WrestleCrap Radio.com: Sir Alec Heineken

Not his actual picture.

[For an enhanced experience, please read the following profile while listening to: Concerto No 1 in E Major (Spring) Allegro by Antonio Vivaldi]

Sir Alec Heineken can speak with an English accent. He used it to read terrible wrestling stories.

Sir Alec Heineken walks through the dark streets of a Kansas suburb. The night is musty. His destination is upon him sooner than expected. Alec approaches. He stares into the window of Blade Braxton's abode. Alec sees Blade is on the phone, co-hosting another episode of WrestleCrap Radio, and not wearing pants, as usual. Blade motions "come here" with his finger. Alec comes inside through the foyer and sits in a recliner in the corner of the living room. Minute after minute, he says not a word, waiting patiently as Blade continues the show. But then, at the right moment, Blade texts R.D. with a message to strike up the theme music to Fan Fiction Theatre. Sir Alec picks up the extension and begins reading some disgusting wrestling-related smut. It's just so gross. Ecch.

Sir Alec was last seen or heard in February 2019. Blade's death two years later prompted a wellness check to his home.

There was no sign of him. The only things found were several unopened malt vinegar bottles and a single brown robe dropped on the floor.

It was also discovered that there had been no such person as "Ellie", Sir Alec's purported love interest. It appears he had imagined or hallucinated her entirely. Reports of her being a so called "Force Ghost" are as of yet unsubstantiated.

Reports of Sir Alec currently being a "Force Ghost" too are also as of yet unsubstantiated.

Filled the progrem's quota as the dirty old man.
Had his own approving audience that cheers him on.
Went around restaurants with his imaginary woman Ellie.
Improvisational with various food items to use for sexual intercourse.
Had an old rivalry with Mike Check.
Good Lord, lad.
Aww...look at that! Way to go! Congratulations! We're so proud of you! That's what I'm talking about! Yes! We knew you could do it! Congratulations! You did it! Whooo!!!

3 comments:

Erik M. said...: Aww...we are so proud of you! Way to go! That's what I'm talking about! Whoo!!!; March 5, 2010 at 5:38 PM
Jaxon Oakley said...: I like your thoughts due to your skills.; December 19, 2017 at 6:39 AM
Jaxon Oakley said...: Sir Alec has been good man because he has been providing all the elements and factors for the comfort of the public. The arrangement of the things for man has been inducted for the further elevation for the individuals.; December 20, 2017 at 7:28 AM