Ahhhh, New Years Eve. A time of reflection. a time of joy, a time where we look back on the year that we've had in the past and look forward to the future. So it is here [on wrestlecrapradio.com - PB] that we look back on the little show that in such a short time has captivated our hearts, and as we look back we also look forward to what may come next year.
Like any good recap of a year in review we start at the beginning. In our case, August 12 when the pilot episode of WrestleCrap Radio hit the airwaves for the first time. How eagerly we anticipated it. How excited we all were when we downloaded it. How almost bursting with anticipation we were as we hit play to listen to our heroes RD and Blade provide audio gold for us all.
That lasted approximately 90 seconds.
A 22 minute audio assault filled with references to Betty White, Don Knotts and Maude ensued as we all hung on hoping it would get better. I suppose for a first episode it wasn't TERRIBLE but it was pretty bad. A lot of people came away from that show disappointed that there was a lack of wrestling talk, there were endless 70's references and a lot of really bad jokes that went nowhere. The kindest thing you could probably say was it needed work.
Then came the second episode and the debut of the phenomenon that is sweeping the world of podcasts: Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiki; everything you could ever want to learn about the world of wrestling in that particular week compressed into just seventeen syllables. With such unforgettable topics as Hulk Hogan and his Depends, Matt Hardy's failing career and the return of Trish Stratus it informed and entertained us week after week. And as such we now bring to you the top 3 Blade Braxton Weekly Wrestling Haikus of 2005 (As voted for by all our crappers.......or at the crappers......err crapper who could be bothered to vote....fortunately that was me so I totally agree with the choices)
#3 From October 28 - When the Haiku turned evil for Halloween.
JR's battered ass.
That was so painful.
My poor eyes felt sodomized.
#2 From December 2 - As Ric Flair Beats on innocent drivers
For shame, Nature Boy.
To be the man, do you have
to throttle the man?
And #1 From October 21 - A sentiment we can all agree with.
The Boogeyman's here.
He wears a big plastic heart.
He has stolen mine
But it wasn't all fun and games on the show and that brings us to one of the biggest moments of the year for WrestleCrap Radio, which coincided with one of wrestling's greatest tragedies, the death of Eddie Guerrero. RD and Blade came out with one of the best shows of the year, capped off by an interview with friend of WrestleCrap and great man "Earthquake" John Tenta as he continues his fight against cancer. The resulting 30-35 minute interview was one of the more touching moments of WrestleCrap Radio, as John openly discussed how he was doing in his fight, gave his opinions on some of the deaths in the wrestling industry and also finally revealed just why all those years ago he agreed to be interviewed by WrestleCrap. In a time we were all searching for meaning after such a tragic time, WrestleCrap Radio came out with its most touching episode, and it's no surprise that it was unanimously voted by our staff here as show of the year. I sincerely hope that we can hear from "Quake" again sometime in the new year.
The other thing that has become a hit is RD's trip to the food mart, where RD discusses a particular thing he noticed while grocery shopping that week. It's amazing how popular this has become and I think it falls to honesty, which is one of the reasons many people like WrestleCrap Radio: RD and Blade don't try and talk down to people, you can switch on, listen and get some laughs for 30 minutes and switch off.
Which brings us to the future. What does WrestleCrap Radio have in store for us in 2006? Well I don't think you're ever going to see the show become all about Wrestling as some people want, that would lose more people than it gained. I think you're going to see more of the same, fun, entertaining content presented in a more professional way, after all we forget that the first show of 2006 will only be show 15. for RD and Blade (16 if you count Get in the Ring. Which while entertaining we're not really going to get into here). As they learn more and more about bouncing ideas of each other RD and Blade will get better at doing the show, hopefully they can get a guest or two along the way to cleanse the palate and it should be onward ever upward for this little show that could.
I certainly will be listening with eager anticipation.
Highlights of Wrestlecrap Radio 2005
August
Wrestlecrap Radio Debuts
August 12 saw the debut of WrestleCrap Radio as RD and Blade brought out a 23 minute tribute to the seventies, filled with references to Don Knotts, Maude, Tim Conway and Betty White.
The Haiku Debuts
Week 2 saw the debut of one of the most popular segments in WrestleCrap Radio: Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku. With a fine music choice and the hot topic of the week brought down into seventeen syllables it became one of the definitive sources of news in the world of wrestling.
The Tee Hee Tickle Party?
Early reviews came in for WrestleCrap Radio just before week three and a lot of them were less than complimentary. Some of the only names that could go to air included the Tee Hee Tickle Party and the Giggle Time Happy Fun Hour (Which should so be used if WrestleCrap Radio ever goes to an hour). RD and Blade soldered on however with talk of Brian Knobbs on Hogan Knows Best, Chris Masters and the sad saga of Matt Hardy's return. The Masterbate should definitely be used though.
September
Wednesday is a Happy Day
I don't know if you realized the hype of Raw going to USA Network in September but if you missed it RD and Blade were right on it. Also there was a EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW of Kane's fictionalized book Journey into Darkness, as read by Blade Braxton. Why the WWE didn't immediately hire him and put that audiobook on Amazon I'll never know, it couldn't be worse than JR reading Stone Cold's book. There was also RD's dream of being on Happy Days, Trish Stratus's return and talk of WWE theme music.
Some Days are Cannonball Run as well
One of the most popular moments of the show was when RD related a dream he had when he was met by Tammy "Sunny" Sytch where she imparted pearls of wisdom (perhaps from Undertaker's learning tree) with the immortal words "Some days are Smokey and the Bandit and Some days are Stroker Ace". Blade dreamt that Demolition returned to Raw and was happy.....and this reporter dreamed that Demolition blindsided him in the cereal aisle, then Smash started singing Poison's "Every Rose has its Thorn" while Ax slow danced with the Fabulous Moolah.......I have no idea what that has to do with WrestleCrap Radio but since RD and Blade shared I thought I would too. Also talk on WWE's newest heel Kennedy, Legends coming back for the Raw Homecoming and the Warrior DVD.
Spike TV censors the Haiku!
It happened. When Raw finally finished on Spike, the network was so paranoid that fans would switch to USA next week that all mentions were censored, which led to a heart warming Haiku by Blade Braxton about USA network and Jeff Jarrett's cornhole being butchered for all eternity. Damn you Spike TV. DAMN YOU TO HELL!
October
Raw's Home. Still sucks though.
The beginning of October saw RD in mourning as he realized Raw used to be good. Kevin Von Erich was at the Raw Homecoming too. Koko took a stuffed bird to the show. But the big news involved the question of the week prize, the Dusty Rhodes book. IT FINALLY FOUND A HOME! Much joy was heard throughout the land as Reflections of an American Dream warmed someone's heart at last.....
For about one week
The Dusty Book is back, the guy changed his mind (HAVE YOU NO SOUL?). Also Blade swears he will wrestle Nicole Bass if the Lions lose more games than the Colts. He also dreamt of sharing muffins with Raven. There was also a petition started to change King Vitamin to King Pedophile, McMahonMania and Hacksaw Jim Duggan somehow being allowed to drive a school bus.
The Boogyman Debuts....along with another popular segment
RD's Trip to the grocery made a low key debut. Ricky Morton got thrown in the big house. Tajiri's Wife can't drive. Lex Luger is shoveling animal crap. But honestly it all pales into insignificance as the Boogyman made his long awaited debut stealing Blade Braxton's heart and the hearts of countless others.
Halloween possession
Actually the Halloween show was kinda hit or miss. Ricky Morton's still in the slammer. April Hunter is having PMS. Santa's Sleigh debuted. And the Haiku was possessed by pure evil as JR's ass infected the show.
November
Earthquake squashes WrestleCrap
There were only two shows in November, [this was the first. - PB] the highlight of which was undoubtedly the "Earthquake" John Tenta interview. John spoke openly on his battle with cancer, deaths in wrestling and just why he agreed all those years ago to talk to WrestleCrap. The result was some of the best radio seen on WrestleCrap Radio this year.
December
Everyone has Yule Logs for Calculator Man!
Ricky Morton's still in jail and with helprickymorton.org fast becoming a tribute to comedy he may be there a while. We heard the touching tale of a man who went out on Black Friday just to buy a calculator, RD bought [i]Cat in the Hat[/i] and Stacy Keibler got work (sadly not in porn), would you let Rick Steiner control YOUR kid's future and the Gooker Nominees were announced. My money's on Diva Search 2.
I do it in a La-Z-Boy personally
Kamala has a new album. RD bought Christmas Crunch. DDP wants some of Jay-Z's Vagina......or something like that. He's also put out a book called Yoga For Regular Guys. I wonder if you can get limber enough using his book to [Censored by the lawyers of wrestlecrapradio.com], cause that would be cool. Somebody call Shelton's Mama (Wonder if he and Ernest Miller are twinsies). And in the most joyous news of all Christy Hemme was fired, which led to dogs singing Jingle Bells.
- Clarence "Showstealer" Mason
Minisode #014 Kamala's Rockin' Xmas
by iggy
December 9, 2005
Little Debbie Cake Trees and Brownie Trees
Yoga for Regular Guys
Kamala's Rocking Chair
Start talking Waffle House.
Dogs are barking jingle bells.
#yuletide edition #six dozen copies
December 9, 2005
Little Debbie Cake Trees and Brownie Trees
Yoga for Regular Guys
Kamala's Rocking Chair
Start talking Waffle House.
Dogs are barking jingle bells.
#yuletide edition #six dozen copies
014 Speaking of Rocking Chairs...: December 9, 2005
Speaking of Rocking Chairs...
(30 minutes)
RD's trip to the food mart: Oh's cereal was shunned in favor of Christmas Crunch. He also cannot resist Little Debbie Trees and cakes and cookies. Blade likes ice cream xmas trees.
Obscure Wrestling News: Combat Zone Wrestling is having a toy donation drive at the Cage Of Death show. Kamala has put out a music album and Blade found samples at thegiantkamala.com. DDP has sued Jay-Z for using the diamond cutter hand sign. Speaking of vaginas, DDP has put out a book called Yoga for Regular Guys. Speaking of rocking chairs, Shelton Benjamin will be getting a mama [Momma], if WWE's searching is anything to go by. It's too bad Safire and Florida from Good Times are dead. RD & Blade want the motto of their podcast to be "I vomited on myself in enjoyment."
Question of the Week from Triple B Bubblegum Brian Boyd: What do you say to Bad News Brown at a Waffle House?
More Boogeyman talk. Hemme was fired. Dogs are barking Jingle Bells.
Haiku to our Dear Departed Diva:
Christy's been fired.
Hope she finds a job or her
butt will need food stamps.
RD promises to exchange gifts with Blade next week.
(30 minutes)
 |
| YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE, BABY! |
Obscure Wrestling News: Combat Zone Wrestling is having a toy donation drive at the Cage Of Death show. Kamala has put out a music album and Blade found samples at thegiantkamala.com. DDP has sued Jay-Z for using the diamond cutter hand sign. Speaking of vaginas, DDP has put out a book called Yoga for Regular Guys. Speaking of rocking chairs, Shelton Benjamin will be getting a mama [Momma], if WWE's searching is anything to go by. It's too bad Safire and Florida from Good Times are dead. RD & Blade want the motto of their podcast to be "I vomited on myself in enjoyment."
Question of the Week from Triple B Bubblegum Brian Boyd: What do you say to Bad News Brown at a Waffle House?
More Boogeyman talk. Hemme was fired. Dogs are barking Jingle Bells.
Haiku to our Dear Departed Diva:
Christy's been fired.
Hope she finds a job or her
butt will need food stamps.
RD promises to exchange gifts with Blade next week.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- Hermit to my Yukon Cornelius, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 14. Trees, Christmas (2), Russo, Christmas (3), pre, wow, vaginas (2), rocking chairs, speaking Ofs (2), rocking chairs (2), making the world a better place
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 2. Nell Carter, Waffle House
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Nell Carter
- Christy Hemme References: 4
- Question of the Week from: Triple B Bubblegum Brian Boyd
- I saw Bad News Brown in the early 90s at a Waffle House but didn't talk to him. What should I have asked him? Those hash browns: you want them smothered, covered, and chunked?
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Christy's been fired.
Hope she finds a job or her
butt will need food stamps.
Minisode #013 Black Friday's Calculator Man
by iggy
December 2, 2005
Ricky Morton stamp
Black Friday at Circuit City
Tajiri's wife is trapped in the house.
Gooker Award nominees
Ric Flair's road rage
#grab the items #hardcore shoppers
December 2, 2005
Ricky Morton stamp
Black Friday at Circuit City
Tajiri's wife is trapped in the house.
Gooker Award nominees
Ric Flair's road rage
#grab the items #hardcore shoppers
013 Yulelog for He-Man: December 2, 2005
Yulelog for He-Man
(32 minutes)
Blade needs to take off his coat.
Blade has visited HelpRickyMorton.org and can't control his laughter.
RD's Trip on Black Friday: some guy stood in line just to get a free calculator. RD bought a DVD copy of Cat in the Hat. Speaking of horrible movies...
Obscure Wrestling News: Stacey Keibler has a job after being in Hollywood for a year. Tajiri's wife must live in a desert, because she does not seem to get out of the house without a car to do things. Rick Steiner is on a board of education. Question of the Week from B-Train: Kane must tombstone Pete Rose because WWE wrestlers can't break kayfabe. RD plans to send him a prize before the next vernal equinox.
The 2005 Gooker nominees are revealed. They are: Muhammed Hassan: Evil American Terrorist, Viscera & Lillian Garcia's Love Story, the Sad Saga of Jim Ross, Kurt Angle's approval of bestiality, Heidenreich in LOD, the Boogeyman, Kane 2005, Jillian Hall's mole (speaking of deformities), the Diva Search 2 (a repeat nominee!), and the Ultimate Warrior saying that 'queering don't make the world work' among other bizarre stuff.
Speaking of Car Wrecks (brought to you by Joseph Haiku Sr.):
For shame, Nature Boy.
To be the man, do you have
to throttle the man?
(32 minutes)
Blade needs to take off his coat.
Blade has visited HelpRickyMorton.org and can't control his laughter.
 |
| SEND HAIR CLIPPERS TOO, YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN HE MIGHT NEED THOSE IN PRISON. |
RD's Trip on Black Friday: some guy stood in line just to get a free calculator. RD bought a DVD copy of Cat in the Hat. Speaking of horrible movies...
Obscure Wrestling News: Stacey Keibler has a job after being in Hollywood for a year. Tajiri's wife must live in a desert, because she does not seem to get out of the house without a car to do things. Rick Steiner is on a board of education. Question of the Week from B-Train: Kane must tombstone Pete Rose because WWE wrestlers can't break kayfabe. RD plans to send him a prize before the next vernal equinox.
The 2005 Gooker nominees are revealed. They are: Muhammed Hassan: Evil American Terrorist, Viscera & Lillian Garcia's Love Story, the Sad Saga of Jim Ross, Kurt Angle's approval of bestiality, Heidenreich in LOD, the Boogeyman, Kane 2005, Jillian Hall's mole (speaking of deformities), the Diva Search 2 (a repeat nominee!), and the Ultimate Warrior saying that 'queering don't make the world work' among other bizarre stuff.
Speaking of Car Wrecks (brought to you by Joseph Haiku Sr.):
For shame, Nature Boy.
To be the man, do you have
to throttle the man?
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Higgins to my Magnum P.I., Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 11. Being a dumbass, horrible movies, staying in character, bearded ladies, that, deformities 3 (3), car wrecks (2), wrecks
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 4. Skeletor, He-Man, She-Ra, Dolph Lundgren, Man-At-Arms
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- RD Time Outs: 2
- Debut: Black Friday
- Question of the Week from: B-Train
- Since the WWE has told all the wrestlers to stay in character, does that mean if Kane ever ran into Pete Rose again he has to tombstone him? That should be every year.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
For shame, Nature Boy.
To be the man, do you have
to throttle the man?