by iggy
July 27, 2007
Don Mason destroyed Blade's Plymouth Horizon.
RD thinks Wendy's has gone weird.
Fantasy Booking Island
#pipin #horse
071 Fantasy Booking Island: July 27, 2007
Fantasy Booking Island
(108 minutes)
RD and Blade were on Bryan Alvarez's podcast. Brooke is not "anonymous" but Blade is. Quote he: "Can you imagine if we did a show everyday?"
RD's Trip to Wendy's (:08): Blade's runaway Plymouth Horizon story featuring Don Mason. He is asked to write "The Blade Braxton Story". Wendy's has freaks on their take-out paper bags.
Co-Host Contest Week 18 (:20): Starring Primetime (:25), Tom (:32), Seth (Drakin?) (:41), Ed Salo (:47) and WWE's incorrect and useless trivia book. A recorded message and wrong number sum up the Contest. The auditions are (finally) finished. A "winner" will be announced after the 'tapes' are 'reviewed'. Final Tally: 14 of 24.
Clocktrolla: 10138 days. (:50)
Obscure Wrestling News: Rickey Morton left a show because his tag partner Robert Gibson and his glass eye were making three times as much money. (:53) Blade: "I’d still be cleaning the Jergens off me right now." Tajiri does not want to return to WWE, though no one knows if it has to do with his imprisoned wife. The Zombie managed to beat his opponent last week. Mike Knox is returning to bodyslam the Miz. (:60) Areola is selling her vampire wares. (:63) Blade: "Do you need a good spunk rag or a funk sock?" Jackie Gayda's former boyfriend is looking for an excuse to sell her models by also providing free nude pics. "Good friend of the show" Dan Spivey was arrested for a DUI. Blade considers Dan Spivey a role model. The Horsetrolla has a myspace: (:69) Mickie James will be stage-diving at the Warped Tour. According to Blade, Don Mason's grandfather once stumbled onto a guy fucking a horse.
The Question of the Week segment has returned. (:74) Josh has an idea for a food related tag team. The Dusty Rhodes book is still at WrestleCrap HQ.
Mr Rourke's Fantasy Booking Island, e.g. Fantasy Crap Island. (:79 - :87)
WWE has put Hacksaw and Sandman into a tag team. Hulk will be on QVC hawking the Hogan Grill. (:87) Washed-up famous people choose to sell food-preparation machines because pretty much anything that produces heat can cook food and the instructions are simple: put food in thing, close lid, turn on. It's good masturbation material for Blade though. ("That’s between me and the funk sock.") McMahon is still behind the times, especially when it comes to music. Battle of Kings: Booker vs Jerome Lawler. (:96) RD loved the Hitman vs Doink / Lawler DQ match.
Delayed Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.
(108 minutes)
RD's Trip to Wendy's (:08): Blade's runaway Plymouth Horizon story featuring Don Mason. He is asked to write "The Blade Braxton Story". Wendy's has freaks on their take-out paper bags.
Co-Host Contest Week 18 (:20): Starring Primetime (:25), Tom (:32), Seth (Drakin?) (:41), Ed Salo (:47) and WWE's incorrect and useless trivia book. A recorded message and wrong number sum up the Contest. The auditions are (finally) finished. A "winner" will be announced after the 'tapes' are 'reviewed'. Final Tally: 14 of 24.
Clocktrolla: 10138 days. (:50)
Obscure Wrestling News: Rickey Morton left a show because his tag partner Robert Gibson and his glass eye were making three times as much money. (:53) Blade: "I’d still be cleaning the Jergens off me right now." Tajiri does not want to return to WWE, though no one knows if it has to do with his imprisoned wife. The Zombie managed to beat his opponent last week. Mike Knox is returning to bodyslam the Miz. (:60) Areola is selling her vampire wares. (:63) Blade: "Do you need a good spunk rag or a funk sock?" Jackie Gayda's former boyfriend is looking for an excuse to sell her models by also providing free nude pics. "Good friend of the show" Dan Spivey was arrested for a DUI. Blade considers Dan Spivey a role model. The Horsetrolla has a myspace: (:69) Mickie James will be stage-diving at the Warped Tour. According to Blade, Don Mason's grandfather once stumbled onto a guy fucking a horse.
The Question of the Week segment has returned. (:74) Josh has an idea for a food related tag team. The Dusty Rhodes book is still at WrestleCrap HQ.
Mr Rourke's Fantasy Booking Island, e.g. Fantasy Crap Island. (:79 - :87)
WWE has put Hacksaw and Sandman into a tag team. Hulk will be on QVC hawking the Hogan Grill. (:87) Washed-up famous people choose to sell food-preparation machines because pretty much anything that produces heat can cook food and the instructions are simple: put food in thing, close lid, turn on. It's good masturbation material for Blade though. ("That’s between me and the funk sock.") McMahon is still behind the times, especially when it comes to music. Battle of Kings: Booker vs Jerome Lawler. (:96) RD loved the Hitman vs Doink / Lawler DQ match.
Delayed Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Extreme to my Expose, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Figure Four Weekly, Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
- URLs not taken: 3. DigitalPheromones.com, soiledwithsemen.com, funksock.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 8. The exotic types and world tours of love, going around the world getting poontang, the grocery, dramatic, women of WCW, cheap bucks, people about as old as Mr. Rourke, living in the past
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 30. Plymouth Horizon (4), Dodge Omni, Plymouth Horizon (5), Dodge Omni (4), Plymouth Horizon (11), Fantasy Island, Maude, Happy Days, Fantasy Island (2)
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Mr. Roark, Tattoo
- F-Bombs: 3. Blade as his mom, Blade (2)
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 3
- Weird Al Laughs: 3
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
- Cricket Chirps: 1
- ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
- Mickie James References: 6
- Ashley Massaro References: 3
- Shelly Martinez References: 3
- Return: Question of the Week from: Josh
- Mr. Mrs. Deal, with Johnny Nitro becoming John Morrison, I was thinking if WWE ever decides to reunite M&M, would they now be called MMM? And if so what are the odds they do a cross-promotional ad campaign for Hungry Man Dinners with Homer Simpson? License to print money! Give my best to Uncle Burt. No sold.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.
070 Late Night with RD Reynolds: July 20, 2007
Late Night with RD Reynolds
(52 minutes)
Late taping this week, so no Co-Hosss Contest (Week 17). Khali, world champion. Michelle McCool is lovin' life. (:06) Blade: "Um, I really prefer having a penis attached to me." Misses RD writes a Women of Wrestling induction and labels the rest of the staff hacks. The Crickets have names now. Apparently Misses RD killed one of them off.
Clocktrolla: 10145 days. (:14) Faxtrolla (:19): DDP and Jay-Z settled the diamond cutter hand gesture lawsuit. Sci-Fi wants to make a TV series based on They Live and want Roddy Piper involved. This will not work unless they make space to have him fight Keith David for five minutes on each episode. (:22) WSX went out of business because they had to keep rebuilding the arena. Big Daddy V debuted, with suspenders and giant breasts. (:33) Miz, the ladies man who manages to only attract mannequins. (:37) If someone replaced Anonymous Brooke with someone else would anyone notice? Blade: "Three words: Damn fine cartwheel." John Morrison won the ECW championship. (:44)
Fifteen-Second Haiku:
No time for losers,
Khali is the champion
of the world. ARGH ARGH.
(52 minutes)
Late taping this week, so no Co-Hosss Contest (Week 17). Khali, world champion. Michelle McCool is lovin' life. (:06) Blade: "Um, I really prefer having a penis attached to me." Misses RD writes a Women of Wrestling induction and labels the rest of the staff hacks. The Crickets have names now. Apparently Misses RD killed one of them off.
 |
| ARGH ARGH. |
Fifteen-Second Haiku:
No time for losers,
Khali is the champion
of the world. ARGH ARGH.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Great to my Khali, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Angry Marks
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 8. Mrs. Deal, fantastic websites, references, giblets, fantastic website, good times, salty, salty sweat in the eye
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 2. Robert Conrad, Bret Michaels
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
- Cricket Chirps: 1
- WSXplosions: 2
- Mailbag: N/A
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
No time for losers,
Khali is the champion
of the world. ARGH ARGH.
Minisode #069 Blade and the Food Jobber
by iggy
July 13, 2007
Vince loves hillbillies.
Blade could've bought a food jobber.
Young Harts
WWE Magazine flatters RD.
The Undertaker Building
#overalls #flipensteins
July 13, 2007
Vince loves hillbillies.
Blade could've bought a food jobber.
Young Harts
WWE Magazine flatters RD.
The Undertaker Building
#overalls #flipensteins
069 Hogan Knows Breast: July 13, 2007
Hogan Knows Breast
(77 minutes)
WWE has many red necks on its roster.
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kaboom bowl blaster should do cross-promotions with Kaboom cereal and the video game Kaboom.
No Co-Host Contest (Week 16) because Blade was too hung-over to reply to the contestants. (:18) If that doesn't summarize the Contest...
Mail Bag: John Thomas has a Myspace page. Spiky900 thinks John and the Repo Man should tag team. (:23) A forum fundraiser for Blade to go out on a lunch date with Mimi has so far raised negative dollars. The Nitro girls have no talent and have some strange names. Neil Parthon listens every week (poor guy). (:32) There are actual Food Jobbers and Meat Jobbers. Someone wanted to sell Blade his old mobile food unit. Chris McGuiness has the show's only good joke today. (:38) Funk Sock. It's spelled FAXTrolla.
Clocktrolla: 10152 days. (:40)
Obscure Wrestling News (:44): RD wants to go all Iron Sheik on Blade and cut promos against him. Teddy Hart, Bret's cousin and formerly of WSX, is heading to WWE to flip all over the ring. (:49) RD and Blade want to go on a dinner date, so RD suggests they go to JR's BBQ restaurant in OK which is close by to former Lion Billy Sim's own one. (:53) WWE Magazine has new features that are similar to WrestleCrap columns. (:57) Shelton should go in search of his momma. The Undertaker has a new $2.7 million building, which is NOT the world's biggest stable. (:63)
(77 minutes)
WWE has many red necks on its roster.
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kaboom bowl blaster should do cross-promotions with Kaboom cereal and the video game Kaboom.
No Co-Host Contest (Week 16) because Blade was too hung-over to reply to the contestants. (:18) If that doesn't summarize the Contest...
Mail Bag: John Thomas has a Myspace page. Spiky900 thinks John and the Repo Man should tag team. (:23) A forum fundraiser for Blade to go out on a lunch date with Mimi has so far raised negative dollars. The Nitro girls have no talent and have some strange names. Neil Parthon listens every week (poor guy). (:32) There are actual Food Jobbers and Meat Jobbers. Someone wanted to sell Blade his old mobile food unit. Chris McGuiness has the show's only good joke today. (:38) Funk Sock. It's spelled FAXTrolla.
Clocktrolla: 10152 days. (:40)
Obscure Wrestling News (:44): RD wants to go all Iron Sheik on Blade and cut promos against him. Teddy Hart, Bret's cousin and formerly of WSX, is heading to WWE to flip all over the ring. (:49) RD and Blade want to go on a dinner date, so RD suggests they go to JR's BBQ restaurant in OK which is close by to former Lion Billy Sim's own one. (:53) WWE Magazine has new features that are similar to WrestleCrap columns. (:57) Shelton should go in search of his momma. The Undertaker has a new $2.7 million building, which is NOT the world's biggest stable. (:63)Blade: "You know of I were to pass away and like, one of my family members came in there to open that box, can you imagine the sheer horror on their face?"
Blade has sources. (:69)
Seventeen Syllables on Brooke Hogan's Tucans:
Brookester's new boobies.
What, you ask, could be better?
Some bright orange nipples.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Festus to my Jesse, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap Book of Lists, Global Internet, Angry Marks, KaBoom Bowl Blaster
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 5. 5 star entertainment, things that suck, Grandmasters, things that are fantastic, someone bought this
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 8. Activision, Atari, KaBoom!, Kaboom Clown, The Fall Guy, Singer, Sears, Dick Clark
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Weird Al Laughs: 2
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
- Cricket Chirps: 3
- ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
- Mailbag
- Spiky900: If John Thomas the infamous bill collector from Chase Meridian Mastercharge and the Repo Man formed a tag team and called themselves the Debtonators, what would their finisher be? I'm thinking they would win most of their matches with a Schoolgirl in Heat rollup. This guy answered his own question.
- Neil Parthon: I listen to Wrestlecrap Radio every week. However, on your show from June 6th you made an error. According to some California state statues a quote "food jobber" is indeed an establishment. I quote: "food establishment means any restaurant, vehicle, itinerant restaurant, mobile food preparation unit, vending machine, bakery, food processing establishment, delicatessen, grocery, confectionery, meat market or plant, meat jobber, food jobber, and any other establishment or place or portion thereof maintained, used, or operated for the sole purpose of commercially storing, packaging, displaying, making, cooking, baking, mixing, processing, bottling, canning, slaughtering, or other preparing or handling food or beverage." Who knew that there were not only food jobbers but also meat jobbers? Wrestlecrap Radio: raising the bar with not only obscure wrestling news and comedic jokes, but now you're raising the awareness and frontiers of our fellow crappers' linguistic capabilities and vocabulary prowess. No sold.
- Chris McGuiness: After all the discussion last week about the various Trollas at Wrestlecrap HQ it made me think. In fact I've been pondering this question for a long time since I was lucky enough to be a contestant during the second week of the co-host contest. If you received a gadget that gave you news only about Chris Jericho, would it be called the Ayatolla of Rock 'N' Rolla Trolla? He's good.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Brookester's new boobies.
What, you ask, could be better?
Some bright orange nipples.
Minisode #068 ClockTrolla
by iggy
July 6, 2007
Half & Half Pop-Tarts
Rap Snackz
Trolla sent the ClockTrolla to RD
Vince gets a star on the Walk of Fame.
Uh Oh.
#frozen food at Big Lots #not perfect
July 6, 2007
Half & Half Pop-Tarts
Rap Snackz
Trolla sent the ClockTrolla to RD
Vince gets a star on the Walk of Fame.
Uh Oh.
#frozen food at Big Lots #not perfect
068 The Food Jobber: July 6, 2007
The Food Jobber
(85 minutes)
The Co-Hosts will not be discussing recent events because they're trying so hard just to be 'funny'. (:02)
Angry Marks' new ad copy sadly does away with Mike Jones testicular violence. (:12)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Go-Tarts with creamy filling. Half and Half Pop-Tarts on the other hand don't have that. Hip-Hop Potato Chips from Lil' Romeo. Blade tries "BBQing with my honey" and does not like it.
Co-Host Contest Week 15 (:27): Things have gotten to the point that no one bothers to respond. Next week will be the 'last' week, with essays graded by Blade.
Mail Bag (:32): Ultimate Kennedy (3) wants astronaut wrestlers. RD wants the radio progrem to be on satellite radio. The grocery is termed 'the food jobber'. (:37) A typo is funny for some reason. (:39) The Fabulous Ones were obviously gay, and RD once again states that he is obviously not. Blade: "I’m not fucking Steve Keirn and I’m not banging Stan Lane!"
Obscure Wrestling News: Paul Wight wants to box. (:45) The Crickets have a Myspace page. Brother Midnight is coming on the progrem. RD finally updated his links page. Lita has her own radio show, though it's not yet on satellite radio. (:51) Take Magnificent Mimi out on a lunch date. (:54)
Clocktrolla: The Trolla Corporation has sent to RD a device to count down the days Candace Michelle has left to break Moolah's record title reign. Only 10,159 days left. (:60)
McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Susan "Uh Oh" St. James. (:70) Marella lost his belt. Super Crazy screwjob.
(85 minutes)
The Co-Hosts will not be discussing recent events because they're trying so hard just to be 'funny'. (:02)
Angry Marks' new ad copy sadly does away with Mike Jones testicular violence. (:12)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Go-Tarts with creamy filling. Half and Half Pop-Tarts on the other hand don't have that. Hip-Hop Potato Chips from Lil' Romeo. Blade tries "BBQing with my honey" and does not like it.
Co-Host Contest Week 15 (:27): Things have gotten to the point that no one bothers to respond. Next week will be the 'last' week, with essays graded by Blade.
Mail Bag (:32): Ultimate Kennedy (3) wants astronaut wrestlers. RD wants the radio progrem to be on satellite radio. The grocery is termed 'the food jobber'. (:37) A typo is funny for some reason. (:39) The Fabulous Ones were obviously gay, and RD once again states that he is obviously not. Blade: "I’m not fucking Steve Keirn and I’m not banging Stan Lane!"
 |
| Clocktrolla |
Clocktrolla: The Trolla Corporation has sent to RD a device to count down the days Candace Michelle has left to break Moolah's record title reign. Only 10,159 days left. (:60)
McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Susan "Uh Oh" St. James. (:70) Marella lost his belt. Super Crazy screwjob.
Blade: "I would only hope if something ever happened to me they would send you a BladeTrolla."
Seventeen Dildo-Free Syllables:
She thinks she's Hennig.
Michelle McCool is abso-
lutely not perfect.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Yankee Doodle to my Dandee, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap Archive DVD, Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap Book of Lists
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 5. Unleashing the floodgates of laughter, shilling, Pop Tarts, well structured letters, seeing boxes
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 7. Europe’s Final Countdown, Bill Hickey, Bee Gees, Barry Gibb, Maurice Gibb, Bryan Adams, J.Geils Band
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade
- ClockTrolla Chimes: 3
- Entertain The People: 1
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Susan St. James Uh Ohs: 22
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
- Cricket Chirps: 3
- Lita References: 5
- Mailbag
- Ultimate Kennedy (3): Dear RD and Blade, are you guys surprised that in all the history of bad ideas in wrestling, there hasn't been any astronaut gimmicks yet in wrestling? The guy could clomp around to the ring in moon boots, carry an astro blaster to blow away the babyfaces? Yes, an EVIL wrestling astronaut. Also RD, being a fan of The Simpsons, do you remember the episode where Mr. Burns needs Lisa's help to get his money back by recycling? Mr. Burns at one point goes to the grocery store which he calls "The Food Jobber". Is this obscure wrestling news due to the jobber reference? You should make it RD's Trip to the Food Jobber. I have to look into that.
- Anonymous: Hey RDizzle and Blade, what wrestler do you think is overrated and given way too big of a push? My choice would be John Cena. He reminds me of a skinner in a way more talented belt hogging P.N. News. Call me old fashioned even though I'm only 21 but that spinner belt pisses me off! No sold.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Spit and slap the chewing gum walk off.
She thinks she's Hennig.
Michelle McCool is abso-
lutely not perfect.