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| Take Your Vitamins, Brother! |
(86 minutes)
RD unjustly accuses Blade Braxton of wanting to milk Linda Hogan's udders.
We waste some time with innuendo of lubing a penis before sticking it in.
RD proposes a WrestleCrap Carnival for the crappers with midget tossing and Mike Jones testicles dunk tanking. (:13)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Coke Plus has been unleashed. RD doesn't want his carbon sugar water to have minerals and vitamins. RD and Blade drink a sickening amount of milk every week. RD had leaky milk at Wal-Mart. This angers Blade for some reason.
Co-Host Contest Week 9: taking it easy. (:24) A debate rages with David Schnatz over Tatanka (Buffalo). Blade makes a saving throw for a contestant. Ramses responses with farting sounds. (:36) 6 of 16.
Mail Bag: boring. (:43) Puff Master Mark is sad that CM Punk does not tag team with the Sandman in the style of The Odd Couple. Eric Majorwitz (3) inquires into Randy Baer's whereabouts. Perhaps he's with the Beverly Hillbillies? (:46) Seth Drakin wants a Dukes of Hazzard tag team. (:47)
Obscure Wrestling News: Nidia gave birth to Lilith Fae Dal Bosco. (:48) Blade is NOT the father. Lita does not look like a man up close. WWE beverages, Raw Attitude and Slammin Citrus, (no Smackdown Punch) will hit Wal-Mart shelves on May 15. (:54) Sean O'Haire is still in jail after a bar fight. David Lee Roth impressions.
RD: "I wanna recap the show so far. We've talked about Brooke Hogan getting it with a broomstick, talked about Linda Hogan's leaky milk jugs, Virgil Vincent Mike Jones getting the Thousand Jap Slap into the genitals, and now we're talking about doing a show where Blade Braxton impersonates RD Reynolds impersonating David Lee Roth doing Yankee Rose Wrestling News. I will say this for the show: I promise you that no other wresting radio show covers that broad a spectrum."
Horsetrolla (:62): Mickie James is considering posing for Playboy. Hulk said he'd smoke massive doobage. (:68) Hulk vs Lawler has become Hulk vs Paul Wight.
Every match on TNA Lockdown was a cage match, with extra stipulations. (:71) One was a blindfold match and the blindfolds kept slipping. Last year there was a match on top of a cage.
Randy Orton was sent home. (:77) Blade is constantly gonged for his bad singing. HHH was riding a horse named Butterscotch. The Condemned premieres this weekend.
Milked-Out Seventeen Syllables:
Nathan Jones, Condemned.
Jones 3:16 -- I just Vi-
tamin D'ed your ass.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by not-Beverly Hillbilly Erik Majorwitz)
- The Brooke to my Linda, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 3. Lube, chemicals that cause cancer in laboratory rats, milk
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 2. Dr. Quinn, Quincy M.D.
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 2. Blade
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
- Cricket Chirps: 1
- Mickie James References: 2
- Trish Stratus References: 2
- Mailbag
- Puff Master Mark: Are you as sad as I am that CM Punk did not join the ECW Originals so he could form a tag team with the Sandman? They could be called The Odd Couple 2000 and Punk could follow the Sandman during his entrance and pick up his tossed beer cans with an umbrella. Mad props for being older than RD and Blade.
- Erik Majorwitz (3): Your comment on Jethro bowls of cereal got me thinking of The Beverley Hillbillies. The character that played Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies was Max Baer Jr., son of boxing champ Max Baer. Your co-author from Wrestlecrap was Randy Baer. Any relation between the two? Not to my knowledge. What is he up to? It's like he just vanished.
- Seth Drakin: Would you mark for Jamie Noble and Jimmy Yang Wang teaming up to be a Dukes of Hazzard tag team? And if it ever happened who would you want to be their Daisy Duke-type manager? No sold.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Nathan Jones, Condemned.
Jones 3:16 -- I just Vi-
tamin D'ed your ass.
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