Not The Kimberly Page Head That Blade Wanted |
(88 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah
Big celebration of TNA as they finally get their due on Wrestlecrap! Pac Man Jones gets his own induction, and the three Classic Inductions are all TNA related, It Came From YOUTUBE! features some weird TNA remix video with Dave Meltzer, Someone Bought This covers some random T-Shirts as if sold from some TNA Garage Sale, and the Jobber of the Week is the previously inducted Mr. X.
New Navy recruit Peter Gazer is mentioned barely one minute in. RD remarks on the bondage-themed names of TNA's PPVs, and suggests changing TNA's name to the more dignified S&M. (:03) RD already has Peter's new replacement for TNA reporting after a...whole week of intensive search for the "ultimate TNA fan" for "100% wrestling news". I'm surprised the crickets didn't start chirping in response. Blade tries to sing Pat Benatar. (:07) Speaking of Blade singing karoake...he is still recording tracks with the Hobo Six. (:10) The Wrestlecrap Archive Disc Volume 2 will be available for pre-ordering next week.
RD's Trip to the
Obscure Wrestling Sad News: The Sandman retiring causes Blade to drink. (:24) RD believes Blade forgot the discussion of his son Twisted Sand starting his own wrestling career; of course RD himself forgets that that was the episode where Triple Kelly filled in for a missing Blade, so neither side is in the right here. The Warrior's ex-wife is trying to publish a tell all book about their marriage. (:28) This of course leads to a six-minute digression of Blade buying Kimberly Page's head, this week's Interactive Segment. RD wonders if Blade used the head as some sort of second foreskin/penis head, and further grinds the show to a halt by imagining the Warrior with a double-donger. Yeah, you're not missing much. (Besides, won't his hands be already full with shaking those ropes all the time?)
The brother of Smackdown's Eve, AKA the Anonymous Brooke clone who won the 2007 Diva Search (yeah I don't remember her either), won $100,000 on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?. (:38) Blade's passionate reading of her statement reminds RD of "Rambo" Greg Gagne. Here's a thought, why isn't HE on the show? License to print money I say.
Sources have told RD that the Shockmaster is getting his own action figure (:48), though whether or not royalties to George Lucas have to be paid for the stormtrooper helmet remain to be seen. Perhaps he can be this generation's King Haiku; "Does not come with helmet as illustrated." Dangerous Danny Davis and Trish Stratus are also getting their own figures.
Dream Analysis: Blade dreams of talking to Mickie James about Transformers in his moon van. (:52) I'm surprised he didn't compare her to a Ford Mustang. Don Mason once ate his own roofies. (:60) RD wonders if he even exists, forgetting entirely his role as Gordon Solie in Blade's Revenge of the Black Scorpion.
Speaking of people probably existing Schrödinger-style the latest TNA Correspondent, Nathaniel Edward Rodham Davis, enters with the TNA intro end-tailed with a very prophetic explosion. (:61) For those of you unable to listen to this latest...addition in WCR history (even if unintentionally) he's essentially RD's first book co-author Randy Baer with a high-pitched geek/nerd/poindexter tone of voice, like he's attempting to be a (white) Urkel or something. This is apparently considered worthy of 12 minutes of runtime.
This Week's "Question" ("trapped in 2002", much like our good friends here) (:73) is
Current (and Music-less) Wrestling News: Smackdown's ratings have dropped to 1.9 (:78). Let's hope the return of the Boogeyman brings them back up. Blade remembers the good old days of wrestling when things were good and the radio progrem had not yet begun. Santino may wrestle Roddy Piper, Goldust, or the Honky Tonk Man, depending on your votes for Cyber Sunday/Taboo Tuesday. (:82) Kelly Kelly is poised to pose for Playboy. No word on whether she'll do any handstands for it.
Seventeen barely able to Strip Syllables:
Kelly Kelly nude.
What's next? Anonymous Brooke
spreads in Beaver Hunt.
That phone ringing is going to haunt my nightmares, let me tell you.
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