WCR Poll 6: What Was Your Favorite WCR Christmas Story?

Thanks for voting. The results for our 2012 Christmas poll:



This poll was conducted to find out your favorite story told during the Wrestlecrap Radio Christmas Specials (2006-2011).

• The most popular (and best IMO) was "The Reuben Trashbagging Story". Reuben was Blade's 'not so bright' ex co-worker, from his flooring business, who brought a "used" trash bag inside the house to collect sawdust. Not only did it stink out the place, but it happened while the owners happened to be conducting an inspection. It's too bad that the poor guy with "a kid and a car payment" eventually got let go.
• Coming in equal 2nd was a story about the way RD's discovers the "truth" about Santa. While visiting Santa at the mall as a child, like lot of us, he was expecting to meet a bearded, old, overweight Caucasian male. But seeing an African American man in a Santa suit can sort of change your perspective on things.
• Also in 2nd place is one of multiple Don Mason (Yes, I'm talking about Don...Don Mason) stories. In this classic, Blade recounts the time Don told him that using dessert toppings improves oral sex because it removes the "salty taste". That’s some very good advice from a very very strange man.
• In 3rd place is the Don Mason story where he wanted to get into bed with a woman who was (to put it politically correct) "small in stature" and who also happened to be married. Why Don wanted to do this? Who knows? To understand Don's logic is more mind boggling than...did I mention he was a strange man?
• In 4th we have RD's story (one of two which were actually about Christmas) where he took RD Jr. to the zoo to see Santa. Deal notices that Santa's mailbox is a barely disguised trash can. I guess even Santa has been suffering during these tough economic times when he can’t even afford an actual mailbox or at least afford some decorations to cover up the fact that looks like a trash can.
• In last place (which did at least get 1 vote) was the story of when Blade and Don as kids gave the poor “hobo girl” the middle finger while they drove past her in Blade’s Mother’s car. Well, at least we know that in Blade’s case: (*puts on sunglasses*) "Khama is a bitch".

Click on the link below to view results of previous polls:

previous poll results

RD's Festivus "Airing of the Grievances"

I can’t believe it’s been one year since I’ve been recruited here. Since then I’ve had encounters with nerd zombies and had a Twitter war with Angry Jim Ross (out of all people).

Unfortunately my job plus being forced to find Mike Check made things way too difficult, and in fact I can’t release most of the stories yet on how I finally found the man due to some “POSSIBLE LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS” against us. So in honor of last year while I’m waiting on Clarence Mason giving me the OK to release I decided to bring in the holiday tradition like I did last year.

Last year I decided to do my own version of the Steve Martin “Saturday Night Live” classic bit “One Christmas Wish” and well…this year I decided to bring my heritage on the site. You see I…well…I celebrate Festivus, the Festival for the Rest of Us.
I’ll let this explain it:



Yup. That’s what I celebrate and since my family is out of town for the first time in years I have decided to do the annual “Airing of the Grievances” where I tell all of you how I feel about all of you the past year. Let’s start off with…

1. WWE’s latest thing they want to cram down our throats which is my new headache I call Ryback! The thing that I have with the artist formerly known as Skip Sheffield is this; when Ryback re-debuted IMMEDIATELY he was hyped as a killing machine that can’t be stopped! If you define “killing machine” as a big, muscle guy that can’t feel pain by taking on living stick men then yes! Then Ryback continues to basically not only become a walking accident but, man, his interviews are SO douchy! Ryback says in recent interviews that “he knew” that he was going to be a star. You know who else say this? “American Idol” train wreck losers that’s what! You know what I mean! The ones that sing SO bad that their notes register in notes that only dogs and inter-dimensional beings can hear! Most recently Ryback has said that “he no longer hears the Goldberg chants because they are gone!” Last time I checked which was last week’s RAW the “Goldberg” chants still exist! The guy’s a giant douche!

2. You know what I got a complaint about? The recent pop music that is out there. That’s the reason why most “American Idol” failures think they can be famous! Nicki Minaj can’t even sing and Lady Gaga can barely carry a GD note! Yet all they have to do is dress up like morons and they get people to like them! Hell Gaga wore a meat dress while carrying a purse with the C-Word on it! It is kind of like pro wrestling now when all you need is a flashy gimmick and screw the talent! Where’s the talent? Where’s the love? Where’s the desire to sing a damn good song not a song that will impress Simon Cowell or you have to do while wearing a blonde wig while stomping on an apple pie? Music is now a joke and I mean that literally!

3. Speaking of jokes I have a serious complaint about “The Creeps”, fans of “New Year’s Day”. For fans of the Podcast you know I’m friends with Ash Costello and Ash has been strongly for supporting individuality; yet her damn fans are trying to copy her! Honestly I never understood the whole fandom base when fans think they can do what they want and find it acceptable yet when others see them they go “WTF?!?” In this case they are copying Ash’s look, hair, nails, the whole she-bang! Also isn’t that a WEEE bit hypocritical when the fans try to take away Ash’s identity?!? The “Sheep Creeps” as I like to call them now need to respect Ash. Then again they are fans so they aren’t going to give a damn!

4. Speaking of fans yet again! TNA what the hell?!? Yeah I know that the whole Claire Lynch storyline was crap but how could you let the online wrestling fans bully the actress that played Claire Lynch off your programming?!? Was Claire like a temp or something so you decided not to protect her; and what the hell is Hulk Hogan talking about wanting the TNA World Title? I mean COME ON!
And uh…uh…okay I lost my train of thought there. Something to do with Cena, The Incredible Hulk, and hamsters. Okay now I remember.

5. Angry Jim Ross! I don’t know how you wanted a piece of me you SON OF A BITCH! I got three very familiar words for you! GO F**K Yourself!!!


I think the “Airing of the Grievances” is done with. Now if you will excuse me I got to find someone for the “Feats of Strength”.

WCR Video: Wrestlecrap.com's Christmas Present

Oh boy it's a doozy!



I gotta agree with Deal, it is pretty hard to find Christmas Crunch.

We're back baby!

#8: Angry Jim's Christmas Special: "It's An Angry Life"

credit for pic: kingsuperspecial

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by WWE's Jim Ross & is not intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a very loosely based parody based on the Wrestlecrap Radio character.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: The views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do not reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer: Despite being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself. Say what you want about him, but he IS still a WWE employee after all. At least, he is this week. - PB)

How ya doin' tonight nerds!

It's Christmas time and....F***k it! I don't give a **** about Christmas this year because 2012 was **** for me:

• Wrestlecrap Radio ended so I can't vent verbally on the radio anymore!
• Johnny Age & Raging_D***head, along with everybody else (except me), have been ****ing a wife...and maybe even Dark Journey!
• Hollywood John's incompetence has been ****ing up my BBQ business..(Not to mention that my house almost burned down after I tried to BBQ his ****ing featured boa in the backyard on Black Friday and the ****ing feathers blew onto my roof)!
• I have had to commentate for NXT in that cesspool in Florida!
• Vince made fun of my Palsy...again!
• I lost the presidency! 
• My new men's cologne called "Fa 'Que Self" isn't selling that well this Christmas!
• And I've been arrested and deported more times this year than any other!

You know what! F*** yourselves! I'm not gonna write my Mailbag! I'm too angry. What's the point of living?!? Why did those dumb ***hole Mayans get it wrong?! By Gawd, I wish I was never born!


Jiimm!


What the **** was that?!?!


Jim, this is Stewart Patrick. I am a former Shakespearean..Acto...Marketing Director of TNA. The other deceased TNA correspondents and I have been watching you from heaven...well except for at around 11pm each night while you do inappropriate things to yourself while you browse Dark Journey's issue of "Leg Show"... Anyway Jim, we have seen you even more angry than usual, and I have been sent on a mission to help you realize that your life is worth living.


Go **** yourself! What are you taking about?! I'm dreaming this?!


No Jim!!! This is not a dream! I'm here to take you to where no man has gone before and show you just how life would have been like if you were never born. It may give you a better perspective of your life, and I have been promised that I will earn my wings if complete my mission successfully. So, let's make it so....


...ENERGIZE...


Where the **** are we?!


We are in a hypothetical world where you have never existed Jim, and right now we are in a WWE arena.


WWE arena!? This is a high school gym!?


Yes. Because you were never born, Vince McMahon continued on as the lead announcer because he never trusted anyone else to take over the booth after Gorilla Monsoon left...although they did use Zombie Monsoon for a short stint, but that's neither here or there. Anyway, because he remained an announcer, he never had that legendary feud with Steve Austin which brought his company out of near bankruptcy.


What the **** you talking about!? Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Still became the top name in the business right!?


No Jim. Because you were never head of Talent Relations, WWE never saw anything in him, thus never hiring him. He remained in the WCW as a mid-carder. He retired sometime in the late 1990's after he broke both his legs jumping off the top rope when he was wrestling as Shockmaster III. And just like the previous two “Shockmasters”, he fell and landed quite awkwardly.


Who was the dumb**** that gave him the idea to do that?!


Well, a man known as John Laurinaitis who works at WCW as an agent told him to...



You mean ****ing Johnny Age?!



Yes Jim, and speaking of Johnny Age, as you refer to him as, would you like to take a glimpse at his home?



No!


Ah, well you're coming with me anyway Jim.


...ENERGIZE...


So this is Johnny Age's mansion?!



Yes, and I think we are in his bedroom...*gasp*...Avert your eyes Jim!



Wait! Who is he ****ing!? Is that my wife?!?



No Jim. The identity of that woman is...



Dark Journey!!! He's ****ing Dark Journey! F*** yourself Johnny Age! Even in a world I wasn't born in, he's ruined my life!


My apologies Jim...but now I must take you to a World Championship Wrestling show.


...ENERGIZE...


What the f***?! WCW still exists?!


Yes Jim. The WCW won the Monday Night Wars and Nitro is currently the top rated wrestling show on Television, although it seems to only receive a rating of 1.2 every week... Now look at the "TurnerTron", they're announcing one of their Hall of Fame inductees.


F***ing Hollywood John Tatum??!?!! He's getting inducted?!


Yes, he was the face of the WCW throughout the 1990's. Because you were never there to discourage him and make him work in your BBQ sauce business, he became a huge star! Especially after he beat Hulk Hogan cleanly at Starrcade 1997. I don't think you would have seen a soul in the street not wearing a feathered boa during the time what they call "The Hollywood era".


That no talent hoss is a top star in rasslin?!?! What the...


I must now take you to our final destination...



...ENERGIZE...



What are we doing at the "White House"? What's Obama got to do with me?!




Nothing Jim! But that's where that's where Michael Cole works as President of the United States?!


What the ****??!



Cole, after his career as a war correspondent, never worked for WWE becuase he went into politics.


So ****ing what! It's common for ***holes to get elected!



That is not the point Jim, look at the woman next to him, that's the first lady...



My Wife!



No. Cole's wife.



Ha! I bet she's ****ing around behind his back!



No. I believe she has had sexual relations with only one man.



??? I've seen enough! What the **** is wrong with this world??!?!



I have told you Jim. This is the world as it exists without you. Now what do think of all that I have showed you?


What do I think?! I think I want to stomp a mud-hole in your a** and walk it dry. But maybe you're right! My life might ****ing suck. But the world sucks much worse without me... Oh, one more thing, what's Bill Watts like here?!


The same... Now, I must return to heaven to receive my wings. I'm leaving now.


...ENERGIZE...


I'm back. You know what nerds. Maybe unlike after Brother Midnight's failed attempt to make me happy. This experience has taught me to learn to appreciate life. 2013 will be the year of....


Hollywood John: Mr Ross.


What?



Hollywood John: Do you hear those bells? I heard that every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.


The **** you talking about?! Bells?!? Are you making fun of my Palsy??! Get back to work you dumb****!


 Hollywood John: But But it's Christmas?...


F*** yourself!!!!


As I was saying...Merry ****ing Christmas, buy my sauce and Go **** yourselves!!!!

JIIIIM!!

To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.