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WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 7: One Down, One To Go! (With Special Guest @angryjr !)
Previously on Total Divas…
Episode 7: “A Leg Up” or “One Down, One to Go!
We start off the show with one of the WWE Talent monkeys calling Eva Marie giving her the good news that out of all the Divas on the WWE & NXT Roster she’s getting a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine. (RD:”Smells like a set-up to me. I mean Eva Marie is just a no-talent rookie a.k.a. a typical WWE Diva & she gets something big as MAXIM?!? I call shenanigans on that!”)
Total Divas Title Entrance of Death
Another day another RAW as The Bellas get mobbed by WWE fans & they brag about ever since they came back to WWE they are doing a lot of great things & go to a lot of big events. (RD:”Or ever since Nikki’s has been banging John Cena. Just sayin’.”)
Over to Cameron’s apartment & boyfriend Vincent wants to go to some red-carpet event that Cameron’s going to but Cameron thinks Vincent has to fill out some legal papers for the Sheriff’s. (RD:”Who knew that men can become starf-ers?!? I mean Cameron’s an idiot that has always looked to be famous now Vincent just wants to be a part of that life! What a poser!?!”) Cameron’s pissed that Vincent wants to go to at the last minute, Vincent plays the “well I want to spend time with you instead of my friends” card, and Cameron tells Vincent that her job at WWE is a busy one. Cameron tells Vincent to go away but he wants the last word.
Over to “The Fortress of Solitude” a.k.a. John Cena’s place where trainers are stretching Cena out to make sure he doesn’t get injured. (RD:”Or also called getting is daily allotment of Yellow Sun radiation.”) Nikki goes over how much abuse pro wrestlers go through on a daily life & she wants to try it out. The trainers work out with Nikki & she gets orgasmic all about it; Cena admits that he’s getting turned on looking at Nikki going through the process. Nikki walks around & whispers in Cena’s ear that “she’s more flexible now.
Over to a restaurant somewhere in Grand Rapids, MI where Natalya, Cameron, & The NXT Divas are having lunch at a restaurant. Eva Marie drops the bomb that she’ll be in MAXIM. Natalya knew that Eva Marie has an “It Factor” while Cameron thinks that Eva Marie’s gunning for her spot. (RD:”Cameron should be concerned. I mean she was the last person to be a part of ‘The Johnny Ace Job Program’ which means she had to give up the ass for it. Eva Marie probably can do a lot more than Cameron. Maybe if Eva Marie can do the ‘Rusty Trombone’?”) JoJo is jealous that Eva Marie is getting this & needs a way to get noticed as well. (RD:”Well JoJo it’s never too late to sleep with Arn Anderson, he bangs a lot of WWE Divas because he’s a lying douche. Or maybe you can do some group bukkake scenes? I mean you are a WWE Un-Diva so certainly you have no ring talent at all!”) All the Diva’s are supporting Eva Marie but it’s pretty obvious they are threatened by her.
Over to The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie caught JoJo practicing “The Star Spangled Banner” & that’s when we find out that JoJo wants to be a singer & she tells Eva Marie that she wants to go up to one of the WWE Talent Monkeys & wants to sing the National Anthem at a RAW. (RD:”A very risky ploy by JoJo since singing ‘The National Anthem’ at a sporting event or something like at a RAW is one of the most difficult things that even professional singers can do.”) JoJo wants to use her singing as a way to get on the RAW/Smackdown rosters but Eva Marie questions JoJo if she wants to be in WWE as a singer or as a wrestling Diva. (RD:”Oh you should talk Miss Double D-Cember contestant! WWE’s history has singers in it becoming somewhat famous. Smackdown announcer Lillian Garcia has used WWE to start her own professional singing career, Rikishi has rapped for WWE in some of their music & lots more. Besides WWE is an ‘ENTERTAINMENT’ company now not a ‘WRESTLING’ company.”)
Over to another restaurant lunch with Natalya, Cameron & The NXT Divas but this time The Bellas decided to join them for lunch. Eva Marie decided to tell The Bellas about her being in MAXIM, The Bellas mention they were in “MAXIM SPAIN” but Nikki also admits she feels threatened by Eva Marie as well. (RD:”Nikki listen to Raging here. YOU’RE F-ING JOHN CENA!!! You are on a Michelle McCool level of protection in WWE & maybe even more so! How are you threatened by a wanna-be model that got noticed in a stupid radio beauty pageant?!?!? I got the person for this segment here. Hey Angry Jim Ross! I know your retired & all but what’s your opinion about Nikki Bella feeling threatened by Eva Marie?”)
Angry Jim Ross: "[phone rings] How ya doin tonight Fake Deal!? Angry Jim's gonna put aside this little feud with you for a minute because I want to rant on this Total Divas show! I never watched this piece of **** even before Vince fired...I mean...when I retired from WWE, but I saw some of it on that invention called YouTube after I accidentally clicked on it while searching for Dark Journey videos! Let me just say what bull**** this "reality" show is! I mean why does Nikki Bella, who is already ****ing Cena: the biggest star in rasslin today, feel threatened by Lisa Marie doing that photo-shoot?! You know how many photo-shoots did that ***** got when Johnny Age was in Talent Relations?! They should have had an episode where Cena is threatened by Johnny Age attempting to **** Nikki behind his back, just like he did my wife! Go **** yourselves! "
(RD:”I hate to say this but…Thank you Jim?”)
Cameron brings up how Vincent wants his family to meet her; The Bellas think that Vincent maybe wants Cameron to marry him. Cameron says that she’s not ready for marriage & thinks its forever. (RD:”Well marriage is a joke now thanks to Kim Kardashain so it’s not forever anymore.”) The Bellas ask if Cameron loves Vincent, Cameron says that she LIKES Vincent but not LIKE-LIKE Vincent. (RD:”?!?”) The Bellas think that Vincent may not be “The One” for Cameron; Nikki brings up that she would do ANYTHING for Cena (RD:”Well yeah of course since if you do anything for Cena that means you have a long & healthy career in WWE.”) while Bree thinks that maybe Cameron’s not ready to get married & maybe she needs to dump Vincent. Natalya thinks Cameron’s too protective, Nikki asks if Cameron can live without Vincent (RD:”Lord knows I can!”), Cameron’s not too sure about that.
We’re a stone’s throw away from WWE Headquarters at Hartford, CT for another RAW & we’re in a Diva’s Tag Team Match involved AJ Lee, The Bellas, The Funkadactyls, Natalya, & Kaitlyn. Another botchtastic match as always for the WWE Divas but thanks to Kaitlyn throwing Bree into Nikki, who was standing outside of the ring, Nikki falls off the ring & lands so bad that she injures her shin. The match goes on & after the match the medical crew brings Nikki backstage. It turns out that Nikki has an old soccer injury with that same shin that she broke it in two parts & had to be put back together by putting an iron rod & 3 screws into her leg! (RD: “OW! But still she gives it up for Cena faster than a fat man for a Twinkie.”) Bree wants Nikki to go see the resident WWE doctor, Nikki doesn’t want to, Bree forces Nikki to see the doctor since WWE has them as a TEAM & they are called “The Bella TWINS!” & if Nikki doesn’t want to see the doctor she’ll tell Cena & the WWE higher-ups about the injury. Nikki doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to give up her spot after The Bellas just returned. Bree gives Nikki the weekend to go to the doctors or else she’s TELLING!
We’re back & in Los Angeles as Eva Marie arrives for her MAXIM photo shoot & she’s ecstatic about the whole process. Eva Marie does her photo shoot for MAXIM (RD:”And it’s comical. Some of her faces for the photos looked like she’s passing gas!”) & the photographers compliment Eva Marie for knowing how to take photos. (RD:”Well Eva Marie does have her own website that’s mostly of her trying to be a model.”)
Back in Tampa when Cena & Nikki are having some coffee at a local coffee house, Cena gets mobbed by a fan so he takes a picture with her with Nikki waiting. Nikki brings up that her shin is hurting, Cena tells Nikki to go see a doctor because he thinks Nikki broke her shin. Cena brings up that Nikki always works on her physical appearance but never her actual body (RD:”Because Nikki wants to get paid that’s why! Keep the Kryptonian happy & she gets money! Everybody knows that!”), Nikki says she doesn’t want to be on the Disabled List & away from WWE. Cena tells Nikki that taking some time off to heal is okay & he’ll be there for support even if it means taking 1-2 years off from WWE; Nikki’s not too thrilled about being off WWE for 1 year to heal (RD:”Nikki your banging John Cena! Michelle McCool came back & left so many times & got so many pushes because she offered the ass for Undertaker. You’ll be fine in your slutty whorish ways.”)
Over to Los Angeles as Cameron & Vincent are spending the day together; Cameron goes to the nail salon to get her nails done. Cameron takes her toy Chihuahua out of her bag & decided the dog needs to get her nails done!
While the nail person (RD:”Is that an actual title for that? I’ve never done it.”) puts nail polish on the dog, Vincent want Cameron to meet her dad. Cameron says she doesn’t even have the time to see Vincent’s dad. Vincent says it is really important for his dad to meet Cameron, Cameron says she’s okay with meeting Vincent’s dad because it’s important to him.
Back to The NXT Diva’s apartment as Eva Marie returns home after the MAXIM photo shoot. Eva Marie describes the experience to JoJo & shows her a photo from the shoot as a souvenir. JoJo’s okay with Eva Marie coming back but Eva Marie didn’t expect JoJo’s lack of joy for her. Eva Marie thinks something is wrong with JoJo & walked away thinking JoJo is jealous of her.
We’re back as Naomi & JoJo are at the gym with Jimmy Uso training. Naomi talks about Eva Marie’s MAXIM photo shoot, JoJo’s thinking about stepping her game up thanks to Eva Marie & talks to Naomi about her singing idea, Naomi thinks it’s a great idea. JoJo brings up wanting to sing The National Anthem, Naomi questions the song choice since The National Anthem is a hard song to sing. Naomi then offer JoJo some help by singing with her, JoJo loves the idea. Naomi suggests that instead of The National Anthem that maybe the both of them sing Brodus Clay’s entrance theme of “Somebody Call My Momma!” & add Cameron to it as well; but Naomi really wants to do this idea so The Funkadactyls get more TV time as well.
We’re at a hospital as Nikki’s going in for a CT scan. After the procedure is done & the doctors send it to WWE; The Bellas leave & Nikki’s concerned about missing Summerslam, Bree thinks the nagging injury could be serious, Nikki wants to ignore it. Bree’s concerned because if Nikki goes on the Disabled List it would also means she’s gone from WWE TV as well & Nikki’s not thinking about that.
Over to Eva Marie & Natalya driving somewhere in Natalya's car. Natalya complains about not having any time at all since she has to plan a wedding now. Natalya discusses that at times she needs to be away from Tyson Kidd just to get a breather & she can’t comprehend being around JoJo a lot. Eva Marie says that she does everything with JoJo & she complains about JoJo’s living habits. Natalya says that JoJo should be more concerned with learning Pro Wrestling Basics 101 than trying to form a band with The Funkadactyls! (RD:”Does Natalya know what company she’s in? This is WWE & their Divas! All they know is ONE MOVE & THEY SCREW THAT MOVE REALLY BAD! The rest of the time they screw up horribly!”) Natalya then slams the un-talented Divas that don’t make it as “glorified Hooter girls” which Eva Marie admitted that at one time she did work at Hooters. (RD:”So that explains a few things! Hooter Girls are the start of being porn stars! Not kidding. I know strippers that want to be Hooter Girls because they don’t want to be naked. The path to being a porn start like this; You got Hooter Girl, then topless dancer, then full-blown naked stripper, then pose for adult magazines like SCORE or Hustler, then Porn! This is science!”)
Naomi & JoJo arrive at a recording studio where Naomi has an idea to create a sample track of JoJo’s idea with The Funkadactyls & send the track over to Head WWE Talent Monkey Jane Geddes hoping she would like it. Naomi used her dad’s connection in the music industry to get the recording studio & help they need to record the track. With Naomi’s dad’s help they manage to harmonize & create the track they needed.
Back to Los Angeles as it’s time for Cameron to meet Vincent’s dad! Turns out that Vincent’s Armenian & his dad’s showing Cameron actual Armenian brad & talks about the wedding that Vincent & Cameron will have, of course Cameron is shocked about the wedding talk. Vincent’s dad doesn’t like Cameron’s WWE career (RD:”Good! Neither do I!”) & wants her to quit so she can birth babies for Vincent. Cameron’s speechless & in the bad way. Cameron says she’s not ready to have kids, Vincent’s dad is not happy with Vincent not having a big wedding or having any responsibilities at all.
Back at The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie brings up the whole JoJo’s jealous thing again. JoJo gets a call from WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane Geddes, she got the music track & she loves it & she wants to find a way to have JoJo & The Funkadactyls actually perform the song.
Back to Cameron & Vincent as they are having another day out; Vincent has a big surprise for Cameron & that surprise is…An Engagement Ring! Cameron’s not too thrilled about that. Cameron storms out of the jewelry shop, Vincent follows, Cameron tells Vincent she’s not ready to get married & tells Vincent that they need a break. Vincent understands as they hug & tells Cameron that he’ll give her the break she needs & will still be there for her when she’s ready.
Back at the arena for another RAW as The Bellas go see the head WWE doctor & it looks like Nikki broke her shin. Doctor tells Nikki she needs to be away from WWE for 3 months to heal & she can’t be in the ring, Bree asks if Nikki can escort her, doctor says Nikki can’t get physical at all. The Bellas got to tell the WWE Talent Monkeys to say that Nikki’s now on the DL. Meanwhile The Funkadactyls & JoJo practice for their big song tonight. Cameron practices her booty shaking just as THAT moment that Vinnie Mac a.k.a. WWE Chairman & CEO Vincent K. McMahon walks by them. Vinnie Mac is expecting their performance tonight. Unfortunately it gives Naomi a bad case of the nerves which turns out to be a bad chest cold.
The crowd is filling up the arena, JoJo’s nervous for her big break, Naomi is nervous she’ll screw up due to her chest cold, Eva Marie’s saying that this is live so JoJo can’t screw up, Bree says this is JoJo’s one chance. Luckily it turns out that The Funkadactyls & JoJo will be performing on “WWE’s Main Event”. The Funkadactyls come out & they start to perform. Cameron’s overhyping the performance; Naomi & JoJo are WAY OFF pitch that the fans are grabbing their ears in pain! Eva Marie thinks its karma for JoJo not supporting her! (RD:”Hey Eva Marie! Go **** yourself! Not everybody in the whole damn world has to support you. You could have supported JoJo even though she wasn’t too thrilled like a friend should have but now we see what you really are & that’s a giant ass whore like The Bellas. I expect you to be "AIRTIGHT!" supported by The Shield damn near soon!”) WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane was not too thrilled to see that. After the performance Eva Marie with a big shit-eating grin & Bree turn around to see The Funkadactyls & JoJo come backstage. Naomi thought their performance was mediocre, Cameron thought it was a partial train wreck (RD:”And if anybody that knows train wrecks it would be Cameron because she causes a lot of them in the ring.”), JoJo thinks she screwed up big time!
The Bellas meet WWE Talent Monkey Mark. Mark has news for The Bellas. “The Brain trust” that is WWE Creative think Nikki on crutches is not good for the WWE Diva “BRAND” & Nikki’s officially on the DL recovering from home. Nikki thinks her wrestling career is done.
End Of Show
One down! One to go! By the way did you know that Eva Marie had a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine? I think they barely mentioned it.
Episode 7: “A Leg Up” or “One Down, One to Go!
We start off the show with one of the WWE Talent monkeys calling Eva Marie giving her the good news that out of all the Divas on the WWE & NXT Roster she’s getting a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine. (RD:”Smells like a set-up to me. I mean Eva Marie is just a no-talent rookie a.k.a. a typical WWE Diva & she gets something big as MAXIM?!? I call shenanigans on that!”)
Total Divas Title Entrance of Death
Another day another RAW as The Bellas get mobbed by WWE fans & they brag about ever since they came back to WWE they are doing a lot of great things & go to a lot of big events. (RD:”Or ever since Nikki’s has been banging John Cena. Just sayin’.”)
Over to Cameron’s apartment & boyfriend Vincent wants to go to some red-carpet event that Cameron’s going to but Cameron thinks Vincent has to fill out some legal papers for the Sheriff’s. (RD:”Who knew that men can become starf-ers?!? I mean Cameron’s an idiot that has always looked to be famous now Vincent just wants to be a part of that life! What a poser!?!”) Cameron’s pissed that Vincent wants to go to at the last minute, Vincent plays the “well I want to spend time with you instead of my friends” card, and Cameron tells Vincent that her job at WWE is a busy one. Cameron tells Vincent to go away but he wants the last word.
Over to “The Fortress of Solitude” a.k.a. John Cena’s place where trainers are stretching Cena out to make sure he doesn’t get injured. (RD:”Or also called getting is daily allotment of Yellow Sun radiation.”) Nikki goes over how much abuse pro wrestlers go through on a daily life & she wants to try it out. The trainers work out with Nikki & she gets orgasmic all about it; Cena admits that he’s getting turned on looking at Nikki going through the process. Nikki walks around & whispers in Cena’s ear that “she’s more flexible now.
Over to a restaurant somewhere in Grand Rapids, MI where Natalya, Cameron, & The NXT Divas are having lunch at a restaurant. Eva Marie drops the bomb that she’ll be in MAXIM. Natalya knew that Eva Marie has an “It Factor” while Cameron thinks that Eva Marie’s gunning for her spot. (RD:”Cameron should be concerned. I mean she was the last person to be a part of ‘The Johnny Ace Job Program’ which means she had to give up the ass for it. Eva Marie probably can do a lot more than Cameron. Maybe if Eva Marie can do the ‘Rusty Trombone’?”) JoJo is jealous that Eva Marie is getting this & needs a way to get noticed as well. (RD:”Well JoJo it’s never too late to sleep with Arn Anderson, he bangs a lot of WWE Divas because he’s a lying douche. Or maybe you can do some group bukkake scenes? I mean you are a WWE Un-Diva so certainly you have no ring talent at all!”) All the Diva’s are supporting Eva Marie but it’s pretty obvious they are threatened by her.
Over to The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie caught JoJo practicing “The Star Spangled Banner” & that’s when we find out that JoJo wants to be a singer & she tells Eva Marie that she wants to go up to one of the WWE Talent Monkeys & wants to sing the National Anthem at a RAW. (RD:”A very risky ploy by JoJo since singing ‘The National Anthem’ at a sporting event or something like at a RAW is one of the most difficult things that even professional singers can do.”) JoJo wants to use her singing as a way to get on the RAW/Smackdown rosters but Eva Marie questions JoJo if she wants to be in WWE as a singer or as a wrestling Diva. (RD:”Oh you should talk Miss Double D-Cember contestant! WWE’s history has singers in it becoming somewhat famous. Smackdown announcer Lillian Garcia has used WWE to start her own professional singing career, Rikishi has rapped for WWE in some of their music & lots more. Besides WWE is an ‘ENTERTAINMENT’ company now not a ‘WRESTLING’ company.”)
Over to another restaurant lunch with Natalya, Cameron & The NXT Divas but this time The Bellas decided to join them for lunch. Eva Marie decided to tell The Bellas about her being in MAXIM, The Bellas mention they were in “MAXIM SPAIN” but Nikki also admits she feels threatened by Eva Marie as well. (RD:”Nikki listen to Raging here. YOU’RE F-ING JOHN CENA!!! You are on a Michelle McCool level of protection in WWE & maybe even more so! How are you threatened by a wanna-be model that got noticed in a stupid radio beauty pageant?!?!? I got the person for this segment here. Hey Angry Jim Ross! I know your retired & all but what’s your opinion about Nikki Bella feeling threatened by Eva Marie?”)
Angry Jim Ross: "[phone rings] How ya doin tonight Fake Deal!? Angry Jim's gonna put aside this little feud with you for a minute because I want to rant on this Total Divas show! I never watched this piece of **** even before Vince fired...I mean...when I retired from WWE, but I saw some of it on that invention called YouTube after I accidentally clicked on it while searching for Dark Journey videos! Let me just say what bull**** this "reality" show is! I mean why does Nikki Bella, who is already ****ing Cena: the biggest star in rasslin today, feel threatened by Lisa Marie doing that photo-shoot?! You know how many photo-shoots did that ***** got when Johnny Age was in Talent Relations?! They should have had an episode where Cena is threatened by Johnny Age attempting to **** Nikki behind his back, just like he did my wife! Go **** yourselves! "
(RD:”I hate to say this but…Thank you Jim?”)
Cameron brings up how Vincent wants his family to meet her; The Bellas think that Vincent maybe wants Cameron to marry him. Cameron says that she’s not ready for marriage & thinks its forever. (RD:”Well marriage is a joke now thanks to Kim Kardashain so it’s not forever anymore.”) The Bellas ask if Cameron loves Vincent, Cameron says that she LIKES Vincent but not LIKE-LIKE Vincent. (RD:”?!?”) The Bellas think that Vincent may not be “The One” for Cameron; Nikki brings up that she would do ANYTHING for Cena (RD:”Well yeah of course since if you do anything for Cena that means you have a long & healthy career in WWE.”) while Bree thinks that maybe Cameron’s not ready to get married & maybe she needs to dump Vincent. Natalya thinks Cameron’s too protective, Nikki asks if Cameron can live without Vincent (RD:”Lord knows I can!”), Cameron’s not too sure about that.
We’re a stone’s throw away from WWE Headquarters at Hartford, CT for another RAW & we’re in a Diva’s Tag Team Match involved AJ Lee, The Bellas, The Funkadactyls, Natalya, & Kaitlyn. Another botchtastic match as always for the WWE Divas but thanks to Kaitlyn throwing Bree into Nikki, who was standing outside of the ring, Nikki falls off the ring & lands so bad that she injures her shin. The match goes on & after the match the medical crew brings Nikki backstage. It turns out that Nikki has an old soccer injury with that same shin that she broke it in two parts & had to be put back together by putting an iron rod & 3 screws into her leg! (RD: “OW! But still she gives it up for Cena faster than a fat man for a Twinkie.”) Bree wants Nikki to go see the resident WWE doctor, Nikki doesn’t want to, Bree forces Nikki to see the doctor since WWE has them as a TEAM & they are called “The Bella TWINS!” & if Nikki doesn’t want to see the doctor she’ll tell Cena & the WWE higher-ups about the injury. Nikki doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to give up her spot after The Bellas just returned. Bree gives Nikki the weekend to go to the doctors or else she’s TELLING!
We’re back & in Los Angeles as Eva Marie arrives for her MAXIM photo shoot & she’s ecstatic about the whole process. Eva Marie does her photo shoot for MAXIM (RD:”And it’s comical. Some of her faces for the photos looked like she’s passing gas!”) & the photographers compliment Eva Marie for knowing how to take photos. (RD:”Well Eva Marie does have her own website that’s mostly of her trying to be a model.”)
Back in Tampa when Cena & Nikki are having some coffee at a local coffee house, Cena gets mobbed by a fan so he takes a picture with her with Nikki waiting. Nikki brings up that her shin is hurting, Cena tells Nikki to go see a doctor because he thinks Nikki broke her shin. Cena brings up that Nikki always works on her physical appearance but never her actual body (RD:”Because Nikki wants to get paid that’s why! Keep the Kryptonian happy & she gets money! Everybody knows that!”), Nikki says she doesn’t want to be on the Disabled List & away from WWE. Cena tells Nikki that taking some time off to heal is okay & he’ll be there for support even if it means taking 1-2 years off from WWE; Nikki’s not too thrilled about being off WWE for 1 year to heal (RD:”Nikki your banging John Cena! Michelle McCool came back & left so many times & got so many pushes because she offered the ass for Undertaker. You’ll be fine in your slutty whorish ways.”)
Over to Los Angeles as Cameron & Vincent are spending the day together; Cameron goes to the nail salon to get her nails done. Cameron takes her toy Chihuahua out of her bag & decided the dog needs to get her nails done!
While the nail person (RD:”Is that an actual title for that? I’ve never done it.”) puts nail polish on the dog, Vincent want Cameron to meet her dad. Cameron says she doesn’t even have the time to see Vincent’s dad. Vincent says it is really important for his dad to meet Cameron, Cameron says she’s okay with meeting Vincent’s dad because it’s important to him.
Back to The NXT Diva’s apartment as Eva Marie returns home after the MAXIM photo shoot. Eva Marie describes the experience to JoJo & shows her a photo from the shoot as a souvenir. JoJo’s okay with Eva Marie coming back but Eva Marie didn’t expect JoJo’s lack of joy for her. Eva Marie thinks something is wrong with JoJo & walked away thinking JoJo is jealous of her.
We’re back as Naomi & JoJo are at the gym with Jimmy Uso training. Naomi talks about Eva Marie’s MAXIM photo shoot, JoJo’s thinking about stepping her game up thanks to Eva Marie & talks to Naomi about her singing idea, Naomi thinks it’s a great idea. JoJo brings up wanting to sing The National Anthem, Naomi questions the song choice since The National Anthem is a hard song to sing. Naomi then offer JoJo some help by singing with her, JoJo loves the idea. Naomi suggests that instead of The National Anthem that maybe the both of them sing Brodus Clay’s entrance theme of “Somebody Call My Momma!” & add Cameron to it as well; but Naomi really wants to do this idea so The Funkadactyls get more TV time as well.
We’re at a hospital as Nikki’s going in for a CT scan. After the procedure is done & the doctors send it to WWE; The Bellas leave & Nikki’s concerned about missing Summerslam, Bree thinks the nagging injury could be serious, Nikki wants to ignore it. Bree’s concerned because if Nikki goes on the Disabled List it would also means she’s gone from WWE TV as well & Nikki’s not thinking about that.
Over to Eva Marie & Natalya driving somewhere in Natalya's car. Natalya complains about not having any time at all since she has to plan a wedding now. Natalya discusses that at times she needs to be away from Tyson Kidd just to get a breather & she can’t comprehend being around JoJo a lot. Eva Marie says that she does everything with JoJo & she complains about JoJo’s living habits. Natalya says that JoJo should be more concerned with learning Pro Wrestling Basics 101 than trying to form a band with The Funkadactyls! (RD:”Does Natalya know what company she’s in? This is WWE & their Divas! All they know is ONE MOVE & THEY SCREW THAT MOVE REALLY BAD! The rest of the time they screw up horribly!”) Natalya then slams the un-talented Divas that don’t make it as “glorified Hooter girls” which Eva Marie admitted that at one time she did work at Hooters. (RD:”So that explains a few things! Hooter Girls are the start of being porn stars! Not kidding. I know strippers that want to be Hooter Girls because they don’t want to be naked. The path to being a porn start like this; You got Hooter Girl, then topless dancer, then full-blown naked stripper, then pose for adult magazines like SCORE or Hustler, then Porn! This is science!”)
Naomi & JoJo arrive at a recording studio where Naomi has an idea to create a sample track of JoJo’s idea with The Funkadactyls & send the track over to Head WWE Talent Monkey Jane Geddes hoping she would like it. Naomi used her dad’s connection in the music industry to get the recording studio & help they need to record the track. With Naomi’s dad’s help they manage to harmonize & create the track they needed.
Back to Los Angeles as it’s time for Cameron to meet Vincent’s dad! Turns out that Vincent’s Armenian & his dad’s showing Cameron actual Armenian brad & talks about the wedding that Vincent & Cameron will have, of course Cameron is shocked about the wedding talk. Vincent’s dad doesn’t like Cameron’s WWE career (RD:”Good! Neither do I!”) & wants her to quit so she can birth babies for Vincent. Cameron’s speechless & in the bad way. Cameron says she’s not ready to have kids, Vincent’s dad is not happy with Vincent not having a big wedding or having any responsibilities at all.
Back at The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie brings up the whole JoJo’s jealous thing again. JoJo gets a call from WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane Geddes, she got the music track & she loves it & she wants to find a way to have JoJo & The Funkadactyls actually perform the song.
Back to Cameron & Vincent as they are having another day out; Vincent has a big surprise for Cameron & that surprise is…An Engagement Ring! Cameron’s not too thrilled about that. Cameron storms out of the jewelry shop, Vincent follows, Cameron tells Vincent she’s not ready to get married & tells Vincent that they need a break. Vincent understands as they hug & tells Cameron that he’ll give her the break she needs & will still be there for her when she’s ready.
Back at the arena for another RAW as The Bellas go see the head WWE doctor & it looks like Nikki broke her shin. Doctor tells Nikki she needs to be away from WWE for 3 months to heal & she can’t be in the ring, Bree asks if Nikki can escort her, doctor says Nikki can’t get physical at all. The Bellas got to tell the WWE Talent Monkeys to say that Nikki’s now on the DL. Meanwhile The Funkadactyls & JoJo practice for their big song tonight. Cameron practices her booty shaking just as THAT moment that Vinnie Mac a.k.a. WWE Chairman & CEO Vincent K. McMahon walks by them. Vinnie Mac is expecting their performance tonight. Unfortunately it gives Naomi a bad case of the nerves which turns out to be a bad chest cold.
The crowd is filling up the arena, JoJo’s nervous for her big break, Naomi is nervous she’ll screw up due to her chest cold, Eva Marie’s saying that this is live so JoJo can’t screw up, Bree says this is JoJo’s one chance. Luckily it turns out that The Funkadactyls & JoJo will be performing on “WWE’s Main Event”. The Funkadactyls come out & they start to perform. Cameron’s overhyping the performance; Naomi & JoJo are WAY OFF pitch that the fans are grabbing their ears in pain! Eva Marie thinks its karma for JoJo not supporting her! (RD:”Hey Eva Marie! Go **** yourself! Not everybody in the whole damn world has to support you. You could have supported JoJo even though she wasn’t too thrilled like a friend should have but now we see what you really are & that’s a giant ass whore like The Bellas. I expect you to be "AIRTIGHT!" supported by The Shield damn near soon!”) WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane was not too thrilled to see that. After the performance Eva Marie with a big shit-eating grin & Bree turn around to see The Funkadactyls & JoJo come backstage. Naomi thought their performance was mediocre, Cameron thought it was a partial train wreck (RD:”And if anybody that knows train wrecks it would be Cameron because she causes a lot of them in the ring.”), JoJo thinks she screwed up big time!
The Bellas meet WWE Talent Monkey Mark. Mark has news for The Bellas. “The Brain trust” that is WWE Creative think Nikki on crutches is not good for the WWE Diva “BRAND” & Nikki’s officially on the DL recovering from home. Nikki thinks her wrestling career is done.
End Of Show
One down! One to go! By the way did you know that Eva Marie had a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine? I think they barely mentioned it.
WCR Video: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Mickie James
Sad news: Since Mickie James has apparently parted ways with TNA Wrestling, we at wrestlecrapradio.com thought we should revisit this clip of Blade Braxton singing a tribute to "The Centaur" from the time she was released from WWE back in 2010 (from episode #173):
(Video by wcrminisodes)
Be sure to visit here for the archives (& here for more WCR music).
(Video by wcrminisodes)
Be sure to visit here for the archives (& here for more WCR music).
WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 6: Ballad of Horny Natalya & Party Girl Bree
Previously on Total Divas…(RD:"Wait! You mean there were more episodes of this crap!?! DAMN! DAMN DAMN!")
Episode 6: “Diva Las Vegas” or “The Ballad of Horny Natalya & Party Girl Bree”
We start the show with JoJo drooling over Justin Gabriel with Eva Marie watching. (RD:“I know we men can get horny but so far watching this god awful show who knew that WWE Divas are really super horny?!?”) Chris Jericho (RD:”?!?”) walks by & JoJo’s trying to get information from Jericho about Justin’s relationship status, Jericho knows what JoJo’s doing which makes her run away from being shy.
Total Divas Title Entrance of Death
Another day & another Raw happens; Bree’s boyfriend Daniel Bryan gives her a quick smooch backstage while we look at JoJo & Justin Gabriel flirting with each other. Eva Marie is cautious with JoJo due to her recent breakup. They both watch Justin Gabriel wrestle in his match tonight & Eva Marie notices how Gabriel’s wresting trunks are a WEE bit snug around his crotch. The NXT Divas discuss whether they should invite Gabriel over to their “apartment warming” party but then get scared out of their panties by WWE Creative member Michael “P.S.” Hayes. (RD:”Heh.”)
Over to the NXT Training Area, where The Bellas are teaching The Funkadactyls how to wrestle. (RD:” Isn’t The Bellas teaching The Funkadactlys how to wrestle is somewhat equal to a blind driving instructor teaching his students how to drive?”) Natalya arrives & soon afterwards she steps in the ring to talk about the stress she’s dealing with recently when it comes to planning a wedding, Nikki instead wants to plan the Bachelorette Party. Natalya brings up Jaret (RD:”The poser from the previous episode who owns his own tanning shop that has a DEEP crush on Natalya.”) & his crush on her & wanting to invite him to the wedding since he’s a family friend. Bree thinks that’s a disaster waiting to happen, Naomi thinks Natalya’s reacting to Jaret giving her more attention than fiancé Tyson Kidd, & Nikki wants to talk about the Bachelorette Party. Nikki wants to show Natalya a new move she wants to use which consists of, for this example, using Naomi as a victim; Nikki places the victim on the middle rope, then Nikki drops the leg, & tries to bridge the victim but unfortunately she BOTCHES her OWN MOVE & hurts Naomi! (RD:” Even when they practice their OWN moves The Bellas botch! Why am I not surprised by this?!?”)
Over to The NXT Diva’s new apartment while they are getting ready for their “apartment warming” party & the cast arrive with Naomi bringing fiancé Jimmy Uso & Natalya bringing Tyson along. The Bellas tease The NXT Divas for having cheap wine & cheap wine glasses while The NXT Divas say neither of them drinks. Nikki tells our cast that Bree’s a goer when she gets drunk. Gabriel & Cameron arrive for the party while Natalya tells Nikki about Jaret sending her a text, Nikki mentions that Jaret wants to bang Natalya. Natalya brings up that Tyson was been the only man that she has ever had sex with in her life. The party continues & Cameron brings up her fondness for older men. JoJo decides to take Gabriel to the outside patio & they make out with everybody watching them.
We’re back & just in time to catch JoJo & Gabriel having a lunch date. Gabriel ribs on JoJo how she’s underage & can’t drink. During the date JoJo offers to show Gabriel pics of her pet rabbit. (RD:”Uh…)
Over to Tampa, FL where Nikki & boyfriend John Cena are shopping for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party gift. Nikki brings up how it’s weird that Natalya only had any sexual contact with Tyson, Cena think that’s ok. (RD:”I Have to agree with The Kryptonian. Men want women that are inexperienced for the sheer reason that if we completely screw up in the bedroom then she won’t notice!”) Nikki says that what Natalya has with Tyson is beautiful but also mentions that if her family would be shocked if SHE HAD a similar relationship. (RD:”So Nikki admits to being a whore eh?”) Nikki tries to change a subject that she’s not a whore & tries miserably to get Cena’s advice for Natalya’s present.
Over to Cameron’s apartment where she’s packing for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party but boyfriend Vincent is concerned about what “fun” she’ll get into. Cameron says that she needs a break since she’s been working so hard. (RD:”Is that what you do? Work? Silly me Cameron I thought what you do is just bounce around & look like an idiot.”) Vincent wants to invite himself to the Bachelorette Party (RD:”?!?”) but Cameron says it’s mostly going to have people from WWE & she & Eva Marie can’t bring their boyfriends to the party because they are “not in the business. Vincent is trying to get himself invited by saying that Cameron doesn’t spend time with him, Cameron just ends the fight by saying that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
VIVA LAS VEGAS! The cast & some of the WWE wrestlers take a party bus to the hotel suite. JoJo screws around with a stripper pole in the shower; Daniel opens the bottle of champagne with Curt Hawkins & Jey Uso watching. (RD:”That quick 5 seconds of Curt Hawkins on this show is probably the most screen time he’ll ever spend on WWE this year!”) The Bellas decorate Natalya with Bachelorette stuff & pack her with condoms. (RD:”Really?!? Tyson Kidd is in the same room & you are going to do that! And people call me tasteless at times.”) Cameron wants to see Bree in party mode but Bree doesn’t want to do it in front of Daniel. Nikki ends this party with a cheer that only Blade Braxton would love.
The cast decide to have a little pool party & what a better way to have one by having all the Divas poses in a photo shoot! (RD:”I wish that was a joke but that actually happened.”) After the photo shoot Bree & Daniel are making out & Jimmy gets all flirtatious with Naomi. Nikki & Natalya are talking when Natalya gets texts from Jaret which sounds pretty flirtatious to Nikki but Natalya thinks they are nothing. Natalya didn’t know thanks to Nikki that she’s accidentally misleading the poor guy thinking he actually has a shot with her.
The pool party continues in Las Vegas & JoJo is ready to have some fun…That is until she sees Gabriel flirting with another girl. Eva Marie thinks JoJo is a rebound girl, JoJo says that she’s not a rebound girl. (RD:”How can JoJo know this when she had only one relationship?!?”) JoJo’s confident that Gabriel wants her.
The party continues back in the hotel suite as drinking games ensue for Natalya. Drinking happens, Kidd gives out a cheer, & Nikki gets slutty again by taking Natalya to the “Chippendale’s” show. The cast are enjoying the show mostly seeing half-naked men dance around. (RD:”And women think we’re awful for going to strip clubs yet women will pay money to see topless guy simulating a sex act?!? Nothing says fun than muscular men putting a pole near their crotch & jerking it off! By the way boss I want hazard pay after this episode!”) The Chippendale dancers take Natalya on stage & basically hog tie her & flash their junk at her. (RD:”After this episode I don’t want any women to yell at us anymore about strip clubs after this episode!”)
While most of the cast continue the party at one of the hotel’s night clubs the NXT Divas is basically bored since JoJo is under age & Eva Marie doesn’t drink. The NXT Divas walk around until they run into Gabriel having a date with another girl. JoJo is just pissed & walks off.
Back as The NXT Divas see Gabriel’s date with another girl. The NXT Divas walk out of the hotel just in time to catch Gabriel leave with the girl in a taxi cab. JoJo says that she is “DONE” with Justin Gabriel & she is shocked that he would do that. (RD:”Well I’m shocked that after ONE DATE JoJo thought Justin Gabriel was hers! It’s ONE FREAKING DATE! I mean come on! As Angry Jim Ross would say ‘Go F**k Yourself JoJo!’ “) Eva Marie told JoJo not to go after Gabriel & now she’s heartbroken. (RD:”You should talk you hypocritical whore! So far you admitted that you wanted to bang Fandango AND Roman Reigns!“)
We go back to the party as the cast continue & Bree enters “party mode”! The Divas dance normally & sexually. The Bellas & Cameron table dance (RD:”They table dance as if they know how to do it well. I’m not saying anything on that.”) & we get a shot of Cameron’s vagina. (RD:”That’s Not Divalicious Cameron! That’s Stripalicious!”) Nikki commits a party foul when she falls to the floor. The cast take the party back to the hotel room when Natalya admits that she can’t get Jaret out of her mind. Bree’s pissed but Natalya admits that she loves Kidd but maybe she’s not ready to get married. Bree & Natalya have some private time when Natalya admits she’s getting cold feet, Bree says that Jaret’s making Natalya feel special again.
We’re back & after Natalya & Bree’s little private talk Bree’s heading back to her hotel room but she’s still drunk & in “party mode”. Bree drunkenly stumbles to her hotel room but she can’t open the door so she knocks hoping Daniel would let her in. Daniel groggily lets Bree in but Bree’s acting horny after an exposed vagina shot. (RD:”WWE is supposed to be PG but in this ONE EPISODE we have guys flashing their junk to Natalya & not one but TWO times WWE Divas flashed their crotches!”) Bree then takes out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs & puts them on Daniel.
It’s the next day & Bree’s having a huge hangover & has to admit to Daniel that she was drinking & partying all night, Daniel admits that he knows but is all right since they are in Vegas. The night falls & the cast are having a dinner out with IRONICALLY enough JoJo sitting next to Gabriel (RD:”It’s as if it looks like it was, gasp, could it be that it was STAGED?!?”). Natalya thanks everybody for being with them. Gabriel takes JoJo away to talk to her about what’s going on with her, JoJo’s wondering what’s going on, Gabriel basically says “It’s not you it’s me” & blames it on her age. JoJo walks off emotionally hurt.
We’re back in Vegas as The Bellas are preparing for a new day when Bree accidentally discovers Nikki’s vibrator. Hilarity ensues with the Bellas & the vibrator.
Ron Burgundy: “You stay classy Bella Twins.”
Naomi arrives & Cameron’s hotel room & her bathroom is very impressive. Cameron gives Naomi the unexpected surprise that her boyfriend Vincent is actually coming to Vegas to see her. (RD:” Wasn’t Vincent told that he wasn’t allowed to be there?”) Naomi fears the chaos that’ll happen when Vincent shows up & speak of the devil there’s a knock on the door & Vincent arrives! Vincent is just very excited to be here as he bounces around the room like a kindergartner drinking a soda.
The cast & Vincent arrive at a restaurant to finish off Natalya’s very long Bachelorette Party. Bree gives one long toast that comes from her heart wile Nikki goes slutty with her toast. Natalya gets a male g-string cake for her to eat. Vincent goes mental when Cameron tries to touch the cake’s “wiener”. The server brings in giant balls of cotton candy as an appetizer while Vincent grabs a long piece of cotton candy & tries to be goofy with it near Cameron.
Vincent tries to go “Lady & The Tramp” with a piece of cotton candy at Cameron while everybody in the room is looking very embarrassed that Vincent is there. Vincent’s antics continue until he spills his drink on himself.
The cast arrive at a major club called “ghost bar” & of course they are partying & dancing all over the place. Natalya & Kidd say that they love each other while Vincent gets drunk out of his mind! Cameron says that when Vincent gets really drunk he goes really nuts! Vincent wants to drink himself to death but Cameron’s trying to sober him up. Drunk Vincent is talking to Natalya (RD:”OH GOOD! That’s what we need around here, more stupidity!”) apologizing for actually being there. Now Drunk Vincent is going over to Jimmy saying that he’ll back him up anytime. (RD: “Jimmy Uso has a person like that & it’s called his brother Jey!”) Cameron finds Vincent & goes mental that Vincent spilled a drink on her dress, Drunk Vincent of course denies this. Now a fight is breaking out between Cameron & Drunk Vincent. The fight goes on for while until Cameron is pissed & orders Vincent that they are leaving. While the cast are continuing to part Cameron takes a Drunk & now PISSED Vincent out because Cameron is going to be embarrassed by him! Now Vincent is doing the “walk the line” drunk test & Cameron storms back to her hotel room. In the end Natalya is happy about having the Bachelorette Party & she has no more cold feet wedding jitters.
End of Show
And RVM Kai wonders how I could handle this damn show?!?
Episode 6: “Diva Las Vegas” or “The Ballad of Horny Natalya & Party Girl Bree”
We start the show with JoJo drooling over Justin Gabriel with Eva Marie watching. (RD:“I know we men can get horny but so far watching this god awful show who knew that WWE Divas are really super horny?!?”) Chris Jericho (RD:”?!?”) walks by & JoJo’s trying to get information from Jericho about Justin’s relationship status, Jericho knows what JoJo’s doing which makes her run away from being shy.
Total Divas Title Entrance of Death
Another day & another Raw happens; Bree’s boyfriend Daniel Bryan gives her a quick smooch backstage while we look at JoJo & Justin Gabriel flirting with each other. Eva Marie is cautious with JoJo due to her recent breakup. They both watch Justin Gabriel wrestle in his match tonight & Eva Marie notices how Gabriel’s wresting trunks are a WEE bit snug around his crotch. The NXT Divas discuss whether they should invite Gabriel over to their “apartment warming” party but then get scared out of their panties by WWE Creative member Michael “P.S.” Hayes. (RD:”Heh.”)
Over to the NXT Training Area, where The Bellas are teaching The Funkadactyls how to wrestle. (RD:” Isn’t The Bellas teaching The Funkadactlys how to wrestle is somewhat equal to a blind driving instructor teaching his students how to drive?”) Natalya arrives & soon afterwards she steps in the ring to talk about the stress she’s dealing with recently when it comes to planning a wedding, Nikki instead wants to plan the Bachelorette Party. Natalya brings up Jaret (RD:”The poser from the previous episode who owns his own tanning shop that has a DEEP crush on Natalya.”) & his crush on her & wanting to invite him to the wedding since he’s a family friend. Bree thinks that’s a disaster waiting to happen, Naomi thinks Natalya’s reacting to Jaret giving her more attention than fiancé Tyson Kidd, & Nikki wants to talk about the Bachelorette Party. Nikki wants to show Natalya a new move she wants to use which consists of, for this example, using Naomi as a victim; Nikki places the victim on the middle rope, then Nikki drops the leg, & tries to bridge the victim but unfortunately she BOTCHES her OWN MOVE & hurts Naomi! (RD:” Even when they practice their OWN moves The Bellas botch! Why am I not surprised by this?!?”)
Over to The NXT Diva’s new apartment while they are getting ready for their “apartment warming” party & the cast arrive with Naomi bringing fiancé Jimmy Uso & Natalya bringing Tyson along. The Bellas tease The NXT Divas for having cheap wine & cheap wine glasses while The NXT Divas say neither of them drinks. Nikki tells our cast that Bree’s a goer when she gets drunk. Gabriel & Cameron arrive for the party while Natalya tells Nikki about Jaret sending her a text, Nikki mentions that Jaret wants to bang Natalya. Natalya brings up that Tyson was been the only man that she has ever had sex with in her life. The party continues & Cameron brings up her fondness for older men. JoJo decides to take Gabriel to the outside patio & they make out with everybody watching them.
We’re back & just in time to catch JoJo & Gabriel having a lunch date. Gabriel ribs on JoJo how she’s underage & can’t drink. During the date JoJo offers to show Gabriel pics of her pet rabbit. (RD:”Uh…)
Over to Tampa, FL where Nikki & boyfriend John Cena are shopping for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party gift. Nikki brings up how it’s weird that Natalya only had any sexual contact with Tyson, Cena think that’s ok. (RD:”I Have to agree with The Kryptonian. Men want women that are inexperienced for the sheer reason that if we completely screw up in the bedroom then she won’t notice!”) Nikki says that what Natalya has with Tyson is beautiful but also mentions that if her family would be shocked if SHE HAD a similar relationship. (RD:”So Nikki admits to being a whore eh?”) Nikki tries to change a subject that she’s not a whore & tries miserably to get Cena’s advice for Natalya’s present.
Over to Cameron’s apartment where she’s packing for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party but boyfriend Vincent is concerned about what “fun” she’ll get into. Cameron says that she needs a break since she’s been working so hard. (RD:”Is that what you do? Work? Silly me Cameron I thought what you do is just bounce around & look like an idiot.”) Vincent wants to invite himself to the Bachelorette Party (RD:”?!?”) but Cameron says it’s mostly going to have people from WWE & she & Eva Marie can’t bring their boyfriends to the party because they are “not in the business. Vincent is trying to get himself invited by saying that Cameron doesn’t spend time with him, Cameron just ends the fight by saying that she doesn’t want to talk about it.
VIVA LAS VEGAS! The cast & some of the WWE wrestlers take a party bus to the hotel suite. JoJo screws around with a stripper pole in the shower; Daniel opens the bottle of champagne with Curt Hawkins & Jey Uso watching. (RD:”That quick 5 seconds of Curt Hawkins on this show is probably the most screen time he’ll ever spend on WWE this year!”) The Bellas decorate Natalya with Bachelorette stuff & pack her with condoms. (RD:”Really?!? Tyson Kidd is in the same room & you are going to do that! And people call me tasteless at times.”) Cameron wants to see Bree in party mode but Bree doesn’t want to do it in front of Daniel. Nikki ends this party with a cheer that only Blade Braxton would love.
The cast decide to have a little pool party & what a better way to have one by having all the Divas poses in a photo shoot! (RD:”I wish that was a joke but that actually happened.”) After the photo shoot Bree & Daniel are making out & Jimmy gets all flirtatious with Naomi. Nikki & Natalya are talking when Natalya gets texts from Jaret which sounds pretty flirtatious to Nikki but Natalya thinks they are nothing. Natalya didn’t know thanks to Nikki that she’s accidentally misleading the poor guy thinking he actually has a shot with her.
The pool party continues in Las Vegas & JoJo is ready to have some fun…That is until she sees Gabriel flirting with another girl. Eva Marie thinks JoJo is a rebound girl, JoJo says that she’s not a rebound girl. (RD:”How can JoJo know this when she had only one relationship?!?”) JoJo’s confident that Gabriel wants her.
The party continues back in the hotel suite as drinking games ensue for Natalya. Drinking happens, Kidd gives out a cheer, & Nikki gets slutty again by taking Natalya to the “Chippendale’s” show. The cast are enjoying the show mostly seeing half-naked men dance around. (RD:”And women think we’re awful for going to strip clubs yet women will pay money to see topless guy simulating a sex act?!? Nothing says fun than muscular men putting a pole near their crotch & jerking it off! By the way boss I want hazard pay after this episode!”) The Chippendale dancers take Natalya on stage & basically hog tie her & flash their junk at her. (RD:”After this episode I don’t want any women to yell at us anymore about strip clubs after this episode!”)
While most of the cast continue the party at one of the hotel’s night clubs the NXT Divas is basically bored since JoJo is under age & Eva Marie doesn’t drink. The NXT Divas walk around until they run into Gabriel having a date with another girl. JoJo is just pissed & walks off.
Back as The NXT Divas see Gabriel’s date with another girl. The NXT Divas walk out of the hotel just in time to catch Gabriel leave with the girl in a taxi cab. JoJo says that she is “DONE” with Justin Gabriel & she is shocked that he would do that. (RD:”Well I’m shocked that after ONE DATE JoJo thought Justin Gabriel was hers! It’s ONE FREAKING DATE! I mean come on! As Angry Jim Ross would say ‘Go F**k Yourself JoJo!’ “) Eva Marie told JoJo not to go after Gabriel & now she’s heartbroken. (RD:”You should talk you hypocritical whore! So far you admitted that you wanted to bang Fandango AND Roman Reigns!“)
We go back to the party as the cast continue & Bree enters “party mode”! The Divas dance normally & sexually. The Bellas & Cameron table dance (RD:”They table dance as if they know how to do it well. I’m not saying anything on that.”) & we get a shot of Cameron’s vagina. (RD:”That’s Not Divalicious Cameron! That’s Stripalicious!”) Nikki commits a party foul when she falls to the floor. The cast take the party back to the hotel room when Natalya admits that she can’t get Jaret out of her mind. Bree’s pissed but Natalya admits that she loves Kidd but maybe she’s not ready to get married. Bree & Natalya have some private time when Natalya admits she’s getting cold feet, Bree says that Jaret’s making Natalya feel special again.
We’re back & after Natalya & Bree’s little private talk Bree’s heading back to her hotel room but she’s still drunk & in “party mode”. Bree drunkenly stumbles to her hotel room but she can’t open the door so she knocks hoping Daniel would let her in. Daniel groggily lets Bree in but Bree’s acting horny after an exposed vagina shot. (RD:”WWE is supposed to be PG but in this ONE EPISODE we have guys flashing their junk to Natalya & not one but TWO times WWE Divas flashed their crotches!”) Bree then takes out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs & puts them on Daniel.
It’s the next day & Bree’s having a huge hangover & has to admit to Daniel that she was drinking & partying all night, Daniel admits that he knows but is all right since they are in Vegas. The night falls & the cast are having a dinner out with IRONICALLY enough JoJo sitting next to Gabriel (RD:”It’s as if it looks like it was, gasp, could it be that it was STAGED?!?”). Natalya thanks everybody for being with them. Gabriel takes JoJo away to talk to her about what’s going on with her, JoJo’s wondering what’s going on, Gabriel basically says “It’s not you it’s me” & blames it on her age. JoJo walks off emotionally hurt.
We’re back in Vegas as The Bellas are preparing for a new day when Bree accidentally discovers Nikki’s vibrator. Hilarity ensues with the Bellas & the vibrator.
Ron Burgundy: “You stay classy Bella Twins.”
Naomi arrives & Cameron’s hotel room & her bathroom is very impressive. Cameron gives Naomi the unexpected surprise that her boyfriend Vincent is actually coming to Vegas to see her. (RD:” Wasn’t Vincent told that he wasn’t allowed to be there?”) Naomi fears the chaos that’ll happen when Vincent shows up & speak of the devil there’s a knock on the door & Vincent arrives! Vincent is just very excited to be here as he bounces around the room like a kindergartner drinking a soda.
The cast & Vincent arrive at a restaurant to finish off Natalya’s very long Bachelorette Party. Bree gives one long toast that comes from her heart wile Nikki goes slutty with her toast. Natalya gets a male g-string cake for her to eat. Vincent goes mental when Cameron tries to touch the cake’s “wiener”. The server brings in giant balls of cotton candy as an appetizer while Vincent grabs a long piece of cotton candy & tries to be goofy with it near Cameron.
Vincent tries to go “Lady & The Tramp” with a piece of cotton candy at Cameron while everybody in the room is looking very embarrassed that Vincent is there. Vincent’s antics continue until he spills his drink on himself.
The cast arrive at a major club called “ghost bar” & of course they are partying & dancing all over the place. Natalya & Kidd say that they love each other while Vincent gets drunk out of his mind! Cameron says that when Vincent gets really drunk he goes really nuts! Vincent wants to drink himself to death but Cameron’s trying to sober him up. Drunk Vincent is talking to Natalya (RD:”OH GOOD! That’s what we need around here, more stupidity!”) apologizing for actually being there. Now Drunk Vincent is going over to Jimmy saying that he’ll back him up anytime. (RD: “Jimmy Uso has a person like that & it’s called his brother Jey!”) Cameron finds Vincent & goes mental that Vincent spilled a drink on her dress, Drunk Vincent of course denies this. Now a fight is breaking out between Cameron & Drunk Vincent. The fight goes on for while until Cameron is pissed & orders Vincent that they are leaving. While the cast are continuing to part Cameron takes a Drunk & now PISSED Vincent out because Cameron is going to be embarrassed by him! Now Vincent is doing the “walk the line” drunk test & Cameron storms back to her hotel room. In the end Natalya is happy about having the Bachelorette Party & she has no more cold feet wedding jitters.
End of Show
And RVM Kai wonders how I could handle this damn show?!?
Episode 21: Three Little Words: October 1, 2013
 | ||||||
| Angry RD (the exclamation point makes it so.) |
(The part of "guest recapper" will be tonight played by R.V.M Kai & R.V.M Kai.)
RD is upset that his Cincinnati Reds didn't make the playoffs and it now seems that the part of "Angry Jim" will be now played by "Angry RD" (sans the fetish for bald women and pulling his pork with Hollywood John). Blade segues an attempt to cheer up RD by getting him to watch a video of "The Baseball Bunch" that involves a cameo by The Kool-Aid Man. (:03) [Oh yeah, Gary Carter is in this? Why on earth haven't I seen this yet??? - PB]
SPEAKING OF "water", Blade somehow attempts another segue by relating the "water" in Kool-Aid to Trish Stratus' "water" breaking (...and you know what that means...?). RD doesn't like Patty's new son's name as much as her changing from blonde to brunette. (:08) Sad News: Blade has only seen Batman Returns once. Blade is also sad that Mickie James is apparently leaving TNA and is now moving on to greener pastures with her band at the World Chicken Festival, which would probably attract a larger audience than TNA's usual fare. (:15)
Blade: "You can't trust what I think these days."
RD: "These days, you say."
They talk about Goldust donning a hood and light-saber at an independent promotion somewhere in Illinois under a new gimmick of "Lord Goldie Goldust". (:21) The mention of Primo & Epico re-debuting as masked tag-team "Los Matadores" leads to RD bringing up "Zorro: The Gay Blade"...which is a joke that writes itself. (:27)
Blade still has a R2D2 cookie (amongst many other ancient food items) that has been in stored away his parent's deep freezer since 1987 and also announces that he will be selling that infamous "Alien Ham". Fascinating. (:32)
RD: "I have three words for you: See ya later!"
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Cincinnati Reds, The Baseball Bunch
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 3. Chicken, good times, good times
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. RD’s brother’s horse
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Johnny Bench, Graig Nettles, Gary Carter, Kool-Aid Man
- Blade Time Outs: 6
- RD Time Outs: 1 (Whoa, whoa, whoa)