RD Reynolds shocks Blade Braxton, on the April Fools 2008 episode of Wrestlecrap Radio (#98), when he revealed the long last tape of the "actual first ever" episode of Wrestlecrap Radio from 1988.
(Video Title: "WCR Reconstructions: Introducing The "Lost Episode" (04.01.08)" by Greg Diener
And here's the "minisode" version of the same episode:
...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!
And speaking of "lost" Mike Check is supposed to be celebrating his "7 Years Of Whackin'" Anniversary month over on The Mike Check Show but it seems that Mike is "lost in space" and...WAIT...This news just in: Mike Check has been abducted by Martians...and...does this mean that there's no more Mike Check Show?...No...He's going to be doing the show from Mars?...But how...? Does this count as parole violation?...I don't care! The Martians can keep him!
271 Marcho Madness: March 26, 2018
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| Uh Oh! |
RD and Blade do not like basketball much. This definitely has nothing to do with their hometown teams sucking. (Or in RD's case following multiple bad teams at once.) Blade brought it up however as an excuse to portray "Marcho Madness" if he were an old western prospector (and possibly owning a mine called The Danger Zone. Motto: "Can you (be able to) dig it?"). RD remembers when Mark Jindrak was an evil basketball player in WCW, though he's missing recordings of it. At least they also have Shaq's surprise WrestleMania appearance, Dennis Rodman in the nWo, and Stan "Kronkie" pissing off old man Vince.
This month it's Patrick Stewart's turn to promotional considerate with the all new Pontiac Montana Del Fantasma with "all new air filters!" (:06)
RD's latest writing, this week of hat wearing ECW Champion Vince McMahon was an excuse for him to post an image of Kristal Marshall. (:10) Blade randomly remembered when she doused herself in blue paint during the Diva Search, then blames others for driving him to drink.
RD took a TRIP to Jungle Jim's (International Market), causing Blade to interrupt him with laughter. (:13) There he bought a (glass) bottle of root beer from Chowning's Tavern, which when taste tested is pungent and tastes like unwanted root beer bubblegum.
Sad News: One time while touring Blade found Bart's Root Beer with no caffeine in it. Sadder News: According to RD's investigative Googling he learns he actually took a sugar free (and caffeine free) one instead. (:20)
Obscure Nestlé News: RD found the connection between the corporation name and their nest logo. Wait till he finds out about Nescafé and Nespresso! (:23) Blade has some "serious business" to complete and wants to auction off some deep frozen Universal Studios crunch bars he found in his folks' fridge 20 years ago.
65 year old Ricky Steamboat whom Blade respected as a child defeated "The Duke" (:27) The two wonder which Duke it was. My money is on Edmund.
Aspiring necromancer Eric Sims wants to bring Doink back, initially confusing RD. Blade has to clarify, further confusing RD. (:31)
Tammy's back in the slammy again. (That sounded better in my head.) (:34) Things have gotten so bad the duo initially think she was jailed for an earlier offense.
Despite putting them in the itinerary and having their MIDI music played, Blade's friend Cory Udler is unable to make the time as Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley to report on TNA news, of which I can't blame him. (:38) Thus RD instead calls up a Patreon patron by the name of Sean Stein to do so instead. One of the rewards of being a $50 tier WC sponsor is "a one-time guest shot on WrestleCrap Radio", so he appears on what Blade randomly calls "The Stein Line" (Blade reveals he's still stuck on "TV Guide time" where each day starts at 5 am).
Sean tried watching TNA once and found himself stuck watching looping advertising promos for an older and no longer running show. No comment. He went to their YouTube page where a recent upload is for "Christian Cage Theme Song and Entrance Video (2006)". No comment. The trio wonder how similar it is to his old WWE theme, fitting in to TNA's music guy literally phoning it in by making more rip-off themes than Jimmy Hart.
RD: "Keep your Johnson where it is."
Sean is gracious as RD keeps his number in his little black book for future use.
Robert Sternburg asks about Gorilla Monsoon's toilet technique and the Co-Fruitcakes miss the obvious joke about him being in the Gorilla Position to do so in. (:54) Blade prefers his toilet paper to be sturdy. "I don't want to be the Jim Morrison of wiping, right?" he reasons.
Blade wants to hire out (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera to swing children around in full nelsons. (:57) RD thinks that should be part of the auction. Blade remembers a magazine wondering if Patera would wrestle Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania IV. Also he recently hung out with Frank From LA.
Goldberg will NOT be inducted into the
RD: "Like we know what we are talking about."
The two wonder who should be celebrity inducted into the Hall Of Fame instead. This is not a repeat from last month when they also did this. (:71)
Blade: "I like to come behind you."
RD wants Burt Reynolds with himself inducting him of course, with his actual Smokey and the Bandit theme (confusing Blade again as it is not Jerry Reed's Eastbound and Down); Herb by Clara Peller or the currently reigning Burger King; and Elvira by Jesse Ventura.
Blade wants Bill Fralic by Stone Cold Austin; Cyndi Lauper by Dave Wolff (since Roddy Piper is no longer with us); and Susan St. James by Mike Adamle. The two wonder how little St. James has been on the radio progrem, as well as Lauper playing nearby Blade opening for Rod Stewart, RD going to see Weird Al perform soon, and Blade having gone to around 20 Misfits concerts. All very...fascinating stuff, no?
Seventeen More Syllables (RD: "Mike Check would be proud"):
Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
Bob with the bob the bang to
Bang shitty (shitty).
$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
...Uh Oh!
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, eBay, Dinosaur Dracula, Day of the Dead
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 5. Overstaying the welcome, obscure Nestle news, obscure wrestling news, trouble, concerts
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Stewart Patrick, Sean Stein
- Blade Time Outs: 5
- RD Time Outs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes: 2
- Cricket Chirps: 3
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
- RD False Finishes: 1
- Susan St. James Uh Ohs: 4
- George!: 4
- Question of the Week from: Robert Sternburg
- Do you think Gorilla Monsoon used the bunch method or the folding method when wiping? I’m a big bunch method guy because I’m scared my fingers will break through the toilet tissue. Thoughts? Blade: Quad ply or bust for me.
- WrestleCrap 3 Count: : 3 celebrities you’d like to see in the WWE Hall of Fame.
- RD: Burt Reynolds, Herb From Burger King, Elvira.
- Blade: Susan St. James, Cyndi Lauper, Bill Fralic.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Apparently, Kid Rock isn’t worthy of induction:Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
Bob with the bob the bang to
Bang shitty (shitty).
WCR Video: Ghetto Amusement Park He-Man & Skeletor (WCR #63 & #101)
As written by "Blade Braxton" (taken from here):
"If you listened to the radio show (Wrestlecrap Radio: Episode #63. May 18, 2007), you heard my sad tale of the Ghetto Amusement Park Skeletor and He-Man. I went to the park expecting a giant Mattel Toys sponsored event, with neato, bright, and flashy officially licensed costumed characters. What I got, was the nightmare fuel you see below. For your further amusement, behold the horrors...
There's the Lord Of Destruction himself, Ghetto Amusement Park Skeletor, looking a little more flesh colored than usual, looking like he lost a few teeth due to not being able to put down the crack pipe, and he's dressed kind of like Dracula. This was a few seconds before the smurfer started chasing me around the merry-go-round in an obvious cocaine-fueled rage. Who could save me?
Not this assclown, Ghetto Amusement Park He-Man, who looks like he pawned the Power Sword for an ounce of weed. By the Power Of Potheads!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, nice orange tank top underneath the armor there, "He-Man."
And believe it or not, even more frightening than Skeletor, was Ghetto Amusement Park Man-At-Arms. In a sane world, you could count on Man-At-Arms to save the day.
In this bizarro world I experienced that day, Ghetto Man-At-Arms has shaved his head, put on some mascara around his eyes and on top of his chrome dome, and striked a muscular pose like he was trying to woo a potential customer while he was man-whoring himself out on the point. I don't even want to know about the handcuffs he's wearing. Sigh, what a fraud-filled 1980's afternoon at Joyland, the Ghetto Amusement Park!!!!!!!"
(R.V.M Kai) Thanks Blade. The following WCR Video is taken from episode #63 as well as Blade's retelling of the "Ghetto Amusement Park" story almost a year later on episode #101 (April 25, 2008), which also includes a story of Blade's sister almost being "no longer being with us" after falling out of a ride...Oh, the days before health and safety standards.
(Video by R.V.M Kai)
And "speaking of the word "ghetto", it seems that Mike Check was inspired by this video to play "In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley on THE MIKE CHECK SHOW!
...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!
"If you listened to the radio show (Wrestlecrap Radio: Episode #63. May 18, 2007), you heard my sad tale of the Ghetto Amusement Park Skeletor and He-Man. I went to the park expecting a giant Mattel Toys sponsored event, with neato, bright, and flashy officially licensed costumed characters. What I got, was the nightmare fuel you see below. For your further amusement, behold the horrors...
There's the Lord Of Destruction himself, Ghetto Amusement Park Skeletor, looking a little more flesh colored than usual, looking like he lost a few teeth due to not being able to put down the crack pipe, and he's dressed kind of like Dracula. This was a few seconds before the smurfer started chasing me around the merry-go-round in an obvious cocaine-fueled rage. Who could save me?
Not this assclown, Ghetto Amusement Park He-Man, who looks like he pawned the Power Sword for an ounce of weed. By the Power Of Potheads!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, nice orange tank top underneath the armor there, "He-Man."
And believe it or not, even more frightening than Skeletor, was Ghetto Amusement Park Man-At-Arms. In a sane world, you could count on Man-At-Arms to save the day.
In this bizarro world I experienced that day, Ghetto Man-At-Arms has shaved his head, put on some mascara around his eyes and on top of his chrome dome, and striked a muscular pose like he was trying to woo a potential customer while he was man-whoring himself out on the point. I don't even want to know about the handcuffs he's wearing. Sigh, what a fraud-filled 1980's afternoon at Joyland, the Ghetto Amusement Park!!!!!!!"
(R.V.M Kai) Thanks Blade. The following WCR Video is taken from episode #63 as well as Blade's retelling of the "Ghetto Amusement Park" story almost a year later on episode #101 (April 25, 2008), which also includes a story of Blade's sister almost being "no longer being with us" after falling out of a ride...Oh, the days before health and safety standards.
(Video by R.V.M Kai)
And "speaking of the word "ghetto", it seems that Mike Check was inspired by this video to play "In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley on THE MIKE CHECK SHOW!
...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!
WCR Video: Song: Brown Haired Trish
On the latest episode of Wrestlecrap Radio (#270), Blade Braxton interviewed former WWE Women's Champion Trish Stratus. With only brief amount of time allocated, Blade decided to ask the one most important question of all...What is Trish's favorite breakfast cereal? Perhaps Blade could have used that time to ask her a more important question...does she prefer being blonde or brunette? Well, RD and Blade debated that question back in 2009, on WCR episode #157, where RD was not happy about his beloved "Patty" changing her famous blonde colored hair to "brown", whereas Blade dedicated his preference for "Brown Haired Trish" with a song to the tune of "Brown Eyed Girl" here on...THE WHACKER! (And if you want to listen to another "brunette" related song, Mike Check is also playing "Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair"...on THE MACKER!)
(Video Title "Blade Braxton - "Brown Haired Trish" (WrestleCrap Radio 9/18/09)" by Blade Braxton)
And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!
(Video Title "Blade Braxton - "Brown Haired Trish" (WrestleCrap Radio 9/18/09)" by Blade Braxton)
And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!
270 Tee Howard Tickle Party: February 28, 2018
72 minutesJeff Jarrett is a sudden (and possibly random) inductee in WWE's
The week prior, RD wrote about Tito Santana introducing Vince to this thing called a 'taco', featuring a "Debra" from Gringos. RD is momentarily conflicted on whether to use the word or not. Gringo I mean, not taco. (:06) Lord Alfred was too busy there (not) sampling the food to appear to promotional considerate. That will come later.
Blade took a "TRISH to the Grocery" as Patty was at a comic convention he was visiting during filming for his TV show. (:08)
Blade: "She really dug me."
Due to the intense security around in Blade's words (which RD feels can be distracted with a Stan Lee cameo) he does manage to get from her that like me, she also enjoys frosted flakes for breakfast. (:14) RD: "Where's Lee Marshall when we need him?" He temporarily forgot he was sick, and nowadays tormenting Bobby Heenan in the afterlife of the Ely-Weasel Fields. (That sounded better in my mind admittedly.) The two are hung up on her temporarily forgetting frosted flakes are available in the US as they are in the old continent.
Blade randomly shills his appearance in another Troma movie. In response RD shills his guest appearance in a upcoming series by the name of Fanarchy TV that will be featured/avaiable on Amazon Prime/Video within the next day or so.
Sad News: Bray Wyatt is late on paying some monthly support to his ex/partner. (:22) He's only paid $6000 of the mandated $14735. Lest you think he's paying the rest on electric lanterns or purchasing that House of Horrors of his, sources have told that reporter $5000 was spent on "miniature horses supplies and foods", $500 on jewelry "not for his wife", and close to $300 at "Tootsie's Strip Club". Blade immediately wonders if Dustin Hoffman was involved while RD was amazed at how little he spent at a strip club.
Ric Flair has a "custom suit line" which Blade mishears as a soup line. (:29) Let us hope it lasts better than that time he decided to go into finance. Blade considers putting some of his old suits online.
Paige is back in the 'news' after being out of it for so long. So long in fact that Blade forgot about her Mexican restaurant that had punched a patron before closing. (:32) She got a (not Rick) rude tattoo on her hands, which is slightly better than the Harris brothers sprouting visible and later attempted modifying SS symbols on their arms. Blade has considered tattoo ideas for quite some time. RD suggests Miss Elizabeth, which leads to the two losing themselves in laughter over what it would consist of.
Laughter having temporarily woken him up, Blade feels better to get Sir Alec to do some delayed shilling, though he is gracious enough to inform people of what he does before he does so. (:38) The shilling causes Blade some "technical" difficulties via more laughter, but he manages to get through a few lines.
Brian Keith Johnson thinks Ric Flair (without his custom suit line) should have continued using his Black Scorpion powers throughout his career to win more titles. (:45) Back to being tired, Blade (drunkenly?) thinks he still used them regardless.
Coliseum Video on WWE Network is sadly without its theme music, swinging Ken Patera, or RD ejaculating. (:51) Goldberg, the Dudley Boyz, and Ivory will also be in the HOF, with Bam Bam Bigelow and Kid Rock rumored to join them as of this progrem recording.
In more "Three Counting" RD thinks New Jack, Ahmed Johnson, and Nikita Koloff speaking only in his "Russian" should also be nominated just so they can hear what wild induction speeches they would give. Blade thinks Hollywood should also be nominated due to her own work, as would Scott Steiner if he was accompanied by his Freaks (and potentially asked to do some calculations as part of his speech).
Blade also thinks Demolition should go in. If Vince can forgive Jeff Jarrett (like Bret Hart, Ultimate Warrior, and Randy Savage before him, even if in the name of good business) to enter, he could forgive Bill Eadie too for it. RD apologizes for the wrestling discussion on hand for newer listeners. Blade apologizes in response for making them both lose composure again by thinking about Howard The Duck interviewing Bill Eadie.
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| *Make your own joke about Ax and Batista tag-teaming here* |
Seventeen Syllables Of Fun:
Improved 'Mania.
It's Howard The Duck versus
Demolition Ax.
$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Troma, Amazon Prime, Fanarchy, Patreon, WrestleCrapRadio.com
- URLs not taken: 2. DustinHoffmanwithathong.com, Swingingfullnelson.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 0.
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Lee Marshall
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Trish Stratus, Sir Alec
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 3
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
- Question of the Week from: Brian Keith Johnson
- Why didn’t Ric Flair use more of his Black Scorpion magic in his matches? He might have won more titles. Blade: He used it at the 1992 Royal Rumble.
- WrestleCrap 3 Count: Who should be in the WWE Hall of Fame that aren’t?
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RD: New Jack, Ahmed Johnson, Nikita Koloff.
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Blade: Demolition, Hollywood, Scott Steiner
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Coming soon to a PPV near you:Improved 'Mania.
It's Howard The Duck versus
Demolition Ax.