Holy Rat Race (that's the actual episode title)
March 10, 1966
"Alfred contacts Batman by radio from the Batcave. Batman instructs the butler to short circuit a communications device the hero has on his wrist. This enable Batman to get free of his bonds. He and Robin get free just before they would be run over by a subway train. The Dynamic Duo resume their pursuit of False Face, which ends up at an old movie studio."
71 minutes
"RD: Live from Bioscope Studios". He had 20 or so people for Thanksgiving (hopefully all properly protected). His games are actually upstairs rather than in a basement or Batcave. "Papa" Vince got exhausted chasing his granddaughter around. Vince: "Interesting." RD: "Is it?"
Vince calls the Duo's escape "kabuki-ish" while the Narrator mentions the inflating cape and "False Face in Chief's clothing". Vince is reminded of WWE doing similar reminders of their last week's terrible stuff.
Rather than using the utility belt or a well-thrown Batarang, Batman is contacted by Alfred through his Battransmitter. He was listening to "the fragile intricacies of Mozart" in the Batcave and just remembered to check up on them after the DJ gave a vague statement about them. Batman asks him to pull the "short-circuit lever" for the transmitter, which he does despite his protests. This lets him break loose from his saran wrap bonds and use his "buzzer" to escape. Vince cannot believe how cheap it all was. RD agrees. The Duo stand by a wall as a flashlight goes past them.
Male Passenger in train: "Isn't that Batman and Robin we just passed?"
Female Passenger in train: "Yes, fighting crime wherever it may be. Good for them!"
At "False Face Headquarters" Face "looks like the love child between Mean Gene Okerlund and Hulk Hogan". (:15) The two wonder what he's supposed to look like. Blaze now has pink hair. RD gives her 7.5 Batpoles, Vince 6.5. Even worse is the dwarf wanting to "deep six" her by throwing her in a river.
To the Batcave, the Duo wonder who on the radio could have prompted Alfred to call them. RD knows it's the repentant Blaze. Vince thinks it's the dwarf. RD does his Vince as Chumley impression in response.
Alfred is sewing Batman's glove while he's still wearing it. Vince sometimes irons his clothes while he's wearing them. RD hasn't ironed anything in a long while.
At Police HQ the real O'Hara stumbles in from a garbage scow.
Then it's back to the Batcave as the Duo watch television as a reporter remarks that O'Hara has "sworn revenge and will have an appeal to the citizens of Gotham later tonight". RD wishes it was televised. Vince recognizes the announcer as Gary Owens, a year before Laugh-In. RD asks Vince to please to explain Laugh-In.
They go to the radio station where the DJ thought "it was a religious announcement". Batman: "I don't think we should treat religion lightly." (It was the 60s after all, in between all the smoking.)
The DJ also saw that the woman paying for the message had green hair. Vince thought Sable had the best hair in wrestling. RD has Bull Nakano. Vince: "What's with you and the Orientals on this show?" He remembers Ruby Riott not knowing what to say in her hometown. He also remembers reading two people online debate about Adam Cole being interrupted by Tony Khan using internet slang. RD tells Vince about Satan Stan's plan to take over the world using social media before social media took off. Anyway Blaze paid with a "false" check. Batman promises to get Gordon to pay for it.
Speaking of Gordon, back at Police HQ they try to figure out their next move. O'Hara is so happy that he knows that there is money in a bank. Face is attempting to replace it with counterfeits. Batman wants him to be "encouraged, enticed, and then entrapped by falsehood!" Narrator: "Can Batman lie?"
Face sneaks into the bank as a security guard. (:37) RD loved his theme. The henchmen get to opening the vault. Vince wonders why they have different listings in the credits when they all have names. Says one of them: "We're rich beyond the dreams of avarice!"
But of course it's the Duo inside instead.
Batman: "It's not only possible, it's true!"
Face (covering his eyes): "Please! Not that word!"
He then throws one of the goons at them to cover his tracks. The dwarf (whom RD recognizes as a Lollypop Kid) fights a sitting O'Hara for over three minutes. Face as a cop takes him away on his shoulder. The cop he replaced stumbles out in very tight fitting undergarments.
Cue another car chase, with red haired Blaze tied up in the Trick Truck. Vince gives her 7, RD 7.5. Face laughs but doesn't click his heels as he leads the Duo to the abandoned Bioscope Studios. As Robin waxes philosophical about the validity of the movie sets, they drive straight into a net held up by more henchmen. Batman just shoots the net onto them. Vince was distracted by the constant cutaways clearly showing the stunt doubles.
Robin stands up in his seat as the Batmobile drives around the corner...and Face blows it up into a wireframe. Then the real Batmobile shows up, having used an "inflated duplicate that I prepared for just this kind of situation" to distract him.
Vince hates holiday decorating but he prefers inflatables over plastics. (:50) RD is so disgusted he has to step away from the camera for a moment.
There's still eight minutes left to the episode, allowing Face to throw the "emergency escape lever" and launch a speeding motorcycle. Vince gives RD applause for knowing McMahon sponsored one of Evil Knievel's jumps. The Duo free Blaze who tells them to chase him on foot, so that their stunt doubles including Robin's 6'3" one can get their time on camera. Batman uses tied Batarangs to catch and potentially behead his opponent, but this just knocks him off the bike so that they can run around some more to pad out the episode.
Finally Face turns into an old Western prospector, is thrown through a window, and shakes his fist in disgust. Vince wonders how confused the crew must have been in their attempts to keep Face's disguises straight. (That was actually because for some of the disguises they used different actors entirely, hence the "?" credit for them collectively.) Face then tries to sneak out as Gordon but Batman stops him by noticing he's holding his handkerchief in his left hand instead of his right.
At Stately Wayne Manor Aunt Harriet is wearing a bra for once. (:60) A reformed Blaze now in boring black hair plans to go to New Zealand to look after her sheep-herder brother. Cue WWE style awkward staring. Cue cue credits listing Midget, Fat Man, and Thin Man.
RD gives dwarf actor Billy Curtis some of his due that the show didn't give him by reading an IMDB blurb. Vince wonders why the "little people" don't have advocates to help represent them, so we can tell he never watched Game of Thrones (with all the good and bad that entails). RD wonders why Vince hasn't yet recorded a Christmas album. (He could call it Russo Swerves Sleighs On A Pole or something.)
RD: "Spoiler alert: I play Santa."
- Special Guest Villain: False Face (Malachi Throne as ?)
- Screen Captures: 2. RD, RD
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. Unattractive, not being generous
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