The Penguin Goes Straight
March 23, 1966
"The Penguin seems to have gone legit, but the Dynamic Duo suspects otherwise."
77 minutes
"RD is Jollier Than Alfred" by how he's wearing his Santa hat's beard over his face like a mask (certified HOHOHO95). Vince was confused by a video he had sent in which he and the family threw stockings with hot sauce bottles from their windows, an old family tradition.
At a theater's matinee the performers go for a "refreshing orange drink." (:06) Vince wonders if it was Tang. The Penguin is there for "a penetrating documentary of our times" on morality. Suddenly a masked man appears to steal a woman's necklace. Penguin stops his gunfire with his bulletproof umbrella ("JUMPIN' JEEPERS! A bulletproof umbrella!") and punches him out with a "POW!" graphic like he was Batman. RD makes a "big igloo/orange drink" circle for the camera to show the woman's ecstatic reaction.
Cut to Police HQ where Gordon is surprised that "the waddling pompous of fowl play" prevented a crime of the necklace being stolen, belonging to one Sophia Starr. RD's mind goes places for some reason. Despite the Penguin not doing anything criminal Gordon still calls Batman anyway.
Even weirder is Alfred's reaction when he answers the phone, sighing at the utter incompetence once again displayed by the police. "Alright Commissioner, I'll go fetch him for ya!" he sighs. (:13) Vince wonders if he was up for contract extensions. Bruce and Dick are practicing putting with braless Aunt Harriet when Alfred finds them and actually tries to be subtle with the call from "Mr. K. Rhyme" that is so obvious even Harriet picks up on it.
Batman talks to Gordon with some indecipherable words that the two try to untangle. They go down the Batpole - just to talk more to Gordon in the Batmobile's Batphone. This could probably be because again, no crime was actually committed to meet to investigate.
They thus decide to interrogate the arrested thief to see if he is actually one of Penguin's men. RD attempts to recreate the interrogation room with a desk lamp. The crook thinks they "read too many comic books." O'Hara threatens to punch him. Gordon calls him a "cheap hoodlum" and a "hard boiled cookie covered with armored plate icing". They then turn down the lights to project Batman's fluttering shadow. The crook responds by running into a wall knocking himself out.
Vince disowned his sister for eating boiled peanuts and clogging toilet bowls.
Meanwhile the Penguin is at the New Blood Millionaire's Club's steam room, where he saves a kidnapping victim named Richie Reggie Rich with the help of his unconvincing henchmen Eagle-Eye and Dove. (:28) He then pops his head up in between the Duo to eavesdrop. Batman: "You pompous talking creature!" Penguin declares he will safeguard Sofia's jewelry on behalf of Penguin Protective Agency Incorporated. The Duo reposition to the Batmobile to plan for Alfred to swap the jewels for traceable radioactive fakes.
In the Penguin's lair the camera remains straight instead of Dutch angled, where he refuses Rich's reward for saving him. Well he IS a billionaire, he doesn't need the money. The henchmen complain on not being paid so he has to whack them over the head with the umbrella.
Cut to Starr's penthouse. Narrator: "Plot and counter-plot: here's Alfred carrying out a risky chore under the guise of a man from Floyd's of Dublin Insurance Unlimited!" (:35) Alfred takes photos of the jewels but the Narrator yells at him that he didn't yet switch the cigarette holders for the anti-theft system that triggers. Vince thinks the Penguin has an alarm buzzer in his umbrella. RD remembers when this happened already with Penguin earlier in the year. Alfred escapes despite the Co-Bros wanting him to be angry that he was almost set up and done for. Instead he fears he did bad despite the Duo's reassurance.
The Duo then drive the Batmobile at night, a rare occurrence on the show, to Starr's penthouse. Climbing up a wall Robin has worries so Batman wonders if he tied his shoes properly. Yet when inside and using Batman's stethoscope they run into the henchmen, causing a fight. Sofia calls a paper to run the headline "Crime Fighter Penguin Foils Dynamic Duo Jewel Heist!" (:42) Gordon is angry at the paper as Penguin calls him while eating a can of sardines, informing him of a police fundraiser at the Gotham City Amusement Pier. Gordon: "You abominable avian!" He informs the Duo in the Batmobile, and also if they show up they will be arrested.
Robin: "Batman and I have an awful thought. What if Penguin really has gone straight?"
RD: "How would that be awful? Don't you want him to become a good guy? Don't you want him to not be terrible?"
At the Pier one of the "attractions" is a nightmare animatronic monkey with moving eyes. Another is a nightmare animatronic clown with moving eyes. Isn't that a Joker thing?
Before the Duo could find more scares a cement filled umbrella traps them. Some henchmen hang their seven feet tall stunt doubles up behind a pop gun game. However Penguin has replaced the pellets with actual bullets, and he offers $1,000 to the visiting police to shoot the balloons and behind them - the Duo. RD expects the police to miss anyway since they're terrible at the rest of their jobs. Narrator: "Good grief! And good night! Double funeral tomorrow?"
RD tells Vince about the ordeal of inducting The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas. Vince: "Interesting." (:52)
RD then gets around to Vince's gift. (:57) He joked that knowing Russo Swerves he expected it to be empty. Instead he first finds garbage bags. Then the gift has another address on it. Then he has to break through the hermetic seal. Inside is Batman '66 meets The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (RD pretends he doesn't know it) and a '66 style Lego Batmobile.
Vince's father still plays softball at 91 years old.
With the concept of RD and Vince being friends and exchanging gifts, the two remind to be good, courteous, and serving to others, regardless of occasion or religion. After all, some things will not matter in death. (:69 - end)
- Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [2] (Burgess Meredith) [2]
- Outdated references: 1. Rex Reed
- Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Horrifying
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