Shoot a Crooked Arrow
September 7, 1966
"Archer
and his gang have come to Gotham City, winning the public's favor with
their Robin Hood style deeds of stealing from the rich to give to the
poor. Batman and Robin set out to discover the location of their hideout
and stop these villains, only to find themselves caught by a trap in
the Archer's lair."
60 minutes
"Boo! Hiss! Phooey on RD!" Season 2's 60 episodes are on six discs. Vince kept seeing Art Carney as Ed Norton as the ArTcher, and he should know since he has Jackie Gleason tattooed on his arm.
It's a "warm serene afternoon" in the gardens of Stately Wayne Manor. The Archer and two goons arrive on horseback as inside Dick plays piano overseen by bra-less Aunt Harriet.
Bruce is talking to one Allen Dale who is practicing his ventriloquism skills for some reason (when he's not talking through his teeth), and as a fellow board member of the Wayne Foundation complains about Bruce being too charitable. But he's not being stereotypical greedy; he's just warning that this may draw the attention of the Archer, perhaps on horseback.
As soon as Bruce tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and gasses them. The Archer fires another arrow at the painting of Bruce's great grandfather, revealing the safe behind it. As bags were apparently not invented in the medieval era, one goon as a friar has to carry the loot under his robe. The other goon has a sound-box to play clips and sound effects like some kind of bard (with a radio progrem). If the Bros had something similar they would want boos following them (but not booze).
The Archer blows a kiss to his deed of robbing the rich as he leaves: "Parting is such sweet sorrow!" He then rides into the Irish neighborhood to give to the poor, including a few people in stereotypical poor outfits, and someone running a hot dog and sauerkraut cart. The police show up, but he has a sneezing powder arrow to scare them off.
There actually was a very obscure Archer villain, but he was a different character who fought Superman instead. I also kept confusing him with Green Arrow, who at the time was still a couple of years from his visual update leading to his increased presence through his politics, partnering with Green Lantern, and dealing with his drug-addicted sidekick (Speedy, not Green Lantern).
Scared off by a single archer on horseback (or as Gordon calls him, "that rapacious rapscallion that returned to taunt the good people of Gotham City!"), he calls Alfred on the Batphone who answers with another eye-roll. (:12) O'Hara is also there asking Bruce about the robbery while Aunt Harriet fans herself in the corner. Batman of course already knew he - I mean Bruce - was also robbed. But they still need to keep appearances so down the Batpoles they go to his office.
Gordon also says that most of the money was returned when the people learned it was stolen, which is more unlikely than expecting the police to do their job. Batman: "A tribute to their character and moral fiber!" Dale is also there, and also not noticing how similar Batman sounds to Bruce, talks through his teeth of mentioning this to the Board.
As soon as Gordon tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and blinds them. The Archer and goons then appear wearing Cyclops' visor as the others have to remind loudly that they are in fact blind.
Archer: "I came to warn thee - all of thee. I don't want anybody interfering with my robbing or giving, understand?...Now heed this: I'm gonna rob from the rich and give to the poor."
Batman: "How unoriginal!"
As they escape with the loot and a "cheerio" the Duo recover enough to chase after them with another unreliable Batarang to go down the wall.
Dale: "He certainly is a spectacular man."
O'Hara: "That he is, and the Boy Wonder's pretty good, too."
Dale: "I was talking about the Archer. A good publicity campaign and he'd replace Batman as the public's favorite."
Gordon: "Understand this, Mr. Dale: someone might be able to substitute for Batman for a very sort time, but... [to the camera] ...no one could ever replace him."
As the Duo climb down Dick Clark as "Citizen" pops out of a window to observe without any idea of who they are. (:21) Batman surmises he's from Philadelphia because he is "dipping his diphthong". RD reads the definition to an incredulous Vince: "Interesting."
Robin: "We are crimefighters."
Clark: "Oh, you're a vocal group."
As they get on the ground they see a truck for the Trojan Hearse Company. Its driver, a large woman eating a giant turkey leg, says in a strong Brooklyn accent that she has not seen any horseback riders.
At the Archer's lair (which is sadly not in a forested park) (:26) Big John and Crier Tuck complain about their philanthropy. Archer reassures them that after the next robbery there will be "the big caper". The Brooklyn trucker is also there as Maid Marilyn, complaining about their funny talk. The joke is she talks in the accent while the men talk in Old English. Archer wants to find the Batcave: "Those caped sheriffs of Gotham-ham have a machine that can predict any criminal's next ploy!" The Bros have no idea what he is talking about.
In Gordon's office he is so happy he got an anonymous tip (actually from Marilyn) on where the Archer might show up next, and informs Batman. In an accounting office Everett Bannister, the coin machine king, is biding his time counting coins. All of a sudden the Archer and co show up ("Gentlemen, string thy bows.") and just shoot him full of arrows pinning him to the wall.
As they do their giving outside the Duo appear, and the crowd boos them. "Phooey on Batman!" someone shouts. The fight has thrown fruit and the captions written in 'attempted' Old English with -eth at the end, until all of a sudden the criminals are captured. That was a pretty fast story...
...until Gordon informs Batman that the people have paid their bail ($50,000) with the stolen money. "Don't they understand how he's trying to fool them? The illusive lore of easy living!" says the multimillionaire who inherited his wealth. Archer has a recorded statement (not a hired town crier?) thanking the people for their support and proclaiming no more robberies. The Bros think it's a good investment for the people since Archer will just give them more money to recover it. They also think the people aren't the most intelligent. Vince also wonders if when later he will rob from the poor to make himself rich why he didn't just rob from the rich directly in the first place.
In the Batcave Batman tries looking up the Archer in his Batfile. (:36) Cross-referencing him with Robin Hood he finds an archery range on Sherwood Avenue.
Alfred stands towering next to him, and he reveals his archery skill was so good he was once the William Tell of Liverpool. He goes to distract Archer while the Duo stumble about his lair. Alfred and Archer place bets on their marksmanship. Alfred has a £1 note which somehow equals $100.
"Holy imposition!" Robin exclaims as they enter the "very spooky" lair next door. Batman plans to "take strategic positions" without explaining further.
Alfred and Archer take turns splitting each other's arrows in the bullseye before what Vince terms "the animal woman" as Marilyn warns Archer of intruders in his "playroom". He tells her to trigger the secret button on her cash register to trap the Duo in a giant net. Batman tells Robin he will get them out with his knife. Archer takes Alfred with him for reassurance as they come across the Duo, and of course both are unconscious instead of being cut out of the net. Perhaps they used secret gas?
The Duo are hung up by their thumbs showing their sweat stains. Archer demands the location of the Batcave again or he will put Alfred in a guillotine. He also refuses to divulge. Archer: "Happy landing, old man. Thou hadst a good head on thy shoulders, whilst it lasted."
Of course Alfred is just fine; Batman knew he was just in a stage guillotine. He then asks about the sound-box, which was "purloined from the castle of a television producer who makes alleged comedy programs." Big John suggests getting rid of the Duo through "imported California smog". Archer instead slaps Batman in the face with his glove, challenging him to a "fair duel on a field of honor". Said duel has the Duo tied up on poles as the villains come at them with jousting lances. Archer: "Time to offer them a bellyful of steel!"
Narrator: "Doth this foul deed spell finis for the Caped Crusaders? Willst the Dynamic Duo escape to fight again the villainous swine who threaten home and hearth? Take heart, citizens. The answers to these and other pointed inquiries tomorrow! Same Bat-time! Same Bat-channel!"
RD didn't remember the episode much at all, it might not have been shown in syndication.
The two want to rate the "woman in red" who was in the crowd pelting fruit at the Duo and went uncredited (and Vince keeps mentioning Finella for some reason). They give her 8 Batpoles regardless.
Arcade Easter Bunny RD had to play against a trio of pre-teen trash talking sisters, and got his revenge through a Mortal Kombat II babality. Vince thinks they were smoking and drinking for some reason. RD made sure the Bunny outfit was cleaned beforehand.
- Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)
- Screen Captures: 1. RD
- Window Celebrity: 1. Dick Clark
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