Come Back, Shame
November 30, 1966
"Shame is back, and is using stolen vehicle parts to assemble a truck so
fast even the Batmobile won't be able to catch him. Bruce Wayne tricks
him into stealing his limo, which he (as Batman) and Robin use to track
down his hideout. But the villain gains the upper hand in the ensuing
fight, and the Dynamic Duo find themselves staked to the ground in the
path of a cattle stampede."
53 minutes
RD Won't Shop for Aunt Harriet. Not even for bras?
Vince doesn't think they could be able to remake Shane today. It's his father's favorite movie.
The Gotham City Speedway's 100 is half way done with "400,000 people" at a place that looks like the Indianapolis. The race leader has such a comfortable lead (six minutes!) that he can afford to get out of his car during a pit stop. He gets a gun pointed at him for his trouble by a cowboy in a very bright bandanna. "Make one false move, you got another mouth where your nose used to be!" he threatens and RD says in his Mike Check impression. He then takes the car out rather slowly while shooting a platinum bullet.
In his office Gordon determines that Shame has returned "to taunt us with his western wiliness" to steal a race car, a hot rod, and a go-kart. (:11) This needs the help "of one wiser than we." RD: "If someone stole a bicycle they wouldn't be able to handle it."
At Stately Wayne Manor Bruce and Dick are playing slot racers. "It's child's play once you get the hang of it!" says the one with the driver's license and a playboy's collection of actual fast cars. Alfred announces he has an appointment with "Mr. Red Amici from the phone company" so the Duo let Aunt Harriet try.
Vince's grandmother once worked at Aurora Plastics in New York. RD grew up in Aurora, Indiana.
Gordon: "There were three auto thefts in Gotham City today, Batman."
Bruce: "That should be simple enough for your fine force."
Gordon: "It would be, except that all clues point to the redoubtable road agent."
Bruce: "The bloodthirsty bushwacker?"
Gordon: "Shame himself."
Bruce: "We'll be right there."
At the office Batman compliments Shame's bravado. O'Hara randomly calls him a "caped crimebuster"; they also got the vehicles back but with parts missing. Batman asks to analyze one of his platinum bullets on the precious metals Batanalyzer. "Vamanos!" Robin: "Right amigo!"
"Meanwhile, in Westernland" (as per the narrator), the lair is a deserted movie studio. Shame literally has an axe to grind as he threatens the Duo. His posse expresses their support. One of them takes a drink of "tonsil varnish." His girl, Okie Annie, pretends to play a player piano as fast as she can. Shame plans to make a super truck that can exceed 300 miles per hour and beat the Batmobile.
Before he can kiss Annie the posse announces the arrival of a little kid. He calls himself Andy, "The Pecos Kid", and he pledges his six-shooter. Then Shame pops up his head to scare him.
In the Batcave Batman chews on the platinum bullet to test its worth. (:24) It's just a regular bullet painted in platinum. They also determine that Shame is building a super truck to race with.
Batman decides to ask "Dean" DJ Hot Rod Harry on his car knowledge. Harry, played by actual comedian Jack Carter, plays "a tune that was written this morning and it's already #3" on KGC before Bruce calls in. RD points out that east coast Gotham City should be WGC.
RD once wanted to be a disk jockey. Fascinating.
Andy still hasn't run away from Shame spinning his revolver, so Shame replies with a string of western related phrases. DJ Harry then states over Andy's radio that Bruce has a "super cam shaft and valve lifters" on his limo, which is what Shame needs. He and the posse leave with the radio. Andy: "Come back, Shame!"
The posse drive into town in a Cadillac with huge horns. Shame seeks the limo's "backwash".
Cut to Bruce and Dick shopping somewhere. Bruce: "Maybe we should have checked Aunt Harriet's shopping list a little more closely before we volunteered." Vince thinks they're buying her a girdle. RD decides to check with his wife if that could be considered lingerie. She says yes.
Shame and Annie are observing subtly. Vince is more interested with another women she sees despite not having a face. He gives her 8.5 Batpoles anyway. RD gives her 8. (:37)
Annie then approaches, asking for millionaire Bruce Wayne and a ride since her car has broken down. The drive is interrupted by a literal cow on the road, so Bruce has to get out and shoo it away. Dick: "What's a nice cow like you doing in a place like this?"
Shame and posse then appear to steal the limo leaving the Duo and Alfred adrift. Thankfully Bruce has already programmed the Batcycle and Alfcycle to come to them from a mile away. They can also follow a trail from the limo in the Batmobile.
The Duo thus get to Westernland as the posse assemble their "hayburner".
Batman: "The best-laid plans of mice and men aft gang a-gley." (:41)
See, his memory that makes him forget he is married to Aunt Harriet last week also makes him forget that it's actually "The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft a-gley." If the Bookworm was here (and not just because he probably escaped prison already) he could have told him that.
However the posse can't risk shooting their guns for fear of damaging their vehicle.
Shame: "Talkin' to you is like talkin' pig Latin to a donkey! We got 'em outnumbered! Three and a half to two!"
Annie only has a brief moment to be shocked that she is only considered half before a barroom brawl breaks out with the stunt doubles. "One Half" Annie subdues the Duo by shooting the chandelier down upon them.
Andy then enters asking for his borrowed radio, and then notices the knocked out Duo. Shame's attempts at an excuse don't work and he walks off in...shame.
Shame decides to get rid of the Duo by tying them down in the potential path of a stampede. "Now those cows don't stop comin' for no one. Not even you Batfeller!"
Batman: "Shame on you, Shame."
Shame: "Watch your tongue."
Narrator: "Have Batman and Robin at last bitten the dust? Is this the Big Casino? Are the Dynamic Duo heading for the last roundup? If you have the intestinal fortitude to learn the answer to these questions, tune in tomorrow! Shame time! Shame channel!"
The Bros discuss Weird Al for a moment.
- Special Guest Villain: Shame (Cliff Robertson)
- Entertain The People: 1
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. Aurora, Disk Jockeys
- Window Celebrity: 1. Jack Carter
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