Flop Goes the Joker
March 23, 1967
"After
thoroughly bamboozling his young patron, the Joker makes his move
against the Gotham City Museum for a grand extortion scheme."
61 minutes
RD is Also Magnanimous. I concur based on my personal dealings with him. Vince considers him a brother. I consider him a friend.
Burt Ward is 78 years young today. So too is Sylvester Stallone at 77.
RD: "Can he still be classified as the Boy Wonder?"
Vince: "At heart."
Narrator: "When we last saw Robin, the artful Joker had hung him on a gigantic 'Batmobile' along with dozens of giant palette knives about to slice him to slivers, with Bruce Wayne securely tied to a nearby chair in the monstrous mobile room of Joker's studio. In one moment, we'll find out whether Robin's saved...or shaved."
Bruce manages to get his chair on the mobile as he tries to find the governor, i.e. the speed limiter rather than yet another useless person of authority (the Batgirl of the Undynamic Duo if you will). He manages to stop it, allowing Robin to get free of his bonds, take one of the mobile's (rubber) blades, and cut Bruce's bonds.
Robin: "That was close. Not much room for error."
Bruce: "From now on, all the errors are on Joker. I think we'll prepare a little surprise for him, Robin."
Meanwhile elsewhere in the Institute lair Joker takes a moment to laugh.
Baby Jane (calmed down for the time being): "Joker, you could at least untie us. My hands are getting stiff."
Joker: "Oh, but of course, my dear. The Joker is nothing if not magnanimous. Ha ha ha!"
Mrs. Putney (another captive): "How about me?"
Joker: "Well my generosity does not extended to overweight matrons, madam."
Baby Jane: "Joker, that's not very nice."
Joker: "Well, we artists are not required to be nice. Only talented."
He goes to check the mobile's activator, which has two settings between off and hamburger. He sees on a monitor what he thinks is blood but it's actually red paint.
Robin: "My beautiful red blood is still inside me, no thanks to you."
The Duo delay a fight by throwing swords at the goons to pin them. Joker immediately asks Baby Jane for help.
Baby Jane: "After you tied me up and tried to steal my art collection?"
Joker: "But I couldn't help myself, my dear. I'm an artist. I have a desire for things of beauty. Beauty's irresistible to me. Oh, that's why I'm so attracted to you, my dear. I swear it, on a stack of Blue Boys."
Vince has to deal with confused people conflating Dave Meltzer rating wrestling matches with Vince rating Batpole women. (:12) RD reminds him not to be swayed by ratings, opinions, and critiques.
The goons free themselves so we can finally get a quick fight. (:21)
Bruce: "I had to let him knock me around a little bit. We don't want these crooks to make any connection between Bruce Wayne and Batman."
Robin: "But it's sure a tough way to throw them off the track."
Bruce (holding his jaw): "Fortunately, I'm in good condition. But we still have to round up the leader of these artistic failures."
Baby Jane: "Your paintings were impressive, Joker. Certainly not the work of an ordinary mind."
This is enough to have her help him for the time being as the Duo burst in.
Joker: "Aaah! Stay away from me! That juvenile delinquent has no appreciation for fine art!"
Baby Jane: "He's just a misguided artist, Robin."
Robin: "And we're going to re-guide him, straight to the Gotham State Penitentiary."
However according to her, technically he has not yet stolen anything and she refuses to press charges. And since the other prisoners don't have as much prestige as her she speaks for all of them (and the "overweight matron" Mrs. Putney). Bruce, who is "reasonably secure socially," nevertheless defers to her judgement. RD considers Bruce's idiocy as Baby Jane and her "big hunk of genius" leave.
Joker: "Tata Boy Bungler, and tell your chicken-hearted partner that if I catch him on the street, I'll run him out of town. Ha ha ha!"
As they untie the prisoners Robin asks Bruce for his reasoning (giving Joker delusions of evading being caught). RD wonders when Batman will make an appearance in his own show.
Narrator: "Presently in the Handsome Mansion of Baby Jane's filthy rich father..."
Joker eats rotisserie chicken for strength while still wearing his gloves. "I could exist on two grapes and a thimble of water. But my muse, my muse is starving."
Baby Jane: "MORE CHICKEN FOR THE JOKER'S MUSE!"
Suddenly getting inspiration from his "muse", his goons knock off everything on the table (including the chicken). The butler then has to watch Joker throw paint everywhere on the table.
Joker: "Look at it this way. You're not losing a table, you're gaining a masterpiece."
Halfway through the progrem recording Batman finally shows up in his own Batcave. How nice of him. (:31) At least Alfred Will Do managed to remove the paint on the costume, and Batman is so happy he touches it very oddly.
Robin: "How can you predict what a kook like that will do?"
Batman: "The criminal mind, erratic as it is, nevertheless has certain characteristic patterns. For instance, Joker has begun an artistic caper. I suspect he'll continue it."
Robin: "And he can count on Baby Jane Towser's help."
Batman: "Yes, I'm afraid he's completely bamboozled that poor girl and I'm sure he'll try to use her. The question is, how?"
Joker is doing so at the Handsome Mansion by appealing to Baby Jane's future grandchildren. He plans to put his works in place of the "old relics" in the Gotham City Museum.
Joker: "I happen to know that your filthy rich daddy has a special founder's key to the Towser Wing of the museum."
Baby Jane: "Yes, he does, but - "
Joker: "Do you want your genius, me, to find another inspiration?"
Baby Jane: "OH NO JOKER, I MUST ALWAYS BE YOUR INSPIRATION!"
Gordon calls on the Batphone, worried on Joker's radio silence.
O'Hara: "That larcenous phony has something under his hat besides his head."
Batman: "Robin and I would like to handle this ourselves. (Emphasis mine) Especially since Joker has been spreading ugly rumors about me."
Gordon: "Whatever you think best, but no one could believe for a second that you're afraid of that cackling cutpurse."
That night (at the museum), Baby Jane stands in awe as Joker has his "artwork" in place of the previous works, which his goons take away without even checking underneath their coverings. He says he will "burn" them (by stealing them for himself).
Immediate cut to the lair, where Joker has all the (still covered) paintings while Baby Jane is suddenly tied up. Or as wrote RD: "BJ gagged."
Joker: "Friendship ends when real felony finally takes over."
He calls Gordon's Office...where the Undynamic Duo are asleep.
Joker: "Working nights, Commissioner?"
He asks for $10 million for the paintings within the hour or he will burn the lot.
Batman is also there sneakily behind Joker with his own phone (including an improvised bit where he sees a statue of Joker's head and turns it around).
Joker: "Batman? Ha! That Cowardly Creep? He's so scared of me he doesn't dare come out of his Batcave. ... Oh, you better stay inside, Batboob, because if I catch you outside, I'm going to pin your pointed ears back, do you hear?"
After admitting to his theft he suddenly stops, dramatically pulling back a picture's covering to find that he's actually stolen the works of one Alfred Will Do.
Joker: "You Caped Clotpoll! You switched paintings on me! These are nothing but kindergarten drawings!"
Batman: "Naturally. And even a kindergarten mind could have anticipated your every move. This caper was even more obvious than most."
Joker: "You can say that over the phone, Batman, but if I had you here, I'd pound you to a pulp."
Batman takes a moment to put his phone down.
Batman: "Start pounding, Joker."
That line was so great, it almost forgives Robin already being replaced by his stunt double at the start of the fight.
Joker also didn't hang up, so the Undynamic Duo hear the fight over the phone. During it Batman breaks a vase over a goon, then puts the flowers on the body. Immediately after Robin does the "look over there!" trick to distract and punch a goon on the nose.
Joker, sensing he needs to run away, decides out of the blue to first flee to Stately Wayne Manor to see if he can rob its safe.
For some reason he takes Baby Jane with him, and Alfred Will Do answers them at the door.
Alfred: "My duties do not include aiding and abetting thievery."
Joker pulls a gun on Baby Jane to have him take them to the living room where Aunt Harriet is knitting. But instead of finding a safe, he finds a sword pointed at him...by Alfred.
Harriet: "Alfred, be careful. The Joker's an archcriminal."
Alfred: "I know, madam, but a very poor fencer."
Joker: "You Anglo-fink, I'll smash you to smidgens!"
Alfred: "May I point out that smidgens is a childish effusion which should have no place even in so poor a vocabulary as yours, sir."
Alfred wins (so we can confirm he fights better than he paints) but Joker still tries to run away again. (:47) He runs into the study, hitting the Shakespeare head to reveal the button to reveal the Batpoles. But since they're still being repainted they don't have labels, so Joker just thinks it's a regular emergency exit rather than a secret entrance to the Batcave. He goes down one, but Alfred hits the Emergency Batpole Elevator to launch him all the way back up and crash his head on the top.
Joker: "Someone get me off this crazy dumbwaiter! I can't breathe!"
Batman (arriving on the scene): "Joker says he can't breathe, Alfred. Why don't you give him some breathing space?"
Alfred: "With pleasure, sir."
And so Joker starts bouncing up and down.
Robin: "It's lucky you didn't get around to washing our other costumes, or Joker might have found himself wearing a Bat-costume."
RD found the whole sequence "absolutely beautiful."
Baby Jane is still in the living room, where Harriet consoles her for trusting in Joker.
Baby Jane: "I blame myself. It'll be a long time before anyone catches me in another art gallery."
Batman: "It'll be an even longer time for Joker. Right now, Joker's having his ups and downs."
Joker: "Alfred, old pal, have pity!"
Alfred: "We Anglo-finks have a long memory. I really shouldn't take pleasure in another creature's misfortunes, but, occasionally one may be forgiven for a slight twinge of satisfaction."
Back at Bernie Park's Artistic Procurers, Alfred Will Do donates his paintings for the Wayne Foundation Free Nursery School, whatever that means.
Bernie (seeing Gordon): "Excuse me, I think I see a customer ripe for plucking. I mean, interested in buying."
Gordon: "Well, Alfred, it's not everyone who can have his very first efforts displayed at Park's."
Alfred: "Thank you, sir. The Joker and his paintings are in prison, and Alfred and his paintings are at Park's. A rather nice turn of events."
O'Hara is politely interested in buying one but can't afford it, so Alfred just hands a Will Do original to him "as a token of my esteem."
O'Hara (despondent): "Mother McCree."
For having what he considers a (non-Francine) "horse face", Vince gives Baby Jane -1 Batpoles (presumably going the other way up as just demonstrated by Joker). RD won't forget Joker's female accomplice not named Harley Quinn that woodenly screamed almost every line, including demanding more chicken for Joker's muse, and thus gives her a 9. Of course Vince is very much against this drastic difference.
This was probably the career highlight of (age unknown) Diana Ivarson, who had less acting roles and even fewer shouting opportunities. Supposedly she has a Twitter account. Good luck using that these days. Perhaps she's on this new Threads thing? (Assuming she is even still with us and not sick.)
The Arcade is getting a bubble hockey machine from a nearby casino.
"WrestlingCrap" has a WrestleMania match. Vince never had a problem working with Stacy Carter. He thought of Terri Runnels as high maintenance, and this was before she was caught running a house scam.
A different non-wild Mr. Freeze will be the last villain of Season 2.
- Special Guest Villain: The Joker [8] (Cesar Romero) [8]
- Entertain The People: 1
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Unforgettable
No comments:
Post a Comment