Yes, you can expect who will summarize it on this...the same mustache time, the same mustache channel.
(What?)
Showing posts with label Big Announcement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Announcement. Show all posts
Blade's "Big Announcement" finally revealled?
For years we have been wondering one thing. What the hell is Blade's "Big Announcement"?
Ever since Episode 88 Blade always says that he has a "Big Announcement" to say but he'll say it later. It has been a running joke on Wrestlecrap Radio for YEARS! Some say that Blade's "Big announcement" can be ranked up to the legends of "Does The Loch Ness Monster Exist?", or "Who was driving that white Hummer?", or even "Will The Chicago Cubs win the World Series?" Okay I know one of those happened but according to Blade this may be his "Big Announcement":
Blade Braxton: "Nine years ago, I filled in for a wrestler who no-showed while wearing the hokiest mask imaginable in front of a crowd of maybe 100 people. Flash forward to today, a near decade of mileage, injuries and a flower masked lifetime later. We finally were able to announce that our show, Drive-In Movie Maniacs, will be syndicated nationwide on Retro TV. Alongside the show's creator Terrible Tim, the Midnight Rose will be in full bloom every week in 68 MILLION households in the United States, providing some old-school horror movie madness to the masses!
No matter what your "gimmick" in life may be, never stop. Never yield. Never give a fuck if it's not the "norm." Pimp yourself out and shove that motherfucker in as many faces until they finally "get it."
Man, it was a good day today..."
Also on the same day Blade also mentioned that "Drive-In Movie Maniacs" would also appear on "The Action Network" as well.
So we here at wrestlecrapradio.com would want to congratulate Blade on torturing the world as a Syndicated TV Star now. Also Blade now that your a star also...You do know that money is owed to us right? Our Boss and Ruler Premier_Blah has been keeping track of how much money has been owed and its currently at $50.99 ($31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right).
Over on "The Mike Check Show" Mike's in the middle pof playing artists that previously played at the "Vans WARPED Tour" since this is the last year that the Warped Tour will ever be in existence and he's playing "Optimist" by P.O.S
Ever since Episode 88 Blade always says that he has a "Big Announcement" to say but he'll say it later. It has been a running joke on Wrestlecrap Radio for YEARS! Some say that Blade's "Big announcement" can be ranked up to the legends of "Does The Loch Ness Monster Exist?", or "Who was driving that white Hummer?", or even "Will The Chicago Cubs win the World Series?" Okay I know one of those happened but according to Blade this may be his "Big Announcement":
Blade Braxton: "Nine years ago, I filled in for a wrestler who no-showed while wearing the hokiest mask imaginable in front of a crowd of maybe 100 people. Flash forward to today, a near decade of mileage, injuries and a flower masked lifetime later. We finally were able to announce that our show, Drive-In Movie Maniacs, will be syndicated nationwide on Retro TV. Alongside the show's creator Terrible Tim, the Midnight Rose will be in full bloom every week in 68 MILLION households in the United States, providing some old-school horror movie madness to the masses!
No matter what your "gimmick" in life may be, never stop. Never yield. Never give a fuck if it's not the "norm." Pimp yourself out and shove that motherfucker in as many faces until they finally "get it."
Man, it was a good day today..."
Also on the same day Blade also mentioned that "Drive-In Movie Maniacs" would also appear on "The Action Network" as well.
So we here at wrestlecrapradio.com would want to congratulate Blade on torturing the world as a Syndicated TV Star now. Also Blade now that your a star also...You do know that money is owed to us right? Our Boss and Ruler Premier_Blah has been keeping track of how much money has been owed and its currently at $50.99 ($31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right).
Over on "The Mike Check Show" Mike's in the middle pof playing artists that previously played at the "Vans WARPED Tour" since this is the last year that the Warped Tour will ever be in existence and he's playing "Optimist" by P.O.S
You Can't Stop The Gooker, The Gooker Lives On!
A little Tenacious D to stomach what's about to happen.
Raging_Demons here and once again kiddies we here at WrestlecrapRadio DOT Com as we take a look at the only award that most places recognize as the "WORST" In Pro Wrestling today as the 2015 Gooker Award Nominations are out today.
2015 was...was...Basically horrific in train wreck epic proportions. There wasn't particularly a lot of good that happened that year (I'm looking at you New Day). Instead it was piles upon piles of utter pile of monkey-flinging poo that I rather go hide out in my cave than watch any of it. In fact I literally did that in 2015. Everything pro wrestling wise in short of a Joey Ryan Penis Slam turned me off as a fan & unlike Road Dogg who thinks I'll be back to WWE one day just shows how at times pro wrestling promotions are SO out of touch.
How bad was 2015? Well lets take a look at the nominations and hear the opinions from us over here at WrestlecrapRadio.com
The Nominations are....
1. The Divas Revolution: In 2015 WWE's farm system NXT were at times even better than WWE. While WWE went off to do "sports entertainment" NXT did what some fans actually wanted. A little concept called...PRO WRESTLING! NXT had legit women wrestlers, an occasional Un-Diva that was from Ric Flair's loins (Charlotte), & Snoop Dogg's cousin (Sasha Banks) to do things and wonder that WWE could never do with its craptasitc roster of Divas like The Bella Twins & Alicia Fox. Seriously if you type in "Alicia Fox Botch" on YouTube there's a couple of pages of her botching all over the place. So what did WWE do? Well they left them alone to continue to build the NXT Brand of course. KIDDING! KIDDING! WWE exploited the hell of the NXT Divas and brought then to the RAW/Smackdown roster. Next thing you know the NXT Divas were regulated to mini-factions, given the usual dumbass storylines, and most of them were buried to Super-Whore herself Nikki Bella. Mick Foley tried to spread the gospel of The Divas Revolution on Social Media and that failed. If Mankind himself couldn't do it then YEESH!
[In a rather unexpected coincidence, this comes around the news of Linda McMahon creating a new company for..."promoting leadership opportunities for women."
No, really. I can't make this stuff up if I tried.
I know what their first teachable lesson would be to the fine ladies: don't work for WWE. - PB]
2. Roman Reigns in 2015: And you thought John Cena was too cartoonish. 2015 saw WWE literally AND figuratively cram Roman Reigns down our throats so we like him. A little observation here but when you try to force people how to think and act most of the people do not like that. Reigns wins Royal Rumble (BOO!), Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson tries to get people to cheer for Reigns (BOO!), Reigns versus Brock Lesnar (KILL HIM BROCK!), and it just goes on and on and on. WWE even had Reigns basically quoting Looney Toons quotes while Bray Wyatt basically said "Anyone but you". It had to take an act of Vincent Kennedy McMahon to actually make him not loved or even liked but more like apathetic towards him. Oh yeah and "Tater Tots".
3. Throw Mickie James from The Train: Unfortunately this doesn't have Danny DeVito or Billy Crystal in this one. We here at WrestlecrapRadio.com have kept track for over a decade of Blade's obsession to do UNGODLY things to Mickie James. Hell the Co-Fruitcakes made a word up for Mickie's ass (Centaur's Ass or Centaur-licious). So in 2015 when TNA decided to pull off something stupid in having James Storm kill off Mickie James by chucking her in front of a "moving train" it wasn't bad. It was REALLY BAD! It was so bad that TNA had to say that Mickie James was ALIVE after it aired!
[What's funny is that not only did TNA bungle this up while showing it, but James Storm was even called to the police for the angle. I think the bigger crime is that TNA is still "on the air" in the loosest sense of the word. I think that's punishable by the electric chair, no? - PB]
4. Sting's Road to Wrestlemania: It was every wrestling fan's dream from the early days of WWE to the "Monday Night Wars"/"Attitude Era" WWE. After years of anticipation Sting finally debuts in WWE. So WWE decides to give him the epic storyline of WCW versus WWE. Such an epic storyline from 15 years ago! That's almost a generation of fans for Christ Sake! Not only was the storyline bad but Sting's Wrestlemania match was so bad from beginning to end you think Vince Russo scripted the whole thing while drunk and on acid. How bad was it? Over on our sister website "The Mike Check Show" made fun of the entire storyline and Wrestlemania Match.
5. The Rosebush: Take one Adam Rose, who was formerly the life of the party and last year's Gooker Nominee versus a feud with a Bunny so what do you do with him? Well after a heartwarming story from ESPN you give him a mega push right? Or...you give him a very lame TMZ rip-off show that was written by 6th Graders. Take your pick.
6. Jon Stewart Turns Heel: For years Jon Stewart was hated by Politicians, Arby's (*cough* Mickie James *cough*), and FOX News as host of "The Daily Show". Now Jon Stewart has added another bunch of people to hate him, Pro Wrestling Fans. Yes you can all blame Jon Stewart for costing John Cena the match versus Seth Rollins at Wrestlemania but after that...geez! Well at least he had a nice segment with Seth Rollins on his show.
[Now, if WWE had got Stephen Colbert for their show, leading to him taking things over and becoming the new RAW GM and delivering his own promos in his signature style? License. To. Print. Money. - PB]
7. Mahabali Shera's Dance Party: Take one giant Indian, make him do a dance, make said dance "addictive", and what do you got? The first ever storyline that was ripped off from "The Harlem Shake".
8. The Lana-Ziggler-Rusev Love Triangle of Eternal Torment: With help from Vince McMahon because he thought Rusev "didn't deserve someone as hot as Lana" this love triangle was the result. I mean it's not petty jealousy or anything like say...Lana leaking it out on Social Media that she and Rusev were getting married or whatever Dolph Ziggler did just to piss WWE off that day (I say cutting in line in front of Triple H for Hot Cocoa Day. Gotta get the whipped cream and Marshmallows). A very painful thing to watch especially with the whole "if they did it" deal or not.
9. Authority Kane: Kane getting a job performance review, Kane "leaving" on vacation to become regular Kane, Kane "outwitting" Seth Rollins when the whole point of Rollins in WWE right now is that he's Emo Triple H. I know I like my wrestling rivalries when its like my job. AND SPEAKING OF The Authority!
10. The Authority WILL NOT DIE: Just like "The Metal" The Authority, no matter how much you put it that they need to go away, WILL NOT DIE! Fueled by the prepubescent egos of Triple H (World Heavyweight Title Reigns of Hell anyone) and Stephanie McMahon (like giant ego filled father, like giant ego filled daughter) who wants to have more screen time than anyone in the history of TV; and not even letting the good guys win just ONE thing - it has to be shown that The Authority wins in every way. Entertainment 101 here is if you let The Villain win every single time then no one cares at all. Same for The Hero (and I'm looking at you John Cena AND Roman Reigns). Whether its Triple H's ability to bury Mother Nature and Father Time to Stephy Bear's ability to make everybody on the WWE roster look like crap (yes even the timekeepers). YET thanks to these two they think they are the ratings draw when the honest truth is that they are the opposite.
10 Nominations, HOPEFULLY One Winner. Who do you think was the worst of 2015? Only one way to find out.
254 Derailed: October 10, 2015
 |
| All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya! |
Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.
That's what she said.
This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot if there is one is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.
RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.
Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Co-Hosses seem to be suffering from at present.)
:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote Mrs. Deal doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.
Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)
RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."
Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.
 |
| Artist's representation of a poison mushroom |
Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)
Eve Torres had a child named Raeven, pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)
RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."
:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven? Pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She supposedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not explicit of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.
RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"
Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again. (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (as King Arthur decapitates him, only for him to continue talking.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:
- "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter."
- "The show was held from the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, North Carolina. The venue reported that only 280 people paid for tickets to the show. Tweets showed that TNA was distributing hundreds of vouchers in an attempt to have any sort of crowd."
- "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."
Also of rather important note:
- "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."
I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.
Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mailman to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.
:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!
Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.
:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.
Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."
Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)
:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.
James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Co-Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.
Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe
Hehehehehe.
The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.
RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.
$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, IntestinalFortitude.com
- URLs not taken: 1. MikeCheckinathimble.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. Internal organs, dying
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Filton Whisk, Bill Cosby, Honky Tonk Mail Man, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes: 1
- Cricket Chirps: 2
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
- Mike Check Radio Row:
- Station/Market: WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
- Call Sign: Johnny Boo
- Partner: Ann B. Love
- Show: Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
- Song: “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens
- Question of the Week from: Allan in Milwaukee
- Who will win this years Warrior Award and why will it be Stephanie McMahon? Blade: Nope, Iron Duke.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: New Yawn or York?The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore. - Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: One last thing on RDs white:Hooker solicits RD.
What do call such a thing?
Terrifying Whore-Deal!
252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015
 |
| #252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats" |
Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.
As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)
RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.
RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.
WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.
While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. (To be fair, when has he not been confused?) RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid through Global Internet for it!
That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.
:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.
RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).
Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants?
Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.
:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.
Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?
Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.
Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.
John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.
Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)
Hillbilly Jim last main-evented a PPV 27 years ago.
Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.
A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?
$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.
WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.
While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. (To be fair, when has he not been confused?) RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid through Global Internet for it!
That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.
:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.
RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).
Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants?
Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.
:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.
Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?
Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.
Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.
John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.
Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)
Hillbilly Jim last main-evented a PPV 27 years ago.
Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.
A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?
$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, InnerRickRude.com
- URLs not taken: 6. WhatshappeningtoGreg.com, FumigatingBladeBraxton.com, NudistColonyWithDanSpivey.com, fullyclothedpodcast.com, PoorMatilda.com, smashittogetherintoverysmallam
ountofdigestablesyllablare.com - SPEAKING OFs: 3. Ways to clean yourself, couple things we will neglect, Sting
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Stewart Patrick, “Iron” Mark Tyson
- RD Time Outs: 2 (2 Wait a Minute)
- Blade Time Outs: 7 (2 Real Quick)
- Blade Burps: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Weird Al Laughs: 2
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes: 2
- Cricket Chirps: 1
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
- Question of the Week from: Ed "Han" Salo (5)
- Since the WWE is removing all references to Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka from the network, I wonder if Young MC will have to change the lyrics of his 1990 hit song “I Come Off”? The lyrics are I’m coming off just like the clothes on a hooker and I can fly like Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. Certainly the WWE would ask this legend of rap to remove that lyric, but who would replace him in that line? RD: Booker T. Blade: Uhhh.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Sting the lovable loser jobber?
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?
251 Like The Sandwich: August 30, 2015
 |
| Unlike ODB's new sauces; This show |
| won't "make you love it all the way". |
RD is still angered WWE ruined Prime Time Wrestling by adding a live studio audience. Blade can only remember when Miss Elizabeth was on the show.
RD & Blade are confused by people wrongly saying the word Gif from its 100 year old creator and his weird looking groin. (:04)
Blade threatens more episodes of the wrestling progrem.
RD mentions more about his Skyline Arcade. I really have to go and visit it now. The Midnight Rose hosted a horror movie show because we all know how great Tony Montana was as a slasher movie villain.
RD needs more sponsors for Lord Alfred to announce and fill the whole progrem. Thankfully my chipmunk voice makes Blade laugh. I call that a win. I really need to take RD's advice and slow down though, but I admit there is an appeal in being quick. It makes me feel like I'm driving down my hometown highway in a custom made Bugatti, the official activity of all locals here. (:12) More fine shilling of this here website makes Blade yawn.
The progrem is also sponsored by The Intestinal Fortitude. RD reads their ad copy though sadly not as fast as I. (:16) Blade ignores the crickets.
:18 RD was once forbidden to go grocery shopping because he would just buy random unnecessary stuff like any good shopper would.
Blade: "Kids eat poop."
Anyway RD has SUPER FRUIT Starburst which seems an oxymoron in and of itself. After remembering ravioli (thankfully not super fruit flavored) and something about Pearl Harbor (not being discussed by Bryan & Dave) RD tries the Blueberry Acai which looks like clay but tastes average like the Strawberry Starfruit. The Pomegranate Passionfruit is the worst of the bunch.
:30 Blade does his Reuben-Like-The-Sandwich impression. He sounds an awful lot like Stubby. What is even stranger is that unlike most impersonations and parodies on the show Reuben is an actual person. Sure, Blade may have done a Don impression here and there but at least it was just that and not a full fledged calling character, and of course Don himself would later appear on the show...like last time in fact. Maybe Reuben is more harder to find as he's been stuck in his car he's still been paying for.
Meanwhile Blade as Reuben-Like-The-Sandwich tries Lay's New York Reuben chips (like the sandwich) prompting RD to gong himself. They don't taste like the sandwich sadly. Or like Reuben for that matter. Blade himself likes them though.
:34 Last seen trying to fund raise bus money, Virgil is claiming that Xavier Woods is his son. Surprisingly this is not winning people to his side, not unless he is taking life lessons from Mike Check and his Virility Tour of the highways and byways of the world.
RD: "Speaking of rustle mmm ma mmm."
ODB has a new BBQ sauce (sadly not named Old Dirty Barbeque), much to Jim's chagrin. (:38) Blade continues to plague him with his bad memory - didn't he say last time he wasn't going to appear on the progrem until he got paid/booked?
Jim: "You put the I in Itinerary don't ya?"
He then reads the BBQ sauce blurb and takes offense to its rowdiness unlike his sauce which is all consensual. I think it depends how you use the bottle really. "Go flop yourself!" he says.
:45 Talking about Tammy makes RD cry and a little daemon get its wings. She made a joke that would fit into the WCR itinerary assuming she can afford a paper plate. She's also shilling some other random thing or other. (Because all serious websites have a .us domain, let alone be part of another meta site.)
Blade postpones his Big Announcement. Shocking I know. RD thinks it's his old Carnival idea.
:51 Sir Alec has been feeding Ellie like a pet at the local Long John Silver's buffet. I wonder if they use any BBQ sauces. For eating OR douching. RD has to explain Sir Alec to potentially new listeners despite him having appeared on the interim RD & Blade Show a couple of times before as far as I can remember, before he entertains with a Roman Reigns story, which hinges on it being a Thursday and "has a lot of big words" that tongue tie Blade - I mean Sir Alec - and has RD rolling on the chair laughing.
SPEAKING OF weekdays...
Sir Alec: "Oh boy. I got myself Deal. Never become smarter than yourself. That's kinda how the Terminator happened."
:62 Peter (not Gazer) has the Question Of The Week wondering how the duo managed to snag Lord Alfred. RD answers with a food analogy but instead of sending him his bread or Starburst he searches around his office for a WWE napkin, Scott Steiner's workout DVD, or a Memphis Heat DVD while Blade "entertains" the people. Blade is also to auction off another itinerary paper plate that he will again lose money on selling before the recipient sells THAT off.
Blade finally has the WWE Network like RD. He uses it to watch Miss Elizabeth matches. (:67)
In response to the disaster that is this "Divas Revolution" (something bad involving the Divas? Get out!) the duo respond with radio silence. RD predicts it will win this year's Gooker.
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine is not officially on Twitter. This is a shame as I'm sure his current trolling remarks on said Divas and lady wrestlers in general would make him the biggest online hit since the Iron Sheik, though unlike the Humble Maker he would actually write his own Tweets. (:73)
Seventeen Easily Digestible Syllables:
Hammer hates women.
What could help? Bellas using
The Hammer Jammer.
$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Rupert’s Kids Arcade, Drive In Movie Maniacs, TheIntestinalFortitude.com
- URLs not taken: 2. KidsEatPoop.com, RandysPaniniSandwich.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 7. Television, horror movies, drive ins, tasty things to eat, tasty things to eat (2), hurting women, bloating.
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Franco-American
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Premier Blah, Reuben (Like the Sandwich), Jim, Sir Alec
- RD Time Outs: 2
- Blade Time Outs: 2
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 4
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes: 1
- Cricket Chirps: 2
- WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
- Question of the Week from: Peter
- Hey RD and Blade! How much did it cost you to get Lord Alfred back on the show after he jumped to Colt Cabana's Outlaw podcast? We have the best buttered bread.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Greg doesn’t like the skirts:
Hammer hates women.
What could help? Bellas using
The Hammer Jammer.
Episode 28: Vince Russo 3D: May 5, 2014
 |
| This says it all. |
[Note: Seeing as how there wasn't much from my end to write and I was too tired to think up anything for this particular progrem, Kai picked up things from there. For fun, try to guess which parts are his and which are mine.]
Vince Russo is on the show on his own volition for the third time despite Blade's attempts to chase him off. Unlike the first time (all about wrestling), and the second (all not about wrestling), this go about is more in the middle.
The Co-Fruitcakes first talk to Vince about his Big Announcement.........that he apparently has a website of his own now. (Which is also taken under THIS URL too.) Yep, that's it. Were you expecting something else?
In light of Vince's new nostalgia website, the Co-Fruitcakes talk wrestling nostalgia for the first half hour, where Vince mentions that he would only order the WWE network if Tuesday Night Titans was available, especially the episodes featuring Fuji Vice. (:5). They also talk about the time he wrote for WWF Magazine and almost left to go to WCW in the mid-90's after he found out that there were plans for Jim Neidhart's alter-ego "WHO" to get a tag team partner called "WHAT". Yes, really. (:30)
To appease the 12 listeners, current wrestling is briefly mentioned where Vince talks about his opinion of Bray Wyatt (not "WHAT") and Daniel Bryan (feel better now?) (:48). But talk then turns to Vince's time when he and his cop buddy would shake down people for their late returned video tapes. Good times! (Except for the customer.) He then spends what seems like 6 hours talking about his love for the the VHS and 8-track tape (especially his Barbra Streisand one) (:54).
The gloves are off when Vince and Blade "debate" over KISS's induction in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Vince thinks that the current line-up is a "cover band" and that only the original four should be inducted (:76). The show finishes off where Vince plugs his website pyroandballyhoo.com again and talks about 1966 Batman, Kimye and Tiny Tim (:86).
Oh, I almost forgot! There may have been a mention about Vince NOT currently working for TNA and NOT currently being under contract with any wrestling company (:43), but nobody wants to know about that, eh? [Edit - July 15: Oops! -RVMKai] [Edit Edit - July 31: Well, I guess it's now true as of today at least? -RVMKai]
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. WrestleCrap.com, PyroandBallyhoo.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. Big, being an old fart
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Vince Russo, Tiny Tim
-
RD Time Outs: 1
- Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku:
Russo interview.
A fight with Blade over KISS?
That’s money right there!
Episode 27: Generic Music Wrestling: April 23, 2014
 |
In Stereo Where Available
|
((( NOT recorded in high phone-buzzing over-modulated fidelity )))
RD searches for more Betsy Russell, much to Blade's happiness. (He's friends with her on Facebook, you see.)
RD's mute button doesn't work. (:08)
The two have been podcasting for close to 9 years now. This makes Blade call himself George Washington for some reason, if he was working construction instead of chopping down cherry trees. (:11) RD has ideas for on-the-job ear protection which does not involve sticking paper in the ear like Blade does.
Blade: "I'm a piece of garbage."
RD is a fan of Steve Austin's (new) podcasts because he thinks he's doing an impression of Blade. (:16) Meanwhile their Jim Ross has taken over the OG JR's podcast (The Ross Report). (:19)
Blade had a bad experience with the WCW Hotline AKA Late Night With Jim Ross.
RD calls Diamond Dan's Hotline. (:24) Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.
TNA has a TV deal...in Italy. Because it's definitely a wrestling powerhouse country that can't show WWE over there or anything. (:26) Things have gotten so bad that Jeff Jarrett had abandoned it to create "Global Force Wrestling" (:28) RD wants Global Internet Greg to hack into their 'Database'. Blade would rather watch Captain Planet, poor bastard.
RD admits that Blade was right for once, in that he cannot watch Generic Music ECW on the WWE Network. (:36) He's 'watching' Legends House though and can't believe how fake it all is. (:41)
Vince Russo is to make a three-peat appearance next week because he has a Big Announcement to make. (:45)
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Tomboy, Diamond Dan Hotline
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Diamond Dan, Vince McMahon, Chris Beavers Jr., Tito Santana
-
Entertain the People: 1
Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku:
TNA in Italy?
Looking forward to Dixie’s
Euro Trash Wrestling.
Looking forward to Dixie’s
Euro Trash Wrestling.
An Important Message from Mike Check
Not again!...Hello fellers! The Mike Check Show seems to be experiencing some technical difficulties due to yet another fire. And NO, "we didn't start the fire"...a little Billy Joel reference there [*crickets chirping*}.And what bad timing! We have been celebrating our 2nd Anniversary with songs from RJ and Brad's Show: "The Whacker" (and from my short lived 2009 website of the same name, that met it's demise in a fire...what a co-incidence!). However my daughter, who I tell you is one hell of a whiz-kid, has moved the show to a temporary (or maybe permanent?) home at
[Edit: August 2013: Mike Check has found a permanent new home at mikecheckshow.wordpress.com. A full archive can be found here at: http://mikecheckshow.wordpress.com/archive/ ]
So please enjoy the Song Of The Day: "Jackie Blue by Ozark Mountain Daredevils", here on "The Whacker".
And that reminds me of another thing. Ole Mike is also looking for a new nickname for his show. Due to some legal red-tape, my Lawyers seem to frown upon me using the name "The Whacker!". I'm also trying to register a call sign like "WWCR". Friends of the show; Raging_Demons and R.V.M. Kai have suggested some names like: "The Checker!" and "The Maraca!" A possible call sign could be KMCS? So if you have any ideas, you can send me a message on this Twitter thing or leave one in the little comment box below.
208 No Gold Star: April 20, 2012
104 minutes
Big Announcement: Blade's drunk again. No wait, not that: WrestleCrap will have a table at a actual convention. It's only on the Saturday though, so Blade can get drunk and try to be Danny Trejo's sidekick.
RD recently saw the famously bad Birdemic and was traumatized by it. (:07) Next time he should watch it with its Rifftrax.
RD and Blade read the Shining Wizards Podcast ad copy just to make fun of it.
RD is happy with Brox's chocolate Easter bunny. (:21) RD tried bare some of those gifted spicy sauces. The two gave away a few bottles.
Diamond Dan's HOTT line is finally called for some Obscure News. (:32) Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.
Blade tries some Doritos Jacked. He likes them. (:35) He recently uploaded a video of he and his friend trying out imported Japanese Doritos.
:40 Blade's beloved Jessica Alba 'fought' John Morrison for a commercial. This of course gets Blade going on her. Diamond Dallas Page admits Dave Grohl was unhappy with his theme music. Blade mumbles drunkenly.
"Satan" is so lazy he calls in just to say hello. (:51) His Tubular Bells sounds different again.
Steven Austin's barn was badly ravaged, but it's nothing he can't fix. Jim Ross calls, seeing as barn fixing is his expertise. I think. (:57)
:63 The Anonymous One asks about balls dropping.
SPEAKING OF balls dropping Mike Check answers. He hosted American Bandstand in Philadelphia in '52. 1852, to be exact. (I hear Lincoln was a fan of his. Mary Lincoln, if you know what I mean.) Did he ever tell you about the time he was at WFIL "The Fill 830" with Bob Horn? He was Little Mike E and together they did Horn-E at Midnight. I admit, that made me laugh. He gets possessed by Jim Ross for some reason.
:76 Blade needs to be filled by the Honky Tonk Mailman, who's been busy delivering tax forms. Did you know that next week he'll break the actual Honky Tonk Man's Intercontinental holding record? Wow, is this show awful. Random discussion about using the mentally challenged as man-servants ensues. Joe Park Esq., formerly Abyss, is coming to TNA last month. Kerry Von Erich's stamp comes in halves.
:86 Sad News: The Bellas are leaving WWE for...something. Penthouse is my guess. Don once made a stop-motion Muppets porn movie. (:91)
No Holds Barred is finally coming to DVD. AND distributed by WWE no less (their films division perhaps? That would be something.) (:94) The duo reminisce about WC in the Internet's Iron Age. Blade's Iron Mark Tyson impression wants to see Don's movie. Hey, who doesn't? (Besides me?) (:101)
So here it is:
No Holds Barred on disc.
Twenty jock-ass years later:
Dookie in high def.
Oh, and Chief Jay Strongbow is no longer with us. This is all the Co-Fruitcakes have to say about it:
(How?)
Finally, some money to be made! $8.00 ($14.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right)
Big Announcement: Blade's drunk again. No wait, not that: WrestleCrap will have a table at a actual convention. It's only on the Saturday though, so Blade can get drunk and try to be Danny Trejo's sidekick.
RD recently saw the famously bad Birdemic and was traumatized by it. (:07) Next time he should watch it with its Rifftrax.
RD and Blade read the Shining Wizards Podcast ad copy just to make fun of it.
RD is happy with Brox's chocolate Easter bunny. (:21) RD tried bare some of those gifted spicy sauces. The two gave away a few bottles.
Diamond Dan's HOTT line is finally called for some Obscure News. (:32) Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.
Blade tries some Doritos Jacked. He likes them. (:35) He recently uploaded a video of he and his friend trying out imported Japanese Doritos.
:40 Blade's beloved Jessica Alba 'fought' John Morrison for a commercial. This of course gets Blade going on her. Diamond Dallas Page admits Dave Grohl was unhappy with his theme music. Blade mumbles drunkenly.
"Satan" is so lazy he calls in just to say hello. (:51) His Tubular Bells sounds different again.
Steven Austin's barn was badly ravaged, but it's nothing he can't fix. Jim Ross calls, seeing as barn fixing is his expertise. I think. (:57)
:63 The Anonymous One asks about balls dropping.
SPEAKING OF balls dropping Mike Check answers. He hosted American Bandstand in Philadelphia in '52. 1852, to be exact. (I hear Lincoln was a fan of his. Mary Lincoln, if you know what I mean.) Did he ever tell you about the time he was at WFIL "The Fill 830" with Bob Horn? He was Little Mike E and together they did Horn-E at Midnight. I admit, that made me laugh. He gets possessed by Jim Ross for some reason.
:76 Blade needs to be filled by the Honky Tonk Mailman, who's been busy delivering tax forms. Did you know that next week he'll break the actual Honky Tonk Man's Intercontinental holding record? Wow, is this show awful. Random discussion about using the mentally challenged as man-servants ensues. Joe Park Esq., formerly Abyss, is coming to TNA last month. Kerry Von Erich's stamp comes in halves.
:86 Sad News: The Bellas are leaving WWE for...something. Penthouse is my guess. Don once made a stop-motion Muppets porn movie. (:91)
No Holds Barred is finally coming to DVD. AND distributed by WWE no less (their films division perhaps? That would be something.) (:94) The duo reminisce about WC in the Internet's Iron Age. Blade's Iron Mark Tyson impression wants to see Don's movie. Hey, who doesn't? (Besides me?) (:101)
So here it is:
No Holds Barred on disc.
Twenty jock-ass years later:
Dookie in high def.
(How?)
Finally, some money to be made! $8.00 ($14.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right)
Happy Holidays from "The Other RD"
Time to do my CM Punk impersonation here.
"I'm BBAACCKK!!!"
Missed me gang? "The Other RD" here Raging_Demons on wrestlecrapradio.com. Some of you might know me by now as my previous work on NoDQ.com, AngryMarks, & F.A.N. (my low point in my career so far). Yes I did piss off the YouTube IWC off but thanks to work & school I was hiding away for a bit. Thanks to a little thing called "illegal pictures" & "caught with some sheep" I was recruited here on this fine ole website here editing our "Wrestlecrap Radio Glossary" from time-to-time when I can but that doesn't matter now.
What matters is this...
There we go. Now then...
If I had one Christmas wish for this world today for this holiday season it would be peace & happiness throughout the world.
You know come to think of it what other things that can create peace & happiness? Strippers. I'm changing it to peace & happiness in the world; followed by all the strippers I can have sex with.
Then again...Having the WWE Divas not botch a lot would be a great thing, especially for Beth Phoenix recently on RAW. So it's Peace throughout the world, all the strippers I can have sexy time with, & Non-botchy Divas.
Wait-wait-wait-wait! How about this! If I had TWO wishes, oh yeah, it would be that I would win any Mega Numbers/Powerball/any type of lottery's 6-out of-6 numbers right & have the jackpot all to myself that way I can win the giant $250 million dollar jackpots they climb up to. Yeah! Also that wish for world peace, strippers, & non-botchy Divas.
Okay-Okay-Okay. Let's go all "Aladdin" MINUS that damn monkey & Robin Williams as the freakin' genie & have 3 wishes where my 3rd wish is the ability to make everybody that I hate go SQUISH! Michelle McCool, "Skeletor" to you & me, gone! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, POOF! Yeah! Also all that crap for world peace, strippers, Divas, & winning every Lottery out there.
You know what? Things are getting pretty complicated around here so let's make it 4 Wishes! Have all the free sexy time with strippers & no-botch Divas go here. Yeah, sounds right. So I have winning every Lottery, make "Skeletor" go bye-bye, strippers sex & Divas, & of course world peace.
Wait a minute! Take out the stripper sex, I can get all that I want by winning the Lottery! Just go in a club, "make it rain" $100 dollar bills & next thing you know I'll be breaking the ole myth of "no sex in the VIP room". So it'll be winning the Lottery whenever I want, bye-bye Rocky, no es botchy WWE Divas, then all the world peace you can have.
Then again world peace is impossible & people might get suspicious if I show up winning every Lottery there is. Hrm... Okay let's do it like this: Getting rid of the botchy WWE Divas first because it's needed for pro wrestling business, then I can have "Skeletor" & Dwayne go bye-bye from reality because who needs them?!? Winning every Lottery next but I do it sparingly like Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future 2" when he has the Sports Almanac, then all that world peace crap.
Aw crap! I forgot taking out the Bronies! They are an obnoxious bunch if you DARE attack their TV show. Damn it! Okay we take out "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" thus we get rid of those damn Bronies, winning every Lottery next, getting rid of people that I hate next, saying good-bye to all those WWE Divas that super botch...
And my 5th and final wish would be world peace.
Aw screw this crap! This is getting all complicated; I'm going to go get drunk.
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year from all of us at Wrestlecrapradio.com
"I'm BBAACCKK!!!"
Missed me gang? "The Other RD" here Raging_Demons on wrestlecrapradio.com. Some of you might know me by now as my previous work on NoDQ.com, AngryMarks, & F.A.N. (my low point in my career so far). Yes I did piss off the YouTube IWC off but thanks to work & school I was hiding away for a bit. Thanks to a little thing called "illegal pictures" & "caught with some sheep" I was recruited here on this fine ole website here editing our "Wrestlecrap Radio Glossary" from time-to-time when I can but that doesn't matter now.
What matters is this...
There we go. Now then...
If I had one Christmas wish for this world today for this holiday season it would be peace & happiness throughout the world.
You know come to think of it what other things that can create peace & happiness? Strippers. I'm changing it to peace & happiness in the world; followed by all the strippers I can have sex with.
Then again...Having the WWE Divas not botch a lot would be a great thing, especially for Beth Phoenix recently on RAW. So it's Peace throughout the world, all the strippers I can have sexy time with, & Non-botchy Divas.
Wait-wait-wait-wait! How about this! If I had TWO wishes, oh yeah, it would be that I would win any Mega Numbers/Powerball/any type of lottery's 6-out of-6 numbers right & have the jackpot all to myself that way I can win the giant $250 million dollar jackpots they climb up to. Yeah! Also that wish for world peace, strippers, & non-botchy Divas.
Okay-Okay-Okay. Let's go all "Aladdin" MINUS that damn monkey & Robin Williams as the freakin' genie & have 3 wishes where my 3rd wish is the ability to make everybody that I hate go SQUISH! Michelle McCool, "Skeletor" to you & me, gone! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, POOF! Yeah! Also all that crap for world peace, strippers, Divas, & winning every Lottery out there.
You know what? Things are getting pretty complicated around here so let's make it 4 Wishes! Have all the free sexy time with strippers & no-botch Divas go here. Yeah, sounds right. So I have winning every Lottery, make "Skeletor" go bye-bye, strippers sex & Divas, & of course world peace.
Wait a minute! Take out the stripper sex, I can get all that I want by winning the Lottery! Just go in a club, "make it rain" $100 dollar bills & next thing you know I'll be breaking the ole myth of "no sex in the VIP room". So it'll be winning the Lottery whenever I want, bye-bye Rocky, no es botchy WWE Divas, then all the world peace you can have.
Then again world peace is impossible & people might get suspicious if I show up winning every Lottery there is. Hrm... Okay let's do it like this: Getting rid of the botchy WWE Divas first because it's needed for pro wrestling business, then I can have "Skeletor" & Dwayne go bye-bye from reality because who needs them?!? Winning every Lottery next but I do it sparingly like Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future 2" when he has the Sports Almanac, then all that world peace crap.
Aw crap! I forgot taking out the Bronies! They are an obnoxious bunch if you DARE attack their TV show. Damn it! Okay we take out "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" thus we get rid of those damn Bronies, winning every Lottery next, getting rid of people that I hate next, saying good-bye to all those WWE Divas that super botch...
And my 5th and final wish would be world peace.
Aw screw this crap! This is getting all complicated; I'm going to go get drunk.
Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year from all of us at Wrestlecrapradio.com
161 Under a Full Mooney: November 13, 2009
 |
| New RAW Announcer? Sean or Ian? |
A new rumor is currently afloat: EventCenter might return to the airwaves. RD wants Sean Mooney to host it again as he watches a random thing about him. Blade of course has no recollection, but it's not due to his drinking. Somehow Craig DeGeorge doing oral is involved so Popeye wants in on the action. RD gives him five seconds as he has more important matters to take care of; he rolls a 6 and enlists F Sin's help in making another video against Damien Demento. If his adversary sings a cartoon theme, then BY GOD RD will sing his own! (:09) Of course Blade thinks he's dissing the man's penis. He wastes another Big Announcement for having an upcoming shot of his own in this skirmish.
RD was stealing from his son's Halloween stash as he took a TRIP to eat some Whoppers. (:12) (The Hershey's chocolates, not Burger King.) Blade hates them for some reason and wants to make his own rival candy - the Big Mac. He confounds RD as he does this, as expected.
Time for some Obscure News, so early in the show too! That can't be good. (:17) Blade takes an opportunity to make another football bet, this time with the Yahoo Fantasy League the duo and I are in. (RD has the Mike Checks Whackers, at the time of writing in the lead, Blade has the Midnight Blades competing with him, and my PB Justice League is desperately trying hard not to be dead last. Ah, such is my lot.) Blade decides to repeat the "I Have Something To Say" bet from the 2006-7 season. This should be actually good, for once.
Anyway, some Sad News: (:21) Lillian Garcia had an altercation in New York. She's doing fine though. Chained wallets are brought up. Catalina "Sailor James" White's name brings Popeye back, for slightly longer this time too to make Blade chuckle. She's doing porn now, as the two have fun with her name. That is something two people named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton are experts at, apparently.
WWE Announcer Lauren Mayhew is trying to give away copies of her singing. Blade wants he and RD to dress up as Wookies and kiss each other, but only if Popeye can watch.
The BabyTrolla gives birth to Candice Michelle being pregnant, or something. So at least we know what she's up to now that she's gone from wrestling. Hit the porn music! This gives an excuse for another Don Mason story, so RD plays the old Current News music for it. In this case Don bought a Right Said Fred album in the 90s, but that's not the story; he's just getting heavily drunk at a bar while thinking how good ejaculating in a woman is.
The HorseTrolla neighs. (:37) Jim Ross had to come to the defense of Mickie James to protect her from a random fan 'congregating' on the Interwebs. It's as good an excuse as any to call him up. JR doesn't like Dave Meltzer since it's the in-thing right now, and he continues to give RD a case of the giggles. This year he's sure to bring in the customers with his new gravy and his new slogans and giving people blowjobs. But back to the whole subject in the first place, did you remember that at all? Blade gets Sir Alec (and his Four Seasons music) to read the fan's missive. (:50)
Today's
Johnny Four is so stuck he repeats the previous week's 'news' of Hogan and Bischoff coming to TNA. That's it. (:58) RD wants to do some live remotes for Black Friday, Blade wants to take Stubby with him.
This Week on Current News, (:62) Hogan is still up against Flair Down Under. RD reads down the card, and if you want to see Brutus Beefcake facing Heidenreich then this is the show for you! Also Flair got married again.
Seventeen Syllables of Speech:
New RAW Announcer?
Mooney is back from the dead.
Don't forget Ian.
156 Flashback: September 4, 2009
77 minutes
The RAW match between Big Show and Mark Henry gives RD flashbacks to the last time they fought, when the Co-Host was heel managing the World's Strongest Man. His wrestling career ended that very day when Big Show used his mighty skillet hands on him, dooming him to radio progrems like this one. Co-Host Blade Braxton, professional comedian, has no sympathy for him, seeing as he still has a tailbone injury from St. Louis. He wants talking animals on the show. I thought Stubby was one? Sad News though: (:09) Good Friends cereal is no longer being stocked at Blade's grocery. Average news - that old and decayed Gymini figure is still hanging on for dear life.
:14 As expected from last week, Stevie J of Angry Marks calls, and immediately mocks RD reading their ad copy as Jeff Foxworthy. They mix it up for a while as Blade falls in love with Stevie. Mr. J then taunts Damien Demento, asking him to go after his site instead of WrestlingCrip.com. I don't know; knowing the man, I fully expect him to attack us next. SPEAKING OF Demento, Blade will have yet another Big Announcement concerning him. Because of course he will. RD of course does his Gay Popeye, continuing his schizophrenic trend.
No TRIP to the Grocery, Celebrity or otherwise (:24) so Blade is forced to fill in the gap with Sir Alec calling in. This week, can John Morrison and Jeff Hardy bake a cake together?
Obscure News. (:32) Sadly Wrestlicious has yet to get a TV contract, even though it's supposed to debut right about now. RD looks at Oxygen's schedule on the earlier Thursday. Don Mason used to watch womens' operations on Lifetime. Gay Popeye has no friends. Shane Helms was Twittering while drinking. Meanwhile the Lions manage to barely defeat the Colts. SPEAKING OF drinking Candice Michelle is Captain Morgan's Morganette of the Month. She's hosting a bra & panties match "in the near future if it hasn't happened already." The two try to check the Captain at his site for more information. The HorseTrolla lifts the tail for Mickie James' 30th birthday.
The Inglorious OTG has this week's Question (4) (:49) but he just uses it for bad jokes. Hydrox cookies are no longer with us. (I did know they were sick.)
Mrs Deal knocks on RD's door with something for him (:55) which turns out to be the new TNA correspondent. Somehow Blade had the time to go to a garage sale to buy something for him (most likely while drunk). Say hello to the TrollaTron 2600, Johnny Four. (It's an older model.) RD predicts disaster already. What does he have to say about Traci Brooks not being in Playboy Magazine? "No sticky pages it's going to be a sticky keyboard." Then he becomes stuck and just rolls over. So Stubby is summoned (:64) just to give RD an excuse to call him a rascal.
Current News. (:67) WWE's Rise and Fall of WCW DVD isn't so good. (It's no The Death of WCW after all.) RD collects Midnight Express scrapbooks from Jim Cornette. We Librarians and this very here site are again fine young eggs. (I prefer to be scrambled though.) The Shockmaster was on RAW.
Seventeen Syllables to Fred Ottman:
Shockmaster returns.
How will Fred Ottman respond?
Tugboat in a dress.
The RAW match between Big Show and Mark Henry gives RD flashbacks to the last time they fought, when the Co-Host was heel managing the World's Strongest Man. His wrestling career ended that very day when Big Show used his mighty skillet hands on him, dooming him to radio progrems like this one. Co-Host Blade Braxton, professional comedian, has no sympathy for him, seeing as he still has a tailbone injury from St. Louis. He wants talking animals on the show. I thought Stubby was one? Sad News though: (:09) Good Friends cereal is no longer being stocked at Blade's grocery. Average news - that old and decayed Gymini figure is still hanging on for dear life.
:14 As expected from last week, Stevie J of Angry Marks calls, and immediately mocks RD reading their ad copy as Jeff Foxworthy. They mix it up for a while as Blade falls in love with Stevie. Mr. J then taunts Damien Demento, asking him to go after his site instead of WrestlingCrip.com. I don't know; knowing the man, I fully expect him to attack us next. SPEAKING OF Demento, Blade will have yet another Big Announcement concerning him. Because of course he will. RD of course does his Gay Popeye, continuing his schizophrenic trend.
No TRIP to the Grocery, Celebrity or otherwise (:24) so Blade is forced to fill in the gap with Sir Alec calling in. This week, can John Morrison and Jeff Hardy bake a cake together?
Obscure News. (:32) Sadly Wrestlicious has yet to get a TV contract, even though it's supposed to debut right about now. RD looks at Oxygen's schedule on the earlier Thursday. Don Mason used to watch womens' operations on Lifetime. Gay Popeye has no friends. Shane Helms was Twittering while drinking. Meanwhile the Lions manage to barely defeat the Colts. SPEAKING OF drinking Candice Michelle is Captain Morgan's Morganette of the Month. She's hosting a bra & panties match "in the near future if it hasn't happened already." The two try to check the Captain at his site for more information. The HorseTrolla lifts the tail for Mickie James' 30th birthday.
The Inglorious OTG has this week's Question (4) (:49) but he just uses it for bad jokes. Hydrox cookies are no longer with us. (I did know they were sick.)
 |
| Based on the terrible Atari 2600 E.T. game |
Current News. (:67) WWE's Rise and Fall of WCW DVD isn't so good. (It's no The Death of WCW after all.) RD collects Midnight Express scrapbooks from Jim Cornette. We Librarians and this very here site are again fine young eggs. (I prefer to be scrambled though.) The Shockmaster was on RAW.
Seventeen Syllables to Fred Ottman:
Shockmaster returns.
How will Fred Ottman respond?
Tugboat in a dress.
152 Seguepalooza: July 31, 2009
81 minutes
We continue the mockery of ZZ Top at RAW last week. RD wants Vince to sign the Crickets to his shows. He also wants to resurrect old segments. Sadly Fantasy Booking Island is not one of them.
Blade hints at a new segment with the help of The Twilight Zone. (:05) There is no show next week, as RD will be at lovely Phoenix, Arizona. Blade mentions a Loverboy song that RD doesn't know about. Time to hit YouTube for that. See Mike Reno and Beth Phoenix star in Donkey Kong: The Movie! (:06) The video prematurely ejaculates, and so does Blade in response. RD reads new Angry Marks' ad copy, "now 125% more angry".
RD finally has a Celebrity to go with him to the Grocery (:16) This week it's WCR friend Jonny Fairplay. He goes to Trader Joe's, where his cereal of choice is Cookie Crisp. He was at some cantaloupe festival recently, but didn't get along with John Cena oddly. Some discussion about Cena ensues. Mr. Fairplay can be found here.
For some reason we wonder about any potential Referees' TRIP to the Grocery (:32) of which we have some random tales of referees.
:36 Obscure News. Could Robert Englund be a potential RAW Guest Host? RD is surprised that Freddy Krueger will be played by Rorschach in the upcoming movie. Gymini doll sales figures - 4 sets left from three weeks ago. Another long Blade Braxton segue.
Eric Bischoff attempts to help the economy by suggesting taxing fat people. No, I have no idea why no one is taking him seriously. (:44) taxfatpeople.com IS taken. Blade did his own taxing in his earlier days in yet another long segue.
There's a new Shockmaster action figure, and it comes with Stormtrooper helmet as illustrated. (:48) Blade does his Nathaniel impression. Blade takes note of the Mr Fuji figure with running number. The BabyTrolla cries, (:55) Francine gives birth. (Congratulations to her.)
:57 The Question of the Week comes from Frank in Cleveland, asking about TNA Correspondents. The Co-Fruitcakes take a look over the list on our site, going over their people for a bit. Blade has a Big Announcement: (:60) He's found a new TNA Correspondent and he promises to have him on next time. Oh, and Tracy Brooks poses for Playboy. (:62)
John Thomas calls in (:63) He is now looking for a Mike Chalk, of Chalk Outline.
:68 Current Wrestling News now has the Coliseum Video music. THE Brian Kendrick has been released. The new induction this week is of Gooker Nominee Braden Walker. A final settlement has been reached on the messy Hogan divorce, leaving Linda free for Blade. He reminds us how his hooker roommate used to lactate for money. He also tries comparing the Big Show's penis size to Shaq's on RAW and discusses Vince trying to anally rape Triple H on his birthday.
Seventeen Syllables:
Hunter is fourty.
Eat some cake and play pin the
Tail on the dead dog.
RD: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."
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| 10% of all proceeds go to Lucasfilm. |
Blade hints at a new segment with the help of The Twilight Zone. (:05) There is no show next week, as RD will be at lovely Phoenix, Arizona. Blade mentions a Loverboy song that RD doesn't know about. Time to hit YouTube for that. See Mike Reno and Beth Phoenix star in Donkey Kong: The Movie! (:06) The video prematurely ejaculates, and so does Blade in response. RD reads new Angry Marks' ad copy, "now 125% more angry".
RD finally has a Celebrity to go with him to the Grocery (:16) This week it's WCR friend Jonny Fairplay. He goes to Trader Joe's, where his cereal of choice is Cookie Crisp. He was at some cantaloupe festival recently, but didn't get along with John Cena oddly. Some discussion about Cena ensues. Mr. Fairplay can be found here.
For some reason we wonder about any potential Referees' TRIP to the Grocery (:32) of which we have some random tales of referees.
:36 Obscure News. Could Robert Englund be a potential RAW Guest Host? RD is surprised that Freddy Krueger will be played by Rorschach in the upcoming movie. Gymini doll sales figures - 4 sets left from three weeks ago. Another long Blade Braxton segue.
Eric Bischoff attempts to help the economy by suggesting taxing fat people. No, I have no idea why no one is taking him seriously. (:44) taxfatpeople.com IS taken. Blade did his own taxing in his earlier days in yet another long segue.
There's a new Shockmaster action figure, and it comes with Stormtrooper helmet as illustrated. (:48) Blade does his Nathaniel impression. Blade takes note of the Mr Fuji figure with running number. The BabyTrolla cries, (:55) Francine gives birth. (Congratulations to her.)
 |
| PB's List (Exclamation Point) of favorite TNA "correspondents" |
John Thomas calls in (:63) He is now looking for a Mike Chalk, of Chalk Outline.
:68 Current Wrestling News now has the Coliseum Video music. THE Brian Kendrick has been released. The new induction this week is of Gooker Nominee Braden Walker. A final settlement has been reached on the messy Hogan divorce, leaving Linda free for Blade. He reminds us how his hooker roommate used to lactate for money. He also tries comparing the Big Show's penis size to Shaq's on RAW and discusses Vince trying to anally rape Triple H on his birthday.
Seventeen Syllables:
Hunter is fourty.
Eat some cake and play pin the
Tail on the dead dog.
RD: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."
146 The FM Menace: May 22, 2009
77 minutes
Mike Check is 30 days away from 'breaking' Johnny Six's record, before he misses doing so and the Co-Hosses are left to find yet another TNA person. Or perhaps resurrect Nathaniel, the greater of two evils. The Sad Music is played for that inevitability, and all the other former deceased people before him, except Stubby who somehow returned. Blade: "Things like that happen sometimes."
Mike himself is on hisDeath Trip Whirlwind Tour across the mainland, to increase buy rates for a show listened to by 12 people. He's at a convention for the 10th anniversary of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace at some vague place or other. Sadly, he's not there with Blade's friend (Corey Horny) Diamond. Blade wants a Photoshop of Sith Lord Alfred Hayes as a ghost in Return of the Jedi.
Greg is not happy about a globalinternetbrothel.net, taken or not. Blade has fantasies of ventriloquist dummies. Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? Blade is selling Stubby-signed prints. (:14) SPEAKING OF people spending money, the offer to buy the Katie Vick outfit has increased to $1200. Blade wants it to be higher, else he'd probably have sex in it again. [SELL! SELL! SELL! --Iggy]
Let's go to Mike Check at that convention. (:16) Some random playing of the theme song from 'down the hall' is heard as Mike reports in with numerous WWCR The Whacker bumper stickers. While talking he bumps into sound bites of a probe droid, a tauntaun, a swearing Trandoshan, some 'red trashcan', and some roving band of Jawas speaking 'Mexican'. He essentially has no idea where he is or what film he's meant to cover. But he DOES get a Virgil-style hit to the groin from the aptly named Jake Lloyd Jr. Quote he: "YIPPEE!" RD jokes on Mike still non-reporting on TNA news, although these new-fangled Star Wars movies seem like news to report for the fellow Crappers.
Obscure Wrestling News: (:24) While Terri Runnell's house contest/spam has been canceled due to the lack of gullible people, the ripped-off entrants still have to be refunded their entry fee. The real Terri thinks they've already been paid. Sad News: she really wanted to help those people. Even more Sad News: The (outdated) site is still up to steal money, as far as I can tell. (:31)
More news about Ashley Massaro: A site has a list of clients to her service, including Mickey Rourke. Blade makes another reference to his lactating escort roommate. Some random discussion about the Diva Search 'winners' turns into talk about midgets and a possible Midget Search, with Bridget the Midget and Midgets bouncing on couches, which is the only thing RD can remember from watching wrestling from the past four years. Blade insults them all the while. What happened to cripples (and standing up for them)? Randy Orton, Father Time. (:41) RD does not understand him. Jillian Hall is engaged to a Dick. (:42) Gymini dolls. Blade wants to see how well the nearby store sells them every week.
Sir Alec makes a return Fan Fiction appearance. (:46) No story again, but he does read us some random Myspace message from New Jack. He's angry at everyone!
Question of the Week. (:52) Listener #4 Goldenbane thinks people were angry Roddy Piper was fighting with Robert Downey Jr. Perhaps he didn't like that Charlie Chaplin biopic of his. Blade still wants to see some anus action.
Mike Check Strikes Back! (:56) He saw someone in Mandalorian armor calling himself Boba Foot, but he hasn't seen many women around yet. We're just in time to have him watch a lightsaber duel too at a dangerously close distance. Don't they have safety regulations at those places? Sure enough he gets 'struck down', Blade doing his dramatic "Noooo!", but it's only a flesh wound and he's alright...for now. He plays Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life. (What with their being 'light' sabers and all.)
Before we can talk more wrestling about Ric Flair and Vince's feud with the NBA (what, on this show?) Jim Ross calls. (:64) He's angry - again - but at this point the sauce has already dried on the rack of ribs and not had that much of an effect anymore. He's angry at working twice as long, or something or other. He also calls Michael Cole a certain term, which RD finds offensive enough to bleep out, despite the fact that they've been saying it over the years without doing anything about it. Perhaps RD's being forgetful. He wants some human/jawa barbecue as seen in A New Hope. He has some video blog Big Announcement next week, meaning has Blade has three things he'll want to tell us but then will promptly forget about.
The HorseTrolla asks about Mickie James' new outfit. (:71) Vickie Guerrero is some sort of dancing Miss Wrestlemania.
Seventeen Inches:
Vickie's got the Sash.
She's Miss Wrestlemania.
She doesn't miss meals.
Mike Check is 30 days away from 'breaking' Johnny Six's record, before he misses doing so and the Co-Hosses are left to find yet another TNA person. Or perhaps resurrect Nathaniel, the greater of two evils. The Sad Music is played for that inevitability, and all the other former deceased people before him, except Stubby who somehow returned. Blade: "Things like that happen sometimes."
Mike himself is on his
Greg is not happy about a globalinternetbrothel.net, taken or not. Blade has fantasies of ventriloquist dummies. Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? Blade is selling Stubby-signed prints. (:14) SPEAKING OF people spending money, the offer to buy the Katie Vick outfit has increased to $1200. Blade wants it to be higher, else he'd probably have sex in it again. [SELL! SELL! SELL! --Iggy]
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| Image by The Sam |
Let's go to Mike Check at that convention. (:16) Some random playing of the theme song from 'down the hall' is heard as Mike reports in with numerous WWCR The Whacker bumper stickers. While talking he bumps into sound bites of a probe droid, a tauntaun, a swearing Trandoshan, some 'red trashcan', and some roving band of Jawas speaking 'Mexican'. He essentially has no idea where he is or what film he's meant to cover. But he DOES get a Virgil-style hit to the groin from the aptly named Jake Lloyd Jr. Quote he: "YIPPEE!" RD jokes on Mike still non-reporting on TNA news, although these new-fangled Star Wars movies seem like news to report for the fellow Crappers.
Obscure Wrestling News: (:24) While Terri Runnell's house contest/spam has been canceled due to the lack of gullible people, the ripped-off entrants still have to be refunded their entry fee. The real Terri thinks they've already been paid. Sad News: she really wanted to help those people. Even more Sad News: The (outdated) site is still up to steal money, as far as I can tell. (:31)
More news about Ashley Massaro: A site has a list of clients to her service, including Mickey Rourke. Blade makes another reference to his lactating escort roommate. Some random discussion about the Diva Search 'winners' turns into talk about midgets and a possible Midget Search, with Bridget the Midget and Midgets bouncing on couches, which is the only thing RD can remember from watching wrestling from the past four years. Blade insults them all the while. What happened to cripples (and standing up for them)? Randy Orton, Father Time. (:41) RD does not understand him. Jillian Hall is engaged to a Dick. (:42) Gymini dolls. Blade wants to see how well the nearby store sells them every week.
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| Jillian Hall with 3 caramel apples |
Question of the Week. (:52) Listener #4 Goldenbane thinks people were angry Roddy Piper was fighting with Robert Downey Jr. Perhaps he didn't like that Charlie Chaplin biopic of his. Blade still wants to see some anus action.
Mike Check Strikes Back! (:56) He saw someone in Mandalorian armor calling himself Boba Foot, but he hasn't seen many women around yet. We're just in time to have him watch a lightsaber duel too at a dangerously close distance. Don't they have safety regulations at those places? Sure enough he gets 'struck down', Blade doing his dramatic "Noooo!", but it's only a flesh wound and he's alright...for now. He plays Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life. (What with their being 'light' sabers and all.)
Before we can talk more wrestling about Ric Flair and Vince's feud with the NBA (what, on this show?) Jim Ross calls. (:64) He's angry - again - but at this point the sauce has already dried on the rack of ribs and not had that much of an effect anymore. He's angry at working twice as long, or something or other. He also calls Michael Cole a certain term, which RD finds offensive enough to bleep out, despite the fact that they've been saying it over the years without doing anything about it. Perhaps RD's being forgetful. He wants some human/jawa barbecue as seen in A New Hope. He has some video blog Big Announcement next week, meaning has Blade has three things he'll want to tell us but then will promptly forget about.
The HorseTrolla asks about Mickie James' new outfit. (:71) Vickie Guerrero is some sort of dancing Miss Wrestlemania.
Seventeen Inches:
Vickie's got the Sash.
She's Miss Wrestlemania.
She doesn't miss meals.
144 Cursed!: May 8, 2009
71 minutes
Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows.
This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")
Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)
No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.
Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.
The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.
The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on wwe.com): "I'd make Mickie sticky".
RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.
No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)
Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.
Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.
Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows. This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")
Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)
No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.
Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.
The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.
The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on wwe.com): "I'd make Mickie sticky".
RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.
No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)
Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.
Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.
136 Horny Jim Ross: February 20, 2009
76 minutes
A find of some rare outtakes of Jim Ross (in this week's It Came From YouTube!) prove him to be a fan of Dark Journey. (Well wouldn't you?) Blade wants him to be the next singer for Loverboy and compares him to Don Mason's portrayal on Revenge of the Black Scorpion (on the Archive Disc, available from fine sites on the Internets.) Our now Horny Jim Ross calls in. (:04) Now that he is no longer being intimate with his wife he focuses his sexual attention on poor Miss Linda Newton (and rather forcibly too at that). Some of the good old porn music helps him get in the mood as he he leaves for some corn oil. Blade wants to read strange/slash wrestling fanfiction on the show. (:12) RD skat-sings Vivaldi in response. Blade is shirtless this week, for a change.
RD bought cookies from "The Fudge Factory" on his TRIP to the Grocery. (:18) The Book of Lists (Exclamation Point) and Death of WCW are now available on the Amazon Kindle, sadly still not available in Canada. (:23) Blade turned 34 last week. "What a filthy show this is!" he says. RD plays random sounds in response, but did send his Co-Hoss a figure of a screaming Kirk in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, complete with four extra hands. I just hope Blade doesn't hallucinate Kirk is Mae Young and start pulling hands from his ass. [Blade spent Valentine's Day at the strip club, so send your future donations in one dollar bills. —Iggy]
Obscure Wrestling News: (:29) Lacey Von Erich appears in Playboy. The recently retired Victoria wants to do some MMA. (:32) The HorseTrolla lifts the tail: Francine is pregnant. That's all we get. (:34) Val "The Freetarian" Venus has some random "provocative" T-Shirts for sale in yet another desperate attempt to make money. I'm probably going to buy one for Iggy and make Morley happy with the ONE person who would buy that. [Oops, I forgot and didn't buy even a single one.]
Question of the Week (:40) comes from - myself? That's a surprise. (3) I ask: What is Blade's Big Announcement? He promises to reveal it 'soon'. Some talk of his karaoke, sadly no new song made in a year by himself or with his Hobo Six.
The topic turns to Blade's auctions, where a man by the name of James has won the auction of Katie Vick's panties. The two talk to him (:44) where he reveals he has a Obi-Wan Kenobi cup with him to match RD's WWE Niagara Falls (and my Canadiens one). Blade tantalizes that Don Mason would turn into Obi-Wan with the power of the Force...of enough weed. James is also the first person to have a site from Global Internet (http://the-reactor.org/) but the having sex part from getting it was delayed slightly. He clarifies that he did the good and honorable thing and decided to just send the money rather than ask for the clothes in return, something I can commend him for. In return Jim Ross sent a gift of his own to James, and calls back on the show to talk to him in his own special way. Said gift is a pair of Oklahoma Sooners' boxers.
Now for something the world totally didn't want, a new TNA correspondent! (:59) RD promises a "New Era" in TNA reporting and brings his newest recruit, one Mike Check to do things and...Well, do you remember when RD wanted someone with 'radio experience'? Well this is what he gets, to the letter. He rambles and malapropisms on "WWCR with Blake Braxton" and his time as Macon Dixon at WPEZ "The Pez" in Macon Georgia, makes some ode to Billy Gunn (who worked with him while Mike was Pecos Bill at KSII "The Kiss" in El Paso, Texas) and just cuts to a Phil Collins song at :67.
Ah, what the hell. THIS guy's my new favorite TNA guy, pushing David Lee Roth down to second place.
Current Wrestling News takes us from there. Christian returns to ECW. RD is not looking forward to Wrestlemania this year, much like last year. (:71) Blade has a idea for an induction of Mickey Rourke in case his appearance fails to level out. But RD can't stop thinking of Jim Ross and what he's going to do with all that corn oil.
Seventeen syllables about Dark Journey:
It is nightmare fuel.
I hope I don't dream about
JR's Dark Journey.
 |
| Dark Journey |
RD bought cookies from "The Fudge Factory" on his TRIP to the Grocery. (:18) The Book of Lists (Exclamation Point) and Death of WCW are now available on the Amazon Kindle, sadly still not available in Canada. (:23) Blade turned 34 last week. "What a filthy show this is!" he says. RD plays random sounds in response, but did send his Co-Hoss a figure of a screaming Kirk in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, complete with four extra hands. I just hope Blade doesn't hallucinate Kirk is Mae Young and start pulling hands from his ass. [Blade spent Valentine's Day at the strip club, so send your future donations in one dollar bills. —Iggy]
Obscure Wrestling News: (:29) Lacey Von Erich appears in Playboy. The recently retired Victoria wants to do some MMA. (:32) The HorseTrolla lifts the tail: Francine is pregnant. That's all we get. (:34) Val "The Freetarian" Venus has some random "provocative" T-Shirts for sale in yet another desperate attempt to make money. I'm probably going to buy one for Iggy and make Morley happy with the ONE person who would buy that. [Oops, I forgot and didn't buy even a single one.]
Question of the Week (:40) comes from - myself? That's a surprise. (3) I ask: What is Blade's Big Announcement? He promises to reveal it 'soon'. Some talk of his karaoke, sadly no new song made in a year by himself or with his Hobo Six.
The topic turns to Blade's auctions, where a man by the name of James has won the auction of Katie Vick's panties. The two talk to him (:44) where he reveals he has a Obi-Wan Kenobi cup with him to match RD's WWE Niagara Falls (and my Canadiens one). Blade tantalizes that Don Mason would turn into Obi-Wan with the power of the Force...of enough weed. James is also the first person to have a site from Global Internet (http://the-reactor.org/) but the having sex part from getting it was delayed slightly. He clarifies that he did the good and honorable thing and decided to just send the money rather than ask for the clothes in return, something I can commend him for. In return Jim Ross sent a gift of his own to James, and calls back on the show to talk to him in his own special way. Said gift is a pair of Oklahoma Sooners' boxers.
Now for something the world totally didn't want, a new TNA correspondent! (:59) RD promises a "New Era" in TNA reporting and brings his newest recruit, one Mike Check to do things and...Well, do you remember when RD wanted someone with 'radio experience'? Well this is what he gets, to the letter. He rambles and malapropisms on "WWCR with Blake Braxton" and his time as Macon Dixon at WPEZ "The Pez" in Macon Georgia, makes some ode to Billy Gunn (who worked with him while Mike was Pecos Bill at KSII "The Kiss" in El Paso, Texas) and just cuts to a Phil Collins song at :67.
Ah, what the hell. THIS guy's my new favorite TNA guy, pushing David Lee Roth down to second place.
Current Wrestling News takes us from there. Christian returns to ECW. RD is not looking forward to Wrestlemania this year, much like last year. (:71) Blade has a idea for an induction of Mickey Rourke in case his appearance fails to level out. But RD can't stop thinking of Jim Ross and what he's going to do with all that corn oil.
Seventeen syllables about Dark Journey:
It is nightmare fuel.
I hope I don't dream about
JR's Dark Journey.