297 Mad Ex: FuRD Road: August 30, 2020

15 Years of WCR: 12 Listeners Enter, 12 Listeners Leave

100 minutes

Blade feels old. RD: "You're telling me." SPEAKING OF Verne Gagne masturbating before killing somebody...  

This radio progrem was so big it was delayed due to technical difficulties and made Blade tired, then hungover, then drunk.

RD shills his WCW Halloween Havoc coasters. (:11).

RD is not sure if it requires less energy to listen to the progrem, or to read its summary here. "They're very tortured, I can give you that." He vows to have Co-Librarians on the show...somehow.

RD: "Everyone's more talented than I am."
Blade: "You have no idea how talented we are."
RD: "I didn't say 'we', I said 'me'. That's the difference." (:16)

RD has Kroger's Private Selection General Tso's Chicken in chip form. Unsurprisingly, they taste awful. Blade wants to target the food product market demographic.

Blade had tried enticing people on Facebook with random sexual innuendo to (have RD) call one chosen out of a hat. RD mocks him correctly on his not getting a single response, causing Blade to laugh uncontrollably. (:23) As you might expect, RD's attempt...disconnects Blade. How is this a bad thing? Blade filibusters by reading something by "Rose" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't know who was Becky. (:27) This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

Ricky Morton pleads with people on Twitter not to send him pizzas. (:30) Blade wouldn't mind paying for unexpected pizzas, expectantly missing the whole point. This prompts RD to give Jim a call. Sadly he doesn't order a pizza for him. (:35) RD insults Blade through Jim for misremembering things (but remembering he drove a braking down turkey van among his many business ventures).

Mickie James is on Raw again. (:40) RD still remembers her feud with Trish Stratus. Blade filibusters by reading something by "Christensen" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't like Trish. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

Tammy Sytch is in jail again. (:44) RD does his Nathaniel impression. He hopes that this is the last that will be heard of her for a good long while. For now.

RD: "We don't do scripts...obviously." (:51) 

He is shocked that for today's Question, "Blade has this". Dan on Twitter remembers RD's shaved back. RD corrects that it wasn't during his bachelor party. Blade does his Stubby impression to repeat one of his lines from their Roast of many moons ago. (:56)

Sad News: Blade will be moving out of Don's basement. Bitey has no comment. (:61)

RD disregards Blade's Question for another. (:64) Steve Mcclernon in Glasgow also listened to the whole canon, poor man. He remembers Marcho Madness, old RD&BS tapings, Mike Check still not properly doing the TNA market, Unsolved Mysteries remaining unsolved, Blade hearing actual TNA news from Corey Udler's impressions while visiting him at Chicago, Fun with Tammy, Paige replacing jailbird Tammy, and being baffled by their references and sports.

RD also checked the F4W Board, where someone noted that sped up Blade laughing sounds like Jim Neidhart. (:70) Blade remembers wearing shoe polish to look like Darryl Hall in third grade. If RD had his hair back he would leave it wet ala Bret Hart. Blade may not look like Brian Pillman in his youth or his AEW son, but he shares his madness. RD continues to make baffling references.

As for their favorite guests, (:75) Blade has Rebel eating cereal, 2011 Halloween Piper, the Zombie, and Kari Wuhrer. RD has run-in Piper, John Tenta, and his mother. Blade filibusters by remembering his ex-girlfriend who was tired of hearing about Eric Bischoff. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

RD fails to find Ken Patera on Cameo. (:91) The Co-Fruitcakes are still unimpressed by WWE. Someone asked Blade why he hasn't done his Ratings Reaper impression in a while. He's too distracted by whoever is left in the company throwing all their shit at the wall to impress Vince, like Shane McMahon's Fight Club rip-off. RD compares them both to the Apter Mag's complaining Old Man. He then repeats his Nathaniel impression. "We're like every other podcast now."

Blade sings about not wanting to go beyond Thunderdome.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 15th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, coastymarshmellow.com (new), wrestlecrapradio.com
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 6. Wrong turns, prank phone calls, special, Stratus vs James Wrestlemania match, Rebel and Dynamite, getting people on the show.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Blade's Ex Girlfriend, Jim, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (2), Stubby, Bitey, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (3)

 

• F-Bombs:  3. Jim, Jim (2), Blade's Ex Girlfriend 

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  2
• Blade Time Outs:  10
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Dan
  
• Just had a flashback WrestleCrap Radio flashback while on vacation.  There’s some dudes with hairy backs on the beach and it reminded me of RD’s bachelor party where the DJ said "somebody shave that guy's back". Thanks for the laughs.  That was not my bachelor party.

 

• Question of the Week from: Unknown
  
• Hey RD and Blade, in Scotland we went into lockdown in March and I’ve been working from home ever since. To pass the time, I made the decision to go back and listen to every WrestleCrap Radio from the beginning, which I finished this morning. Should I be worried about my decision making skills? Yes.

 

• Favorite Memories: Marcho Madness, RD and Blade hybrid shows, TNA News 14 years in took five people, Fun with Tammy Episode, Turn the Page.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  All-Time WrestleCrap Radio Guests
• RD:  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, John Tenta, Momma Deal (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Kari Wuhrer, ECW Zombie, Rebel

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, but a song instead. 

(to the tune of “We Don't Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner)

Outside of the ring
Digital wreckage
Vince made a mistake this time

We were once mark fans
The New Generation (The New Generation)
The ones that watched in ‘95

And I wonder if Raw is ever gonna change
Boring year after year
Wrestling’s not the same

We don’t need to see Benoit
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

All the mark fans say
We don’t need to see Benoit (We don’t need to see Benoit)
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes (We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes)
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

294 Sleep Stampede: May 25, 2020

One of the 12 listeners during this episode...with worst looking belt.

76 minutes

Blade is already sleepy in the afternoon. It's almost as if he's doing actual work! He is spending his time indoors re-listening to the whole podcast and slowly going mad, poor bastard. He tried the whole Star Trek canon, before he got distracted to Troma movies, before he got distracted again.

Blade: "My mind has a tendency of wondering."
RD: "I've never noticed this."

Distracted Blade is also a master of timing.
Blade: "Our big anniversary shows have been timed so they're like...double bombastic. Our 200th episode was our 5th anniversary show."
RD: "The output ain't what it once was, kids."
...
Blade: "You guys should have heard me back when we started this show."
RD: "It's amazing how much funnier we are off the air."

RD suspects I have bugged the tin can and string so I can get the jump on insulting and mocking Brad.

...

He is absolutely correct. How did he know? I guess I have to readjust my ways now. For one thing, I need to update my SpyTrolla 5000.

Blade never likes going to the grocery regardless of the situation, unlike RD. (:14) The latter went with his wife to Sam's Club to purchase a giant 2 pack (11 ounces each) of Red, White and Blue Crunch. Blade has an unopened box of Boo Berry from 2004 with 11 servings in it.

RD repeats month-old news about XFL Commissioner Oliver Luck suing Vince for $25 million. (:21) Anyway, Vince may be trying to secretly buy it back. You don't say. [Or maybe not? Or maybe not not?]

Jim calls to get annoyed by RD. (:27) He's stuck at an Arizonan bookstore for his "book tour" and wants to live in RD's basement. RD gives him and by extension Blade some advice. "Shove this show up your ass!" Jim replies in between (Blade's) laughing.

You know what that means...?

Bitey "might be over the show" according to Blade. (:31)

Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch are expecting. This angered Jim Cornette for some reason.

Matt Striker is a reality show contestant competing to impregnate somebody. I don't know either. [If you were wondering he finished 8th on "Labor of Love". - Erik Majorwitz]

Mickie James now has a podcast of her own, with Victoria and SoCal Val as "Grown Ass Women". (:38) The two approve of their attempt.

Tam is back on OnlyFans. (:44) The two do not approve of her attempt. RD does his Nathaniel impression. Even Blade is slightly tongue-tied.

RD: "It's not that you've matured and you've become a better person; it's just due to being lazy."
...
Blade: "I'm better than you."

Simon Beach is first on Facebook. He asks how Parts Unknown is dealing with the lockdown. (:50) RD ignores Blade's response since it involves his mythical Yearbook.

What are some great looking belts? (:51) Blade has a seizure trying to understand what RD has to say. He likes the 80's green Intercontinental, Savage's winged eagle, and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. RD instead has the worst looking belts: Warrior's rainbows, the Cena spinner (ruthlessly aggressive spinning!), and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. It ruined Ric Flair's original run with the digitized Big Gold Belt such that he once had to carry a Tag Team belt. This was done instead of, say, WWF crafting another, like what Ted DiBiase once did in that one vignette. RD wishes there was a playset for that, but they leave discussion of that for another later recording.

Double or Nothing's Stadium Stampede greatly pleased the two, even without any angry cows or bulls (doesn't the horse count?). (:66) RD remembers when Sammy Guevara was in WWE only for Lacey Evans to make fun of him. Show attendee Iron Mark yawns.

Some Syllables:
Tyson All Elite.
He was there to present the belt.
Double or Not-yawn.

"I fell asleep; that haiku had eighteen syllables."



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. RD and Blade, horrible NES games.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Just woke up.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jim, Iron Mark Tyson
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  2
  
• Blade Time Outs: 8 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Simon Beach
• How do you think Parts Unknown is coping with the global lockdown?  What’s their plan going forward to protect lines and reopen Parts Unknown High?  That’s a good one. (Blade with his last gasp breath)

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Three best/worst looking championship belts
• RD:  (worst) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, any Cena spinner belt, any Ultimate Warrior pastel leather belt
• Blade:  (best) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, WWF Winged Eagle World Championship belt, Green WWF Intercontinental Belt

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Seems some fans attention spans may vary:
  Tyson All Elite.
  He was there to present the belt.
  Double or Not-yawn.

293 Fun House: April 12, 2020

Squeal Like A Pig, Allen!

93 minutes

Blade's audio setup returns him to Smooth Jazz. RD's audio setup returns him to Jeff Foxworthy.

Blade threatens to talk about wrestling before he coughs into the microphone. RD thinks Tam's release and the global pandemic are related.

Blade bought some custom made coasters from RD. He has also made some WC related ones with the help of his wife.

Bitey is taking a break from soundbiting Fantasy Booking Island and using a HulkTrolla the other day. (:10)

RD's tournament is down to the Final between Katie Vick and David Arquette. (:12) RD was surprised by Judy Bagwell's path all the way to the Conference Finals including Giant Gonzales, but even she could not stop runaway Katie who was up in the 90s and a...69 to the Gooker (who was also up in the 90s). Beaver Cleavage also got high due to weak competition. Meanwhile Arquette went beyond the Shockmaster (and No Way Outback Jack). The Yeti had a Cinderella run defeating original worst gimmick Red Rooster. More mockery of him ensues. Meat also erected himself  beyond Al Wilson by 0.5%, Naked Mideon beat the Boogeyman, and the Black Scorpion disappeared. Blade wonders if some of their footage will appear in Arquette's upcoming documentary.

Sad News: Blade forgot to send in a predictive bracket.

Sadder News: Both vote for the first time. Katie is currently in the lead.

Saddest News: Brakus was not one of the contenders, but he was extensively and insultingly made fun of by Jim Ross and Vince Russo in Vice TV's Dark Side of the Ring series' latest episode on the Brawl For All. (:29) RD once ran away from New Jack. Blade almost stayed in a hotel room with him, but Mustafa did give him a beer once. He does his Jeff Foxworthy impression. "God bless Doc." He does his Jim Ross impression.

[To quote the induction on why he deserves such ridicule: "Well, in poor Brakus’ case, he got bested by Savio Vega. This while Jim Ross dubbed Brakus the “German Superman.” Somehow I doubt the real Superman would have become as famous as he is if he got beat up by Savio Vega."]

Young Buck Nick Jackson is a father for the third time. (:37)

Blade has sent RD so many screen caps of Fifth Horsewoman Tam. (:40) She is offering some special offer on her Snapchat or other and yet again can not handle people expectantly being people such that she thinks Ashley Massaro is still alive. Blade does his Tam impression. Krankor's laughing has woken up Bitey. "Did you ever see her porno film?"

Gary "Blue" Oransky of Facebook has today's Question because he commented first: (:47) "In these trying times how often do you shower and/or change your underwear?" he asks. Blade hasn't been on a date in a week (so he's been out of action longer then). RD is considered "essential" enough to be out and about, lucky him.

Blade's random photo was featured on his idol Godfather's Pizza social network, in the pinnacle of his life up to this point. (:50)

Since that was not a proper Question RD went back to The Board again. (:52) He had gone down a recent thread of a "tribute to women in wrestling" (was it the same one he had gone to previously?). "Sexist" Blade reads something sent by RD about "Soul Kane" lusting over Liv Morgan in the Elimination Chamber.

Also from that same Facebook thread from Brian Keith Johnson/Jackson, who was second: (:57) "What woman in wrestling today would you want to be quarantined with?" Don's daughter wouldn't be one of them for the still quarantined Blade. RD wants non-woman Orange Cassidy (like me), non-woman Chris Jericho with his bubbly, non-woman Batista for a brief minute, and Becky Lynch with her dolls. Blade wants Mickie James to sing country songs about Christmas sweaters with, non-woman Black Scorpion to practice magic tricks with, and non-sane person Tam.

"Celebrations" for Triple H's 25 years will "begin" on Smackdown in two weeks, in news that definitely needs no further comment. The Co-Fruitcakes do so anyway, for obvious reasons. (:63)

Big Black Room WrestleMania was alright, except for Becky Lynch who only appeared in the fourth match, and Michael Cole who once again showcased his commentating mastery. (:69) The two worry over the hilarious gimmick matches now influencing others to make it worse by copying them (and WWE adding to things by also failing to copy themselves properly). Blade fears the Undertaker will now use such matches to continue wrestling to Ric Flair age levels. The Fun House encounter was particularly awful as a "match", reminding rambling Blade of the teleporting not-hot Dungeon of Doom, among other things.

However RD is thankful Vince did not (yet) do a match based on Deliverance.

Seventeen easily digestible syllables:
Ruthless Aggression.
Ruthless Aggression. Ruthless
Aggression. Bad Shit.



$1.50 : $34.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. What Ganon Is Up To, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Offensive maneuvers, things on the internet
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 1.5. Blade, Blade (2)
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  5
• Blade Time Outs: 7 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
• Cricket Chirps:  4
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Gary "Blue" Oransky
• In these trying times, how often do you shower and/or change your underwear?  Blade: not as often as I should. RD:  I do it more since I’m considered essential.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What woman personalities in wrestling today would you want to be in quarantine with?
  
• RD:  Orange Cassidy, Chris Jericho/Becky Lynch, Batista
• Blade:  Sunny, Mickie James, Black Scorpion

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Cena in nWo?
  
  Ruthless Aggression.
  Ruthless Aggression. Ruthless
  Aggression. Bad Shit.

(292) Bitey's Revenge: April 1, 2020

..But not as terrifying as this podcast, Alfred!

"3" (27) minutes

Bitey tries his claw hosting with predictable results Random albeit looped/sequential bird soundclips take over for RD & Blade RD plays all his soundclips available to him RD attempts an avant-garde meditative audio piece RD last minute submits his monthly quota for the peanut gallery.

Co-Hosss Contest Year 14: An owl and a droid imitating parrot fail to impress with their own soundclips. Current Tally: 0 of ???.

Chirp:
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.



...Go vote?



$32.50 Chirp $19.99 Chirp 

Chirps & Cheeps (as deciphered by Erik "Dr. Doolittle" Majorwitz)

 

• 20th Annibirdsary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SQUAWKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not chirping about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Fly Ins: 2. Owl, Droid Parrot
  

 

• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs: 1 
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

Despite having less than a 30 minute run time, Bitey has the show record for number of segments/Trolla products used:  

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsor/Shills
• Trip to the Grocery
• Obscure Wrestling News
• Question of the Week
• Fun With Tam
• WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host Contest
• Fantasy Booking Island
• WrestleCrap Radio 3 Count
• Current Wrestling News
• Weekly Wrestling Haiku 
• FaxTrolla
• BabyTrolla
• HulkTrolla
• TamTrolla
  
  

• Question of the Week from: ???
• I don't speak bird.
  

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  ???
• Bitey:  I don't speak bird (non sequentially).

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Bitey fills in as best he can:
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp

Episode 48: April Awfulness: April 1, 2020

44 minutes

RD: "I was a fool."

RD has forgotten the last time they did this when they talked about Star Wars. Blade has to keep entertaining the people. He once found WC during his regular search for the Black Scorpion. RD: "How can things be bad?"

WC is currently has some March Madness April Awfulness through a tournament vote on the worst gimmick of them all in honor of its 20th anniversary. (:07) Blade: "Boy I tell ya, 2020 is shaping up to be a great year."

Today:

Round 1, Quarter 1 (FIGHT):

• Bastion Booger vs. The Ding Dongs: Blade cannot get behind bell ringing so he goes with the DDs. RD wants them to win too but he thinks they will lose.
• Katie Vick vs. TL Hopper: Both go for the cheerleader in Blade's basement.
• MIRROR MATCH: IRS vs. Captain Mike Rotundo/Rotunda: Blade found IRS stupider then, but nowadays not as bad as a Captain of a varsity club turned boat. He still thinks IRS will win though the Captain should win due to his horrible t-shirt.
• Pirate Paul Burchill vs. Funkasaurus Brodus Clay: Blade goes with the random pirate who he has already forgotten due to his drinking. RD wants him to win also to nautically fight the Captain.
• Rambo Greg Gagne vs. "The Dragon": Blade finds Ricky Steamboat's 'reintroduction' dumb, but the two go with the man with the deadly boring monologues. 
• BATTLE OF THE BIG MEN: Great Khali vs. Giant Gonzalez: Blade thinks Khali will win due to being more recent but they both want his challenger to win due to his actual awfulness.
• Judy Bagwell vs. Bertha Faye: Both go with Judy who is expected to win due to her bad appearances and dragging down her son with her.
• Claire Lynch vs. Piggy James: Both think Claire will win although "fat" Mickie James is absurd beyond all reason. Blade will vote for his Centaur.

Round 1, Quarter 2 (FIGHT): (:15)

• MIRROR MATCH: Fake Diesel & Razor Ramon vs. Oz: Both will vote for Oz who may win due to being extremely dumb and distracting Blade from his pornography. RD can't afford Mama on his show.
• Isaac Yankem DDS vs. Gary Spivey: Both go with the dentist since they love the other so much. They both want Gary to win regardless.
• SPORTS: The Goon vs. Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz: Both go with Abe, the expected winner.
• The Gobbeldy Gooker vs. Max Moon: A tough matchup to be sure, but they go with their mascot.
• LATE 90s: Beaver Cleavage vs. Glacier: Both go with Beaver. Glacier is too good to be around here!
• The Booty Man vs. Farting Natalya Neidhart: Booty was ridiculously awful and had Kimberley Page of all people, but recent Natty may get the edge here.
• STUBBY: Rocco vs. Chucky: Both go with Rocco due to his interfering with the Legion of Doom.
• Xanta Klaus vs. Cheatum the Evil One-Eyed Midget: The Deal Maker was an integral part of the early days, so both go with him.

Round 1, Quarter 3 (FIGHT): (:22)

•  Pro Wrestler Jay Leno vs. Survivor Jenna Morasca: Both are bad but the two go with Jay in what is admittedly a very close match (and his at least being better in the ring), but RD thinks Jenna will progress.
• Outback Jack vs. Se7en: RD thinks Jack will win easily, though Blade remembers RD laughing about Rhodes and his Baloney Pony among its general badness.
• The Shockmaster vs. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese: Both think the Shockmaster will trip into a blowout.
• QUESTIONABLE CHAMPIONS: WCW Champion David Arquette vs. WWE Champion Jinder Mahal: Both go with David though he may not be as recent as the other guy.
• HORRIBLE ONE-NAMED WRESTLERS: Nailz vs. Zeus: Both go with Blade's favorite Zeus in another close match.
• Adam Rose with Bunny vs. Kerwin White: Both go with the more "memorable" and longer lasting Adam.
• The Repo Man vs. WCW's Mystery Man: Both go with the classic Repo Man before he can steal their stuff. Blade: "Ironically it's the worst possible match-up you could ever get if you wanted to see Road Warrior Animal take on Demolition Smash."
• The Dungeon of Doom vs. Billionaire Ted: A tough one, but Blade will go with the Dungeon due to the very random Ted. RD agrees with him.

Round 1, Quarter 4 (FIGHT): (:32)

• Black Scorpion vs. Gene "Boba Foot" Snitsky: RD wants Blade's Scorpion to destroy his opponent.
• KISS Demon vs. Saba Simba: Blade thinks Saba was not a good idea. His Book of Lists Exclamation Point was signed by Tony Atlas. RD goes with him but he thinks the Demon will win this one.
• SEX SEX SEX: Meat vs. Hugh G. Rection: Both want Meat to win but they think the other one will be bigger.
• Al Wilson vs. Billy & Chuck: Blade once worked with a guy who was involved with writing both. He will go with Al in honor of his daughter. RD wants him to win though it may be hard against the other two.
• BIRD BIRD BIRD: Red Rooster vs. Sting's Guard Bird: Blade is speechless so he asks Bitey for help. He doesn't have an opinion either. So Blade goes with Red, "the worst gimmick of all time" in said Book of Lists. Both wonder if Sting will make a run for it regardless since he is more recent. RD wants Bitey to choose again.
• The Yeti vs. Dink the Clown: Dink is bad enough to win but both will go with the Yeti anyway (if the Dungeon of Doom doesn't win for him that is).
• Mantaur vs. Naked Mideon: RD for the former, Blade for the latter.
• The Boogeyman vs. Papa Shango: Blade takes a while before choosing the former, RD for the latter.

Neither is sure who will win the whole thing anyway due to all the badness present. Even the Black Scorpion has tough competition in his quarter.

The two will return once this round has been decided within the next few days, assuming Blade will still be alive by then.

291 Love in the Time of Corona: March 27, 2020

This ring is empty, just like after listening to this show feels.

101 minutes

The latest development for Big Black Room WrestleMania: AJ Styles will face the Undertaker in a "Boneyard Match". Blade makes an actual joke. For once. I know.

Blade is back (quarantined?) in Don's Petting Zoo Basement with his pet parrot "Bitey". He is the only one laughing at Blade's jokes/laughter/Big Announcement. RD thinks Bitey would make the perfect next TNA correspondent. I'm expecting he will have a character page eventually irregardless of this. (He already has a label now anyway.)

RD now has an Etsy shop. At the moment he is specializing in creating high quality old school game coasters.

RD admits that we of this very site are more awesome than them. (:16)

News depending on how you look at it: Tam is out of prison and expressing a desire to "paint". No word on whether she also is on Etsy. (:19) Blade reminds RD on the many Tam "presents" he had subjected him to for Christmas. Then he threatens to talk about her weekly. Then he coughs outside of the microphone. Then he randomly says: "I'm allergic to the world." Then he Joker laughs.

Shelly Martinez is not doing nude work on her OnlyFans page. (:25) Blade has to explain to the more prudish RD what OnlyFans is. Wasn't Tam there also? She will be on Snapchat if she wasn't already there before her "hiatus". Bitey pterodactyl screeches on hearing this. Blade has seen her recent photos and thinks she looks better. Spending time in jail will do that to someone.

Blade had a Wrestling Vixens account before he or his library had a computer (he used his friend's computer to use it).

Jillian "Mole" Hall is a mother for the second time. (:32) Blade: "[Shawn Michaels] never had any problems conceiving, but..." He keeps thinking it's still cold outside. He also fantasizes about naming his alternate dimension children after Crayola colors and/or cheese. (Crayola colors named after cheese?)

Sad News: Blade once again is missing out on meeting Mickie James (and Tom Wopat) in Columbus (Indiana) due to the current pandemic cancelling everything. (:38) He expresses his sadness by more coughing.

RD announces that he will pay for Blade's next flight to see Mickie James within the next 12 months if she's within close distance of either of them. Blade still wants to ask her about her favorite breakfast cereal. (:44)

For a change, Listener James Campbell was Questioned in the Kult of Kayfabe Facebook group about wrestling podcasts. He chose...wisely. (:46) Blade wonders how their two radio progrems compare to one another. Then he Joker laughs again alongside Bitey.

RD took another visit to the F4W Board for another Question there. (A subscription is still required for access.) (:49) Blade wants to call these occurrences Board Games. This week/month from January: who is the best member of Demolition? "Dude Life" liked Axe due to his creepiness as a middle-aged factory laborer sex pervert.

WrestleCrap will be 20 years old this April, so the Co-Fruitcakes go over some of their favorite moments (again). (:54)

• RD was supposed to be a caller-in on a radio show with an elderly receptionist identifying him as "Russell Crap" (I am sure he mentioned this once.). 
• Blade had an early email conversation with the Warrior on his personalized workout program using the nom de guerre of RustleCrup. 
• RD remembered the many people he has met over the years. 
• Blade remembered their feud with Damien Demento including singing and their missed attempt to have Shelly Martinez on the show because she "overslept". 
• RD is most happy to have met Blade through his Black Scorpion Revenge. Blade was assisted by his Ex and Don to make it as an excuse to expand his VHS tape library, and as a result starting his IMDB profile. Discussion of the expensive good old days follows. 
• Blade is most happy that he has Katie Vick's outfit to literally fuck around in.

The two wonder how much it will cost to bring Tam onto their show. (:83) According to her Facebook page she was happy for two (2) hours on the 23rd before getting angry again for some reason.

Big Black Room WrestleMania over two days with gimmicks matches is the worst way to go about it, instead of delaying it in order to make it better (you know, like everyone else is doing). (:87) Blade argues they can't delay it without impacting their TV shows; they might as well get things over with now and start anew. RD shows how incorrect Blade is by forgetting who Brock Lesnar is to fight against (Drew McIntyre).

The two agree that WWE should take a hiatus/offseason anyway, as they should normally do even without a pandemic (you know, like everyone else is doing). Blade attempts to be "light" and spills water all over himself.

RD on WrestleCrap on Patreon: "Enjoy some bad wrestling from when some of it was actually good."

Seventeen Syllables of Blade Braxton telling you what's going on:
Coronavirus.
Empty WrestleMania.
It will feel empty.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right



#StayAliveStayInside #Don'tBeBlandWashYourHands #BeBadAssWearAMask

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. What Ganon Is Up To, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  1
• Blade Time Outs: 17 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  3 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
• Cricket Chirps:  3

 

• Question of the Week TO: James Campbell
  
• Anyone know any good wrestling podcasts? WrestleCrap Radio. Well the RD & Blade Show was pretty good too.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Best WrestleCrap moment of the last 20 years?
• RD:  Meeting Blade via the Recreate the Crap Contest, Mildred calling him Russell Crap, meeting cool people in the business
• Blade:  The Katie Vic outfit, Jim Helwig the Russell Crupp mentor, Damien Demento vs WrestleCrap (non sequentially)
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates this pandemic:

Coronavirus.
Empty WrestleMania.
It will feel empty.

290 The B Word: February 19, 2020

BladeStranglesHisBird.com

...I Bet That Url's Not Taken?

85 minutes

Blade has returned from abroad to be further confused by RD himself. Quote one Listener: "You guys just seem to tickle each other."

RD explains to Blade how he got his scar in Gotham City getting pseudo-creampied in his Roselyn Bakery Death Match in his wrestling days by his very excited opponent. (:05) Blade remembers their pie throwing at the end of that Roast of 10 years ago. Was it really that long ago?

Blade is currently in Don's basement with his pet parrot. RD wants to make him the next TNA correspondent. (:12)

RD wants to add years to the site to make it older than it currently is, like WCW did with Goldberg's record. Blade has a forbiddingly bad idea for what he wants for the April anniversary. "I can read a calendar," he proclaims.

As expected, Blade did not listen to last month's show.

RD gave Blade some karmic justice for always being late for their recordings. (:22) Blade had a good time in the UK with his Midnight Rose and Katie Vick outfits in a horror movie without a title. Botchamania's Maffew is also to appear in it. Blade promised a friend he would bring them UK variant Kit Kats, so of course he ate them all himself. That's all the news he can give us.

Blade continues to be drunk. (:28) One of the Iiconics did a photo shoot resulting in an expected deluge of "messages". RD reads a publicized one in his non-Sir Alec/STAN impression.

Jim calls in since he is soon to release another book. He and RD crack each other up unintentionally (for once). (:34)

The Hall of Fame bound Bellas are expecting at the same time. RD pretends to be surprised that it may not be on the straight and narrow. Blade: "I just got up." (:39) Also joining them this year are the original four of the NWO Classic, Bistro Batista, Jushin Liger, and Davey Boy Smith [and JBL].

Robert Sternburg (2) thinks Adam Bomb has bowel issues. (:46) He has to make sure they're alright since he may be imprisoned like his partner Crush was that one day. Blade fails his 'joke'. RD: "Does it really matter?" He tries again. That fails. He tries again. That fails.

Blade also hung out with some Listeners while overseas. The drinking probably helped them against his bad jokes. (:50) Shayna Baszler appeared with a vampire/hound gimmick. RD does not mess up his 'joke' but it still fails also. Blade tries again. That fails.

Speaking of wrestling biters, RD likes Hulk Hogan, the Haiti Kid, and Shelly Martinez (What is she up to these days anyway?). Blade likes Kamala, Gangrel, and Matilda. (No Abdulla the Butcher?)

RD has yet to watch a full match of the new XFL but likes some of their rules, including the different point conversion. (:68) Blade's Hobo Curse has had no effect on the nearby Kansas City Chiefs, since they are not based in Kansas. His XFL team is the also not based in Kansas ST. LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS (to be written only in all caps, like the OTTAWA REDBLACKS. Who are also not based in Kansas).

WWE is currently documenting their years of RUTHLESS AGGRESSION, their period of random activity in the 2000s after they had defeated WCW and had no idea what to do next (sounds like nowadays to be honest). Blade does his old man impression due to being confused by their era dates. (What, does he think this is a game of (Sid Meier's) Civilization or something?) RD is more amused by WWE's hilariously awful attempts to rewrite history, in this case that they 'voluntarily' changed their name just because.

Wipe it clean with Seventeen (Shayna) Syllables:
Shayna likes to bite.
I hope she doesn't get sued.
Trademark White Wolf Inc.



$1.00 : $32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrap.com, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 3. Thebadboysexcited.com, BigBadBillygettingexcited.com, Bittenbyamidget.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

  

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade (2)

•  Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Jim
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  3
• Blade Time Outs: 23 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  4 (1 Hold on a second, 1 Real Quick, 1 Wait a minute, 1 Wait a second)
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• Krankor Laughs: 2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 3
• Cricket Chirps:  7
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Robert Sternburg (2)
• Do you think Adam Bomb has explosive diarrhea? Blade distracted RD with a poorly delivered punchline.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Top 3 Biters.
  
• RD:  Hulk Hogan, The Haiti Kid, Shelly “Ariel” Martinez
• Blade:  Matilda, Gangrel, Kamala the Ugandan Giant (sequentially)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Shayna guilty of copy bite?
  
  Shayna likes to bite.
  I hope she doesn't get sued.
  Trademark White Wolf Inc.

Bitey

Blade Braxton's parrot who became a temporary recurring character on Wrestlecrap Radio on episode #290.

May have also hosted a April Fools Episode in 2020?

• Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.