Episode 44: Pilots: March 5, 2019

32 minutes

Blade is still with RD at his home following the earlier recording of the standard radio progrem. His Jazz Overnight sounds very sleepy now though. He entertains the people about how he can't remember most of their old episodes, unsurprisingly. However at least he's not drinking right now. Small steps and all.

Since RD has been encouraging listener participation for this show's incarnation, Zap Fabian suggested reviewing an old episode (:04). So RD takes a look at the pilot, all the way back in August 2005. (:07)

• The audio quality remains in high phone-buzzing over-modulated fidelity.
• "You know."
• The progrem was originally started before their appearance on Get In The Ring Radio...which they killed off, sending the original podcasters off the Internet.
• RD sure talked a lot back then, at least compared to "greenhorn" Blade and in talking about WC. 
• Someone reviewing it at the time thought of it as a "17 minute voice IM. " (:17)
• RD links current Sunny to Maude back then. This gives Blade a coughing fit. I hope he doesn't cough straight into RD's microphone. 

  

  The Once and Future Bea

• RD forgot who Clumsy Girl was. Don't feel too bad, I forgot too.
• Neither likes how they sounded then. (:13)
• RD still doesn't watch much of Raw.  
• Young RD had a Tivo from 2003. 
• Blade was partying hard at Young RD's age of 36.
• Tim Conway and Tom Wopat are still alive...for now.
• RD wants to ask people about Dorff. (:17)
• Young RD: "How did we get on Don Knotts?" RD: "That's a question you'll ask a lot, RD."
• Kerwin White was discussed a lot, for obvious reasons. (:21)
• So too the Boogeyman.
• Revenge of the Nerds came out in 1984. 
• The two are not used to their old voices talking about Gooker nominees in August. (:26)
• RD was sad he didn't make a Heidenrich Energy quip. "I'm really confused...What is wrong with you, young RD?"
• RD is surprised Blade did not make a trashbag reference.  (:28)

Blade wants to makeup haiku for the episode, though oddly he doesn't do so here now. RD is surprised people still wanted to listen after, or paid to listen after, either then or now. I believe Vince says the same thing of his own product every day instead of relating to the middle class.

(259) The WrestleCrap Weekly Top 40: April 1, 2016

(Crap To Crap)

No dogs were harmed during the making of this progrem.

50 minutes

(In yet more time travel related shenanigans) "Kasem Casey" on WTKO The Knockout "counts down" some of the various times the Co-Fruitcakes and their "guest" characters sang on the radio progrem, complete with the full swearing left in! Can you believe it's been 3 years since they last sung with their seductive golden tones over bad MIDI tracks while RD laughed uncontrollably in the background? (Assuming you take it from the RD & Blade Show. Otherwise it's been 5 years since their last song from the original incarnation of the radio progrem. And 10 years since they last did an episode.)

Speaking of singing badly, you may remember when Blade had a WWCR Songs MySpace page that he forgot the password to, followed by having his own singing MySpace page when that was a thing for two whole months.

The songs in questionable question:

• Blade sings about Jim's troubles as The Barbequer. (:02)
• RD & Blade badly mangle the theme from Good Times. (:07)
• Blade finds it Hard To Say Goodbye on Mickie James' WWE release. (:09)
• The Co-Fruitcakes Didn't Know He Was Sick. (:12)
• Blade wouldn't spend 10,000 Bucks on Ashley Massaro. (:17)
• A totally real request from Ed Han Salo concerning 'a long distance dedication to his dog' (Poor guy, hasn't he suffered enough already on this show???) brings up The Twelve Days Of Christmas. (:21)
• RD 'sings' some cobbled together Dr. Feelgood MIDIs. Technically that doesn't count as a 'song'. (:32)
• Blade feels the need to sing about Mickie James' implant trouble. (:34)
• The Co-Fruitcakes say Goodbye (to the) Boogeyman. (:36)
• Blade enjoys Brown Haired Trish. (:38)

There is one new song at least, when the Cast Of Characters & Soundbites & Trolla Corporation products sing that in fact We Are WrestleCrap Radio, featuring an extended guest appearance from Jim which is enough to revive both Johnny 4 AND 6. Don't ask. Yes, again. (:43)

"Stewart Patrick": "I am here to sing my song. I'm leaving now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• April Fools
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. American Florists, Whirlpool, Mike Check bumper stickers, Folgers Coffee, Budweiser
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0. Magazines, nostalgic, movies, derailing the show
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

  

America’s Top 40 with Casey Kasem: Top 10 WrestleCrap Radio Songs

10.  The BBQer by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers)

9.  The Good Times Theme (cover) by RD and Blade Braxton

8.  It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Mickie James by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” by Boyz II Men)

7.   Didn’t Know He Was Sick by Blade Braxton and R.D. Reynolds (featuring Krankor and Mama)
(to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)

6.  10,000 Bucks by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “10,000 Miles” by The Proclaimers)

Long Distance Dedication
Ed “Han” Solo for his dog Snuggles
WrestleCrap Radio 12 Days of Christmas

5.  Dr. Feelgood (Motley Crue) by RD Reynolds

4.  Boob Pop by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Mmm Bop” by Hanson)

3.  Goodbye Boogeyman by RD and Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John)

2.  Brown Haired Trish by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Brown Eyed Girl”

1.  We Are WrestleCrap Radio by WrestleCrap
(to the tune of We Are the World” by various artists)

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 35. Mike Check, Casey Kasem, Jim, Bob and Weave, Sammy Sugar Daddy, CS John Kelly, Jim (2), Popeye, Satan, Sir Alec Heineken, Dixie Carter, Stubby, Nintendo John, Mike Check (2), Midnight Rose, BM Punk, Suzy Shuffle, Mike Check (3), Blade, RD, Stubby (2), Popeye (2), Bill Cosby, Jim (3), Dixie Carter (2), Midnight Rose (2), Mama, Lord Alfred Hayes, Huey the WrestleCrap Radio Ghoul, Crickets, Debbie Reynolds, Weird Al, Johnny 4, Stewart Patrick

 

•  F-Bombs: 14. Blade, Jim, Blade (2), Blade (3), Blade (4), Jim (2), Jim 2 (3), Jim 2 (5), Jim (6), Jim (7), Jim 2 (9), Jim (10)

 

• Krankor Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps: 1
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  

206 Hulkanymphomania: March 9, 2012

79 minutes

Unexpectedly the radio progrem starts with actual wrestling news: Hulk Hogan has a sex tape, and he's not doing it with Linda or Brooke or his current beau. Or Ed Leslie, thankfully. For more 'information' on it, skip to the last five minutes.

The duo worry that from talking about this new revelation they won't talk about anything else. Of course, they don't talk about anything at all. I don't see the problem here.

RD meanwhile is to collaborate on his own videos (...wasn't he already doing so?). He is going to work with his former fellow Fighting Spirit Magazine correspondent and equal reporting legend Bill Apter (:04), the first product of which is to be uploaded in the next week. Not to be outdone, Blade reveals how he used old Apter mags as expensive coloring books, and that the Midnight Rose will be in New Jersey in June to appear in person on Vince Russo's YouShoot recording. (Feel free to write potential questions here if you're a registered member on the forum.) Recent inductee Brakus is with Fantasio on some interview online which I'm too lazy to find. (:10) The Boogeyman now has a rather rude name.

RD wants another telethon (:15). Sad News: Blade lost his Jerry Lewis button.

RD needs a new sponsor to replace Global Internet for some reason, so he reads a 10,000 page ad copy from The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, one of which is that guy who gets aroused by Blade's burps. RD has to admonish Brad for interrupting him while doing so.

Until April 1st, the 'WrestleCrapMania 2012 Sale' has all the DVDs from $16.95 US. Blade wonders about listening to all the shows in a row. I was bored enough to do that once. Let me tell you, it should be banned under the Geneva Convention.

Sad News: Payton Manning's been future endeavored by the Colts because they suck without him on the field. (:27) RD pisses off Blade by now deciding to also cheer for the Bengals, the Giants, and whoever Payton's new team is. My money's on the Jets, Bills, Cardinals, Chiefs, or the Rams. Hell, he may even fuck with people's heads and play in the CFL. Hell, he should go to Canada and quit football entirely. I can totally see him as General Manager for the Canadiens and piss off the Quebecois media for not speaking French yet. Or he may even play on the ice and probably score more in one game than Scott Gomez's done all season.

Long digression over, RD mourned this occurrence by taking a TRIP to the Louisville Arcade Expo. Long discussion about old school gaming follows. In Jefferson, he saw something for "Churro Cereal" and one of Jerry's Restaurants and saw a restaurant called Moby Dick with a really angry mascot. Unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps?) Popeye does not show up to crack jokes. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.) Blade yawns, fascinated by all this for sure. He saw an RD's Liquor Store once while on the road.

"He piled upon the whale’s white portion the sum of all the general appetite and
hunger felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his stomach had
been a mortar, he burst his cold mouth's tongue upon it."

Blade is flabbergasted by the fact that they've only gotten to Obscure News 43 minutes in. Our good friend Joanie Laurer is in yet another porn film, this time as She-Hulk. RD wants Stan Lee to make an appearance, though perhaps not necessarily participating with her. Blade's friend once went in blackface. This silences RD. I would be silenced too; I didn't know Blade was a good friend of Ted Danson. Perhaps HE can be a Celebrity Tripper to the Grocery in the future.

The Big Nippled Vampire still hasn't called yet as she is in a Funny or Die video. (:48) RD does not remember Ute Luddendorf who is NOT in one. He does remembers Patrick Warburton though.

"Satan" pays a visit. (:52) His Tubular Bells sound different again. He's somehow corrupted a HorseTrolla into a "DevilTrolla". I personally think someone's ripped the Prince of Darkness off. The only Daemonic-style HorseTrollas that are sold (The DreadSteedTrolla) look more like a Khornite Juggernaught. I'm surprised he hasn't yet seen the "Made In Elysium Fields" tag on the side and called Trolla Customer Support about it. On the other hand, he DID make a fuss about the Ratings Reaper not paying him $15,000 for some reason, so I can see that he would be hard up to buy a counterfeit knockoff rather than the real thing. Hell, I could have hooked him up with one for free as a gift.

Anyway, there's something about Mickie James making no sense online. "Satan" really needs better writers for the stuff he makes his 'subjects' say. Again, he probably just can't afford them.

Pete from Austria has the Question Complaint of the Week (:58), attacking RD's knowledge of German and the fact that Austria and Germany are two separate countries. Next RD will have us believe that Africa is a country.

The Honky Tonk Mailman's not around again (smart man) so Nintendo John calls instead. (:63) He doesn't like the new WrestleFest remake and he loses his composure for some reason. Blade wonders if he's anorexic from his appearance on the Roast. Well of course, if he subsides on power-ups with no nutritional value (on the Nintendo). His crowd stays behind to cheer.

Blade loses his train of thought. I'm shocked, I really am. (:68) New Jack and Brian Knobbs got into a backstage brawl, easily won by the former ECWer. Blade's forgotten about Brock Lesnar already.

The two then spend five minutes on Hogan's sex tape (:74) That's six more minutes than I would have given it.

Seventeen Easily Digestible Syllables:
Hulk sex-tape on way.
Something I don't want to see:
One eye of Hulkster. 

RD: "I like how you did that haiku. It kinda sounded like Chief Jay Strongbow doing it."



What's this? Only one Jar transgression? (0.50c) That's not possible. Or I just didn't pay attention as usual. Someone remind to give this another listen.
$4.50 (plus the $19.99 The Price Is Right).

185 Bloody Halloween: October 29, 2010

81 minutes

Blade is 'sober' again on this special Halloween, which once again involves Roddy Piper PSAs. Something involving the theme song to Over The Top.

:20 The Trip is going in circles/time loops. Quisp cereal. Swearing at restaurants. Arby's Chocolate Turnover is something BM Punk would like.

RD breaks the cycle and knocks on the door so Popeye can visit, playing his theme music on speakerphone. (:26) He brings his 'nephews' Huey, Dewie and Louie, Pimpeye, Peepeye and Poopeye who sound like Jake Lloyd Jr, for trick or treating. Blade doesn't give them anything as they didn't follow Roddy's rules. "If you're old enough to knock up a woman, you're too old to be knocking on doors on Halloween," says he. "And make sure whenever you knock up that woman, you say please and thank ya!" adds RD.

:32 RD wants you to Sit Down For WrestleCrap. The Great Khali is appearing in the Indian variant of Big Brother because 'his wife wanted him to'. The show is named Big Boss for some reason, but unfortunately I don't believe David Hayter would be involved in any capacity with it. Meanwhile the Boogeyman is now calling himself Slither. Blade yawns.

:38 For some reason Satan, i.e. the Devil, calls in, fully prepared with the theme to The Exorcist. Dirty Dutch Mantell is talking smack on his Facebook page. Wait, he has a Facebook page? This 'Devil' has more important things to do, like laugh evilly at his favorite team New Jersey for burning $100 million dollars on Ilya Kovulchuk, so he randomly says 'I'm leaving now' and uses the midi Star Trek TNG music to disappear. I wonder, could he be... RD once again calls the show incomprehensible.

Sad News to Blade: the original Centaur Jenna Van Oy has recently married. Our current Centaur looked great on TNA, according to Blade's nonsense rapping. She's also going to be 'auctioned' for charity like some kind of prop. For some reason Blade wants to win the auction with a roofie, if he doesn't pull a Don Mason and take it himself before hand of course.

:50 Jim Ross calls in. Angered by legends shows done by other wrestlers, and the failure of his lawn mowing BBQ business, he decides to make his own UWF Haunted House. Featuring Sting as the Invisible Man! Of course, he can only attract one customer with his $200 fee. (Was it Steve Williams?)

:60 Ultimate Kennedy (10) asks about the perfect employee smell. Blade says tuna.

SPEAKING OF employees John Kelly calls, on track to break the TNA Corresponding record. Of course there's a problem, as Blade's street has suddenly transformed into a stock car racetrack. After we learn that Katie Lee Burchill will appear on TNA as Winter, J.K. gives everyone a near scare when he gets hit by a Pontiac (driven by the Devil, one would wonder) [The Devil can't play a fiddle. What chance does he have to drive a stick shift? - Clarence]. Thankfully he manages to evade becoming his own crime scene by doing a Starsky and Hutch style dodge over the car roof.

:69 RD and Blade make fun of the foolish wrestling community for thinking that the Undertaker would brawl with Brock Lesnar while watching him at an MMA match. Huey has a laughing fit at this. Voters in Connecticut are (finally? I guess) allowed to wear WWE shirts while at the booths. I don't really get it either.

Laying down Seventeen Syllables to get us out of it:
Wrestling shirts at polls.
Why Vince sued Connecticut.
Linda still won't win.

158 Going down the YouTube: September 25, 2009

All Stand For "...Brother-hood"

82 minutes

The new induction this week is of Sting: Moment of Truth, a film made on a literally $1000 budget. Thus we listen to Survivor's Moment of Truth and read more confusing comments. (:02) The Midnight Rose will wrestle October 3rd at some grill somewhere in Kansas. Blade confuses himself by somehow thinking he's the Rose and vice versa.

No Trip again this week (:14) but RD wants to know about Mountain Dew Throwback made with real sugar. Blade just wants to do porn. He could make the movies and watch people perform in them.

Obscure News (:17) Have you thought about Sam Houston today? He's been jailed for violating his probation. RD and Blade still play his MIDI theme song. Sister Rockin' Robin also 'sings' America the Beautiful for our enjoyment at WrestleMania V. RD thinks that could be the new WCR intro. Blade repeats himself. Trish Stratus is making some yoga game. (:35) RD: "Like Mr Potato Head but with boobs," (So, Mrs Potato Head then?) We go down the roster for Hulkamania in Australia, with something about The Kwicky Koala Show. Sad News: The Boogeyman is missing. More Sad News: The Gymini Dolls are now on a $11 clearance.

Question of the Week: (:52) Crouton Kinley wants some love advice. Blade suggests wearing a mask, which is perfect for committing adultery (assuming you can keep it on throughout).

Johnny Four appears. (:55) Lacey Von Erich is in TNA. J4 says something about her being in the Beautiful People due to her having plastic breasts rather than a plastic foot. Angelina Love finds an excuse to escape TNA, thanks to being an Illegal Alien. Jim Ross calls (:67) to talk about nothing in particular, much like the show.

Current News (:71) Lillian Garcia's last show is this week. There are talks of Howard Finkel replacing her. Cedric the Entertainer guest hosts badly on RAW. Random celebrities seem to be chosen to guest host, including that wrestling bastion Dennis Miller.

Seventeen Syllables on Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller RAW
Obvious Vince never watched
Monday Night Football.

144 Cursed!: May 8, 2009

71 minutes

Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows.

This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")

Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)

No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.

Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.

The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on wwe.com): "I'd make Mickie sticky".

RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.

No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)

Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.

Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.

139 Rise of the Midnight Rose: March 20, 2009

77 minutes

Blade took a recent stint in indie wrestling as the Midnight Rose, and he's even got (another) irrelevant MySpace page to prove it. (At least until he forgets its password or updating it.) Blade attributes this success to carrying his mask everywhere with him.

The Three Faces of Blade (not starring Joanne Woodward) apparently consist of Blade, this new Pink Assassin Midnight Rose, and Slice of the mysteriously hidden Last Name. He's also going to RAW with front row and center tickets. (:07) RD thinks Blade having sex with Mickie James on TV will raise ratings. I know one thing it would certainly raise...(:09)

It seems this Pink Rose has also driven Dependo's profile from YouTube, giving him the opportunity to lie in wait creating his next attack against our Co-Fruitcakes. (:10) Believe me, he will. Although the way things are going with RD's Popeye impression as a gay sailor, I think he doesn't need to lift a finger to sabotage the show. He can just let them do all the work for him.

Also for some reason the web page has a third sponsor, topcasinodirectory.com. But they say nothing about it here. I'm assuming Dependo hacked into their page.

RD didn't go to the Grocery at all during last week's haitus, instead taking another TRIP to Disney World (:17). He saw Rafiki there again. Chief Strongbone gives a 'How'. (:22) RD met the world's most effeminate Peter Pan. Are you sure about that?

Time for FanFiction Theatre! (:26) This week finds Stephanie McMahon with Trish Stratus re-enacting the end of The Crying Game. [That's too recent a movie for Vince to have heard about.]

Obscure Wrestling News. (:34) Lacey Von Erich is in some film or other. Bobo Brazil Jr is in some indie show and Triple H is 'expected' to be there.

This week's Question (:40) sees a German Crapper by the name of Wolfgang Uberhard sending 80's German porn music.

Mike Check tunes in. (:45) He didn't watch TNA due to recording trouble with a James Bond movie. Instead he talks about his time at KPPV "Mix 106" in Prescott Arizona. Did you know he was in a show named the Car Tunes Afternoon Drive, and he was once Mad Dog McGoo in The Deputy Dog Show?

He does get off (literally) to SoCal Valerie (by Steve Winwood). Speaking of which we badly segue into the two commenting on a Don Mason tribute video, Call on Don , which combines his masked dancing with some recent music video thing. (:57) The Co-Fruitcakes talk about the arousing images of Don with the intercut music, and if dancing Don is your thing, who am I to complain? (Weirdly enough Steve Winwood DID work with a Mason. Not Don though.)

Blade has some Did Ya? (Fun Facts) segment to mock the WWE's own, with expected terrible results (:63). Blade found a random hat. Koko B. Ware is in the Hall of Fame, but there's no word yet on if Frankie will join him. (:65) Duran Duran's Planet Earth is watched. (:67) Did they collaborate with Steve Winwood though? The Diva Battle Royale is discussed just slightly. (:71)

(Concocted) Seventeen Syllables:
A Diva Royale.
You know it won't be complete;
We need Hervina.

138 Release The Boogeyman!...Again!: March 6, 2009

Goodbye Boogeyman...Again!

73 minutes

Sad News: Boogeyman fired. Again.

Speaking of deja vu Damien Demento is still continuing his heroic barrage on our Co-Hostess Fruitcakes. Blade aims to recruit Don...Don Mason and Peter Gazer to help him plan some sort of revenge. Oh good: Don could repel him with his mask while Pete will love him and/or make awful jokes to death. (:08) RD tries reading the Angry Marks ad copy as Chewbacca.

For no particular reason we talk with Stubby for a bit. (:15) As if the show didn't have much time to waste already... He reveals that he was revived with the magical powers of a beaver who liked his wood. That's it. That's the joke.

RD's TRIP to the Grocery (:20) had Blade rediscover the Star-O-Saurus. Vanilla milkshake pop-tarts are discussed (but not toasted).

Obscure Wrestling News: Mr.T refuses to be in the totally authentic WWE Hall of Fame, citing Pete Rose's presence in it. (:25) He should cut the jibberjabba and know that that thing is a work only for punks like Hulk Hogan, FOO! RD does an impression of him as Dr. D through Jeff Foxworthy. The Co-Fruitcakes go over other celebrities who should be inducted post-haste.

The Iron Sheik will have some iPhone apps. (:34) I know I'll buy a few if they include his insanity and great one-liners in full. He can make a tutorial program: "How to Camel Clutch and Humble B Brian Blair Old Country Way."

This week on WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre: (:37) Sir Alec Heineken narrates for us a heartwarming porn story with CM Punk & a dominatrix Michelle McCool to the sounds of Moonlight Sonata. I'm expecting Rolling Stone to give it 5 stars like they give just about everything else.

Report of the Week (:44) with our fellow Crapper Jason "Jared" Rodicker reporting on Todd Bridges' wrestling from last week. Needless to say Todd sucks, participating in a six man heel turn while people infringe on RD's wrestling gimmick.

Mike Check tunes in for our amusement. (:50) This week: remembering Paul Harvey, his time at KZZO "Kazoo 92" in Laredo Texas, The Great Kazoo, Don "Wild Wild" West and being Juan Sanchez on the Don Juan Siesta Drive (for two weeks only).

Jim Ross livens things up by calling in, angry at his representation on the site. (:62) He calls out RD for not being in the Hall of Fame or something. Any excuse to call in, I guess. Steve Austin shaved off his goatee. James Snuka is a walking corpse. The show is meandering harder than a river.

The Co-Fruitcakes sing in tribute to the Boogeyman.



[This week's WrestleCrap.com update caused the url VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com to be taken.]

128 Dr. D's Black Friday: December 5, 2008

Sleepin' With The Fishes?

The Big Black Friday Recap Show
95 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

This writ is dedicated to Buddy "Dinobot" Beene, who passed away just previously. Rest in peace.

This week's inductee, one Dr. D David Schultz, thinks WC is the City Dump. RD believes that if he stayed with the company he could have been a license to print money/ratings. (:02) Discussion of this mortal enemy of John Stossel follows, Blade saying that any news of him overtook Black Friday. The Detroit Lions were annihilated by the league darlings the Tennessee Titans on Thanksgiving 10-47 making Blade sad. Unfortunately he doesn't go hitting the bottle which would make things infinitely better. (:05) RD calls the game one of the single worst games he has ever seen in his entire life. The two were texting back and forth during that match like some sort of middle-aged tall BFFs. Blade got a Lions 2008 pre-season championship shirt in the mail from some site or other. His 'match' with Nicole Bass is brought up. The season is not looking good for RD's Colts, Blade's Lions or my beloved Packers. Lions0in16.com has not yet been taken. RD's Christmas present is whatisthisthecitydump.com complete with looping sound bite. (isn't that at ytmnd.com somewhere?) (Also, if you want more Dr. D insanity check out the beginning of this YouTube video) The two Masonmania entries (video culminations of Blade's Don Mason stories) are mentioned. Blade shills himself in the new DVD (:13) and is said to be 'disgusting' in the shoot interview by RD.

RD's TRIP to Black Friday (:16) makes RD fearful of his life from the hillbillies around him. RD's jokes fail at Wal-Mart, much like they do normally on the show. He also encountered a Grizzly Adams/Mike Knox type with a knife. He quotes an angry shopper - "I fuckin' hate Christmas!" Blade is thankful he slept in for it.

Obscure Wrestling News: Bri Bella of the Bella Twins is dating Richie Kotzen, formally of Poison. (:34) Thank God Bret is not involved.

It's also Tammy Sytch's 36th birthday. (:36). Her site is visited. A more enticed Blade undertakes a NSFW Image Search involving 'Tammy Sytch eggs'. - I've seen some terrible stuff and even I have to admit that makes me nauseous. Search at your own peril! To get that off we have her Amazon Wish List for her birthday, but the only thing bought as of this writing is this rather strange item.

Leading from that, how about a $10 admission bargain at half the price of Greg Valentine and George Steele starring in a movie together? (:45) We watch the teaser snippet for their movie, Somethin' Fishy, which involves the two co-stars just sitting around talking. Kinda like this show really. RD is surprised by George's talking while Blade wants to hear Greg talk about having sex with non-Chyna transfolks, like he did at that one convention. Sadly neither of the two took a dive in the water, so thus the whole thing is an ordeal. Now, a fishing movie with Dr. D? THAT would be a blockbuster according to RD. There are free showings on this Friday December 5th down in Florida, but there has been little or no news about it. I would guess that, well, something's fishy about all this.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail, with more news on Mickie James (:54), who wants to act. Also she has split up with John Cena, which is good news for Blade. Sadly I don't think he'll do much with this latest development.

Jim Ross calls (:58), in a rather more serious mood this time. After telling us about how Doctor Steve Williams poisoned a child with a badly cooked turkey, he feels Brother Midnight is trying to fuck with him with a BBQ apron and also providing the thought of BBQing naked. He promises to help ham cooking tips for Christmas, while suffering what seems to be an emotional breakdown. "Go fuck yourself!" he says randomly before he 'hangs up'.

Question of the Week. (:67) Raging Demons (3) talks about TNA and a Cricket Arena. Those two go well together! SPEAKING OF TNA...'Nathaniel' is here. (:70) He sounds more and more like RD with each episode. There's something about turkeys; like this segment for one. Blade is mad as hell and is not gonna take this anymore, but the Star Gazer/Hustler music interrupts as Seaman First Class Peter Gazer randomly calls in to save the day. (:73) He's on the line and out of the closet, and RD & Blade are happy to see him, as are we all. (His entrance to the Navy has been tied up which explains his appearance, which is about as valid as...well...believing that he's gay.) He calls 'Nerdaniel' a Totally Nerd Asshole...so he's indirectly calling out RD too? (As you can see my suspension of disbelief has broken, sending my disbelief all over the street crushing helpless civilians.) He scares off Nate away though and wonders if Blade is bi, promising to teach Nate something should he visit. Now THAT would be a something. He could combat Nate's weak physicality with jazz hands. But his gay attitude brings back the gayness in the holiday spirit, or whatever that whole thing was attempting. It's not like Pete has been on the show a lot or something. ... Wait, was he even on the show before?

Music-less Current Sad News (:80) Bruce Pritchard AKA Brother Love has been released. The Gobbeldy Gooker was sighted at Survivor Series with the Boogeyman. (:83) Robecca DiPietro favored the WCR commentary video of her Batista sex doll commercial. SPEAKING OF Batista, he was involved with Kelly Kelly at one point but split off from her due to her being too 'immature'. You don't say. (:85) (Oh, and here's a picture of the man at a Washington Wizards game) Discussion of his 'mentor' Ric Flair and his sexual conquests follows. Stephanie McMahon should be called Black Monday. Mockery of her and the Slammies follows. Shawn Michaels is broke.

Seventeen Syllables of Knowledge:
Broke-ass HBK.
No cash - guess it's time for Whis-
per to start whoring.

Oh, and I counted Blade saying "you know" at least 30 times. What did YOU get?

122 Bound For Glory Holes: October 10, 2008

Not The Kimberly Page Head That Blade Wanted

This Week's Rating: 1.0
(88 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah

Big celebration of TNA as they finally get their due on Wrestlecrap! Pac Man Jones gets his own induction, and the three Classic Inductions are all TNA related, It Came From YOUTUBE! features some weird TNA remix video with Dave Meltzer, Someone Bought This covers some random T-Shirts as if sold from some TNA Garage Sale, and the Jobber of the Week is the previously inducted Mr. X.

New Navy recruit Peter Gazer is mentioned barely one minute in. RD remarks on the bondage-themed names of TNA's PPVs, and suggests changing TNA's name to the more dignified S&M. (:03) RD already has Peter's new replacement for TNA reporting after a...whole week of intensive search for the "ultimate TNA fan" for "100% wrestling news". I'm surprised the crickets didn't start chirping in response. Blade tries to sing Pat Benatar. (:07) Speaking of Blade singing karoake...he is still recording tracks with the Hobo Six. (:10) The Wrestlecrap Archive Disc Volume 2 will be available for pre-ordering next week.

RD's Trip to the Grocery World Food Aisle: RD prepares for an upcoming business trip to Germany and the Netherlands by pondering the notion of a Dutch wrestler with wooden shoes while eating some Stroop Koekjes, literally syrup cookies (:20). Those things are delicious, let me tell you. Cue your standard quips about eating in a sexual manner. (What, nothing about the shoes made out of wood?)

Obscure Wrestling Sad News: The Sandman retiring causes Blade to drink. (:24) RD believes Blade forgot the discussion of his son Twisted Sand starting his own wrestling career; of course RD himself forgets that that was the episode where Triple Kelly filled in for a missing Blade, so neither side is in the right here. The Warrior's ex-wife is trying to publish a tell all book about their marriage. (:28) This of course leads to a six-minute digression of Blade buying Kimberly Page's head, this week's Interactive Segment. RD wonders if Blade used the head as some sort of second foreskin/penis head, and further grinds the show to a halt by imagining the Warrior with a double-donger. Yeah, you're not missing much. (Besides, won't his hands be already full with shaking those ropes all the time?)

The brother of Smackdown's Eve, AKA the Anonymous Brooke clone who won the 2007 Diva Search (yeah I don't remember her either), won $100,000 on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?. (:38) Blade's passionate reading of her statement reminds RD of "Rambo" Greg Gagne. Here's a thought, why isn't HE on the show? License to print money I say.

Sources have told RD that the Shockmaster is getting his own action figure (:48), though whether or not royalties to George Lucas have to be paid for the stormtrooper helmet remain to be seen. Perhaps he can be this generation's King Haiku; "Does not come with helmet as illustrated." Dangerous Danny Davis and Trish Stratus are also getting their own figures.

Dream Analysis: Blade dreams of talking to Mickie James about Transformers in his moon van. (:52) I'm surprised he didn't compare her to a Ford Mustang. Don Mason once ate his own roofies. (:60) RD wonders if he even exists, forgetting entirely his role as Gordon Solie in Blade's Revenge of the Black Scorpion.

Speaking of people probably existing Schrödinger-style the latest TNA Correspondent, Nathaniel Edward Rodham Davis, enters with the TNA intro end-tailed with a very prophetic explosion. (:61) For those of you unable to listen to this latest...addition in WCR history (even if unintentionally) he's essentially RD's first book co-author Randy Baer with a high-pitched geek/nerd/poindexter tone of voice, like he's attempting to be a (white) Urkel or something. This is apparently considered worthy of 12 minutes of runtime.

This Week's "Question" ("trapped in 2002", much like our good friends here) (:73) is again not answered interrupted by Nathaniel attempting to ring back in. Ken the Major Danger Ranger's 4th attempt to send in a question (poor guy) is about referees. RD gets out of answering it by having the phone ring again. RD and Blade need (separate?) Titantrons of the Crickets for the Archive Disc.

Current (and Music-less) Wrestling News: Smackdown's ratings have dropped to 1.9 (:78). Let's hope the return of the Boogeyman brings them back up. Blade remembers the good old days of wrestling when things were good and the radio progrem had not yet begun. Santino may wrestle Roddy Piper, Goldust, or the Honky Tonk Man, depending on your votes for Cyber Sunday/Taboo Tuesday. (:82) Kelly Kelly is poised to pose for Playboy. No word on whether she'll do any handstands for it.

Seventeen barely able to Strip Syllables:
Kelly Kelly nude.
What's next? Anonymous Brooke
spreads in Beaver Hunt.

That phone ringing is going to haunt my nightmares, let me tell you.

076 Musical Sad Balls: September 21, 2007

Musical Sad Balls
(89 minutes)

RD and Blade wonder what to do with Vince's new son Hornswaggle.

Young Blade once put shoe polish in his hair to try and look like Daryl Hall. He repeats this from last time since no one listened to it the first time.

New temporary sponsor: WCWArulz.com. Come see them at the Dream Reunion Show at Kokomo!

RD's Trip to Disney World II (:15): RD ate at all the world restaurants in Epcot. Blade's Trip to Wal-Mart: A check-out lady is a mark. Blade is highly aroused. (:30)

Obscure Wrestling Sad News (:35): Check-out lady sources have told Blade that Ashley Massaro is to appear on Survivor. Rickey Morton is in jail once again for failure to pay child support. A rap about Ric Flair by a former Detroit Lion includes the requisite Wooooing. (:42) Kamala topped his rocking chair song with a song about molestation. (:44) Myspace is THE place to receive random music invites for an 'all-ages show' by random bots.

Question of the Week (:55): Blade: "We really should do a show where we try to be professional." The Ravishing One gets Rick Rude's theme song. Quote the lyrics: "his body's chiseled, abs all in a row / you'd think he was sculpted by Mike Angelo." 

 

Clocktrolla: 10083 days. (:62) Candice beat the Glamazon.

Abe Lincoln is an avid time-traveller. (:67) Sad Balls. (:70) Raw made Blade hit the bottle because Phoebe Cates got cut. (:69) The Diva Search is so bad now that its contestants all look like girls that are already Divas and it's only available on the Internet. HHH came back and destroyed like Godzilla.

Seventeen Unstoppable, Deadly, and Lethal Syllables:
Unstoppable Trips.
Call him the UnderHunter,
King of Burials.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Horn to my Swoggle, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WCWA
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Midgets jumping on couches, Lions, careers unfolding and women we're proud of, weddings
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Perfect Strangers, Leave It To Beaver, Phoebe Cates
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
• Cricket Chirps: 5
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
• Crüe Cues: 2
• GGG Bombs: 1
  

 

• Trish Stratus References: 2
• Ashley Massaro References: 2
  

• Question of the Week from: The Ravishing One
• My name is The Ravishing One, you know, like Rick Rude except even more ravishing. My question is this: would the Executioner, played by Buddy Rose, or the Executioner, played by Teddy Gordy, have been more successful and perhaps gone on to big money programs, had his entrance song be Hangman by Beat Happening? Please listen to the attached file and let me know your thoughts on the matter. I look forward to hearing them, just don't try to pawn off the Dusty Rhodes book on me. I don't know if that song would have really helped anyone.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Unstoppable Trips.
  Call him the UnderHunter,
  King of Burials.

 

067 No Old Country Way for Old Men: June 22, 2007

Don with Corn oil for the Iron Sheik
(94 minutes)

Brother Midnight wears no pants, making him Blade's long lost brother.

RD doesn't like Stephanie McMahon. He is completely incorrect regarding this issue.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Sad News: rumor has it that Kellogg's will purge its cartoon characters. (:17) Blade sings the Yummy Mummy jingle. Also he has some "Big Announcement": He wants to make a bet on when the Colts and Lions play on August 25th.

Co-Host Contest Week 14: (:23) RD is 'stunned' by a woman (Kelly) on the line. She will win this pointless, horrible charade. 12 of 22.

Mail Bag (:35): Seth Drakin (2) thinks the Burger King may be King Pedophile's long lost brother. The Burger King veggie burger sucks. Robert Conrad memories. RD goes into the WC Forum and brings back a question about Wendy Richter from WrestleMania I: Does the Iron Sheik have weird sex habits? (:42) Fabulous Moolah has a very scary action figure.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): There's a Tribute to RD Reynolds on Youtube. The Crickets have a Myspace page. Lord Alfred offers free balling. His daughter contacted Blade recently. Years ago, the Blue Meanie was involved with WrestleCrap.com. He is now selling Meanie sauce. (:55)

WSX has stripped its only champion of his belt despite not having made an episode for many months. (:58) The Zombie is back in the ring. (:62) TNA's complexity is killing itself. (:66) RD starts talking about Mark Twain for some reason.

WWE has ordered referees to not act like buffoons, which involves fining them. (:70) Candice Michelle has a small nose. ECW got the Boogeyman. (:76) Blade's friend Don (who likes beating off with corn oil) does not believe they kill off actual live worms. (:78) This is an excuse as any to remember American Starship Eagle and Coyote. Rumors abound that the Iron Sheik may be on TV, which is an excuse for RD to play sound clips. (:83) Interminable Raw.

Seventeen Big Syllables:
Big Steph's in the house.
Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
as big as a house.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Brother to my Midnight, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap DVD Rom, Meanie Sauce
• URLs not taken: 1. ChuckWooleryPullsAChain.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 14. Fascinating, beating off with corn oil, making a porno movie, proud sponsors of WrestleCrap Radio, madness from things you get at the grocery store, fellow crappers, folks, battery and like battery acid, things that won’t fly, reverse licenses to print money, the Rubix cube of wrestling, people obsessed with anuses, things that are no longer funny, evil witches
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 4. Kentucky Fried Movie, Chuck Woolerly, Love Connection, Robert Conrad
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• F-Bombs: 7. Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade

• Blade Burps: 1
• Krankor Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
  
• Zombie Growls: 2
  

 

• Shelly Martinez References: 3

 

• Mailbag
• Seth Drakin (2): I know you've talked about King Pedophile and the Crackhead Boo Berry. What are your thoughts on the King from Burger King? What would happen if he popped up out of the blue like a stalker and he gave you one of the Burger King's meals? Would you either a) take his gift and don't bother with him stalking you, b) call the police and have the guy arrested, or would you beat and maim the bastard till he goes away once and for all? Inquiring minds want to know! No sold.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Big Steph's in the house.
  Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
  as big as a house.
  

044 What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?: November 3, 2006

What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?
(80 minutes)

Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.

Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.

In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.

SERVED IN VIETNAM AT THE AGE OF -8

Obscure Wrestling News (:41): 30000 dumb people have bought Brooke Hogan's CD. Egomania is heritable. Among their releases (:47) WWE will release a Rey Mysterio Jr DVD called the Biggest Little Man. WWE will release a Wrestling's Greatest Families DVD. Vampiro will release a DVD about Vampiro.  [... in Canada.]

Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)

RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.

Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)

Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)

Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Mike Von Erich to my Fritz Von Erich, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Madison Carter
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 7. Websites hosted by Global Internet, awesome guys, you being the man, wetting yourselves in joy, insecure, that, Hulk Hogan’s money
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. E.T. The Extraterrestrial on the Atari 2600
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jed Shaffer, Corporal Kirchner

 

• F-Bombs: 4. Blade (3), Corporal Kirchner

 

• RD Time Outs: 1
• Krankor Laughs: 1

• Mailbag
• Daisy Tweeter: Hello RD and Blade, WrestleCrap Radio Listener #25 here. My question is: since Batista is known as the Animal, and is currently doinking Rebecca DiPietro, does that mean she is in Batistiality? No need to answer.
  
• Zack Gator: Should Vickie Guerrero be the next WWE Diva to do Playboy? Blade subscribes to Plump magazine.
  
• James from Kentucky: Do you have Vince McMahon's home number? Because I keep phoning his office and he doesn't return my calls. P.S. could you say hi to my friend Alex in Puerto Rico? Hello Alex.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku: Corporal Kirchner fills in after murdering Sergeant Haiku Blade.
  I'm Corporal Kirchner.
  I'm fucking alive, not dead.
  My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.
  

042 Fired by FaxTrolla: September 29, 2006

Fired by FaxTrolla
(61 minutes)

Blade has a question about Aquaman. RD has a phlegm disorder and is not in a good mood. Lord Alfred is asleep at the job. A new written feature on the site, Rewriting The Book, looks at 'what if?' wrestling scenarios. The Co-Hosts want you to watch Airplane! (:14)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Babies and animals are on the shrink-wrapped bag that holds your toilet paper even though they don't use it.

Obscure Wrestling News: Larry Zbysko is seeking to sell the rights to his biography for a movie. (:20) Rikishi was arrested by some US Marshals for not appearing in court for a hearing. RD and Trash Losagain will be at a Legends wrestling show in Kokomo. (:24) New Jack got into a fight at a concession stand due to someone mixing his drink. (:27)

Mail Bag (:35): Corey wonders on Russo's coming to TNA. Blade rambles. Bob thinks the Boogeyman should haunt TNA as the Closet Creature. Erik Majorwitz (2) still hasn't received Blade's prize. Blade makes excuses. (:40) M Lawson wants the Co-Hosts to have new nicknames. (:42)

Sad News: Trish was fired. (:43) RD sings and wants Blade to call him MC Scat Cat.

SMARTEST MAN IN WRESTLING

If Kevin Nash is ever hired by WWE again, RD will pronounce him the smartest man in wrestling. [WHELP, took him seven years.] On the other end of the scale, RD is amazed at how TNA makes some really stupid mistakes and is yet still around. (:47)

Kid Kash was fired. Justin Credible was fired via fax machine. (:51) RD suggests that Super Crazy get rid of his fax machine. Kurt Angle failed too many drug tests for the WWE, of all organizations, but TNA has hired him. RD dislikes that. (So I guess the honeymoon is over then?)

Seventeen Syllables of Kurt for you:
Six sides, one Angle.
Dixie forgot a ramp for
Kurt's future wheelchair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Jana to my Zan, scratch that. The Zan to my Jana, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WCWA Legends Show
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 11. Liquid, liquids, the book, subscribing to a newsletter, Larry Zybiskso, being arrested, fellow crappers, uh, someone who will probably getting pregnant in the near future, sourpuss, harmful to your health
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. SuperFriends
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Mr. Whipple

 

• RD Time Outs: 3
• Blade Time Outs: 2
  
• Krankor Laughs: 1
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1

 

• Tammy Sytch References:  2
• Trish Stratus References:  4
  

 

• Mailbag
• Corey: Hey old buddy old pal RD Reynolds and Blade "Don't call me Brakestown" Braxton, my question is twofold. With the exciting announcement of Vince Russo coming to TNA to help punch up the creative aspect of the show, how do you think Impact will be changed? And after all the damage he's done to the two big federations, how do you suppose Vince Russo keeps convincing people that he's anything more than a bottomless money pit? So long and thanks for all the Krankor, Corey. Blade: Impact will smell like gasoline.
• Bob: Last week was a very sad week for a lot of Crappers especially myself, with WWE releasing one of my favorite wrestlers, the Boogeyman. And with Russo heading over to TNA I got to thinking: maybe he'd bring in the Boogeyman. So my question is if Russo brings in Boogeyman, could he use the name the Closet Creature? He would be the BooGayMan.
  
• Erik Majorwitz (2): Blade promised me a signed copy of Toxic Avenger. I still haven't received it. I've watched the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians DVD you sent me numerous times RD; thank you for your timely shipping. Perhaps I should contact John Thomas to get this matter sorted out. Erik is a great guy. [No argument there.] Blade makes excuses.
  
• M Lawson: Hello RD. My question for you is this: would you call yourself R2-D2 Reynolds for this week's radio show? Blade could be Blade Breakdance. No.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The ADA isn’t happy with TNA’s lack of accessibility.
  Six sides, one Angle.
  Dixie forgot a ramp for
  Kurt's future wheelchair.

 

041 Release The Boogeyman!: September 22, 2006

Boogeyman Released
(54 minutes)

Sad News: Boogeyman fired.

Have your friends over for breakfast.

Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:09): Good Friends cereal sucks. Blade eats granola, flakes, and twigs in "fun dildo shapes the kids will enjoy."

Obscure Wrestling News (:17): RVD's comic book store closed. Kamala will sing at an event. WWE is suing rapper The Game for supposedly infringing on Sean Michael's name. Blade is reminded of porn star Sean Michaels, of Sean Bond fame. That is, if he can escape from his pit that is affecting his audio quality.
 
Mail Bag (:26): OT (2) questions technicalities. Aaron informs us that John Thomas and BM Punk now have Myspace pages too. (:30) "Maybe RD Reynolds wouldn't" let Iron Sheik humble him in the old country way. RD and Trash Losagain once met a drunk off his ass Sheik at WrestleMania VIII. Repo Man Barry Darsow was not the first wrestling repo man, according to Hobo Diablo. (:34)

WWE hired Brad Armstrong, among other old guys. (:36) Too Cold Scorpio has a big penis, "big and round as a dinner plate." (:39) WrestleCrap.com will not update in October so that Blade and RD can write more of the book. Blade hits the bottle out of happiness because Vince Russo is coming to TNA, which may be going head to head against Raw. (:47)

Seventeen Syllable Tribute to Our Good, Our Now Departed Friend, The Boogeyman.
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The ying to my yang and the Ko to my Tex, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Wizard of Oz Museum, Toto’s Tacos
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Riots, our good old friends on MySpace, Repo Man, transsexual dinosaurs
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. MySpace
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2

 

• Mailbag
• OT (2): On last week's radio show during the talk of Krypto, Blade went to call him a son of a bitch but he stopped himself to keep from swearing. However, he brings up a good point here. Since Krypto is a male dog, he would technically be a son of a bitch. So my question to you is would you allow Blade to refer to Krypto as a son of a bitch this week to make up for stopping himself last week? RJ Fletcher: Yes.
  
• Aaron: Dear RD and Mr. Brakestown, if the Iron Sheik offered to humble you in the old country way or any other way for free, wouldn't cost you a dime, would you let him? Trash Losagain might.
  
• Hobo Diablo: Dear radio hosts extraordinaire, this week I was evicted from my home. When the repo man came, he looked nothing like Barry Darsow, having neither the Lone Ranger mask or the rope. Was he an imposter and have I been duped? Was he instead Nasty Ned Brady?
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  He's the Boogeyman.
  And he's...coming to get his
  unemployment check.

 

031 Double Trouble: June 23, 2006

Say everything twice. Say everything twice.
(38 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery now has an intro. It's a sped-up intro to The Streak by Ray Stevens. (:06) RD discusses organic macaroni and cheese. Speaking of bizarre pastas...

Obscure Wrestling News: Volkoff's Maryland delegate election opponent is airing old wrestling footage on TV in his ads, so Volkoff responds by getting his own Myspace page and the Iron Sheik to help him. (:14) Lex Luger is a (drunken) idiot. (:18) Blade relates how he was in a strip club where Gorgeous George was a stripper. (:24) The new OVW booker is (Rambo) Greg Gagne. (:26)

So many people on Smackdown have gone. ECW's fortune teller actually tells the past, but is no good a replacement for the vanishing Zombie. WWE should've fired the midgets . . . out of a canon. DX are homoerotic.

Speaking of things that will make you poop with joy:
Too much bare male ass.
Was that Raw or the World
Wrestling Enema?

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Macho to my Libre, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 17. Horrible, bizarre pastas, outliving things, bad ideas , Randy Savage, Billy Jack Haynes, black hat with Oregon on it, Randy Savage 5 (6), generic Playboy skanks, being three inches from a hole, fired midgets, putting Max Mini in a cage, things that will make you poop
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Franco-American Raviolios, MySpace, Gallagher
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Iron Sheik
  

 

• F-Bombs: 2. Iron Sheik
  

 

• Zombie Growls:  2
• RD Time Outs:  1
  

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Too much bare male ass.
  Was that Raw or the World
  Wrestling Enema?

 

026 The He-Man Peep Show: April 14, 2006

The He-Man Peep Show
((( recorded in basement-echo fidelity ))) (38 minutes)

Blade Braxton is live in studio. His lateness prevented them from attending the funeral home Easter Egg Hunt so they watched Cat in the Hat instead. They also saw Slammed. Blade and RD spent time together in a comic book store where Blade had a little accident with his unit.

Thumbs Up, Giant Guy!

RD's and Blade's Trip to the Grocery, now with music (:11): Blade got Boo Berry and King Pedophile cereals.

Obscure Wrestling News: Ken Patera is available for motivational speeches. (:15) Boogeyman was hiding his gimmick during his WrestleMania trip. (:17) Steve McMichael was banned from WrestleMania, most likely due to all the bad angles he's been involved in. Some time is wasted with Candice Michelle and her chiropractic husband just to mention planetchiropractic.com. (:20) The Question of the Week from Angus McCloud regards favorite Mama's Family episodes. (:23) A video store had many unsold copies of Fat Albert: The Movie. Randy Orton was suspended for sixty days.

The Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
RKO is gone.
Shit related? Yeah, for shit-
ting on my Fridays.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Mad Man Jeff to my Dorky manager Jeff, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1.  Little & Sons Funeral Home
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 11. Putting the fun in funeral, Cat in the Hat, that, tripping on acid, giant turds, something that is my thing, dumps (2), homoerotic touching, Jesus, things that are not boring.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 12. Slammed!, David Koresh, tripping on acid, Mama’s Family, Family Feud, Richard Dawson, Movie Gallery, Philip Michael Thomas, Eddie and the Cruisers, Lee Majors, Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• Ken Patera References: 7

• Question of the Week from: Angus McCloud
  
• With the current state of the WWE and TNA and the uprising of smaller indie feds, such as Ring of Honor and Combat Zone Wrestling, there's one question that still plagues my mind: what's your favorite episode of Mama's Family? Family Feud. 
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Poop is gross.
  RKO is gone.
  Shit related? Yeah, for shit-
  ting on my Fridays.

 

023 WrestleCrap Rumble: March 17, 2006

WrestleCrap Rumble
((( recorded in high phone-buzzing fidelity ))) (33 minutes)

KILLER BEE NO LONGER
ON THE LOOSE

NBC scheduled Saturday Night's Main Event for 8 P.M. RD has started writing a column for Fighting Spirit magazine in the UK. Wrestlemania's main event makes no sense, but there will be a Boogeyman match. Blade would see it if his bill collectors would not cut into his line.

Obscure Wrestling News: The Trish and James stalker angle has been "spayed and neutered". Candice Michelle used a doppelganger for her Playboy photos. RD mimics (badly) a concerned Israeli mother in Irish falsetto. Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine are reuniting for some show. RD proposes a segment called Wrestling Hard Times. Brian Blair says his career was ended when he tripped in a restaurant recently and not thirty years ago.

The Question of the Week has louder music than usual, and the Dusty Rhodes book still lingers around RD's house. This week from James Cobb: Flava Flav should avoid Boogeyman.

Scott Steiner has a large tattoo. Blade calls Samoa Joe "Carmel Delight Joe". Verne Gagne is going into the Hall of Fame inducted by "Rambo" Greg Gagne. Blade hits the WrestleRock Rumble music.

Seventeen Syllables of Funk:
Verne's been inducted.
Screw Cena's mumble. Here's Verne's
Hall of Fame rumble.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The cousin Luke to my cousin Butch, Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Writing, surprises, Candice, scantily dressed women
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 2. Motley Crüe, Casio keyboard
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• Trish Stratus References: 2.
• Mickie James References: 1.
  

• Question of the Week from: James Cobb
  
• Since Wrestlemania is approaching and Vince McMahon has been known to have matches between wrestlers and celebrities, do you think there will be a match at Wrestlemania 22 between clock hatah the Boogeyman and clock lovah Flava Flav? NO.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Funktified Edition
  Verne's been inducted.
  Screw Cena's mumble. Here's Verne's
  Hall of Fame rumble.