277 RD-Animator: October 30, 2018

Costume Ideas For Halloween: Idiot In Car and Idiot in Neon!

53 minutes

RD attempts to play it straight. This lasts for a minute before his "doorbell" rings. His subsequent receiving of a package, which contains the SeanceTrolla N08 Cauldron, makes Blade laugh. He turns it on, making it play cliche "scary music" and causing a dot matrix printer to print him an ominous warning. (:08)

'Someone' told Blade last progrem that his low register voice makes him sound sleepy. And here I thought he was just drunk or hungover.

As is his eternal custom Roddy Piper warns the kids about idiots in cars. Blade has some issues with his syntax. (:13)

Blade: "You know, wouldn't it be fun if we were like down to two listeners, and those two listeners were named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton?"

A now teenage RD Junior has been to Disneyworld at least once a year. (:17) Sad News: Rafiki's ride is being shut down (it's the circle of life you see).

Blade shills being on TV and in more horror movies. (:24)

Brooke Hogan: Fashion Hero's 2nd season is going international. Apparently this is a thing. Blade sings badly without RD's MIDI to accompany him.

At Wrestlecon April 5th Joey Ryan will have some sort of Penis Party right in the middle of the MetLife stadium. Blade does some more random singing.

Piper reminds people to say please and thank ya.

Tammy has finally been released from prison. (:35) She now wants to do a "farewell tour" before going back to school and "private life". For her sake and well-being, I sincerely hope it works out this time. Unfortunately experience and history tells me things won't change for the better, not even now. One has to just wait and see I suppose.

Blade continues to confuse himself with the Midnight Rose. Why, it's almost like they're one and the same person.

The Cauldron threatens Blade this time with a Pete Townshend lyric. Blade is definitely one to get fooled again. And again. And again after that.  (:38)

Derek Quinn of the Powerhouse of Sound DJ Service (3), asks about other wrestlers who might provide their own Halloween safety tips. (:39) They think Virgil could work. RD also wants to pay for Tammy to give tips. (That sure sounded wrong.) They also want Ken Patera, what with his experience with being hungry.

Piper reminds you to take (all) your candy back home to your parents before you eat it. (:42)

:46 Before the two can continue to further mess around as is their itinerary, the OG SeanceTrolla activates, "reviving" Nate and his coarse voice to strangle RD in the name of TNA Total Non Stop Action Wrestling. On the other end a sleepy Blade is "woken up" by John Kelly, who has sources. (:50)

Only Johnny 6 is left to do the Haiku (:51) in a rather lower register of voice than usual for some reason. Perhaps he too is sleepy. Further, his theme boops and beeps that bring him in are of somewhat of a low quality this time around, most likely due to the hard work of the SeanceTrolla reviving him into undeath and NOT because RD lost the original version and asked us for a replacement copy.

No, really.

Silver Shamrock:
Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.
Ha. Ppy. Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.
Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.

Piper reminds you to have lots of fun trick-or-treating, and if you have any leftover/bad candy to send to Vince to poison him.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, Drive in Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• Blade's Poor Performance Excuse: Sick/tired lately

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Delivery Man, N.E.R.D., CS John Kelly
  

• Blade Time Outs:  2
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 3
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
• Cricket Chirps: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Derek Quinn (3)
  
• Since the dearly departed Hot Rod is no longer with us, what wrestling personality would you like to hear Halloween safety tips from? Blade: Virgil.
  

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Everyone’s dead. Who will do the haiku?  Johnny!
  
  Happy Halloween!
  Happy happy Halloween!
  Happy Halloween!

 

190 Resolution: January 14, 2011

95 minutes

- Hunt down Johnny Ace

It's nice to see Blade try (and fail) to be more clean. To use a Blade-style analogy, it's like watching a cripple try and climb a flight of stairs unaided. RD thinks of using a Swear Jar for that task.

Both Co-Fruitcakes had a boring New Year's Eve. Blade was injured while RD fell asleep before midnight. RD is selling old movies on eBay if you're also interested in getting equally bored for the NEXT New Year's. Blade models his life after Randy Savage.

RD wants to 'turn things around' for the site (:09) by making a new column for it. The rest of his talk is just rambling about the progrem. Bad quality sounds of lightning and Blade being clean interrupts RD's shilling. (:14)

:18 Blade tries some Throwback Doritos (not made from natural sugar). He approves.

:22 Tammy Sytch is writing a cookbook on indiegogo.com (and not belly dancing!) that can be funded by just about anyone, quite similar to the Rose's movie that was mentioned and promptly forgotten about last year. Let's just hope she doesn't have any recipes involving eggs. RD thinks she will belly dance based on the "gogo" part of the url. For once, Blade has to explain to him the concept of crowdfunding. Yes, I know.

David Arquette is in rehab...since December. Boy, that's some hot latest wrestling news for you. Dave Meltzer can only marvel at such speed. SPEAKING OF, Blade's ex-girlfriend did not like RD's gift screensaver of the former WCW Champion. (:30)

Ashley Massaro will be on a bad sounding copy of The Bachelorette with potential suitors actually fighting for her. RD has to explain nicknames of their Divas to new listeners. Blade loses track. Is the Midnight Rose homeless? (:40)  He'll be wrestling in Ottawa (in Kansas, far south of Canada) on the 21st and is also to be getting his own well made tour T-shirts.

:45 Question Of The Week: TV's Mr. Neil of Facebook wants a new football bet. Blade wants to bet on the Pro Bowl. RD accepts, but he'd prefer to bet on if the game is actually good.

:49 Ed Salo's Trash Baggin' won this year's FFL with a 5-8 record. RD calls him up. He once again answers sleepily. He wins despite not properly updating his roster from week to week, but he has a field day having fun with it all. He rewarded himself with a Classic Boo Berry shirt. RD dismisses him by ending the Skype conversation.

:59 John Kelly. Something about making an actual feud based on that fucking blasted love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle. See, THIS is why TNA is failing.

Blade can't get through his bad jokes anymore so the Ratings Reaper returns from his exile since the Roast to claim him. (I sincerely hope this is also how Horatio Caine meets his end when they cancel CSI: Miami.)

:67 Mike Check calls from prison to pad out the progrem length. He was once based Tuskaloosa's WEAT "Eat In Tuskaloosa" as Jammin' Jay Duvall, and with Pete "PB" Basille did "Lunch with PB & Jay" Taylor Wilde has retired rather than continue to work in the healthy environment that is TNA. Of course, Mike has always wanted to get Wilde with her. This is also probably the first I've heard Cat Stevens on US-based radio in years.

:75 Shawn Michaels is going to the Hall Of Fame. This is a good an excuse as any for Jim Ross to call in. He resolves to get Andre's HOF ring for his penis. Let's hope Hollywood John doesn't claim it first.

There is still a week left as of this writing to vote for the Gooker. This year we have: Abyss and his Hulk Hogan Green Lantern-style ring, Edge kidnapping Paul Bearer, The New Monday Night War, another blasted Hornswaggle angle, Orlando Jordan, THEY (Bischoff and Hogan) 'coming' to TNA, John Cena getting 'fired' yet still showing up for work, Standing Up for Linda's Senate Bid, NXT Season 3, and Bret Hart Vs. Vince McMahon.

Mike Adamle was caught drunk driving. Blade has one piece of ACTUAL advice for him: get drunk at home instead.

Seventeen Syllables of advice for him:

Adamle's a lush.

He needs a new role model:

Mister Blade Braxton.

Blade owes RD $7 at the end of all this.

189 White Christmas: December 21, 2010

91 minutes

RD knows about Blade's drunkenness beforehand, so he's ready to deflect his early bad jokes. Santa likes them though, and RD plays his crazy laughter from another famous bad movie to needle Blade's bawdiness. (Santa Claus Conquers The Martians) He should do that more often in my opinion.

:16 Five year old RD Junior is more mature than the radio progrem. SPEAKING OF people being mature, Blade wants to continue hosting the show with him when he gets of age, assuming he doesn't die or become Mike Check's new bunk-mate. Regardless, his local Santa has a barely disguised trash can as a 'postbox'. On the subject of other uses for a trash can, Blade is still thinking with his penis, angering RD to no end. His grandfather didn't have to put up with any of THAT stuff in his time!

:23 Batista's daughter has her own sex tape. Is that like a rite of passage nowadays? Fortunately RD shares my mischievous way of thinking and gets cleverly crafted revenge by 'leaving' for a few minutes. Thus, what would normally have been generic Sad News about some randomly generic woman connected to the New York Giants turning down an offer to work with WWE is made infinitely funnier, as drunk Blade is left stumbling over his lines and repeating himself, while (if you listen very closely) you can hear RD laugh quietly in the background. He should REALLY do this more often.

Meanwhile Scott Hall caused a 'disturbance' at a gas station. That's all we get from the Faxtrolla, which raises an important question: Was he being disturbed over the high cost of gas? This gives Blade license to shout randomly.

:38 'Satan' calls, sounding far more sober and calmer than Blade. Something's not right here...This time Shane Helms is angry at Shawn Michaels for some reason or other. Then again most people are too so it's not particularly uncommon or out of character really.

:43 John Kelly has another bad 'pun'/legal advice about Tara/Victoria's Custom Shop almost burning down.

:47 RD has had enough and skips to opening presents.

• Harry Simon sent RD some video tapes. 
• Kelly sent RD Rifftrax's DVD of Plan 9 From Outer Space, always a winner. 
• Steven Breech sent Blade some action figures, some of them decapitated. He also had a He-Man bag clip thing. 
• Stevey J sent RD some nice foods from Montreal and a Rocky III Thunderlips figure (not decapitated). 
• Fire At The Time sent Blade Lita's Bestiality Video (on DVD!) as well as some trading cards for the duo. RD got a Tommy Dreamer on the toilet figure. 
• Ed Salo sent the duo some Japanese cereal. He also found an old tabloid article about Ric Flair seemingly help plan Operation Desert Storm.
• The Gillman sent a donation to the site, which was very charitable of him. 

:67 From Jake "Yippee" Lloyd Jr., RD gets his figure and a really old Star Wars game. Jake also sent Blade a throw of Boba Fett and Mickey Mouse as Luke. Stubby sent RD The Twilight Zone's Willie the dummy. Blade also sent him a King Pedophile shirt.

All-Time leader in Trashbags

Blade's last gift is perhaps the most interesting of all. (If you can call it that.) (:74) RD sent him an audio CD that's basically the sports equivalent of one of those personalized children's books where they find themselves within the story. In this case, Blade is the QB of the Lions (and a beacon of the community too at that), leading them against Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. RD plays an early excerpt but you can listen to the whole thing here. Now I wonder how it would sound if I were Captain of the Habitant playing against Detroit for the Stanley...[Hopefully better than this - Clarence]

:80 The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes have a 'gift' for the Listeners: a WCR rendition of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, made through a 'get together as a group' of the progrem's cast of characters that RD & Blade could do impressions of. Apparently they've already forgotten about the last time they got together, at the Roast, which was just months ago. Well, when it turned out like that, I'd try and forget about it too. Cue out of tune music.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the First Day Of Christmas C.S. Irwin gave to me...
A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Second Day Of Christmas Angry Jim gave to me...
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for Johnny Ace and one for McMahon)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Third Day Of Christmas Gay Popeye gives to me...
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk. 
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for RD and one for Blade)
And A Partridge in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fourth Day Of Christmas Satan gave to me...
4 Virgin Sacrifices
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Bottles of lube (my wife hasn't fucked me in about two years)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fifth Day Of Christmas Sir Alec gave to me...
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessed Wrestlers
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Years...of your wife not fucking you
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Sixth Day Of Christmas Dixie gave to me...
6 Sugar Cookies (to make a Samoa Joe snowman)
5 Long John Douches (right underneath the table)
4 Possessed Facebook Profiles
3 Big and Burly's
2 Bankrupt Restaurants
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Seventh Day Of Christmas Stubby gave to me...
7 Sleazy Crack Whores 
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches (gotta love that malt vinegar) 
4 Daemonic Twitters
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Nuts in Dark Journey's Mouth
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas Nintendo John gave to me...
8 Power Gloves on the Nintendo (His audience cheers)
7 Contaminated Meals
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Evil MySpaces
3 Requests For Peter Gazer's Phone Number
2 Fuck Yourselves
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Ninth Day Of Christmas Mike Check he's going to give to you...
9 Bumper Stickers (from WSUX in Tuscaloosa, Alabama where he was Danny Dryson, and with Washington Jones did the Wash'N'Dry for the Tide)


RD: "I like it the song has come to a complete stop while he keeps talking."


8 Super Mario Games on the Nintendo
7 Sloppy Blow-Jobs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Failed Exorcisms
3 Periscopes
2 Assholes Shoved Up (Jim!)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas Midnight Rose gave to me...
10 Dead Cockroaches
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Amazon Chops
7 Premature Ejaculations
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessions Of Sunny
3 Dock Dinghies
2 Meat Beatings
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas B.M. Punk gave to me...


(RD interrupts before he can shoot his load, the Scrooge)


On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas R.D. Reynolds gave to me...
11 SPEAKING OFs...Verne Gagne masturbating
10 Copies of Maria's New Album
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Pro-Am On The Nintendo!
7 Bottles Of Wood Polish
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Bowls Of Pea Soup Vomit
3 Nights With Pluto
2 Feathered Boas
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Twelth Day Of Christmas Blade Braxton gave to me...
12 Cans Of Miller Lite (and maybe 10 JPEGs of Mickie James naked too)
11 SPEAKING OFs
10 Scars From Eating Some Holiday Pineapple All Night Long
9 Bumper Stickers


Blade: "You're making this song feel like The 500 Days Of Christmas, buddy."


8 Back Issues Of Nintendo Power Magazine
7 Oozing STDs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Linda Blair Nude Photos
3 Not Just Spinach that Gay Popeye likes in the can, Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Packs Of Beef Jerky from JR's Restaurant (and not from that cocksucker Hillbilly Jim)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

188 Buying Buttons: December 3, 2010

87 minutes

Blade being still as lazy (and drunk) as ever gives RD pause. He and Don went to a Misfits show and went to the dentist's (though not at the same time.) He attributes this to 'basic chemistry'.

Sad News: RD & Blade are currently at the bottom of the FF league...while I am second. Hmmm. Blade's brother-in-law had a fantasy team named the Manboobie Bombers. I'm surprised Blade didn't beat him to the punch to name his own team that.

:20 Mama keeps breaking plates. RD's latest Black Friday outing took him to three stores opening earlier than usual. At Target the woman in front of RD has troubles getting a discount with candy bars. At Meijer someone had a full cart of strawberries and one (1) cucumber. Popeye is interested. At Menards the Chick-Fil-A cow paid a visit providing free cocoa for all. A woman in line used a wheelchair for a cart. Perhaps she somehow gained temporary superhuman strength to get through the day's challenges? [Well Black Friday Woman would make a better superhero than Subtracting Man at least - Clarence]

:42 Blade & Corey & Don went to see the Misfits while in Kansas. (Blade is reminded of that time Don peed on a cripple.) Wearing his Rose mask he managed to get Jerry Only to go with a Celebrity TRIP with him, where we find that he loves the Peanut Butter Crunch and calls RD an elephant.

:52 'Satan' calls again. Marty Jannetty is now rapping on New Jack's FB page. His 'lyrics' are so bad that even RD has to censor him. That's unnecessary in my opinion; after all, only 12 people listen to this show and they're probably too socially insecure to contact their local representative to tell them their sensibilities are being offended. Bah!

:59 Was Mickie James exposed? She had some sort of nipple slip and her dress went flying away while performing. Blade is of course very amused.

:63 RD prefers Blade's Question to the one actually sent this week (by Shawn). A minute later John Kelly calls to discuss Jeff Hardy's strange looking belt. He's so bad that David Lee Roth soundboards in just to say "No." Is he the new Chief Jay Strongbow now? RD wastes time reading about a children's game on Wikipedia.

:73 Someone (Caitlyn) wins on a show (NXT) not even on TV any more. New world champion Miz went against Jerry Lawler for a bit. Blade discovers Hardy's belt has Don's mask on it. Looks like it's time for Jeff to bring out the corn oil! John "Yawn" Cena still shows up on TV despite being 'fired'. His Mexican cousin Juan Cena is now on the air with him.

Seventeen Holiday Syllables on him:
Mexican Cena.
What is his Spanish catchphrase?
"¿You can't si me?"

187 The Final Frontier...Of Crap!: November 24, 2010

80 minutes

RD gives a disclaimer: This was recorded on Monday night, around the same time that the Miz defeated CM Punk to become WWE Champion. Obviously BM is not happy.

Sad News: Jillian Hall has been released. Blade wants to ring a bell for her. Luke Gallows was also released, but since he was basically Blade's clone he doesn't really care. Also, Blade looked Husky Harris on the days that he didn't look like Brian Pillman.

With the previous episode being really good (in their opinion anyway), they thus have the fearful thought that today's would not be terrible in response...like Star Trek III. I don't know, it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, have they seen the recent J.J. Abrams movie?

Or the Voyager episode "Threshold" for that matter.

Old School RAW somehow brought back Lord Alfred through a terrible impersonation, so Blade counters with HIS terrible Lord Alfred impersonation. Needless to say it sounds too Oriental, like Christopher Lee when he played Fu Manchu. (Assuming anyone could see him anyway.) They thus wonder how Global Internet's Greg's voice impersonations would go. (Probably surprisingly well, in my opinion.) Blade gets strange dreams dozing off while listening to them discuss Craig DeGeorge on earlier episodes. Also for Thanksgiving, a special treat: All 6 WC DVDs can be yours for just $21! (Too bad I already have them all.) Be warned, their books now look different somehow.

:24 RD took another trip to Disneyland in the last few days. While waiting in line to Captain EO he saw someone shill for the TNA taping taking place nearby. Needless to say, few came. (Now why do I feel Clarence will write something about this this week?) Also for some reason some promotional advertising Shrek 4D seemed to involve SoCal Val. The two wonder on the mystery of her vanishing nose.

:39 A George Foreman biopic may have Ernest "The Kat" Miller in the title role. [No doubt this will have George calling someone's momma after he gets "Rope-a-Doped" - Clarence] On the other end of the movie making business Joanie Laurer attempts to squash rumors she is making another porn movie. SPEAKING OF the strange things people do,  Blade's ex-girlfriend got angry over yet another picture of a wrestling diva.

:51 The Devil makes another call in. He reveals his plan of taking over the world through social networking sites. This time Tammy Sytch is angry at WWE yet again for passing her by on their Legends show. Then Satan wishes the two a Happy Thanksgiving. He's nothing if not considerate, I'll give him that.

:56 Jim Ross calls in, angry as ever, especially considering he was recently at the Legends show. He's making his time losing money by selling turkeys from ice cream vans. Needless to say it did not go well. Now, if he had turkey flavored ice cream...

Meanwhile Mickey James is going to have Meet & Greet in Virginia. Of course Blade would probably miss his chance to go see her.

:66 John Kelly calls. There are rumors that Hogan's gotten married to someone who is looks like Brooke. His puns are all over the place in response, causing RD to finally admit he doesn't think of him as a good TNA correspondent any more. This means only one thing - he's going to have a 'tragic' death soon. I fully expect Jimmy Smits to replace him for the role.

:71 The latest DVD release of the Top 50 Superstars in WWE History did not go well with many people, due to the fact that Hogan is #23, ahead of Bruno Sammartino.

Seventeen (plus Five) Syllables of exception to it:
Top 50 Wrestlers.
What a total load of shit.
Where are Ax and Smash?/Where is Adonis?

RD "I don't think a lot of people will be thankful for this show."

186 Show me...Hulk's penis!: November 5, 2010

82 minutes

[X][X][X]

"Old School RAW" is upcoming, but it does not seem to involve Rob Bartlett or the Rizzotti sisters, according to pwinsider.com. Lord Alfred shills while Blade interrupts promotional consideration. Yes he's drunk. How ever did you guess?

:16 RD talking about Slim Jims is interrupted by Blade being interrupted by crickets, 'senate news', eating Slim Jims with Don (which is not even a Don story) and an ACTUAL Don story, where he molested a girl at seven with a stick. His music plays throughout.

:24 Hillbilly Jim has made some kind of jerk beef turkey. Jealous of this, a very angered Jim Ross calls. RD gets rid of him by asking about his wife.

:29 Some things are going on at NXT, most notably a 'fake wedding' between Oksana Baiul and Goldust with reference to Johnny Ace, Ted DiBiase Sr presiding, Border Patrol Officer Dick Apopolos in attendance, Michael Cole's gong, and Caitlyn. Meanwhile Jeff Hardy is now a father. (:39) Also, Blade & Midnight Rose seem to be tag teaming at various places.

:45 Sir Alec and his audience entourage are currently visiting Philadelphia at Ultimate Kennedy's story request, or so he says. The real reason however, is that he wants to help thrash the old Spectrum. He reads something about Kane and the Undertaker's brotherly love, in the literal sense.

:53 Blade tells a story about his strange ex-girlfriend that he promised he would tell from last week, for some reason using some music from Psycho. Was her last name Bates or something? One time she was sick of Eric Bischoff on her TV screen.

:56 Question. Sergei on Facebook wonders how come when one wrestler enters, often the other wrestler vacates the ring for him. Blade thinks of it as a matter of pride.

:62 SPEAKING of wonderings, John Kelly reminds us of TNA being on Family Feud. This for some reason warrants RD and Blade going at each other at the Face Off. RD gets the number one answer when he wants a GLOW run in at the game show. Then John leaves. 

:67 Linda loses her election, Vince loses his erection, and they both lose $50 million. Lita returns to RAW, to Blade's delight. What he is NOT delighted about is Pee Wee Herman guest hosting, as he reflects on the strange man. RD apologizes for him. Also Hogan flashed his penis while playing some game or other while Brooke was watching. There's probably an incest joke to be made here (but not by me).

Seventeen Syllables about Hulk Hogan's penis:
Hulk's exposed penis.
He got 'Juicy' with Brooke and Hart.
Limp five inch python.

185 Bloody Halloween: October 29, 2010

81 minutes

Blade is 'sober' again on this special Halloween, which once again involves Roddy Piper PSAs. Something involving the theme song to Over The Top.

:20 The Trip is going in circles/time loops. Quisp cereal. Swearing at restaurants. Arby's Chocolate Turnover is something BM Punk would like.

RD breaks the cycle and knocks on the door so Popeye can visit, playing his theme music on speakerphone. (:26) He brings his 'nephews' Huey, Dewie and Louie, Pimpeye, Peepeye and Poopeye who sound like Jake Lloyd Jr, for trick or treating. Blade doesn't give them anything as they didn't follow Roddy's rules. "If you're old enough to knock up a woman, you're too old to be knocking on doors on Halloween," says he. "And make sure whenever you knock up that woman, you say please and thank ya!" adds RD.

:32 RD wants you to Sit Down For WrestleCrap. The Great Khali is appearing in the Indian variant of Big Brother because 'his wife wanted him to'. The show is named Big Boss for some reason, but unfortunately I don't believe David Hayter would be involved in any capacity with it. Meanwhile the Boogeyman is now calling himself Slither. Blade yawns.

:38 For some reason Satan, i.e. the Devil, calls in, fully prepared with the theme to The Exorcist. Dirty Dutch Mantell is talking smack on his Facebook page. Wait, he has a Facebook page? This 'Devil' has more important things to do, like laugh evilly at his favorite team New Jersey for burning $100 million dollars on Ilya Kovulchuk, so he randomly says 'I'm leaving now' and uses the midi Star Trek TNG music to disappear. I wonder, could he be... RD once again calls the show incomprehensible.

Sad News to Blade: the original Centaur Jenna Van Oy has recently married. Our current Centaur looked great on TNA, according to Blade's nonsense rapping. She's also going to be 'auctioned' for charity like some kind of prop. For some reason Blade wants to win the auction with a roofie, if he doesn't pull a Don Mason and take it himself before hand of course.

:50 Jim Ross calls in. Angered by legends shows done by other wrestlers, and the failure of his lawn mowing BBQ business, he decides to make his own UWF Haunted House. Featuring Sting as the Invisible Man! Of course, he can only attract one customer with his $200 fee. (Was it Steve Williams?)

:60 Ultimate Kennedy (10) asks about the perfect employee smell. Blade says tuna.

SPEAKING OF employees John Kelly calls, on track to break the TNA Corresponding record. Of course there's a problem, as Blade's street has suddenly transformed into a stock car racetrack. After we learn that Katie Lee Burchill will appear on TNA as Winter, J.K. gives everyone a near scare when he gets hit by a Pontiac (driven by the Devil, one would wonder) [The Devil can't play a fiddle. What chance does he have to drive a stick shift? - Clarence]. Thankfully he manages to evade becoming his own crime scene by doing a Starsky and Hutch style dodge over the car roof.

:69 RD and Blade make fun of the foolish wrestling community for thinking that the Undertaker would brawl with Brock Lesnar while watching him at an MMA match. Huey has a laughing fit at this. Voters in Connecticut are (finally? I guess) allowed to wear WWE shirts while at the booths. I don't really get it either.

Laying down Seventeen Syllables to get us out of it:
Wrestling shirts at polls.
Why Vince sued Connecticut.
Linda still won't win.

184 In the John: October 8, 2010

58 minutes

RD had acid reflux the previous month and worried for his voice, including amnesiac medicine for some reason, which made things difficult for working on the radio progrem. (Mrs. Deal is Jake Lloyd Jr. according to him.) The good news thankfully is he's fine for now. Thus, Blade wants to get things done quickly for him, for a change. Sad News: RJ Fletcher is no longer with us. Even worse, RD isn't doing well in the Fantasy Football League, going winless currently. [I feel his pain. I have learned two things this year. 1. Jahvid Best is a beast. 2. Whoever owns Jahvid Best in my FFL (Me) is an idiot - Clarence] Even I have beaten him! We have probable replacements for the Co-Hosts, including two kids???

:23 Blade tries Madden NFL 11 Doritos. He likes them. Sad News: Boo Berry looks different, thanks to "Computer Generated Down Syndrome".

:33 Sad News: George Steele injured himself on a 'flip dive'. Not Sad News: Paul Bearer is a grandfather.

:40 Statement Of The Week. Brian J (2) likes college football and invites people to a game. Sadly he forgot to send an actual Question.

:44 RD loses his place in the itinerary so John Kelly comes in. He attempts to leave early too. TNA is doing drug testing just for kicks.

:48 John Cena joining the Nexus angers children online. Blade hates them. Is he secretly W.C. Fields? [I'm really beginning to think you are one of Mike Check's illegitimate sons - Clarence] RD: "We really need something to interrupt us here." So Nintendo John calls. His audience stays behind to cheer.

Sum everything up in Seventeen Syllables:
Cena in Nexus.
Wow. Golly. Jeepers. Oh boy.
Raw still sucks a dick.

183 Hollyweird(Crap) Radio: September 10, 2010

75 minutes

Blade, Midnight Rose, and a random woman as Katie Vick are going to appear in a 'movie' named Smut. Blade asks for donations as RD wonders how they will blue-screen them in at the same time. He's also made his own drinking game based on Blade's constant interruptions. (Blade meanwhile has some bingo board on his Facebook Wall.)

:17 Blade is still stuck on 80's actresses like Jennifer Jason Leigh. Have I mentioned that he's still pseudo-drunk? RD wants him to try Cinnabon cereals but he doesn't like nuts. 

:25 Some old '80s HBO feature presentation bumper is listened to. It's nice music though. Billy Gunn was caught with a younger woman, or as RD says "caught with his penis in the cookie jar." Even worse, the other woman's nickname is Pinky. There's even video of this. RD plays Sad News music for them as they make marriage arguments funny again.

The Marty Jannetty of the Hart Foundation

Jim "Anvil" Neidhart was arrested for drug possession and for his really strange antics in his retirement, i.e.  sitting around doing nothing other than getting stoned. For some reason Blade remembers when Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch lost a match and Wendi Richter was cut off by Mean Gene for commercials. Jim Ross calls. Goodness, I've missed him. (:42) He wonders if Korchenko is after him, makes more concoctions and is having some random trouble with coupons. His next step to get rich: a BBQ & Lawn Service. He cooks for someone while Hollywood John mows their grass.

:48 'Shane' [Mike "Virgil/Shane/Vincent" Jones wrote in? - Clarence] asks something about Stephanie vs. Dixie Carter over the destruction of ECW, but the letter is invalidated due to grammatical errors. So they talk about the Hulkster in hospital. RD calls him Methuselah. Since this is actual TNA news John Kelly doesn't come until after, and then just for two minutes. (:56) He was probably watching the Vikings and Saints play each other and didn't want to stay any longer than absolutely necessary.

:58 TNA will be on Family Feud, many years after WWE did that same thing. Talk about being late to the party (assuming you were even invited to it in the first place). Jim Cornette wants to settle his differences with Vince Russo in a fight at a roast somewhere. 6'9 Amazonian 'Princess' Alouisa has been cut from NXT for some risque photos. Blade wonders how it would feel being sweat on sitting next to her at a baseball game. Height discrepancies in wrestling, particularly Wendi Richter vs Little Beaver.

Seventeen syllables for a woman who's 17 feet tall
Six Nine Amazon.
Wonder what sex with her's like:
Dry humping oak tree?

RD is speechless.

182 "Timeout real quick: who's Becky?": August 27, 2010

78 minutes

SPEAKING OF shows about nothing...

This week Blade is 'sober' and 'drinking coffee.' Unless he's drinking Irish coffee or 'coffee' is an euphemism for sex, don't believe him. He sure doesn't sound sober (un-drunk?) on air, which would be a change from the norm. Of course, he's far more entertaining when off the wagon.

A grasshopper named Michael appeared in the Roast instead of the crickets, so chalk up yet another mistake to RD. He tries to get around that by thinking Gene Shalit as the Penguin was on Entertainment Tonight for some reason instead of Lenoard Maltin. He also feels like this show could be the new Matlock and cater to an older demographic.

Sad News: Evil Knievel has been deceased for three years. Even more Sad News: RD's Wikipedia page is about to be deleted. Blade once had to use a cardboard box instead of a trashbag.

:18 Don liked to make dry ice bombs while working at the grocery. He also went down on a girl once without needing any whipped cream. RD plays Don's theme to shut Blade up. Meijer's now has Smoothie Bars and glass bottled (Mexican imported) Coke with real sugar that both he and I love.

:34 The Midnight Rose will be at a Nebraska indie show on Saturday. Scott Norton is now truly at the bottom of the barrel, now being a bodyguard for a Playboy Playmate with a reality show. Her husband isn't well liked in Indianapolis for his antics at the Superbowl. SPEAKING OF football Blade wants to bet money on the fantasy football league because he keeps losing due to dumb luck, but since he's ersatz-drunk he's bound to forget to put that into motion, Emperor willing. In the meantime he loves Kelly Brook from Piranha (3D). He also thought he saw J.T. Titty there (in 3D) but he was mistaken. She's actually in training for her first fitness competition. Best of luck to her.

:52 Shawn Michaels is running some family fun center now. You need to wear socks for entry though. Blade thinks you can wear socks on your penis which is great if you aren't a woman.

:56 Question: Bob Taco thinks Blade is a (trashbagging) scrapper.  Blade disses the guy for actually sitting down on a toilet to do it. "You gotta stand up." RD: "This is way more than I ever wanted to know."

:60 John Kelly knocks on the door. TNA is going to make an Italian guido-ess character named Cooki as portrayed by Becky Bayless. Blade is so 'drunk' he repeats how he got into an argument with his ex-girlfriend over the wrestler on Online World Of Wrestling. RD wonders what I'll title this week's episode. [At least with Blade bringing back the argument you didn't go with the cliche "Cookies. Cream. Trashbagging" - Clarence]

:69 Sad News: Tiffany has been suspended for shouting at her husband in a hotel. Who wants to pay her $25,000 bail? Serena Deeb has also been future endeavored for her drinking trouble. MVP wants to be a rapper. RD now likes Smackdown now because of Oberto/Alberto Del Rio, but Blade calls him Albert because he doesn't know any better. Though, he can call you Becky if you can call him Al.

Seventeen syllables of something to say:
Albert Del Rio.
Translated literally:
Albert of river.

RD: "Sometimes I question why this show has lasted six years, but with insight like that I think we're good for another six."

181 The WCR 5th Anniversary Telethon: August 13, 2010

182 minutes (!)

It's the 5th anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. No, I can't believe it either.

With bad MIDI music playing, Blade remembers his favorite moments of meeting Mike Reno and Hollywood. RD's were meeting Vince Russo and the numerous characters the two have voiced. "I would not like to remember any shows without Angry Jim Ross." says he. He also forgot to credit the Ratings Reaper on their disc. Perhaps I should inquire if next time I should do all the detail smoothing... Meanwhile Blade is stuck on feces and the fetish of Bette Midler farting. Lord Alfred shills, as he is always a master at doing.

For the rest of the show the Co-Fruitcakes call and then hang up on the 12(+) Listeners on Skype. Because, sure, why not? RD asks them for one (1) favorite moment of theirs on the show, then Blade asks them a random question on Don (Mason) before RD quickly hangs up on them. Of course, he can only talk to so many in thirty or so hours, and I know for certain that neither I or Kelly asked to be called either. Regardless though, let's see who we get on the air. [I didn't either. Sorry to break kayfabe folks but there was only room for one drunk guy on the show this anniversary and Blade filled the quota - Clarence]

:13 Austin Gilliam, the Gilman. He takes the call while security guarding in the rain. In a lovely Southern accent he likes Don Mason and his attempts to have sex with a midget. He easily gets his question right and is subsequently congratulated by Sir Alec's audience.

:19 Chainsaw Rich, Master Control Operator in NY. The Co-Fruitcakes worry that he won't be fired from his job while taking the call. He understood Mike Check, and certainly liked Blade losing his bet, and many years later RD losing his bet and having to sing. Alas, he fails the Co-Host trivia question so it is now 1/2.

:25 Amanda. She does the right thing and hangs up. Next then is The People's Regulator. He very much liked Sir Alec (Guiness)'s story about Frankie. He cannot answer the question so we're 1/3.

:32 Brandon, one of those who 'attended' the Roast. They have to call him through his girlfriend but before they cause further wacky hijinks they hit the voicemail. So they call David, Angry Jim's stunt double at that Roast with the same Vivaldi music as Alec. He makes a customary bad joke but makes up for it by getting the question. The tally is now 2/4.

:38 Mr. Snatch. He's incredulous of them calling while outside a bar. He's always liked Bedding Man. 2/5.

:43 T-Man from Blade's Myspace. They hit his voicemail too. Blade keeps wanting to call Amanda back for some reason, and this time he manages to get through. She also likes Bedding Man. 2/6.

:51 Frank In New York, the guy fired from Circuit City. He's still looking for a job. He listened to them talk about a Maxim list while on jury duty and couldn't stop laughing. 3/7

Blade has to take a leak and thus makes the show more bearable to listen to.

:59 Dominic "Mysterio". Like me he once listened to all the episodes in a week. He remember John Thomas calling and hitting on Blade for some reason. 4/8

:64 Bob Taco. He likes Jim drafted to Blade's Co-Fruitcake role during the last Draft and breaking down. 4/9

:69 Ed Salo can't be reached because he changed his number. They call Brian instead while RD looks for Ed's number. They hit Brian's voicemail too. They call another guy now, Byron. This time they get through. He remembers a (Horny) Jim Ross giving a replacement gift of Oklahoma Sooners boxers to the guy who won the auction for Katie Vick's outfit but refused to accept it. 4/10 Blade thinks everyone thinks Don is gay. (I just think he's bisexual.) RD finally reaches a very mellow Ed at :76. He's always liked the original (and classic!) tale of trashbagging. He's also enjoyed reading the Book of Lists. "It's a page turner," he says listlessly. 5/11

:82 Pete. He remembers the show falling apart when the two watch that Tarzan Boy music video. 5/12 Brian is called again and now they are successful. He had to put on his pants first. He remembers Nathaniel being replaced at his job. 5/13

:90 Robert Q, who's written for the site before. He also liked Blade's having something to say, especially when he had to denounce Demolition. 5/14

:96 Primetime. He liked Jim Ross losing his restaurant. But disturbingly, does his young nephew listen to the show??? 5/15

:102 Roid Raging Douche Chills. He remembers his question being read immediately after Blade revealed he had sex with the Katie Vick outfit. 5/16

:108 Will. They talk to his wife who's also a listener, and also has a thing for her husband's Mike Check impression. Of course - how do you think he managed to impregnate all those women? He is fond of listening to the show while deployed in Iraq, but fails at asking RD for a freebie for the two of them. It was worth a try, at any rate. He breaks the streak of losing at answering the Don question (this one about him and his grandfather finding a guy fucking a horse), as the score is now 6/17.

:119 Newt. He doesn't pick up the phone. Blade has to go to the bathroom again while RD calls another guy named Anthony. He had inadvertently led to the duo having their infamous discussion about banging your meat (preferably with a stick). He sings White Lion and likes Greg calling in angered at all the false rumors spread against him and his legitimate web-hosting company. 6/18

:127 Josh. He had once paid to be on the show before. 6/19 At least this time RD actually says his farewells to him before hanging up.

:133 Rob the Nerd. He also enjoyed hearing about how Blade had sex with a pair of clothes. Before he gets any further the loudness of the Don Mason musical sting drowns them both out. He does get to answer the question correctly however. 7/20

:138 Shawn "Michaels" Breeding. He also had to put on his pants before answering. He liked their last year Christmas-themed episode. 7/21

:143 Toom E. Guci, a highly valued moderator on the WC forum. Unfortunately his wearing Jimmy Wang Yang boots at a restaurant named Dick's Last Resort makes Popeye call in, once again without having to have the telephone ring. Mr. Guci gets through with good humor but sadly fails at the question too: 7/22.

[As a somewhat unnecessary but interesting to me only aside, I think these characters and impressions are how RD expresses himself sexually. Blade, the sexually frustrated bachelor who drinks a lot and is a general raconteur is always a rowdy man to be around. This shows in his (drunken) speech of course. but also shows in the majority of the characters he voices. RD on the other hand, the more stable based man with a happy family and an occupation which sends him to Disneyland a lot, is much more subtle and indirect in how he 'handles' the matter (nudge nudge wink wink). It's very much a meeting of opposites in that regard. (And no, I'm still not Clarence.)] [Interesting theory. I may have to steal it. I shall call it The "Blah" defence - Clarence]

:150 Stevie J. of Angry Marks. At this point everyone is tired, but Blade still (drunkenly) talks to Lady J. about something or other. I couldn't catch the skein of what he was trying to say. Mr. J also likes trashbagging, but isn't good at this Don Mason trivia sadly. 7/23.

:161 Taylor, the valedictorian Blade mentioned last year, gets applause from the (still awake) audience. He also wonders if Blade wants to have sex with his grandmother. He can still remember the first episode, RD wondering if Blade is "ready for this." The man's as witty as I, he'll go far in this company I think. Sadly, he cannot answer the question, leaving our final Don Mason tally at 7 out of 24.

Tsk tsk. If those people were frequent readers of this site that percentage would be much higher, let me tell you! [/shill]

Blade interrupts himself with Sir Alec reading a letter from another man named Tony Nagle (:170) and John Kelly being quieter than usual, but at least Blade gets himself to sing about the show.

RD (still wanting a tear in Robert Gibson's glass eye): "I know I don't like where this is going."

180 Drinking with the (Big Nippled) Stars: August 6, 2010

HBK Demonstrates New Hunting Technique

60 minutes

The "Celebrity" Roast has finally shipped to acclaim by many...but not the Midnight Rose, as RD forgot to credit his appearance. He fears for his life now. Next stop for WCR: TV! The two discuss numerous possibilities for spin-offs. Blade in particular is so drunk he's using the old headphones again.

:11 The worst match on TNA, Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell, is finally inducted. RD's attempts to go to Cincinnati for some root beer is once more interrupted by Blade's fucking random ramblings that make the show three hours long and which almost serve to enrage RD yet again. He somehow gets through with a straight face. (They have Barq's in the place where I live but I always stick with the original A&W.) Blade meanwhile went to a concert to try and have sex with half-naked 14 year olds.

:24 Molly Holly AKA Nora Greenwald is engaged to a former recovering drug addict whom she met while in her current job as a drug counselor. She wants to have sex as soon as possible. RD wonders if she will hate it since she's never done it before. Regardless, this is Very Happy News for all save Blade Brakestown and all his missed opportunities. I mean, really. All the women he's met and failed to further connect with, those Big Announcements that he's always failed to big announce, his singing 'career', his team (although it's not his fault I admit), his occupation calling for a certain use of trash bags...I'd call him a modern day Job in the Biblical sense, if Job was a drunkard hobo co-hosting a long running Internet progrem. I'd rather call him a Job in the wrestling sense instead. Jobbing Jobber Job, perhaps? Someone get Vince Russo to create him for TNA and have him shoot all the time as some sort of meta-referencing to the wrestling business.

:32 Our old friend Shelly "BNV" Martinez wants to get on Dancing With The Stars. As obscure as she may be outside the industry, she would at least be less obscure than half of any current seasonal roster, and would definitely be better on the feet too due to her background. Plus you could have Tom Bergeron co-host RAW and do a heel turn on his show, perhaps calling it some sort of weak imitation of his old Hollywood Squares. It's a win-win!

:36 Question: Batman Plus Robin Equals The Conway (2) asks a rather sexual question, but instead of Popeye calling in Mike Check does instead. He can apparently do those nowadays due to him being...fascinating with his fellow inmates. In the midst of his own jobbing he does remember his days in New Haven, Connecticut's WDOL "Dollar 99" co-hosting a business show with his then woman DJ called Bounce Check Money Matters. [I am SO writing a sitcom with that title. I can see it now....Bounce Check Money Matters: Starring Paul Heyman and Urkel: LICENCE....TO PRINT.....MONEY - Clarence] I bet you Jim Kramer was one of his disciples. 

:45 John Kelly's TNA 'reporting' is essentially repeating what the Co-Fruitcakes say. He doesn't even provide anything new! If you notice, RD says Hulk Hogan IS with us and Samoan Joe has been future endeavored and John just makes bad quips in response. That's not even news at all! He probably doesn't note down what he wants to mention on his trip between Florida and Kansas (his hands are full of holding his sunglasses), and thus the exhaustive journey between the two states makes him forget what he wants to say and just makes him subconsciously parrot the duo.

:49 In a further attempt to (fail at) salvage itself, TNA dedicated a full taping just to ECW. Sadly Francine was a no-show. RD would prefer watching Shawn Michaels and his wive on a hunting show. (:54)

Better lay 'em on us:
So Shawn went hunting.
He should have done that years ago.
Could have found his smile.

179 The Hands of Foot: July 16, 2010

61 minutes

The big news these days: Dixie Carter is pining for Paul Heyman to come visit and be yet another attempt to improve TNA. I shake my head in sad disbelief.

You know what's even worse though? RD is still working on the DVD. Remember when I said that it would be released in August? You know, that was meant to be a joke.

Also you know Blade is drunk when he constantly interrupts RD as he relates that he dreamed he was singing to the music of a defunct amusement park ride. Quote he: "I just don't think people are enjoying this as much as they used to." Angry Marks have sent new ad copy. (:14)

:17 Blade describes in detail his TRIP with a companion to see Cinderella in concert. Hilarity ensues.

:23 News. (That word sounds so funny by itself, doesn't it.) The Midnight Rose turned face at last week's wrestling appearance, dancing merrily at his side's victory. Blade shows him footage of this as RD tries to separate his alter-ego from his Co-Host. Sad News however: during all this reveling he split his pants, which for some reason made him unable to compete in the Battle Royale, or so he says. RD rightfully calls him a wuss.

:29 Gene "Boba Foot" Snitsky is said to be in the sequel of all things to the legendarily bad movie "Manos" The Hands Of Fate, called The Search For Valley Lodge. This thus makes Blade try to insert Star Wars into the discussion. Will Heidenreich also star? (My guess is he would be the Master, always sodomizing Torgo and his wrestling wives who stand around in his backyard.) [Then he could kill the babies as his wives got pregnant and spend the whole movie claiming it wasn't his fault. Why are we not writing the script for this? - "Showstealer"] The duo see both wrestlers in a promo to judge for themselves, which seems to have the two grunting heavily while reciting bad dialogue. Perhaps their 'idea' is one that Popeye would greatly approve of.

As for this Manos sequel, not to be obvious, but I don't really think it's a good idea. (And no, I'm not Clarence, so this isn't his Thoughts from the Office.) Sure, all these bad movies are often charming because of their badness, but trying to 'replicate' that in a 'sequel' seems inauthentic and a tacky way to keep the movie alive in public consciousness. If you really feel like watching it when/if it's actually made is the thing for you, I have three alternatives:

1. Watch the original movie, or at least the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode of it. Love it or hate it, it doesn't really hurt to. Well, the movie does hurt in how bad it is, but at least the short before it is a barrel of laughter. "We're going to have leadership the way my old man told me! You, put a handkerchief on your head! You, swat at imaginary elves! You, rock on the porch all night!" 
2. Watch the quite good documentary Hotel Torgo / Torpocalypse Now, which concerns the making of the movie in question, or:
3. Watch this looping clip of Torgo shuffling around for 90 minutes while playing his haunting Theme.

You're welcome.

Anyway, Scott Hall is 'very ill' with pneumonia. (:41) Let us hope it is just a minor thing and he gets well soon.

Fascinating.

RD is too lazy to answer any actual Questions this week (though I won't blame him, with his DVD editing and all), so he instead indirectly advertises his new item: Mike Check T-Shirts. Speaking for myself, that is BRILLIANT. I'm definitely going to buy one of those for myself. A warning though before you go ahead and buy one (and you really should); they're only available in XL or XXL. He also promises that he may return prizes for Questions through his authored books, which you may recall is something he originally did when he first started this progrem all those years ago.

Also, RD still hasn't given a name for the man's daughter. Speaking of people who don't have a name either...

:49 Blade gets a knock on his door as Sir Alec - I mean, Caruso, enters to do his part of TNA News man. But why does he have to physically come up to Kansas to do it? It's a long way from Florida. Also, if they really wanted to bring his 'personality' on the show, they should come up with a more original name. So of course I'll just give him one instead (like I did with his predecessor). From here on out I shall call him John Kelly, named after his character on NYPD Blue. (Also check out Kelly's Wikipedia 'page'. Apparently the only good picture they could find for it was one from CSI. Heh.)

So Caruso - I mean, John Kelly - is yet again on TNA's case. Wow, that thing is a serial killer! He calls RD 'Frank' (From LA?) It seems Victoria is returning to TNA after taking a hiatus sometime ago. That's all we get. Not even his quip is good enough, the slacker. Then he leaves Blade's house without even closing the door. Despite this, RD still thinks he's the best TNA guy they've had so far.

:53 News. (See? Funny.) RD is heartened by the fact that Triple H had surgery. "Hunter is getting older," he notes. In other news the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. That's all the News we get.

Dixie Carter. Paul Heyman. Seventeen syllables please.
TNA's new plan.
More shit we didn't need back:
ECW.

At the last minute Jim Ross calls in, angered at his voice being removed from the beginnings of RAW.
Jim: "Who in the hell wouldn't want to hear my voice every week?"
RD: "Ahhh, us."

178 Mike Check At Folsom Prison: June 25, 2010

80 minutes

Blade has found a new TNA guy, who seems to be some cop or other, in order to return a "respectable segment on the show...the spot to go to for TNA news". Thankfully before he can make more astounding predictions (Mrs. Deal! Get the Amazing Criswell on the Seance-Trolla!) the Sheriff calls. (:05) He says what everyone already knows; John Smith IS Mike Check. The Sheriff goes through his many aliases, as RD chuckles at all the fancy names he had given him over the past year. He was some sort of felon with over 30 illegitimate children (in each market?), and owned a million dollars in back payments to John Thomas and his DBR Dead Beat Recovery Program.

Blade: "Mike Check likes to fuck."

They discuss him.

RD: "What Mike Check segment lasted only fifteen minutes?"

As expected they ignore entirely the option of him using protection (unless the only protection he believes in is for his microphone). Still, he probably liked working on "The Whacker". (He would be the only one.)

RD still can't read the Angry Marks ad copy so Lord Alfred shills for Sugar Daddy instead. The Roast is 'expected' to arrive July 4. So wait for it to arrive in August.

OHHH GROBBLEY!

:26 Blade wants to dissuade RD forever from Kinder Surprises so he finds some 80's German commercial with Humpty Dumpty speaking in Jawaese. Comment reading follows.

:32 Lisa Marie Varron/Victoria calls everyone cute, much to Blade's chagrin. Even worse, she was robbed at ComicCon. RD thinks he could steal from her too, distracting her through some name spelling.

Lillian Garcia had a one hour meet and greet at her hotel...two weeks prior. Shouldn't this be in Current News where it belongs? There's confusion over whether she owns her Philadelphia hotel like a Monopoly property. She's also ripping off people by charging them to sign their extra stuff. RD wants her to sign his ass.

Sad News: Ivan Koloff is not Facebook friends with Blade anymore. Believe me, that place is a dump, I just add random people on there. Why Blade doesn't ask him why he did that is left unexplained. But he is cheered up by Mickie James randomly saying something to him and the Midnight Rose. She was also at a Celebrity Fishing Tournament with Roland Martin, who once had a lead in show to WCW. Blade thankfully does not take the obvious route and make fish correlations to vaginas.

:51 RD skips the Question to get to the new TNA guy - Blade Braxton as Damien Demento as Solid Snake Caruso Steven Irwin. AKA THIS guy:

(And no, he doesn't normally walk around in Imperium Power Armour. This was the only funny but not cliche looking image I could find on short notice.)

Blade, for his part, cements the role by breaking kayfabe by breaking into laughter just seconds in. Come now. How would Laurence Meatbourne and Gary Sinus and Mark Harmony and William Petergazer think of your professionalism? There's something about TNA Knockouts not being paid very well, so David here has to go investigate it. I guess the dead corpse in this episode/case/mystery/random combination of minutes of audio is the TNA company. RD is speechless the whole time. I guess he wanted to say something...



but he wasn't aloud.



YEEEEAAHHHHHH...



Ahem.

The phone rings (:57) for Mike Check's one phone call from Folsom State Prison. The last time he was there he was at their local market WFOL "The Fol" as Freddy Lamb Chop, and together with Mindy "Jelly" Roll hosted some show called Mint Jelly On The Lamb. It didn't last long. Blade calls him on his crimes, and his bumper stickers (that are still available!) Mike doesn't go the obvious route by playing Johnny Cash, but he does play a related Merle Haggard song. (Mama Tried)

:69  Chris Jericho is hosting a game show on ABC called Downfall that apparently involves dropping people off a very tall building. Unless Hulk Hogan also throws people off I don't see the show lasting a full season. [As someone who saw the show I'm shocked it lasted one episode. I see a Game Show Garbage induction in its future - "Showstealer"] Is Dave Batista going to MMA? (I hope his constant sexual antics in the business doesn't hamper his skills at the ripe old age of the mid 40's.) Blade finds Ken Patera's McDonald's.

Seventeen Syllables on Maryse's wardrobe malfunction:
Maryse malfunction.
I am certain that we all
saw her meat curtain.

RD: "That would be a curtain call you'd like to make."

Caruso Steven Irwin AKA John Kelly

The Lucky Thirteenth TNA Correspondent, Lieutenant C.S.I. was an Orlando based detective who Blade somehow knew. He first started 'reporting' on June 25, 2010.

Originally having served in the NYPD as Detective John Kelly, Caruso was forced to leave the service after getting involved with a fellow female cop. After a string of various jobs around the world he found himself back in the US in Orlando, where he could somehow afford a job and new identity where he could travel to Topeka on a daily basis to knock on Blade's door and 'deliver' the news. In true cliched fashion, this involved asking for the 'scoop' this week from the Hosts telling him what's going on (so he's not actually doing his job in reporting the news), making a bad pun to expectant Who music, putting on his sunglasses, and then leaving. (I hope he closes the door after him.)

After Blade could not get through his bad jokes anymore he was 'claimed' by the Ratings Reaper on January 14th to solve the progrem's problem of 'bad ratings' due to his segment.

• Worked with Sheriff Dickwell in finding Mike Check.
• Once randomly played a game of Family Feud in lieu of actual reporting.
• Calls RD "Frank" (not Andy?)
• Despite the long distance between them he always manages to arrive at Blade's house on time somehow.
• What's the scoop this week, guys?

Having successfully escaped the Reaper,
Irwin now works for the King of Stormwind.
"Looks like they really put the cart...
before the horse."