269 Extreme Exposé Football League: January 27, 2018

Have any info on the whereabouts of the Rosati

Sisters? Call Robert Sack on 1800 876 5353.

82 minutes

Blade: "Happy Show."

RD is happy Old Man Vince is (attempting to) bring back the XFL. Blade compares him to his ventriloquist dummy. Maybe next they'll think of him as a cigar store Indian.

The two are threatening to go monthly due to some promised Patreon milestone. They are now (as of recording) 62% on the way to do fortnightly progrems. Remember when they used to do weekly shows for free? Ahhh how times change. RD calls for any drug addict listeners to help out and aid in the support. Blade would be a (horrible) maid for more funding, or so he says.

RD thinks they should explain their shows to newer listeners. Perhaps use a glossary? (:07) "It's kind of a variety show. If you're clicking on this and you think you're going to get for the next hour and fifteen minutes, hour and a half, whatever we run; if you think it's going to be non stop wrestling news and I'm going to be talking about the women of SHIMMER or what happened at Wrestle Kingdom 12? SPOILER ALERT! You're going to be very disappointed."

Promotional Consideration is paid for by...Mike Check! (:09) Blade makes him explain his "gimmick Brad". He then reads my ad copy for a change. Excuse me. The ad copy of a "mysterious benefactor" named Premier Blake. (Funny thing is that Mike Check promoted us here at wrestlecrapradio.com but not his own show that we produced. A little show called "The Mike Check Show?" --Raging_Demons) He sounds like my mirror universe counterpart. Does he have a goatee? Mike then complains about his own royalty checks. He was once in Macon Georgia as Bobby Peach.  "If you shake my peaches you'll see my cream!" was his slogan there. He leaves with Mary McGregor. Blade breaks out laughing.

:15 Gayle's Root Beer has a Peeping Tom dog, "Oh rudie!" and tastes like awful cough syrup. Blade does his disgraced former comedic icon impression. RD remarks how far ahead they were with him. It is also really remarkable how much of a portent he was leading to a bigger revelation of sexual crimes and the fallout from all that.

The Faxtrolla signals "nothing but the most obscure wrestling news imaginable" according to Blade. (:21) Christy Hemme who RD considers wild has given birth. The BabyTrolla cuts off Blade's catchphrase. Christy Hemme who RD considers wild has given birth. The BabyTrolla cuts off Blade's catchphrase. Christy Hemme who RD considers wild has given birth. The BabyTrolla cuts off Blade's catchphrase. Christy Hemme who RD considers wild has given birth. Blade thinks her short but RD discovers she's taller than his Patty and equal to his Mickie. "HeightChecker34" disputes that. "Sam Rick" had a video game one time. Blade thinks people should discuss and debate their heights. Also one of the newborns seems to has a double name. Blade does an Alabamian David Bowie.

Tammy has been discussed a hell of a lot lately notes RD. She's now on OfferUp as Tamara. Now with 50% less chance of nudes stealing! (:37) The listings include some love furniture for sale. Sir Alec reads one of her Facebook posts extolling her love for her new boyfriend...and rather creeping asking for a marriage. Oh well. (:42) Speaking of love Alec's been happy with Ellie of late. RD is temporarily stopped by laughter.

Blade called up an "associate" voice of his to debut Unsolved WrestleCrap Mysteries with Robert Sack. (Any relationship with Robert Stack is highly coincidental.) (:48) This week: where are the Rosati sisters? Perhaps they're with Cheatum. This causes Blade to burst out laughing. (Called the phone number that Robert Sack mentioned, call was suspended and did not connect. Then the line sounded like Blade's stomach at Taco Tico, growling for some odd reason. --Raging_Demons)

Chris McGinnis thinks the Boogeyman should have been more stealthy. (:55) Like me RD is not a big fan of stealth games. Blade is too distracted by 15+ year old bad movies.

Colliseum Video may return to WWE Network at a later date. Good news: without RD ejaculating. Bad news: potentially without the famous theme music. (:58) Blade remembers CV's parent company also released some X rated stuff which sadly he did not own.

The first ever 30 Women Royal Rumble is just around the corner. RD reads some names, including Mickie James. "Good to know." One possible woman contestant premiered at the same show as the Midnight Rose.

:67 "Three Count with RD & Blade" has a bad bell sound. The two think on which remaining three women will complete the roster. RD thinks it would be the Deever, Anonymous Brooke and Kelly Kelly - AKA an Extreme Exposé run in. Blade has Kimberly Page (who's been MIA, speaking of mysteries) (No mystery at all. SOURCES HAVE TOLD THIS reporter that Kimberly Page took out those breasts implants of her and is currently in Park City, Utah working in marketing and does interior decorating. WAIT A MINUTE! That's close by to where I live, kinda. --Raging_Demons), Daisy of GLOW who threw around a dead blow up doll of an opponent one time, and two of Scott Steiner's ladies.

RD got his Draft Queen voice back to cover the XFL (assuming it'll actually return). (:78) She still thinks Tim Tebow will make a comeback to football there when he gets tired of the glory that is Minor League Baseball with the Mets.

A seventeen syllable sausage casing of wrestling news:
XFL is back.
Not a good decision Vince.
Backwards lateral.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, WrestleCrapRadio.com, Long John Silvers
• URLs not taken: 2. DustinHoffmanwithathong.com, Swingingfullnelson.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Jessica Biel’s backside

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Mike Check, Bill Cosby, Robert Sack, WrestleCrap Radio XFL Queen

• Mamas Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps: 2
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

  

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  N/A (Macon, Georgia)
• Radio Call Sign:  Bobby Peach
  
• Show:  N/A
• Sign Off: If you shake my peaches, you will see my cream!
• Song:  “Torn Between Two Lovers” by Mary MacGregor

• WrestleCrap Mysteries with Robert Sack: Rossetti Sisters

• Question of the Week from: Chris McGinnis
• Why did the Boogeyman always announce he was “comin’ to getcha!” Wouldn’t stealth be a better strategy to deploy?  Reminded one of Metal Gear (RD) and the other of Jessica Biel’s butt (Blade).

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count: 3 Women to round out the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble
• RD: Layla El, Anonymous Brooke, Kelly Kelly.
• Blade:  Kymberly Paige, Daisy, Big Poppa Pump’s Freaks.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade dishes on Vince reheating ideas:
  XFL is back.
  Not a good decision Vince.
  Backwards lateral.

 

257 The Star Wars Holiday Special: December 23, 2015

"Boring conversation anyway!"

80 minutes

RD warns they won't be talking much about wrestling, as is their usual.

"If you're coming here, if you're coming to our Christmas show, and you're expecting in-depth analysis of professional wrestling, I'm afraid my friends you may be disappointed."

That should be their beginning disclaimer on every show, not just this one.

Blade tells about the time he became drunk Darth Vader the one time he saw Twisted Sister. Though that was more about him having trouble breathing (while taking a Force piss) rather than killing some younglings through some bad acting.

RD plays a randomly found old recording of the time they and some of the submitting Listeners randomly sang Jingle Bells. (:05) "We used to be funny," he admits.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes are no longer in contention for the WCFFL (myself having defeated Blade to get into contending for the Fralic Trophy, a first for me! Wish me luck.) so their football expert calls to pout about his tactics. This makes RD laugh. (:08)

RD is nostalgic for the first time I confused him with my submitted ad copy. I admit I am too. Those sure were simpler times! Blade is confused by the multiple URLs that are in play. [Edit by R.V.M Kai: RD may have also given us our new tag-line: "Wrestlecrapradio.com: A fantastic website! It's almost as good as Wrestlecrap.com!"] (:12)

I also sent the Duo a present or so for the season...if you consider the timely ZZ Top's Eliminator a gift like I do. (:15) Blade promises to deliver on his Big Announcement that he first mentioned about in...2007.

The Duo also got a gift from "The Grocery". Not Ray Stevens? (:18) They are Little Debbie's North Pole Nutty Bars. They're smaller than regular Nutty Bars yet still taste the same. Sounds like a rip-off if you ask me.

RD remembers Stevie J's Horray For Khali Claus. (:23)

Fascinating Christmas
there, RJ & Brad.

Speaking of being as old as Khali/Santa Claus, Mike Check calls in. (:25) He actually had his own radio station once: NPOL North Pole 98. The N is for the Northern region you see. Basing things on a bad James Bond movie (Die Another Day, not Spectre) he became Frosty Largerod and lived in an igloo for three months. For a change he plays RD's other beloved Jillian Hall's "Freddy Krueger impression".

:33 The Midnight Rose was in some NES-based wrestling game competition. Blade mixes himself and the Rose up, as is his usual. He blames his controller for his bad performance.

RD was asked by Trash Losagain to manage him one last time in the ring. He remembers the last time he did so over 10 or so years ago, when the Big Show beat him up.

Carl Zayas (2) is concerned about their Star Wars debate from last time. They do however both agree that Episode VII: The Force Awakens was pretty good. RD enjoyed Han Solo redeeming himself from Return Of The Jedi. Blade thinks ROTJ Han was based on RD retroactively somehow.

This brings Sir Alec for some reason. Which makes Blade laugh for some reason. (:41) He has a Star Wars Christmas themed fanfiction piece which sadly does not include that other Sir Alec.

RD remembers Piper at Christmas. (:49)

Jim is down as usual (:51) partly due to him not getting into the ZZ Top action by getting their CD. He also wants to talk about Star Wars for some reason. His spoilers news sources are all wrong, especially about barbecuing, which makes him leave randomly, as is more and more his fashion (Confused Jim perhaps?). And without even verbally flipping them off too! "Go Force yourself!" RD fills in for him.

:57 The Duo get down to some more Star Wars discussion. Only right here *slam* on WrestleCrap Radio!

RD remembered how he was spoiled on The Empire Strikes Back and ROTJ so he tried and succeeded to avoid anything for TFA (a tactic that I also did with equal success). Knowing where things led anyway he was still reflectively sad on what transpired with (TFA) Han. "Not every story has a happy ending," he reminds Blade. Blade is in turn reminded of how RD would fit perfectly in the Star Wars universe with his travails and events and things.

Blade went as Bossk with RD's gift mask and got into conflict with the police there. Wow, who could see that coming? RD & son went with their outfits and had no trouble. Blade thinks he should have gone as dying Darth Vader in ROTJ. "Think of the children!" he says.

RD reminds people who thought TFA was too similar to A New Hope that just because they thought so doesn't mean others who are younger and may not have seen the films before would think the same or not like it, which is a valid point. "Or you might wind up having your favorite character be Jedi Han Solo, that would be a tragedy!" At least he fares better than Blade's Bossk, who just sat around while Luke & Leia broke out Jedi Han/RD from Jabba the Hutt.

Blade then mumbles randomly about how the Ewoks were hidden until release and were thus shown as 'ugly Star Trek style aliens' as black blobs with hair. Someone should follow up on this.

:72 Fellow colleague Jordan Mishkin sent RD a vintage wrestling shirt. Blade received a Pabst Blue Ribbon flask and a Carbonite Han Solo popcorn bucket with a hand puppet of that ESB asteroid monster (Space Slug) from RD. In turn he sent him an Attack Of The Clones shirt, hopefully without sand in it.

Here We Go:
Han Solo is dead.
What did this make me feel like?
Lumpy in my throat.




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Christmas
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. GlobalInternet.net, WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Long John Silvers
• URLs not taken: 2. DarthVaderTakingaLeak.com, LumpyinmyThroat.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Sponsors, sentient beings, getting back in the wrestling ring
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 5. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, The Great Khali, Mike Check, Sir Alec Heineken, Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 3 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  2

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  NPOL North Pole 98 FM (North Pole)
• Radio Call Sign:  Frosty Large Rod
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  Santa Baby by Jillian Hall
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Carl Zayas (2)
  
• After hearing the back and forth between you and Blade, I was wondering, are you both okay?  I got worried. I haven’t heard a heated exchange between two people since me and my buddy almost engaged in fisticuffs in an argument about Wookies versus Gungans. I guess my question, is this normal? Yes.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates the new Star Wars:
  
  Han Solo is dead.
  What did this make me feel like?
  Lumpy in my throat.
  

255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"

106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays instead but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants Europeans (non-Americans) to watch American (non-European) football. On an unrelated note, RD's Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???

For a change, Raging Demons does this week's shilling.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003. He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did some sort of part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the two didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton

Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"

"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull IPA, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candice Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from sunnyskype8@gmail.com. The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last time. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley (2) wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Co-Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 3. Evasavealot.com, PleaseandThankYa.com, hornyonquaaludes.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Holiday jokes and wisdom, perfect guests, shocking, shocker
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Ben Vereen, Eva Savealot

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 9. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, Raging_Demons, Eva Savealot, Don Mason, Danielle Harris, Traci Lords, BM Punk, Stan (formerly known as Satan). Mike Check

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 9
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Zane U Paisley (2)
• I’ve been summoned for Jury duty. What pro wrestling shirt should I wear to court?  Anxiously awaiting your response. Blade: Francine 4:69 t-shirt.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Vince isn't a fan of color. SummersEveSlam?
  Vince doesn't like blood.
  Will the next pay per view be
  sponsored by Tampax?

 

254 Derailed: October 10, 2015

All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya!

91 minutes

Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.

That's what she said.

This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot if there is one is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.

RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.

Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Co-Hosses seem to be suffering from at present.)

:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote Mrs. Deal doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.

Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)

RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."

Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.

Artist's representation
of a poison mushroom

Sad News: Blade's never been married even as he hits 40. Actual Sad News: The Rock's puppy, the one he saved from drowning, didn't cheat death a second time, succumbing to a poison mushroom. (:41)

Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)

Eve Torres had a child named Raeven, pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)

RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."

:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven? Pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She supposedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not explicit of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.

RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"

Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again.  (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (as King Arthur decapitates him, only for him to continue talking.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:

• "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter." 

• "The show was held from the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, North Carolina. The venue reported that only 280 people paid for tickets to the show. Tweets showed that TNA was distributing hundreds of vouchers in an attempt to have any sort of crowd."

• "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."

Also of rather important note:

• "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."

I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.

Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mailman to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.

:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!

Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.

:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.

Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."

Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)

:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.

James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Co-Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.

Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe
Hehehehehe.

The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.

RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, IntestinalFortitude.com
• URLs not taken: 1. MikeCheckinathimble.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Internal organs, dying
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Filton Whisk, Bill Cosby, Honky Tonk Mail Man, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen

 

• Krankor Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Allan in Milwaukee
• Who will win this years Warrior Award and why will it be Stephanie McMahon? Blade: Nope, Iron Duke.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: New Yawn or York?
  The MSG Show.
  Yawn. It was more like War to
  Not Settle the Bore. 
    
• Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: One last thing on RDs white:
  
  Hooker solicits RD.
  What do call such a thing?
  Terrifying Whore-Deal!
  

253 The O Show: September 20, 2015

Ooooooooohhhhhhh!

60 minutes

RD enjoys watching a lot of Prime Time Wrestling, the only place where Mr. X could win a match and be taken seriously, according to Blade. As expected WWE is doing a terrible job of showing episodes so RD has to watch them himself.

Blade wanted Heenan to cross dress like Ms. Elizabeth. Does that make Monsoon Savage (the Monsoon Man) and try to keep Heenan locked away in their never ending feud?

Unlike Blade, RD is "not familiar with Mean Gene Okerlund's O Face" (his climax sound to be sure) so Blade has to (repeatedly) audibly demonstrate for him. (:07) Save that for the Coliseum Video theme before you prematurely ejaculate, pal. (...Which they do, actually.)

For a change my shilling this time is shorter, but alas I realize too late I forgot the URL. Not that it's important for a website or anything like that. Then again, if you didn't know it dear reader (all one of you) you wouldn't be here reading this either. To his credit RD repeats it a few times to make it hit the magic 30 second mark, which makes it sound like I've climaxed multiple times like Mean Gene earlier. (:12) In response The Intestinal Fortitude has its own new ad copy. Sadly RD does not do his Jeff Foxworthy...this time.

Blade remembers the first time RD went on a TRIP...to the Library all those summers ago. (:17) Reminder: Blade also went to the Library too (where he met a candy wielding child molester).

RD forgot a third snack from the Netherlands: Tijgernootjes. They look like bacon cheese infused corn covered peanuts (to him; to me they look like rather small scrotum - they really need better packaging over there) and taste rather good, although he can't put down why exactly the taste is so familiar. Thankfully he does not make an O Face while savoring them.

:24 SPEAKING OF corn Blade remembers when Paul Ellering almost lost an eye. Ah, those were happier and simpler times indeed, no? His daughter Rachel is training in WWCR friend and fine young egg Lance Storm's wrestling school in Calgary...







...Alberta, Canada. (Sorry, it was just my turn to make that joke and I couldn't just pass it up.) RD has been trying to get him on their show again in the past year and a half.

Savio Vega is finally getting his due and appearing in WWE 2K16. (:26) Sad News brought to you by Nintendo John (on the Nintendo): the game is not being ported to the (Nintendo) Wii U or the (Nintendo) 3DS (both old (Nintendo) 3DS and new New (Nintendo) 3DS - or was that new (Nintendo) New 3DS? I always get that mixed up). Anyway Nintendo John confuses RD more than Nintendo's current corporate strategy...on the Nintendo. (Insert Nintendo John's audience cheering here.)

The Rock is pregnant. Well, his lady is. Thankfully the Duo get through without talking about any prospective Junior remake (to be made by WWE Films as a favor to a Hall Of Famer no doubt). (:37) RD and I remember Johnson was married before, and I believe that (thankfully) they still seem to be on good terms as they co-own his production company. Sad News: I don't believe her married family name was Rock like Blade thinks it was.

Much like how Blade's random Iron Mark Tyson impersonation gave life to his later character, RD uses his high pitched Football Fan voice from last episode (The WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen as he terms her) to 'advise' fantasy football players to use Packers WR Jordy Nelson. (:40) Blade is reduced to speechless laughter. I'm speechless too - Jordy Nelson has been on Injured Reserve since the start of the season and would be as effective in your team as I would be if I suddenly became QB. To be fair I would probably do better than whoever is currently doing that in Jacksonville.

(I am also left wondering if she and Popeye will start double calling into the show from now on. *Shudder*)

RD is in turn rendered speechless by the courts issuing Tammy a warrant for her arrest for failing to attend a court hearing for her (most recent?) DUI. (:43)

Mike Cantalano thinks WWCR is Facebook Support for some reason. (:47) RD begs for better Questions like he's on a charity fundraise drive. Didn't they raise the idea of doing that one time? (Of which we have all completely forgotten about?)

:50 TNA might be dead. For real this time. No mostly dead or half dead or being stone dead in a minute. Also, you know a promotion is bad when an average house show is more surreal than a Monty Python sketch. I'm shocked we haven't got a gimmick of someone Silly Walking in the ring yet. They still have time until the end of the year though, so it's not too late!

Sting is still wrestling at 56 years old. (:56) As much as I respect them both greatly as true wrestling legends...I don't want Sting to become another Ric Flair. We don't need ANOTHER wrestler who walks around losing his pants faster than Walter White. Although now I want to see Bryan Cranston guest host RAW (sponsored by the fine folks at Los Pollos Hermanos) in one of his contamination suits, clothesline Vince, then take off the head piece to show he's been wearing his Heisenberg Hat all this time. License to print money...which he will then store in a barrel that he buries in the New Mexico desert.

RD: "This is his chance to win the WWE title along with all those WCW titles. In other words, it's his chance to butter his bread at both tables."
Blade: "Oh, you're right Jim."

Then they laugh out loud.

Seventeen Syllables Easily Digestible:
Sting and John Cena.
Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
-itude Adjustments.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap.com, WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 1. TigerNutty.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Euros, Europe, corn, corn (2)
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, “Nintendo” John, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen

 

• Krankor Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 3
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  12

 

• Question of the Week from: Mike Cantalano
• When you die, what happens to Facebook?  Just wondering.  Khan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blade: Mark Zuckerberg lights a candle in your honor.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Fusion of the old with the new babyface:
  Sting and John Cena.
  Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
  -itude Adjustments.

 

252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015

#252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats"

78 minutes

Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.

As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)

RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.

RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.

WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.

While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. (To be fair, when has he not been confused?) RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid through Global Internet for it!

That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.

:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.

RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).

Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants? 

Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.

:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.

Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?

Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.

Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.

John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.

Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)

Hillbilly Jim last main-evented a PPV 27 years ago.

Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.

A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, InnerRickRude.com
• URLs not taken: 6. WhatshappeningtoGreg.com, FumigatingBladeBraxton.com, NudistColonyWithDanSpivey.com, fullyclothedpodcast.com, PoorMatilda.com, smashittogetherintoverysmallamountofdigestablesyllablare.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Ways to clean yourself, couple things we will neglect, Sting
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Stewart Patrick, “Iron” Mark Tyson
  

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (2 Wait a Minute)
• Blade Time Outs:  7 (2 Real Quick)
• Blade Burps:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
   

 

• Question of the Week from: Ed "Han" Salo (5)
  
• Since the WWE is removing all references to Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka from the network, I wonder if Young MC will have to change the lyrics of his 1990 hit song “I Come Off”?  The lyrics are I’m coming off just like the clothes on a hooker and I can fly like Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka.  Certainly the WWE would ask this legend of rap to remove that lyric, but who would replace him in that line? RD: Booker T. Blade: Uhhh.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Sting the lovable loser jobber?
  Sting vs. Rollins.
  Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
  teen Lions' record?
  

Wrestlecrap Radio XFL Queen

Photo by Randy Baer.
Apparently she plays for the Bengals.

Formerly known as "The Wrestlecrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen"

RD does an impression of a bad falsetto to imitate a lady singing about football, so on the next episode (#253) she called in to sing some fantasy football league advice to the tune of  "I Hate Myself For Loving You" by Joan Jett and The Blackhearts. Predictably said advice is terrible.

She seemed to be a cross-dressing character. Nothing wrong with that, especially when around 150% of the league is concussed, committed any sort of criminal activity, or worse of all plays for the Washington football team.

She returned a couple of years later as "The Wrestlecrap Radio XFL Queen" due to the then upcoming rebirth of Vince McMahon's XFL.


Fantasy Football League "Advice"

2015 - 2016

• Week 2: Jordy Nelson, WR, Green Bay Packers: Currently on Injured Reserve 
• Week 5: Tony Romo, QB, Dallas Cowboys: Currently on Injured Reserve
• Week 8: Arian Foster, RB, Houston Texans: Currently on Injured Reserve