WrestleCrap Radio.com: Ex marks the spot

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297 Mad Ex: FuRD Road: August 30, 2020

15 Years of WCR: 12 Listeners Enter, 12 Listeners Leave

Blade feels old. RD: "You're telling me." SPEAKING OF Verne Gagne masturbating before killing somebody...

This radio progrem was so big it was delayed due to technical difficulties and made Blade tired, then hungover, then drunk.

RD shills his WCW Halloween Havoc coasters. (:11).

RD is not sure if it requires less energy to listen to the progrem, or to read its summary here. "They're very tortured, I can give you that." He vows to have Co-Librarians on the show...somehow.

RD: "Everyone's more talented than I am."
Blade: "You have no idea how talented we are."
RD: "I didn't say 'we', I said 'me'. That's the difference." (:16)

RD has Kroger's Private Selection General Tso's Chicken in chip form. Unsurprisingly, they taste awful. Blade wants to target the food product market demographic.

Blade had tried enticing people on Facebook with random sexual innuendo to (have RD) call one chosen out of a hat. RD mocks him correctly on his not getting a single response, causing Blade to laugh uncontrollably. (:23) As you might expect, RD's attempt...disconnects Blade. How is this a bad thing? Blade filibusters by reading something by "Rose" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't know who was Becky. (:27) This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

Ricky Morton pleads with people on Twitter not to send him pizzas. (:30) Blade wouldn't mind paying for unexpected pizzas, expectantly missing the whole point. This prompts RD to give Jim a call. Sadly he doesn't order a pizza for him. (:35) RD insults Blade through Jim for misremembering things (but remembering he drove a braking down turkey van among his many business ventures).

Mickie James is on Raw again. (:40) RD still remembers her feud with Trish Stratus. Blade filibusters by reading something by "Christensen" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't like Trish. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

Tammy Sytch is in jail again. (:44) RD does his Nathaniel impression. He hopes that this is the last that will be heard of her for a good long while. For now.

RD: "We don't do scripts...obviously." (:51)

He is shocked that for today's Question, "Blade has this". Dan on Twitter remembers RD's shaved back. RD corrects that it wasn't during his bachelor party. Blade does his Stubby impression to repeat one of his lines from their Roast of many moons ago. (:56)

Sad News: Blade will be moving out of Don's basement. Bitey has no comment. (:61)

RD disregards Blade's Question for another. (:64) Steve Mcclernon in Glasgow also listened to the whole canon, poor man. He remembers Marcho Madness, old RD&BS tapings, Mike Check still not properly doing the TNA market, Unsolved Mysteries remaining unsolved, Blade hearing actual TNA news from Corey Udler's impressions while visiting him at Chicago, Fun with Tammy, Paige replacing jailbird Tammy, and being baffled by their references and sports.

RD also checked the F4W Board, where someone noted that sped up Blade laughing sounds like Jim Neidhart. (:70) Blade remembers wearing shoe polish to look like Darryl Hall in third grade. If RD had his hair back he would leave it wet ala Bret Hart. Blade may not look like Brian Pillman in his youth or his AEW son, but he shares his madness. RD continues to make baffling references.

As for their favorite guests, (:75) Blade has Rebel eating cereal, 2011 Halloween Piper, the Zombie, and Kari Wuhrer. RD has run-in Piper, John Tenta, and his mother. Blade filibusters by remembering his ex-girlfriend who was tired of hearing about Eric Bischoff. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

RD fails to find Ken Patera on Cameo. (:91) The Co-Fruitcakes are still unimpressed by WWE. Someone asked Blade why he hasn't done his Ratings Reaper impression in a while. He's too distracted by whoever is left in the company throwing all their shit at the wall to impress Vince, like Shane McMahon's Fight Club rip-off. RD compares them both to the Apter Mag's complaining Old Man. He then repeats his Nathaniel impression. "We're like every other podcast now."

Blade sings about not wanting to go beyond Thunderdome.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

15th Anniversary
WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, coastymarshmellow.com (new), wrestlecrapradio.com
URLs not taken: 0.
SPEAKING OFs: 6. Wrong turns, prank phone calls, special, Stratus vs James Wrestlemania match, Rebel and Dynamite, getting people on the show.
Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Blade's Ex Girlfriend, Jim, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (2), Stubby, Bitey, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (3)

F-Bombs: 3. Jim, Jim (2), Blade's Ex Girlfriend

Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes: 2
Blade Time Outs: 10
Cricket Chirps: 1
Krankor Laughs: 1
RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
Weird Al Laughs: 1
WrestleCrap Gongs: 2

Question of the Week from: Dan

Just had a flashback WrestleCrap Radio flashback while on vacation. There’s some dudes with hairy backs on the beach and it reminded me of RD’s bachelor party where the DJ said "somebody shave that guy's back". Thanks for the laughs. That was not my bachelor party.

Question of the Week from: Unknown

Hey RD and Blade, in Scotland we went into lockdown in March and I’ve been working from home ever since. To pass the time, I made the decision to go back and listen to every WrestleCrap Radio from the beginning, which I finished this morning. Should I be worried about my decision making skills? Yes.

Favorite Memories: Marcho Madness, RD and Blade hybrid shows, TNA News 14 years in took five people, Fun with Tammy Episode, Turn the Page.

WrestleCrap 3 Count: All-Time WrestleCrap Radio Guests

RD: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, John Tenta, Momma Deal (non sequentially)
Blade: Kari Wuhrer, ECW Zombie, Rebel

Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, but a song instead.

(to the tune of “We Don't Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner)

Outside of the ring
Digital wreckage
Vince made a mistake this time

We were once mark fans
The New Generation (The New Generation)
The ones that watched in ‘95

And I wonder if Raw is ever gonna change
Boring year after year
Wrestling’s not the same

We don’t need to see Benoit
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

All the mark fans say
We don’t need to see Benoit (We don’t need to see Benoit)
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes (We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes)
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

285 By The Numbers: September 1, 2019

No comment.

70 minutes

The Anniversary is observed two weeks late because the two wanted to "discuss" AEW All Out. RD teases things. Speaking of teasers, Mickie James turned 40. (:04) The two use the opportunity to ramble in reminiscence.

RD claims they had the proto-podcast, ideally run by wrestling ring veterans repeating the same jokes over and over. (:12) Once they can get the "hilarity" out of the way, he tries some Southern Recipe Cheesy Halapeno Flavored Curls (not to be confused with Herr's own) which taste similar to Cheetos. Blade is recording in his truck with the window down parked by a Target. Let's hope he doesn't fall out of it if he has to pee.

The Co-Fruitcakes were unable to attend Starrcast III due to their conflicting schedules. (:24) Blade was one of the background staff in an upcoming Netflix revival of Unsolved Mysteries. RD is a Ninja Mime. C.M. Punk who did attend did neither, but he wishes to be in a Spider-Man movie instead. B.M. Punk disagrees naturally. He doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to poop, he'll have you know! (:29)

Today's Apter Mag Delight (:32) is Pro Wrestling Illustrated Weekly from exactly May 6, 1991 and has Ric Flair "concerned" with El Gigante without any sense of irony. Blade wanted to go to Washington D.C. to see Baby Doll in person.

RD again went to Facebook for his Question. (:39) Mike Still asks who's Becky. Or, as he wrote it: "WHOSE BECKY?!?!?" Blade and his ex have made amends and can now laugh over such things which he feels obligated to explain in case there are new listeners or something equally uncommon.

Blade reminds RD that he used to work shows with Ken Patera's daughter. RD initially wants her and her old man booked to do swinging full nelsons at their Carnival before learning that he's 76 years young (and still hungry). (:42) Cracker Barrel's All Out with its VG Young Bucks was alright. Jim calls to congratulate himself for appearing on so many radio progrems and ask for his cut and a hot tag from Robert Gibson for some reason. (:50) He also gets his numbers wrong while preparing his Halloween turkeys. And I'll bet he doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to do so either! He also randomly got arrested while trying to buy fireworks and had to get Bob Caudle to bail him out since Hollywood John Tatum went to the circus or something. "Go fluff yourself!" he mumbles.

What are the two's favorite Mickie James moments? (:58) RD remembered her acting with Jennie Jones, her Christmas ornament, and her censored WM feud with Trish Stratus. Blade remembered her first appearance, attending a team battle in 2007 where she noticed his shirt, as well as that same Trish feud.

Seventeen Syllables:
We're fourteen years old.
Almost driver's license time.
Driving off the cliff.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

14th Anniversary
WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
URLs not taken: 0
SPEAKING OFs: 1. Things you want to check out and that have had a streak as well
Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. B.M. Punk, Bill Apter, Jim

Blade Time Outs: 9 (1 Wait a Second, 2 Real Quick)
RD Time Outs: 4 (3 Real Quick)
Krankor Laughs: 1
Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes: 2
Cricket Chirps: 6
RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
Weird Al Laughs: 1
Blade Burps: 1 (RD totally no sold it, but that one WCR listener...)

Question of the Week from: Mike Still

WHOSE BECKY?!?!? Blade: Timeless.

WrestleCrap 3 Count: 3 favorite Mickie James memories.
- RD: Her match vs Trish at Wrestlemania, selling unique items, on the Jenny Jones show.
- Blade: Trish feud, Mickie and Blade’s fleeting moment, her WWE debut appearance.

Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: We can’t drive...55!!!
We're fourteen years old.
Almost driver's license time.
Driving off the cliff.

202 It's not easy being Mean: November 11, 2011

71 minutes

Wow, they're even lifelike!

A rather animated RD reads through his latest copy of Fighting Spirit Magazine (which he gets Lord Alfred to shill for). It's not just because he once again has his regular column for it, but rather due to a cover story involving Blade's dear lady centaur. It includes a bad pun that even the crickets would ignore for being too terrible, photographs with Raven and Ricky Steamboat of all people, and subtle goading from the editor to talk about her...rather 'risque' past. Blade has her fun with her as usual, though Mike Check randomly calls in to try and mess around. (:09) RD Strongbows him, and without even waiting for a song first! That's just not right.

Is that split served with banana topping?

:14 Blade is an obscure motherfucker as ever. RD uses Old Spice body wash that has the "power of a mountain". This makes me wonder why on earth WWE has not got the new Old Spice guy to be a Raw guest host. He'd be more charismatic than half the current roster.

:21 Sad News: Beavis and Butthead are using their music. Even more Sad News: the originally thought deceased-sick Haiti Kid has reanimated himself and come back to life, according to ever accurate sources. Who to believe? How about neither, so let's just see this random video of him sitting on Gorilla Monsoon's lap. On the subject of characters, RD feels he has to 'explain' Chief Jay Strongbow to newer listeners, (And if any are reading this (and if so, why?) have you tried our glossary yet? It's really shiny.) so he uses a video to aid him. Sure enough, he calls in too. (:28) [R.V.M Kai also made a commentary video of this interactive segment.]

SPEAKING OF strange interviews, Joanie Laurer's 'tickled' to win an award. RD wants to keep moving. Blade invents a new character on the spot to read a 'letter' of hers to Vince. She also has a new YouShoot video featuring questions from Trash Losagain and Mr. Fitness (2).

More Sad News: (:34) Tammy Sytch had a bad fall from an escalator. Even worse, her auctioned gown from the week before may be up for auction again. Even more Sad News: Blade can't find her Facebook page. Seriously though, I can empathize with her since escalators are not fun. They always scare the hell out of me whenever I use them.

Former ECW announcer Courtney Taylor is a new mother. (:38) Blade addresses the anti-feminists in the audience.

The Honky Tonk Mailman also likes to fuck. This explains why he's not here this week. (:47)

SPEAKING OF people Blade used to fuck, his ex-girlfriend didn't like Gail Kim for some reason. (:47)

Even in a minority the Listeners are a minority.

James Braxton (no relation) thinks his professor is one of the Listeners. (:50) Blade thinks all Listeners are some sort of albinos. That makes some sort of sense; there are so few of both albino and Listener in the wild after all.

:54 Mrs. Deal is no fan of mustaches. Poor woman. The Muppets on Raw made Blade vomit with rage. Blade does his Kermit impression which RD feels is better than the one done on that show. He then does an Irish Iron Mark.

Back in Maxim again (was Playboy out of room or something?), Kelly Kelly explains what a 'stinkface' is, taught to her by the wrestler 'Rafiki'. (:61) Blade has to apologize for giving joke names to people. Allegedly. It's probably just the drink again.

RD can take no more.

Blade sings for a third straight week. I think he's making up for his 'lost' singing career from three years back. I'm still waiting for my order of his Hobo Six album.

$2.00 ($39.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

199 One-Off: August 4, 2011

73 minutes

Emperor, are they REALLY going to harp on this episode milestone constantly over and over to replace the fact that they always have fuck all to actually discuss on the radio progrem? Apparently the answer is yes. "That's what this show's become," RD admits.

Sad News: both men are hurting bad, although it's more from day to day life rather than injuries from equally angered Listeners. Blade tries to get through the pain by more random singing. RD wants an anniversary re-release of Blade's Revenge of the Black Scorpion . They are still accepting submissions for people dressing up as characters at "Nitro parties". Hell, just cut the middleman and send them to me. I could use a good laugh.

NITRO SAUSAGE PARTY

And no, don't look at ME to send in anything. I only wear one thing most of the time, and unless Oklahoma University's hockey team is any good, I don't think what I wear counts. In fact, you could say that the only character I dress up as is...well, myself. So leave ME out of this thank you very much.

:15 RD's back hurts from a bump he took while driving on the wrong side of the road in a bumper car. Those things are deadly, let me tell you. Blade makes some meaningless arguments which RD mercilessly tears down.

:25 The BNV finally has her site up, so RD pays a visit. Unfortunately it's not as concise as bignippledvampire.com. The two get it in their heads somehow that paying for her to appear on the show every month to answer the Question of the Week would be a license to print money. Or you could just donate the money to me and I can pretend to be her for your enjoyment. The Midnight Rose is appearing on another shoot DVD, this one with Danny Doring. (:34) Poor Maryse has a stalker. Sir Alec is summoned to read some of his strange messages to her. (:39) In actual news, did you know she did an interview for the hometown Habitant?

:50 Blade wants to make a "NWO B-SquadThunder" spin-off of the "Nitro" Fantasy Football League. Did you know someone made a custom Ted DiBiase and Gary Coleman figure?

:53 Ultimate Kennedy (12) has a question.

:55 The HTMM is preoccupied, so RD preoccupies us with Sting's bird. Blade in turn preoccupies us with how his ex-girlfriend un-friended him on Facebook because she didn't like one Troma movie.

:65 Zack Ryder, geek jobber.

Triple H is on two shows for double the pain.

Seventeen Syllables about this:
There's one champion,
two champions, three times
Triple H bullshit.

$4.00 ($32.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right thing for PC.) Can he break the $50 mark by the end of the year? One can wonder...

187 The Final Frontier...Of Crap!: November 24, 2010

80 minutes

RD gives a disclaimer: This was recorded on Monday night, around the same time that the Miz defeated CM Punk to become WWE Champion. Obviously BM is not happy.

Sad News: Jillian Hall has been released. Blade wants to ring a bell for her. Luke Gallows was also released, but since he was basically Blade's clone he doesn't really care. Also, Blade looked Husky Harris on the days that he didn't look like Brian Pillman.

With the previous episode being really good (in their opinion anyway), they thus have the fearful thought that today's would not be terrible in response...like Star Trek III. I don't know, it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, have they seen the recent J.J. Abrams movie?

Or the Voyager episode "Threshold" for that matter.

Old School RAW somehow brought back Lord Alfred through a terrible impersonation, so Blade counters with HIS terrible Lord Alfred impersonation. Needless to say it sounds too Oriental, like Christopher Lee when he played Fu Manchu. (Assuming anyone could see him anyway.) They thus wonder how Global Internet's Greg's voice impersonations would go. (Probably surprisingly well, in my opinion.) Blade gets strange dreams dozing off while listening to them discuss Craig DeGeorge on earlier episodes. Also for Thanksgiving, a special treat: All 6 WC DVDs can be yours for just $21! (Too bad I already have them all.) Be warned, their books now look different somehow.

:24 RD took another trip to Disneyland in the last few days. While waiting in line to Captain EO he saw someone shill for the TNA taping taking place nearby. Needless to say, few came. (Now why do I feel Clarence will write something about this this week?) Also for some reason some promotional advertising Shrek 4D seemed to involve SoCal Val. The two wonder on the mystery of her vanishing nose.

:39 A George Foreman biopic may have Ernest "The Kat" Miller in the title role. [No doubt this will have George calling someone's momma after he gets "Rope-a-Doped" - Clarence] On the other end of the movie making business Joanie Laurer attempts to squash rumors she is making another porn movie. SPEAKING OF the strange things people do, Blade's ex-girlfriend got angry over yet another picture of a wrestling diva.

:51 The Devil makes another call in. He reveals his plan of taking over the world through social networking sites. This time Tammy Sytch is angry at WWE yet again for passing her by on their Legends show. Then Satan wishes the two a Happy Thanksgiving. He's nothing if not considerate, I'll give him that.

:56 Jim Ross calls in, angry as ever, especially considering he was recently at the Legends show. He's making his time losing money by selling turkeys from ice cream vans. Needless to say it did not go well. Now, if he had turkey flavored ice cream...

Meanwhile Mickey James is going to have Meet & Greet in Virginia. Of course Blade would probably miss his chance to go see her.

:66 John Kelly calls. There are rumors that Hogan's gotten married to someone who is looks like Brooke. His puns are all over the place in response, causing RD to finally admit he doesn't think of him as a good TNA correspondent any more. This means only one thing - he's going to have a 'tragic' death soon. I fully expect Jimmy Smits to replace him for the role.

:71 The latest DVD release of the Top 50 Superstars in WWE History did not go well with many people, due to the fact that Hogan is #23, ahead of Bruno Sammartino.

Seventeen (plus Five) Syllables of exception to it:
Top 50 Wrestlers.
What a total load of shit.
Where are Ax and Smash?/Where is Adonis?

RD "I don't think a lot of people will be thankful for this show."

186 Show me...Hulk's penis!: November 5, 2010

82 minutes

[X][X][X]

"Old School RAW" is upcoming, but it does not seem to involve Rob Bartlett or the Rizzotti sisters, according to pwinsider.com. Lord Alfred shills while Blade interrupts promotional consideration. Yes he's drunk. How ever did you guess?

:16 RD talking about Slim Jims is interrupted by Blade being interrupted by crickets, 'senate news', eating Slim Jims with Don (which is not even a Don story) and an ACTUAL Don story, where he molested a girl at seven with a stick. His music plays throughout.

:24 Hillbilly Jim has made some kind of jerk beef turkey. Jealous of this, a very angered Jim Ross calls. RD gets rid of him by asking about his wife.

:29 Some things are going on at NXT, most notably a 'fake wedding' between Oksana Baiul and Goldust with reference to Johnny Ace, Ted DiBiase Sr presiding, Border Patrol Officer Dick Apopolos in attendance, Michael Cole's gong, and Caitlyn. Meanwhile Jeff Hardy is now a father. (:39) Also, Blade & Midnight Rose seem to be tag teaming at various places.

:45 Sir Alec and his audience entourage are currently visiting Philadelphia at Ultimate Kennedy's story request, or so he says. The real reason however, is that he wants to help thrash the old Spectrum. He reads something about Kane and the Undertaker's brotherly love, in the literal sense.

:53 Blade tells a story about his strange ex-girlfriend that he promised he would tell from last week, for some reason using some music from Psycho. Was her last name Bates or something? One time she was sick of Eric Bischoff on her TV screen.

:56 Question. Sergei on Facebook wonders how come when one wrestler enters, often the other wrestler vacates the ring for him. Blade thinks of it as a matter of pride.

:62 SPEAKING of wonderings, John Kelly reminds us of TNA being on Family Feud. This for some reason warrants RD and Blade going at each other at the Face Off. RD gets the number one answer when he wants a GLOW run in at the game show. Then John leaves.

:67 Linda loses her election, Vince loses his erection, and they both lose $50 million. Lita returns to RAW, to Blade's delight. What he is NOT delighted about is Pee Wee Herman guest hosting, as he reflects on the strange man. RD apologizes for him. Also Hogan flashed his penis while playing some game or other while Brooke was watching. There's probably an incest joke to be made here (but not by me).

Seventeen Syllables about Hulk Hogan's penis:
Hulk's exposed penis.
He got 'Juicy' with Brooke and Hart.
Limp five inch python.

182 "Timeout real quick: who's Becky?": August 27, 2010

78 minutes

SPEAKING OF shows about nothing...

This week Blade is 'sober' and 'drinking coffee.' Unless he's drinking Irish coffee or 'coffee' is an euphemism for sex, don't believe him. He sure doesn't sound sober (un-drunk?) on air, which would be a change from the norm. Of course, he's far more entertaining when off the wagon.

A grasshopper named Michael appeared in the Roast instead of the crickets, so chalk up yet another mistake to RD. He tries to get around that by thinking Gene Shalit as the Penguin was on Entertainment Tonight for some reason instead of Lenoard Maltin. He also feels like this show could be the new Matlock and cater to an older demographic.

Sad News: Evil Knievel has been deceased for three years. Even more Sad News: RD's Wikipedia page is about to be deleted. Blade once had to use a cardboard box instead of a trashbag.

:18 Don liked to make dry ice bombs while working at the grocery. He also went down on a girl once without needing any whipped cream. RD plays Don's theme to shut Blade up. Meijer's now has Smoothie Bars and glass bottled (Mexican imported) Coke with real sugar that both he and I love.

:34 The Midnight Rose will be at a Nebraska indie show on Saturday. Scott Norton is now truly at the bottom of the barrel, now being a bodyguard for a Playboy Playmate with a reality show. Her husband isn't well liked in Indianapolis for his antics at the Superbowl. SPEAKING OF football Blade wants to bet money on the fantasy football league because he keeps losing due to dumb luck, but since he's ersatz-drunk he's bound to forget to put that into motion, Emperor willing. In the meantime he loves Kelly Brook from Piranha (3D). He also thought he saw J.T. Titty there (in 3D) but he was mistaken. She's actually in training for her first fitness competition. Best of luck to her.

:52 Shawn Michaels is running some family fun center now. You need to wear socks for entry though. Blade thinks you can wear socks on your penis which is great if you aren't a woman.

:56 Question: Bob Taco thinks Blade is a (trashbagging) scrapper. Blade disses the guy for actually sitting down on a toilet to do it. "You gotta stand up." RD: "This is way more than I ever wanted to know."

:60 John Kelly knocks on the door. TNA is going to make an Italian guido-ess character named Cooki as portrayed by Becky Bayless. Blade is so 'drunk' he repeats how he got into an argument with his ex-girlfriend over the wrestler on Online World Of Wrestling. RD wonders what I'll title this week's episode. [At least with Blade bringing back the argument you didn't go with the cliche "Cookies. Cream. Trashbagging" - Clarence]

:69 Sad News: Tiffany has been suspended for shouting at her husband in a hotel. Who wants to pay her $25,000 bail? Serena Deeb has also been future endeavored for her drinking trouble. MVP wants to be a rapper. RD now likes Smackdown now because of Oberto/Alberto Del Rio, but Blade calls him Albert because he doesn't know any better. Though, he can call you Becky if you can call him Al.

Seventeen syllables of something to say:
Albert Del Rio.
Translated literally:
Albert of river.

RD: "Sometimes I question why this show has lasted six years, but with insight like that I think we're good for another six."

044 What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?: November 3, 2006

What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?
(80 minutes)

Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.

Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.

In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.

SERVED IN VIETNAM AT THE AGE OF -8

Obscure Wrestling News (:41): 30000 dumb people have bought Brooke Hogan's CD. Egomania is heritable. Among their releases (:47) WWE will release a Rey Mysterio Jr DVD called the Biggest Little Man. WWE will release a Wrestling's Greatest Families DVD. Vampiro will release a DVD about Vampiro. [... in Canada.]

Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)

RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.

Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)

Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)

Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

The Mike Von Erich to my Fritz Von Erich, Mr. Blade Braxton
WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Madison Carter
URLs not taken: 0.
SPEAKING OFs: 7. Websites hosted by Global Internet, awesome guys, you being the man, wetting yourselves in joy, insecure, that, Hulk Hogan’s money
Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
Outdated references: 1. E.T. The Extraterrestrial on the Atari 2600
I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jed Shaffer, Corporal Kirchner

F-Bombs: 4. Blade (3), Corporal Kirchner

RD Time Outs: 1
Krankor Laughs: 1

Mailbag

Daisy Tweeter: Hello RD and Blade, WrestleCrap Radio Listener #25 here. My question is: since Batista is known as the Animal, and is currently doinking Rebecca DiPietro, does that mean she is in Batistiality? No need to answer.
Zack Gator: Should Vickie Guerrero be the next WWE Diva to do Playboy? Blade subscribes to Plump magazine.
James from Kentucky: Do you have Vince McMahon's home number? Because I keep phoning his office and he doesn't return my calls. P.S. could you say hi to my friend Alex in Puerto Rico? Hello Alex.

~~Blade Braxton~~’s Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku: Corporal Kirchner fills in after murdering Sergeant Haiku Blade.
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.