Episode 5: FootBall Island: January 18, 2013

18 minutes

It's Cheesy, just like this show.

The new site has been up for a week, which is an excuse for RD to 'celebrate'. "It always comes back to Ani doesn't it," says he.

The AFC and NFC games are to be played this week. RD is happy that Dan Dierdorf will not be commentating, leading to more Brett Musburger impressions. (:03)

A bored Blade is eating some Jumping Jack Doritos. He has to take a smell first. He approves. (:06) RD decides to pull into the "filling station" to buy his own. Sadly he only finds pork rinds instead. (:08)

Blade remembers how Don once got chewed out at a shopping mall for invading someone's personal space. (:12)

Blade's girlfriend "Who's" Becki Bayless "is working in a strip club now". (:13)

Blade: "What do you think Virgil's been up to lately?"

"Dan Dierdorf and John Riggins" make football predictions. (:17)

RD: "Well you know...it sure sounded like a good idea when we started?"

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Personal space 

 

• 2013 AFC Conference Championship Picks
  RD Dierdorf- Patriots 44 Ravens 17
  John Blade Riggins- Patriots 28 Ravens 13
  Actual:  Ravens 28 Patriots 13
  

• 2013 NFC Conference Championship Picks
  RD Dierdorf- 49ers over Falcons
  John Blade Riggins- Falcons 28 49ers 21
  Actual:  49ers 28 Falcons 24

071 Fantasy Booking Island: July 27, 2007

Fantasy Booking Island
(108 minutes)

RD and Blade were on Bryan Alvarez's podcast. Brooke is not "anonymous" but Blade is. Quote he: "Can you imagine if we did a show everyday?"

RD's Trip to Wendy's (:08): Blade's runaway Plymouth Horizon story featuring Don Mason. He is asked to write "The Blade Braxton Story". Wendy's has freaks on their take-out paper bags.

Co-Host Contest Week 18 (:20): Starring Primetime (:25), Tom (:32), Seth (Drakin?) (:41), Ed Salo (:47) and WWE's incorrect and useless trivia book. A recorded message and wrong number sum up the Contest. The auditions are (finally) finished. A "winner" will be announced after the 'tapes' are 'reviewed'. Final Tally: 14 of 24.

Clocktrolla: 10138 days. (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News: Rickey Morton left a show because his tag partner Robert Gibson and his glass eye were making three times as much money. (:53) Blade: "I’d still be cleaning the Jergens off me right now." Tajiri does not want to return to WWE, though no one knows if it has to do with his imprisoned wife. The Zombie managed to beat his opponent last week. Mike Knox is returning to bodyslam the Miz. (:60) Areola is selling her vampire wares. (:63) Blade: "Do you need a good spunk rag or a funk sock?" Jackie Gayda's former boyfriend is looking for an excuse to sell her models by also providing free nude pics. "Good friend of the show" Dan Spivey was arrested for a DUI. Blade considers Dan Spivey a role model. The Horsetrolla has a myspace: (:69) Mickie James will be stage-diving at the Warped Tour. According to Blade, Don Mason's grandfather once stumbled onto a guy fucking a horse.

The Question of the Week segment has returned. (:74) Josh has an idea for a food related tag team. The Dusty Rhodes book is still at WrestleCrap HQ.

Mr Rourke's Fantasy Booking Island, e.g. Fantasy Crap Island. (:79 - :87)

WWE has put Hacksaw and Sandman into a tag team. Hulk will be on QVC hawking the Hogan Grill. (:87) Washed-up famous people choose to sell food-preparation machines because pretty much anything that produces heat can cook food and the instructions are simple: put food in thing, close lid, turn on. It's good masturbation material for Blade though. ("That’s between me and the funk sock.") McMahon is still behind the times, especially when it comes to music. Battle of Kings: Booker vs Jerome Lawler. (:96) RD loved the Hitman vs Doink / Lawler DQ match.

Delayed Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Extreme to my Expose, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Figure Four Weekly, Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
• URLs not taken: 3. DigitalPheromones.com, soiledwithsemen.com, funksock.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 8. The exotic types and world tours of love, going around the world getting poontang, the grocery, dramatic, women of WCW, cheap bucks, people about as old as Mr. Rourke, living in the past
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 30. Plymouth Horizon (4), Dodge Omni, Plymouth Horizon (5), Dodge Omni (4), Plymouth Horizon (11), Fantasy Island, Maude, Happy Days, Fantasy Island (2)
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Mr. Roark, Tattoo

 

• F-Bombs: 3. Blade as his mom, Blade (2)

• RD Time Outs: 1
  
• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
• Cricket Chirps: 1
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1

 

• Mickie James References:  6
• Ashley Massaro References:  3
• Shelly Martinez References:  3

• Return: Question of the Week from: Josh
  
• Mr. Mrs. Deal, with Johnny Nitro becoming John Morrison, I was thinking if WWE ever decides to reunite M&M, would they now be called MMM? And if so what are the odds they do a cross-promotional ad campaign for Hungry Man Dinners with Homer Simpson? License to print money! Give my best to Uncle Burt. No sold.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  'Swoggle's a champ. If
  SuperPorky doesn't get
  a shot, we riot.