152 Seguepalooza: July 31, 2009

81 minutes

10% of all proceeds
go to Lucasfilm.

We continue the mockery of ZZ Top at RAW last week. RD wants Vince to sign the Crickets to his shows. He also wants to resurrect old segments. Sadly Fantasy Booking Island is not one of them.

Blade hints at a new segment with the help of The Twilight Zone. (:05) There is no show next week, as RD will be at lovely Phoenix, Arizona. Blade mentions a Loverboy song that RD doesn't know about. Time to hit YouTube for that. See Mike Reno and Beth Phoenix star in Donkey Kong: The Movie! (:06) The video prematurely ejaculates, and so does Blade in response. RD reads new Angry Marks' ad copy, "now 125% more angry".

RD finally has a Celebrity to go with him to the Grocery (:16) This week it's WCR friend Jonny Fairplay. He goes to Trader Joe's, where his cereal of choice is Cookie Crisp. He was at some cantaloupe festival recently, but didn't get along with John Cena oddly. Some discussion about Cena ensues. Mr. Fairplay can be found here.
 
For some reason we wonder about any potential Referees' TRIP to the Grocery (:32) of which we have some random tales of referees.

:36 Obscure News. Could Robert Englund be a potential RAW Guest Host? RD is surprised that Freddy Krueger will be played by Rorschach in the upcoming movie. Gymini doll sales figures - 4 sets left from three weeks ago. Another long Blade Braxton segue.

Eric Bischoff attempts to help the economy by suggesting taxing fat people. No, I have no idea why no one is taking him seriously. (:44) taxfatpeople.com IS taken. Blade did his own taxing in his earlier days in yet another long segue.

There's a new Shockmaster action figure, and it comes with Stormtrooper helmet as illustrated. (:48) Blade does his Nathaniel impression. Blade takes note of the Mr Fuji figure with running number. The BabyTrolla cries, (:55) Francine gives birth. (Congratulations to her.)

PB's List (Exclamation Point) of favorite TNA "correspondents"

:57 The Question of the Week comes from Frank in Cleveland, asking about TNA Correspondents. The Co-Fruitcakes take a look over the list on our site, going over their people for a bit. Blade has a Big Announcement: (:60) He's found a new TNA Correspondent and he promises to have him on next time. Oh, and Tracy Brooks poses for Playboy. (:62)

John Thomas calls in (:63) He is now looking for a Mike Chalk, of Chalk Outline.

:68 Current Wrestling News now has the Coliseum Video music. THE Brian Kendrick has been released. The new induction this week is of Gooker Nominee Braden Walker. A final settlement has been reached on the messy Hogan divorce, leaving Linda free for Blade. He reminds us how his hooker roommate used to lactate for money. He also tries comparing the Big Show's penis size to Shaq's on RAW and discusses Vince trying to anally rape Triple H on his birthday.

Seventeen Syllables:
Hunter is fourty.
Eat some cake and play pin the
Tail on the dead dog.

RD: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."

Video: RD & Blade watch a video by Loverboy

Video: Jonny Fairplay's Trip to the Cantaloupe Festival!

149 Not with a bang but a whimper: June 26, 2009

76 minutes

Sad News: The show is back on the airwaves after having skipped a week. ACTUAL "Supposed" Sad News: Candice Michelle and Sim Snuka Jr. have been released. Blade, obviously drunk from the news, makes fun of Sim's name and wants to gag Candice. He searches for her online rather than do his Co-Fruitcake job on this radio progrem. Once again RD thinks Blade is making things up. Mention of the good old Clocktrolla makes the Co-Fruitcakes wonder if they should repeat the same jokes. (:07)

Meanwhile the Curse is having its damn fool effect killing off Ed McMahon, while Walter Cronkite is close to being no longer with us thanks to these two. Blade wants Ashley Massaro to be on the show, RD wants Vince Russo to return. There's also the "big celebration" of Mike Check trying to break the TNA corresponding record, but RD is still angry at the bumper sticker selling (:11) They wonder if Greg had sex with Mike Check's daughter, most likely in his brothel (how would that work?).

Blade took a TRIP to the convenience store (:14) and spends his time trying out some more Doritos flavors. In other words nothing happens for 10 minutes on a show with "wrestling news like no place else".

Jim Ross calls in afterwards to bitch and moan some more. (:24) He's angry at shilling Kentucky Grilled Chicken at RAW, and he tells his 'story' of meeting Colonel Sanders and thinking him a Grand Wizard of the KKK. Even more bizarre is his random reference to former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, making RD crack up even as he continues to mention Michael Cole's "fag house". (...how would that work also?)

From there the two call Sir Alec (:31) who's strangely enough suddenly in mainland America somewhere. (Well, he's 'normally up Blade's street', so in this case somewhere apart from that.) He's unusually evasive this week, making strange noises with the help of RD's computer as he leaves without telling a story. It's almost like he's hiding something that RD & Blade will ultimately forget about a week or so from now...

DESTRUCITY
of a good painting canvas

To some Obscure News, the Warrior is now an Ultimate Knife Painter. (:35) The Co-Fruitcakes look at his works at http://www.warriorgallery.com, which mostly look to be Greg Valentine dressed up as a native American. Blade, now drunk enough to be randomly pressing buttons on his phone, feels moved enough to paint a picture of Candice Michelle to auction for some money should he get around to actually doing so. He should paint one of Stubby and have him sign it.

As RD brings up the terrible thought of Linda Hogan being RAW GM at :44 and possibly giving Vince ideas, the Hulk is trying to stop paying alimony to his wife by trying to make it so that the money is being used for drugs. Hmmm, I guess he's actually the one taking those drugs and coming up with that stupid idea.

The phone rings again, but this time it's none other than good old John Thomas. (:46) After being fired from his former job thanks to Chris Hansen, he's now calling on behalf of DBR Services for "Mike The Czech." So that explains it, he's secretly Keyser Soze! The closest he found of him before was some random abortion clinic. (... ...how would that work also?)

Moving on from that to this week's Question, (:53) Mike N. (Nesmith?) tries to summon Paul Christy to the show, but unfortunately he's on vacation with the woman sexual Triple Kelly and can't attend.

And now to our live remote with Mike Check (:56), at a fireworks factory celebrating his tie for that random record of theirs. Sigh. This whole "Summer Sizzlin' Splashin' Spectacular" was him attending some Star Wars convention, go to some gun show, and fly a helicopter. That's it. Peter Gazer was more active than him. Hell, Stubby did more than him!

Blade shares my negativity too, still pissed at the veteran DJ for some reason. Mike circumvents this by failing to pretend he doesn't know this John Thomas of DBR Services, instead remembering his days at KBNG "The Big Kabang" in Cheyanne Wyoming, where he was known as Roman Candle and did a show with "The Sparklers".

He then chooses to smoke a cigar given to him from some British chap.

Apparently he failed to notice it was from the ACME company, or that you shouldn't smoke in a goddamn motherfucking fireworks factory. Remind me again what he's doing here? As expected the place goes up in a big explosion, kinda like this show. To further expand the truthiness of the radio progrem, in less than a minute after the whole thing goes up, some random fire marshal comes on the phone at the facility (which is still working and not charred and melted from the flames), sounds incoherently like Blade, and then just leaves.

At this point I'm looking at the Hornswaggle as Vince's son angle and thinking how realistic it was.

In any case, RD plays John Parr's St. Elmo's Fire as he knew Mike would if he were still with us.(And trust me, he is. He'll probably appear perched on the top of MegaTrolla or something.)

Anyway. An hour after Candice blogs some truthfully nice and thankful words to those in the company she is leaving from, WWE removes the post and any mention of her from their site. (:67) It's not as if there are online dirtsheets and pages that could chronicle and record and save such things yes? (Not this one of course. Also I am pretty sure wrestling websites are too new of a thing for Vince to understand.) Also, was she released for being too fat? Blade doesn't care however, he wants to eat something while having sex with her. I suggest an In-N-Out Burger. People are still upset that Donald Trump doesn't own the WWE anymore. Blade wants to interact with RD's pre-taped segments on the show one day like Vince did and see how well it goes. But he's still sad over the Candice firing.

Seventeen Inches:
Candice got released.
This week at Trolla's website:
Clocktrollas half-off.

RD: "You know, I really thought the last five syllables of this week's haiku -  I didn't know how you were gonna do it -  but I really thought the last five syllables were going to be: Mikhail Gorbachev."

147 VKM MVP: May 29, 2009

73 minutes
"most gibberish-tastic WCR we've ever had"

All-Time Leader in Fools Pitied

Blade begins recording hitting the bottle, something he hasn't done for a while and which makes the show more interesting from the get-go. This is due to the week's RAW and Vince trying to make his own wrestling-basketball team for his company's play-date. Blade thinks the owner of the Denver Nuggets is "Walter Kronkie" and not Stan Kroenke. Also Cronkite is still with us. But he'd probably pass over if he saw the WWE-NBA feud still continue on. RD has an excuse to bring Good Times' Mama swearing on the show. Vince's misguided effort to get Lakers fans is mocked. If he starts trying to bring Kobe Bryant and Lebron James to face each other on Smackdown I'll  give up all hope.

Global Internet's Greg wants to come on the radio progrem to clear some things about his company and the sexual allegations leveled against him. (:11) Despite this the Co-Fruitcakes continue their globalinternetbrothel.net conspiracy against him. Baseball's golden boy Jose Canseco in MMA. Zubaz-wearing Mr. T at a Cubs game. RD serenades him with Bette Midler. Blade enjoys Bette Midler farting during her period. Everyone has a fetish. (:17) Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? It's your last chance! (Assuming May includes parts of June up to the 11th. Sadly, all copies of the Book of Lists Exclamation Point have been sold.)

Blade took a TRIP to the Convenience Store. (:20) He encountered promotional Snickers Nuggatbot bars for the new Transformers movie. It's just a normal bar with some urine-colored food coloring in it. RD makes fun of Bumblebee.

There's no Fan Fiction as Blade couldn't find anything good this week. (He's getting drunk, remember?)

Mike Check is still on his tour in the WWCR Party Van (:26) and when we reach him he's in Dalton, Georgia at some random "Gun & Knife Show" He might as well report from somewhere more dangerous. A petting zoo perhaps. He was once in the Dalton market at WWGA "Georgia's Finest. He was known as "the Original Georgia Peach" until a woman took it (I didn't know Ty Cobb was a cross-dresser) and then he became George Uh. There are some random words about Pong, and Blade wants to rape an imaginary character. Poor dope. Before things can get TOO exciting, Mike encounters this week's deadly threat - some gun demonstration. You know what happens; do I even need to say it? (Apparently down in Georgia they use live ammo and ignore safety precautions.) RD wonders where Mike gets all his stuff. He probably trades his bumper stickers for it.

To news more Obscure than even Mike Check, the Mantaur is running some Indy Fed in Omaha (:37). I sincerely hopes he runs it in his bull outfit. Matt Morgan will be there at some "Funplex"; will the Pink Assassin Midnight Rose also make an appearance? RD wants to manage someone against his ward as Blade has yet another "Big Announcement" this summer for some indie appearance. "Pretend you didn't hear that!" he tries (and fails) to disclaim.

The Bastion Booger now has his own action figure, with the same dimensions as the real life gimmick I reckon. Blade remembers a naked Mike Shaw being arrested on CNN. RD doesn't believe him. There's some mention of some Interactive with the Gymini Action Figures from last week - how many are being bought? There's your weekly threat of a new induction for ya. Can another Co-Hosss contest be far behind?

This week's Someone Bought This! has a new [prototype] Haku action figure; but he still doesn't come with crown as illustrated. What's the deal? (:47) Blade went rummaging in his basement as he usually does to hide from John Thomas and found some Wrestling Ring catalog he wants to auction. But will he sign it? RD reads a random Apter mag about Too Cool Scorpio fighting the Barbarian, and Liz Hunter on Ricky Steamboat. A new gift from the Trolla Corporation arrives for him (:51), This turns out to be the BabyTrolla, a baby doll giving news of wrestling-related births. In this case Dawn Marie has her second child, sincere congratulations to the couple. Blade can't say the word Caesarean properly (I was C-sectioned if you're not interested [As was I! --Iggy]) and says the word 'cunt' for the first time on the progrem. [This site rightchere is the only one on the planet where you'll find BabyTrolla or "Baby Trolla".]

Today's Question (:53) is a physical piece of paper. On an audio podcast. Er...The sender, one Matthew F. of San Jose, sends his message to Bill Apter courtesy of RD, wanting his own Membership Card. He really needs to post a picture of it on the site and/or forums as visual proof.

Sure enough, Mike Check calls in; (:57) he's not dead yet!

Blade: "Damn."

Mike was wearing a bullet-proof vest, though apparently it's slipped RD's mind that he should really call from the nearby hospital being checked for possible injuries, and not STILL BE AT THE GUN SHOW!!! [Hah, you Canadian with your excellent health care system! --Iggy] Dear Emperor. Blade loses his patience with the grizzled veteran, as he often does every week, and Mike plays a song for Victoria, now in TNA. RD wants the man deader than his career. How about sending Mrs. Deal to take care of him? She has a proven track record of eliminating TNA correspondents you know.

Jim Ross calls in yet again. (:60) RD is happy to hear him, anything to get rid of Mike. He has more Sad News, the regret of being stuck with Jason Hervey at Clash of the Champions while Vanna White was at Wrestlemania IV. No, not that, he doesn't have a "video blog" this week. Yeah, good luck with that. He's also still angry at Michael Cole, now just a "male cigarette".

But at least JR being around is better than at :67, with more Linda Hogan nonsense, with her calling out Brooke and her breasts. Makes me want to listen to more episodes of the radio progrem. That and Triple H trading an attempt at Thor for being He-Man.

Seventeen Roundball Syllables:
Jazz. Thunder. Magic.
That dog-shit RAW Monday had
none of the above.

Well it could be worse. Could you imagine Vince feuding with the Clippers? (Although he'd still get more of an audience than TNA's.)

144 Cursed!: May 8, 2009

71 minutes

Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows.

This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")

Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)

No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.

Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.

The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on wwe.com): "I'd make Mickie sticky".

RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.

No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)

Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.

Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.

127 Thanks For Nothing: November 21, 2008

"Thanks For Nothing!"
82 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Thanksgiving has landed like the Mayflower on American soil, and Blade looks forward to the Lions losing yet again. He also doesn't like pecan pie for some reason, and he missed buying some Bo Jackson pumpkin pie. There's always a next time... French vanilla cool whip is given some psychoanalytical treatment. Don...Don Mason was once caught with Ready Whip to remove the 'salty taste'. (:03) This week's Classic Inductions are glossed over, which feature the Gobbeldy Gooker, the AWA Team Challenge Series featuring a Turkey on a Pole, and a ruined Survivor Series (:04). Oh, and the new induction is Tatanka (Buffalo) returning to WWE and hating Thanksgiving due to the injustices done to his people, which is on the same level of authenticity as Chakotay's Native American heritage on Star Trek: Voyager. RD and Blade wonder if Samoa Joe basted and cooked as a turkey would be better than the real thing. A temporary sponsor: the 2008 Archive DVD, taking the place earlier occupied of the WrestleCrap Book of LISTS Exclamation Point! Shilling of it ensues.

Blade's TRIP down the Cereal Aisle (:11) has him encountering Coco Drops, which to him resembles shit. RD is enraged because Little Debbie Snack Trees have increased in price - who can blame them in this sterling economy? Blade fails to entertain us. (:15) Little Debbie is 48 years of age according to RD's search. Blade wonders if she can pose for Playboy and finds this flattering picture on Google. 'Powerful people' are mentioned as part of the 12 Listeners (:18)Well, yes, they are. They have electrical power alright.

(I apologize for that.)

Paul London today
(artist's representation)

Obscure Wrestling News - a $20 million cut is rumored for WWE (:22) Could Supercrazy be a solution? An unemployed Paul London can be booked (perhaps for your next birthday party) at plfutureendeavors@yahoo.com. There's discussion of hiring him as a co-host (or TNA correspondent), but can he be understood through his mask?

Anonymous Brooke (remember her?) has won some sort of 'Freestyle Fitness Mexico 2008 Contest' to the tune of $5000 (:29). This must have included competing in evening gown and swimsuit contests, resulting in heated discussion of her as a parade. Robecca DiPietro has made another commercial but her double entendre actions puzzle our co-hosts. Perhaps that porn music can help us out.

Current Diva Tiffany promotes veganism on her blog. (:41) RD and Blade slightly mock her about her knowledge of animal treatment. Jim Ross calls (:42), and of course being a cattle man with his myriad BBQ sauces is completely opposed - after all who doesn't like meat? (Especially if it's Jim's.) He also has a Myspace page. He spends his time telling us how to make a turkey, and we hear how "Doc beats Jim's meat." Well there you go. Blade can't stop laughing while as him.

Oh, and Marc Mero was robbed this week. (:51) Perhaps the same guy who robbed a psychotic Balls Mahoney a while back did the deed?

The phone rings again and it's...Chief Jay Strongbow? RD picks up and puts the phone down.

Blade: "Not only was that nonsensical, but that could be the most random moment in WrestleCrap Radio history."

Question Of The Week from Darth Who (2) (:54) concerns Christmas decorations. Blade is already drunk from his hospital mug. Good for him.

SPEAKING OF drinking, Nathaniel (:59) 'talks' about wrestling video games and TNA Impact. Time: 6 minutes. At least from this we know that he knows more than just TNA Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling! Blade wishes only the worst for him should they finally fire him. Preferably out of a cannon.

Music-Less Current Wrestling News is worn out from Nate (like all of us). RD promises to find music after nearly four years of silence. It emulates the current state of wrestling, and thus something they are not very much enthused about. Well, except for Randy Savage's cool-ass beard. I think I've found a new forum signature. (:69) He's also voice acting in the upcoming Disney film Bolt (Exclamation Point). Sadly it's just a generic animated movie (which is generally any animated movie these days not made by Pixar) and not the Vincent Lecavalier Story, unfortunately.

There's TMZ footage somewhere of Roddy Piper smoking marijuana and acting hopped up (of which my colleague Iggy has managed to find.). Hulk Hogan is selling his trademarks to Eric Bischoff so Linda can't get it...errr...

Chief Jay Strongbow's appearance on live TV angers RD and Blade who wish for a little randomness in it all (and random people appearing too).

Blade's gonna finish y'all off here with seventeen syllables about Chief Jay Strongbow:
He's Chief Jay Strongbow.
It's not why he was on Raw
It's just one word: How.

RD quotes Tatanka: "Thanks for nothing!"

(The next show is in two weeks, friends.)

118 Stay Hungry: September 12, 2008

Honktrolla
(88 minutes)

RD explains the differences between WWE's Honk-A-Meter and the Wrestlecrap Clocktrolla (:02). If you've seen the Honk-A-Meter, you know that the Honk-A-Meter got no crowd reaction, while the Clocktrolla was beloved by all twelve listeners. (By the way, the Honk-A-Meter is a joke that some people don't get.) RD and Blade wonder which WCRadio segment the WWE could possibly sample next (:06), but play ZZ Top should Vince be listening.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD tries a pasty Lion Bar from the new World Food Aisle (:15). Blade says RD is acting unprofessional (:17). RD says weird Diva Maryse talked like Frenchy Martin (:18). RD "likes the idea of the Chick-fil-A cow" because it wants people to kill and eat other animals in the barnyard (:20).

Domino's Pizza has a new mascot, but it's not a rehash of The Noid, which you might remember from jokes on The Simpsons and Family Guy. It's a talking dildo that scares a family, except a boy who loves it (:25). (Watch Forgotten Sin's video of this commentary.) (B.B.M. has made a gif of the jerking portion. 1.1 MB) Blade brings up "W.C. Funnies" by Lord Soundwave (:30). RD and Blade are working on the new version of the WC Archive DVD-ROM (:34).

Photo by Sean Carless

Obscure Wrestling News: Jerry Reed and Estelle Getty died, so RD suggests having a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (:35). ["To update on former ECW champ Justin Credible, who made the news recently after being spotted working at Olive Garden, he is actually currently going to culinary school."] RD and Blade pitch animotronic wrestlers for WWE Pizza Palace, like Andre the Giant with a box of Honey-Comb cereal (:39). Jim Ross is on the line to discuss the Olive Garden (:42). WWE needs to lift this segment. Ashley Massaro will release an album but it will not contain Blade's Tribute (:44). The Big Nippled Vampire is Women's Wrestling Worldwide championship for the fetish league. The domains bignipplevampire.com and bignippledvampire.com are still unclaimed (:51).

Horsetrolla: Someone asked Mickie James about the Arby's photos (:54). Ed Leslie can afford a horse. Blade asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time Don Mason and his grandpa stumbled upon a guy fucking a horse?" (:58) [Yes.]

Question of the Week from Smokin' Vokin': The Rock vs The Scissor vs The Paper "in a never-ending feud" (:61) They already did that with the Gang Wars. Huey the WrestleCrap Ghoul from last Halloween is loved. TNA Peter Gazer blows off RD and Blade (:66). This week's It Came from Youtube: WCW Nitro choose-me rants from a video game (:68). There are also Thunder-branded rants. This week's Someone Bought This! is Hulk Hogan-branded cheeseburgers and chicken sandwiches are in a Wal-Mart freezer near you.

Ric Flair got beat up by his daughter's boyfriend, and she got tasered (:73). Hulk Hogan is paying for Linda and her numerous frivolities. Blade liked the Braden Walker 3 Disc DVD Trailer (:80). Afa was renamed Manu. Blade's original ring name may have been Slice O'Pizza (:83). Jack Swagger has yet to have an online profile.

Seventeen syllables dedicated to Primo Colon:
Dubya E's fresh blood,
Primo Colon -- hard for a
woman to resist.

002-BETA The Lost Episode (Mommy's Milk)

The Lost Episode
Al Capone's Second Vault
((( recorded in over-modulated fidelity ))) (42 minutes)

This is RD and Blade's first attempt to produce the second episode of WrestleCrap Radio. Blade says RD wanted a do-over because of sound quality, but the final version is just as bad.

RD prepares himself for the show by drinking out of his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. This does not help to improve the quality of the show though.

The Co-Hosts receive more love from Get In The Ring for their upcoming appearance.

RD talks about that week's Raw. Hey, I remember these attempts at jokes!

The listener can't help but appreciate the then-future strategy of refusing to talk about wrestling. Big Show vs the Heart Throbs has zero nostalgic value.

RD: "That's the thing I love about those James Bond movies, it's that they're so subtle. You know, we make fun of, like, WWF, WWE, and Beaver Cleavage, you know what I mean? But that is like so subtle compared to 'ummm, yes, what's your name?' 'My name is Pussy Galore.' 'I must be dreaming, nhmm hmm hmm hmm.'"

This year's Diva Search wasn't funny. RD brings up the hot dog eating contest which makes Blade mention what he saw One Night In China. The winner of the Search, one Ashley Massaro, looks like she has a mustache (Their words.). (:17) This is compared to another contestant who looks like an insect and another who looks like a 70's TV character.

RD admits that WrestleCrap Radio is a glorified phone call.

Nineteen minutes in, Tee Hee Tickle Party is in full effect.

SummerSlam will have at least some (Wrestle)Crap: the Eddie's kid on a pole match. Perhaps Hunter can adopt him. RD's PSA (:20): Don't solve parental disputes in the ring. RD also likes JBL's promos.

Blade suggests that Shawn Michaels give Hulk Hogan some of mommy's milk during their match. (I'm surprised he didn't do this during his face heyday in the 80s.) (:22) Blade then hits some 'haiku music'.

Seventeen Syllables of Slobber-Knocking: (:25)
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

RD laughs so hard he spills milk all over his keyboard.

Some things happen for the next fifteen minutes. In honor of Dusty Rhodes in talks with WWE RD is planning to give away his autobiography to anyone who submits a good Question of the Week. The first question, from Andrew is Good, asks about wrestlers RD has met in person. Blade once met Coach at a bar. RD doesn't believe him. Crazy Rose's question is read and promptly discarded.

While wondering about potential WCR guests, Dennis Stamp is explained. Tony Atlas wanted money to appear in the WrestleCrap book. RD doubts Vince would call him up to return to WWE (:37), and we all are glad RD was incorrect. A Tee Hee Tickle Party closes the show as it just falls apart.

To improve the quality of this recap, here is the intro to Heathcliff, as well as Gummi Bears. Listen to those vocals!

I want to hear Blade sing the chorus of St Elmo's Fire.

109 Out Of Time: June 20, 2008

Tully Blanchard in the JJ Dillon Deli
(67 minutes)

In the first week of the WrestleCrap Garage Sale, Blade's funk sock sold. Milb Fan sent RD a list of the errors in the WWF Trivia Book. Milb stands for Minor League Baseball, not a sexual desire. Chili Cheese dog Twisteroni (:12) is not discontinued, despite what Blade thinks. RD is now thinking of having listeners pay to do segments.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Kraft cheese & macaroni crackers (:18). RD wants to visit Tully Blanchard's Deli to have his meat sliced thin.

Blade: Why is it that whenever we have Ricky Morton news, it always has to be sad?

Obscure Wrestling News: Linda Hogan is dating a 19 year old (:21). Rodney Mack TKO'd "Winless" Joe Nameth in twenty-one seconds (:25). Jimmy Hart wants a tour of singing wrestlers, which would be quite awesome. Of course Blade manages to make it all sexual (:28). Sad News: Ricky Morton can't wrestle in Kentucky anymore. "Why do we never have happy Ricky Morton news?" asks RD (:33). Horsetrolla: Mickie James was on some show called "The Big 10" (:37).

Question of the Week: The Co-Hosts question how to offend the Listeners through song or deli. This week from Premier Blah: Mountain Dew Doritos are disgusted. An idea for RD to return to active wrestling in a Deal Or No Deal style angle is pondered. (:40). [In hindsight I should probably have made Trash Losagain the No Deal guy in that equation. - PB]

Stubby's TNA News happens: Jeff Jarrett is returning. (:52). RD loves the Rock (:58). ZZ Top is always on WWE shows when they're in one of those cities in Texas (:63).

This Haiku Outta Here:
An eye for an eye --
Kane versus Show with Sandy
Duncan as the ref.

RD: We'll keep an eye out for ya.

097 Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton: March 14, 2008

Krankor Speaks (to the people of Earth)

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton
(77 minutes)

Unexpectedly, the show begins with wrestling news: Jeff Hardy pulled a Blade Braxton and was suspended for sixty days for violating the wellness policy.

For more information, skip ahead seventy minutes.

RD and Blade imitate Lord Alfred. Blade did color commentary on a shaky bootleg of a Whiplash Wrestling match, Jude Vice vs Brian Jacobs. Jude is the one wearing white tights. Whiplash Wrestling's official site is hosted by the fine folks at tripod.com.

Blade: "I bet Vickie Guerrero knows how to fuck."
RD: "I guarantee you that's not on the Observer this week."

No 24/7 (Week 6) (:13) as RD went to Atlanta for his job to stay in a paper-thin walled hotel with mirrors all over its bathrooms, and saw a Dwarf House Chick-fil-A. It's essentially a restaurant with an expanded Chic-Fil-A menu.

The Faxtrolla fires out obscure wrestling news at the 24-minute mark. Damien Demento has a rather confusing response to RD and Blade. RD thus thinks they have won the battle by default. Matt Morgan is an American Gladiator. Sean Morley (Val Venus) is selling his Mac Powerbook. Well, he TRIED to. All that work for 271 page views and zero bids.

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton (March Madness): A debate rages over who lactates more: Nathan Jones or Linda Hogan. (:39) Blade insists that everyone see the two-minute commercial for The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express instead of trying Hulk Hogan's contraption. (:42) The Crickets want to move out of WC HQ. Joanie Laurer's latest reality show is called "Celebrity Circus". She'll play the Bearded Lady. (:48)

The Question of the Week segment occurs. (:50) Shane Dillon has a trick question for the Co-Hosts. Blade wants to sire children with Alyssa Milano and doesn't like the Double Filet-o-Fish. RD saw A Clockwork Orange by mistake. [He probably saw it via the Ludovico Technique. Great film adaptation though. - PB]

RD summons Johnny 6 for TNA news, (:55) which consists solely of the fact that an audience member was hit by a (flying) fish during a Dudley Boyz match. "Thank. God. Lent. Is. Over. Soon," he says cryptically, prompting the Crickets to answer for him.

Sixty-two minutes into the show, the "current wrestling news scene" is discussed. A bait-and-switch at Raw leaves many mad. It is revealed that the ECW title is as valuable as a super sized combo meal from McDonald's.

Blade Braxton's Wrestling Haiku:
Hardy and Ashley
The correct phrase is Just Say
No, not just say blow.

RD proclaims, "That is the worst ending ever."

085 Black Friday Kleinrock: November 30, 2007

Listened To This Show

Kevin Kleinrock Interview (on Black Friday)
(106 minutes)

RD has a special ringtone for Blade.

The Book is finally being shipped. So too are the Speaking Of T-Shirts. Get your own!

RD's Trip to the Black Friday (:14): A small child sleeps in a Toys R Us shopping cart. Coffee and donuts are sold. A woman buys a Playstation 2.

Sad News: Quiet Riot's lead singer died. (:32) Speaking of being anally raped by Michael Keaton...

Interview with Kevin Kleinrock, the explosive mastermind behind WSX. (:39 - :70)

Obscure Wrestling News (:70): RD and Blade visit Kaelin KGB. Former TNA interviewer Leticia rode the sybian. Blade's falling asleep fun with sex lines. Don Mason's bill-racking fun with sex lines.

Question of the Week 1 from Kennedy13 (:83): Miz's magic hat could make him a Bond henchman. Question of the Week 2 from Ismael Naji (whose name gets butchered) (:86): Listening to the progrem while at work. Question of the Week 3 from Erik Majorwitz (4) Sad News (:88): Hulkster was given divorce papers. No more Boob Berry.

Kelly Kelly's handspring elbow came up three feet short. (:92) Last week, Kelly Kelly couldn't get the cap off the can of Reddi Whip. Carlito has been added to the Looney Tunes skits. (:97)

Seventeen Syllables for the New First Man and First Lady of Wrestling:
Smackdown's new couple.
I wonder if Vickie got
speared on the first date.

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

Crüe Ball

Crap In A Hat

(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy. Blade: "That sounds so exciting, I’m, I’m literally I’m I’m salivating at the mouth just thinking about it."

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Balls to my Mahoney, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
• URLs not taken: 2. JackTunney.com, Furthermore.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Things you shouldn’t probably partake in, which, CM Punk and John Morrison
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 2. Atari 2600, Wide World of Sports
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Kelly
  

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
• Cricket Chirps: 2
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1

 

• Mickie James References: 1

• Question of the Week from: Ultimate Kennedy (4)
  
• If a smark were to design a wrestling video game, do you think one of the statistics that they would work into characters would be a work rate listing? Wrestlers could have such things as speed, stamina and work rate. I think there would also be a moveset. I love the idea.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Return of the Game?
  I'd rather play Atari
  Twenty Six Hundred.
  

• Kelly's Haiku:
  Vincent's bastard kid.
  A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
  Gooker ends in tie.
  

060 Don't crap over spilled milk: April 27, 2007

Take Your Vitamins, Brother!

Nuts, Jugs, & Broomsticks
(86 minutes)

RD unjustly accuses Blade Braxton of wanting to milk Linda Hogan's udders.

We waste some time with innuendo of lubing a penis before sticking it in.

RD proposes a WrestleCrap Carnival for the crappers with midget tossing and Mike Jones testicles dunk tanking. (:13)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Coke Plus has been unleashed. RD doesn't want his carbon sugar water to have minerals and vitamins. RD and Blade drink a sickening amount of milk every week. RD had leaky milk at Wal-Mart. This angers Blade for some reason.

Co-Host Contest Week 9: taking it easy. (:24) A debate rages with David Schnatz over Tatanka (Buffalo). Blade makes a saving throw for a contestant. Ramses responses with farting sounds. (:36) 6 of 16.

Mail Bag: boring. (:43) Puff Master Mark is sad that CM Punk does not tag team with the Sandman in the style of The Odd Couple. Eric Majorwitz (3) inquires into Randy Baer's whereabouts. Perhaps he's with the Beverly Hillbillies? (:46) Seth Drakin wants a Dukes of Hazzard tag team. (:47)

Obscure Wrestling News: Nidia gave birth to Lilith Fae Dal Bosco. (:48) Blade is NOT the father. Lita does not look like a man up close. WWE beverages, Raw Attitude and Slammin Citrus, (no Smackdown Punch) will hit Wal-Mart shelves on May 15. (:54) Sean O'Haire is still in jail after a bar fight. David Lee Roth impressions.

RD: "I wanna recap the show so far. We've talked about Brooke Hogan getting it with a broomstick, talked about Linda Hogan's leaky milk jugs, Virgil Vincent Mike Jones getting the Thousand Jap Slap into the genitals, and now we're talking about doing a show where Blade Braxton impersonates RD Reynolds impersonating David Lee Roth doing Yankee Rose Wrestling News. I will say this for the show: I promise you that no other wresting radio show covers that broad a spectrum."

Horsetrolla (:62): Mickie James is considering posing for Playboy. Hulk said he'd smoke massive doobage. (:68) Hulk vs Lawler has become Hulk vs Paul Wight.

Every match on TNA Lockdown was a cage match, with extra stipulations. (:71) One was a blindfold match and the blindfolds kept slipping. Last year there was a match on top of a cage.

Randy Orton was sent home. (:77) Blade is constantly gonged for his bad singing. HHH was riding a horse named Butterscotch. The Condemned premieres this weekend.

Milked-Out Seventeen Syllables:
Nathan Jones, Condemned.
Jones 3:16 -- I just Vi-
tamin D'ed your ass.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by not-Beverly Hillbilly Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Brooke to my Linda, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Lube, chemicals that cause cancer in laboratory rats, milk
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 2. Dr. Quinn, Quincy M.D.
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade
  

• Weird Al Laughs: 1
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
• Cricket Chirps: 1

 

• Mickie James References: 2
• Trish Stratus References: 2
  

 

• Mailbag
• Puff Master Mark: Are you as sad as I am that CM Punk did not join the ECW Originals so he could form a tag team with the Sandman? They could be called The Odd Couple 2000 and Punk could follow the Sandman during his entrance and pick up his tossed beer cans with an umbrella. Mad props for being older than RD and Blade.
  
• Erik Majorwitz (3): Your comment on Jethro bowls of cereal got me thinking of The Beverley Hillbillies. The character that played Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies was Max Baer Jr., son of boxing champ Max Baer. Your co-author from Wrestlecrap was Randy Baer. Any relation between the two? Not to my knowledge. What is he up to? It's like he just vanished.
  
• Seth Drakin: Would you mark for Jamie Noble and Jimmy Yang Wang teaming up to be a Dukes of Hazzard tag team? And if it ever happened who would you want to be their Daisy Duke-type manager? No sold.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Nathan Jones, Condemned.
  Jones 3:16 -- I just Vi-
  tamin D'ed your ass.
  

059 In four words or less: April 13, 2007

In four words or less
(85 minutes)

RD posted a new Jobber of the Week (est. 2003), the first one not written by Blade Braxton.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:04): green Rice Krispies treats. Shrek has gone too far. Blade wants to convert some big blue mailboxes into Star Wars characters other than R2D2, but I can't really tell because he rambles a lot.

Global Internet has written a letter chastising RD and Blade for saying their websites give guaranteed free sexual services. (:10) The new sponsor Angry Mark's ad copy wants you to kick Mike Jones in the balls.

Co-Hosss Contest Week 8: simple questions for Josh Van Meiter (:17), Danny Franchise (:26), and Rudy (:32). "I don't know" gets you gonged. 5 of 14 currently.

Vince Verhei

Mail Bag (:37): John Nelson (AKA Ultimate Kennedy) reminds us of Blade's lust for Linda. RD wants evidence. Theo from Salisbury's question about penises is broken down by logic. (:42) RD reads my gay letter and calls me gay. [Punk's Junk](:47) Blade is allegedly itching for a fight with Bryan Alvarez's Co-Host Vince Verhei. "That’s why I’ve been laying down!" (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News (:53): Larry Zbysko was in a porno decades ago. Blade: "Is he banging Kathy Gagne doggystyle?...You've never wanted to see Kathy Gagne butt-ass naked?" RD unjustly accuses Blade of having fantasies of Linda Hogan. Some random person (Roni Jonah) wants breast implants and needs your charity to do so. Horsetrolla: Mickie James 'is wearing different pants'. That's it. (:60) The Four Hosemen DVD was excellent, particularly with Paul Roma in it. (:65) RD dreams of Ric Flair taking out his penis and swinging it around. Kelly Kelly is doing random handstands in the ring because she cannot seem to escape it. Disco Inferno was arrested for having a casino in his basement. (:72)

Blade: "You’ve never jerked off to a hand spring?"

RD doesn't find chicks dancing on ECW to be hot.

Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
CM Punk turned heel.
He's New Breed. He's honk-shew honk-
shew honk-shew honk-shew.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Paul Roma to my Jim Powers, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
• URLs not taken: 1. BladeBraxtonWantsBoobies.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 12. Gross things, tie-ins (2), sponsors dropping shows, cream for a gong finger, men with little bags, uh, uh being offensive and offending people, things you can find it you look around enough, such, people who look they were melting, people who are melting
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade
  

• RD Time Outs: 1
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
• Cricket Chirps: 2
• GGG (Gary Glitter Gay) Bombs:  1
  

 

• Mickie James References: 3

 

• Mailbag
• John Nelson [AKA Ultimate Kennedy]: Dear RD and Blade, has Blade been able to live down his fantasies about Linda Hogan? I hope so! Trust me, I'm not offended but that was sick. I always thought Colette Foley was much lovelier and married to a cooler wrestler, BROTHER! Have a great day, and don't forget RD that new classic superstar Bob Backlund figure is almost upon us. Blade: No.
  
• Theo from Salisbury: I've got two questions. The first one's for Mr. Blade Brakestown. How much do you weigh? 235. Second question is for both. Would you let a surgeon remove your penis if you became the most successful wrestler of all time? RD: No need to. Blade: Yes.
  
• JR [Farmer Iggy, The Original WrestleCrap Radio Historian]: I believe I'm the only one who saw Punk's Junk pop out and back into his speedos during a Raw match with Lenny Dykstra in Chicago a few weeks ago. If you're curious, it's about one minute into the video posted at dailymotion.com. I'm not going to ask you if Punk is circumcised or not but I did want to ask: am I gayer for noticing it, or gayer for telling you about it? Nice new soundbite we have here. We'll offend a lot of people this way.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  CM Punk turned heel.
  He's New Breed. He's honk-shew honk-
  shew honk-shew honk-shew.
  

053 Linda Love: February 23, 2007

"Worst promo Ever!"

Linda Love
(67 minutes)

Blade is sick and sounds like The Penguin, as played by Burgess Meredith. He promises to be professional. Then he coughs into the microphone.

RD and Misses RD ate Valentine's dinner at White Castle. (:04)

Co-Host Contest Week 3: Thomas DJ does not like Russians. (:11) Niko Blade (:19) misses an important rule: You must answer the question. (Although Blade does admire his balls.) Current Tally: 2 of 6.

RD's Return Trip to the Comp-U-Mart (:22): Salisbury Steak guy is gone. Instead a man smelled like KFC 'extra stenchy'. Blade and RD cut promos against Jared from Subway, nearly five years after South Park's episode entitled, "Jared Has AIDS." (:28)

Blade's Trip to the Cardiologist (:30): Blade was told to store 24 hours' worth of his urine. Blade's Alien Ham story is the most popular WrestleCrap Radio segment.

Obscure Wrestling News (:35): New Jack has opened a wrestling school. Brooke Hogan is moving to LA to become the "next Paris Hilton," says mother Linda Hogan. Blade has a strange attraction to her. (:37)

Horsetrolla: The tail lifts and out comes a coiled paper. (:40) Sad News: Mickie James is no longer WWE Women's Champion. Blade loves Robecca, currently Batista's girl.

Wrestling Dream Analysis (:46): Blade might bang Linda Hogan if he was listening to this segment's background music. Lions make the playoffs and a crippled Jackie Gayda gives Blade a shout-out.

Mail Bag (:53): Do people have sex while listening to the show? Lou for Brou wants RD's opinion on great heels. Benjamin Bergman 'totally' listened to the progrem last week. (:57) Ric Flair would die before he could even think of retiring. [Or perhaps become a zombie and still keep wrestling - Future PB]

Mike Awesome died.

Seventeen Syllables All Grown Up WrestleMania Haiki:
WrestleMania.
All Grown Up, huh? Michael Jack-
son would not approve.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Penguin to my Joker, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
• URLs not taken: 1. GuaranteedPoonTang.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 8. Being hetero and love and all kinds of things, anal fumes, which, Summer’s Eve, dropping the f-bomb, train wreck (2), tran-wreck
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 2. Burgess Meredith as The Penguin, The Gong Show
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 7. Blade
  

• Weird Al Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
  

• Mickie James References: 5
• Ashley Massaro References: 2
  

• Mailbag
• Lou for Brou: Hey RD, I've read you reference the Mr. McMahon character as one of the top two or three all time greatest heels. Who else would you say would be in the top three? Just curious and I think a lot of your loyal crappers would be interested in knowing your opinion. Ric Flair. Bob Backlund.
  
• Benjamin Bergman: Totally listened to your show for the first time last week. It rules. Do you think that Ric Flair will wrestle till he dies in the ring? Ric Flair is starting to look like a carcass these days.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Boba Foot reboot?
  WrestleMania.
  All Grown Up, huh? Michael Jack-
  son would not approve.

 

036 One Year Anniversary...Somehow: August 11, 2006

One Year Anniversary...Somehow
"worst show ever"
(59 minutes)

A new laugh sounder has been installed. RJ Fletcher and Weird Al from UHF laugh at 'jokes'.

WCR is one year old. The show 'actually' has 37 listeners. RD and Blade suck.

Their book in progress's cover fails the Wellness Policy. (:08)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): RD drinks a lot of cow's milk because he is a calf.

Blade does a pathetic imitation of CM Punk with the "clever" name of 'Bowel Movement'. (:13) I have to keep increasing the volume when RD speaks and turn it down when Blade speaks.

Obscure Wrestling News (:17): Jeff Hardy is coming back to WWE. RD gives him six weeks. Rick Steiner is softer than Blade because of some old ring he had. Oh Christ, there's thirty-six minutes left in this show. I guess it's easier to do twice as much show when you have thirty-five shows from which to do call-backs.

Mail Bag: Chris P's question is ignored because RD is angered at the cold hard truth. (:23) I think they already answered Logan B's question about Khali and Kelly. (:26) RD throws out another dozen catch phrases.

JOHN THOMAS
DOESN'T NEED COMPUTERS

John Thomas calls. (:27) Skipping ahead. . . Eight minutes later, Blade hits the bottle because of this.

Raw sucks. RD feels dirty when he says he's watching TNA, but I guess there's nothing dirty about crap.

Oh good, the phone is ringing, so I can skip ahead. (:42) This show is still painful even without bad impersonations of Terry Funk and Dennis Stamp (don't ask).

The First Anniversary Wrestlecrap Radio Blade Braxton Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Hulk's got a bum knee.
He should've drank mommy's milk.
It does a Hulk good.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Chucky to my Cheese, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 8. Being reamed, anal cavities, Indy shows, feces, wrestling ring, a corpse, legends, wax
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. Haiti Kid
  
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Haiti Kid
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. BM Punk, John Thomas, Terry Funk, Dennis Stamp

 

• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Krankor Laughs:  2

 

• Trish Stratus References:  2

 

• Mailbag
• Chris P: Dear RD and Blade, how are you guys? I'm doing good. My question is if you had the chance to spit in one wrestler's face, who would it be? Mine would be Triple H because he is an attention whore. P.S. Blade you are like the wisecrackin' smartass version of Homer Simpson. Keep up the great work. No offense but RD your voice sounds like an 11 year old Eminem just hitting puberty on the rag. No sold.
  
• Logan B: Dear Mr. Reynolds and Mr. Brakestown, with Kelly's name being revealed as being Kelly Kelly, how long will it be until the Great Khali turns into Khali Kelly? He could strip every week and Daiviri would cover him up. This would go on until the next time Smackdown and ECW come together and Khali Kelly and Kelly Kelly would finally reunite. Maybe even include Kelly Kelly. In case you lost the question in my great idea, do you think Khali will become Khali Kelly? That's brilliant.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Hulk's got a bum knee.
  He should've drank mommy's milk.
  It does a Hulk good.

 

002 Mommy's Milk: August 19, 2005

Mommy's Milk
((( recorded in high phone-buzzing fidelity ))) (27 minutes)

RD prepares himself for the show by drinking out of his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. This does not help to improve the quality of the show though.

The Co-Hosts receive more love from Get In The Ring for their upcoming appearance.

RD needs more people for the podcast, so to bribe them to come he's going to give away the Dusty Rhodes book to people who send in Questions of the Week to them. The first question, from Crazy Rose, is read and promptly disregarded.

While wondering about potential WCR guests, Dennis Stamp is explained. Tony Atlas wanted money to appear in the WrestleCrap book.

RD: "You know, you know, you know, the, you know, I make fun of WWF, WWE for some of their gimmicks, but when you talk about like, he came up with Beaver Cleavage, you know, he's really, and you say that's you know beatin' people over the head and that's not funny but you look at it and you have like James Bond and you got like Octopussy and and you know it's like 'wha-wha-what's your name?' 'My name's Pussy Galore.' It's like, 'Oh I must be dreaming, nhmm hmm hmm hmm.'"

This year's Diva Search wasn't funny. RD says, "We didn't have anybody this year saying my ass is hungry." RD brings up the hot dog eating contest which makes Blade mention what he saw One Night In China. The winner of the Search, one Ashley Massaro, looks like she has a mustache (Their words.). This is compared to another contestant who looks like an insect and another who looks like a 70's TV character.

[Fifteen minutes in, Tee Hee Tickle Party is in full effect.]

SummerSlam will have at least some (Wrestle)Crap: the Eddie's kid on a pole match. Perhaps Hunter can adopt him.

Blade suggests that Shawn Michaels give Hulk Hogan some of mommy's milk during their match. (I'm surprised he didn't do this during his face heyday in the 80s.)

Blade then hits some 'haiku music'. RD: "Is this Hulkster milking music? Dare I even ask why you're playing this queeny music?"

First Ever WrestleCrap Haiku:
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Arthur Fonzerelli of the Wrestling World
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. People who might not like the show
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 4. The Outer Limits, Bea Arthur, Maude, Land of the Lost
• I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.

 

• Christy Hemme references:  1
• Ashley Massaro references:  8

 

• Debut: Question of the Week from: Crazy Rose 
• How on God's green earth is Steve Austin pouring a beer on himself cooler than the Sandman pouring beer on women? No sold. 

 

• Debut: Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  
  Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
  SummerSlam's big main event.
  Will Hulk's Depends leak?