299 The Angry Jerk: October 31, 2020

Happy Go fu**ck yourself-ween!

85 minutes

Blade explains numbers to RD.

Cory Udler is supposed to be in the latest Halloween movie which was delayed due to the worst serial killer of all - a pandemic. Blade meanwhile is to be filming in Nashville as a werewolf. "I'll give you some side-boob."

Blade: "I disagree with you."
RD: "Of course you do." (:11)

Mountain Dew's random new flavors are not just for Halloween. Well, yes?

Anyway that's all the grocery tripping RD has done this month, since they go straight to the gimmicks. (:14) AJ Lee Jim had sent them both some "Jerk Jerky" that the two apply loud noises to the microphone for. The effect is slow to come, much like Jim's...BBQ business. (You were expecting something else?)

For some reason Ken Patera discussion more often ensues at Current News rather than the more appropriate Obscure News. In this case he's making (Obscure) News as his used singlet for sale was deemed sexually inappropriate for Facebook. (:17) RD thinks the seller uses it as a funk sock.

Today is also Katie Vick's 21st birthday, according to Blade's ad-libbing. (:25) RD has yet to forgive Blade for involving him with her. 

Somebody found the British Bulldog's Boy of '92. In a twist he was actually a Girl (with her own action figure). RD argues with Blade over whether she flubbed her line.

It was also Bill Apter's (21st) birthday. Blade is jealous of his energy. (:33) Bill's peer Craig Peters got Gilbert Gottfried to Cameo a promo on him. Why isn't he Co-Hosssing instead?

Speaking of promos, Roddy Piper has his one against the idiots in cars. (:38)

Speaking of speeches, Patrick Stewart beams in to report that Rob Van Dam has left TNA (for Pontiac). (:40) He has to report this since Blade is too lazy and/or busy and/or incompetent to get Cory to do his Gene and Paul impression to "report" this (or perhaps he's too busy having fun away from the progrem doing actual movies). He gets possessed by Mike Check for some reason by mispronouncing Blade's name.

Patrick: "I just have two things to say to you Mr. Brakstone!...GO FU**CK YOURSELF!...And also, I'm leaving now."
...
RD: "That was random."

Blade wrote something to Mickie James on her Instagram about the Detroit Lions. This is apparently newsworthy. (:44) She also thinks Lego sets have a piece or two missing even though they don't. This is also apparently newsworthy. (:48) RD uses the excuse to make fun of her. "Thank ya," reminds Piper.

This DOES however lead to yet another bet on the Colts vs. Lions. Remember those?

Popeye interrupts a Question by Jason Farrell to inform folks that he can no longer be blown (down). (:51) For the rest of the recording he is now Politically Correct Popeye. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

What are their favorite Diva Halloween outfits? (:54) RD has the Deever (sadly not on Cameo) as Princess Leia, AJ Lee as Kitana, and Penguin Kaitlyn. Blade has Mickie James as Elektra, Mickie James as a cavewoman, and Miss Elizabeth as Jane (who according to RD was at fault for something for some reason).

Instead of telling children to take their candy back home first, Piper delights in heel trick or treating with bowling balls painted as apples. (:65)

Mike Check uses his '50% share' of the progrem (as RD Reynolds) to shout at Brad. (:66) Before he can talk about being in Sleepy Hollow's WSPK Spook 103, Popeye interrupts to object about spooks. Blade: "Maybe you can go fu**ck yourself too!" Mike responds with Bobby Pickett's Monster Rap.

RD resummons Popeye to interrupt Blade. (:72) Popeye: "Go fu**ck yerselfs!"

RD resummons Mike by declaring that he doesn't eat steak. Mike: "Go fu**ck yourselves!" Blade: "Hey, fuck you!" (My goodness, what a shock that RD missed one.)

Jim calls in to gloat now that his jerky is fully affecting them. And Patrick. And Popeye. And Mike. And retroactively Piper. And Gilbert Gottfried. And the British Bulldog Boy/Girl/Kid. And Ken Patera (he was hungry!). (:77) Man, with such strange itineraries it's a wonder how RD could write three bestselling books. Jim: "Go fu**ck yourself!" Blade: "Fu**ck you Jim!"

Seventeen Syllables Now:
It's the Halloween show.
That was some bad tasting jerky.
Go fu**ck yourself RD! 

RD: "Blade Braxton, go fu**ck yourself!"

$0.50: $33.00 plus that $19.99 Go Fuck Yourself (Rated AO no doubt.)

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Rupert’s Kids Arcade (Re-opening), Skyline Drive In, wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmallow, Patreon
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Things you may wear around the house if you get too drunk, people on cocaine, Detroit Lions, Halloween.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Stewart Patrick, Popeye, Mike Check, Popeye (2), Popeye (3), Mike Check (2), Jim.

 

• Fu**ck Bombs: 11. Stewart Patrick, Gilbert Gottfried, Mike Check, Blade, Popeye, Mike Check (2), Blade (2), Jim, Blade (3), Blade (4), RD.

  

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WSPK Spook 103 (Sleepy Hollow)
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  “Monster Rap” by Bobby Pickett
  

• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 3
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Jason Farrell
  
• Scarier sight, Hulk Hogan being double humped by Yeti and The Giant or Uncle Eric as Count (Censored)? None given, interrupted by debuting PC Popeye.

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Favorite Diva Halloween outfits of all time?
• RD:  Deever as Princess Leia, AJ Lee as Kitana, Kaitlyn as a penguin (non-sequentially)
• Blade:  Ms. Elizabeth as Jane, Mickie James as Cavewoman, Mickie James as Elektra

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Half-hearted attempt this week:
  It's the Halloween show.
  That was some bad tasting jerky.
  Go fu**ck yourself RD!
  

♪Gooker-Gooker Time is Here.♪

Oh joy. My honest opinion, and this is my opinion since this is Raging_Demons here kiddies, is that this time of the year we should get The Chipmunks to sing us a song about this oh so joyous occasion.

What occasion you say?

Well first of all if your saying anything while reading this blog post you must have some sort of mental condition but enough of that you geeks, nerds, and poindexters. We are talking about...

The 2014 Gooker Nominations are out! Wrestlecrap.com's widely known recognizable reward for the worst in wrestling for angles/storylines/feuds or what now. RSPW? Nope. Dave Meltzer? Dave Meltzer probably not talking about carnie hating twins (or something like that?) Its The Gooker.

So what did 2014 stink up this time around? Here are YOUR Nominations.

1. The Summer Rae/Layla/Fandango Love Triangle of Indifference: Once upon a time not so long ago Fandango was huge! Fandago debuted with a win over Chris Jericho on a Wrestlemania, he was a meme, I mean he was big! Gabby Hayes big! Put him with an Un-Diva named Layla & a piece of plastic and you got crap.

2. Adam Rose vs The Bunny: Remember when we thought we liked Adam Rose, then we hated him because he stole The Midnight Rose's gimmick, then some dude in a Bunny costume got more famous than him (rumor that its the same Bunny that competed in the APA Bar Room Brawl is still inconclusive). Now we have Adam Rose feuding with The Bunny and nobody cares.

3. Return of The RAW Co-Hosts: Grumpy Cat? Hota & Kathy Lee? Yeah I'll pass.

4. "The Stalker" Sam Shaw: Stalker gimmicks are never good. Go ask Barry Windham or DDP about that. Now rookie Sam Shaw becomes the new stalker and takes things way creepy. Hell I had fun with that gimmick with Sam Shaw over on Twitter and it was no bueno.

5. Bella vs Bella: My personal choice there. The Bella's are probably the worse Divas ever in WWE. They can't wrestle & now they prove they can't act by doing this nonsensical feud as filler until Daniel Bryan comes back. Once again WWE proves that if a woman goes down on her knees no matter how awful a performer you are (yes I'm taking to you Nikki Bella) you will get a push from hell!

6. Vince McMahon's Live Interview on "The Steve Austin Podcast": This one interview, at the time a cross-promotional stunt for "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's podcast & the WWE Network proved to literally destroy the roster from an emotional standpoint how Vince sees his stars. If you think I'm wrong go listen to it yourself.

7. How the 2014 Royal Rumble was booked: Daniel Bryan not in the main event? A returning Batista winning The Royal Rumble Match?



Yeah...

8. The Menagerie: Take former "Aces & 8s" member Knux, add Christy Hemme's best friend Rebel, throw in Rob Terry in a mask & a crazy clown named "Crazzy Steve" (because you can't be crazy without saying he's "Crazy" or have 2 z's in your name I guess) & you got...a lot of shots of Rebel in jean shorts.

9. Jeff Hardy as "Willow": Jeff Hardy re-packages himself as some guy in a mask with a thing for umbrellas & jibberish.

10. The Return Of Claire Lynch!: Claire Lynch was so popular, I mean it did win the 2012 Gooker, for being so horrible WWE decided to rip that off for The Authority's feud with Daniel Bryan last year. Not only that was such a bad idea but when that happened "Claire Lynch" was trending again on Twitter due to the fact that WWE copied it!


There you go. 10 piles of fecal matter. Which one deserves The Gooker? Click on the link to voice your opinion.

Episode 21: Three Little Words: October 1, 2013

Angry RD (the exclamation
point makes it so.)

37 minutes

(The part of "guest recapper" will be tonight played by R.V.M Kai & R.V.M Kai.)

RD is upset that his Cincinnati Reds didn't make the playoffs and it now seems that the part of "Angry Jim" will be now played by "Angry RD" (sans the fetish for bald women and pulling his pork with Hollywood John). Blade segues an attempt to cheer up RD by getting him to watch a video of "The Baseball Bunch" that involves a cameo by The Kool-Aid Man. (:03) [Oh yeah, Gary Carter is in this? Why on earth haven't I seen this yet??? - PB]

SPEAKING OF "water", Blade somehow attempts another segue by relating the "water" in Kool-Aid to Trish Stratus' "water" breaking (...and you know what that means...?). RD doesn't like Patty's new son's name as much as her changing from blonde to brunette. (:08) Sad News: Blade has only seen Batman Returns once. Blade is also sad that Mickie James is apparently leaving TNA and is now moving on to greener pastures with her band at the World Chicken Festival, which would probably attract a larger audience than TNA's usual fare. (:15)

Blade: "You can't trust what I think these days."
RD: "These days, you say."

They talk about Goldust donning a hood and light-saber at an independent promotion somewhere in Illinois under a new gimmick of "Lord Goldie Goldust". (:21) The mention of Primo & Epico re-debuting as masked tag-team "Los Matadores" leads to RD bringing up "Zorro: The Gay Blade"...which is a joke that writes itself. (:27)

Blade still has a R2D2 cookie (amongst many other ancient food items) that has been in stored away his parent's deep freezer since 1987 and also announces that he will be selling that infamous "Alien Ham". Fascinating. (:32)

RD: "I have three words for you: See ya later!"

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Cincinnati Reds, The Baseball Bunch
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Chicken, good times, good times
  
• I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. RD’s brother’s horse

 

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Johnny Bench, Graig Nettles, Gary Carter, Kool-Aid Man

 

• Blade Time Outs:  6
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Whoa, whoa, whoa)

193 Phoned In: February 11, 2011

70 minutes

This is essentially the equivalent of a slow news day, so in inspiration from my predecessor's earlier writs let's just cut to the chase and not dally too much. You have more important things to attend to today rather than just reading this, I'm sure. [And here I thought I was the only one who phoned things in around here - Clarence]

RD lost his bet so he has to read submissions next time. Lesson learned: don't bet on the Pro Bowl.

This is a real poster made by Hollywood(?).
Update 3/17: Already on Netflix!

RD was lazy (actual excuse: he was away for business), so in lieu of writing something for the site he has his first premeditated/premonitioned/prehumous/future induct of The Chaperone, literally copied from a post of forum member Bone Machine of F4WOnline (presumably with his permission of course.)

[Update 2/20: Apparently the movie did so bad it didn't even chart on the weekend's box office results.]

[Update to the Update 3/1: Apparently the film grossed less money than the asking price on a used Plymouth Horizon, but that's 'OK' because it allows Wal-Mart to sell their DVDs...] 

:13 Someone is auctioning a UWF/Mid-South ring. (Standing price at time of writing: $3700) Jim Ross is not happy.  Or perhaps he's not happy at The Chaperone? Or perhaps he wants to make his own Clerks movie? Or perhaps he wants to slap a Jap? He makes no sense. (This is a habit of his.)

:24 RD went back to the Netherlands for business and had strange Doritos flavors - Cool American, Japanese Teriyaki, BBQ Ham. His review of "The Mexican" Restaurant - terrible food at a terrible price. Blade's horrible John Travolta impression tries some Pizza Supreme Doritos. He does not like them.

:36 Hulk Hogan is reduced to shilling some cleaning product. You can use it to remove blood stains from your shirt, so keep that in mind the next time you plan to murder someone.

Sad News: Matt Hardy's new girlfriend is that Giants girl. Blade is not afraid.

The Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness (2) will be in a benefit appearance in Topeka.

Question (:47): Derek Quinn of the Powerhouse of Sound DJ Service remembers the 10 Year anniversary of Big Show beating RD up that one time.

:51 As expected the Mailman isn't here (he was caught in the snow). He did however deliver the news on Blade's 'answering machine', which has Kevin Nash leaving TNA for WWE again...more than three weeks ago. They're also selling Virgil's stamp, which is larger than normal due to his penis. The message 'cuts' off just before he can tell a fanfic-style story of said penis. That's Alec's gimmick, you know.

:57 The 40-man Royal Rumble was no good, so much so that some caller named "Stu Hart", apparently back from the dead, calls out his son Smith. Popeye likes what he hears. "What has this show become?" RD asks. "How?" Chief Jay calls in response.

Apologize with Seventeen Syllables:
Chief Jay, Honky, Stu,
Gay Popeye too: this show sucks.
Why do you listen?

$5.25 (Total: $17.50)

RD's Gift To Blade 2010

13 minutes

Not an actual episode per se (considering the other episode is over 12 hours long). Instead this is the full audio recording of RD's gift to Blade, courtesy of That's Me Sports.

Amidst some heartfelt but lightly funny commentary from our two over excited commentators (one of whom sounds like Terry Bradshaw), the rookie QB Blade Braxton has done what looked to be impossible; he has led his Detroit Lions to the Superbowl against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Even more shockingly, the game is being played at home. (They don't say where, but my money would probably be on the Silverdome) And even more even more shockingly, he is described as a 'leader in the community'. I wonder if that's leading by being drunk (but only through Miller Lites and V8s)

Down by 5 with two minutes to go in the fourth quarter, the Brakestown successfully gets the 1st Down. However, an attempt at a thrown touchdown is thwarted when official Seymour Plays reviews it as incomplete. But with dramatic music at the ready, he successfully catches the ball deflected in the air, and then ultimately succeeds in getting the winning TD and winning an NFL championship for Hockeytown. He is even congratulated by the Steelers! (Which doesn't make much sense at first, but then you DO remember that Ben-R would probably congratulate him by flirting with him. Hey, you never know!) [You know suddenly I have this nightmare of this audio recording only with Gay Popeye as the star - Clarence]

In any case, I wonder what might happen if RD sends another of these gifts to him. Will he now be Captain of the Detroit Red Wings, playing once more against strong rivals Pittsburgh Penguins in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals in the Joe Louis Arena? I'd pay good money to hear that.

(999) PSA: June 4, 2010

72 seconds

Watch the WCR Roast Trailer.














That is all.














No really, that's it.




























I'm serious.














For once.














What were you expecting, something funny?














On this show?














I mean, how long have you been listening to this radio progrem?














You're not one of these mysteriously 'new' listeners that Blade's been going on about of late, are you?














If you are, why are you even here? You're at the wrong place buddy, I'd say to start from the (long, long, long ago) beginning.














Still here? Can't seem to be energetic enough to go all the way back? Yeah, I don't really blame you for that.














Well, in the meantime, I should at least give you something or other. I don't think I would make a good host if I neglected my guests.














Besides, I'm bound to be more entertaining than anything the Co-Fruitcakes might do on their show.














Hmmm...














Nah, I'm at a loss right now.














Damn.














Here, tide yourself over with this strangely funny painting of Horatio Caine in Power Armour:

Bah, the things I have to do around here...

173 The Mickie James Tribute Half-Hour: April 25, 2010

35 minutes

Normally there would be no progrem this week, RD is a very busy man after all. However, the future endeavoring of one Alexis Laree AKA Mickie James is enough for him to call an Emergency Session of WCR, and you know it's important enough that Blade returns to his Overnight Jazz headphones.

In the most talk about wrestling we've had in close to two years, the Co-Fruitcakes reminisce about WCR's Patron Mascot (she's a Centaur, remember?). Blade remembers his first ever mention of her in relation to Matt Hardy, his infatuation with her tail lifting based on his arousal by some random woman from some obscure 90's TV show, and her love of horse riding on farms. Plus, this photo. And so he is mandated to sing some soul to her at the end of the show.

Also Angry Marks has some new ad copy (:06) Unfortunately I'm in no mood to register WCRTrendingTopics.com. I'm sure my friends Clarence Mason and Erik Majorwitz might want to though...[A lawyer PAYING for something? Are you nuts? - "Showstealer"]

- Premier "V For Victory" Blah

[My gracious regards to Steveweiser for a clarification on her names.]

150 The Call-In: July 17, 2009

80 minutes

RD plays random ZZ Top songs for them being on RAW next week. Blade wants Vince to listen to the Human League. RD prefers Asia. They then discuss some more random time-wasters. Like this show? Blade thinks the show is a good middle finger to any person who likes good taste, i.e. everybody else. RD thinks the show has 1800 listeners, give or take a few thousand.

The phone rings as Global Internet's Greg finally makes good on his desire to call in to set these two fools straight. (:12) He disclaims a few things, including all those sexual allegations and the fact that he doesn't wear a yellow jumpsuit like Gilbert Lowell. Blade still thinks their sites can give you good chances with strippers though.

RD has an idea for the TRIP by taking a celebrity with him every week on the air. (:17) His first guest for this week is the Zombie. Yes, the former ECW wrestler, finally appearing on this show after that no-go with their first interview many years before. He still uses an old Walkman with Whitesnake tapes and thinks Missy Hyatt is working at the grocery late at night giving him dirty looks. Blade unintentionally insults him by asking about Doritos. No cereal for him though. He can also be found here and here.

The phone rings again for BM Punk. (:31) He gives his usual spiel. RD thinks of him as their 'first' repeat guest (I thought it was John Thomas), but he has 'better' distractions than him though.

Like THIS man, Sir Alec. (:34) He's still evasive about Mike Check, knowing the true story that he faked his own death to work on another radio station. Today's story is about...RD and Blade? The Co-Fruitcakes manage to shut him down but can't stop his usual cheering audience. In response an interested Gay Popeye calls in. His call, summarized: Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk! (:42)

Jim Ross calls in, as jovial as ever. (:44) He still likes ZZ Top. That's all the Obscure News we'll get too, shoved up our fucking asses.

Today's Question. (:50) RD still pronounces Ed Salo's name wrong. (4) He also reads his question wrong, which is about the WCR Curse. Blade remembers referencing Michael Jackson a few weeks before. And at risk Joyce DeWitt has a scary mugshot. RD: "What a mess this show has been!"

In response to talking about TNA reporting, RD's Dixie Carter impression calls in and makes a randy Blade laugh hysterically. Sugar. (:56) He needs to work on her Nathaniel-style laughter though.

In response to THAT Peter Gazer and his fancy music call in. (:61) He didn't 'kill' Mike Check either, although he's happy to see him gone. It's also happy for his birthday on the day as he takes a shot on the air (as far as we know). His drunkenness eclipses even Blade, the man notes, most possibly preparing for his own next drunken attempt. An again interested Gay Popeye tries calling in again. (:69) His call, summarized: Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk!

Why can't more women look like this?
No snark this time, this is a serious wondering.
(For once.)

Thankfully that nonsense is brought out of the way by Stubby calling in (or pretending to call, he is a ventriloquist dummy after all). (:72) He spends his time making fun of Mrs Deal. He's also inherited Blade's love of Mickie James, this week in some sort of Raquel Welch-cavewoman bikini. I'm glad he didn't call his penis a mammoth tusk.

RD: "I like how there's been nothing on this show. It's kind of the epiphany of the last 150 shows all rolled into one big pile of nonsense."

Seventeen Syllables of Goodness:
Hundred-fifty shows.
Thousand-fifty references
to Mickie James' ass.

Video: The Zombie's Trip to the Grocery!

132 Sad Boys: January 16, 2009

66 minutes
"the saddest darkest WrestleCrap Radio ever"

MontalBBBAAANNN!!!

Sad News: the passing of beloved actor Ricardo Montalban, of Khan Noonien Singh and Fantasy (Booking) Island (and one uncredited voicing of Claudius in MST3K's Hamlet). RD suggests not listening to this week's depressing episode and is nostalgic for the good old days of the Tee Hee Tickle Party. (:03) On the other hand, he DID once want a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (according to Iggy), so this could all be just another gimmick in an attempt to raise ratings. Next you'll tell me someone's been raped.

Sad News: Blade was at a strip club but Don Mason was not. (:05) RD gets through his sponsors in (monotone) record time as Blade stifles his 'laughter'. In a much more serious and darker note, Blade is not doing good either with his incurred debts and his mother sadly passing away before Christmas, and to alleviate his situation he is auctioning some of his stuff online, which includes some Katie Vick props (which can be found on his inspired eBay user name Hobo Auctions).

RD's TRIP to the Sad News. (:12) RD turned 40 and is probably feeling the first effects of a mid-life crisis, which he found from his celebrations which involved him driving an hour to a Denny's-like restaurant. Sad News: a drunk Don Mason once urinated on a cripple. (More Sad News: Blade was actually standing up for him at the time.)

Obscure Sad News (:23): WWE cut 90% of their staff and 85% of their roster which included Val Venis/Sean Morley, Sgt. Slaughter, D-Lo Brown (RD likens him to Nathaniel), and Ron Simmons. Blade does a bad Butch Reed impression. A WrestleCrap Goth Carnival is mentioned, but sadly nothing is said about kicking a leather-clad white face-painted Vincent in the balls.

Dr. Death Steve Williams is now working for Southwest (:33). Angry Jim Ross calls to discuss it. He also sings Happy Birthday to RD, and is rewarded by being angered off the air when RD calls him out on how he treats his hard working employee.

Question of the Week from the Engineer, the "only happy thing this week" (:40) asks what other career opportunities Mickie James would have if she left WWE. Speaking of Mickie James, the HorseTrolla also has Sad News (:46) - she was in a car accident. Thankfully she's alright.

The MegaTrollaTron 7800 didn't watch TNA again this week, he was also too depressed while looking for the Allspark. Sure enough, more Sad News: "Optimus Prime is a son of a bitch," he reports.

Current News finally has music, (:55) but that's the only good news we get. Sad News: The Duo's favorite pizza-making Diva Victoria is fully retiring from wrestling. The Co-Hosts reminisce of her baby kissing days. Sad News: Cousin Junior has passed away. (:61)

Seventeen Syllables:
Dark day in Mud Lick.
Cousin Junior is now gone.
Tears in my moonshine.

[I wonder though. If this week was so depressing why didn't they just skip recording for this week and pick it up again next week like they did a few times before? Quite odd...]

[Schadenfreude. I think it's the reason I like WrestleCrap in the first place. --iggy]

116 The Purge Continues: August 22, 2008

WWE's Purge Continues
(74 minutes)

This week's Induction: Jillian Hall's mole. It Came From YouTube: Snitsky's incomprehensible Amsterdam phonebook commercial. Someone Bought This: Nunzio Elf Costume... "signed" in BLOCK LETTERS, as mentioned before. Click here to bid on the part of Regal's suit that was ripped by Jamie Noble and can't be used again.

The show opens with Blade thanking people for synching the interactive parts of WCRadio to video on YouTube, like last week's Tarzan Boy, which was created by Forgotten Sin. RD suggests that this site you're reading right now can be "a little critical" (:03).

Raw beat Monday Night Football last week, which would be impressive if this was before the year 2000 and if it wasn't a mid-August pre-season game (:05). Blade threatens to write ad copy for Angry Marks (:11).

RD met Kofi Kingston and Victoria last Friday night (:13). Victoria talked about custom cycles and Kofi signed RD's BW3 menu that lists the Caribbean Jerk Sauce (:19).

RD's Trip to The Mini-Golf Mini-Park: Titanic redemption machine (:23).

Sad News: Highlanders released (:27).

Obscure Wrestling News: RD doesn't get Umaga, (:29) who has gone into "FATAL ERROR" business with Charlie and Jackie Haas (:32). Brian Christopher was kicked out of rehab (:35). Horsetrolla: Lillian Garcia is 42 (:37).

Sad News: Colin Delaney released (:40). Tony Atlas "rocked" a sleeveless shirt this week (:42).

Question of the Week from Premier Blah (2): The Blade Hits the Bottle music is discussed [and the segment actually gets an answer, from me no less. PB] (:45).

Sad News: Stevie Richards released and for once, it truly is sad (:50). TNA should hire him and cut Scott Steiner. TNA Peter Gazer no-shows for the third time in four weeks.

Dream Analysis: Blade dreams of Neve Campbell getting sexually assaulted by an assassinated Vince McMahon (:59).

Sad News: Cherry released (:64).

In regards to the "Championship Scramble," RD correctly comments, "what a stupid match that is" (:70). Make that two matches. [...three. Maybe the creative team has been suspended for 30 days. --ed.]

Seventeen Syllables About One of My Favorite Nitro Girls of All Time:
Whisper's big fat lip.
She's had fat lips ever since
she had Shawn's love spawn.

115 Purge Roulette: August 15, 2008

WWE Purge Roulette
(88 minutes)

Can you term calling into the show 'crashing'?

The bizarro Lost Episode has been posted in celebration of the third anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. Poor old Glen Jacobs is the subject of another induction, Fake Kane. This one puts him in the Five Timers Club with Hulk Hogan, Sting, Jake the Snake, and the Ultimate Warrior.

The show has a new sponsor, the HOTT line (:12).

Sad News: Nick Patrick was released (:18).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Blade got sick from blue milk (:24). RD implies he could replace Blade with knock knock jokes printed on Pop Tarts (:27).

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade wants bignippledvampire.com for Xmas. She'll be on this fall's America's Sex Symbol (:31). Trevor Murdoch changed his name to Trevor Murdock after being released by WWE (:36). Ashley Massaro will return to stripping. Blade asks, "What is that phrase where you know like you never stray too far from something?" (:39) I think it's "You can't go home again." [Wasn't it "how the mighty have fallen?" - PB] Blade forgot his Myspace log-in (:40). Matt Morgan will have his DNA sent into space (:44), presumably so that aliens can produce an army of stuttering clones to conquer Earth. RD and Blade will be in a comic book (:45).

Sad News: Nunzio was released (:48), and Braden Walker (:51), and Shannon Moore (:53). WWE should announce the next batch of releases during Raw like draft picks. Question of the Week from Terry Brass: Blade's beard makes noise (:55). TNA correspondent Peter Gazer exists (:60). Unfortunately, this dusty character stopped being edgy twenty years ago.

Sad News: Domino released (:71). RD YouTubes Tarzan boy (:73). Randy Orton estimates he bounced and rolled off his motorcycle for the length of a football field (:78). (Big Daddy) Viscera released and made to be a cannibal (:80).

SummerSlam is this Sunday and here's RD and Blade's entire discussion about it: (crickets).

Third Anniversary Haiku:
We've made it three years--
The age kids get potty trained.
We'll still piss our pants.

101 Celebra-neigh-tion: April 25, 2008

Behold! Ghetto Amusement Park "He-Man"...

Celebra-neigh-tion, Disneyland, Johnny Sixplodes
(81 minutes)

Kool and the Gang opens the show with a horsetastic Celebration as Mickie James has been your new WWE Women's Champion for eleven days. This is the third April in a row that she has won the belt.

RD and family went to Disneyland (:10). Blade tells of his ghetto unsafe amusement park trip to see He-Man and Skeletor (:13). Tour guides of Disney's Jungle Cruise tell the same jokes every time, much like this radio progrem (:19).

Blade hit the bottle in celebration since April 14 (:21). He drinks some Miller Lite and V8. While in California, RD passed a Carl's Jr and noticed an ad for Cap'n Crunch Milkshake (:27). A regular-sized Carl's Jr Cap 'n Crunch shake provides 120% of your daily saturated fat needs.

...Skeletor...

Blade passed a tractor-trailer on the highway whose art advertised Fruit Stripe gum (:33). Blade wonders, what are the odds? Well, the parent company owns ninety trucks.

Faxtrolla: The Ultimate Warrior versus Orlando Jordan (:36). The plumbing at the new arena of WWE's sole farm promotion, Florida Champsionship Wrestling, wasn't finished on schedule. Some crazy rumor has it that Piper said he was asked by the WWE to be in an MMA match before this year's Summer Olympics in Beijing.

Question of the Week: David has a wet nightmare about Ashley Massaro (:49). In response Blade gets into some Dream Analysis: he dreamt of Superstar Billy Graham and the Rods (:53). Johnny Six karaokes Chaka Khan's tune, "I Feel For You," because TNA's Rhaka Khan had other people autograph her trading cards (:62). Blade implores Johnny to sing the intro to the song, and Johnny explodes, with the old dynamite sound effect. Johnny Six is dead (:68). RD's reaction to this is to just...remark on how some DJ Quext of Myspace wants Blade's singing skillz. He is barely affected AT ALL by any side-effects of an explosion; be it the deafening from the noise, shrapnel from the metal hitting him or the Trollas, or even having some comedic black soot on him. He's just worried about who will clean his house now. Is B.M. Punk available?

...And Man-At-Arms!

Mike Adamle has been banished to ECW's announce table next to Taz (:72). RD has wisely chosen to not choose any of the presidential candidates who appeared on Raw this week (:76). It was an embarrassment to the nation. Nader gets my vote again, by default, again. [Oops, I forgot and voted for Obama. --Iggy 09jan16]

Seventeen Syllables of an Exciting Haiku:
Barack is cookin'--
Cookin' a segment more rank
than Hillary's crotch.

089 Easy for a Listener to resist: January 4, 2008

Hooray For "Khali" Claus!

Easy for a Listener to resist
(78 minutes)

It's a new year. Time for weight-loss resolutions and fresh starts and Blade's "Big Announcement", which he announces that he cannot announce until a date that has yet to be announced. (:13) Johnny 6 doesn't care, he's still Blade's enemy: "Fuck. You. Braxton. ... I. Will. Kick. Your. Ass." he threatens. Big Daddy V in HD. Hurray for Khali Claus. (:19)

The WrestleCrap Book of Lists has hit #1 in wrestling books on Amazon. On March 31, 2008, it was #4, The Death of WCW was #52, and WrestleCrap was #82. However, THE DUSTY RHODES BOOK WAS #37. [On April 4, 2009, the Book of Lists was #5, Death of WCW was #19, WC was #57, Dusty was #87, and the overall rank for the Book of Lists was #41,723. Nobody ever said wrestling fans can read. --Iggy]

RD asks Blade what celebrity he resembles. Bill Cosby-ness.

Obscure Wrestling News (:25): The Mountie got married in a wrestling ring. Torrie Wilson has opened a clothing store, assuming her site actually works. (:30) Lacey Von Erich's daughter was released from a WWE developmental contract. (:35) The Lions suck. Joanie Laurer is now stuck on Celebrity Rehab. Christy Hemme has a new band: the world's nerdiest bowling team. (:41)

For no particular reason RD wants to listen to their first episode again. He barely lasts a minute before he can take no more and cuts it off. (:48)

Question of the Week from Primetime (:51): Could New Jack work as a wrestling analyst? RD wants him to talk about the Deever and her blackface figure.

After WSX folded, RD was ready to walk away from wrestling. But now, there's WWE 24/7. Blade and RD discuss the first Prime Time Wrestling show, from 1985. (:56)

RD announces the 'existence' of The Crappy Awards. They are scheduled to be handed out, on February 1.

The WWE Gooker nominees are discussed: (:63) Hornswoggle as Vince's son, Rosie vs. Donald (where the fans chanted "TNA" during the match), ECW Champion Vince McMahon, The Diva Search (again), and John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

Johnny 6 'apologizes' to Blade; "I. Am Sorry. Too. Bitch," before he gives the TNA nominees: Eric. Young. Versus. Robert. Roode., Pac. Man. Jones., Stomper. The. Kangaroo., Black. Reign., and T. N. A. Blindfold. Steel. Cage. Match.

Seventeen Syllables We Call The Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
It is Gooker time.
Lots of shitty nominees.
No Dubya S X.

082 The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour: November 2, 2007

The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour
(58 minutes)

With a face like that, how could you
not forget remember her?

Sad News opens the show: Anonymous Brooke was fired due to frequented blamings from RD and Blade. The Co-Hosts compare her to Lord Alfred. (:09)

Blade met Coach at a bar once. (:14) Could Mickie James be the next Tatanka (Buffalo)? RD takes Ricola for the throat.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): WWE stars, and former star Booker T, will be on Family Feud. A wrestler is hosting some show named Trick My Trucker. (:25) Mr Big Wrestling will hold an event in which the ECW Zombie will face the Sandman. Some nonsense or other on Nicole Bass.

Question of the Week from Ani (:33): The sun will come out tomorrow. Wrestling Impressions.

Umaga, the Candyman. (:43) Mickie James with Trevor Murdock makes Blade frustrated. A Diva Battle Royale took place, or at least an aborted attempt of one. Nunzio took kids trick or treating back stage of ECW. Balls lives in a pen. (:51) Walter Concrete. "This show? Terrible."

Seventeen Syllable Prescription:
Anonymous Brooke.
Is it the 1st or 15th?
She's now Welfare Brooke.

072 Celebrity Call-In Craptacular: August 10, 2007

Two Year Birthday Party Call-In
(99 minutes)

Second anniversary of the progrem and Blade has lined up three legitimate guests. Sad News: RD is unable to get a hold of Mr. Rourke and Tattoo. RD's neighbor Steve has heard the show and disliked Blade's reliance on swear words. Blade 'apologizes'. It's nice to see him stereotype himself in such a manner.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kellogg's Cereal Straws. The first trip of this progrem was to the library.

Blade went to a TNA house show in Kansas City and sat near Terry Taylor. He also took a picture of Kurt Angle. "He probably thought I was an alcoholic hobo." (:16)

Clocktrolla: 10124 days. (:20)

A naked Brother Midnight calls. (:26)

Question of the Week from Thorn, though not necessarily a vampire named Kevin. (:42) Chuck Palumbo, one more wrestling biker.

GLOW wrestler Hollywood calls. Moisturizers are discussed. (:46)

Obscure Wrestling News (:62): WWE signed Lacey Von Erich to a developmental contract [which lasts until December]. A Diva Search contestant named Louise Glover thanked Bistro rather than Batista. (:65) Rowdy Roddy Piper will be a GI Joe. After twenty-two years, Cobra has found someone to combat Sgt Slaughter. RD is prophetic for a live action movie. [though sadly he doesn't predict that Destro will be played by the Ninth Doctor. - Future PB]

Ring announcer Fabian Kailen from WSX calls. He's as explosive as the ones on his show. (:69)

WWE Dating Game. (:84) Regal's hair is great. Santino Marella, the spicy meatball. (:87) Supermarket Sweep. Let's Make a Real Deal. (:89) Blade and RD suggest that a midget could play Vince McMahon's seven-year-old son.

This Week's Haiku:
Vince got him some strange.
Thanks to his cheating, now we
get Lance Von McMahon.

WrestleCrap Radio: "Making handfuls of people laugh for two years."

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Happy to my Birthday, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
• URLs not taken: 2. GLOWandGerbils.com, GerbilsandJergens.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Hideous 70s references, fine products from the Trolla Corporation, things comprised of plastic, Let’s Make a Deal
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 5. Ricardo Montalban, Sheena Easton, Hollywood Squares, Supermarket Sweep, Let’s Make a Deal
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Brother Midnight, Hollywood, Fabian Kailen
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade

• Krankor Laughs: 2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
• Cricket Chirps: 1
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
• Brother Midnight's Babies: 118
• Wearing Pants: 0
• WSXplosions: 4
  

 

• Trish Stratus References: 2

• Question of the Week from: Thorn
  
• Mr. Deal and the Richard Grieco to my Johnny Depp, Blade Braxton, my question's regarding one Chuck Palumbo. First, how many damn bikers have there been in WWF/E? I mean for every Underbiker that actually got over there seems to be a dozen Skulls or Eight-Balls. When are they going to learn that we could care less unless you team him up with Tatanka and the Big Bossman, find a construction worker, and have the Disco Inferno teach them some moves? My other question regarding Chucky P is this: what is the over/under on how long it will take him to be repackaged yet again as another one of Vince's pet gimmicks? My money is on muscley guy in a dress. No sold.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Vince got him some strange.
  Thanks to his cheating, now we
  get Lance Von McMahon.

 

044 What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?: November 3, 2006

What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?
(80 minutes)

Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.

Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.

In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.

SERVED IN VIETNAM AT THE AGE OF -8

Obscure Wrestling News (:41): 30000 dumb people have bought Brooke Hogan's CD. Egomania is heritable. Among their releases (:47) WWE will release a Rey Mysterio Jr DVD called the Biggest Little Man. WWE will release a Wrestling's Greatest Families DVD. Vampiro will release a DVD about Vampiro.  [... in Canada.]

Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)

RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.

Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)

Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)

Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Mike Von Erich to my Fritz Von Erich, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Madison Carter
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 7. Websites hosted by Global Internet, awesome guys, you being the man, wetting yourselves in joy, insecure, that, Hulk Hogan’s money
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. E.T. The Extraterrestrial on the Atari 2600
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jed Shaffer, Corporal Kirchner

 

• F-Bombs: 4. Blade (3), Corporal Kirchner

 

• RD Time Outs: 1
• Krankor Laughs: 1

• Mailbag
• Daisy Tweeter: Hello RD and Blade, WrestleCrap Radio Listener #25 here. My question is: since Batista is known as the Animal, and is currently doinking Rebecca DiPietro, does that mean she is in Batistiality? No need to answer.
  
• Zack Gator: Should Vickie Guerrero be the next WWE Diva to do Playboy? Blade subscribes to Plump magazine.
  
• James from Kentucky: Do you have Vince McMahon's home number? Because I keep phoning his office and he doesn't return my calls. P.S. could you say hi to my friend Alex in Puerto Rico? Hello Alex.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku: Corporal Kirchner fills in after murdering Sergeant Haiku Blade.
  I'm Corporal Kirchner.
  I'm fucking alive, not dead.
  My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.
  

041 Release The Boogeyman!: September 22, 2006

Boogeyman Released
(54 minutes)

Sad News: Boogeyman fired.

Have your friends over for breakfast.

Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:09): Good Friends cereal sucks. Blade eats granola, flakes, and twigs in "fun dildo shapes the kids will enjoy."

Obscure Wrestling News (:17): RVD's comic book store closed. Kamala will sing at an event. WWE is suing rapper The Game for supposedly infringing on Sean Michael's name. Blade is reminded of porn star Sean Michaels, of Sean Bond fame. That is, if he can escape from his pit that is affecting his audio quality.
 
Mail Bag (:26): OT (2) questions technicalities. Aaron informs us that John Thomas and BM Punk now have Myspace pages too. (:30) "Maybe RD Reynolds wouldn't" let Iron Sheik humble him in the old country way. RD and Trash Losagain once met a drunk off his ass Sheik at WrestleMania VIII. Repo Man Barry Darsow was not the first wrestling repo man, according to Hobo Diablo. (:34)

WWE hired Brad Armstrong, among other old guys. (:36) Too Cold Scorpio has a big penis, "big and round as a dinner plate." (:39) WrestleCrap.com will not update in October so that Blade and RD can write more of the book. Blade hits the bottle out of happiness because Vince Russo is coming to TNA, which may be going head to head against Raw. (:47)

Seventeen Syllable Tribute to Our Good, Our Now Departed Friend, The Boogeyman.
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The ying to my yang and the Ko to my Tex, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Wizard of Oz Museum, Toto’s Tacos
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Riots, our good old friends on MySpace, Repo Man, transsexual dinosaurs
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. MySpace
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2

 

• Mailbag
• OT (2): On last week's radio show during the talk of Krypto, Blade went to call him a son of a bitch but he stopped himself to keep from swearing. However, he brings up a good point here. Since Krypto is a male dog, he would technically be a son of a bitch. So my question to you is would you allow Blade to refer to Krypto as a son of a bitch this week to make up for stopping himself last week? RJ Fletcher: Yes.
  
• Aaron: Dear RD and Mr. Brakestown, if the Iron Sheik offered to humble you in the old country way or any other way for free, wouldn't cost you a dime, would you let him? Trash Losagain might.
  
• Hobo Diablo: Dear radio hosts extraordinaire, this week I was evicted from my home. When the repo man came, he looked nothing like Barry Darsow, having neither the Lone Ranger mask or the rope. Was he an imposter and have I been duped? Was he instead Nasty Ned Brady?
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  He's the Boogeyman.
  And he's...coming to get his
  unemployment check.

 

032 An angle on Angle: June 30, 2006

Ode to Kurt Angle
(45 minutes)

Blade promises the ECW Zombie will be on next week's show. RD promises the return of the Mailbag on next week's show. They are not related.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:06) has been voted the most popular segment on this wrestling podcast. Superman has been invading the grocery of late.

Obscure Wrestling News: Kurrgan is going to be in a movie (300). (:11) Jake Roberts caught a 45-pound fish. (:14)

Sad News: The Pirate was fired because McMahon is behind the times. (:20) Even more Sad News: The Diva Search 3 has begun. (:25) SPEAKING OF bitches RD and Blade discuss their favorite animals in the WWF. WWE loves poop and male ass. ECW's Kelly strips every week down to the same bra that she can't seem to get open. (:30) RD thinks they should get a male stripping Kelly to hook in confused people.

Arrr! 'is ship 'as sailed.

RD tries some wrestling analysis and Blade gets bored. (:32) The majority seems to think RD gushes over Kurt Angle. [Which is certainly NOT going to be ironic in the next few years... - Future PB]

First Ever WrestleCrap Tanka:
Kelly's Expose.
The only thing that's been ex-
posed is the simple
fact that Mr. Laurinai-
tis sucks as a talent scout.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Pasta to my Mania, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 9. Shows that have lots of poop, going to the grocery, good times (2), people I miss, Pirates of the Caribbean, where RD’s other hand at, brilliant (2)
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 7. Don Knotts, Good Times, Don Knotts (2), Bea Arthur, ZZ Top, Christopher Reeve
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Richard Dawson
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  

 

• Zombie Growls:  3

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku Tanka:
  Kelly's Expose.
  The only thing that's been ex-
  posed is the simple
  fact that Mr. Laurinai-
  tis sucks as a talent scout.