298 Technical Havoc: October 8, 2020

86 minutes

It's hard to get a word in with these clowns!

 

Technical difficulties have caused Blade to laughing into coughing. That makes one of us. (Laughing, not coughing.)

 

This continues for 18 minutes.

 

Blade is paranoid for some reason.
RD: "I sincerely doubt that your 'jokes' are the problem."
Blade: "It's a problem."

...

Also yes, RD, you and I are correct. (:16)

...

However, this doesn't apply to their other show where things actually work properly (most of the time anyway). So things are a wash.

 

(That sounds like a damning with faint praise endorsement to support them to listen to that, come to think of it.)

But at least it's fun to hear Blade lose his mind (and his breath).

 

Anyway, RD is doing Halloween things early in a time period where such temporal concepts are all timey-wimey by trying some Halloween Crunch with a Ghost Captain (an Ancient Mariner)? The back of the box has a word to unscramble which RD has Blade attempt over the phone. As expected, Blade needs the letters repeated. As unexpected, he guesses correctly. The orange ghosts taste like creamsicles. RD doesn't have milk to test if they turn it into green so Blade has him try it in 0% fat water poured all over his desk instead. 

Spoiler: nothing happens.

Blade also correctly remembers who all five Killer Bees are. They have a Kickstarter for a comic book which has already achieved its minimum goal of $3,000, despite it being 35 years too late and their illustrations looking nothing like them. However, Ken "Swinging Full Nelson" Patera will also be in it. (:27) Someone should send a copy to the Iron Sheik to see if he can break its back and make it humble old country way (you can probably guess how to do so with a comic book).

Speaking of crowdfunding, April Hunter needs to replace her implants due to a freak accident with her dog through her own Gofundme. Currently it is at 60% of the required $9,000. (:37) Blade lies that he will help folks who may get in trouble by donating. (She's also on Patreon if you prefer to help her there.)

Marty Janetty has confessed to crowdfunding murder. Again. (:43) RD advises the Listeners to not social media while intoxicated; otherwise you might end up Co-Hosssing a radio progrem with him.

WWE has made a special on The Best of Mickie James after mocking her for being old. (:46) The Co-Fruitcakes don't think it will include her appearance on Jenny Jones or her time in TNA with a train.

After having crowed about being in the top 1%, current jailbird Tam's OnlyFans page is now inactive. (:51)

RD: "How is that news?"

His actual phone rings in an attempt to get him to escape further talk on the subject. So too Blade's dog (he also has a duck).

As expected, Blade failed to do his one job of finding a Question of the Week Past Month since he was distracted by his attempt to get him some online. (The worse thing about this being alleged is that he failed at said alleged thing. The worst thing about this was that it was expected.) (:55) All he has is an ad from Kraft for their Macaroni and Cheese (or what's known up north as a Kraft Dinner). He lies again that he will send the box to the first person who emails him on this. RD agrees with me on calling him out in advance of not doing this. Blade tries to shift responsibility.

Speaking of doing his one job, he also has to improvise this week's other debate question: who else would they like to see in comic book form? (:59) RD wants the Apter Mag newsroom (wasn't that a Howard Hawks movie?), Missy Hyatt (I'd buy that for a dollar if she wrote it), and Jack Tunney: Agent of FURTHERMORE, with an unequivocal monologue in every issue. Blade wants the Iron Sheik fighting the aforementioned Killer Bees, Mickie James, and the Black Scorpion. RD (for real) would send someone his own Kraft box to whoever can spell out best what FURTHERMORE would stand for.

WWE is bringing back Halloween Havoc for NXT. (:74) Blade hallucinates someone dressing up as a "slutty ghost" and thinks AEW should have a competing Hanukkah Havoc.

Blade: "I've been pretty unprofessional at times."

Seventeen Syllables to add:
Halloween Havoc.
NXT's bringing it back.
I'm scared. Literally.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Coasty Marshmellow, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Bad things in tag teams, this show, train wrecks, tired.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Lack of sleep.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.

 

• Blade Time Outs:  11
• RD Time Outs:  0
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  3
• RD’s False Finishes:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1 

 

• Question of the Week from: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
  
• Do you have that special someone that would like a free box of Kraft macaroni and cheese? Blade: Yes.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What three wrestlers would you like to see in a comic book?
• RD:  Apter Mag characters, Missy Hyatt, Jack Tunney (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Black Scorpion, Mickie James, Iron Sheik

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade is frightened of cash grab nostalgia:
  
  Halloween Havoc.
  NXT's bringing it back.
  I'm scared. Literally.

Breaking Horsetrolla News

Raging_Demons here boys and girls. I had planned to write a response to episode 295 but I couldn't find the particular items needed for it.



What's this? Breaking Horsetrolla news?! *pulls paper out of the Horsetrolla*

Oh. Oh MY! Uh...I might as well show you all why the Horsetrolla fired up.

Official Announcement!! I have decided to fufill my true destiny and give the people what they really need. I am running for President #MJ2020 You’re welcome America! I’ll see you at the polls pic.twitter.com/YmHbZjOIFR

— Mickie James~Aldis (@MickieJames) July 6, 2020

That's right. Mickie James is running for President of The United States. Its not like she would have any competition like the current President Donald Trump. Or the current leader in the political polls Democrat Joe Bident. Or Kanye West. Or Paris Hilton. Or "Full House's" Bob Saget.

I'm sure the Co-Fruitcakes will go into full detail of a President that has a centaur's ass.

295 eBay at the Beach: June 30, 2020

RD: "Was fun till Sunny"

75 minutes

RD wanted to wait things out for a few days due to current events. That took longer than expected.

Then Blade got a brutal ear infection. That didn't help either.

Driven to the brink and at the last minute, they decide to cut their losses and record now. It technically still counts as June, right?

According to their (barnyard) logic, if King Kong Bundy always insisted on a 5-count for his matches, then Hulk Hogan should have always kicked out at 4.

Blade has a habit of bowling with smoke bombs on July 4th. (:08) RD: "Thanks for explaining how the calendar works."

Thus, today's pressed for time radio progrem consists of the two just going through eBay auctions (keyword 'wcw'). (:14) Blade wants to search by proximity for some reason despite being in no condition to perform.

• Blade: Three Sting figures for $38.50 (all prices are USD). 
• A 1999 DDP with magnetic grip. 
• RD: An 8 inch 1997 Sting. 
• Random computer games including WCW Nitro and something called "Airplanes" which is actually a demo disc for Wings of Glory (produced by Warren Spector!). RD rightfully calls it a ripoff. 
• Blade: A $10 Goldberg VHS tape.
• RD: 61 figures for $195.
• 53 figures with DVDs (do any of them contain Goldberg?)
• A $98 1993 Sid Vicious figure. A "mountain of muscle" with half the brain that you do.
• Blade: A figure of Jimmy Hart in a yellow suit masquerading as Hulk Hogan.
• A vibrating Scott Hall figure infested with fleas.
• RD: 10 miles from his house (but with free shipping): A rain-covered baby carrier.
• VHS tapes for $45.
• A tape of Wrestlewar '89 for $19.
• Blade: 30 miles from his trailer: Brian Pillman and Chris Benoit masquerading as D-X.
• More vibrating figures of Andre the Giant and Kevin Nash.
• RD: Scott Hall with Toad shaped chest hair.
• A "loose" Fabulous Moolah (but does she vibrate?).
• Blade: 50 miles from his trailer: A Fall Brawl / WarGames 1995 Snapback hat for the low low price of $130.
• "Sold Cut" Kevin Nash (no word on if he's portrayed by a fake Diesel). 
• RD found a seller of autographed cards. He makes Blade guess some of their prices (for 2014). Stan Lane: $17. Kevin von Erich: $35. Booker T: $9. Eric Bischoff: $20. "James E. Cornette": $38 (Does not come with sexual harassment as illustrated). Terri Runnels: $20 (Does not come with handgun or scam house as illustrated). A Konnan scribble: $11. Dennis Condrey: "only" $9. A Ryan Shamrock illustration where Blade thinks her nose is too unhealthily red: $20. 

The two then go international. Blade will search by highest price first, RD by lowest.

• Blade: $12000 for a "bundle" of video wrestling footage.
• RD: 75¢ auction for "1991 Championship Marketing WCW #10 Sid Vicious Wrestling Card" with the man tied down with plastic. He bids on it.
• $1 1995 Jerry Sags with a picture of Brian Knobbs.
• Blade: $9999.99 + $5 shipping MINT 9 1988 Lex Luger rookie card.
• $8000 for a sealed VHS "private collection". Includes a German version of Road Wild '96, or as they call it, "Wild in Sturgis '96". RD sneezes as his bid.
• $7500 1995 WCW Main event Nasty Boys rookie card.
• RD: 99¢ Hollywood & Vine as Steve Austin. He wants to put that on one of his coasters.
• $1.69 1999 Brian Knobbs card.
• Blade: $5500 WrestleMania 6 Bobby Heenan Jacket.
• $5000 GEM-MT 10 Kimberly Page rookie card.

Since they're on the subject, the two then look for Tam stuff (to have fun with).

• Blade: $1500 for a "superstars 1 of 100" figure. This is the highest priced.
• The next item is $800 (also a superstars figure).
• Then $500 (ditto).
• Then $320 for a WWF 1998 Calendar CD that Blade already has.
• Then $130 for a "Sunny & Sid Ahmed Johnson Signed WWF WWE 1997 Bend-Ems Action Figure Set".
• RD: There is no Sunny within 95 miles of his house (thankfully). 165 miles from his house: A 1998 "Get Pumped" Deadstock shirt for $200.
• A 1996 Sunny Days print ad for a life management program for $2.30. RD: "I don't want her in charge of anything."
• A $5 Sunny in Chains photo from Australia.
• A 1996 Sunny Daze Collection print ad for $8.
• A completed listing from Fort Mitchell, Kentucky for an "Absolutely Sunny" shirt. Sold on the 13th for $50 despite the lack of a chin.

Blade: "Pretend I'm your father."

RD does the Haiku since Blade is still in no condition to perform:
What a show this was.
To be honest, was not bad.
Was fun till Sunny.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Smokebombbowling.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Worst ear infection of all time.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  3
  
• Blade Time Outs: 4 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Under the weather Blade reaches to RD for the hot tag on the haiku this week:
  What a show this was.
  To be honest, was not bad.
  Was fun till Sunny.

 

(292) Bitey's Revenge: April 1, 2020

..But not as terrifying as this podcast, Alfred!

"3" (27) minutes

Bitey tries his claw hosting with predictable results Random albeit looped/sequential bird soundclips take over for RD & Blade RD plays all his soundclips available to him RD attempts an avant-garde meditative audio piece RD last minute submits his monthly quota for the peanut gallery.

Co-Hosss Contest Year 14: An owl and a droid imitating parrot fail to impress with their own soundclips. Current Tally: 0 of ???.

Chirp:
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.



...Go vote?



$32.50 Chirp $19.99 Chirp 

Chirps & Cheeps (as deciphered by Erik "Dr. Doolittle" Majorwitz)

 

• 20th Annibirdsary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SQUAWKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not chirping about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Fly Ins: 2. Owl, Droid Parrot
  

 

• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs: 1 
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

Despite having less than a 30 minute run time, Bitey has the show record for number of segments/Trolla products used:  

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsor/Shills
• Trip to the Grocery
• Obscure Wrestling News
• Question of the Week
• Fun With Tam
• WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host Contest
• Fantasy Booking Island
• WrestleCrap Radio 3 Count
• Current Wrestling News
• Weekly Wrestling Haiku 
• FaxTrolla
• BabyTrolla
• HulkTrolla
• TamTrolla
  
  

• Question of the Week from: ???
• I don't speak bird.
  

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  ???
• Bitey:  I don't speak bird (non sequentially).

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Bitey fills in as best he can:
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp

Episode 44: Pilots: March 5, 2019

32 minutes

Blade is still with RD at his home following the earlier recording of the standard radio progrem. His Jazz Overnight sounds very sleepy now though. He entertains the people about how he can't remember most of their old episodes, unsurprisingly. However at least he's not drinking right now. Small steps and all.

Since RD has been encouraging listener participation for this show's incarnation, Zap Fabian suggested reviewing an old episode (:04). So RD takes a look at the pilot, all the way back in August 2005. (:07)

• The audio quality remains in high phone-buzzing over-modulated fidelity.
• "You know."
• The progrem was originally started before their appearance on Get In The Ring Radio...which they killed off, sending the original podcasters off the Internet.
• RD sure talked a lot back then, at least compared to "greenhorn" Blade and in talking about WC. 
• Someone reviewing it at the time thought of it as a "17 minute voice IM. " (:17)
• RD links current Sunny to Maude back then. This gives Blade a coughing fit. I hope he doesn't cough straight into RD's microphone. 

  

  The Once and Future Bea

• RD forgot who Clumsy Girl was. Don't feel too bad, I forgot too.
• Neither likes how they sounded then. (:13)
• RD still doesn't watch much of Raw.  
• Young RD had a Tivo from 2003. 
• Blade was partying hard at Young RD's age of 36.
• Tim Conway and Tom Wopat are still alive...for now.
• RD wants to ask people about Dorff. (:17)
• Young RD: "How did we get on Don Knotts?" RD: "That's a question you'll ask a lot, RD."
• Kerwin White was discussed a lot, for obvious reasons. (:21)
• So too the Boogeyman.
• Revenge of the Nerds came out in 1984. 
• The two are not used to their old voices talking about Gooker nominees in August. (:26)
• RD was sad he didn't make a Heidenrich Energy quip. "I'm really confused...What is wrong with you, young RD?"
• RD is surprised Blade did not make a trashbag reference.  (:28)

Blade wants to makeup haiku for the episode, though oddly he doesn't do so here now. RD is surprised people still wanted to listen after, or paid to listen after, either then or now. I believe Vince says the same thing of his own product every day instead of relating to the middle class.

260 Throwing Babies: June 3, 2016

"I'm crazy but you're insane???
Isn't that what you SAYED???"

63 minutes

(by R.V.M Kai)

In the third installment of Wrestlecrap Radio of 2016, RD and Blade dust off the Tin-Can-And-String to do an (emergency) hour-long second-by-second recap of a TNA Impact Wrestling YouTube clip starring "Broken" Matt Hardy and Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy.

As you know, for the two of you that have been following TNA this year [that number's way too high - PB], Jeff has been feuding with his brother Matt, who since suffering a storyline head injury had now gone "insane" (or "crazy"? What's the difference?), dyed his hair to look like Pepé Le Pew, and started speaking in a Shakespearean sort of "dramatic" tone [Matt Hardy became the "King Tut" of TNA. Its a "Batman '66" reference go look it up. - Raging_Demons.] [Edit: Is that so? I hope that doesn't mean that Jeff will resort to dancing the BATUSI to beat Matt at Slammiversay? - R.V.M Kai.] So, as shown on the recent episode on Impact Wrestling, Jeff rides all the way (just down the road) to Matt's "humble abode" to sign the contract to their grudge match at TNA Slammiversary 2016...but not before Matt's wife, Reby Sky, enters and throws...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!"

...A BABY???

(Note: For an enhanced experience, we recommend listening to the mp3 link at the top of the page while watching the video clip below.)

(Note Note: You'll also be required to pause and rewind the clip several times as RD & Blade make a 5 minute video feel like six one hour long.)

(Note Note Note: "GO!!!")



Blade then sings a song to the tune of "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies. (:59)



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right



NEW BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

Courtesy of Sean Breeding and our fine fellows at The Intestinal Fortitude, a combined and synced version of the above events. Cut out the middle Co-Fruitcake(s) and enjoy this fine and interactive submission for your approval!

EPIC BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

The parody videos have started after the airing of "The Comedic Tragedy of Broken Matt vs Brother Nero". Watch as EC3, Titus O'Neal, and Eli Drake make fun of the video. --Raging_Demons

SECRET BONUS OBJECTIVES (as discovered by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Such things.
  
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• RD Stops: 19
• Blade Stops: 8
  
• Blade Time Outs: 7 (1 Real Quick)
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Weird Al Laughs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy
  
• Isn't that what you SAYED??? It's OVAH!!!
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, how about a song about Brother Nero?
  

257 The Star Wars Holiday Special: December 23, 2015

"Boring conversation anyway!"

80 minutes

RD warns they won't be talking much about wrestling, as is their usual.

"If you're coming here, if you're coming to our Christmas show, and you're expecting in-depth analysis of professional wrestling, I'm afraid my friends you may be disappointed."

That should be their beginning disclaimer on every show, not just this one.

Blade tells about the time he became drunk Darth Vader the one time he saw Twisted Sister. Though that was more about him having trouble breathing (while taking a Force piss) rather than killing some younglings through some bad acting.

RD plays a randomly found old recording of the time they and some of the submitting Listeners randomly sang Jingle Bells. (:05) "We used to be funny," he admits.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes are no longer in contention for the WCFFL (myself having defeated Blade to get into contending for the Fralic Trophy, a first for me! Wish me luck.) so their football expert calls to pout about his tactics. This makes RD laugh. (:08)

RD is nostalgic for the first time I confused him with my submitted ad copy. I admit I am too. Those sure were simpler times! Blade is confused by the multiple URLs that are in play. [Edit by R.V.M Kai: RD may have also given us our new tag-line: "Wrestlecrapradio.com: A fantastic website! It's almost as good as Wrestlecrap.com!"] (:12)

I also sent the Duo a present or so for the season...if you consider the timely ZZ Top's Eliminator a gift like I do. (:15) Blade promises to deliver on his Big Announcement that he first mentioned about in...2007.

The Duo also got a gift from "The Grocery". Not Ray Stevens? (:18) They are Little Debbie's North Pole Nutty Bars. They're smaller than regular Nutty Bars yet still taste the same. Sounds like a rip-off if you ask me.

RD remembers Stevie J's Horray For Khali Claus. (:23)

Fascinating Christmas
there, RJ & Brad.

Speaking of being as old as Khali/Santa Claus, Mike Check calls in. (:25) He actually had his own radio station once: NPOL North Pole 98. The N is for the Northern region you see. Basing things on a bad James Bond movie (Die Another Day, not Spectre) he became Frosty Largerod and lived in an igloo for three months. For a change he plays RD's other beloved Jillian Hall's "Freddy Krueger impression".

:33 The Midnight Rose was in some NES-based wrestling game competition. Blade mixes himself and the Rose up, as is his usual. He blames his controller for his bad performance.

RD was asked by Trash Losagain to manage him one last time in the ring. He remembers the last time he did so over 10 or so years ago, when the Big Show beat him up.

Carl Zayas (2) is concerned about their Star Wars debate from last time. They do however both agree that Episode VII: The Force Awakens was pretty good. RD enjoyed Han Solo redeeming himself from Return Of The Jedi. Blade thinks ROTJ Han was based on RD retroactively somehow.

This brings Sir Alec for some reason. Which makes Blade laugh for some reason. (:41) He has a Star Wars Christmas themed fanfiction piece which sadly does not include that other Sir Alec.

RD remembers Piper at Christmas. (:49)

Jim is down as usual (:51) partly due to him not getting into the ZZ Top action by getting their CD. He also wants to talk about Star Wars for some reason. His spoilers news sources are all wrong, especially about barbecuing, which makes him leave randomly, as is more and more his fashion (Confused Jim perhaps?). And without even verbally flipping them off too! "Go Force yourself!" RD fills in for him.

:57 The Duo get down to some more Star Wars discussion. Only right here *slam* on WrestleCrap Radio!

RD remembered how he was spoiled on The Empire Strikes Back and ROTJ so he tried and succeeded to avoid anything for TFA (a tactic that I also did with equal success). Knowing where things led anyway he was still reflectively sad on what transpired with (TFA) Han. "Not every story has a happy ending," he reminds Blade. Blade is in turn reminded of how RD would fit perfectly in the Star Wars universe with his travails and events and things.

Blade went as Bossk with RD's gift mask and got into conflict with the police there. Wow, who could see that coming? RD & son went with their outfits and had no trouble. Blade thinks he should have gone as dying Darth Vader in ROTJ. "Think of the children!" he says.

RD reminds people who thought TFA was too similar to A New Hope that just because they thought so doesn't mean others who are younger and may not have seen the films before would think the same or not like it, which is a valid point. "Or you might wind up having your favorite character be Jedi Han Solo, that would be a tragedy!" At least he fares better than Blade's Bossk, who just sat around while Luke & Leia broke out Jedi Han/RD from Jabba the Hutt.

Blade then mumbles randomly about how the Ewoks were hidden until release and were thus shown as 'ugly Star Trek style aliens' as black blobs with hair. Someone should follow up on this.

:72 Fellow colleague Jordan Mishkin sent RD a vintage wrestling shirt. Blade received a Pabst Blue Ribbon flask and a Carbonite Han Solo popcorn bucket with a hand puppet of that ESB asteroid monster (Space Slug) from RD. In turn he sent him an Attack Of The Clones shirt, hopefully without sand in it.

Here We Go:
Han Solo is dead.
What did this make me feel like?
Lumpy in my throat.




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Christmas
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. GlobalInternet.net, WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Long John Silvers
• URLs not taken: 2. DarthVaderTakingaLeak.com, LumpyinmyThroat.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Sponsors, sentient beings, getting back in the wrestling ring
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 5. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, The Great Khali, Mike Check, Sir Alec Heineken, Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 3 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  2

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  NPOL North Pole 98 FM (North Pole)
• Radio Call Sign:  Frosty Large Rod
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  Santa Baby by Jillian Hall
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Carl Zayas (2)
  
• After hearing the back and forth between you and Blade, I was wondering, are you both okay?  I got worried. I haven’t heard a heated exchange between two people since me and my buddy almost engaged in fisticuffs in an argument about Wookies versus Gungans. I guess my question, is this normal? Yes.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates the new Star Wars:
  
  Han Solo is dead.
  What did this make me feel like?
  Lumpy in my throat.
  

256 Kitty Little: November 28, 2015

"Just buy some damn tubs!”

89 minutes

RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones; one of which is so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was (to be) released in a January.

Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)

Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".

Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.

According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)

RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.

Also he can't count.

Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!

:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.

The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search list of all their Black Friday outings...

RD went to Meijer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it, their “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than that *bleep* you buy! Just buy some damn tubs!”

Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.

:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names of Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD's joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.

The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he should know since he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson (back when he had longer hair) sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)

And yes, John Travolta is her love interest.

Coincidentally this was also Travolta's reaction when he heard that.

According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub still waiting for WWE to call him?

Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."

JR then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. Jim asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until the children got into it and then got into the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.

Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.

It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the two once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.

:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:

• RD watched the movies with his son.
• He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
• He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
• Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidentally poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
• He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
• He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
• He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternate universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus

:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).

RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."

TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV, formerly the TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counter counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.

Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.

To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.

Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).

Normally I would go on about how often such...adult content would sometimes be a natural first step to and from the business (unless your name is Joanie Laurer or Sean Morley) but knowing her skills, I fear it would end up in pretty badly botched action.

Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.

No, don't ask me how.

No, don't ask me how I know this either.

This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.


$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Black Friday
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com
• URLs not taken: 1. JermaineJacksonSmugglingaBanana.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Names, things we talked about in our past, trolls
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Merits of horrible Star Wars movies

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Bill Cosby, Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 1
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  7
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  3
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Paul O’Parka
• RD, when Star Wars Episode III:  Revenge of the Sith came out, you said in a review at WrestleCrap.com that it may have been the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back. With the impending release of The Force Awakens, do you still feel the same about RotS? Yes.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Obviously:
  
  Eva Marie porn.
  Brazzers made her an offer.
  Hope she'll be ball gagged.

Episode 18: Airhead Football League: August 13, 2013

Why this picture? See Episode 10 :D

22 minutes

RD has 'successfully' managed to upload his Archives online. And it can be yours too!...for the low low price of $14.95 (plus Shipping and Handling). Act now and we'll also include an archiving of this very site ABSOLUTELY FREE!

WWCR is 8 years old. Thankfully the Co-Hosses don't spend 10 hours reminiscing like they did the last time. Instead we get, well, this day's phone call. I'm not sure which is worse.

The Kansas City Clambake are currently beating RD's nameless team 2-0 at their Total Divas Fantasy League Drinking Game thanks to a surprise interception by Bill DeMott, among other things. (:06) Blade wants to add animals as possible players. They really need a league commissioner here I think. Their conversation mercifully ends when someone rings on Blade's door. John Thomas perhaps?

Still no idea on what the ultimate prize is.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 8th anniversary of broadcasting together!
  
• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Total Divas, USA Network

 

• Blade Time Outs:  2 (1 Real Quick)
  

Episode 17: National Floozie League: August 8, 2013

Total Drunks %-)

35 minutes

WWCR will be 8 years old.

Blade calls their successor phone calls "TuRDBuS" for some reason.

[We at wrestlecrapradio.com appreciate that the Co-Fruitcakes do visit this here site (possibly while drunk), but we so-called "buffoons" (that's what we are apparently?) would like to clarify that The RD & Blade Show has never, on this here website, been initialed or referred to anything that remotely sounds like "TuRDBuS". It was in fact, at one point, abbreviated as "RD&BS" on the top menu, which later changed to just "R&B", in order to save room. @wwcrdotcom did reach Blade Braxton for comment on Twitter concerning this inaccuracy. His official statement was quote: “Ooops”, unquote. 

Our guess - that damn hobo was/is drunk again.

Fascinating.]

RD is going to make a section of the site for paying customers like he's some sort of cam-guy. (:04) Blade promises more stuff there is no way in hell he will deliver on.

WWE's new reality show about Total Divas - which is less real than a podcast featuring a terrible Jim Ross impersonation - proved itself as a big 'hit' by gathering 1.52 million viewers for its second week, up from...1.34 from the week before. This is apparently enough though for Blade to arrange a "Total Divas Fantasy League" with RD: i.e., a glorified drinking game. The rest of the phone call involves draft picks, a round of Rock Paper Scissors over the phone at :17 (which RD handily wins), and John Cena. Yes, even on a show about Divas, John Cena has to be involved.

No idea on what would be at stake here though. My guess: the loser has to appear on Total Divas.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. USA Network, Dynomite!

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. John Wayne, Katherine Hepburn

 

• RD’s Picks
  Divas: Nicky Bella, Eva Marie, Natalya
  Boyfriend:  John Cena
  Backstage:  Jane
  

• Blade’s Picks
  Divas:  Brie Bella, Funkaldactyls
  Boyfriend:  Jimmy Uso
  Backstage Personnel:  Bill DeMott
  
  

RD Reynolds, 2013 Telephonic RPS Champion

Episode 11: Bowl School Raw: March 4, 2013

Promotional consideration paid for by...

15 minutes

(Guest recapper: R.V.M Kai)

RD & Blade discuss "Old School RAW" aka "Monday Night Duggan". They also discuss Auto Corporal Kirchner's non attendance since he's "no longer with us" (well, according to WWE.com canon that is). They also wonder whether Lord Alfred's ghost or an imposter will be making the "promotional considerations".

Sad News 8 minutes in; Blade recounts his experience (or was it the Midnight Rose?) at the Tecmo Super Bowl in which he was unsuccessful and blames it on a "torn rotator cuff" he suffered the previous night (or so he says).

[I'm just shocked - SHOCKED - that Blade lost. Again. - PB]

Blade: "I'm the 16 bit man. 8 bits are for boys."

Facts & Figures (as compiled by R.V.M. Kai Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 5. Yipes Stripes, Mr Freeze Freeze-Pops, Double Dragon II: The Revenge, Lloyd Kaufman’s, Alamo Draft House Kansas City
• URLs not taken: 1. BreastfeedingCarrieFisher.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. People no longer breathing
  
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

Episode 10: Tecmo Bowled: March 1, 2013

We couldn't find anything interesting in this
episode to find a picture of; so here's a
picture of James Earl Jones looking like
he's about to punch someone in the throat.

17 minutes

Bonnie Franklin is no longer with us. RD wonders if their Curse is following them like a stray dog.

It's now Blade's turn to be traveling, going with Vince Viagra to Madison, Wisconsin to play some Tecmo Bowl with the Midnight Rose and the HTMM. Spirited discussion about Tecmo Bowl dominates today's phone call.

Blade tells his favorite Tecmo Bowl story about defending the honor of James (Earl) Jones. (:12)

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 3. Tecmo Super Bowl Tournament, IndyChickenLimo.com, Badger Bowl

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Vincent Viagra

 

Episode 3: AA Bottom: January 15, 2013

31 minutes

ZZ Top: The Rock's Vince's favorite band

((( recorded in high phone-buzzing fidelity )))

RD has temporarily fixed the sound quality for the time being "like Crystal Pepsi." This is because he's recording the show at home.

It is only the 'third' episode and Blade is already talking about the time Don stole some soda.

The Co-Fruitcakes are surprised they have actually made three episodes in such a short span of time. (:03) Blade bets they can hit 209 episodes in their one year.

RD is thankful his radio progrem is now nothing more than his recorded phone conversations. This is good as this WCR Unplugged has a far cheaper phone bill. "It wasn't free to call Gay Popeye I'm telling you," notes RD. This is despite Popeye almost always calling into the show. Blade notes the expensive phone calls he had to make to Alec...who 'lives' in his neighborhood. He must be using AT&T.

Blade is looking forward to being paid $100 for his paper plate auction. (:07)

The Death of WCW will be re-released for its 10th anniversary next year. But will it be in 3-D High Definition? (:09) RD looks forward to debunking Kevin Nash.

This week's Raw reminds the Co-Fruitcakes of many of the show's numerous themes. (:13) RD talks about Styx's Dennis DeYoung for some reason.

RD enjoyed seeing a reanimated Leslie Nielson playing Ric Flair. (:17)

Blade: "[Kaitlyn's] mouth looked like she told Michael J. Fox just to dress her up for Halloween." (:21)

RD is confused about Blade being concerned about ZZ Top. This brings about discussion on the timeliness of ZZ Top. (:23) Vince McMahon is termed Dusty Wolf for some reason.

Blade thinks Vince likes to watch a showering Shawn Michaels. (:24)
Blade: "I think Vince probably liked to watch ZZ Top take a shower and trim their beards too. That's the only explanation."
RD: "People liked this show for some reason."

RD wants to know how much WWE paid the Rock to put over ZZ Top. (:26) He then asks people for more information about ZZ Top in return for a prize. Don't listen to his siren call. It will only lead to a bad end.

RD does his Tom Brokaw (on CBS) impression. (:30)

Jeff Hardy and Reby Sky have been married for two years now. This is apparently news. (:31)

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Crystal, RD & Blade Show, getting old

 

196 A Medley of Musical Madness: May 20, 2011

85 minutes

Is it me, or is RD more attractive in a wig?

Blade is ill this week, but rather than sound like the Penguin like he normally does, this time he sounds almost drunk. He's also forcing himself not to be as crude as he normally is. RD has his WWE Niagara Falls...shirt on, and is reduced to answering questions on his Facebook wall. More shilling of this very site ensues. Blade wants he and RD to wear powdered wigs for their bicentennial 200th episode.

The Co-Fruitcakes finally have their new forum thanks to Sean Carless, the Craphole. (:09) Go look at it now, I'll wait. Hell, Clarence and I are mods over there. If you read this, say hi to us over there. We might give you an e-cookie or something. (I'm still going to be around the old site though, and you should check out the Freakin' Awesome Network if you have some spare time on your hands.)

RD is guessing that their sponsorship deal thingy with Global Internet is somewhat strenuous right now (it's like one of those cyclical graphs with the line going up and down in waves; right now the number is low) so he searches for a new sponsor to take their place. This week on the Sponsor Roulette (:16), we get promotional consideration from Hulk Hogan Vitamins (Blade can't hear the children on it properly), Lord Alfred for Mr. Freeze Freeze-a-bars (though thankfully without any bad puns being made), and Lord Alfred shillingreallyreallyreallyfastforhislifeforsomereasonfor Double Dragon 3.

:21 RD has to explain the Trip to the Grocery. White Castle is now accepting online orders. (What are they, Domino's?) RD has to explain White Castle with reference to Bob Griese. It's a fast food franchise. What more do you want to know? RD posts on the new forum for the first time.

:31 On Primetime Wrestling this week from WWE On Demand the Megapowers explode through a verbal debate with Rockin' Robin. Speaking of exploding the Ultimate Warrior is working on some music project with Steven Adler, formerly of Guns 'n' Roses (:36) Unless he's painting album covers while Adler does all the actual musical work I'm not buying it (literally or figuratively). I mean, Warrior would spend at least half an hour between songs rambling incoherently. This leads to the logical nostalgia of Rockin' Robin singing as well as the Warrior does on an average day.

The Big Nippled Vampire is appearing in a Smashing Pumpkins music video. Wait...the Pumpkins are still making music? And music videos??? It's probably just an excuse for Billy Corgan to hit on her. Hell, perhaps she's in the band now which would give him an excuse to do that. That wouldn't be more surprising than the news we actually get.

The Midnight Rose is to be back on TV, which gives RD an excuse to play Tony's Theme again. I look forward to the day they play Push it to the Limit and make me hallucinate I'm playing a Grand Theft Auto game with the radio progrem as part of the soundtrack. On that same track, the Rose's imaginary girl Maria is on a party tour at Baltimore, which is not to be confused with Baltimora and Tarzan Boy. The two randomly discuss Easter eggs that can be 'found' on their DVDs as a result. Or you could just save your money and look for them on YouTube.

Sad HorseTrolla: (:48) Blade missed seeing Mickie James, Becky Bayliss, and Betsey Russell in Detroit. It's almost becoming a habit of his. RD thinks Betsey doesn't have long for this world so Blade needs to fuck her as quickly as she can before she becomes known to be sick.

:55 You know the recording is taking too long when Blade's phone dies and he has to get a replacement. RD reads a question from Keil Williams (not to be confused with the band Keel) about Ric Flair, secretive Time Lord. (Why do you think he's still in the ring after all these years?)

:62 The Honky Tonk Mailman pays a visit. Hey, remember him? I sure don't. Sadly, in his hiatus between appearances he didn't bother to upgrade his Skype connection because it still keeps cutting out every now and then. According to him, Sting will appear in WWE...in February. You know, if they want more timely news they should get him to ship Express. He also has news about the Dark Journey $5 Priority stamp. It's apparently made in Soviet Russia because the stamp licks you. Jim Ross calls in to see if he can get one. (:68)

:69 The Co-Hosses waste time by going over Maxim's latest Hot 100 List. According to Blade's excited reading of her statement, Kelly Kelly is excited to chart the list at #82....ten spots below former Diva Stacy Keibler. That's so representative of the whole current Diva roster isn't it?

In case you were wondering (and you were probably weren't) about the irreverence of such Lists as these, the top spot at the list is taken by a Victoria's Secret lady who's currently replacing Megan Fox in the upcoming Transformers: Bark at the Moon. (At least, I think that's what the title is. Didn't we already see this in this year's Doctor Who series?) The lone silver lining for that movie: Leonard Nimoy is going to be voicing Sentinel Prime. (His second wife is a direct relative of Michael Bay. Plus as a last resort he could just send in repurposed clips of when he was in the first first movie as Galvatron.)

[Spoiler Alert? Judging from what happens with Prime in this movie maybe they should have just kept him as Galvatron and enticed more confused folks to see it. - Future PB]

Michael Hayes is now a wrestling manager. (:78) RD remembers his terrible theme song he had when he was with the Fabulous Freebirds. Wasn't it usually a rite of passage though those days to have your own awful theme song? It's most definitely nothing new. An 'invasion' is being planned for June 21st. The fact that they're randomly just dropping this news here at the end of the show without much explanation says wonders for what they think of it or what the turnout will become. So, don't hold your breath for anything to happen just yet.

You know what is even worse? Joanie Laurer is in TNA playing as Jeff Jarrett's lover.

Seventeen Syllables to expand on that:
Chyna the mistress.
Sorry, I'd rather bang Ar-
nold's fat ugly one.

Blade: "End the show now."

You have to be kidding me. Just 75 cents? ($18.75)

175 Flip-Flop: May 14, 2010

69 minutes

For some reason Blade uses his high quality headphones today while watching a wrestling DVD. He's drunk enough (as per his custom) to overlook SoCal Val's anime nose and get aroused by Buzz Aldrin appearing on RAW one of these days. Sadly that's the only good news we have. Due to work on the new Archive Disc and their 'Roast', the duo are going to be sporadic with work these next few weeks, and the Disc is affected enough to be delayed to June rather than late May. (The first of many?) I don't know though. Does a Roast really take two months to perform rather than two hours? [It does if they let Mike Check host - "Showstealer"] ESPECIALLY if they're just Roasting against themselves which is just sad (but also highly amusing).

:12 The only guest for the hour calls here, as a "Sheriff Dick Well" (who sounds like Frank in LA) calls with Blade's normal headphones looking for a John Smith. You mean THIS man? ("John Smith" is a common alias of his.) The man's call would set up an emergent plot arc...if we couldn't CLEARLY hear the sound alerts of his logging on and off RD's Skype account (which our friend fails to hide with haphazard editing).

:20 Pop Tart Popsters. Do they have Trivial Pursuit clues written on them too?

:24 Ted Arcidi is now mucking around in random low budget movies. I suppose there are worse ways to spend retirement...Unfortunately it seems the Celebrity Trip is now dead, as no one seems to want to appear on a show named "WrestleCrap". So let's waste time wondering what on Terra Stacy Carter and Kizarny were doing loitering around at a TNA taping, and having Stacy Keibler on a Maxim "Hottest Women" list. Also neither have heard of this thing called a 'mute button'. (If you're wondering, the #1 hottest woman (until the next time) is apparently Katy Perry.)

:46 Some random idiot was arrested for violent tendencies against WWE for Mickie James' future endeavoring, but was let go after his bail dropped by a factor of 100 when he was banned from any further WWE events, which according to the duo seems like a surefire boon to him. Bret Hart is now a proud grandfather, even if the child does have a strange name.

:53 Brian M (2) has his turn to make more bad puns, Patrick Stewart has his turn to shill Pontiac's "Deangelo DeNero Viero" some more, (:55) and the music drowns out Blade's nonsense. (:58) John Cena is all over Twitter about recording yet more music for September as apparently WWE has reversed its opinion on the site and is now actively encouraging its workers to use it. It could be worse, they could be like some random VP who was fired for sexual harassment...only to have his victim ALSO fired for fucking someone at work. Screw it, get to the haiku already.

An epileptic fish out of water of Seventeen Syllables of fury.
Flipping Batista.
Didn't get to see it live.
I flipped the channel.

153 WrestleClip Radio: August 14, 2009

(144 minutes !!!)

Previously, on WrestleCrap Radio...

"We've covered dog semen and shitting in trashbags. That's a start, that's a start to a good day."
- Blade Braxton

Blade is to RD as the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson. The show has been running so long that Blade's 'students' from four years ago are now graduating high school, one of them doing a "Speaking Of" in his Valedictorian speech. Iggy and I are the 'finest of the youngest of the eggs' with Ultimate Kennedy. Thus to celebrate this 4th anniversary occasion (and them both being lazy after whatever they did) they decide to relax with a first for the show - a clip show. It worked for Star Trek after all (except when it didn't).

We must first mention our sponsor, globalinternet.net (:05) RD thinks Greg dresses as Gilbert Lowell from Revenge of the Nerds. Our second sponsor is angrymarks.com (:07) as RD does their ad copy in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. Blade reminds us of his wrestling appearance at August 15 in Granite, Illinois, close to St. Louis. Next stop, Smackdown!

As we take a TRIP to the Grocery (:12) RD remembers all his non-Grocery TRIPS, including...

(:13) Black Friday, where he met Calculator Man and Bedding Man (:15) Blade would come, but he is scared of Cornholes. SPEAKING OF Cornholes... (:21)

As we're still celebrating we play the MIDI Dr. Feelgood for RD to sing to. Here's some more 'great' singing...

(:24) RD and Blade sing off to each other on Halloween.
(:28) RD beats Triple Kelly at his game of singing Cher.
(:35) Blade sings a song about Ashley Massaro.

RD goes through all his sound clips: Krankor, RJ Fletcher, Al, Mama, Crickets, Huey. Blade has one clip to symbolize the show, his favorite in fact. the infamous Beating Meat clip. (:40) Some more favorites of the two:

(:49) Sir Alec's debut, with his first great debut story
(:53) RD loses it.
(:59) Frank from LA tries the Captain Crunch Milkshake
(:68) Alien Ham
(:72) Trashbagging
(:75) Blade meets Superstar Billy Graham and the Rods in his dream.
(:79) Gorgeous George stripping for Blade
(:81) Don...Don Mason finding a guy fucking a horse.

RD was scared that Blade would tell Vince Russo Don Mason stories. (:83) Thankfully he didn't and so we hear about Vince signing copies of the Death of WCW. We also hear how the dearly missed John Tenta first heard of WrestleCrap (:84) and of Lance Storm dancing. (:86)

Remember the Co-Host Contest? RD and Blade sure do, particularly the sound of one contestant farting. (:89)

If you think THAT'S rude, you don't want to hear Jim Ross' frequent calls on the show to rant for no reason. Including:
(:92) Jim Ross being angry on being featured on site inductions.
(:96) Jim Ross beating his meat with Dr. Death Steve Williams.
(:104) Jim Ross as a TNA Correspondent? No chance!

SPEAKING OF TNA Correspondents...
(:109) Johnny 6 likes skank hos.
(:113) Stubby is as lewd as ever.
(:118) David Lee Roth does not want to cover TNA news.
(:120) Mike Check makes himself at home on the Whacker, WWCR.
Blade's favorite TNA guy was Stubby, of course. RD could never see his lips move.

(:128) We hear the Coliseum Video music for Current Wrestling News, still as great to hear as ever. RD remembers Blade's quest to milk Linda Hogan. (:129)

With the appearance of the WrestleCrap Quartet (:132) we go back to the first great Haiku all those years before, which went something like this...

First Ever WrestleCrap Haiku:
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

(:138) RD and Blade sing to cover up the past four years. Sing along, won't you?

Didn't Know He Was Sick

12 Listeners, fine young egg, Glen "Campbell" Kane
Hit the bottle, BM Punk, Rebecca DiPietro
Mickie James: Centaurlicious, Brother Midnight: No-pants business
Tee Hee Tickle Party, The (Ashley)'s a ho

Nicole Bass, Hobo, "Rockin' Chair," Bistro
Tajiri's wife can't drive, Precious Paul's frozen eye
Lions-Colts, "You're hurtin' me, Randy," Crochet Queen
Prostitute roommate is lactating for money

Didn't know he was sick
Knotts is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

JT Titty, "Tarzan Boy," Mountain Dew Doritos
Johnny Six, Randy West, JR hates Gorbachev
Boo Berry, Good Friends, Ricky needs help again
"ZZTopwinsTerrisHouse, I bet that's not taken"

Ric Flair with a bear, Kelly Kelly somersaults
John Thomas selling Grit, Greg at Global Internet
Bill Cosby, Joyce DeWitt, bring back WSX
Blade as the Penguin, Demento is a douchebag

Didn't know he was sick
McMahon is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Loverboy, He-Man's log, Unibomber-style shack
Corn oil, Miller Lite, Big Nippled Vampire
Midnight Rose, Sir Alec, Ghetto Skeletor
Lift the tail, Triple Kell, watch out for the Clumsy Girl

Lord Littlebrook's legs don't work, Jack and the Curly Q's
Granny panties, Strongbow, Gorgeous George nude show
Gazer, Stubby, Chili Twistaroni
Bridget Midget, Scaleface, no sex on Mimi's first date

Didn't know he was sick
Cronkite is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Lena Yoda, Gay Popeye, That Trolla Tattoo Guy
Betsy Russell, Nipsy Russell, Verne Gagne masturbating
Great Khali's giant tooth, Val Venis sold his pooch
Roddy Piper's neighborhood, Deever's curly hair is good

Vince has a turkey neck, who killed Mike Check
Jillian's mole, Michelle McCool likes to roll

Didn't know he was sick
Harvey is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

White Castle, Trash Losagain, Trish's meat curtain
Dunk tank, Virgil's cock, Dusty's book, funk sock
Candice glow stick, banging Katie Vick from behind
RD scrammed, Alien Ham, Mama - "Damn, damn, damn"

Star-O-Saurus made kids cry, Anonymous Brooke's backside
Jazz Blade, cheap headset, RD loves Kurt's moveset
Lita wants Blade's bone, met at a car show
"Please and thank ya," "Mrs.Deal, get Dave Meltzer on the phone"

Didn't know he was sick
Carson is not alive
We lost another guy
Didn't know he was sick
Johnny's gone and on and on and on...