Episode 104: Holy Non Sequiturs!: August 21, 2023

The Sport of Penguins
October 5, 1967
"The Penguin teams up with parasol collector Lola Lasagne. Together, they plan to rig the upcoming Bruce Wayne Handicap to make a fortune from Lola's prize racehorse Parasol. They break into Glu Gluten's Glue Factory to steal a condemned horse, planning to switch horses before the race and make their money by betting on the real Parasol. When Batman, Robin, and Batgirl catch up with them at the glue factory, Penguin sneaks outside and plasters the Batmobile with a sticky glue."
70 minutes

RD: GOIN TO GLUE FACTORY knew it was Hulk Hogan's 170th Julie Newmar's 90th birthday recently.
Vince: "Oh I thought you were gonna say "probably better than Sunny in an orange jumpsuit.""
RD: "She looks exactly like Shelly Winters when she was Ma Parker."
Vince still feels a bit bad for the young woman he once worked with.
RD retells the time he and Blade once met Tam at a convention before things happened as they did.

Speaking of things happening as they did, RD finally saw Extreme live. Gary Cherone recognized his Batman '66 shirt that he is also wearing here. Vince brought up Jimmy Fallon and Jack Black parodying More Than Words: "Let me put it to you this way: it's gonna be ten times better than the episode we just witnessed." (:15)

Narrator: "Gotham Park Racetrack, the day before the Bruce Wayne Foundation Memorial Handicap, where two fancy fillies are meeting the press: a high-spirited horse and her proud-spirited mistress."

The Racetrack is an actual outdoor shoot (at Los Alamitos), a rare sight this season due to budget. The horse is named Parasol and her owner is named Lola Lasagne, a major player in "shower sticks" i.e. parasols. (:23) To Parasol: "Shape up, Parasol. Looks and your legs are all we've got left."

Narrator: "But what's this strange bird doing in the royal surroundings of a queen of the turf and the sport of kings?"
Penguin waddles up, grabbing the umbrella from her hand, and then waddles off.
Lola: "You waddling bird!"

After the titles, Pengy next enters the City's one (1) Public Library to break open a case to reveal the book inside.
Barbara: "What is this? You can't just barge in here cut open a locked case, and walk off with a priceless folio of famous parasols."
Penguin: "Why not?"
She tries making a "tax-paying" citizen's arrest, calling up her "beloved father" that he's already met just a couple of weeks ago. He uses the opportunity to flee, leaving behind a ticking umbrella.

As it just so happens the Duo are also in the Office. The Bros think they were having lunch.
O'Hara: "Brazen bird! I'll wager there's a connection between this and that parasol he stole from Lola Lasagne today at the racetrack."
Gordon (suddenly appalled): "You wager, Chief O'Hara? A public servant and upstanding chief of police betting?"
O'Hara: "Uh, can I call it a hunch, Commissioner?"

The Duo rush over to the Library with a Bat-Shield.
Robin: "Haven't you some Anti-Percussion Asbestos Bat-Flax in your utility belt?"
Batman: "No time for that now, Robin. Let's get this offending article out into the corridor and under the Bat-Bomb Machine."
The umbrella explodes (off-screen of course), but thankfully the Duo are unharmed.
Batman still remembers Pengy's attempt to marry Barbara, and his thinking again of Batgirl makes his heart all aflutter. The Duo leave to consult the Batcomputer. 

Narrator: "While in Penguin's bookshop, or to be more accurate Penguin's bookmaking shop..." (:31)
Penguin takes bets over the phone, and of course he does it in person to directly link himself to any potential crimes. Lola comes in for her parasol, which he uses to know she is actually Lulu Schultz.
Penguin: "I knew you when you'd steal the braces from other kids' teeth."
Lola: "While you stole their teeth."
Parasol (her horse), is her one thing from her three week marriage to 80 year old South American billionaire Luigi Lasagne. She even had to sell her parasols. So she was hoping to win the race tomorrow. Unfortunately Pengy has to break it to her that it is a charity race, for the Bruce Wayne Memorial Foundation. Is there any other kind in the city?

In the Batcave the Duo and Alfred somehow link parasols to horse blankets. Vince wonders if they were involved by the pre-credits scene of the Penguin at the racetrack. The Batcomputer's "Bat-Correction Signal" then prints "Lulu Schultz" which they somehow link to "Glu Gluten's Glue Factory." Even Vince can't explain that.
Robin: "Holy non sequiturs!" 

As soon as the Duo leave in the Batmobile Alfred immediately calls Barbara to tell her.
Barbara: "But how did you her of it?"
Alfred: "Actually, I overheard it. The Dynamic Duo were to be dinner guests at Stately Wayne Manor  tonight."
RD: "He's only known this girl for a couple of weeks. He's already trusting her with this?"

Barbara: "Charlie, I thought I was going to spend a quiet evening with you. Instead, I'm off to Glu Gluten's Glue Factory."
Narrator: "Once more, from Barbara Gordon, librarian and police commissioner's daughter,to that dominoed daredoll Batgirl in a matter of seconds!"
RD thought she looked good in a pink dress. Vince wonders how her hideout would not be discovered since she lives in an apartment complex instead of a stately manor. RD thinks she should have had Alfred help her with building it. 

At the lair, Penguin decides to get Parasol to swap appearances with another horse and make money off the long odds of disguising him as a long-shot dark horse. Pengy volunteers his own horse with a dash of white paint on the mane. He then hears over the radio of the Duo handling his bomb in the Library, infuriating him.
Penguin: "The Dynamic Dunderheads! Faugh! Double faugh! Triple faugh!"
Lola: "Why are you so anxious to bomb the library?"
Penguin: "No, not the library, somebody in the library. Somebody who had the miserable taste to turn down an offer of marriage from me."
Lola: "You, Pengy, scorned by a woman?"
Penguin: "It's incredible, isn't it? Well, let's get back to the horse-switching before those caped  crumbums get on my tailpiece again."

As part of their plan the two go to the glue factory (as the Trio make their own way there). The place has a dizzying array of glues, including fish glue. RD tried looking it up and for some reason didn't find much. What search engine he was using? (My guess is AltaVista.)
Glu Gluten is actually there in person, telling the two that horse glue isn't actually made from actual horses as much nowadays. However he does keep a spare "in case of emergency."
Penguin offers to buy "this four-legged thing with a long nose" for "nothing down and a little a week. Don't you know anything about the economic structure of this country? It's always nothing down and a little a week. That is the cornerstone of our financial security."

The Duo catch up to watch things go down (still legally for the moment).
Batman: "But planting a time bomb in a public library is a felony."
They try crashing through the window - and get stuck as they both try to go through at the same time. Also they're barely six inches off the ground. 

Penguin: "Drat! Double drat! Triple drat!"
Batman: "Expletives will get you nowhere. ... What other whimsical pranks are you and your charming conspiratress up to?"
Penguin orders Lola to run with the horse to the racetrack before siccing his goons for the fight. They show their prowess by tossing Robin up and down like a cheerleader. Also the glue factory had a trapeze for some reason.
Batgirl ties up the goons but Penguin escapes with a bucket of "library glue". RD tried looking that up too and of course found nothing.

Batgirl: "I pray for the day when Gotham City's safe from such mocking mountebanks."
Batman: "Cleaning up crime is the dream of every good citizen, Batgirl. But one thought intrigues me. How did you know Robin and I might be in trouble with Penguin in this glue factory?"
Batgirl: "Through the one thing you couldn't possibly have in your utility belt, Batman: a woman's  intuition."

Penguin uses the Duo's distracted by Batgirl's vanishing to paint library glue all over the Batmobile seats and tires.
Batman (smitten quoting her theme song): "She's gone. Like a shadow. Like smoke. Like a shooting star. Who knows where she goes? Who knows where she comes from? Who knows who she is?... We must allow her her anonymity and freedom of action as we demand ours. Whatever is fair in love and war is also fair in crime-fighting."
Vince wonders if Barbara is around Dick's age. RD reminds him she just graduated college while Robin is still high school, so there would be a four year difference between them at least. That would be enough to make her his ward too.

Glu: "Nothing down, nothing a week. A nothing factory. What a deal."

The Duo hop into the Batmobile to get back to the Batcave and of course get stuck to the seats. (:51)
Robin: "Holy mucilage!"

The two villains are back at the lair having managed to paint the fake horse.
Penguin: "You switched bangtails at the track, and this hay burner is the real palooka."
Lola: "The real Parasol, Pengy. And I wish you wouldn't call her a bangtail, a hay burner or a palooka."
Naming their new horse Bumbershoot, Penguin now has to explain to his fellow criminal how betting works. But they still need money first to wager. Pengy decides to go back to the Library, steal the book on rare parasols, and sell it on the black market.
Lola: "Go get it, right now."
Penguin: "No, no. The library isn't open yet."
Lola: "Since when has that ever stopped you?"

Narrator: "Is Lola right? Can't Penguin be stopped? Is he really stealing a priceless folio to finance his crooked coup with the Dynamic Duo pasted to the Batmobile outside the glue factory? And Barbara Gordon, minus Batgirl's trappings, asleep in her apartment? Or is she?" 

Barbara is woken up by the Emergency Library Prowler Signal, which she informs her father about.
The Duo manage to return to the Batcave, apologizing to Alfred since the Batmobile's Library Paste Bat-Dissolving Switch also got stuck.
Robin: "Look Batman, the red phone." (Emphasis mine.)

Narrator: "But are they all too late? Will Penguin and Lola succeed in pulling off the foulest race-fixing scheme of all time? For more, tune in the next episode."

 

...

 

This is the type of cliffhanger we have been reduced to this season. 

Vince wonders if they were trying to save money on "traps", so we got what everyone agrees is the worst cliffhanger ever: people just standing around as a phone rings.

The next episode title doesn't even rhyme.  

Through his archaic search engine RD found his birthdate (January 12th) was the most popular. He shares it with Vince's father. September is the most popular month overall. 

RD wrote about Eric Bischoff (with Matt Hardy) beating the Young Bucks with two karate kicks. Of course it was TNA, why do you ask?

Speakinf of Hardys, Jeff had a Gooker nominee Texas Chainsaw Massacre match (against other Jeff Jarrett). AEW didn't even get paid that much! (Only $100,000 which Tony Khan will donate to Maui relief after much backlash.) Vince got a laugh at a chainsaw wielder just deciding to kick somebody. Even he - Vince Russo - was confused by the breakneck chaos of things. RD laughed at them considering Hangman Page standing next to an ambulance as a "hospital" (ala Season 3 Batman). He wants to email Tony to ask to check inside the ambulance to see if Shaquille O'Neal is in it.

• Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [10] (Burgess Meredith) [10]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Lola "Lulu Schultz" Lasagne (Ethel Merman) 
  

 

• Screen Shares: 1. Vince
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Returned albums, Awful
  

Episode 96: Holy Little Buttercup!: June 26, 2023

Caught in the Spider's Den
March 16, 1967
"The Black Widow adjusts her cerebrum short-circuiting device to successfully alter Batman's brain. With Batman powerless to resist, and Robin captured, she disguises herself as the Boy Wonder and brings along a dummy Batman to rob another bank. Commissioner Gordon initially believes Batman is setting a trap for the villainess. But when word comes of the successful robbery, the commissioner puts out an all-points bulletin to bring in the Caped Crusaders dead or alive."
69 minutes

RD: Agrees Milk is Delicious. Is there ever any doubt? Vince compliments his friend's intellect compared to his own in wearing a Rebel Alliance cap and "totally comprehending everything that's going on". Vince cannot even follow a Harry Potter movie.

The two agree this episode was somewhat better than the previous one.

Vince thinks RD sometimes uses words like "tangentially" to confuse and educate him. 

Narrator: "When last we saw the Caped Crusaders, they were trapped in Black Widow's giant cobweb about to be bitten by two deadly Black Widow spiders. Are the heroes headed for that great Batcave in the sky? In scant seconds, the answer will be yours."

Unfortunately the spiders look even worse. RD considers it a harbinger for next season.

Robin: "Batman, he's almost on me!"
Batman: "He is a she, Robin. Only the female of the species is venomous. ... And mine is almost upon me also!"

Of course Batman manages to break free, pulling from his utility belt a 5000V "mini-charge" for his ward. He tells Robin to brace himself, despite electrical pain usually being at 25000V. But the resulting light show looked better than anything WCW or TNA could make, but not the Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch. RD hopes it appears in the upcoming AEW game. 

Remembering Widow's words about using a tunnel ("that's how most crooks get into vaults"), the Duo follow it to the actual lair (:18) to find the villains counting their money.
Batman: "You didn't count on us, did you, you sophisticated but evil woman?"
Widow: "As a matter of fact, no. But how fiendishly clever of you. And how handsome you are, Bat-doll."
Batman: "You needn't try to short circuit our brains, Black Widow. We're still wearing our anti-short circuit Bat-brain electrodes."
Robin (whispering): "Batman, I've lost one of my electrodes."
Batman (whispering): "Bad luck, old chum, but perhaps I can pull off a bluff."

She calls them on it, trying a second attempt...having reversed the polarity. Robin is of course fine, but Batman is not, standing there frenetically blinking.
Robin: "You, she-devil! Have you short circuited Batman's brain? I will not submit to your treachery!"
Widow (to mind-controlled Batman): "Masked Muscles, you go back through the tunnel into my main web and have a little drink to the latest development."
Batman: "Could we take Robin along too?"
Widow: "But of course. No Robin, no Dynamic Duo. N'est-ce pas?"
RD is sure this was referenced in Burton's Batman. He also enjoyed the recent Flash movie which also had Keaton Batman.

Batman knocks Robin out and helps to carry him further inside the lair, and you can tell he did a good job because Ward can be easily seen giggling. 

Widow: "Well, Bat-doll, perhaps you would like some champagne?"
Batman: "I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?" (:27)
She asks Trap Door (in his trap door) for a quart of whole milk, and Batman is so excited he rubs his hands together in anticipation. 

After Widow stomachs a swallow of milk, she asks Batman to find more banks to hit in the Batcave. He doesn't need to go back, since he carries in his utility belt a "remote control Batcomputer oscillator." He activates it just as Alfred is by the Batcomputer to notice it working.
Widow finds a target ("the just opened Heritage First National Bank") but the information also states ""Seen with Black Widow. Batman's life in great danger?""
Widow: "Oh, it really seems as if your criminal career is over even before it starts. But I am certainly not going to risk your life."
She asks Batman for a spare suit that they will put on mannequin grandpa above ground while she will dress up as Robin, much to RD's confusion. She then asks Batman to call the branch manager through her WebPhone.

Meanwhile in Gordon's Office, the Undynamic Duo are happy there have been no recent robberies since Widow has been dealt with.
RD: "Where did they think that Batman was keeping Black Widow? In the Batcave where they throw the deceased women?"
The Duo are called by the branch manager in question (Irving Irving). He tells them that Batman is to take $40,000 in a brown paper bag "at exactly 11:43 this morning" to split with Widow. Of course Gordon thinks this is just Batman at work.

Cut to a nearby street, with the Batmobile being driven by Batrobot and Robin Widow, she driving from the passenger side with her own bad ADR (since it is in fact just Ward in makeup).

A call comes in to Gordon's...but from a regular non-Bat phone. His hearing about the robbery by 'Batman and Robin' causes such a sad look on his face.
O'Hara: "Saints preserve us!"
Gordon: "Yes, indeed, saints preserve us if the Caped Crusaders have gone crooked."
O'Hara: "Which apparently they have."
Gordon: "Chief O'Hara, I want an APB to all units for the arrest of Batman. Hopefully alive, but we'll take him the other way if we have to." (Emphasis mine)
APB: "Attention all units. Be on alert for Batman. First name unknown. Caucasian. Height: 6'2, wearing purple trunks, purple cape, purple cowl, and a black bat insignia on his chest. He has a masked accomplice whose alias is Robin. Approach with caution. They may be armed."

A police officer quickly finds the Batmobile and approaches gun drawn. He is met with even more bad ADR by Robin Widow: "think Batman is afraid of you, copper? Go on and shoot. I dare you."
Officer: "What's happened to you, Boy Wonder? Even your voice has turned snarly."
Widow: "None of your business, flatfoot! Now, go ahead and shoot, because you'll never take us alive!"
The Batmobile drives off at 2 MPH, as the officer fires and hits at point blank. "I couldn't have missed at such close range. I've killed Batman!"

Of course the real Batman is not actually a zombie getaway driver, and is still at the lair playing cards by himself. (:38) Despite this the goons still want him to cheat.
Batman: "I certainly don't wish to be rude, but normally the game of solitaire requires only one player.
Why don't you two kibitzers go outside and wait for Black Widow?"
They do...leaving behind Robin who manages to untie himself and obtains the short-circuit device and polarity reverses it again. Nice job, schmucks.
Before using the device though Robin asks Batman to sing. He responds with...I'm Called Little Buttercup from HMS Pinafore, including the theatrical movements. RD thought it was amazing. Vince: TREMENDOUS!!!  He was even there in person for Scott Steiner Math and thought this little spectacle was better.

Sadly Robin has to zap his old chum and bring him back to normal.
Batman: "Of course I knew what I was doing, but with my cerebrum short circuited I couldn't stop myself."
He plans to pretend he's still compromised and Robin still captive.
Vince compares Batman's dodging apologizing to Dixie Carter doing the same thing. Even McMahon would apologize. This probably explains why one promoter is still in business with a bad hair dye job and the other is playing with her action figures and/or rewatching The 40 Year Old Virgin since her company is no longer in business (sugah). 

In the Office the Undynamic Duo hear of Batman's "death" without any literal body of proof. They decide to call Robin who's "most likely in the Batcave" to confirm. Of course Alfred picks up instead.
Gordon: "One of our officers was forced to shoot Batman. And the Boy Wonder has become one of Gotham City's ten most wanted men. Boys."
Alfred is confused: earlier Batman earlier remote controlled his Batcomputer from "411 Larva Drive". The policemen think they've found their lair and prepare to mobilize their men to arrive late.

The Bros think Hamilton and Repp were the ones most prone to cause trouble on set, and ask for any Batbloopers. 

At said lair, Widow returns with her haul. "I was adorable as baby Boy Wonder."
Batman: "Robin's pretty good as a Boy Wonder too."
Robin: "You bet I am, Batman!"
This immediately leads to a fight. The goons again try to flee while carrying Robin for some reason while West makes some questionable faces. One of the speech bubbles is a WRONK! reminding RD of AJ Styles facing a "Wronk Stink" on TNA. The Duo trip the goons with a literal rug pull and then zap Widow. Does that make her a White Wife? (I'm not a scientist.)

Gordon (entering): "Batman! Oh, it's really you!"
Batman: "In cape and cowl, Commissioner. Why?"
Gordon: "I'll explain later, but thank heaven!"
Widow is of course pleased to see O'Hara and go to jail with him. "My heart says no but my brain says  yes."
Batman: "I feel it's my responsibility to tell you that you have the constitutional right to consult with our attorney before answering any questions."
Widow: "But I want to answer his questions. (To O'Hara) Sweetheart, I cannot tell you how much you remind me of my dear departed Max."
RD questions the legality of their actions.

At the jail the villains are put under the Brainwave Bat-Analyzer hairdryer.
Widow: "If it really looks good, I'd love to have you come over every day and give me a wash and set."
O'Hara (to Batman): "With all the crime that you and Robin should be out fighting, how do you find time to come here and fix Black Widow's coiffeur?"
Batman: "What we're doing is decriminalizing them. It may take months of treatment, but we feel it's worth a try. If we can permanently short circuit the bad streaks in them, we will make honest useful citizens out of those spidery crooks."

RD: "There is NO WAY. There is no way, no how, this was in any way, shape, or form, legal."

Vince reminds him who the Warden is.

Anyway Widow also wants some wine for her stay. "Divine, darling."

The Bros agree the episode was better than the last one at the very least.

Vince: "Are we rating Tallulah Bankhead?" He gives her 8 Batpoles for being what he considers Hollywood royalty. RD reminds him her credit has a 'Miss'. He gives her a "generous" 0.
Sadly this was her final role, passing away a year later from pneumonia at the too young age of 66.

RD found another "Batvertisement" for British Leyland's Austin Metro from 1987. Vince considers it borderline sacrilege. (:55)

The Arcade now has an Addams Family pinball machine, which "sold more than 20,000 units, making it the best-selling pinball game of all time." Its quality was so good that nobody bought replacements, which didn't help when the pinball market later crashed. (:57)

RD desperately wants to find footage of Nailz against Barry "Repo Man" Darsow at a 1997 WCW house show.

 

• Special Guest Villain: Black Widow (Not the competition's) ((Miss) Tallulah Bankhead)

• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Dangerous and stuff, very timely
• Screen Shares: 2. Vince, RD
  
• Entertain The People: 1
  

Episode 95: Holy Lava!: June 18, 2023

Black Widow Strikes Again
March 15, 1967
"The Black Widow uses her cerebrum short-circuiting device to rob bank after bank in Gotham City. Batman and Robin soon catch up with her, but actually capturing the villainess proves harder than expected. Despite her nerve paralyzer spray, and two remote-control dummies that try to throw the Dynamic Duo off course, they finally make it inside the Black Widow's lair. But soon after entering, they are trapped in a giant web with two deadly black widow spiders."
56 minutes

RD: Prefers Scarlett Johansson. I don't know about that. Like Vince I'm all about the Golden Age beauty if I can help it. (Also like her calling everyone 'dahling' since she was bad at names I too call everyone 'pal'.)

Oh, you meant Black Widows. ... Yes, this is the main sticking point about the character, seeing as Stan Lee helped create her four years earlier (1964), becoming a recurring Avenger two years later. This Black Villain on the other hand was just a one-off.

RD was once again on vacation with the family down in Universal Orlando. This put a delayed toll on the body when he returned home. He tried the Jurassic World VelociCoaster with hungry and enraged velociraptors. The slogan: "What can go wrong?" Mrs. Deal tried to read about it online and could only find certain troll comments. 

Vince: "Speaking of butterbeer,"
RD: "I needed some to get through this show."

Narrator: "Another groovy day in Gotham City and everything seems just right in our teeming metropolis. But there's a new face in the crowd...the face of Black Widow!" (:08)

To further compound the character, she pulls up to a bank branch in a motorcycle with sidecar (as driven by her goon Tarantula) with Other Black Widow's red hourglass symbol on it. RD's friends on Facebook told him it's the actual black widow symbol.

And she got Bookworm's theme, appalling RD.

Inside the bank Widow asks the manager (named Irving Cash) to open a savings account in her name of Mrs. Max Black. She then zaps him with her Cerebrum Short-Circuitor to make him put $30,000 of the vault money in it.

RD: "As a supervillain, that's not much of an ask."

And of course the money comes in a burlap sack with a dollar sign on it. 

Unable to prevent her walking out (I guess his security is just as incompetent as everyone else in town), Cash personally goes to Gordon's Office to report the theft.
Cash: "There was this strange vibration and then I'm handing her thousands. I couldn't stop myself."
O'Hara: "It was as though the devil himself was at work on you."
Gordon: "Or someone just as clever."
He figures out and remembers this is the Black Widow's doing, despite this being her sole appearance. Even the Narrator called her a "new face".
Cash thinks this calls for the "Dynamic Duet", offending the Undynamic Duet to no end.

Narrator: "At this moment, within the walls of stately Wayne Manor, an unveiling is taking place."
Holstered Aunt Harriet hands Dick a pair of her black pants.
Harriet: "I've decided to go mod. Now what do you boys think?"
Bruce: "Tres chic, Aunt Harriet. Every bachelor in Gotham City will be staring."
Harriet: "I wanted to get a miniskirt, but the sales girl wasn't sure I had the face for it."
RD: "What drugs were these people taking?"
Alfred: "Carnaby Street has come to Wayne Manor, madam."
He then attempts to speak what RD considers 'carnie': "Mr. Gordon Commish is calling." Somehow the Duo know what he means and retire to the study to answer the call.
Harriet: "There they go, healthy as normal and I'm such a beatnik."

Even the Duo are confused by the name Black Widow, but nevertheless, "to the Batpoles!"

Gordon: "Black Widow wins her victim's confidence by pretending to open a savings account. Her methods of overpowering include hypnosis, drugs, and other artificial brain stimuli." (:19)
This requires Batman to bring out his hairdryer Brainwave Bat-Analyzer.
Batman: "Judging by her past modus operandi, Robin and I suspect that Black Widow may have short- circuited a portion of Mr. Cash's brain thereby rendering him incapable of making judgments."
Cash: "Oh, this is worse than I thought! First my money, now my brain!"
Batrman: "Easy, citizen."

They put him in the hairdryer Analyzer and flip random switches to determine his cerebellum has been affected. Cash demonstrates this by trying to get up while still in the thing.
Gordon: "That secret weapon of hers, she could clean out every bank in Gotham City, and we'd always be one step behind her."
O'Hara: "Me men are clever, goodness knows, but where the human brain is concerned, they're just not equipped." (Emphasis mine.)
Batman gives Cash two pills to fix his brain damage while O'Hara massages Cash's scalp.

Narrator: "Meanwhile, in the web of an underground grotto somewhere in Gotham City, Black Widow  and her spidery companions are enjoying the fruits of Black Widow's labor of love."

Widow still needs to hit more banks, much to Tarantula's chagrin. Another goon named Trap Door hangs out of a...trap door. "I got lonely."
Other goon Daddy Long Legs: "I don't know how you do it, Blacky. I tried robbing banks when I was  younger but I always got nailed before I was out the door."
Widow: "Happiness can't buy money. Heh. Poor sweet Max."
Cue evil laugh.

In the Batcave the Batcomputer is taking rather a long while on processing data on Widow, much to Robin's impatience.
Batman: "Bother you? It should. (To the camera) Just as it should bother any red-blooded American  citizen who recognizes the law and obeys it."

Meanwhile Widow hits another bank, controlling the manager (Irving Bracken) for $40,000 in unmarked bills.

Robin (reading the print-out): ""Black Widow Lingerie. Black Widow Weeds Removal Service. Black Widow Black Top Company. Black, Widow and Black Attorneys." But not one single bank. Seems to be hung up on the word "black."
Batman: "Maybe the Bat-Analyzing gears need oiling."
Gordon calls to report more robberies.
Batman: "I'm almost tempted to let her...Letter! Give me the names of the banks Black Widow has  robbed."
The list is in alphabetical order (Robin: "No wonder the Batcomputer couldn't figure out her plan, it was too easy!") so the next one will be G.
Batman: "Tell Chief O'Hara and his men to sit on their tuffets, so to speak, and stay away from the  Gotham General Bank and Trust. Repeat, stay away. Robin and I are less likely to frighten this spider  away."

The branch visit gives an excuse to have their window celebrity, a "citizen" teller played by George Raft, another pioneering "gangster" actor. He also had a gimmick of flipping a coin, which he also does here while trying to get the Duo to open an account. They get him to take them to the vault which contains the manager (Irving Leghorn) standing with a Tommy gun. He is so relieved that he jumps on Batman for a hug, which he does not take well. The Duo ask him to "act naturally" when Widow visits, which he takes to continue acting like a complete idiot. 

Of course instead of Widow visiting it's Aunt Harriet, "one of Gotham City's most law-abiding and respected citizens."
Harriet: "All I wanted to do was open a small savings account for my nephew Dick Grayson. There's always Beneficial."

THEN Widow comes in. 
Batman: "So, Black Widow, we finally meet." (emphasis mine)
She tries to zap him.
Batman: "Don't waste your energy, Black Widow. Robin and I have been wearing anti-short circuiting  brain Bat-electrodes since your first day in Gotham City."
So she slowly takes out and sprays a giant Instant Nerve Paralyzer to stun Batman and just walk out. Robin is stunned too so he can't do anything - oh wait, he wasn't. He just stood there like a fucking idiot.
Batman: "Feels...like...a paralyzing dose...of spider venom. ...It should...wear off...presently."

Thankfully he predicted this, and installed in the Batmobile an "odor-sensitometer radar circuit."
Robin (badly dubbed all of a sudden): "Holy olfactory."
Batman: "The oil-and-gas mixture from her motor bike will register on the sensitometer and be picked up as a blip on the radarscope. All we have to do is follow that blip." 

The scent leads to a fake house that opens its secret entrance in a wall to let Widow through just before the Duo show up. (:34) They see an elderly couple on their porch and think they can help.
Widow, seeing this while fully cocooned in her lair, turns on her Dummy Lip Activator to voice the couple who are actually mannequins to try and divert them.
Widow (also badly dubbed): "Say, aren't you that Bat fellow and that Robin fellow who are constantly fighting evil? Keep up the good work. Frank and I are both categorically against evil."
Batman (also badly dubbed): "Thank you, senior citizens."

They return to the Batcave, where of course Batman has recorded the bad ADR on his Bat-Tape Recorder in order to analyze it.  

So they go back to the house. (Holy Padding!) The old "couple" is still there rocking.
Robin: "Three hours and they're still going strong."
Batman: "Thought they'd be off their rockers by now, eh, Robin?"

They linger in finding the secret entrance, allowing Widow to prepare her goons to await them in a game of "spider and the fly" i.e. a fight. Paul goes ham out during this flying all over the set while the audio has more fits. 

Batman: "So, latrodectus mactans, commonly known as Black Widow, caught in your own web, eh?"
Widow: "Oh, there is nothing common about me, Dynamic Doll. And as for being caught in my own  web may I give you a tiny, little piece of advice? If you wish to live and thrive, let the spider run alive."

Since the Duo don't want anyone to stay alive, she activates a giant spider web, trapping the two.

Widow: "Dearheart, you may be caped, and you may be dynamic, but to me you are a crashing bore. So voila. (She summons two horribly fake giant spiders.) I had them skip their dinner so they would thoroughly enjoy  you. And now my lieutenants and I  are going to tunnel into my vault and count our lovely loot."

Cue the Duo doing their best with the "spiders" like they're in an Ed Wood movie.  

Narrator: "Is Black Widow about to succeed where countless other crooks have failed? Or can Black Widow's widows be stopped before dinner? For the answers to these and other creepy questions, tune in tomorrow! Same Bat Time! Same Bat Channel!"

Vince thinks getting Bankhead was a big thing for the show but at the cost of everything else.

RD found another Batvertisement, this one for Lava soap. (:40) Vince wonders why Gordon keeps a spare bar in his desk. RD is amazed the packaging hasn't changed too much over the years. The Bros are tempted to buy some bars. 

RD had reconstructed an arcade machine for the initially unreleased Marble Man: Marble Madness II.

AEW is expanding to five hours a week, adding to WWE's seven. As the Bros point out you can have too much of a good thing (and not just in wrestling).

 

• Special Guest Villain: Black Widow (Not the competition's) ((Miss) Tallulah Bankhead)

• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Butterbeer
• Window Celebrity: 1. George Raft
• Entertain The People: 1
• Screen Shares: 4. RD, Vince, Vince, RD
  

Episode 94: Holy Savings Bonds!: June 11, 2023

53 minutes

RD hasn't changed his title from the last recording, belying they are recording this immediately after that as much as he is still Very Unlike Indian Fakirs. 

Today the Bros will look at some promotions, commercials, public service announcements and clips to see how Batman was promoted over some years until the Burton movies and The Animated Series made him the hero that they deserve (not the one that they need).

• Vince has a framed mountable replica of TV Guide with Batman on the cover.
  
• He also has a framed mountable original of the March 1966 Life Magazine - also with Batman on the cover - that he bought for $10.
• From the National Archives is a rather famous one. (:05) Batman reads a "message" from President Johnson extolling the "boys and girls" to buy savings bonds to support the Vietnam War. Five year old Vince received some bonds which were worth $32. He would have asked his mother to buy some more for him because Batman says so. RD concurs. They wonder if today's superheroes would support today's wars. 
• From 1973, (:10) Batgirl saves the Duo on behalf of the Federal Equal Pay Act (Batman: "No time for jokes Batgirl"). This is despite Craig being paid more than Ward and Batman not being played by West. This really riled up Vince. RD jokes it was his stunt double, or it should have been Alfred. Vince jokes West was not there because he did "not believe that women should be paid equally". Actually he just wanted to distance himself from the role for some reason. Vince looks up a copy on YouTube that listed West as appearing. While researching Hulk Hogan for the first WC book, RD saw an incorrect IMDB credit for Michael Nesmith's Elephant Parts that almost ended up being published. 
• West does appear in a recently discovered item on road crossing awareness (i.e. look both ways before crossing a street) - from the United Kingdom. (:17) He accentuates it by holding a child in his arms for 10 seconds. 
• West did not appear on the Superfriends, so he did not voice Batman teaching Robin how to do the Heimlich Maneuver. (:20) RD wonders how a choking victim would tell someone what to do. If they could talk, why would you need to do it anyway?
• Also animated (from 1984), the Duo have advice on safe skateboarding. (:23) This would not apply to either Bro who never skateboarded as youths. This would not help safety either, as RD would want to skate recklessly so as to be saved by the Duo. Vince was annoyed Robin was voiced by Casey Kasem for some reason. 
• Roving Vince found the time Conan O'Brien remembered the recently passed West (at ComicCon) with some of his more memorable lines from the series. (:27)
• Instead of another PSA RD found an '86 parody ad for Zayre discount stores. (:29) West actually sued over it for $9 million. He lost. Four years later Zayre merged with TJ Maxx's parent company. I don't think those two are related.
• RD found a promo which would run during the original airing (on ABC). (:33) He was particularly amused by the end clip of the Duo shaking hands on a loop. 
• He contrasts this with one during its run in syndication. (:38) The Bros reminiscence on syndication and their attempts to record them on tape. 
• RD then compares them to one on cable's Family Channel (now known as Freeform) recorded in 90's VHS fidelity. (:44) Cable's penchant to sometimes cut scenes to fit within 22 minutes on runtime made the Bros forget Catwoman's cameo during Ma Parker's story.

For his efforts Vince gives his friend applause. 

RD enjoyed writing about a shock win by Barry Horowitz.

RD thinks CM Punk's return to AEW could work if he fought everyone as soon as he arrived. However as he doesn't think that will happen he doesn't expect success. 

Then RD almost gets disconnected from the call.

• Entertain The People: 2
  
• Screen Shares: 10. RD, RD, RD, RD, RD, Vince, RD, RD, RD, RD

Episode 87: Holy Lake!: April 23, 2023

Legends of the Superheroes (1979)
"A teamup of some of DC Comics' greatest superheroes together, for 2 specials: a race to stop the united supervillains' plot to destroy the earth, then later a roast in tribute to all of the heroes hosted by Ed McMahon."
The Challenge
"The superheroes only have one hour to find Dr. Silvana's Doomsday Machine before it destroys all life on Earth. Their only leads are clues left by the arch villains, each one of which might be a trap."
49 minutes

RD is Not 4'6" since he is no longer in Vince's studio. He puts over Vince's old man. Vince puts over RD's muscles. 

RD wonders why the villains want to get rid of everyone else. Vince wonders if they had any women to accompany them besides Giganta. Also they were supposedly going to lure the Justice League with a riddle. Also the Justice League was supposed to meet up at a gas station.

Instead we have the Dynamic Duo in a breaking apart fake Batcycle after running away. RD: "Maybe they should have renamed Robin Chicken." 

Back at the gas station "Women in Phone Booth" watches Hawkman fighting and getting beat up by Solomon Grundy who ties him to a forklift. (:11)

Black Canary then makes her entrance on her motorcycle in a very curvaceous look. Grundy defeats her and also ties her to the forklift.

In the Lair Riddler has now changed into a Great War fighter pilot for some reason.
Riddler: "If Shakespeare had had my mind, there's no telling how far he might have gone."
He might even rename himself the Puzzler!

Then back to...footage of Captain Marvel "flying" (in the most generous use of the term). Then cut to Huntress running through a park. Then cut to Marvel just walking. He reads some signs making him doubt himself. This summons Riddler dressed still as a fighter pilot as a psychiatrist with a beard and random British accent.

Vince reads the IMDB pages for some reason. His reading of one confuses RD fleetingly.

Marvel tells about his problems while he and Riddler are in the woods. All of a sudden Riddler becomes Yosemite Sam. 

All of a sudden Vince finds a print ad for casting for the special. Oddly, while Superman and Wonder Woman could not be included due to rights issues, Aquaman could - but he wasn't. 

Anyway, this is all part of Riddler's plan to relay the Lair's location (in a lake) rather than just telling him outright. Marvel figures it out anyway, and goes to the gas station to challenge Grundy in...tire throwing. (:23) Actually since they threw really far, Marvel uses the distance to send Grundy off to 'check', thus winning by default. He unties his two colleagues.

Woman in Phone Booth somehow knows that they want a lake and where it is. Canary uses her power of...shouting really loudly to draw in the others. 

Everyone gathers at the lake, annoying Mordru to no end. RD: "You wanted them to find you!" (:25)

So Mordru unleashes his secret weapon...a lemonade stand.

Of course the heroes trustingly and openly drink some. Well actually there is a reason. It's even worse.
Sivana: "Lemonade, mister? Only five cents a glass!"
Marvel: "I don't have time for that now, son."
Sivana: "Oh please sir, please. My ma is sick, and I'm raising my brother and sister, and were gonna get evicted tomorrow and my father's in jail and my grandma croaked and they wouldn't bury my grandma until I come up with the money."
Marvel: "Alright, here. Keep the change."

The heroes are thus unaware of the secret ingredient that would dampen their superpowers. Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves to make a fair fight. 

The Dynamic Duo don't have any so they just drive straight into the lake which somehow puts them on jet skis. Mordru gets his own jet skis, some disco music plays on the soundtrack, Flash gets a canoe, Lantern and Marvel get rowing, and the women have...a paddle boat.

Everyone is conveniently at last in the Lair.
Riddler: "Gentlemen: we've had our fun, the game is done, the heroes we've outclassed./It proves what we've always said: nice guys finish last."
The villains decide to have celebratory martinis...with the secret ingredient inside it. Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves because they're all idiots.

Cue what RD considers the worst fight he ever did see because everyone is just fighting normally, despite Robin going on all fours for a schoolboy trip. Of course the heroes stop the device (to applause) and defeat their foes and Batman carries Riddler on his shoulders.

"Hours later" Retired Man tries to fly away...but he's so old he cannot. 

The End.

Vince did not see the Roast because his disc has a bug preventing him from playing it. He wonders why in the ads for that West and Ward did not get much promotion beyond a small byline. (:32)

However Vince wants to go back to the regular series for a bit first since he didn't really like it. He wonders what West would want from this appearance (besides money and a chance to revive Batman). RD ascertains that for Vince to open his "tape world" CD Warehouse it too would take a lot of money.

RD checked to be sure that Laugh-In was around his time.

RD is overseeing big rotational changes to the Arcade.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [6+1] (Frank Gorshin) [5+1]

• Screen Shares: 2. Vince, Vince
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Shouting
  
• Window Celebrity: 2. Jeff Altman, Marsha Warfield
  

 

Episode 77: Holy Survey!: February 5, 2023

All Star Family Feud: Gilligan's Island vs Batman (1983)
63 minutes

RD: Not One of 100 Surveyed. Give him the X.

As you may guess, this is something completely different from the regular television progrem. For one thing this was 1983. Recent college graduate Vince had just married. Teenage RD wanted to be Simon LeBon. This particular recording also has the commercials, broadcast from Cambridge, Massachusetts' own WLVI (Channel 56). 

First RD has to explain what Family Feud is. 

One of the other competing All Star TV shows was the timely Hawaiian Eye (1959 - 1963), starring Robert Conrad and being the first of its crime/procedural shows located there.

Competing for Gilligan's Island are:

• Alan Hale Jr. (The Skipper Jonas Grumby) being quite excited to be there with his hat
  
• "Uncle" Jim Backus (Thurston Howell III) seated due to a backstage injury
  
• Nataie Schafer (Eunice "Lovey" Howell)
• Russell Johnson (The Professor Roy Hinkley)
• Dawn Wells (Mary Ann Summers)

Tina "Ginger Grant" Louise was absent. So was Gilligan! (Richard Dawson gave an ending "Hello Bob Denver, wherever you are.")

Representing for Batman "as they are today" in one of those old photo settings are:

• Adam West (Batman)
• Lee Meriwether (Movie Catwoman)
  
• Yvonne Craig (Batgirl)
• Burt Ward (Robin)
• Vincent Price (Egghead) selling being choked by Craig

Dawson, wearing a huge bowtie, greets the Islanders first. To Backus: "I understand you wanted a stunt check for this show." He still keeps to his gimmick of shaking the mens' hands and kissing the womens' faces, including poor Wells three times to the point of actual kissing.

West (wearing teenage RD's glasses): "We're playing for World Vision. That's a...charity, that...helps...needy children...all over the world."
RD: "That sounded like a total scam."
They've already won $5,520, surprising RD with the low 2023 numbers of $16,500. To be fair, current Celebrity Feud teams playing for charity can win up to $25,000 in one day, so it is not that big of a gap. Though instead of Dawson throwing himself all over the women, it's Steve Harvey practicing his flustered face at some of the responses. 

West (introducing Meriwether): "Lee Anne Meriwether, one of the worst villainesses to ever walk Gotham City...and...Miss America at some point."
She meows in response.
Then there's the "young" Craig who gave "such humor on the set". Then there's "the taller half - I mean the tougher half of the crimefighting Duo". Then there's "Mr. Vincent Price, one of the most horrible people ever". 

Meriwether really gets into it, giving Dawson a kiss for each family member, then one from her straight on the lips. Dawson: "You have any more family members?" Unsurprisingly Craig is quite peeved out, giving only a slight peck and immediately wiping her upper lip. RD has to do math to find she would have been 46 then, five years younger than Dawson (and still looking good). He doesn't help things by looking under their table at their legs. 

Ward mentions his business across the border in good old Montreal, being rather timid for some reason. Dawson thinks he needs a fee for helping promote it. Dawson is believable when he calls Price the nicest guy on the planet. Cue Price messing around for fun by marking a lollipop handle's tip black for further charity (of a $100). But it's the other team who has a winning one.

The Bros have spent 21 minutes talking about 8 minutes of a half hour show.

Anyway. Give me West. Give me Hale. 100 people surveyed. Top five answers on the board. Name something people buy before boarding a plane.
Vince: "A magazine."
RD: "Food."
West: "A ticket."
That's #3.
Hale: "Dramamine." (Anti-air sickness pills.)
That's #4, so West chooses to play after Ward shouts "GO FOR IT!". 

Meriwether: "Luggage."
Strike 1. Dawson mocks her for this by pretending to carry clothes. "If you do this, people will be laughing at my jockey shorts."
Craig: "Insurance."
That's #1, worrying the Bros on what people were flying on. To be sure, people were also heavily buying it during the heyday of the pandemic.
Ward: "Souvenirs."
Strike 2.
Ward: "RATS!"
Price: "Something to read."
That's #2.
West: "A toy."
Dawson: "What?"
West: "For the children."
Strike 3. West gestures in confusion.

For their chance to steal, the Islanders guess candy or gum. That's #4, winning them $90 (for $190). Vince thinks they should have been disallowed for giving two answers. Gum was the correct response, but Vince knows they would have chosen candy. 

Cut to commercial and a man having a nightmare because he's missing Miracle Whip for his sandwich. RD loved it when younger. Vince still hates all kinds of mayonnaise.
Cue another commercial for National Enquirer, of all things. RD reenacts the narration. 

Backus is not leaving his seat for Round 2. (:29) He gets a buzzer at their table, as he is up against Meriwether. 100 people surveyed. Top seven answers on the board. Name the most relaxing thing you do.
RD: "Lay in bed."
Vince: "Sleep."
Meriwether: "Watch TV."
#4.
"Uncle Jim": "Make love."
Dawson would give some money for that response even if it wasn't on the board at #5. The Batmen choose to play.

Craig: "Take a hot bath."
Dawson salivates at the thought, which is #3.
Ward: "Listening to relaxing music."
#6.
Price: "There's nothing I find more relaxing than gardening."
Everyone is surprised despite it not being a bad answer. Sadly it's a Strike
West: "Sleeping."
Of course it's #1.
Meriwether: "I read Vincent Price's books."
#2, although I would have put Price's books exclusively at #1 if I could.
Craig: "Get a massage."
Cue Dawson again, though it's Strike 2.
Ward: "I'd go for a walk in the park."
Good answer, although it's not up there either.
Ward: "RATS!"

The Islanders' attempt "have a drink." Sadly it's not up there. #7 is instead sunbathe.
Dawson: "Yes, sunbathe. Then have a drink. Then make love. We'll be right back."

Cue commercial for Heinz 57 Sauce. RD found the smell awful.
No Nonsense Pantyhose goes completely 80s in its look. Wrote RD: "THIS IS SO HOT." Vince: "There were a lot of chicks, but there was one main chick." (The one with the short hair.) RD gives her 7.5 Batpoles. Vince gives her a "solid" 8.
Then there is a commercial for Benson, starring the dearly missed Robert Guillaume, who would later voice The Lion King's Rafiki. Of course RD has to retell his time he couldn't meet Rafiki on his banana break.
Speaking of stress with children, you can call the Parental Stress Hotline, assuming the image of a child laying in a prison bar style crib doesn't scare you off.

For Round 3 (:39) Craig and Schafer face off. 100 people surveyed. Top five answers on the board. Name something you bring into the bedroom for a day when you are sick in bed.
Vince: "Chicken soup."
RD/Craig: "Medicine."
Unfortunately that is not up there.
Schafer: "A book."
That's #2, so the Islanders get to play.

Johnson: "The telly."
That's #1. Vince reminds that the TVs back then were still barely a foot long and put on carts.
Wells: "Food."
#3.
Hale: "Bed tray."
Cue confused Dawson. Also it's not up there.
Backus: "Radio for some soothing music."
Not up there either.
Schafer: "Cards so we can play solitaire."
Ah, the 80s. Also Strike 3.

For their chance to steal the Batmen have tissues/Kleenex. A good answer - but also not up there. That would be a humidifier/vaporizer and a telephone. Neither had a vaporizer in their youth, only salves. And RD didn't even have Vicks! Now his wife has oils for that.

Round 4 (:44) has "Robin vs. the Professor from Gilligan's Island." RD: "I've always wanted to say that." 100 people surveyed. Top four answers on the board. Name an actor or actress who is also a political activist.
RD/Vince: "Ronald Reagan."
Johnson: "Jane Fonda."
Top answer, so they play.

Wells: "Paul Newman."
#3.
Hale doesn't have anything, just some almost submitted babbles of confusion. A non answer is an automatic Strike (usually when the time expires in normal matches).
Backus: "Ronald Reagan, and God bless him."
#4, and confirming for certain his views. And I'm sure Howell was a conservative too.
Schafer: "Ed Asner."
That is #2, giving them the clean sweep of the board and the win. Batman and company will still play tomorrow against Lost In Space, a show that RD hasn't seen yet.
Wells and Johnson will go for the Lightning Round/Fast Money, giving Dawson an excuse to uncomfortably hold and kiss her to lead into the commercial break.

SPEAKING OF WOMEN, here's advertising for Woman's Day magazine about the "shock of rabies" and 200 calorie cheesecakes (which is even more of a shock if it doesn't involve NutraSweet).
This is followed by (Madge's) Palmolive dishwashing liquid that's soft on hands as demonstrated with a very tiny bowl.
Then there's a commercial for Fab fabric softener with state of the art computer graphics of drawn static electricity.
Then SPEAKING OF NutraSweet, there's something for sugar free Jell-O, which was never really my thing regardless of content. 

Wells is up first for another kiss, her fifth today. (:50) She has 15 seconds (now 20 today) for answering five questions. RD will also go first for the purposes of this progrem.

• Name a foreign country that sex symbols come from. RD: "France." Wells: "Italy." 22 (of 100 surveyed) also named that.
  
• An animal big game hunters hunt. RD: "Elephant." Wells: "Deer." Somehow that gets 17.
• A fabric evening gowns are made of. RD: "Silk." Wells: "Chiffon." 12.
• A position on a baseball team. RD: "Catcher." Wells: "Pitcher." An obvious #1 with 47.
• A chocolate food. RD: "Chocolate bar." Wells: "Hot fudge sundae." 2. 

This all adds up to an exact 100, halfway to the 200 needed which Johnson needs to get (despite not getting any kisses). He gets 20 seconds (25 today). He also moves around randomly during his part, which Dawson notes he did on the last show.

• Name a foreign country that sex symbols come from. Vince: "Sweden." Johnson: "France." #1 answer at 35.
  
• An animal big game hunters hunt. Vince: "Lion." Johnson: "Tiger." 9. Vince's was the #1 answer.
  
• A fabric evening gowns are made of. Vince: "Cotton, probably." (He can't choose silk since that was a repeat answer.) Johnson: "Silk." 12. #1 answer at 37.
• A position on a baseball team. Vince: "Outfielder." (He can't pick Catcher or Pitcher.) Johnson: "First Base." 10.
• A chocolate food. Vince: "Cake." Johnson: "Cake." #1 answer at 54, pushing them over 200! This calls for a celebration, brought to you by...

Nuprin Pain Relief Formula, with this marvelous ingredient called ibuprofen.
Once you feel better you can polish and wax your surfaces with Endust.
And after you clean your house you can go back to school with some horrendous clothes from JCPenney. 

One last return to the game show. Batman's total is now $5,705, while Gilligan's has $10,970. RD still doesn't like the low numbers. Everyone shakes hands and celebrates. 

Vince feels like Abe Simpson yelling at the sun because they don't have things like this in the current day. "What happened to all this stuff? What happened?" He also feels for the actors who had negative thoughts about being typecast in those roles (except for Price, who has definitely transcended his genre even now). On the other hand, as RD notes, there is a rebound now with people now recognizing and celebrating the actors and their roles, no matter the situation.

RD wants to eventually do the next day's show with Lost In Space. 

Remember when Wardlow beat up 20 men and potentially dashed his chances beyond his control? 

RD and Rupert's Kids are doing their own Celebrity Family Feud thing in Shelbyville. He doesn't know if they will be facing Hawaiian Eye.

RD Dawson kisses Julie Newmar's picture on his Batman cup.

• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Great stuff, Hawaiian Eye, great shows
  

Special Round - Man Called Cheatum: August 4, 2022

40 minutes

"I <3 Cheatum" (don't we all) is giddy in introducing Vince to some of WCW's finest theatrical productions featuring an evil one-eyed midget. Vince was at one of the matches (at Halloween Havoc 1992) but didn't remember watching the actual video or any material leading up to them. 

• :03 First Medusa walks through a very dark set to enter a bar with a dry ice floor to Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (with Cheatum). Cue Jake Roberts arching his eyebrows.
• In enters the man they call Sting. Vince thought it was Jeff Jarrett. 
• He and Roberts trade words as the bar patrons look back and forth like a tennis match.
  
• Vince: "This acting leaves a lot to be desired."
• Sting: "You think I'm afraid of some wheel?"
• He spins the wheel, then has it as a backdrop as he and Jake stand still and face to face, allowing the production "crew" to draw electrical wires/lightning bolts/laser beams from their eyes before an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
• The reel reminds you that Halloween Havoc 1992 will be on Sunday October 25th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
  
• Of course Vince thinks it's tremendous, but it wouldn't have caused him to go to the match just by itself.
• Vince does not know how to mute his Discord notification alerts. (For the record, it's in User Settings - Notifications.)
  
• :10 Next is the White Castle of Fear (not sliders). Sting gets into a tiny helicopter. While over stock footage of the Rocky Mountains he has visions of Big Van Vader standing in front of a wind machine blowing snow from the side. 
• Sting: "Could this be some sort of trap?"
• He checks the rolled up parchment that Vader wrote his invitation on for some reason. RD: "I really need one of those on the wall."
• Vince: "These are gems, bro!"
• Sting enters an extravagant set where people loaf around eating amidst dry ice fog.
• Vader breaks a mirror by shouting and shadow boxing at it, then enters with a laughing Harley Race to trade their own words while Cheatum keeps asking to Play the Game Play the Game.
• The two combatants then tug of war with a strap (is that the Game to Play?) over an open fire. The strap dramatically snaps as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
  
• The reel reminds you that Superbrawl III will be on Sunday February 21st and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
• Vince can't believe he never learned or was clued in about them during his tenure in the company.
• :16 Finally there is the one for Beach Blast 1993 on WCW Saturday Night (June 19th), the piece that made RD fully want to start WrestleCrap, for good or bad. Nominally it's to be for a tag team match of Sting and Davey Boy Smith vs. "The Masters of the Powerbomb" Vader and Sid Vicious (with Race and Colonel Robert Parker).
• "Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico" Sid stands confused with the rest of the heel contingent. They point to an "island" where Sting and Smith are playing beach volleyball with some random people (or "orphans" as they call them for some reason).
• Sting expresses his joy in scoring a point by letting out a tiny "woooo." I think Ric Flair would have a word or two on that.
  
• The heels all laugh manically as they discuss their plans.
• Cue Cheatum snorkeling right next to the beach with a shark fin and carrying a water cooler as someone attempts the expected music on a synthesizer: "My name is JAWS! Now you girls get on outta here!" 
• He then puts an alarm clock "bomb" on a speedboat.
• The "orphans" say some lines woodenly as the heels arrive on one of those amphibious landing craft.
• Sid shows off the flip-flops he's wearing with the rest of his wrestling outfit.
• Cue some more howlers from the wrestlers as an attempt at a western showdown is played on the synthesizer. When they get up close another randomly strums on a guitar. 
• Parker offers the faces "two tickets to the retirement haven of your choice". Sting considers it as he repeats the stats of their opponents. 
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" looking sad.
• The faces decide to go on with the match anyway.
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay".
• The heels make more threats and laughter. 
• The faces decide to continue their volleyball anyway.
• The two girls tell Sting of "a funny guy hanging around the boat". Then they tell Smith of "a guy hanging around the boat going click-click-click."
• Smith rushes to the speedboat and pushes the two off just as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
• Cue "orphans" looking sad.
• The two then spring up from the water arms raised.
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay". Again.
• The reel reminds you that Beach Blast will be on Sunday July 18th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
• Vince thought it was "very early 90-ish" but thought if it was the work of Bischoff and actual writers at Turner, then it was ahead of his time. RD can agree although he's not sure if he would include Cheatum or such heel plans. Vince would reenact it though, including with Cheatum.
• :30 In turn Vince has Ultimate Warrior being...selectively edited during a shoot interview. It's still more legible than any public promo or speech. Vince would play it before every creative meeting as an energizing icebreaker (outside WWF). 
• Vince loved the old Mr. Fuji and Muraco sketches, especially Fuji Vice. 
• RD thinks AEW's reels and skits are greatly influenced from such vignettes, even if sometimes in parody (the sincerest form of flattery). (:35) The originals were campy but unintentionally went to downright hilarity. Vince is of course reminded of Batman. (Holy Shark Fin!)
  
• RD still has yet to find Cheatum in any way shape or form, serious or otherwise. 
• Vince plans to have some of the clips on a new show he will do with Disco Inferno.
  
• Next up for Vince: AWA's private show for Kellogg's.
  

Round Five - A Christmas Carol: December 16, 2021

52 minutes

"Santa Deal is Coming to Town". He uses the excuse to play the old dogs barking Jingle Bells. "DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!" Vince played it constantly as a kid. He gives RD applause for the same. Their wives don't celebrate Christmas as much as they do. The men also have the lights on only at night. Vince gives more applause. 

As is the season, the two will debate Christmas songs. 

• Young RD was captivated by the Time-Life Treasury of Christmas ads until he remembered he could buy it at 24. (:09)
• Vince cannot get enough of Faith Hill's Where Are You Christmas despite being from The Grinch. RD reminds Vince of the movie's awfulness. 
• Christmas Mariah Carey makes RD think of his wife. Vince gives him applause. His second would be White Christmas. He has yet to find a good version to his liking of What Child Is This. Vince doesn't like it in general.
  
• He believes his Patreons would know Danny Kaye from Christmas Vacation. 
• He shows Vince his older brother in a Griswold sweater putting up his decorations. Vince doubts its veracity at first. (:19)
• Vince's second is John Lennon's War Is Over. He remembers when it was sung on SNL with Sean Lennon on guitar.
  
• He pulls up a Christmas sketch from 2000 SNL for RD to stare too close to the screen at. (:25)
• As for hated songs, RD's is Santa Baby. Vince pulls up Eartha Kitt's cover to try and change his mind. RD responds with Cyndi Lauper and Rosie. Vince: "Catchy tune, man."
• Young RD would also trick his stepmother by looping The Night Before Christmas.
• Vince only loves Baby It's Cold Outside if sung by Dean Martin. RD doesn't mind it by Sammy Davis Jr and Carmen McRae. (:34) One version had two children singing it which appalled him. 
• RD has Vince search for Jillian Hall which he does without spaces.
• Vince loves Christmas in Colorado in song and living form. 
• If he only had one LP RD would stick with Bing Crosby. Vince would be John Lennon (without the Muppets). 
• Mrs. Deal likes Elton John's Step Into Christmas like Vince. (:43) He has difficulty pulling it up for some reason.
• RD wants to know what a Hard Candy Christmas is. Vince doesn't know either. 

Vince had a tough time getting all the family together in the one place. RD believes with hope that his son will never leave the house.  Last year they had the Christmas congregation outside in the cold. "My brother lives on a farm, I don't."

296 Cam-Eye: July 23, 2020

Eye Quit!

109 minutes

Blade prepared himself by remembering a number. RD uses his degree in broadcast journalism to do bad impersonations.

Blade wants someone to write them a script for one episode, which they won't follow because it won't fit on a paper plate. (:06)

Blade entertains the people. (:08) RD wants to bribe people to listen. His Etsy shop has a new name.

RD is discovering the power of grocery delivery and item substitution...from Kroger. This scares Blade. (:17) His favorite United Dairy Farmers' Chocolate Chip was replaced by Toffee & Chip. This possesses Mama for some reason. (:24)

Sebastian Bach, formerly of Skid Row and not the WCR Quartet, has beef with Chris Jericho "miming" for some reason. (:25) Cue Jericho promoing against him. Cue Bach wanting a fight. Blade has to read things without Satan/Stan to do so. They play something of Jericho proving himself by copying RD. RD gongs him. He then does his own attempt on Ricky in his Nathaniel impression. He gongs himself. Blade then does his own attempt on I Remember You by fucking it up immediately. RD gongs him. His second attempt goes slightly better. RD gongs him again anyway. Blade makes excuses.

Miss Elizabeth has a new action figure. There's no word on whether it also functions as an ATM. (:38) While in the UK earlier in the year (before the rest of the year happened) Blade was surprised how many people did not like her by not buying her doll. Wendi Richter too also has a new action figure. Blade finds himself stymied by not being able to offend like he used to. He once saw a Richter pencil eraser. LJN was once to make a Haiti Kid figure.

Mickie James wants to "run" for "president" in news already reported on by Raging_Demons...somewhere. (:44) Will her agenda be based on trains running on time and a free horse for everyone? RD does his Jeff Foxworthy impression if possible. He thinks of making the site more redneck since he can't fully escape his hillbilly roots. I reckon.

As already reported on...by me, Tam has been arrested. (:48) Even worse, some of her OnlyFans stuff was leaked before that. What a shock. RD expects her to pop back soon, and if so to come after Blade since he's a "reporter".

Blade's royalty checks are being sent to an old address. (:56) Sean C. McLaughlin of Facebook has a question about Cody. So of course the two discuss Rebel instead. Blade has a short attention span. What a shock. RD finds Maryse more attractive nowadays as a mother (MHLF?).

The two's dismissive opinion on Randy "Cody" Orton is unchanged. RD looks up the ever accurate Wikipedia to read more about him that one time he was with Ted DiBiase Jr., Sim Snuka, and Cody. The two cough dryly at this. RD: "Poor Sim Snuka. I don't even know who he is."

Who would run gallop with Mickie James? (:68) RD wants the Deever, $20 on Cameo Jackie Gayda, and Taryn Terrell. Blade wants the Deever's bad impression on Cameo, Jim Crockett, Demolition Axe (not Smash?), Trish Stratus, and the Black Scorpion who can make the debt disappear (or transform it into a tiger).

As expected the two are distracted by who is on Cameo, including $20 Shelly Martinez and $50 Vince Russo.

RD skips ejaculating to Ken Pantera swinging so he can play Higher or Lower on Cameo instead of pretending to talk about wrestling news. (:84)

• Lita $100 < Rikishi $109 (Blade is 0 of 1)
• Bret Hart $150 > Kevin Nash $105 (0/2)
• Torrie Wilson $65 < Baron von Raskhe $125 (0/3)
• Diamond Dallas Page $90 < Tatanka Buffalo $100 (1/4)
• Ted DiBiase $75 < Ryback $100 (2/5)

WWE is seeing TNA level ratings such that Vince (McMahon) may also have to be on Cameo. Blade was lucky to miss the latest PPV so RD has to fill him in on what transpired for some reason (since he had to suffer through it on his own). In response Blade declares his secession from the WWE Universe.

Speaking of low ratings, let Mike Check tell you about helicopters once again. (:96) For some reason he did not like Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters in the Mork & Mindy market (perhaps due to it being in space sometimes with that Popeye impression of his, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk). In Phoenix's KLPS Lips 103, he was Duncan Jones, he had to fly a helicopter there with Sandy Roberts, and together they did the Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Weather Report. This makes Blade cough with laughter. He leaves with a request from a "Dominick" for Willie Nelson.

Par for the course, with this show your hopes will have to wait:
Eye For An Eye match.
Book another one next year.
Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To/Coasty Marshmellow, Troma Dance 2020, Skyline Drive Thru
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Mimingtoatape.com
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Patreon and WrestleCrapRadio.com, drive in movie theaters, hot, someone reckon their lives.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Mike Check
  

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  5
• Blade Time Outs:  14 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps:  4
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  4
• You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Sean C McG
  
• AEW Dynamite is supposed to have a surprise opponent for Cody and maybe more.  What won’t be the surprise? Sim Snuka (RD) or Randy Orton (Blade).
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  If Mickie James runs for President, who should her running mate be?
• RD:  Taryn Terrell, Jackie Gayda, Layla El
• Blade:  Black Scorpion, Demolition Ax, Trish Stratus (previously Jim Crockett)

 

• Hi Lo Cameo!  The game where you pick who you think charges more.
• Lita or Rikishi?  Blade:  Lita.  Incorrect.
• Bret Hart or Kevin Nash? Blade:  Nash.  Incorrect.  
• Torrid Wilson or Baron Von Raschke? Blade:  Torrie Wilson. Incorrect.
• DDP or Tatanka (Buffalo)? Blade:  Tatanka. Correct.
• Ted DiBiase or Ryback? Blade:  Ryback. Correct.

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  KLPS Lips 103 (Phoenix, AZ)
• Radio Call Sign:  Duncan Jones 
• Partner: Sandy Roberts
  
• Show:  Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Traffic Report
• Song:  "In My Mother’s Eyes" by Willie Nelson 

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Take two?
  Eye For An Eye match.
  Book another one next year.
  Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.
  

295 eBay at the Beach: June 30, 2020

RD: "Was fun till Sunny"

75 minutes

RD wanted to wait things out for a few days due to current events. That took longer than expected.

Then Blade got a brutal ear infection. That didn't help either.

Driven to the brink and at the last minute, they decide to cut their losses and record now. It technically still counts as June, right?

According to their (barnyard) logic, if King Kong Bundy always insisted on a 5-count for his matches, then Hulk Hogan should have always kicked out at 4.

Blade has a habit of bowling with smoke bombs on July 4th. (:08) RD: "Thanks for explaining how the calendar works."

Thus, today's pressed for time radio progrem consists of the two just going through eBay auctions (keyword 'wcw'). (:14) Blade wants to search by proximity for some reason despite being in no condition to perform.

• Blade: Three Sting figures for $38.50 (all prices are USD). 
• A 1999 DDP with magnetic grip. 
• RD: An 8 inch 1997 Sting. 
• Random computer games including WCW Nitro and something called "Airplanes" which is actually a demo disc for Wings of Glory (produced by Warren Spector!). RD rightfully calls it a ripoff. 
• Blade: A $10 Goldberg VHS tape.
• RD: 61 figures for $195.
• 53 figures with DVDs (do any of them contain Goldberg?)
• A $98 1993 Sid Vicious figure. A "mountain of muscle" with half the brain that you do.
• Blade: A figure of Jimmy Hart in a yellow suit masquerading as Hulk Hogan.
• A vibrating Scott Hall figure infested with fleas.
• RD: 10 miles from his house (but with free shipping): A rain-covered baby carrier.
• VHS tapes for $45.
• A tape of Wrestlewar '89 for $19.
• Blade: 30 miles from his trailer: Brian Pillman and Chris Benoit masquerading as D-X.
• More vibrating figures of Andre the Giant and Kevin Nash.
• RD: Scott Hall with Toad shaped chest hair.
• A "loose" Fabulous Moolah (but does she vibrate?).
• Blade: 50 miles from his trailer: A Fall Brawl / WarGames 1995 Snapback hat for the low low price of $130.
• "Sold Cut" Kevin Nash (no word on if he's portrayed by a fake Diesel). 
• RD found a seller of autographed cards. He makes Blade guess some of their prices (for 2014). Stan Lane: $17. Kevin von Erich: $35. Booker T: $9. Eric Bischoff: $20. "James E. Cornette": $38 (Does not come with sexual harassment as illustrated). Terri Runnels: $20 (Does not come with handgun or scam house as illustrated). A Konnan scribble: $11. Dennis Condrey: "only" $9. A Ryan Shamrock illustration where Blade thinks her nose is too unhealthily red: $20. 

The two then go international. Blade will search by highest price first, RD by lowest.

• Blade: $12000 for a "bundle" of video wrestling footage.
• RD: 75¢ auction for "1991 Championship Marketing WCW #10 Sid Vicious Wrestling Card" with the man tied down with plastic. He bids on it.
• $1 1995 Jerry Sags with a picture of Brian Knobbs.
• Blade: $9999.99 + $5 shipping MINT 9 1988 Lex Luger rookie card.
• $8000 for a sealed VHS "private collection". Includes a German version of Road Wild '96, or as they call it, "Wild in Sturgis '96". RD sneezes as his bid.
• $7500 1995 WCW Main event Nasty Boys rookie card.
• RD: 99¢ Hollywood & Vine as Steve Austin. He wants to put that on one of his coasters.
• $1.69 1999 Brian Knobbs card.
• Blade: $5500 WrestleMania 6 Bobby Heenan Jacket.
• $5000 GEM-MT 10 Kimberly Page rookie card.

Since they're on the subject, the two then look for Tam stuff (to have fun with).

• Blade: $1500 for a "superstars 1 of 100" figure. This is the highest priced.
• The next item is $800 (also a superstars figure).
• Then $500 (ditto).
• Then $320 for a WWF 1998 Calendar CD that Blade already has.
• Then $130 for a "Sunny & Sid Ahmed Johnson Signed WWF WWE 1997 Bend-Ems Action Figure Set".
• RD: There is no Sunny within 95 miles of his house (thankfully). 165 miles from his house: A 1998 "Get Pumped" Deadstock shirt for $200.
• A 1996 Sunny Days print ad for a life management program for $2.30. RD: "I don't want her in charge of anything."
• A $5 Sunny in Chains photo from Australia.
• A 1996 Sunny Daze Collection print ad for $8.
• A completed listing from Fort Mitchell, Kentucky for an "Absolutely Sunny" shirt. Sold on the 13th for $50 despite the lack of a chin.

Blade: "Pretend I'm your father."

RD does the Haiku since Blade is still in no condition to perform:
What a show this was.
To be honest, was not bad.
Was fun till Sunny.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Smokebombbowling.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Worst ear infection of all time.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  3
  
• Blade Time Outs: 4 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Under the weather Blade reaches to RD for the hot tag on the haiku this week:
  What a show this was.
  To be honest, was not bad.
  Was fun till Sunny.

 

The Audio Mailbag: January 30, 2020

62 minutes

Blade is currently in the UK being drunk while in a gutter filming yet another horror movie, so RD has to once again do things all by himself (any more) in order to fulfill his monthly obligations. This gives him the opportunity to reminisce the early days of the site where he used to reply to people's questions (and before he recreated it on the radio progrem just so he could make fun of the questioners). From that it led him to ECW Press and his eventual books and his friendship with Bryan Alvarez, and his friendship with Blade winning him over as the Black Scorpion by the power of FedEx.

But first, RD FINALLY has an opportunity to talk about wrestling! Blade is not around to interrupt five times in a row with bad jokes or whatever. (:09)

• He thought the recent Royal Rumble was alright, even if was a bit too long. 
• He did have the time at least to write about Kurt Angle's final match with Baron Corbin, of all people. The Human Jigglypuff had a horrible match with Roman Reigns. 
• The Women RR featuring Molly Holly was alright, but he misses seeing more and older people.
• The other matches also went well more or less. RD finds Kairi Sane cute, as do we all, and thinks she can do much better escaping WWE.
• The Men RR with MVP and Brock Lesnar throwing out people constantly was as he expected. He understands why he was eliminated, but not if Drew McIntyre is up to the challenge to face him.
• He wishes Edge (ED GE/Redger) would return with Vickie Guerrero.
• AEW is still a blast, both old and new folks alike. MJF, Darby Allen, and Sammy Guevara are particular standouts to him.
• Even NXT is having some fun.
• Overall, some of his enjoyment of the genre has returned.

That out of the way, RD dives into his Facebook thread of questions.

• One fellow, Paul LaParka (not Paul O’Parka), sent him an audio question asking who would play the Co-Fruitcakes in their movie. (:24) Obviously Blade will be played by Al Pacino as Tommy Michigan of course. RD wants the most boring actor he can find, but instead decides David Schultz as himself would do much better.
• Ron Motta asked about his earliest wrestling memory. He ties it into his love of video games; someone he asked to come over was watching wrestling instead, so he first watched the British Bulldogs which hooked him before Bobby Heenan further sealed the deal.
• Andy Denyer wants Bryan to appear on the show
• Jason Lindsey remembers the Big Nippled Vampire.
• Matthew Fox asks about She-Ra.
• Kurt George Lewis thinks the King of the Ring should be a defended title. RD disagrees. Richard Gottfried wonders what happened to Mabel's belt.
• Ryan Goodman loved the old Mailbag. He didn't phrase it in the form of a question. (:30)
• John Rambo thinks Blade is starting WrestleCrap UK.
• Joe Vernola asked him about Burt Reynolds. RD still calls him Uncle Burt and is still sad after his passing for some strange reason. RD took him from a flea market poster rather than go through with the original name of Jack Diamond.
• Someone pretending to be Iron Mark Tyson asks about Lana's fluctuating accent. And are Bryan and Dave secretly with AEW? (:33)
• Sean Bateman asks about Becky Lynch's pre-WWE matches. RD remembered when she was initially a leprechaun. 
• Brian Weckerly wonders which bad gimmick he would super push. RD thought Waylon Mercy could have gone further had it not been for physical issues.
• Danny Rhoads has a tough question: which written about thing would he remove? (:36) His ultimate goal is to make people laugh, no matter the subject matter. But the one and only thing he would remove would be Blade suffering through Joanie Laurer's (first) adult adventure.
• David Stidham misses Bobby Lashley's sisters in his latest bad angle. (:41) RD agrees.
• Neil Purcell thinks Joey Janela's theme sounds like a Journey song. RD stresses the importance of good music in wrestling.
• One of my fellow Co-Historians asks about noticing a show's sobriety. (:43) RD: "Yes." His throat is also hurting from all his monologues.
• Ryan Goodman (again) asks a random Guevara question. Keith Lagasse follows up with another random Guevara question (on another thread).
• Patrick McCabe is still unsure who was the Higher Power.
• Peter Melnick asks if he was in a submarine. Yes he was. Two feet underwater anyway. He was in a helicopter once due to his mother entering him into a competition.
• Ben Warrick remembers The Wrestling Album. RD prefers Piledriver.
• RD cannot explain a photo on the air.
• Jamie MacKay has a Terry Funk song to listen to. (:48) Mike Check RD uses the opportunity to take an intermission by playing it in full.
• DJ Derrick Guynn (AKA Derek Quinn) has some games to rank. (:53) His #1 is WWF Superstars due to its play. Mania Challenge is #2, WWF Wrestlefest is #3. From Luke Lay's followup, ProWrestling is another #1.
• Forest George wonders if Paul Teutel Sr. vs. Hogan would be a draw.
• Ralph Archuleta has a question about Jaime Hayter.
• Ryan Swartz has a badly worded question about a current wrestler using an older gimmick. (:56) RD thinks such a thing would be hard to do.
• Denny Taylor (in kayfabe) wants to know how real Giant Gonzalez's airbrushed muscles were.
• Dave Hines warns RD about spelling Barry Manilow's name wrong. (Actually he spelled it right. Does hie also write his songs too?)
• John Hudson thinks Tam, when (if?) released, could do a prisoner gimmick. (:57)
• Luke Lay (again) asks him about his favorite Royal Rumble moment. Ric Flair in '92, no question.
• Wes Lee has RD wanting to play air hockey with Sammy Guevara and his salmon pants.
• Dylan Fionda asks about trains.
• Arya Witner forgot that Kerry Von Erich was the second Ultimate Warrior.
• Brian Beissel is scared about contagion. Although "Coronavirus" is a good name for a finisher.
• Danny Rhoads (again) wonders who would win between Well Dunn and American Males. RD picks the latter.
• Simon James Lindsay asks about Kane's titles. (:60) RD thinks he had as enough as he should have had.
• And finally, Iron Mark Tyson (again) asks about Blade's Big Announcement. What a mark.