294 Sleep Stampede: May 25, 2020

One of the 12 listeners during this episode...with worst looking belt.

76 minutes

Blade is already sleepy in the afternoon. It's almost as if he's doing actual work! He is spending his time indoors re-listening to the whole podcast and slowly going mad, poor bastard. He tried the whole Star Trek canon, before he got distracted to Troma movies, before he got distracted again.

Blade: "My mind has a tendency of wondering."
RD: "I've never noticed this."

Distracted Blade is also a master of timing.
Blade: "Our big anniversary shows have been timed so they're like...double bombastic. Our 200th episode was our 5th anniversary show."
RD: "The output ain't what it once was, kids."
...
Blade: "You guys should have heard me back when we started this show."
RD: "It's amazing how much funnier we are off the air."

RD suspects I have bugged the tin can and string so I can get the jump on insulting and mocking Brad.

...

He is absolutely correct. How did he know? I guess I have to readjust my ways now. For one thing, I need to update my SpyTrolla 5000.

Blade never likes going to the grocery regardless of the situation, unlike RD. (:14) The latter went with his wife to Sam's Club to purchase a giant 2 pack (11 ounces each) of Red, White and Blue Crunch. Blade has an unopened box of Boo Berry from 2004 with 11 servings in it.

RD repeats month-old news about XFL Commissioner Oliver Luck suing Vince for $25 million. (:21) Anyway, Vince may be trying to secretly buy it back. You don't say. [Or maybe not? Or maybe not not?]

Jim calls to get annoyed by RD. (:27) He's stuck at an Arizonan bookstore for his "book tour" and wants to live in RD's basement. RD gives him and by extension Blade some advice. "Shove this show up your ass!" Jim replies in between (Blade's) laughing.

You know what that means...?

Bitey "might be over the show" according to Blade. (:31)

Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch are expecting. This angered Jim Cornette for some reason.

Matt Striker is a reality show contestant competing to impregnate somebody. I don't know either. [If you were wondering he finished 8th on "Labor of Love". - Erik Majorwitz]

Mickie James now has a podcast of her own, with Victoria and SoCal Val as "Grown Ass Women". (:38) The two approve of their attempt.

Tam is back on OnlyFans. (:44) The two do not approve of her attempt. RD does his Nathaniel impression. Even Blade is slightly tongue-tied.

RD: "It's not that you've matured and you've become a better person; it's just due to being lazy."
...
Blade: "I'm better than you."

Simon Beach is first on Facebook. He asks how Parts Unknown is dealing with the lockdown. (:50) RD ignores Blade's response since it involves his mythical Yearbook.

What are some great looking belts? (:51) Blade has a seizure trying to understand what RD has to say. He likes the 80's green Intercontinental, Savage's winged eagle, and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. RD instead has the worst looking belts: Warrior's rainbows, the Cena spinner (ruthlessly aggressive spinning!), and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. It ruined Ric Flair's original run with the digitized Big Gold Belt such that he once had to carry a Tag Team belt. This was done instead of, say, WWF crafting another, like what Ted DiBiase once did in that one vignette. RD wishes there was a playset for that, but they leave discussion of that for another later recording.

Double or Nothing's Stadium Stampede greatly pleased the two, even without any angry cows or bulls (doesn't the horse count?). (:66) RD remembers when Sammy Guevara was in WWE only for Lacey Evans to make fun of him. Show attendee Iron Mark yawns.

Some Syllables:
Tyson All Elite.
He was there to present the belt.
Double or Not-yawn.

"I fell asleep; that haiku had eighteen syllables."



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. RD and Blade, horrible NES games.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Just woke up.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jim, Iron Mark Tyson
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  2
  
• Blade Time Outs: 8 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Simon Beach
• How do you think Parts Unknown is coping with the global lockdown?  What’s their plan going forward to protect lines and reopen Parts Unknown High?  That’s a good one. (Blade with his last gasp breath)

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Three best/worst looking championship belts
• RD:  (worst) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, any Cena spinner belt, any Ultimate Warrior pastel leather belt
• Blade:  (best) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, WWF Winged Eagle World Championship belt, Green WWF Intercontinental Belt

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Seems some fans attention spans may vary:
  Tyson All Elite.
  He was there to present the belt.
  Double or Not-yawn.

262 Shoot: October 21, 2016

It all began as a wrestling podcast

11 years ago, but...(see above)

95 minutes

This radio progrem is 11 years old. This explains why the two are commemorating it two months late. Blade already thinks of things as a train wreck.

Blade had to conduct early recordings laying on the floor because of his bad phone and NOT because he was too cheap to buy any proper furniture. (:04) He does his "worst" RD impression.

RD has already forgotten that they originally started the show due to their taking over Get In The Ring Radio and killing it off. (:09) Blade was expecting him not to remember it, as he may do many things in the past. RD confirms it.

RD remembers his old shillings. (:11) He reveals he's got good old Greg (formerly of globalinternet.net) to help him maintain his Archives. This derails into them talking about Oz when he was Great and Powerful...and when he was played by James Franco. This derails into Blade worrying things will take six "freaking" hours long. This derails into ME shilling worryingly into how things would take six freaking hours long. Everything is connected! (:17)

RD gives more heck to Blade's Big Announcement using the Apple Newton. They should bring it back as a "special edition" of the iPad and restore their flagging sales. (:20) Blade 'promises' to Big Announce it...next year. Unless he is no longer with us and is sick (which can happen with his shenanigans so it's not unlikely!) so he's already told RD in case as a backup plan.

Blade has returned to his standby Miller Lite and V8. RD has already forgotten about that too, and I don't blame him. (:23) Blade would fall asleep while holding it so he tried Budd Light with Mott's Clamato to see if that would make any difference.

RD makes fun of Blade for wanting to speed up the show before he slows things down by rambling on. (:28) SPEAKING OF Robert Gibson's glass eye, he's been watching a lot of him lately which gives him the ability to do a Robert Gibson impression. He showcases it to Blade's laughter.

Through his sister Don gave Blade some more chips to eat because Don is unable to. (:31) This time he's having Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips with reduced fat which taste pretty good, even if they have expired in July.

RD: "You can't 'time out' the Faxtrolla! What is wrong with you?" (:34)

Believe it or not, this has no relation to that other
70s rabbit-based fiasco, Night of the Lepus.

RD once saw Rabbit Test at a drive in. (:39) What an age that was back in the 70s, when a film with the on screen debuts of Billy Crystal and Michael Keaton and directed by Joan Rivers (the only movie she ever directed in fact) could coalesce into something of an obscure and oft forgotten fiasco. Yes, even more than THIS show.

Anonymous Brooke has given birth (to a child and not a donkey to Blade's relief). RD notes how the radio progrem has lasted longer than Xtreme Xpose.

Blade: "I'm too tired for these jokes."
RD: "So is everyone listening but we all have to suffer through."

Mickie James is going to NXT much to Blade's happiness. (:48) RD shills then calls Diamond Dan's Hotline. For some reason it doesn't work. But if it DOES work you can always reach him at 317 335 4688. Again, that's 317 335 HOTT.

Blade makes a randomly obscure joke about Mickie in connection to horse meat.

In place of answering a Question (and having to pay shipping for sending off a winning prize) RD mispronounces some names off Facebook as he reads some of their favorite show memories and their congratulations. (:55) Blade remembers guests they've had on the show including the dearly departed John Thomas, and Bill Brown as Dennis Stamp. RD fondly remembers the also dearly departed John Tenta, and his friendship with Blade over the years. He also remarks that while Vince Russo was terrible in the industry he is nonetheless a good friend of his all the same. Blade still enjoys their six freaking hours long show featuring a meat pinata.

RD originally wanted to record their (actually and even funnier) regular phone conversations for the RD & Blade Show, but was limited to do so by how bad the sound quality would be. (:65) The Duo feel forced (coerced?) to apologize for them. Blade recounts how they had to record something for Black Friday a month before they did the actual show proper. As the show was becoming more and more like the old progrem Blade felt there was a tipping point, certainly around the show's 250th, that they might as well just call a progrem a progrem and return back to WWCR. RD responds with a muffled Blade impression. At least it's better than the earlier reversed one.

:69 The Duo finally agree on liking Becky Lynch. However RD is bothered by Sasha Banks' forehead, or "fivehead" as he calls it. Comparisons to Dark Journey's own summons Jim and distractedly causes Blade to break into laughter. (:75) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him angry and calling in to the show. He finally manages to tell them to go fuck themselves after a year of holding it in (and possibly damaging his prostrate in the process).

Iron Mark Tyson also calls in and distractedly causes Blade to break into laughter. (:79) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him confused and calling in to the show. His remark on how he thinks bees had stung his tongue distractedly causes RD to break into laughter.

Stubby also calls in (without his theme music or audience for some reason) and distractedly causes RD and Blade to break into laughter. (:82) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him stiff and wooden and calling in to the show. For all the good that led him into.

Sir Alec also calls in (without his theme music or audience for some reason). (:85) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him being "found" by Blade and calling in to the show. He admits on behalf of Blade that Ellie was named after the character from Halloween III. Good Lord, lad.

Mike Check also calls in (without his theme music for some reason). (:88) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when RD once did his first mention of him which ended up with him being wild for Taylor Wilde and calling in to the show. Sadly for him RD intercepts him with the Radio Quartet and their Haiku music before he can reminisce more about his days on and in the radio markets (and its female workers).

Blade: "How would we have ended the show every week without this?"
RD: "Horribly."
...
RD: "This is why the shows last so long."
Blade: "Now I'm really messed up."

Seventeen Syllables:
Eleven long years.
It all began with a dream.
It ended at Maude.

RD: "Smiles, everyone. Smiles!"
Blade is laughing too much to continue the charade beyond that. For shame. For shame, boss.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right  

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

 

 

• 11th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 17. WrestleCrap.com, Greg O, WrestleCrapRadio.com, Premier Blah, Earl Campbell’s sausage, Iggy, Raging Demons, Gooker Kai, Clarence Mason, B. Alvarez, Skyline Drive In Movie Theater, Skycade, Drive In Movie Maniacs, RetroTV, Daveys Uptown, Diamond Dan’s Hot Line, Aldis
• URLs not taken: 2. NakedTummy.com, BeckyLynchusingDorothyLynch.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Robert Gibson’s glass eye
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Bea Arthur

  

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse:  Lack of sleep. 
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Diamond Dan (attempted), Jim, Mark Tyson, Stubby, Sir Alec Heineken, Mike Check, Mr. Rourke, Tattoo

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Jim
  

 

• Blade Time Outs: 9 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs: 4
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
• Cricket Chirps:  6
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
• Over the Top Dad!:  1
• Over the Top Mom!:  1
  

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  N/A
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Partner: N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  N/A by Johann and the Boys
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: All good things start with an idea:
  Eleven long years.
  It all began with a dream.
  It ended at Maude.

 

252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015

#252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats"

78 minutes

Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.

As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)

RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.

RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.

WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.

While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. (To be fair, when has he not been confused?) RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid through Global Internet for it!

That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.

:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.

RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).

Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants? 

Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.

:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.

Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?

Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.

Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.

John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.

Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)

Hillbilly Jim last main-evented a PPV 27 years ago.

Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.

A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, InnerRickRude.com
• URLs not taken: 6. WhatshappeningtoGreg.com, FumigatingBladeBraxton.com, NudistColonyWithDanSpivey.com, fullyclothedpodcast.com, PoorMatilda.com, smashittogetherintoverysmallamountofdigestablesyllablare.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Ways to clean yourself, couple things we will neglect, Sting
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Stewart Patrick, “Iron” Mark Tyson
  

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (2 Wait a Minute)
• Blade Time Outs:  7 (2 Real Quick)
• Blade Burps:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
   

 

• Question of the Week from: Ed "Han" Salo (5)
  
• Since the WWE is removing all references to Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka from the network, I wonder if Young MC will have to change the lyrics of his 1990 hit song “I Come Off”?  The lyrics are I’m coming off just like the clothes on a hooker and I can fly like Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka.  Certainly the WWE would ask this legend of rap to remove that lyric, but who would replace him in that line? RD: Booker T. Blade: Uhhh.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Sting the lovable loser jobber?
  Sting vs. Rollins.
  Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
  teen Lions' record?
  

250/40 Revival: August 20, 2015

I'ts Ba-ack! Yip-pay!

75 minutes

Having been podcasting for 10 years (and 250 episodes) now, RD & Blade decide to bring the old show back, and NOT because they only made 39 episodes of its 'successor' over 2 years. Cue the same old Old Yeller jokes. Although now I want to see a Zombie Old Yeller movie, so...thanks?

(Of course, most full term shows have 25/26 episode seasons on average too, so it does all balance out overall. Then again, most full term shows aren't badly made wrestling radio progrems either. Not unless the next season of Better Call Saul has an episode where John Thomas discusses credit card payments with Mr. "Johnny Mackerel/Sean Goodplan".)

Greg, formerly of globalinternet.net, may be getting back into the website hosting business. RD wonders what his new site URL would be. (:04)

So it comes to pass that this very site you're reading (if still up) is now an official sponsor of WWCR. Cue my non Jeff Foxworthy impression/silent movie voice in reading the ad copy in a single sentence. (:07)

Blade: "Oh, here's the thing, you know, we want to try and get a good schedule going where -"
RD: "Well now you just cursed us."
...
Blade: "Here's the thing real quick."

:11 Blade has Don standing around to taste test some food for him. Hopefully he's not wearing his mask or using corn oil as a condiment. The bag of Herr's chips he's testing is sadly not named or flavored sand or Barbecue Corn Nuts like he guesses, or RD's thinking that it has Elmer's glue in it for that extra kick. (It's actually Peppered Bacon.)

Blade ate an entire 'pack of bacon' the day before. Wouldn't you? (Don't answer that.)

Blade reads a blurb about the upcoming Black Bottle Brewery's Count Chocula Beer. If you want to try it out for yourself, try eating Count Chocula cereal in some beer instead of milk and see how it tastes. And it HAS to be in a cereal bowl or it doesn't count. (:20)

At least the Faxtrolla is still operational. (:22) Ted DiBiase and Jim Duggan met David Prowse at a UK wrestling convention. RD is reminded of when Mike Check went to a Star Wars convention and ran into Jake Lloyd Jr's foot, which is better than (his old man) "good old" Jake Lloyd Sr. being arrested after some real life podracing. Blade suggests watching Episode I in Spanish where (of all things) Anakin's "YIPPEE!!" was dubbed. Hmmm, I wonder how Latin Jar Jar would sound like now.

:28 The "TammyTrolla" has followed the Co-Fruitcakes to the original progrem, much to RD's dismay. She's trying to sell her sofa so she can buy a sectional. RD wonders if Debbie Reynolds is on social media. Her recent Skypeing for sexual/non-sexual related stuff suddenly summons the Sad News Music, but thankfully it's not for her. It IS for Yvonne Craig, the original Batgirl and Vince Russo's beloved, who is no longer with us after a long and fruitful life. (:34)

Blade can't wear his Bossk mask outside of Halloween for some reason, or so he says.

:37 The Question Of The Week is going to once again be award/prize winning because RD wants to clear out his house of unwanted stuff. At least for his American Listeners; seeing as it costs a bajillion to ship overseas, he'll instead pay the "lucky" winner $5 (American) for their submission. That converts to I believe £3, ¥600, $200 Canadian and 300 of whatever the Greek currency is now. 300 Spartans I think.

It also has a new email address: questions@wrestlecrap.com. That is the ONLY place for submissions now. No other ways will be accepted!...Almost no other ways, anyway.

In lieu of a question, what with the surprise recording and all, the two talk about their favorite progrem moments. Again. Thankfully their reminiscing is interrupted by a "Filson Wisk" looking for a "Mr. X". He sounds more like RD than Vincent D'Onofrio though. (Dincent V'Onofrio?) (:42)

The duo now need to look for a new TNA Correspondent. Oh joy. I guess the Honky Tonk Mailman was transferred to a different section in the USPS so he's unable to take them on his route in his pink Cadillac. (:45) They try calling David Lee Roth's Soundboard for help at first. He still won't report on TNA though. So they have to call JR instead. (:50) He's angry because he's not getting any money from his 'appearances', and is still so angry that he even censors himself. "Go fluff yourself!" he rambles.

Blade retrieves Stubby from his corner. He doesn't prove much help either. (:55)

Neither does Mike Check. (:58) His daughter is trying to find a job for him which is remarkable when you consider he's a prison escapee (EDIT: A prison escapee under house arrest who has his own website. --Raging_Demons). Did he ever tell you about the time when he was in Madison, Wisconsin (market) in WDEL "The Dell" (making bad Kennedy jokes) as Billy Limburger with Craig Atlas "Cutting The Cheese"? Also Taryn "Tiffany" Terrell brings his microphone up to attention to Carol Channing here on WWCR.

:69 Lesnar is to fight Undertaker as Frasier Crane at Summerslam. Iron Mark wonders how Cena's nose is holding up.

Seventeen Easily Digestible Cubic Syllables:
Taker Vs. Brock.
Summerslam's big main event.
Will Mark's Depends leak?




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Greg formerly of Global Internet, WrestleCrap.com
• URLs not taken: 5. KrogerCellPhone.com, GloboGreg.com, TheBestDamnWebhostintheEntireUniverse.com, TrollaHosting.com, GoodOleJakeLoyd.com
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. The finest celebrities
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Premier Blah, Don Mason, Filson Wisk, David Lee Roth, Jim, Stubby, Mike Check, “Iron” Mark Tyson

 

• RD Time Outs: 4 (1 Wait A Second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• The Price Is Woooo: 2
  
• RD False Finishes:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1
  

 

• Trolla Products Update: Faxtrolla (functioning)

 

• Question of the Week from: RD & Blade
  
• Favorite WCR moment? RD:  WCR outro. Blade:  Hanging with RD.

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WDEL The Del (Madison, Wisconsin)
• Radio Call Sign:  Billy Limburger
• Partner: Craig Atlas
  
• Show:  Cuttin’ the Cheese
• Song:  “Hello Dolly” by Carol Channing

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: This feels awfully familiar:
  Taker Vs. Brock.
  Summerslam's big main event.
  Will Mark's Depends leak?

 

209 WCR.F.D.: July 7, 2012 ("Aired" on July 13)

102 minutes

For some reason with the Co-Hosses not being 'able' to do a show these past few days despite their vows to do so, the two have decided to 'cut their losses' and just decided to put the show out of its misery end the whole thing without any rhyme or reason.

(Or it could be that RD is tiring of the progrem and wants to move on. Personally, I don't blame him.)

To that end, the two have had a table at the recent Days of the Dead Con in Indianapolis (what an appropriate name, to get the obvious joke out of the way). To assist they've found whoever they can scrounge up as their "12 Listeners" to be their Live Studio Audience Laugh Track of this Very Special Episode. This apparently involves them watching the duo go through all the 'motions' of the show and change their voices every now and then.

Why does it make me feel like I'm watching their Roast again? I'm almost expecting Trash Losagain to walk in at any second.

One thing that can be considered almost a universal constant: Blade is once again made the fool here. I think it's all that alcohol he's been drinking, both here and throughout most of his radio progrem life. This isn't helped by the fact that seeing something about dead chicks doing anal reminds him of Don. (:06) I don't want to know what would bubble out on you if said dead chicks did such things to you though.

Blade seems quite 'determined' to have his own show by doing monthly 'specials'. Don't hold your breath kids.

Stubby is brought from underneath their table. I don't want to know what he was doing down there. (:09) He didn't even bring his canned laughter, so the audience provides one for him. RD finally gets one up on the figure and renders him speechless. Blade misses his (future) chance to talk to a tree in his backyard.

The Duo still need to promotional considerate even though it won't be any use to them pretty soon. (:12) This is an excuse to once again mock the Shining Wizards ad feed. A Listener leaves because "I've heard enough."

That done, RD tosses Doritos bags to the peanut gallery. (:22) He invites a guy on 'stage' to try some hot dog flavored chips, which taste like bad hot dogs. So, like most hot dogs then? Blade likes to eat Earl Campbell's sausage.

Sir Alec 'calls' over the phone because he's on 'honeymoon' back home in England. (:31) However, judging from the timings between Indianapolis and London (which has the thespian awake at around 1 in the morning) this is less him on a late night boat ride down the Thames and more like him being drunk and hallucinating said honeymoon back at his abode. My guess is Ellie got tired of his infatuation with douching and left him for someone else. My other guess would be Mike Check.

Regardless, Blade does Alec as Blade doing a bad English accent and has him read a few lines of 'poetry' that he totally didn't randomly scribble down on a sheet of paper a few minutes before recording. Alec still has his cheering crowd of supporters with him, hopefully not capsizing his honeymoon boat or, more likely, taking up too much space at home and causing a ruckus with the neighbors. We shall see which outcome seems more likely in the near future.

(Again, don't hold your breath.)

Nintendo John has his own cheering audience with him too as he 'calls' in. (:37) He remembers playing old horror games. On the Nintendo. Sadly, Monster Party was so scarring it made him quit his playing. On the Nintendo. He plans to upgrade to 32-bit though and become Super Nintendo John. "Kryptonite can't see me!" he proclaims.

The Honky Tonk Mailman also calls in, though he has an excuse seeing as he's not in Indy right now. (:42) Good move on his part too; he shouldn't risk his life being with them after more than 526 days during a year where RD & Blade did fuck all progrem wise. As a reward for his perseverance Blade plans to send him an empty box. Stamped, of course. He leaves without even bothering to report any news. Perhaps he was all out of Wrestling Observers that day.

Iron Mark calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand. (:47)

B.M. Punk calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand because RD quickly hangs up on him. (:48)

"Satan" calls in not long after. (:48) Of course he's not there in person either, but he has an excuse. It seems he "has a leak in his ceiling" and he has to do things himself around the house. Perhaps he can get D.I.Y. tips from Angry Jim Ross? Sunny and Reby Sky have been arguing about Sid Vicious, for some reason. RD thinks he's hearing Satan's phone ring. I bet it's God laughing at and taunting him, having been the source of his leakage all the way down in Hades. If He DID create the multiverse as we know it we know that pulling a prank on His hated adversary is not really something strenuous here. Blade relaxes his throat by shilling his being Satan in a movie.

:55 Dustin Runnels is in some horror movie somewhere. That's more news than I can stomach. Blade responds by inviting a woman up on stage with him. (:56)

Someone in the audience is tasked with delivering a "Question Of The Week" to ask about Blade's new show. (:61)

Again...don't hold your breath.

People start wondering in and out of the room. (:61) Blade dons his Midnight Rose mask to flirt with some pretty ladies. Any results from that have yet to be seen.

RD responds in turn by doing his Mike Check impression. (:73) This time, neither even bothers to wonder what he's doing and why he's not still in prison. He's just...'there'. Perhaps he's existing in Indy and in prison at the same time in some sort of Schrodinger's nightmare. (In my case, I'll still pretend he's in the Big House and hacked his way in again. It will make things much easier to figure out.) Did he ever tell you about the time he worked with the recently no longer with us Andy Griffith in Winston Salem's WMOO "The Moo/Big Cow 1240"? He was Pop Stevens and Andy was Stan Cherry, and together they hosted the Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour. Sadly no one knows if it was sponsored by Dr. Pepper.

:81 TNA has some new gimmick of a crack whore (named Claire Lynch for the three of you who care). This has to be explained to Blade for some reason. AJ Lee looks to be about 12. One guy is so excited by this revelation he doesn't even finish texting.

RD has had enough and outright asks some of the audience of their favorite moments from the show. (:90)

Haven't we done this already?

:94 Blade does his Jim Ross impression. He's just now discovered the cellphone.

Seventeen Easy to Digest Syllables (of Fun):
The end of the show.
After seven years, we're done.
Now let's take a bow.



As expected, the Ratings Reaper finally gets off his ass to 'cancel' the show. And I thought I was a procrastinating motherfucker. There's always a bigger fish, it seems.

Of course, RD gets the literal last laugh. I expected nothing less.



$11.00 : $25.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 



For the three of you that care, I'll be posting a later piece about the future of this here website. It's still going to stay up long after the radio progrem has ended of course, so don't worry. Much.  

 

 

 

Facts & Figures From The Future (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Shining Wizard Wrestling Podcast, AngryMarks.com
  
• URLs not taken: 3. GiveMeHookers.com, GimpedUpWhore.com, DrunkandOnGimmicks.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Anal, Don...Don Mason, defecation
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Incest Death Squad Part III, Trish Stratus’ penis

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 19. Matt, “Viewing Booth” Bill Cosby, Sir Alec Heineken, “Nintendo” John, Honky Tonk Mailman, “Iron” Mark Tyson, BM Punk, Satan, Stephanie, QotW guy, Midnight Rose, Mike Check, Peter From NYC, Nick, Peter From NYC (2), Jim,  Jim (2), Ratings Reaper

 

• F-Bombs: 39. Blade (23), Stubby (7), “Nintendo” John (2), Satan, Jim (6)

 

• Blade Time Outs:  16 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  3
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
• Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  14
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps: 3
• WrestleCrap Radio Gongs: 2 
• You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Some Unabomber in the crowd
  
• If you had to pick a new name for Blade's podcast, what would it be and why? Gimped Up Whore.
  

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WMOO Big Cow 1240 (Winston-Salem, North Carolina)
• Radio Call Sign: Pops Stevens 
• Partner: Andy Griffith as Stan Cherry
• Show:  Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour
• Song:  “The Party’s Over” by Johnny Mathis

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade's swan song:
  The end of the show.
  After seven years, we're done.
  Now let's take a bow.
  

208 No Gold Star: April 20, 2012

104 minutes

Big Announcement: Blade's drunk again. No wait, not that: WrestleCrap will have a table at a actual convention. It's only on the Saturday though, so Blade can get drunk and try to be Danny Trejo's sidekick.

RD recently saw the famously bad Birdemic and was traumatized by it. (:07) Next time he should watch it with its Rifftrax.

RD and Blade read the Shining Wizards Podcast ad copy just to make fun of it.

RD is happy with Brox's chocolate Easter bunny. (:21) RD tried bare some of those gifted spicy sauces.  The two gave away a few bottles.

Diamond Dan's HOTT line is finally called for some Obscure News. (:32) Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.

Blade tries some Doritos Jacked. He likes them. (:35) He recently uploaded a video of he and his friend trying out imported Japanese Doritos.

:40 Blade's beloved Jessica Alba 'fought' John Morrison for a commercial. This of course gets Blade going on her. Diamond Dallas Page admits Dave Grohl was unhappy with his theme music. Blade mumbles drunkenly.

"Satan" is so lazy he calls in just to say hello. (:51) His Tubular Bells sounds different again.

Steven Austin's barn was badly ravaged, but it's nothing he can't fix. Jim Ross calls, seeing as barn fixing is his expertise. I think. (:57)

:63 The Anonymous One asks about balls dropping.

SPEAKING OF balls dropping Mike Check answers. He hosted American Bandstand in Philadelphia in '52. 1852, to be exact. (I hear Lincoln was a fan of his. Mary Lincoln, if you know what I mean.) Did he ever tell you about the time he was at WFIL "The Fill 830" with Bob Horn? He was Little Mike E and together they did Horn-E at Midnight. I admit, that made me laugh. He gets possessed by Jim Ross for some reason.

:76 Blade needs to be filled by the Honky Tonk Mailman, who's been busy delivering tax forms. Did you know that next week he'll break the actual Honky Tonk Man's Intercontinental holding record? Wow, is this show awful. Random discussion about using the mentally challenged as man-servants ensues. Joe Park Esq., formerly Abyss, is coming to TNA last month. Kerry Von Erich's stamp comes in halves.

:86 Sad News: The Bellas are leaving WWE for...something. Penthouse is my guess. Don once made a stop-motion Muppets porn movie. (:91)

No Holds Barred is finally coming to DVD. AND distributed by WWE no less (their films division perhaps? That would be something.) (:94) The duo reminisce about WC in the Internet's Iron Age. Blade's Iron Mark Tyson impression wants to see Don's movie. Hey, who doesn't? (Besides me?) (:101)

So here it is:
No Holds Barred on disc.
Twenty jock-ass years later:
Dookie in high def.

Oh, and Chief Jay Strongbow is no longer with us. This is all the Co-Fruitcakes have to say about it:





























(How?)









Finally, some money to be made! $8.00 ($14.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right)

205 Mind the ValenTime: February 17, 2012

100 minutes

Happy (Chinese) New Year. And I thought there weren't going to be any episodes this year. Silly me.

RD: "We're not making any promises."

Still, at least Blade is back on form with the Crickets, so I guess that's good for something.

Back recording, the Co-Fruitcakes waste no time talking about...football. Bet you Dave Meltzer's not talking about THAT this week. (:04 - :14) Once again Blade's "Hobo Curse", in which the team he supports loses most of the time, came into effect at the Superbowl, as the Giants beat Brakestown's Patriots in Indianapolis. RD wants to do something new to pay off his bet this year, which he lost for some reason. Send the usual submissions to Blade.

Blade wants a WCR "Hall Of Fame" as an excuse to reanimate the 2008 Crappies.

Sad News: Global Internet has merged with another Internet provider, cyberlynk.net. (:16) Now don't confuse that with cyberLINK.net (which looks about as fake as most things are these days) or cyberlink.CA, which is a completely different internet provider. I think.

RD finally gets around to finding Mike Check's 'new' website (which has been active since April). "This is the work of genius," he proclaims. 

:24 Sad News: Blade broke RD's old laptop. RD would have brought a pair of rusty scissors to edit the Star Wars prequels. Blade is sober drunk and wants to make porn parodies of the movies. He also wants to eat meat for breakfast instead of the 10 different types of Cheerios on offer.  Ah...no. Any active man worth his salt knows they can get protein from plenty of other places. Eggs, legumes, nuts, supplements, that sort of thing.

:37 Edge is NOT going to New York to sign autographs. Neither is Fake Rikishi attracting 400 people for signings. I blame Even Colder Mike Austin.

Mickie James is rocking some maternity pants. (:44) This does not require the use of the HorseTrolla for some reason which is good. As a part of the Trolla purchase the thing's getting upgraded with a new model; an Godolphin Arabian of course. It should be there by the next episode, which by my calculations should be in June.

:47 Dark Journey's resurfaced, and of course Jim Ross is happy. According to him she has the Deltan look going on, which means she'll now do a film with the Paper Chase guy. "I'm gonna go jerk off" Jim says before departing. I wonder if he does that while beating his meat. (But I don't want his semen to get in his sauces.)

Maria is spending her 'time' being the next Elvira. No offense, but we already have the original Elvira still going strong already. An Elvira Jr. perhaps? (:51)

Why is her belly button so high up?

Velvet Sky is a zombie for some reason. (:56) There's a joke to be made here.

Trips looks good in a dress, doesn't he?

Sir Alec calls in, causing Blade to cough. (:58) He has another story (a prequel?) of Hunter and Shawn in love.

Your Pal Irish Dynamite Eighty Boy has the Question of the Week Month. (:67) He wants the two to get rid of Lord Alfred for cheating on them on other shows.

The Honky Tonk Mailman has been corresponding for a year (which is lucky, considering the fact that we had only five shows for it). Thankfully he's on air to gloat about it. (:69) TNA cancelled their UK tour last year, to the disappointment of that one guy who really wanted to go out with Velvet Sky. (Zombie Nathaniel, we know it's you, so get back in your coffin this instant. Even if she DOES look like a zombie now.) The HTMM doesn't like her for some reason. He has his own commemorative stamp for the anniversary, whatever that is.

:76 Michael Cole has won the 2011 Gooker for the generally horrible job he's been doing, but especially last year. I wonder if he'll tweet about this and have this become one of those Trending Topics he keeps going on and on and on about (as ordered to by Vince in his ear).

The WWE Network's been delayed (what a shock) so they're stuck on YouTube. One show in particular, Are You Serious? is...well...are you serious? It's awful. They essentially cover some of the very worst in pro wrestling, with 'amusing' commentary and jokes on the stuff. I wonder where I've seen that before... Of course, seeing as how WWE's hand is in this, the jokes are constrained and not funny at all. It's essentially a video version of WrestleCrap Radio. In that aspect I pity whoever is my counterpart Co-Historian. RD wants to meta commentate on them.

As if the Divas weren't being taken seriously enough, Natalya Neidhart (she of the Hart clan and one of the few actual good female wrestlers the promotion has) has 'problems' controlling a part of her body. New Hall Of Famer (for WWE, not WCR...yet) Mark Tyson has insight on this. (:84)

Seventeen Syllables on her problem:
Farting Natalya.
Do you smell what she's cooking?
Neidhart asshole juice.

Sign that Blade is drunk; his haiku makes no fucking sense. "Neidfart's sharptooters" would fit better. But, well, what do you expect.

Fuck, you know what? THAT should be the haiku here.

Seventeen Syllables on her problem:
Farting Natalya.
Do you smell what she's cooking?
Neidfart's sharptooters.

I would ask to be on the show because of that, but I value my sanity highly.

RD's made a 'Tribute' to Global Internet Greg, which consists of all the magical things he can do for you if you ever bought a URL with him. (:91 - end) Poor guy will never live this down.



The stakes are raised for Blade's antics now. (What can I say, I'm as bored as you are.) His transgressions now cost double, so now he has to pay 50 cents for his troubles. This should be fun. He thus owes $4.00 for the year (plus the $19.99 The Price Is Right).

204 Jim-gle Bells (Palsy): December 16, 2011

115 minutes

Blade is drunk (thankfully) but even he knows the (Christmas?) Co-Fruitcakes haven't done much since Black Friday, when he had a Freudian fascination with penises. He also remembers being punished by eating sub sandwiches. I don't blame him. RD was equally 'punished' by egg rolls for some reason. This I CAN blame him for because I love egg rolls.

You know who else is being punished? Jim Ross (:09) He's outside a Dollar General in Tulsa ringing for 'donations' to his cause; himself. How he does that while still calling into the show I have no idea. Multi-tasking, perhaps. He does tell us that Hollywood John has currently tired of fucking his wife and is also helping out somewhere. You know what Jim should do? Sell his Slammy 'statue'. At least, if he hasn't shoved it up Michael Cole's ass like he is also fascinated about (alongside Dark Journey).

'Stubby' helps promotional considerate. (:19)

RD hardly bothers to update his itinerary. (:20) "Speaking of bah, humbug" (hey, that's MY catchphrase! Get your own.) [Actually it's mine but thank you so much for playing - Clarence] [[The Catchphrase of WCR.com I would imagine. I should get that as a tagline for the page.]] he calls Jim again. Give the man a break, it's been barely 10 minutes! Also Jim shouldn't talk too loud on his 'phone' (how can he afford/use one anyway?), people may hear him and give the game away. Blade can't keep it together.

Blade's one true love Lita's been arrested for speeding. (:25) The duo spend a few minutes spelling her name right, as RD again thinks little of the Listeners. Iron Mark Tyson KOs the episode. (:33)

Ric Flair channels the spirit of Jerry Lawler, as Alec Heineken reads a 'plan' of his to accompany high schoolers to their prom. (:35) If he really wants money that bad he should stand with Jim Ross. Instead of going "ho-ho-ho" he could just say "wooo-wooo-wooo". [Impossible. After all the alimony checks he couldn't afford to pay for the trademark off Zack Ryder - Clarence] License to print money I say. RD does his Ben Kingsley impression.

Who wants to win dinner with Velvet Sky, a woman so highly regarded that not even TNA - TNA - wants her? Poor lady. (:41) Things seem somewhat dodgy when we find that the 'winner' has to 'write' about their dinner for a website. That's like the opposite of what I do here, where my punishment for failing to write a summary in time is to have dinner with Velvet Sky. [Oh whine, whine, whine. Every time I miss a column you make me have dinner with Mae Young - Clarence] [[It builds good discipline and strength of character Trust me, I had plenty of dinners with the Fabulous Moolah to train my own skills.]] RD watches Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett do a terrible job 'promoting' this contest.

Something 'weird' happened to Blade, which he labels a "miracle" (:48) He's suddenly found Ashley Massaro attractive, and instead of calling her by her old nicknames (from them or others), wants to call her "Hot Ashley Mess" instead. I give this about a week. Francine has another child. Or should that be foal? (:51)

Not getting anywhere with his charity work, Jim enters the nearby Dollar General to steal raisins. (:53) Mind you, he does this while still talking on the phone about what exactly he's doing. I don't think that's how it's supposed to be done, is it? Unless people don't actually eat raisins nowadays and the store owner is secretly thankful that Jim is consuming his one year old expired products so that he doesn't have to.

Paul (McGann?) has a Question about snacks. (:57) They actually answer it.

The HTMM's off this week. (:61) Well, it's CHRISTMAS. I don't expect him to be working on a holiday.

You might want the heavy-duty kind.

:63 Blade tells his Reuben Trashbagging story, which apparently involves this 'Reuben' character of his bringing a filled trashbag inside a millionaire's house. He uses Extreme Music music for this like all the others (Dinner For Two's A Whiff Of Perfume).

Sad News: Classics On Demand is being future endeavored for WWE's new horrible-looking network. (:72) Blade wants ESPN to 'air' their radio progrem which necessitates the use of Martin Lawrence of some reason. RD doesn't say "Whatup?" though.

The Slammys suck. (Don't they always?) RD gives Blade 30 seconds to flounder. (:80)

:83 RD and Blade open up presents.

• Reverend BSB Brandon Berthelot gives Berthelot pepper sauces.
• Travie Yak sends $50 to RD to pay for Blade's Swear Jar tally. Noble sacrifice, my good man. (But if you're reading this, you really shouldn't have and now I feel guilty. If you ARE one of those few readers of this site, contact me privately. I'll want to reimburse you for what you paid if you like.) Now Blade just owes that The Price Is Right game for my amusement.
• Adam Kraznov sends a Lions-Saints game to Blade.

Now for something completely different: MY present. You didn't expect that, huh? Definitely a Russo-esque swerve, in my opinion. (:94) I had sent Blade the complete first season of Maude, and RD another bad Burt Reynolds movie, Delgo. Even better, I actually sent an audio recording of myself explaining RD's thing (:96) and, yes, my recent purchase of the Trolla Corporation, while trying to spend as much time on air as physically possible. (If you haven't noticed I'm somewhat of a vain MF heel) If you REALLY get turned on by my voice (and if you do, why?), I've uploaded the thing here. And as I promised, my earlier audio submission that I sent a few months back too. I apologize if I speak a bit too fast for some, so I'd be glad to send/post a writing of what I aimed to say up here. (Assuming I can remember and/or find the necessary things.) This takes up time, but it is a productive use of time. When RD & Blade do it, it's just wasteful.

IT'S NOT FOR BABIES!

• "The NFL" sent Blade a Lions wallet and a can cooler, and RD a signed Dan Orlovsky card. (:102)
• Blade received a very cute gift from RD Junior, a Lego Bossk keychain, and a rather sexual Dutch shirt from RD.
• RD meanwhile has a Troma movie staring Julie Newmar with music by Quincy Jones which is so obscure I have yet to find it on IMDB ("Seduction of a Nerd") [It was fantastically titled "Up Your Teddy Bear" in 1970. --iggy], and a Mexican Santa Claus poster. Includes free Pitch action! (That sounded wrong.)

:108 A bitter Jim Ross blames the duo for his 'situation', and accosts old man RD while doing so. Pretty soon the police are on his tail. I'm sure Sheriff Dickwell and a newly reanimated John Kelly are not far behind.

Seventeen Syllables coming down your chimney:
The year is over.
Our Christmas gift to the Twelve:
Lots more shows next year.

For some reason I don't believe him.

[No comment, just: http://www.mst3kinfo.com/aceg/8/816/krankor.wav - Future PB]



$2.00 (+$4.00 for my message playing. I told you I was vain.)
($50.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)



Merry Christmas, one and all!
- Your friend "that Wrestlecrapradio.com guy" Premier Blah

202 It's not easy being Mean: November 11, 2011

71 minutes

Wow, they're even lifelike!

A rather animated RD reads through his latest copy of Fighting Spirit Magazine (which he gets Lord Alfred to shill for). It's not just because he once again has his regular column for it, but rather due to a cover story involving Blade's dear lady centaur. It includes a bad pun that even the crickets would ignore for being too terrible, photographs with Raven and Ricky Steamboat of all people, and subtle goading from the editor to talk about her...rather 'risque' past. Blade has her fun with her as usual, though Mike Check randomly calls in to try and mess around. (:09) RD Strongbows him, and without even waiting for a song first! That's just not right.

Is that split served with banana topping?

:14 Blade is an obscure motherfucker as ever. RD uses Old Spice body wash that has the "power of a mountain". This makes me wonder why on earth WWE has not got the new Old Spice guy to be a Raw guest host. He'd be more charismatic than half the current roster.

:21 Sad News: Beavis and Butthead are using their music. Even more Sad News: the originally thought deceased-sick Haiti Kid has reanimated himself and come back to life, according to ever accurate sources. Who to believe? How about neither, so let's just see this random video of him sitting on Gorilla Monsoon's lap. On the subject of characters, RD feels he has to 'explain' Chief Jay Strongbow to newer listeners, (And if any are reading this (and if so, why?) have you tried our glossary yet? It's really shiny.) so he uses a video to aid him. Sure enough, he calls in too. (:28) [R.V.M Kai also made a commentary video of this interactive segment.]

SPEAKING OF strange interviews, Joanie Laurer's 'tickled' to win an award. RD wants to keep moving. Blade invents a new character on the spot to read a 'letter' of hers to Vince. She also has a new YouShoot video featuring questions from Trash Losagain and Mr. Fitness (2).

More Sad News: (:34) Tammy Sytch had a bad fall from an escalator. Even worse, her auctioned gown from the week before may be up for auction again. Even more Sad News: Blade can't find her Facebook page. Seriously though, I can empathize with her since escalators are not fun. They always scare the hell out of me whenever I use them.

Former ECW announcer Courtney Taylor is a new mother. (:38) Blade addresses the anti-feminists in the audience.

The Honky Tonk Mailman also likes to fuck. This explains why he's not here this week. (:47)

SPEAKING OF people Blade used to fuck, his ex-girlfriend didn't like Gail Kim for some reason. (:47)

Even in a minority the Listeners are a minority.

James Braxton (no relation) thinks his professor is one of the Listeners. (:50) Blade thinks all Listeners are some sort of albinos. That makes some sort of sense; there are so few of both albino and Listener in the wild after all.

:54 Mrs. Deal is no fan of mustaches. Poor woman. The Muppets on Raw made Blade vomit with rage. Blade does his Kermit impression which RD feels is better than the one done on that show. He then does an Irish Iron Mark.

Back in Maxim again (was Playboy out of room or something?), Kelly Kelly explains what a 'stinkface' is, taught to her by the wrestler 'Rafiki'. (:61) Blade has to apologize for giving joke names to people. Allegedly. It's probably just the drink again.

RD can take no more.

Blade sings for a third straight week. I think he's making up for his 'lost' singing career from three years back. I'm still waiting for my order of his Hobo Six album.

$2.00 ($39.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

201 Piper's Pit-SA: October 28, 2011

73 minutes

"Don't work for Vince Russo"?

It is once again Halloween, which gives RD & Blade ample opportunity to fluster and filibuster and fart around as per their custom. Of course they do it all the time, but more so in this case. Blade has 'morals' that he hangs on his wall. He repeats about the time he wore a Darth Maul outfit and Don Mason wore a star on his face. (:10) RD wants to be the king of the geeks nerds & poindexters. (:15) He'd be scarier than any tyrant.

:17 Piper's PSAs raise a question: Is it Thank YOU or Thank YA? Blade once received Mork & Mindy trading cards and even an action figure. Those are worse than razor apples. At King's Island RD escaped 'paying' for raisin boxes. RD's PSA: obtain some actual good candy to give out.

:27 Blade paid the Big Nippled Vampire and now has to 'schedule' her to be on their progrem. Nowadays she seems to be stuck on TMZ answering randomly awful questions. Huey is possessed by Satan. RD calls him "Son of Huey".

At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
At last we shall have our Mars bars.

:32 Lita's in a Haunted House called the Atlanta Chamber Of Horrors. Sadly it's not Jim Ross' UWF Haunted House and we don't see Abdullah The Butcher on an electric chair, so I don't really care about it much.

:38 Sunny is auctioning off her Hall Of Fame dress as the latest high priced spunk rag. Blade repeats the story of Don's blow up doll. Is it a sign of dementia if you repeat the same things over and over again without knowing it? "I am ashamed of myself" Blade admits.

:41 "Satan" calls, seeing as how it's his season. Leave Santa Claus to the commercialism of Christmas, this is his time damn it! Former old guard Madusa disagrees with Kevin Nash on WWE. I can't argue with that; no offense to the man but he did help kill off WCW after all.

Not, not sure I get the reference, there, Carl.

:46 RD once again has to go back to Facebook to answer a 'Question' from Carl Zayas. The Co-Fruitcakes do, however, somewhat 'answer' his query. I think that's the only way to get an answer from the two; send them something that is less about wrestling and more just a random non sequitur.

:52 The Honky Tonk Mailman has the 'holiday' off. So why is he spending his time on the radio progrem? That's more arduous than any work I've seen. In his neighborhood people hand out Wrestling Observers instead of candy. Even Blade is speechless. In 'today's' news Hulk Hogan is returning to TNA...three weeks ago. The Halloween Havoc '98 commemorative stamp has a free refund. (For those who don't know, WCW was so inept that they were forced to air the PPV for free the day after, thus enraging those few who had paid for it. But don't take my word for it.) RD is worried about the Colonel's regression into a baby. But does he speak in Bruce Willis' voice?

The audience also took a nap during Vengeance.

:60 Blade forgot his bicentennial popcorn bucket. 'This is why you fail," he tells himself rather circularly. The ring at the recent Vengeance PPV can support a 40-man fight but apparently not just two guys standing on top of it. Blade does his Iron Mark Tyson. (:65)

:66 RD plays Blade's recording with Piper. He's not actually on the show, and I can't blame him. He probably thought the duo would take another month to record an episode and decided to be recorded instead. He's rather contradictory in his advice this time, advising trick-or-treaters to "burn [the] lawn" of those they don't like and send unwanted and poisoned food to Vince so that he can "look like Moolah".

Blade sings again.

$1.00 ($37.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

200 The Call-Out: October 21, 2011

137 minutes (!)

If their arrows blot out the sun,
it would help global warming.

Despite missing two months to who knows what, things are back to 'normal', at least before the duo takes the year off due to someone breaking their back or something. And what better way to do that than to reminisce, both with the Co-Fruitcakes and other Listeners favorite moments on a forum thread. Even RD has forgotten a few moments during the show's history. This shows he's not a regular visitor of this here site which would have helped him out. And he would also know that our Beloved Founder (The Founder to my Premier as it were) [To my hired help? - Clarence][The Founder to my Premier to my Showstealer, as it were.] has helped summarize all their episodes. Go have a look. Trust me, it's better than this week, because nothing of note happens for the next 24 minutes, except for another Don anal story (is there any other kind?).

Blade spoils things by saying that Rowdy Roddy Piper (the ACTUAL legend and not just his legendary PSAs) will be appearing next episode. (:18)

Blade has found his favorite 'Nitro party' entry. (:22) He reads an '11th hour' letter sent in August.

And now you can end the show here if you like. (Mrs. Deal! Get Iggy on the phone!) This is because the rest of the show is just people calling in and messing around. If that sounds familiar...well it is, and we don't even get Global Internet's Greg or the Zombie to spice things up. I'm not necessarily going to take them to task for disobeying the Cornette Rule and repeat the same angle (or episode) only after seven years, and I know they were probably rushed for time to do something or risk wasting yet another fruitless week. But looking at this from a creative viewpoint as I always do, they should at least have made one thing different. Perhaps have Nate come back from the 'dead' and have him break Mike Check out of jail so he can call in randomly and threaten them with a Men Without Hats song or something. I'm expecting next year to be another clip show that would rival the infamous TNG episode Shades Of Grey in terms of nothing happening.

So this year we're essentially getting a WCR Roster roll call as various characters call in to fart around and have fun for some random reason.

And I wonder if I'm losing my mind sometimes.

:25 Pleasantries out of the way, let's get to the self-congratulatory circle jerking. Jim Ross calls to insult the two. Hey, that's my job! I didn't realize he was a newly recruited Co-Historian. He revisits his only video to read comments.

:34 One 'loan' bright spot arises with John Thomas, sight for sore ears. Blade 'thinks' about him. John's been hunting Brakestown down over lifetimes like a Highlander.

:42 The Honky Tonk Mailman gives a call, now the longest running Intercontinental champion TNA correspondent for doing fuck all while the show was hibernating, thank you very much. Matt Morgan's been un-injured six weeks ago. The new Zack Gowan stamp is made from Lego pieces.

Be afraid.

:52 Popeye calls in. He has his own website. Hilarity ensues.

:59 Nintendo John likes some Castlevania game, but hopefully not the one featuring that Bond villain and that guy who sounds like "Stewart Patrick".

:68 David Lee Roth calls in like he's some sort of frequent character now. Sadly his soundboard has no new lines from Runnin' With The Devil so he's not much help.

RD 'remembers' when Johnny Six hosted a show with Blade that one time, which is an excuse to draw a one-line joke even longer than it should. (:72) Are we sure this wasn't included in that April Fools show that one time? Or for that matter, aping Iggy's summations?

Blade's ex-girlfriend does not want to be on the show. I have no idea why. (:76)

:82 Chief Jay Strongbow.

:82 The Midnight Rose calls. He hung out with Blade who played a cripple in a movie. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:90 Corporal Fagsher is still possessed by a car. Knowing he he's probably just censoring himself with his own car noises.

:94 Stubby does his shtick. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:104 B.M. Punk is Chief Jay Strongbowed, as per usual.

:105 Satan confuses RD by 'rereading' Billy Graham's letter. I think he does it even more so by not having his music play while he originally did that. He actually congratulates them on their 'achievement', as he is wont to do.

:111 Sir Alec Heineken and Ellie are 'engaged'. He reads a 'poem'. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:117 Mike Check gets his prison call. Finally, an actual celebrity! Now the show is picking up. Did he ever tell you about the time he was at Omaha's KFLU 102? He was John Cillin to Andy Rooney's Penny Simpson to host the Penny Cillin Show. [And of course the Curse strikes again, felling the man a fortnight later. - Future PB]

Blade does his Bill Cosby. (:127)

So too his Iron Mark Tyson.

:129 Stevie J shows how ad copy is SUPPOSED to be done. He and his Angry Marks Podcast co-host (Co-Fist?) congratulate the duo.

RD doesn't want to take any more chances and decides to end the show. I don't blame him.

Blade 'doesn't do haikus' on anniversary shows (yes you fucking do) so he sings instead. Mrs. Deal! Get that 80's era Casio keyboard!

$4.00 ($36.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)