163 Christmas Calls: December 20, 2009

116 minutes

For some reason people are "annoyed" at the annual gift exchanges at these "big year-end editions" which seems quite odd to me. What else would you be tuning in for? Actual wrestling news?

Blade: "This could be a train-wreck."
RD: "Would be no different from every other episode we've ever done."

A Don Mason Story (:09) once again leaves RD speechless when Blade reveals his friend would also use caramel toppings to remove that ever present "salty taste". (Not Reddi Whip?)

Blade recently went north to Chicago (:15) to be the Toxic Avenger at a showing with Troma President Lloyd Kaufmann. The art of signing breasts is discussed. While there Blade was also thought of as a hobo by the local folk. He also met RD again where an attractive lady thought of them as gay lovers. Austin "Gill Man" Gillum sent the Co-Fruitcakes some Jones Pure Cane Soda, the official drink of WrestleCrap Radio! (:31)

For no good reason RD decides to call Gay Popeye, who answers with his musical sting. (:35) He had been gifted some gay sounding book, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

Obscure News. (:38) The Maestro is selling some random items for Christmas. Not to be outdone Val Venus again tries desperately to earn money by selling some out of date consoles, but RD and Blade think of it as just a scam that, again, no one will fall for. The HorseTrolla is ambushed by Stubby, who is jubilant that Mickie James responded to a random tweet of his. Why, pretty soon they'll be steadily dating and/or exchanging nude photos! (Disclaimer: To my recollection neither myself or Blade have anything to do with the Twitter thing in question.) It's pretty hard for Blade to do his voice though while he constantly keeps laughing throughout.

A convenient call is made to Sir Alec (:63) who answers with HIS theme music. Wait, do ring-tones and/or calls work that way? He received some fish-sticks and waffle fries. (I'm just thankful they didn't send him any curry.) His sexual inclination as related to Don Mason is applauded by his faithful audience.

Meanwhile, long penis-ed Erik Majorwitz sent the pair those blasted Jake and Jessie Gymini action figures. (:67) Ultimate Kennedy sent some Hall and Nash ones.

Before we get to TNA 'News' (:73) Dixie Carter is called, getting some gift card to Toys R Us. But it's only for $10, so she quickly cuts them off.

Johnny Four is still stuck on the same news from before so RD upgrades him with a Stern ZPU-1000 chip sent from the Trolla people. But it just makes him waste some running time for the episode before he too meets his fiery end at the hands of RD. (And to think, he doesn't even turn into a smiley face while doing so. What the fuck, man?) This summons in Mike Check, still not 'dead'. Did he ever tell you when he was Matthew Mark Luke? Or when he was in Minneapolis' WICY "Icy 103" as Big Jim Cane hosting The Candy Cane Christmas Carnival? It resulted in him getting a blowjob at a party, though he doesn't say it was his daughter who gave it to him.

Current News. (:94)

Well, with that out of the way let's get to opening some more presents. Robert Q sent Blade some DVDs while RD got some of those Mexican Doritos. Blade further gets his own customized WC hat and a signed playing card of Detroit Lion Dan Orlovsky, while RD gets the Burt Reynolds Troma movie and Christmas with Colonel Sanders.

Speaking of the Colonel, Jim Ross calls in to be the show's expected Scrooge. (:108) He thinks his wife is cheating on him with Hollywood John and Johnny Ace and calls the Bushwhackers Penis Trimmers, which sends RD into bouts of hysterical laughter. Of course, RD 'forgot' to send the man any gift, most likely because he loves to piss him off and see what his response would be.

Sure enough the man doesn't disappoint, singing a 'few bars' against the two to close things out.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck yourselves.
Shove it up your fucking ass.
Oh what fun it is to be pissed
When you don't do midnight mass!" 

"Jim!!!"

Merry Christmas, one and all. Please don't be like Blade getting drunk and doing a bad Jim Ross impersonation.

162 Barnyard Logic: December 4, 2009

Virgil: The Two Dollar Pervert

102 minutes (!!!)

It's the third episode in two months, so Blade prepares himself by getting drunk once again. This is furthered even more by mention of a new addition to the WWE roster, a glorified Brakestown clone by the name of Luke Gallows. Gay Popeye calls and the phone is so used to his appearances that it doesn't even ring. RD has to work around slightly to not break the already broken battered and torn kayfabe on the radio progrem. People used to come up to Blade and tell him he looked like Brian Pillman which is the closest the show has had to a joke in a bygone age. There's been no response from Demento yet in their battle. Well don't mention it on here, he might listen and reply again! Blade wants to fuck the radio progrem, if such a thing is even physically possible. I guess we'll find out if one day we start listening to an episode and sperm suddenly starts shooting out of the speakers.

RD meanwhile had taken another TRIP to Disney World (:11) He didn't re-encounter Rafiki sadly, but while waiting for a ride he did see a random woman with large fake ones, which warranted remembering. Blade does his Bill Paxton impression.

As people have (not) been waiting for, RD took another TRIP for Black Friday (:24) and he has Super Mario based music with him for some reason. Blade didn't go shopping this year, disappointing yet again. I bet that happens to him quite a lot. While at Wal-Mart RD saw an old woman standing in line just so she could buy some Melba Toast. Sadly no one knows if this Melba Toast Black Friday Lady has any relation to Calculator Man. RD also 'met' two women also in the line arguing about some pitch-in/pot luck dinner. And...that's about it this year. Sadly Blade can't do any better with another Don...Don Mason anecdote (:29) in which the man, myth and legend argued with some old woman about the time. Perhaps she was actually Blade in disguise, as he can't keep track of the time either. Gay Popeye calls again. He'd tangled with a man named Black Friday, sent by the Jeep no doubt. That creature is always a trickster.

We finally get some Obscure News 40 minutes into this "three month long" show. December 7th is not just the anniversary of Pearl Harbor but also the birthday of another bomb, Tammy Sytch. (However Blade shows he flunked his history courses when he thinks Pearl Harbor was on the 10th instead. Is this an American thing to misremember dates I wonder?) The Co-Fruitcakes think of what to buy for her by looking at her Amazon Wish List. Among other things they find some random (and kinky sounding) float strap for a camera (sold separately). If I was feeling less tired and more cheeky I'd probably just send her the strap without the camera to attach it too and see what she does with it.

In other news (:50) everyone's favorite Big Nippled Vampire auctioned her fangs online for about $120. That's all. Remember when she was just about the only person the two would talk about for minutes at a time? Ah, the good old days.

Also remember former TNA wrestler Moon "Goldy Locks" Shadow? Yeah, me neither. For some reason the Co-Fruitcakes poke around on her site. I like the fact that her web page is titled "Untitled Document" and she hasn't updated the thing in two years. RD listens to a portion of some song of hers and 'writes' some review on iTunes about it.

Pain Fail 1 star out of 5
by WrestleCrap - Dec 3, 2009
Where do I start? I gave up a McDouble and a Carmel Apple Empanada for this song. Now not only am I hungry, but my ears also are hungry for good music. Your music stinks like manure. Why did Jerry Jarrett give you a job outside of dancing in one of those cages. PS - Do you have Lauren's phone number? Your friend, Blade Braxton.

Somewhat faintly connected, Blade needs a thousand dollars to sleep with Jasmine St. Claire.Would this also involve an iTunes review?

Continuing on the trend of wrestling has-beens and also-rans Virgil (who still hasn't been kicked in the nuts by Angry Marks and or a Carnival) had some rather bizarre interview while at some random con, whereby he tried to hit on his interviewers. (:65) Sir Alec reads the bizarre comments which mock the pathetic perennial jobber. Aim high, Virgil!

Seth Drakin returns to ask another Question (6) (:76): which famous announcing teams do you want back on the air? RD is impartial to Gorilla Monsoon and Pete Doherty, while Blade wants either Bruce Britchard, Michael McGuirk and Pete Doherty or Lord James Blears and Rod "TRON" Trongard.

Dixie Carter is now appearing regularly on TNA, so Johnny 4 is summoned to speak his part on that. (:80) Or once again get stuck on the same news of Hogan and Bischoff coming on TNA, who really knows? Of course it could be actual news as well as a glitch; the two have yet to appear on the show, and who can blame him?

RD: 'Is this the longest show we've ever done? It sure feels like it."

No, that would be THIS show. Sure feels hellishly long though.

Current News certainly has a lot to catch up on, so let's get to none of that this week. (:82) The Gooker reappeared some days back, even if the announce teams call it the "Gucker" for some reason. What, is Andrew Dice Claw going to guest host? Blade doesn't like the WWE doing outdated references. That's THEIR job, damnit! The HorseTrolla neighs: Mickie James is now on Twitter to stop imposters, which is perfect for Blade to stalk her. Concurrently WWE is cracking down on Twitter use also. Sadly Sir Alec doesn't return to read their rules and regulations.

WWE Comics has launched, in another attempt by the company to get into the industry (and laughably fail at yet again). Blade gets confused while reading one. He also loses his voice too. Or goes through puberty, I don't know. Perhaps getting more drunk can help?

Seventeen Syllables to explain this one:
WWE Comics.
Those aren't comics, they're ex-
pensive toilet paper.

Blade: "WWE Comics: Wipe your ass on John Cena today."

161 Under a Full Mooney: November 13, 2009

New RAW Announcer? Sean or Ian?

70 minutes

A new rumor is currently afloat: EventCenter might return to the airwaves. RD wants Sean Mooney to host it again as he watches a random thing about him. Blade of course has no recollection, but it's not due to his drinking. Somehow Craig DeGeorge doing oral is involved so Popeye wants in on the action. RD gives him five seconds as he has more important matters to take care of; he rolls a 6 and enlists F Sin's help in making another video against Damien Demento. If his adversary sings a cartoon theme, then BY GOD RD will sing his own! (:09) Of course Blade thinks he's dissing the man's penis. He wastes another Big Announcement for having an upcoming shot of his own in this skirmish.

RD was stealing from his son's Halloween stash as he took a TRIP to eat some Whoppers. (:12) (The Hershey's chocolates, not Burger King.) Blade hates them for some reason and wants to make his own rival candy - the Big Mac. He confounds RD as he does this, as expected.

Time for some Obscure News, so early in the show too! That can't be good. (:17) Blade takes an opportunity to make another football bet, this time with the Yahoo Fantasy League the duo and I are in. (RD has the Mike Checks Whackers, at the time of writing in the lead, Blade has the Midnight Blades competing with him, and my PB Justice League is desperately trying hard not to be dead last. Ah, such is my lot.) Blade decides to repeat the "I Have Something To Say" bet from the 2006-7 season. This should be actually good, for once.


Anyway, some Sad News: (:21) Lillian Garcia had an altercation in New York. She's doing fine though. Chained wallets are brought up. Catalina "Sailor James" White's name brings Popeye back, for slightly longer this time too to make Blade chuckle. She's doing porn now, as the two have fun with her name. That is something two people named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton are experts at, apparently.

WWE Announcer Lauren Mayhew is trying to give away copies of her singing. Blade wants he and RD to dress up as Wookies and kiss each other, but only if Popeye can watch.

The BabyTrolla gives birth to Candice Michelle being pregnant, or something. So at least we know what she's up to now that she's gone from wrestling. Hit the porn music! This gives an excuse for another Don Mason story, so RD plays the old Current News music for it. In this case Don bought a Right Said Fred album in the 90s, but that's not the story; he's just getting heavily drunk at a bar while thinking how good ejaculating in a woman is.

The HorseTrolla neighs. (:37) Jim Ross had to come to the defense of Mickie James to protect her from a random fan 'congregating' on the Interwebs. It's as good an excuse as any to call him up. JR doesn't like Dave Meltzer since it's the in-thing right now, and he continues to give RD a case of the giggles. This year he's sure to bring in the customers with his new gravy and his new slogans and giving people blowjobs. But back to the whole subject in the first place, did you remember that at all? Blade gets Sir Alec (and his Four Seasons music) to read the fan's missive. (:50)

Today's Question Answer from Mav makes fun of some random hairstyles. (:55) RD asks for photos.

Johnny Four is so stuck he repeats the previous week's 'news' of Hogan and Bischoff coming to TNA. That's it. (:58) RD wants to do some live remotes for Black Friday, Blade wants to take Stubby with him.

This Week on Current News, (:62) Hogan is still up against Flair Down Under. RD reads down the card, and if you want to see Brutus Beefcake facing Heidenreich then this is the show for you! Also Flair got married again.

Seventeen Syllables of Speech:
New RAW Announcer?
Mooney is back from the dead.
Don't forget Ian.

160 Trick or Tonic: October 30, 2009

93 minutes

After a month (!!!) of inaction, WrestleCrap Radio returns from beyond the grave. For a moment I thought we were back in 2006 again. Wait, what am I saying? The show always feels like it's in 2006.

RD has "so much to talk about", i.e. nothing at all, but he does have some bottle of tonic delivered to him, adorned with Papa Shongo's visage. Blade gets to randomly sing early in response, but he also 'coincidentally' has a bottle of his own.

RD: "I don't like where this is going."

You don't say.

The bravely bold Damien Demento gets a Hit on his Scatter roll with a fresh barrage of attacks against his usual targets. (:07) Blade prepares against him with a Rocky IV montage with the help of Stubby and a masked Don...Don Mason who train him in Siberia, Kansas, which quickly gets its own remix. Blade thus challenges him again to a boxing match, but Double D instead thinks of them as playing for the opposing team and sends Gay Popeye against them for more random talk. Does RD secretly have erotic feelings for Demento? How would that even work?

Popeye also has his own bottle of tonic, and thinking it will cure his erectile dysfunction problems takes a sip. (:13) A random horror movie sound bite plays and he reverts to his 1930's persona, strangely wanting to open his can of spinach in Olive Oyl instead of the usual Bluto. This desire soon fades with some tinkling of piano keys and he returns to his homosexual senses to see Bluto waiting for him as he always does.

RD: "That was very very strange."

But back to Demento, who instead challenges the Co-Fruitcakes to a sing-off. He will sing the Underdog cartoon theme song. RD falls back to randomly singing to his Dr. Feelgood MIDI. Blade wants to dress up as Mickie James on Halloween to annoy people and indirectly be allowed to have sex with the Diva. Whatever you say, Mr. Brakestown.

Blade: Halloween Cap'n Crunch turns the milk green.

RD didn't take a TRIP to the Grocery (:22) but went to a Chicago pinball Expo instead during the hiatus. He saw a Playboy pinball machine there with a woman stripping naked for your amusement, and some peep show machine where the ball gets stuck and its players have to have sex with it as a result. Also some machine that appeared in a Jodie Foster movie was sold for only $200, and no one knows if John Hinkley was the successful bidder. Blade meanwhile had an encounter with a child molester in a library bathroom. Good time for PSA Roddy Piper to make his return! (:32) But not even he can help Blade's latest trashbagging story (complete with Sad News music). He is forced to take a dump in a tight bathroom and finds himself trapped inside with his bag. (That sounds like a modern horror movie.) He's compelled to apologize for some reason. He also promises to one day tell his 'favorite' trashbagging story involving a co-worker named Reuben.

Obscure News shambles along. (:38) Amy Weber gets confused with the concept of kayfabe as she was asked about why she left the WWE. Blade had a dream about how nice she was. Over in Japan Rene Dupree wants Shane McMahon to come over from leaving the company. RD mocks his thinking.

The HorseTrolla neighs (:45) causing Blade to hit himself in the nutsack, revealing that Mickie James was sent to Smackdown as some sort of 'punishment' for her weight. This makes Blade happy as he can make more sex jokes now. RD tries to caution him, wondering what's gotten into him for some reason that's only needed to further today's plot. Following their itinerary this makes Blade decide to tap into his tonic. (:49) Sadly the only thing it does is regress him into 2005 Blade by calming his earthly desires and make him think more inwardly. Bah! Where's Popeye where you need him? This lasts three minutes before he returns to normal as he tries to contain his quiet laughter.

Question of the Week. (:53) Charles has some rapid fire questions for the duo. RD shares my love for Coca-Cola, Picard and Mike Nelson. The last question: Nathaniel or Mike Check? This activates the SeanceTrolla sound effect. (:58) Sure enough, our favorite WWCR DJ comes on to scare Blade, particularly as he's somehow managed to hack into the contraption somehow. Remember, he's only pretending to be dead to escape John Thomas' clutches. He's having fun up in 'Heaven' but is somewhat weary of Wolfman Jack, who once thought he was infringing on him as Wolfman Mike while at Salem Winston's WBOO "Boo 92". Did he ever tell you about the time he was also at San Bernadino's KHIP "Hip 106" as Bob Salad in the Soup & Salad Musical Buffet? And now here's the McCoys here on the WHACKER!

RD: "What else could go wrong on this show?"

Time for Johnny 4 to show him, that's what. (:68) He plays the Atari ET game theme to again remind us how much he's supposed to be terrible, or at least what the two want us to think about him. I think he's just cute. "Nothing but the finest news!" we're told, as J4 tells us; Hogan and Bischoff are on TNA. This gives RD a dangerous idea to feed his robot companion some of the tonic, which he gladly does. The resulting (glowing) '08 era automaton now talks like Nathaniel as the G-Man of Half-Life, giving actual TNA news like some sort of AI narrator for a wrestling documentary. "Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha." Then he returns to normal and flops on the floor.

Current News. (:73) Jim Ross is still boldly battling his Bell's Palsy, but he still has time to call into the show. He says he faked the disease so he can take time off, even taking the time to glue his face to make it look more believable. Unfortunately his attempts to relax are constantly interrupted by well wishes in the mail and searches for royalty checks. He still hasn't gotten closer to his wife though, and gets paranoid about Johnny Ace circulating around his restaurant like a vulture. But he decides to take a test of his own tonic (of course they miss the obvious joke of trying to persuade him that its barbecue sauce). (:82) Sure enough he temporarily morphs into the 'original' '08 Jim Ross. Of course this doesn't last long.

RD: "It's like an alternate universe WrestleCrap Radio."

Cyndi Lauper and Maria are contestants on The Celebrity Apprentice. (:86) Unfortunately they can't do anything to stop the ending of the selling of WWE Ice Cream Bars. Blade always loved to eat Miss Elizabeth.

Seventeen Syllables on Damien Demento:
Demento's pissed off.
He's challenged me and RD.
Don't bring it, sing it?

Happy Halloween all.

159 Laying a Rock: October 2, 2009

Just Checkin' For Ticks

71 minutes

Blade's exhausted instead of drunk this week (shocking, I know), so he tries to get the crickets to do his Co-Hosting job for him. Al Sharpton made WrestleCrap hosting RAW this week. Blade wanted Roy Innis to host instead. RD doesn't know who he is so Blade teaches him. He has more hits than Enos Strate of the Dukes of Hazzard. Sir Alec uses his theme music (:16) to read a comment. Blade constantly distracts him with his laughter.

Still no Celebrity TRIP this week (:22) but the Duo went anyway. Blade tries some extinct Doritos flavors returned for Halloween. RD hates his Popcorn Indiana.

Obscure News (:31) Blade gets erect from women listeners. Ashley Massaro in Playboy again makes Blade speechless. Hulk Hogan and his girlfriend get matching tattoos so Gay Popeye calls. He sleeps with Bluto and calls his penis names. Jimmy Snuka is attempting to sell a reality show on his everyday life. Trash Losagain has a baby boy, Brody (congratulations!).

Question of the Week: (:43) Raging Demons (4) asks Blade for advice for the recession. Blade's shirt has three words on it: Drink Fuck Roam.

Johnny 4 is turned on by Blade's command. Sting's days may be counting down; so too does J4 as he attempts to laugh phonetically and gets stuck.

Current News (:52) The earlier Current Wrestling News music is being used by WWE for Rikishi. The Pittsburgh Steelers will host RAW, though Blade wants understudy quarterback Charlie Batch to host. That sounds like a name Vince would invent. Heel RD once participated in a tug of war.

The Rock returned to Smackdown and showed he is one of the 12 Listeners with a strange reference to BM Punk, who calls the show while in the bathroom. He cuts a promo on him via haiku.

Put that toilet seat down with Seventeen Syllables:
Advice for the Rock:
Jabroni, don't pinch off
more than you can flush.

158 Going down the YouTube: September 25, 2009

All Stand For "...Brother-hood"

82 minutes

The new induction this week is of Sting: Moment of Truth, a film made on a literally $1000 budget. Thus we listen to Survivor's Moment of Truth and read more confusing comments. (:02) The Midnight Rose will wrestle October 3rd at some grill somewhere in Kansas. Blade confuses himself by somehow thinking he's the Rose and vice versa.

No Trip again this week (:14) but RD wants to know about Mountain Dew Throwback made with real sugar. Blade just wants to do porn. He could make the movies and watch people perform in them.

Obscure News (:17) Have you thought about Sam Houston today? He's been jailed for violating his probation. RD and Blade still play his MIDI theme song. Sister Rockin' Robin also 'sings' America the Beautiful for our enjoyment at WrestleMania V. RD thinks that could be the new WCR intro. Blade repeats himself. Trish Stratus is making some yoga game. (:35) RD: "Like Mr Potato Head but with boobs," (So, Mrs Potato Head then?) We go down the roster for Hulkamania in Australia, with something about The Kwicky Koala Show. Sad News: The Boogeyman is missing. More Sad News: The Gymini Dolls are now on a $11 clearance.

Question of the Week: (:52) Crouton Kinley wants some love advice. Blade suggests wearing a mask, which is perfect for committing adultery (assuming you can keep it on throughout).

Johnny Four appears. (:55) Lacey Von Erich is in TNA. J4 says something about her being in the Beautiful People due to her having plastic breasts rather than a plastic foot. Angelina Love finds an excuse to escape TNA, thanks to being an Illegal Alien. Jim Ross calls (:67) to talk about nothing in particular, much like the show.

Current News (:71) Lillian Garcia's last show is this week. There are talks of Howard Finkel replacing her. Cedric the Entertainer guest hosts badly on RAW. Random celebrities seem to be chosen to guest host, including that wrestling bastion Dennis Miller.

Seventeen Syllables on Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller RAW
Obvious Vince never watched
Monday Night Football.

157 I can't get no Stratusfaction: September 18, 2009

74 minutes

RD is angry at Trish Stratus' new brunette hair color. Of course Blade thinks otherwise. Even Gay Popeye turns temporarily hetero at the thought, which for some reason makes his music longer than normal. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.) RD tries to persuade them with a haiku.

Trish is now brunette.
What more can I really say?
The thrill is all gone.

Oh, so we can leave early then?

Wait, there's another hour of this left to go.

Fuck.

Still no Celebrity TRIP (:11) so instead Blade has to make do with more on Gymini dolls. Bad news: none have been sold this week. Good news: a plastic sticker has been stuck on the back of the damaged Doll so it can join the rest.

Obscure News: (:17) Blade needs to reach the 5000 friend capacity on Facebook. Ivan Koloff has a strict screening policy on his networking sites. Blade fails all his requirements. RD looks at Blade's student referrals on his Facebook page. New Jack is once again acting like a drunken fool on Myspace so Blade has Sir Alec read his drunk bulletin. (:29) The Zombie is now a father! RD wants him to give parenting tips on the show. The HorseTrolla says Mickie James' implants have burst. Blade needs to sing about it, so he does. (:38) In response the Midnight Rose calls with Tony's Theme; he likes Trish too now. (:40)

Question of the Week (:43) from Brian J. who wants to know why he should watch RAW when football season is upon us. (A good question, for once.) RD saw the Pats vs Bills game and insults the Bills. He doesn't like Tom Brady either so he sings about him. Blade doesn't like it so he sings another song against him. Thankfully he only gets so far, so he tries again with another angle. That also fails.

RD gets Johnny 4 for his line of the week. (:52) "Jim Cornette got fired fired fired stay away from dairy queen queen queen queen queen," he says. RD: "Worst TNA Correspondent ever."

Jim Ross calls in to gloat. He's still on the hunt for Dark Journey, AKA Linda Newton, who seems to have taken a Dark Journey off the face of the earth.

Drugs? Naaah!

Current News: (:60) Hulk Hogan has a wrestling company named Hulkamania touring Australia in November, of which he is in the main event against Flair. Blade saw the only copy of Brooke Hogan's new CD which terrifies him. He tries to link her songs to wrestlers. Jeff Hardy has been arrested for drug dealing, and may be facing jail time for opium, of all things. Blade shows his support for him through a loud burp.

Blade sings for his new love Trish.

156 Flashback: September 4, 2009

77 minutes

The RAW match between Big Show and Mark Henry gives RD flashbacks to the last time they fought, when the Co-Host was heel managing the World's Strongest Man. His wrestling career ended that very day when Big Show used his mighty skillet hands on him, dooming him to radio progrems like this one. Co-Host Blade Braxton, professional comedian, has no sympathy for him, seeing as he still has a tailbone injury from St. Louis. He wants talking animals on the show. I thought Stubby was one? Sad News though: (:09) Good Friends cereal is no longer being stocked at Blade's grocery. Average news - that old and decayed Gymini figure is still hanging on for dear life.

:14 As expected from last week, Stevie J of Angry Marks calls, and immediately mocks RD reading their ad copy as Jeff Foxworthy. They mix it up for a while as Blade falls in love with Stevie. Mr. J then taunts Damien Demento, asking him to go after his site instead of WrestlingCrip.com. I don't know; knowing the man, I fully expect him to attack us next. SPEAKING OF Demento, Blade will have yet another Big Announcement concerning him. Because of course he will. RD of course does his Gay Popeye, continuing his schizophrenic trend.

No TRIP to the Grocery, Celebrity or otherwise (:24) so Blade is forced to fill in the gap with Sir Alec calling in. This week, can John Morrison and Jeff Hardy bake a cake together?

Obscure News. (:32) Sadly Wrestlicious has yet to get a TV contract, even though it's supposed to debut right about now. RD looks at Oxygen's schedule on the earlier Thursday. Don Mason used to watch womens' operations on Lifetime. Gay Popeye has no friends. Shane Helms was Twittering while drinking. Meanwhile the Lions manage to barely defeat the Colts. SPEAKING OF drinking Candice Michelle is Captain Morgan's Morganette of the Month. She's hosting a bra & panties match "in the near future if it hasn't happened already." The two try to check the Captain at his site for more information. The HorseTrolla lifts the tail for Mickie James' 30th birthday.

The Inglorious OTG has this week's Question (4) (:49) but he just uses it for bad jokes. Hydrox cookies are no longer with us. (I did know they were sick.)

Based on the terrible Atari 2600 E.T. game

Mrs Deal knocks on RD's door with something for him (:55) which turns out to be the new TNA correspondent. Somehow Blade had the time to go to a garage sale to buy something for him (most likely while drunk). Say hello to the TrollaTron 2600, Johnny Four. (It's an older model.) RD predicts disaster already. What does he have to say about Traci Brooks not being in Playboy Magazine? "No sticky pages it's going to be a sticky keyboard." Then he becomes stuck and just rolls over. So Stubby is summoned (:64) just to give RD an excuse to call him a rascal.

Current News. (:67) WWE's Rise and Fall of WCW DVD isn't so good. (It's no The Death of WCW after all.) RD collects Midnight Express scrapbooks from Jim Cornette. We Librarians and this very here site are again fine young eggs. (I prefer to be scrambled though.) The Shockmaster was on RAW.

Seventeen Syllables to Fred Ottman:
Shockmaster returns.
How will Fred Ottman respond?
Tugboat in a dress.

Johnny 4

Johnny 4 (Trolla-Tron 2600) was sent by Blade to RD as his 10th TNA correspondent, first appearing on September 9, 2009.

Made by the Trolla Corporation based on the Atari 2600 and its terrible E.T. game in particular, Johnny 4 had some...problems. He kept polluting RD's home by dropping things all around him, he kept getting stuck while speaking, and he would always fall over. He also didn't help clean up the house either.

He was destroyed through an out-of-date joke on December 20th after an upgrading error made him Berserk.

• In an attempt to get him to work, RD once gave him some of Papa Shango's Tonic on Halloween in some sort of experiment because, why not? This made him into a temporary NathanielTrolla.
• Kept getting stuck on the news that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff were coming to TNA.