297 Mad Ex: FuRD Road: August 30, 2020

15 Years of WCR: 12 Listeners Enter, 12 Listeners Leave

100 minutes

Blade feels old. RD: "You're telling me." SPEAKING OF Verne Gagne masturbating before killing somebody...  

This radio progrem was so big it was delayed due to technical difficulties and made Blade tired, then hungover, then drunk.

RD shills his WCW Halloween Havoc coasters. (:11).

RD is not sure if it requires less energy to listen to the progrem, or to read its summary here. "They're very tortured, I can give you that." He vows to have Co-Librarians on the show...somehow.

RD: "Everyone's more talented than I am."
Blade: "You have no idea how talented we are."
RD: "I didn't say 'we', I said 'me'. That's the difference." (:16)

RD has Kroger's Private Selection General Tso's Chicken in chip form. Unsurprisingly, they taste awful. Blade wants to target the food product market demographic.

Blade had tried enticing people on Facebook with random sexual innuendo to (have RD) call one chosen out of a hat. RD mocks him correctly on his not getting a single response, causing Blade to laugh uncontrollably. (:23) As you might expect, RD's attempt...disconnects Blade. How is this a bad thing? Blade filibusters by reading something by "Rose" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't know who was Becky. (:27) This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

Ricky Morton pleads with people on Twitter not to send him pizzas. (:30) Blade wouldn't mind paying for unexpected pizzas, expectantly missing the whole point. This prompts RD to give Jim a call. Sadly he doesn't order a pizza for him. (:35) RD insults Blade through Jim for misremembering things (but remembering he drove a braking down turkey van among his many business ventures).

Mickie James is on Raw again. (:40) RD still remembers her feud with Trish Stratus. Blade filibusters by reading something by "Christensen" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't like Trish. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

Tammy Sytch is in jail again. (:44) RD does his Nathaniel impression. He hopes that this is the last that will be heard of her for a good long while. For now.

RD: "We don't do scripts...obviously." (:51) 

He is shocked that for today's Question, "Blade has this". Dan on Twitter remembers RD's shaved back. RD corrects that it wasn't during his bachelor party. Blade does his Stubby impression to repeat one of his lines from their Roast of many moons ago. (:56)

Sad News: Blade will be moving out of Don's basement. Bitey has no comment. (:61)

RD disregards Blade's Question for another. (:64) Steve Mcclernon in Glasgow also listened to the whole canon, poor man. He remembers Marcho Madness, old RD&BS tapings, Mike Check still not properly doing the TNA market, Unsolved Mysteries remaining unsolved, Blade hearing actual TNA news from Corey Udler's impressions while visiting him at Chicago, Fun with Tammy, Paige replacing jailbird Tammy, and being baffled by their references and sports.

RD also checked the F4W Board, where someone noted that sped up Blade laughing sounds like Jim Neidhart. (:70) Blade remembers wearing shoe polish to look like Darryl Hall in third grade. If RD had his hair back he would leave it wet ala Bret Hart. Blade may not look like Brian Pillman in his youth or his AEW son, but he shares his madness. RD continues to make baffling references.

As for their favorite guests, (:75) Blade has Rebel eating cereal, 2011 Halloween Piper, the Zombie, and Kari Wuhrer. RD has run-in Piper, John Tenta, and his mother. Blade filibusters by remembering his ex-girlfriend who was tired of hearing about Eric Bischoff. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

RD fails to find Ken Patera on Cameo. (:91) The Co-Fruitcakes are still unimpressed by WWE. Someone asked Blade why he hasn't done his Ratings Reaper impression in a while. He's too distracted by whoever is left in the company throwing all their shit at the wall to impress Vince, like Shane McMahon's Fight Club rip-off. RD compares them both to the Apter Mag's complaining Old Man. He then repeats his Nathaniel impression. "We're like every other podcast now."

Blade sings about not wanting to go beyond Thunderdome.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 15th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, coastymarshmellow.com (new), wrestlecrapradio.com
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 6. Wrong turns, prank phone calls, special, Stratus vs James Wrestlemania match, Rebel and Dynamite, getting people on the show.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Blade's Ex Girlfriend, Jim, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (2), Stubby, Bitey, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (3)

 

• F-Bombs:  3. Jim, Jim (2), Blade's Ex Girlfriend 

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  2
• Blade Time Outs:  10
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Dan
  
• Just had a flashback WrestleCrap Radio flashback while on vacation.  There’s some dudes with hairy backs on the beach and it reminded me of RD’s bachelor party where the DJ said "somebody shave that guy's back". Thanks for the laughs.  That was not my bachelor party.

 

• Question of the Week from: Unknown
  
• Hey RD and Blade, in Scotland we went into lockdown in March and I’ve been working from home ever since. To pass the time, I made the decision to go back and listen to every WrestleCrap Radio from the beginning, which I finished this morning. Should I be worried about my decision making skills? Yes.

 

• Favorite Memories: Marcho Madness, RD and Blade hybrid shows, TNA News 14 years in took five people, Fun with Tammy Episode, Turn the Page.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  All-Time WrestleCrap Radio Guests
• RD:  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, John Tenta, Momma Deal (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Kari Wuhrer, ECW Zombie, Rebel

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, but a song instead. 

(to the tune of “We Don't Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner)

Outside of the ring
Digital wreckage
Vince made a mistake this time

We were once mark fans
The New Generation (The New Generation)
The ones that watched in ‘95

And I wonder if Raw is ever gonna change
Boring year after year
Wrestling’s not the same

We don’t need to see Benoit
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

All the mark fans say
We don’t need to see Benoit (We don’t need to see Benoit)
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes (We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes)
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

296 Cam-Eye: July 23, 2020

Eye Quit!

109 minutes

Blade prepared himself by remembering a number. RD uses his degree in broadcast journalism to do bad impersonations.

Blade wants someone to write them a script for one episode, which they won't follow because it won't fit on a paper plate. (:06)

Blade entertains the people. (:08) RD wants to bribe people to listen. His Etsy shop has a new name.

RD is discovering the power of grocery delivery and item substitution...from Kroger. This scares Blade. (:17) His favorite United Dairy Farmers' Chocolate Chip was replaced by Toffee & Chip. This possesses Mama for some reason. (:24)

Sebastian Bach, formerly of Skid Row and not the WCR Quartet, has beef with Chris Jericho "miming" for some reason. (:25) Cue Jericho promoing against him. Cue Bach wanting a fight. Blade has to read things without Satan/Stan to do so. They play something of Jericho proving himself by copying RD. RD gongs him. He then does his own attempt on Ricky in his Nathaniel impression. He gongs himself. Blade then does his own attempt on I Remember You by fucking it up immediately. RD gongs him. His second attempt goes slightly better. RD gongs him again anyway. Blade makes excuses.

Miss Elizabeth has a new action figure. There's no word on whether it also functions as an ATM. (:38) While in the UK earlier in the year (before the rest of the year happened) Blade was surprised how many people did not like her by not buying her doll. Wendi Richter too also has a new action figure. Blade finds himself stymied by not being able to offend like he used to. He once saw a Richter pencil eraser. LJN was once to make a Haiti Kid figure.

Mickie James wants to "run" for "president" in news already reported on by Raging_Demons...somewhere. (:44) Will her agenda be based on trains running on time and a free horse for everyone? RD does his Jeff Foxworthy impression if possible. He thinks of making the site more redneck since he can't fully escape his hillbilly roots. I reckon.

As already reported on...by me, Tam has been arrested. (:48) Even worse, some of her OnlyFans stuff was leaked before that. What a shock. RD expects her to pop back soon, and if so to come after Blade since he's a "reporter".

Blade's royalty checks are being sent to an old address. (:56) Sean C. McLaughlin of Facebook has a question about Cody. So of course the two discuss Rebel instead. Blade has a short attention span. What a shock. RD finds Maryse more attractive nowadays as a mother (MHLF?).

The two's dismissive opinion on Randy "Cody" Orton is unchanged. RD looks up the ever accurate Wikipedia to read more about him that one time he was with Ted DiBiase Jr., Sim Snuka, and Cody. The two cough dryly at this. RD: "Poor Sim Snuka. I don't even know who he is."

Who would run gallop with Mickie James? (:68) RD wants the Deever, $20 on Cameo Jackie Gayda, and Taryn Terrell. Blade wants the Deever's bad impression on Cameo, Jim Crockett, Demolition Axe (not Smash?), Trish Stratus, and the Black Scorpion who can make the debt disappear (or transform it into a tiger).

As expected the two are distracted by who is on Cameo, including $20 Shelly Martinez and $50 Vince Russo.

RD skips ejaculating to Ken Pantera swinging so he can play Higher or Lower on Cameo instead of pretending to talk about wrestling news. (:84)

• Lita $100 < Rikishi $109 (Blade is 0 of 1)
• Bret Hart $150 > Kevin Nash $105 (0/2)
• Torrie Wilson $65 < Baron von Raskhe $125 (0/3)
• Diamond Dallas Page $90 < Tatanka Buffalo $100 (1/4)
• Ted DiBiase $75 < Ryback $100 (2/5)

WWE is seeing TNA level ratings such that Vince (McMahon) may also have to be on Cameo. Blade was lucky to miss the latest PPV so RD has to fill him in on what transpired for some reason (since he had to suffer through it on his own). In response Blade declares his secession from the WWE Universe.

Speaking of low ratings, let Mike Check tell you about helicopters once again. (:96) For some reason he did not like Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters in the Mork & Mindy market (perhaps due to it being in space sometimes with that Popeye impression of his, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk). In Phoenix's KLPS Lips 103, he was Duncan Jones, he had to fly a helicopter there with Sandy Roberts, and together they did the Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Weather Report. This makes Blade cough with laughter. He leaves with a request from a "Dominick" for Willie Nelson.

Par for the course, with this show your hopes will have to wait:
Eye For An Eye match.
Book another one next year.
Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To/Coasty Marshmellow, Troma Dance 2020, Skyline Drive Thru
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Mimingtoatape.com
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Patreon and WrestleCrapRadio.com, drive in movie theaters, hot, someone reckon their lives.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Mike Check
  

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  5
• Blade Time Outs:  14 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps:  4
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  4
• You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Sean C McG
  
• AEW Dynamite is supposed to have a surprise opponent for Cody and maybe more.  What won’t be the surprise? Sim Snuka (RD) or Randy Orton (Blade).
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  If Mickie James runs for President, who should her running mate be?
• RD:  Taryn Terrell, Jackie Gayda, Layla El
• Blade:  Black Scorpion, Demolition Ax, Trish Stratus (previously Jim Crockett)

 

• Hi Lo Cameo!  The game where you pick who you think charges more.
• Lita or Rikishi?  Blade:  Lita.  Incorrect.
• Bret Hart or Kevin Nash? Blade:  Nash.  Incorrect.  
• Torrid Wilson or Baron Von Raschke? Blade:  Torrie Wilson. Incorrect.
• DDP or Tatanka (Buffalo)? Blade:  Tatanka. Correct.
• Ted DiBiase or Ryback? Blade:  Ryback. Correct.

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  KLPS Lips 103 (Phoenix, AZ)
• Radio Call Sign:  Duncan Jones 
• Partner: Sandy Roberts
  
• Show:  Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Traffic Report
• Song:  "In My Mother’s Eyes" by Willie Nelson 

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Take two?
  Eye For An Eye match.
  Book another one next year.
  Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.
  

260 Throwing Babies: June 3, 2016

"I'm crazy but you're insane???
Isn't that what you SAYED???"

63 minutes

(by R.V.M Kai)

In the third installment of Wrestlecrap Radio of 2016, RD and Blade dust off the Tin-Can-And-String to do an (emergency) hour-long second-by-second recap of a TNA Impact Wrestling YouTube clip starring "Broken" Matt Hardy and Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy.

As you know, for the two of you that have been following TNA this year [that number's way too high - PB], Jeff has been feuding with his brother Matt, who since suffering a storyline head injury had now gone "insane" (or "crazy"? What's the difference?), dyed his hair to look like Pepé Le Pew, and started speaking in a Shakespearean sort of "dramatic" tone [Matt Hardy became the "King Tut" of TNA. Its a "Batman '66" reference go look it up. - Raging_Demons.] [Edit: Is that so? I hope that doesn't mean that Jeff will resort to dancing the BATUSI to beat Matt at Slammiversay? - R.V.M Kai.] So, as shown on the recent episode on Impact Wrestling, Jeff rides all the way (just down the road) to Matt's "humble abode" to sign the contract to their grudge match at TNA Slammiversary 2016...but not before Matt's wife, Reby Sky, enters and throws...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!"

...A BABY???

(Note: For an enhanced experience, we recommend listening to the mp3 link at the top of the page while watching the video clip below.)

(Note Note: You'll also be required to pause and rewind the clip several times as RD & Blade make a 5 minute video feel like six one hour long.)

(Note Note Note: "GO!!!")



Blade then sings a song to the tune of "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies. (:59)



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right



NEW BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

Courtesy of Sean Breeding and our fine fellows at The Intestinal Fortitude, a combined and synced version of the above events. Cut out the middle Co-Fruitcake(s) and enjoy this fine and interactive submission for your approval!

EPIC BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

The parody videos have started after the airing of "The Comedic Tragedy of Broken Matt vs Brother Nero". Watch as EC3, Titus O'Neal, and Eli Drake make fun of the video. --Raging_Demons

SECRET BONUS OBJECTIVES (as discovered by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Such things.
  
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• RD Stops: 19
• Blade Stops: 8
  
• Blade Time Outs: 7 (1 Real Quick)
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Weird Al Laughs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy
  
• Isn't that what you SAYED??? It's OVAH!!!
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, how about a song about Brother Nero?
  

(259) The WrestleCrap Weekly Top 40: April 1, 2016

(Crap To Crap)

No dogs were harmed during the making of this progrem.

50 minutes

(In yet more time travel related shenanigans) "Kasem Casey" on WTKO The Knockout "counts down" some of the various times the Co-Fruitcakes and their "guest" characters sang on the radio progrem, complete with the full swearing left in! Can you believe it's been 3 years since they last sung with their seductive golden tones over bad MIDI tracks while RD laughed uncontrollably in the background? (Assuming you take it from the RD & Blade Show. Otherwise it's been 5 years since their last song from the original incarnation of the radio progrem. And 10 years since they last did an episode.)

Speaking of singing badly, you may remember when Blade had a WWCR Songs MySpace page that he forgot the password to, followed by having his own singing MySpace page when that was a thing for two whole months.

The songs in questionable question:

• Blade sings about Jim's troubles as The Barbequer. (:02)
• RD & Blade badly mangle the theme from Good Times. (:07)
• Blade finds it Hard To Say Goodbye on Mickie James' WWE release. (:09)
• The Co-Fruitcakes Didn't Know He Was Sick. (:12)
• Blade wouldn't spend 10,000 Bucks on Ashley Massaro. (:17)
• A totally real request from Ed Han Salo concerning 'a long distance dedication to his dog' (Poor guy, hasn't he suffered enough already on this show???) brings up The Twelve Days Of Christmas. (:21)
• RD 'sings' some cobbled together Dr. Feelgood MIDIs. Technically that doesn't count as a 'song'. (:32)
• Blade feels the need to sing about Mickie James' implant trouble. (:34)
• The Co-Fruitcakes say Goodbye (to the) Boogeyman. (:36)
• Blade enjoys Brown Haired Trish. (:38)

There is one new song at least, when the Cast Of Characters & Soundbites & Trolla Corporation products sing that in fact We Are WrestleCrap Radio, featuring an extended guest appearance from Jim which is enough to revive both Johnny 4 AND 6. Don't ask. Yes, again. (:43)

"Stewart Patrick": "I am here to sing my song. I'm leaving now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• April Fools
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. American Florists, Whirlpool, Mike Check bumper stickers, Folgers Coffee, Budweiser
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0. Magazines, nostalgic, movies, derailing the show
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

  

America’s Top 40 with Casey Kasem: Top 10 WrestleCrap Radio Songs

10.  The BBQer by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers)

9.  The Good Times Theme (cover) by RD and Blade Braxton

8.  It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Mickie James by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” by Boyz II Men)

7.   Didn’t Know He Was Sick by Blade Braxton and R.D. Reynolds (featuring Krankor and Mama)
(to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)

6.  10,000 Bucks by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “10,000 Miles” by The Proclaimers)

Long Distance Dedication
Ed “Han” Solo for his dog Snuggles
WrestleCrap Radio 12 Days of Christmas

5.  Dr. Feelgood (Motley Crue) by RD Reynolds

4.  Boob Pop by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Mmm Bop” by Hanson)

3.  Goodbye Boogeyman by RD and Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John)

2.  Brown Haired Trish by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Brown Eyed Girl”

1.  We Are WrestleCrap Radio by WrestleCrap
(to the tune of We Are the World” by various artists)

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 35. Mike Check, Casey Kasem, Jim, Bob and Weave, Sammy Sugar Daddy, CS John Kelly, Jim (2), Popeye, Satan, Sir Alec Heineken, Dixie Carter, Stubby, Nintendo John, Mike Check (2), Midnight Rose, BM Punk, Suzy Shuffle, Mike Check (3), Blade, RD, Stubby (2), Popeye (2), Bill Cosby, Jim (3), Dixie Carter (2), Midnight Rose (2), Mama, Lord Alfred Hayes, Huey the WrestleCrap Radio Ghoul, Crickets, Debbie Reynolds, Weird Al, Johnny 4, Stewart Patrick

 

•  F-Bombs: 14. Blade, Jim, Blade (2), Blade (3), Blade (4), Jim (2), Jim 2 (3), Jim 2 (5), Jim (6), Jim (7), Jim 2 (9), Jim (10)

 

• Krankor Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps: 1
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  

Episode 20: Gone Too Sooner: September 12, 2013

44 minutes

The Co-Fruitcakes talk about Transformers, Tiny Tim, and Tony Lister for some reason.

RD has completed the bulk of his re-write of The Death of WCW. Vince Russo is now on LinkedIn. Blade has no idea what LinkedIn is. I try not to be surprised. (:07)

:10 RD reads a 'press release' from Sunny about being a...lady of the sheets in the guise of a bed-based photo op. I'm sure this will end well. RD then asks for volunteers to take photos with her. I'm sure this will also end well. Blade acts as her pimp in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. This...does not end well.

Blade wants to post more on his Twitter. I'm sure that will happen by the next Vernal Equinox. (:19)

Jim at the WCR Roast, hiding his
face in shame with...his own face.

Jim Ross is retiring to "focus on his personal business endeavors" and NOT because he doesn't want to be parodied any more by Vince or have things shoved up his rectum while Michael Cole mocks him. (:24) The man himself calls in to liven things up and tell the world the TRUTH: he's retiring because he wants to stay in bed (and imagining Dark Journey is with him ala Sunny up there). He and RD remember all his old 'businesses' throughout the years. Also Jim has an Amazon wishlist, which is so 2006.

Blade sings. RD ruins things by laughing out loud. (:39)

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 5. Dave Meltzer, Vince Russo, LinkedIn, USA Network, Prime Time Wrestling
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Finger cuffs
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 4. Soundwave, Autobots, phonographs, Wicked Lester

 

• F-Bombs: 5. Jim (3), Blade, Jim (4)

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jim, Hulk Hogan

 

• Blade Time Outs:  3
• RD Time Outs:  1
  

 

• Blade has no haiku, but a tribute song to Jim.

202 It's not easy being Mean: November 11, 2011

71 minutes

Wow, they're even lifelike!

A rather animated RD reads through his latest copy of Fighting Spirit Magazine (which he gets Lord Alfred to shill for). It's not just because he once again has his regular column for it, but rather due to a cover story involving Blade's dear lady centaur. It includes a bad pun that even the crickets would ignore for being too terrible, photographs with Raven and Ricky Steamboat of all people, and subtle goading from the editor to talk about her...rather 'risque' past. Blade has her fun with her as usual, though Mike Check randomly calls in to try and mess around. (:09) RD Strongbows him, and without even waiting for a song first! That's just not right.

Is that split served with banana topping?

:14 Blade is an obscure motherfucker as ever. RD uses Old Spice body wash that has the "power of a mountain". This makes me wonder why on earth WWE has not got the new Old Spice guy to be a Raw guest host. He'd be more charismatic than half the current roster.

:21 Sad News: Beavis and Butthead are using their music. Even more Sad News: the originally thought deceased-sick Haiti Kid has reanimated himself and come back to life, according to ever accurate sources. Who to believe? How about neither, so let's just see this random video of him sitting on Gorilla Monsoon's lap. On the subject of characters, RD feels he has to 'explain' Chief Jay Strongbow to newer listeners, (And if any are reading this (and if so, why?) have you tried our glossary yet? It's really shiny.) so he uses a video to aid him. Sure enough, he calls in too. (:28) [R.V.M Kai also made a commentary video of this interactive segment.]

SPEAKING OF strange interviews, Joanie Laurer's 'tickled' to win an award. RD wants to keep moving. Blade invents a new character on the spot to read a 'letter' of hers to Vince. She also has a new YouShoot video featuring questions from Trash Losagain and Mr. Fitness (2).

More Sad News: (:34) Tammy Sytch had a bad fall from an escalator. Even worse, her auctioned gown from the week before may be up for auction again. Even more Sad News: Blade can't find her Facebook page. Seriously though, I can empathize with her since escalators are not fun. They always scare the hell out of me whenever I use them.

Former ECW announcer Courtney Taylor is a new mother. (:38) Blade addresses the anti-feminists in the audience.

The Honky Tonk Mailman also likes to fuck. This explains why he's not here this week. (:47)

SPEAKING OF people Blade used to fuck, his ex-girlfriend didn't like Gail Kim for some reason. (:47)

Even in a minority the Listeners are a minority.

James Braxton (no relation) thinks his professor is one of the Listeners. (:50) Blade thinks all Listeners are some sort of albinos. That makes some sort of sense; there are so few of both albino and Listener in the wild after all.

:54 Mrs. Deal is no fan of mustaches. Poor woman. The Muppets on Raw made Blade vomit with rage. Blade does his Kermit impression which RD feels is better than the one done on that show. He then does an Irish Iron Mark.

Back in Maxim again (was Playboy out of room or something?), Kelly Kelly explains what a 'stinkface' is, taught to her by the wrestler 'Rafiki'. (:61) Blade has to apologize for giving joke names to people. Allegedly. It's probably just the drink again.

RD can take no more.

Blade sings for a third straight week. I think he's making up for his 'lost' singing career from three years back. I'm still waiting for my order of his Hobo Six album.

$2.00 ($39.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

201 Piper's Pit-SA: October 28, 2011

73 minutes

"Don't work for Vince Russo"?

It is once again Halloween, which gives RD & Blade ample opportunity to fluster and filibuster and fart around as per their custom. Of course they do it all the time, but more so in this case. Blade has 'morals' that he hangs on his wall. He repeats about the time he wore a Darth Maul outfit and Don Mason wore a star on his face. (:10) RD wants to be the king of the geeks nerds & poindexters. (:15) He'd be scarier than any tyrant.

:17 Piper's PSAs raise a question: Is it Thank YOU or Thank YA? Blade once received Mork & Mindy trading cards and even an action figure. Those are worse than razor apples. At King's Island RD escaped 'paying' for raisin boxes. RD's PSA: obtain some actual good candy to give out.

:27 Blade paid the Big Nippled Vampire and now has to 'schedule' her to be on their progrem. Nowadays she seems to be stuck on TMZ answering randomly awful questions. Huey is possessed by Satan. RD calls him "Son of Huey".

At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
At last we shall have our Mars bars.

:32 Lita's in a Haunted House called the Atlanta Chamber Of Horrors. Sadly it's not Jim Ross' UWF Haunted House and we don't see Abdullah The Butcher on an electric chair, so I don't really care about it much.

:38 Sunny is auctioning off her Hall Of Fame dress as the latest high priced spunk rag. Blade repeats the story of Don's blow up doll. Is it a sign of dementia if you repeat the same things over and over again without knowing it? "I am ashamed of myself" Blade admits.

:41 "Satan" calls, seeing as how it's his season. Leave Santa Claus to the commercialism of Christmas, this is his time damn it! Former old guard Madusa disagrees with Kevin Nash on WWE. I can't argue with that; no offense to the man but he did help kill off WCW after all.

Not, not sure I get the reference, there, Carl.

:46 RD once again has to go back to Facebook to answer a 'Question' from Carl Zayas. The Co-Fruitcakes do, however, somewhat 'answer' his query. I think that's the only way to get an answer from the two; send them something that is less about wrestling and more just a random non sequitur.

:52 The Honky Tonk Mailman has the 'holiday' off. So why is he spending his time on the radio progrem? That's more arduous than any work I've seen. In his neighborhood people hand out Wrestling Observers instead of candy. Even Blade is speechless. In 'today's' news Hulk Hogan is returning to TNA...three weeks ago. The Halloween Havoc '98 commemorative stamp has a free refund. (For those who don't know, WCW was so inept that they were forced to air the PPV for free the day after, thus enraging those few who had paid for it. But don't take my word for it.) RD is worried about the Colonel's regression into a baby. But does he speak in Bruce Willis' voice?

The audience also took a nap during Vengeance.

:60 Blade forgot his bicentennial popcorn bucket. 'This is why you fail," he tells himself rather circularly. The ring at the recent Vengeance PPV can support a 40-man fight but apparently not just two guys standing on top of it. Blade does his Iron Mark Tyson. (:65)

:66 RD plays Blade's recording with Piper. He's not actually on the show, and I can't blame him. He probably thought the duo would take another month to record an episode and decided to be recorded instead. He's rather contradictory in his advice this time, advising trick-or-treaters to "burn [the] lawn" of those they don't like and send unwanted and poisoned food to Vince so that he can "look like Moolah".

Blade sings again.

$1.00 ($37.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

200 The Call-Out: October 21, 2011

137 minutes (!)

If their arrows blot out the sun,
it would help global warming.

Despite missing two months to who knows what, things are back to 'normal', at least before the duo takes the year off due to someone breaking their back or something. And what better way to do that than to reminisce, both with the Co-Fruitcakes and other Listeners favorite moments on a forum thread. Even RD has forgotten a few moments during the show's history. This shows he's not a regular visitor of this here site which would have helped him out. And he would also know that our Beloved Founder (The Founder to my Premier as it were) [To my hired help? - Clarence][The Founder to my Premier to my Showstealer, as it were.] has helped summarize all their episodes. Go have a look. Trust me, it's better than this week, because nothing of note happens for the next 24 minutes, except for another Don anal story (is there any other kind?).

Blade spoils things by saying that Rowdy Roddy Piper (the ACTUAL legend and not just his legendary PSAs) will be appearing next episode. (:18)

Blade has found his favorite 'Nitro party' entry. (:22) He reads an '11th hour' letter sent in August.

And now you can end the show here if you like. (Mrs. Deal! Get Iggy on the phone!) This is because the rest of the show is just people calling in and messing around. If that sounds familiar...well it is, and we don't even get Global Internet's Greg or the Zombie to spice things up. I'm not necessarily going to take them to task for disobeying the Cornette Rule and repeat the same angle (or episode) only after seven years, and I know they were probably rushed for time to do something or risk wasting yet another fruitless week. But looking at this from a creative viewpoint as I always do, they should at least have made one thing different. Perhaps have Nate come back from the 'dead' and have him break Mike Check out of jail so he can call in randomly and threaten them with a Men Without Hats song or something. I'm expecting next year to be another clip show that would rival the infamous TNG episode Shades Of Grey in terms of nothing happening.

So this year we're essentially getting a WCR Roster roll call as various characters call in to fart around and have fun for some random reason.

And I wonder if I'm losing my mind sometimes.

:25 Pleasantries out of the way, let's get to the self-congratulatory circle jerking. Jim Ross calls to insult the two. Hey, that's my job! I didn't realize he was a newly recruited Co-Historian. He revisits his only video to read comments.

:34 One 'loan' bright spot arises with John Thomas, sight for sore ears. Blade 'thinks' about him. John's been hunting Brakestown down over lifetimes like a Highlander.

:42 The Honky Tonk Mailman gives a call, now the longest running Intercontinental champion TNA correspondent for doing fuck all while the show was hibernating, thank you very much. Matt Morgan's been un-injured six weeks ago. The new Zack Gowan stamp is made from Lego pieces.

Be afraid.

:52 Popeye calls in. He has his own website. Hilarity ensues.

:59 Nintendo John likes some Castlevania game, but hopefully not the one featuring that Bond villain and that guy who sounds like "Stewart Patrick".

:68 David Lee Roth calls in like he's some sort of frequent character now. Sadly his soundboard has no new lines from Runnin' With The Devil so he's not much help.

RD 'remembers' when Johnny Six hosted a show with Blade that one time, which is an excuse to draw a one-line joke even longer than it should. (:72) Are we sure this wasn't included in that April Fools show that one time? Or for that matter, aping Iggy's summations?

Blade's ex-girlfriend does not want to be on the show. I have no idea why. (:76)

:82 Chief Jay Strongbow.

:82 The Midnight Rose calls. He hung out with Blade who played a cripple in a movie. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:90 Corporal Fagsher is still possessed by a car. Knowing he he's probably just censoring himself with his own car noises.

:94 Stubby does his shtick. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:104 B.M. Punk is Chief Jay Strongbowed, as per usual.

:105 Satan confuses RD by 'rereading' Billy Graham's letter. I think he does it even more so by not having his music play while he originally did that. He actually congratulates them on their 'achievement', as he is wont to do.

:111 Sir Alec Heineken and Ellie are 'engaged'. He reads a 'poem'. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:117 Mike Check gets his prison call. Finally, an actual celebrity! Now the show is picking up. Did he ever tell you about the time he was at Omaha's KFLU 102? He was John Cillin to Andy Rooney's Penny Simpson to host the Penny Cillin Show. [And of course the Curse strikes again, felling the man a fortnight later. - Future PB]

Blade does his Bill Cosby. (:127)

So too his Iron Mark Tyson.

:129 Stevie J shows how ad copy is SUPPOSED to be done. He and his Angry Marks Podcast co-host (Co-Fist?) congratulate the duo.

RD doesn't want to take any more chances and decides to end the show. I don't blame him.

Blade 'doesn't do haikus' on anniversary shows (yes you fucking do) so he sings instead. Mrs. Deal! Get that 80's era Casio keyboard!

$4.00 ($36.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

189 White Christmas: December 21, 2010

91 minutes

RD knows about Blade's drunkenness beforehand, so he's ready to deflect his early bad jokes. Santa likes them though, and RD plays his crazy laughter from another famous bad movie to needle Blade's bawdiness. (Santa Claus Conquers The Martians) He should do that more often in my opinion.

:16 Five year old RD Junior is more mature than the radio progrem. SPEAKING OF people being mature, Blade wants to continue hosting the show with him when he gets of age, assuming he doesn't die or become Mike Check's new bunk-mate. Regardless, his local Santa has a barely disguised trash can as a 'postbox'. On the subject of other uses for a trash can, Blade is still thinking with his penis, angering RD to no end. His grandfather didn't have to put up with any of THAT stuff in his time!

:23 Batista's daughter has her own sex tape. Is that like a rite of passage nowadays? Fortunately RD shares my mischievous way of thinking and gets cleverly crafted revenge by 'leaving' for a few minutes. Thus, what would normally have been generic Sad News about some randomly generic woman connected to the New York Giants turning down an offer to work with WWE is made infinitely funnier, as drunk Blade is left stumbling over his lines and repeating himself, while (if you listen very closely) you can hear RD laugh quietly in the background. He should REALLY do this more often.

Meanwhile Scott Hall caused a 'disturbance' at a gas station. That's all we get from the Faxtrolla, which raises an important question: Was he being disturbed over the high cost of gas? This gives Blade license to shout randomly.

:38 'Satan' calls, sounding far more sober and calmer than Blade. Something's not right here...This time Shane Helms is angry at Shawn Michaels for some reason or other. Then again most people are too so it's not particularly uncommon or out of character really.

:43 John Kelly has another bad 'pun'/legal advice about Tara/Victoria's Custom Shop almost burning down.

:47 RD has had enough and skips to opening presents.

• Harry Simon sent RD some video tapes. 
• Kelly sent RD Rifftrax's DVD of Plan 9 From Outer Space, always a winner. 
• Steven Breech sent Blade some action figures, some of them decapitated. He also had a He-Man bag clip thing. 
• Stevey J sent RD some nice foods from Montreal and a Rocky III Thunderlips figure (not decapitated). 
• Fire At The Time sent Blade Lita's Bestiality Video (on DVD!) as well as some trading cards for the duo. RD got a Tommy Dreamer on the toilet figure. 
• Ed Salo sent the duo some Japanese cereal. He also found an old tabloid article about Ric Flair seemingly help plan Operation Desert Storm.
• The Gillman sent a donation to the site, which was very charitable of him. 

:67 From Jake "Yippee" Lloyd Jr., RD gets his figure and a really old Star Wars game. Jake also sent Blade a throw of Boba Fett and Mickey Mouse as Luke. Stubby sent RD The Twilight Zone's Willie the dummy. Blade also sent him a King Pedophile shirt.

All-Time leader in Trashbags

Blade's last gift is perhaps the most interesting of all. (If you can call it that.) (:74) RD sent him an audio CD that's basically the sports equivalent of one of those personalized children's books where they find themselves within the story. In this case, Blade is the QB of the Lions (and a beacon of the community too at that), leading them against Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. RD plays an early excerpt but you can listen to the whole thing here. Now I wonder how it would sound if I were Captain of the Habitant playing against Detroit for the Stanley...[Hopefully better than this - Clarence]

:80 The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes have a 'gift' for the Listeners: a WCR rendition of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, made through a 'get together as a group' of the progrem's cast of characters that RD & Blade could do impressions of. Apparently they've already forgotten about the last time they got together, at the Roast, which was just months ago. Well, when it turned out like that, I'd try and forget about it too. Cue out of tune music.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the First Day Of Christmas C.S. Irwin gave to me...
A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Second Day Of Christmas Angry Jim gave to me...
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for Johnny Ace and one for McMahon)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Third Day Of Christmas Gay Popeye gives to me...
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk. 
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for RD and one for Blade)
And A Partridge in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fourth Day Of Christmas Satan gave to me...
4 Virgin Sacrifices
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Bottles of lube (my wife hasn't fucked me in about two years)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fifth Day Of Christmas Sir Alec gave to me...
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessed Wrestlers
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Years...of your wife not fucking you
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Sixth Day Of Christmas Dixie gave to me...
6 Sugar Cookies (to make a Samoa Joe snowman)
5 Long John Douches (right underneath the table)
4 Possessed Facebook Profiles
3 Big and Burly's
2 Bankrupt Restaurants
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Seventh Day Of Christmas Stubby gave to me...
7 Sleazy Crack Whores 
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches (gotta love that malt vinegar) 
4 Daemonic Twitters
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Nuts in Dark Journey's Mouth
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas Nintendo John gave to me...
8 Power Gloves on the Nintendo (His audience cheers)
7 Contaminated Meals
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Evil MySpaces
3 Requests For Peter Gazer's Phone Number
2 Fuck Yourselves
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Ninth Day Of Christmas Mike Check he's going to give to you...
9 Bumper Stickers (from WSUX in Tuscaloosa, Alabama where he was Danny Dryson, and with Washington Jones did the Wash'N'Dry for the Tide)


RD: "I like it the song has come to a complete stop while he keeps talking."


8 Super Mario Games on the Nintendo
7 Sloppy Blow-Jobs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Failed Exorcisms
3 Periscopes
2 Assholes Shoved Up (Jim!)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas Midnight Rose gave to me...
10 Dead Cockroaches
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Amazon Chops
7 Premature Ejaculations
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessions Of Sunny
3 Dock Dinghies
2 Meat Beatings
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas B.M. Punk gave to me...


(RD interrupts before he can shoot his load, the Scrooge)


On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas R.D. Reynolds gave to me...
11 SPEAKING OFs...Verne Gagne masturbating
10 Copies of Maria's New Album
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Pro-Am On The Nintendo!
7 Bottles Of Wood Polish
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Bowls Of Pea Soup Vomit
3 Nights With Pluto
2 Feathered Boas
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Twelth Day Of Christmas Blade Braxton gave to me...
12 Cans Of Miller Lite (and maybe 10 JPEGs of Mickie James naked too)
11 SPEAKING OFs
10 Scars From Eating Some Holiday Pineapple All Night Long
9 Bumper Stickers


Blade: "You're making this song feel like The 500 Days Of Christmas, buddy."


8 Back Issues Of Nintendo Power Magazine
7 Oozing STDs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Linda Blair Nude Photos
3 Not Just Spinach that Gay Popeye likes in the can, Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Packs Of Beef Jerky from JR's Restaurant (and not from that cocksucker Hillbilly Jim)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

181 The WCR 5th Anniversary Telethon: August 13, 2010

182 minutes (!)

It's the 5th anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. No, I can't believe it either.

With bad MIDI music playing, Blade remembers his favorite moments of meeting Mike Reno and Hollywood. RD's were meeting Vince Russo and the numerous characters the two have voiced. "I would not like to remember any shows without Angry Jim Ross." says he. He also forgot to credit the Ratings Reaper on their disc. Perhaps I should inquire if next time I should do all the detail smoothing... Meanwhile Blade is stuck on feces and the fetish of Bette Midler farting. Lord Alfred shills, as he is always a master at doing.

For the rest of the show the Co-Fruitcakes call and then hang up on the 12(+) Listeners on Skype. Because, sure, why not? RD asks them for one (1) favorite moment of theirs on the show, then Blade asks them a random question on Don (Mason) before RD quickly hangs up on them. Of course, he can only talk to so many in thirty or so hours, and I know for certain that neither I or Kelly asked to be called either. Regardless though, let's see who we get on the air. [I didn't either. Sorry to break kayfabe folks but there was only room for one drunk guy on the show this anniversary and Blade filled the quota - Clarence]

:13 Austin Gilliam, the Gilman. He takes the call while security guarding in the rain. In a lovely Southern accent he likes Don Mason and his attempts to have sex with a midget. He easily gets his question right and is subsequently congratulated by Sir Alec's audience.

:19 Chainsaw Rich, Master Control Operator in NY. The Co-Fruitcakes worry that he won't be fired from his job while taking the call. He understood Mike Check, and certainly liked Blade losing his bet, and many years later RD losing his bet and having to sing. Alas, he fails the Co-Host trivia question so it is now 1/2.

:25 Amanda. She does the right thing and hangs up. Next then is The People's Regulator. He very much liked Sir Alec (Guiness)'s story about Frankie. He cannot answer the question so we're 1/3.

:32 Brandon, one of those who 'attended' the Roast. They have to call him through his girlfriend but before they cause further wacky hijinks they hit the voicemail. So they call David, Angry Jim's stunt double at that Roast with the same Vivaldi music as Alec. He makes a customary bad joke but makes up for it by getting the question. The tally is now 2/4.

:38 Mr. Snatch. He's incredulous of them calling while outside a bar. He's always liked Bedding Man. 2/5.

:43 T-Man from Blade's Myspace. They hit his voicemail too. Blade keeps wanting to call Amanda back for some reason, and this time he manages to get through. She also likes Bedding Man. 2/6.

:51 Frank In New York, the guy fired from Circuit City. He's still looking for a job. He listened to them talk about a Maxim list while on jury duty and couldn't stop laughing. 3/7

Blade has to take a leak and thus makes the show more bearable to listen to.

:59 Dominic "Mysterio". Like me he once listened to all the episodes in a week. He remember John Thomas calling and hitting on Blade for some reason. 4/8

:64 Bob Taco. He likes Jim drafted to Blade's Co-Fruitcake role during the last Draft and breaking down. 4/9

:69 Ed Salo can't be reached because he changed his number. They call Brian instead while RD looks for Ed's number. They hit Brian's voicemail too. They call another guy now, Byron. This time they get through. He remembers a (Horny) Jim Ross giving a replacement gift of Oklahoma Sooners boxers to the guy who won the auction for Katie Vick's outfit but refused to accept it. 4/10 Blade thinks everyone thinks Don is gay. (I just think he's bisexual.) RD finally reaches a very mellow Ed at :76. He's always liked the original (and classic!) tale of trashbagging. He's also enjoyed reading the Book of Lists. "It's a page turner," he says listlessly. 5/11

:82 Pete. He remembers the show falling apart when the two watch that Tarzan Boy music video. 5/12 Brian is called again and now they are successful. He had to put on his pants first. He remembers Nathaniel being replaced at his job. 5/13

:90 Robert Q, who's written for the site before. He also liked Blade's having something to say, especially when he had to denounce Demolition. 5/14

:96 Primetime. He liked Jim Ross losing his restaurant. But disturbingly, does his young nephew listen to the show??? 5/15

:102 Roid Raging Douche Chills. He remembers his question being read immediately after Blade revealed he had sex with the Katie Vick outfit. 5/16

:108 Will. They talk to his wife who's also a listener, and also has a thing for her husband's Mike Check impression. Of course - how do you think he managed to impregnate all those women? He is fond of listening to the show while deployed in Iraq, but fails at asking RD for a freebie for the two of them. It was worth a try, at any rate. He breaks the streak of losing at answering the Don question (this one about him and his grandfather finding a guy fucking a horse), as the score is now 6/17.

:119 Newt. He doesn't pick up the phone. Blade has to go to the bathroom again while RD calls another guy named Anthony. He had inadvertently led to the duo having their infamous discussion about banging your meat (preferably with a stick). He sings White Lion and likes Greg calling in angered at all the false rumors spread against him and his legitimate web-hosting company. 6/18

:127 Josh. He had once paid to be on the show before. 6/19 At least this time RD actually says his farewells to him before hanging up.

:133 Rob the Nerd. He also enjoyed hearing about how Blade had sex with a pair of clothes. Before he gets any further the loudness of the Don Mason musical sting drowns them both out. He does get to answer the question correctly however. 7/20

:138 Shawn "Michaels" Breeding. He also had to put on his pants before answering. He liked their last year Christmas-themed episode. 7/21

:143 Toom E. Guci, a highly valued moderator on the WC forum. Unfortunately his wearing Jimmy Wang Yang boots at a restaurant named Dick's Last Resort makes Popeye call in, once again without having to have the telephone ring. Mr. Guci gets through with good humor but sadly fails at the question too: 7/22.

[As a somewhat unnecessary but interesting to me only aside, I think these characters and impressions are how RD expresses himself sexually. Blade, the sexually frustrated bachelor who drinks a lot and is a general raconteur is always a rowdy man to be around. This shows in his (drunken) speech of course. but also shows in the majority of the characters he voices. RD on the other hand, the more stable based man with a happy family and an occupation which sends him to Disneyland a lot, is much more subtle and indirect in how he 'handles' the matter (nudge nudge wink wink). It's very much a meeting of opposites in that regard. (And no, I'm still not Clarence.)] [Interesting theory. I may have to steal it. I shall call it The "Blah" defence - Clarence]

:150 Stevie J. of Angry Marks. At this point everyone is tired, but Blade still (drunkenly) talks to Lady J. about something or other. I couldn't catch the skein of what he was trying to say. Mr. J also likes trashbagging, but isn't good at this Don Mason trivia sadly. 7/23.

:161 Taylor, the valedictorian Blade mentioned last year, gets applause from the (still awake) audience. He also wonders if Blade wants to have sex with his grandmother. He can still remember the first episode, RD wondering if Blade is "ready for this." The man's as witty as I, he'll go far in this company I think. Sadly, he cannot answer the question, leaving our final Don Mason tally at 7 out of 24.

Tsk tsk. If those people were frequent readers of this site that percentage would be much higher, let me tell you! [/shill]

Blade interrupts himself with Sir Alec reading a letter from another man named Tony Nagle (:170) and John Kelly being quieter than usual, but at least Blade gets himself to sing about the show.

RD (still wanting a tear in Robert Gibson's glass eye): "I know I don't like where this is going."

173 The Mickie James Tribute Half-Hour: April 25, 2010

35 minutes

Normally there would be no progrem this week, RD is a very busy man after all. However, the future endeavoring of one Alexis Laree AKA Mickie James is enough for him to call an Emergency Session of WCR, and you know it's important enough that Blade returns to his Overnight Jazz headphones.

In the most talk about wrestling we've had in close to two years, the Co-Fruitcakes reminisce about WCR's Patron Mascot (she's a Centaur, remember?). Blade remembers his first ever mention of her in relation to Matt Hardy, his infatuation with her tail lifting based on his arousal by some random woman from some obscure 90's TV show, and her love of horse riding on farms. Plus, this photo. And so he is mandated to sing some soul to her at the end of the show.

Also Angry Marks has some new ad copy (:06) Unfortunately I'm in no mood to register WCRTrendingTopics.com. I'm sure my friends Clarence Mason and Erik Majorwitz might want to though...[A lawyer PAYING for something? Are you nuts? - "Showstealer"]

- Premier "V For Victory" Blah

[My gracious regards to Steveweiser for a clarification on her names.]

(171) WrestleMat Radio: April 2, 2010

27 minutes

RD & Blade talk about wrestling... 

...

...or do they?

157 I can't get no Stratusfaction: September 18, 2009

74 minutes

RD is angry at Trish Stratus' new brunette hair color. Of course Blade thinks otherwise. Even Gay Popeye turns temporarily hetero at the thought, which for some reason makes his music longer than normal. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.) RD tries to persuade them with a haiku.

Trish is now brunette.
What more can I really say?
The thrill is all gone.

Oh, so we can leave early then?

Wait, there's another hour of this left to go.

Fuck.

Still no Celebrity TRIP (:11) so instead Blade has to make do with more on Gymini dolls. Bad news: none have been sold this week. Good news: a plastic sticker has been stuck on the back of the damaged Doll so it can join the rest.

Obscure News: (:17) Blade needs to reach the 5000 friend capacity on Facebook. Ivan Koloff has a strict screening policy on his networking sites. Blade fails all his requirements. RD looks at Blade's student referrals on his Facebook page. New Jack is once again acting like a drunken fool on Myspace so Blade has Sir Alec read his drunk bulletin. (:29) The Zombie is now a father! RD wants him to give parenting tips on the show. The HorseTrolla says Mickie James' implants have burst. Blade needs to sing about it, so he does. (:38) In response the Midnight Rose calls with Tony's Theme; he likes Trish too now. (:40)

Question of the Week (:43) from Brian J. who wants to know why he should watch RAW when football season is upon us. (A good question, for once.) RD saw the Pats vs Bills game and insults the Bills. He doesn't like Tom Brady either so he sings about him. Blade doesn't like it so he sings another song against him. Thankfully he only gets so far, so he tries again with another angle. That also fails.

RD gets Johnny 4 for his line of the week. (:52) "Jim Cornette got fired fired fired stay away from dairy queen queen queen queen queen," he says. RD: "Worst TNA Correspondent ever."

Jim Ross calls in to gloat. He's still on the hunt for Dark Journey, AKA Linda Newton, who seems to have taken a Dark Journey off the face of the earth.

Drugs? Naaah!

Current News: (:60) Hulk Hogan has a wrestling company named Hulkamania touring Australia in November, of which he is in the main event against Flair. Blade saw the only copy of Brooke Hogan's new CD which terrifies him. He tries to link her songs to wrestlers. Jeff Hardy has been arrested for drug dealing, and may be facing jail time for opium, of all things. Blade shows his support for him through a loud burp.

Blade sings for his new love Trish.

153 WrestleClip Radio: August 14, 2009

(144 minutes !!!)

Previously, on WrestleCrap Radio...

"We've covered dog semen and shitting in trashbags. That's a start, that's a start to a good day."
- Blade Braxton

Blade is to RD as the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson. The show has been running so long that Blade's 'students' from four years ago are now graduating high school, one of them doing a "Speaking Of" in his Valedictorian speech. Iggy and I are the 'finest of the youngest of the eggs' with Ultimate Kennedy. Thus to celebrate this 4th anniversary occasion (and them both being lazy after whatever they did) they decide to relax with a first for the show - a clip show. It worked for Star Trek after all (except when it didn't).

We must first mention our sponsor, globalinternet.net (:05) RD thinks Greg dresses as Gilbert Lowell from Revenge of the Nerds. Our second sponsor is angrymarks.com (:07) as RD does their ad copy in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. Blade reminds us of his wrestling appearance at August 15 in Granite, Illinois, close to St. Louis. Next stop, Smackdown!

As we take a TRIP to the Grocery (:12) RD remembers all his non-Grocery TRIPS, including...

(:13) Black Friday, where he met Calculator Man and Bedding Man (:15) Blade would come, but he is scared of Cornholes. SPEAKING OF Cornholes... (:21)

As we're still celebrating we play the MIDI Dr. Feelgood for RD to sing to. Here's some more 'great' singing...

(:24) RD and Blade sing off to each other on Halloween.
(:28) RD beats Triple Kelly at his game of singing Cher.
(:35) Blade sings a song about Ashley Massaro.

RD goes through all his sound clips: Krankor, RJ Fletcher, Al, Mama, Crickets, Huey. Blade has one clip to symbolize the show, his favorite in fact. the infamous Beating Meat clip. (:40) Some more favorites of the two:

(:49) Sir Alec's debut, with his first great debut story
(:53) RD loses it.
(:59) Frank from LA tries the Captain Crunch Milkshake
(:68) Alien Ham
(:72) Trashbagging
(:75) Blade meets Superstar Billy Graham and the Rods in his dream.
(:79) Gorgeous George stripping for Blade
(:81) Don...Don Mason finding a guy fucking a horse.

RD was scared that Blade would tell Vince Russo Don Mason stories. (:83) Thankfully he didn't and so we hear about Vince signing copies of the Death of WCW. We also hear how the dearly missed John Tenta first heard of WrestleCrap (:84) and of Lance Storm dancing. (:86)

Remember the Co-Host Contest? RD and Blade sure do, particularly the sound of one contestant farting. (:89)

If you think THAT'S rude, you don't want to hear Jim Ross' frequent calls on the show to rant for no reason. Including:
(:92) Jim Ross being angry on being featured on site inductions.
(:96) Jim Ross beating his meat with Dr. Death Steve Williams.
(:104) Jim Ross as a TNA Correspondent? No chance!

SPEAKING OF TNA Correspondents...
(:109) Johnny 6 likes skank hos.
(:113) Stubby is as lewd as ever.
(:118) David Lee Roth does not want to cover TNA news.
(:120) Mike Check makes himself at home on the Whacker, WWCR.
Blade's favorite TNA guy was Stubby, of course. RD could never see his lips move.

(:128) We hear the Coliseum Video music for Current Wrestling News, still as great to hear as ever. RD remembers Blade's quest to milk Linda Hogan. (:129)

With the appearance of the WrestleCrap Quartet (:132) we go back to the first great Haiku all those years before, which went something like this...

First Ever WrestleCrap Haiku:
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

(:138) RD and Blade sing to cover up the past four years. Sing along, won't you?

Didn't Know He Was Sick

12 Listeners, fine young egg, Glen "Campbell" Kane
Hit the bottle, BM Punk, Rebecca DiPietro
Mickie James: Centaurlicious, Brother Midnight: No-pants business
Tee Hee Tickle Party, The (Ashley)'s a ho

Nicole Bass, Hobo, "Rockin' Chair," Bistro
Tajiri's wife can't drive, Precious Paul's frozen eye
Lions-Colts, "You're hurtin' me, Randy," Crochet Queen
Prostitute roommate is lactating for money

Didn't know he was sick
Knotts is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

JT Titty, "Tarzan Boy," Mountain Dew Doritos
Johnny Six, Randy West, JR hates Gorbachev
Boo Berry, Good Friends, Ricky needs help again
"ZZTopwinsTerrisHouse, I bet that's not taken"

Ric Flair with a bear, Kelly Kelly somersaults
John Thomas selling Grit, Greg at Global Internet
Bill Cosby, Joyce DeWitt, bring back WSX
Blade as the Penguin, Demento is a douchebag

Didn't know he was sick
McMahon is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Loverboy, He-Man's log, Unibomber-style shack
Corn oil, Miller Lite, Big Nippled Vampire
Midnight Rose, Sir Alec, Ghetto Skeletor
Lift the tail, Triple Kell, watch out for the Clumsy Girl

Lord Littlebrook's legs don't work, Jack and the Curly Q's
Granny panties, Strongbow, Gorgeous George nude show
Gazer, Stubby, Chili Twistaroni
Bridget Midget, Scaleface, no sex on Mimi's first date

Didn't know he was sick
Cronkite is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Lena Yoda, Gay Popeye, That Trolla Tattoo Guy
Betsy Russell, Nipsy Russell, Verne Gagne masturbating
Great Khali's giant tooth, Val Venis sold his pooch
Roddy Piper's neighborhood, Deever's curly hair is good

Vince has a turkey neck, who killed Mike Check
Jillian's mole, Michelle McCool likes to roll

Didn't know he was sick
Harvey is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

White Castle, Trash Losagain, Trish's meat curtain
Dunk tank, Virgil's cock, Dusty's book, funk sock
Candice glow stick, banging Katie Vick from behind
RD scrammed, Alien Ham, Mama - "Damn, damn, damn"

Star-O-Saurus made kids cry, Anonymous Brooke's backside
Jazz Blade, cheap headset, RD loves Kurt's moveset
Lita wants Blade's bone, met at a car show
"Please and thank ya," "Mrs.Deal, get Dave Meltzer on the phone"

Didn't know he was sick
Carson is not alive
We lost another guy
Didn't know he was sick
Johnny's gone and on and on and on...