255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"

106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays instead but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants Europeans (non-Americans) to watch American (non-European) football. On an unrelated note, RD's Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???

For a change, Raging Demons does this week's shilling.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003. He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did some sort of part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the two didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton

Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"

"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull IPA, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candice Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from sunnyskype8@gmail.com. The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last time. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley (2) wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Co-Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 3. Evasavealot.com, PleaseandThankYa.com, hornyonquaaludes.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Holiday jokes and wisdom, perfect guests, shocking, shocker
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Ben Vereen, Eva Savealot

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 9. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, Raging_Demons, Eva Savealot, Don Mason, Danielle Harris, Traci Lords, BM Punk, Stan (formerly known as Satan). Mike Check

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 9
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Zane U Paisley (2)
• I’ve been summoned for Jury duty. What pro wrestling shirt should I wear to court?  Anxiously awaiting your response. Blade: Francine 4:69 t-shirt.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Vince isn't a fan of color. SummersEveSlam?
  Vince doesn't like blood.
  Will the next pay per view be
  sponsored by Tampax?

 

209 WCR.F.D.: July 7, 2012 ("Aired" on July 13)

102 minutes

For some reason with the Co-Hosses not being 'able' to do a show these past few days despite their vows to do so, the two have decided to 'cut their losses' and just decided to put the show out of its misery end the whole thing without any rhyme or reason.

(Or it could be that RD is tiring of the progrem and wants to move on. Personally, I don't blame him.)

To that end, the two have had a table at the recent Days of the Dead Con in Indianapolis (what an appropriate name, to get the obvious joke out of the way). To assist they've found whoever they can scrounge up as their "12 Listeners" to be their Live Studio Audience Laugh Track of this Very Special Episode. This apparently involves them watching the duo go through all the 'motions' of the show and change their voices every now and then.

Why does it make me feel like I'm watching their Roast again? I'm almost expecting Trash Losagain to walk in at any second.

One thing that can be considered almost a universal constant: Blade is once again made the fool here. I think it's all that alcohol he's been drinking, both here and throughout most of his radio progrem life. This isn't helped by the fact that seeing something about dead chicks doing anal reminds him of Don. (:06) I don't want to know what would bubble out on you if said dead chicks did such things to you though.

Blade seems quite 'determined' to have his own show by doing monthly 'specials'. Don't hold your breath kids.

Stubby is brought from underneath their table. I don't want to know what he was doing down there. (:09) He didn't even bring his canned laughter, so the audience provides one for him. RD finally gets one up on the figure and renders him speechless. Blade misses his (future) chance to talk to a tree in his backyard.

The Duo still need to promotional considerate even though it won't be any use to them pretty soon. (:12) This is an excuse to once again mock the Shining Wizards ad feed. A Listener leaves because "I've heard enough."

That done, RD tosses Doritos bags to the peanut gallery. (:22) He invites a guy on 'stage' to try some hot dog flavored chips, which taste like bad hot dogs. So, like most hot dogs then? Blade likes to eat Earl Campbell's sausage.

Sir Alec 'calls' over the phone because he's on 'honeymoon' back home in England. (:31) However, judging from the timings between Indianapolis and London (which has the thespian awake at around 1 in the morning) this is less him on a late night boat ride down the Thames and more like him being drunk and hallucinating said honeymoon back at his abode. My guess is Ellie got tired of his infatuation with douching and left him for someone else. My other guess would be Mike Check.

Regardless, Blade does Alec as Blade doing a bad English accent and has him read a few lines of 'poetry' that he totally didn't randomly scribble down on a sheet of paper a few minutes before recording. Alec still has his cheering crowd of supporters with him, hopefully not capsizing his honeymoon boat or, more likely, taking up too much space at home and causing a ruckus with the neighbors. We shall see which outcome seems more likely in the near future.

(Again, don't hold your breath.)

Nintendo John has his own cheering audience with him too as he 'calls' in. (:37) He remembers playing old horror games. On the Nintendo. Sadly, Monster Party was so scarring it made him quit his playing. On the Nintendo. He plans to upgrade to 32-bit though and become Super Nintendo John. "Kryptonite can't see me!" he proclaims.

The Honky Tonk Mailman also calls in, though he has an excuse seeing as he's not in Indy right now. (:42) Good move on his part too; he shouldn't risk his life being with them after more than 526 days during a year where RD & Blade did fuck all progrem wise. As a reward for his perseverance Blade plans to send him an empty box. Stamped, of course. He leaves without even bothering to report any news. Perhaps he was all out of Wrestling Observers that day.

Iron Mark calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand. (:47)

B.M. Punk calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand because RD quickly hangs up on him. (:48)

"Satan" calls in not long after. (:48) Of course he's not there in person either, but he has an excuse. It seems he "has a leak in his ceiling" and he has to do things himself around the house. Perhaps he can get D.I.Y. tips from Angry Jim Ross? Sunny and Reby Sky have been arguing about Sid Vicious, for some reason. RD thinks he's hearing Satan's phone ring. I bet it's God laughing at and taunting him, having been the source of his leakage all the way down in Hades. If He DID create the multiverse as we know it we know that pulling a prank on His hated adversary is not really something strenuous here. Blade relaxes his throat by shilling his being Satan in a movie.

:55 Dustin Runnels is in some horror movie somewhere. That's more news than I can stomach. Blade responds by inviting a woman up on stage with him. (:56)

Someone in the audience is tasked with delivering a "Question Of The Week" to ask about Blade's new show. (:61)

Again...don't hold your breath.

People start wondering in and out of the room. (:61) Blade dons his Midnight Rose mask to flirt with some pretty ladies. Any results from that have yet to be seen.

RD responds in turn by doing his Mike Check impression. (:73) This time, neither even bothers to wonder what he's doing and why he's not still in prison. He's just...'there'. Perhaps he's existing in Indy and in prison at the same time in some sort of Schrodinger's nightmare. (In my case, I'll still pretend he's in the Big House and hacked his way in again. It will make things much easier to figure out.) Did he ever tell you about the time he worked with the recently no longer with us Andy Griffith in Winston Salem's WMOO "The Moo/Big Cow 1240"? He was Pop Stevens and Andy was Stan Cherry, and together they hosted the Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour. Sadly no one knows if it was sponsored by Dr. Pepper.

:81 TNA has some new gimmick of a crack whore (named Claire Lynch for the three of you who care). This has to be explained to Blade for some reason. AJ Lee looks to be about 12. One guy is so excited by this revelation he doesn't even finish texting.

RD has had enough and outright asks some of the audience of their favorite moments from the show. (:90)

Haven't we done this already?

:94 Blade does his Jim Ross impression. He's just now discovered the cellphone.

Seventeen Easy to Digest Syllables (of Fun):
The end of the show.
After seven years, we're done.
Now let's take a bow.



As expected, the Ratings Reaper finally gets off his ass to 'cancel' the show. And I thought I was a procrastinating motherfucker. There's always a bigger fish, it seems.

Of course, RD gets the literal last laugh. I expected nothing less.



$11.00 : $25.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 



For the three of you that care, I'll be posting a later piece about the future of this here website. It's still going to stay up long after the radio progrem has ended of course, so don't worry. Much.  

 

 

 

Facts & Figures From The Future (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Shining Wizard Wrestling Podcast, AngryMarks.com
  
• URLs not taken: 3. GiveMeHookers.com, GimpedUpWhore.com, DrunkandOnGimmicks.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Anal, Don...Don Mason, defecation
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Incest Death Squad Part III, Trish Stratus’ penis

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 19. Matt, “Viewing Booth” Bill Cosby, Sir Alec Heineken, “Nintendo” John, Honky Tonk Mailman, “Iron” Mark Tyson, BM Punk, Satan, Stephanie, QotW guy, Midnight Rose, Mike Check, Peter From NYC, Nick, Peter From NYC (2), Jim,  Jim (2), Ratings Reaper

 

• F-Bombs: 39. Blade (23), Stubby (7), “Nintendo” John (2), Satan, Jim (6)

 

• Blade Time Outs:  16 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  3
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
• Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  14
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps: 3
• WrestleCrap Radio Gongs: 2 
• You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Some Unabomber in the crowd
  
• If you had to pick a new name for Blade's podcast, what would it be and why? Gimped Up Whore.
  

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WMOO Big Cow 1240 (Winston-Salem, North Carolina)
• Radio Call Sign: Pops Stevens 
• Partner: Andy Griffith as Stan Cherry
• Show:  Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour
• Song:  “The Party’s Over” by Johnny Mathis

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade's swan song:
  The end of the show.
  After seven years, we're done.
  Now let's take a bow.
  

208 No Gold Star: April 20, 2012

104 minutes

Big Announcement: Blade's drunk again. No wait, not that: WrestleCrap will have a table at a actual convention. It's only on the Saturday though, so Blade can get drunk and try to be Danny Trejo's sidekick.

RD recently saw the famously bad Birdemic and was traumatized by it. (:07) Next time he should watch it with its Rifftrax.

RD and Blade read the Shining Wizards Podcast ad copy just to make fun of it.

RD is happy with Brox's chocolate Easter bunny. (:21) RD tried bare some of those gifted spicy sauces.  The two gave away a few bottles.

Diamond Dan's HOTT line is finally called for some Obscure News. (:32) Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.

Blade tries some Doritos Jacked. He likes them. (:35) He recently uploaded a video of he and his friend trying out imported Japanese Doritos.

:40 Blade's beloved Jessica Alba 'fought' John Morrison for a commercial. This of course gets Blade going on her. Diamond Dallas Page admits Dave Grohl was unhappy with his theme music. Blade mumbles drunkenly.

"Satan" is so lazy he calls in just to say hello. (:51) His Tubular Bells sounds different again.

Steven Austin's barn was badly ravaged, but it's nothing he can't fix. Jim Ross calls, seeing as barn fixing is his expertise. I think. (:57)

:63 The Anonymous One asks about balls dropping.

SPEAKING OF balls dropping Mike Check answers. He hosted American Bandstand in Philadelphia in '52. 1852, to be exact. (I hear Lincoln was a fan of his. Mary Lincoln, if you know what I mean.) Did he ever tell you about the time he was at WFIL "The Fill 830" with Bob Horn? He was Little Mike E and together they did Horn-E at Midnight. I admit, that made me laugh. He gets possessed by Jim Ross for some reason.

:76 Blade needs to be filled by the Honky Tonk Mailman, who's been busy delivering tax forms. Did you know that next week he'll break the actual Honky Tonk Man's Intercontinental holding record? Wow, is this show awful. Random discussion about using the mentally challenged as man-servants ensues. Joe Park Esq., formerly Abyss, is coming to TNA last month. Kerry Von Erich's stamp comes in halves.

:86 Sad News: The Bellas are leaving WWE for...something. Penthouse is my guess. Don once made a stop-motion Muppets porn movie. (:91)

No Holds Barred is finally coming to DVD. AND distributed by WWE no less (their films division perhaps? That would be something.) (:94) The duo reminisce about WC in the Internet's Iron Age. Blade's Iron Mark Tyson impression wants to see Don's movie. Hey, who doesn't? (Besides me?) (:101)

So here it is:
No Holds Barred on disc.
Twenty jock-ass years later:
Dookie in high def.

Oh, and Chief Jay Strongbow is no longer with us. This is all the Co-Fruitcakes have to say about it:





























(How?)









Finally, some money to be made! $8.00 ($14.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right)

206 Hulkanymphomania: March 9, 2012

79 minutes

Unexpectedly the radio progrem starts with actual wrestling news: Hulk Hogan has a sex tape, and he's not doing it with Linda or Brooke or his current beau. Or Ed Leslie, thankfully. For more 'information' on it, skip to the last five minutes.

The duo worry that from talking about this new revelation they won't talk about anything else. Of course, they don't talk about anything at all. I don't see the problem here.

RD meanwhile is to collaborate on his own videos (...wasn't he already doing so?). He is going to work with his former fellow Fighting Spirit Magazine correspondent and equal reporting legend Bill Apter (:04), the first product of which is to be uploaded in the next week. Not to be outdone, Blade reveals how he used old Apter mags as expensive coloring books, and that the Midnight Rose will be in New Jersey in June to appear in person on Vince Russo's YouShoot recording. (Feel free to write potential questions here if you're a registered member on the forum.) Recent inductee Brakus is with Fantasio on some interview online which I'm too lazy to find. (:10) The Boogeyman now has a rather rude name.

RD wants another telethon (:15). Sad News: Blade lost his Jerry Lewis button.

RD needs a new sponsor to replace Global Internet for some reason, so he reads a 10,000 page ad copy from The Shining Wizards Wrestling Podcast, one of which is that guy who gets aroused by Blade's burps. RD has to admonish Brad for interrupting him while doing so.

Until April 1st, the 'WrestleCrapMania 2012 Sale' has all the DVDs from $16.95 US. Blade wonders about listening to all the shows in a row. I was bored enough to do that once. Let me tell you, it should be banned under the Geneva Convention.

Sad News: Payton Manning's been future endeavored by the Colts because they suck without him on the field. (:27) RD pisses off Blade by now deciding to also cheer for the Bengals, the Giants, and whoever Payton's new team is. My money's on the Jets, Bills, Cardinals, Chiefs, or the Rams. Hell, he may even fuck with people's heads and play in the CFL. Hell, he should go to Canada and quit football entirely. I can totally see him as General Manager for the Canadiens and piss off the Quebecois media for not speaking French yet. Or he may even play on the ice and probably score more in one game than Scott Gomez's done all season.

Long digression over, RD mourned this occurrence by taking a TRIP to the Louisville Arcade Expo. Long discussion about old school gaming follows. In Jefferson, he saw something for "Churro Cereal" and one of Jerry's Restaurants and saw a restaurant called Moby Dick with a really angry mascot. Unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps?) Popeye does not show up to crack jokes. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.) Blade yawns, fascinated by all this for sure. He saw an RD's Liquor Store once while on the road.

"He piled upon the whale’s white portion the sum of all the general appetite and
hunger felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his stomach had
been a mortar, he burst his cold mouth's tongue upon it."

Blade is flabbergasted by the fact that they've only gotten to Obscure News 43 minutes in. Our good friend Joanie Laurer is in yet another porn film, this time as She-Hulk. RD wants Stan Lee to make an appearance, though perhaps not necessarily participating with her. Blade's friend once went in blackface. This silences RD. I would be silenced too; I didn't know Blade was a good friend of Ted Danson. Perhaps HE can be a Celebrity Tripper to the Grocery in the future.

The Big Nippled Vampire still hasn't called yet as she is in a Funny or Die video. (:48) RD does not remember Ute Luddendorf who is NOT in one. He does remembers Patrick Warburton though.

"Satan" pays a visit. (:52) His Tubular Bells sound different again. He's somehow corrupted a HorseTrolla into a "DevilTrolla". I personally think someone's ripped the Prince of Darkness off. The only Daemonic-style HorseTrollas that are sold (The DreadSteedTrolla) look more like a Khornite Juggernaught. I'm surprised he hasn't yet seen the "Made In Elysium Fields" tag on the side and called Trolla Customer Support about it. On the other hand, he DID make a fuss about the Ratings Reaper not paying him $15,000 for some reason, so I can see that he would be hard up to buy a counterfeit knockoff rather than the real thing. Hell, I could have hooked him up with one for free as a gift.

Anyway, there's something about Mickie James making no sense online. "Satan" really needs better writers for the stuff he makes his 'subjects' say. Again, he probably just can't afford them.

Pete from Austria has the Question Complaint of the Week (:58), attacking RD's knowledge of German and the fact that Austria and Germany are two separate countries. Next RD will have us believe that Africa is a country.

The Honky Tonk Mailman's not around again (smart man) so Nintendo John calls instead. (:63) He doesn't like the new WrestleFest remake and he loses his composure for some reason. Blade wonders if he's anorexic from his appearance on the Roast. Well of course, if he subsides on power-ups with no nutritional value (on the Nintendo). His crowd stays behind to cheer.

Blade loses his train of thought. I'm shocked, I really am. (:68) New Jack and Brian Knobbs got into a backstage brawl, easily won by the former ECWer. Blade's forgotten about Brock Lesnar already.

The two then spend five minutes on Hogan's sex tape (:74) That's six more minutes than I would have given it.

Seventeen Easily Digestible Syllables:
Hulk sex-tape on way.
Something I don't want to see:
One eye of Hulkster. 

RD: "I like how you did that haiku. It kinda sounded like Chief Jay Strongbow doing it."



What's this? Only one Jar transgression? (0.50c) That's not possible. Or I just didn't pay attention as usual. Someone remind to give this another listen.
$4.50 (plus the $19.99 The Price Is Right).

203 Erectile Misjunction: December 2, 2011

81 minutes

Random musical discussion plagues us on this "Wrestlemania" of the progrem, so Mike Check calls to join in. (:05) RD Strongbows him. "There's no one listening to this show now," he says before he begs (to no one listening to this show now) for gifts (get them in before the 13th, kids!).

RD on Blade's rowdiness: "Sometimes we have creative differences."

Tom Cruise in Born on the Fourth of July really likes his penis. (:11) An interested Popeye calls. (:14) No no no Popeye; TRAVOLTA is the closeted Scientologist, not Cruise. He calls out Blade on his bisexuality.

If all that excites you, their annual Black Friday Sale is still on. Call now, pain later.

:21 RD's Black Friday was different this year; more and more stores are having Black Thursdays, which is really missing the point of the whole thing. His nearby Toys'R'Us seems to be in Roddy Piper's Neighborhood. At Wal-Mart a girl in a shopping cart was pulling herself along and throwing things on herself. Blade was too tired to make fun of cripples. What has this world become?

:39 Hell's frozen over as the Midnight Rose and Stubby and "The Black Friday Scorpion" went Black Fridaying and got called out by a well meaning lady with supernatural hearing. The "deal of the night" to Blade was flirting with a mother and daughter. RD calls him out on his "Wrestlemania moment".

:43 Dusty Rhodes is naked in an upcoming Christmas movie...available January 17th. Popeye wants a starring role. So too does Jim Ross. (:47) He's stuck having 'fun' with Dark Journey erotica and being out on Black Friday being arrested for selling meat in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He thinks working with Dusty would help him with...something. RD doesn't know what he wants. Neither do I. Has Jim been hitting the turkey beer lately?

:52 Matt Hardy's random Giants lady girlfriend wants an 'honest, sober boyfriend'. This is Sad News to Blade, another lost opportunity to no longer be single. Even more Sad News: Blade's not 'drinking'. I still don't believe him. Even more more Sad News: RD's fantasy football team is failing (He's 9th of 12 as of this writing).

:57 "Satan" has dieting tips for the season. He also has some sort of 'feud' with the Ratings Reaper because he won't loan him $15,000. "You don't know the value of the dollar in Hell," he protests. And I thought the feud was because the two sound so similar...He narrates New Jack's refusal of Sunny's alleged desire to kill her boyfriend.

:64 Blade is too lazy to answer any Question of the Week.

So too is the Honky Tonk Mailman lazy to appear. I can't blame him.

:66 Remember when RD was supposed to do the Crappies in 2008 but forgot about them entirely?

The big news this week is the brouhaha over Sin Cara's phallic shirt. In what definitely seemed like a good idea at a time, 'Sin Cara's Penis' calls. (:72) I have no idea of half of what he's saying because he sounds an awful lot like a Stubbed Ratings Reaper.

RD: "Our Wrestlemania show, you're to tell me!"

Seventeen Syllables for us:
Penis on T-shirt.
Greatest Christmas gift ever.
Too bad it got yanked.

$5.00 (I'd use that to buy Blade condoms for his pleasure) ($44.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

201 Piper's Pit-SA: October 28, 2011

73 minutes

"Don't work for Vince Russo"?

It is once again Halloween, which gives RD & Blade ample opportunity to fluster and filibuster and fart around as per their custom. Of course they do it all the time, but more so in this case. Blade has 'morals' that he hangs on his wall. He repeats about the time he wore a Darth Maul outfit and Don Mason wore a star on his face. (:10) RD wants to be the king of the geeks nerds & poindexters. (:15) He'd be scarier than any tyrant.

:17 Piper's PSAs raise a question: Is it Thank YOU or Thank YA? Blade once received Mork & Mindy trading cards and even an action figure. Those are worse than razor apples. At King's Island RD escaped 'paying' for raisin boxes. RD's PSA: obtain some actual good candy to give out.

:27 Blade paid the Big Nippled Vampire and now has to 'schedule' her to be on their progrem. Nowadays she seems to be stuck on TMZ answering randomly awful questions. Huey is possessed by Satan. RD calls him "Son of Huey".

At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
At last we shall have our Mars bars.

:32 Lita's in a Haunted House called the Atlanta Chamber Of Horrors. Sadly it's not Jim Ross' UWF Haunted House and we don't see Abdullah The Butcher on an electric chair, so I don't really care about it much.

:38 Sunny is auctioning off her Hall Of Fame dress as the latest high priced spunk rag. Blade repeats the story of Don's blow up doll. Is it a sign of dementia if you repeat the same things over and over again without knowing it? "I am ashamed of myself" Blade admits.

:41 "Satan" calls, seeing as how it's his season. Leave Santa Claus to the commercialism of Christmas, this is his time damn it! Former old guard Madusa disagrees with Kevin Nash on WWE. I can't argue with that; no offense to the man but he did help kill off WCW after all.

Not, not sure I get the reference, there, Carl.

:46 RD once again has to go back to Facebook to answer a 'Question' from Carl Zayas. The Co-Fruitcakes do, however, somewhat 'answer' his query. I think that's the only way to get an answer from the two; send them something that is less about wrestling and more just a random non sequitur.

:52 The Honky Tonk Mailman has the 'holiday' off. So why is he spending his time on the radio progrem? That's more arduous than any work I've seen. In his neighborhood people hand out Wrestling Observers instead of candy. Even Blade is speechless. In 'today's' news Hulk Hogan is returning to TNA...three weeks ago. The Halloween Havoc '98 commemorative stamp has a free refund. (For those who don't know, WCW was so inept that they were forced to air the PPV for free the day after, thus enraging those few who had paid for it. But don't take my word for it.) RD is worried about the Colonel's regression into a baby. But does he speak in Bruce Willis' voice?

The audience also took a nap during Vengeance.

:60 Blade forgot his bicentennial popcorn bucket. 'This is why you fail," he tells himself rather circularly. The ring at the recent Vengeance PPV can support a 40-man fight but apparently not just two guys standing on top of it. Blade does his Iron Mark Tyson. (:65)

:66 RD plays Blade's recording with Piper. He's not actually on the show, and I can't blame him. He probably thought the duo would take another month to record an episode and decided to be recorded instead. He's rather contradictory in his advice this time, advising trick-or-treaters to "burn [the] lawn" of those they don't like and send unwanted and poisoned food to Vince so that he can "look like Moolah".

Blade sings again.

$1.00 ($37.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

198 Null-Stars: July 22, 2011

82 minutes

Using the opportunity of C.M. Punk 'escaping' WWE with the belt, Triple H has finally taken his revenge against Vince for putting him in The Chaperone and has temporarily replaced him on screen. My advice for his first order of business: remove whoever is running WWE Studios with someone more competent.

A rare deal this week only: you can have the Archive Disk for only $15! Related to that you can also get Blade's limited Midnight Rose shirt until August 15th.

:12 Blade wants to search the "Canon" to find how long his Doug Jarvis-style Mickey James mentioning streak has lasted. (Heh, it's funny seeing the legendary Hab winning his 6th Stanley Cup as an assistant coach with Boston) While I CAN tell you when they started talking about her in the first place, I'm not that much of a fool to go over the episodes AGAIN to pinpoint any gaps and holes in that streak. Not unless serious bribes are involved. Anyway, there's more shilling of this very site. RD wonders if a (no doubt fascinating) segment named "To Quote Mike Check" would be the next Fantasy Booking Island.

:17 Blade thinks the show is menstruating. I think it's more like it's going through menopause. RD's been in Europe much of the year, but he only took the opportunity just recently to go visit Disneyland Paris. At right is an example of what is considered a fun ride for young children. Speaking of unbroken hymens...sadly Popeye does not call in claiming to have made the ride. Shockingly Blade is not drunk...yet. Again, he's probably getting his 'caffeine' in Irish coffee. Cap'n Crunch Treasures are King Pedophile cereals in disguise. (:25) Sadly Popeye does not call in here either to show his approval.

:29 The Big Nippled Vampire was once supposed to be on the radio progrem against Damien Demento but for some reason she sadly couldn't make it. Sad News: her webpage was down at the time of recording (it's up at the time of writing.) Sir Alec is summoned to try and take her place. (:35) He has another Shawn Michaels 'story' about him against PETA.

New Jack has been rather heated against his former girlfriend Terri Runnels, she of the house scam. (:43) Sad News: according to him she was spreading a venereal disease around the locker room. Sadder News: she was once involved with New Jack. Saddest News: remember when Don's friend fucked a horse?

:47 Satan's Tubular Bells are back to their regular 'normal' sound this week. He can't get inside Google Plus yet though. Those anti-daemonic wards must still be working. He reads for us more of New Jack, who apparently has 'naked photos' of her. Even worse is Gene Snitsky 'hacking' his own page to insult the Miz and his fans because he has a hot girlfriend instead of a foot fetishist bounty hunter angle.  Good news is RD doesn't bother to censor him this time. His daemonic powers are probably at full power today.

:54 The BNV had some rather strange ring names. Poor lady, she must be far too nice to ask for more dignified sounding names. The Question of the Week is from Dallas James who is lonely and wants to crash a party. RD wants one made for the 200th episode. Blade wants uploaded footage of character dress up to be discussed on said episode.

:59 The HTMM is again a no-show so Jim calls instead. (:62) He needs a taste tester and takes the time to mock "Johnny Age" and can relate to a TNA Knockout's face paralysis. Then he abruptly leaves. 

:67 Blade does his Mike Tyson impression. C.M. Punk stores his belt in his fridge to make it Mountain Cold. RD can't help but watch a old clip of a random lady shooting on someone. Why she's not currently on Raw is a mystery for the ages.

Vince's fashion sense is as impeccable as always.

All kinds of stuff:
Vince in salmon suit.
Goodbye to wrestling, hello
Chicken of the Sea.

$5.00 ($28.00)



What's this? Blade's crossed the $25 mark with flying colors? Why, this calls for...well, a prize! Something bonus that can be fit into the jar (if physically possible) to commemorate this fantastic milestone.

What do you have for us, Rich?

That's right P, it's The Price Is Right computer game! Now you too can have fun coming on down in the comfort of your own home! Get on the Showcase Showdown, get the chance to win a brand new car, or even just mess around just to hear those legendary losing horns while flirting with Carey's Cuties. It can be done with this Nintendo John Seal Of Approval game right in your hands! All this in stunning Windows XP-era graphics for the amazing actual retail price of $19.99, but only if...The Premier Is Right! Back to you, P.

($28.00 plus TPIR game for $19.99)

(Many thanks to Robert Q. Seidelman for the item recommendation. Check out his site here. Trust me, it's far more funny than anything I could write.)

197 I have something to say...3-D: July 1, 2011

101 minutes

DO NOT WANT

The AFC lost the Pro Bowl, so RD must recite many listener-submitted insults. This is despite him trying to make everyone forget about his debt by having so many weeks pass without updating the radio progrem. A noble attempt to be sure, but futile.

Beside that, the Co-Fruitcakes have to make it up by discussing the passing of Randy Savage. (:09 - :17) He once had an erection at some point in time that only Blade noticed. But he's not gay or anything. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.)

RD's PSA (:22): Use more efficient methods for birth control. Ruffles Double-Fisted Bacon Cheeseburger Chips have a rather unfortunate name, despite their taste.

RD went to Disneyworld again for a Star Wars Weekend (:28) where he met a Mon Mothma impersonator. Apparently Peter Pan moonlights as Luke Skywalker. As worrying as it may sound, it might have its benefits. Instead of having to get around in an X-Wing he could just Force Fly to his destination.


The Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness II are fighting vertically-challenged combatants in Topeka on the 16th. (:40) The bare mention of his name is enough to get Tony's Theme running, like it always seems to do. It's his ring tone or something.

Rose is also with Jim Ross and Stubby sending weird submissions to the Honky Tonk Man on his second shoot DVD. Some random online reviewer doesn't get them, thinking that Jim sounded somehow like Freddy Krueger. Jim calls to dissuade him (badly). (:45) Apparently he was a big fan of 38 Special.

Satan's Tubular Bells sound different somewhat. (:50) Gorgeous George thinks she's Jim Ross. (But not sadly as Freddy Krueger.) "The Devil made me do it." is her excuse.

The HorseTrolla tells us that Mickey James is 'opening up' for that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. [I wonder what would draw more. A concert with Mickie and that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish....Or a TNA live event? - Clarence] (:55)

Warning: Do not
consume rectally.

(:59) RD has to answer another Question from Facebook, which is tough as no one wrote an actual question.  He cheats by reading one of those 'questions' from Robert Stenburgh. Blade analyzes the current movie scene.

The Honky Tonk Mail Man has no deliveries for Blade this week. (:64) Perhaps he also works for Canada Post and was on strike.

:66 Blade keeps listening to that 'rerun' of Mike Check as Bob Ali at WTKO The Knockout. RD wonders if this particular edition will be called "Summerslam '88 Boner" for some reason. You're confusing me, Randy.

The big news this week is rather obvious: CM Punk's 'rampaging' worked shoot at the end of Raw. The two have some sort of discussion on the response, which involves Scott Steiner for some reason.

SPEAKING OF Scott Steiner (:76), RD can't help but show Blade a promo for his workout video, which involves him being dry humped by two women.

:80 Blade decides to just give RD all the suitable submissions he wants him to say. However, many make no sense and keep referencing Gay Popeye, thus diluting their potency. Better luck next time Mr. Brakestown.

That being said, whoever came up with the line "the Swear Jar, when full, will be shoved up my ass." is an absolute genius.

Someone has written a haiku for RD:
Chick-a-dee Chyna.
Wanna get that vagina
and freak like Steina'.

In what could only be loosely termed as a Alexander Pope style 'satire', B.M. Punk has his own work shoot worked shoot on-air diarrhea. (:96) No word if he's doing it sitting cross-legged on a toilet seat.

$4.25 ($23.00)

I AM planning for an extra 'reward' for Blade to have to pay when he passes that $25 dollar tier. Whatever it is though, I have to think on still. Suffice to say it should be...something, alright.
 



[Edit: A full list of Deal's "I have something to say" quotes can be read here]

195 How: April 29, 2011

60 minutes

Now available in HD.

WrestleCrap Radio returns to the (digital) airwaves after a two year month absence. Lucky me. I would say the break in recording is from some karmic retribution of not actually making a proper episode before the April Fools one, hence this result. But I don't think anyone would be the wiser from this. Either way, it is fine by me. Anything to lessen the, ah, 'experience' of subjecting myself to and summarizing the radio progrem. (I really am a masochist.)

#1 It also appears the DraftTrolla supersedes all made bets, as Glen Danzig has been drafted to WTKO The Knockout. He would certainly have a lot to say on THAT network, that's for damn sure.

Sad News: WWE Niagara Falls has been future endeavored.

#2 To try and liven things up Gay Popeye is drafted to the laugh track. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. (:05)

#3 To try and liven THAT up Mike Check is drafted to Promotional Consideration. Hilarity ensues as they try to get him to shill from prison. (:07)

#4 Jim Ross is drafted to take a TRIP to the Grocery. (:19) He was too busy standing vigil for Johnny Ace's moist skateboard to find anything of note there. "Never trust a carnie with your meat Deal," he advises.

The Midnight Rose is now on cable in Kansas. (:26)

#5 RD tires of Blade much earlier than last time, so he gets Sir Alec on his end of the tin can and string instead. RD is not sure how long he should play his music. (:30) Trish Stratus is selling some sort of water online. Sir Alec often used hush puppies when malt vinegar was not available.

#6 "Satan" is summoned so RD can explain what exactly he does on the show. (:36) His old friend Billy Graham is up to no good again. Neither is Mickie James.

#7 SPEAKING OF the Midnight Rose, he's drafted to answer the Question of the Week. (:41) It's from Raging Demons (5), who thinks a porn startlet looks like Madison Rayne. Shouldn't that be the Observation of the Week insetead?

#8 Stubby reclaims his old post of TNA Correspondent. (:46) TNA is receiving a worker's comp lawsuit from an injured Daphnee. (According to the Honky Tonk Non-Mail Man, Karen Jarrett also has her own suit against the company .) Sir Alec temporarily becomes possessed by Popeye for some reason.

:52 Sin Cara is on a trampoline like Dennis Stamp. WWE wants to make their own TV network. Then Blade starts coughing, causing RD to laugh uncontrollably.

#9 Chief Jay Strongbow is drafted to deliver the Haiku.
How. How. How. How. How.
How. How. How. How. How. How. How.
How. How. How. How. How.

#10 The radio progrem's Intro tune has been drafted to replace the Outro.

A very minuscule amount for the Swear Jar, just 50 cents, for $18.00. I don't count swearing from Blade's other characters because that's in their character to act around like that. Now, if Brakestown HIMSELF does it, that's a whole other story entirely!



*Note to self: Insert self-portrait with my own WWE Niagara Falls Cup here*

189 White Christmas: December 21, 2010

91 minutes

RD knows about Blade's drunkenness beforehand, so he's ready to deflect his early bad jokes. Santa likes them though, and RD plays his crazy laughter from another famous bad movie to needle Blade's bawdiness. (Santa Claus Conquers The Martians) He should do that more often in my opinion.

:16 Five year old RD Junior is more mature than the radio progrem. SPEAKING OF people being mature, Blade wants to continue hosting the show with him when he gets of age, assuming he doesn't die or become Mike Check's new bunk-mate. Regardless, his local Santa has a barely disguised trash can as a 'postbox'. On the subject of other uses for a trash can, Blade is still thinking with his penis, angering RD to no end. His grandfather didn't have to put up with any of THAT stuff in his time!

:23 Batista's daughter has her own sex tape. Is that like a rite of passage nowadays? Fortunately RD shares my mischievous way of thinking and gets cleverly crafted revenge by 'leaving' for a few minutes. Thus, what would normally have been generic Sad News about some randomly generic woman connected to the New York Giants turning down an offer to work with WWE is made infinitely funnier, as drunk Blade is left stumbling over his lines and repeating himself, while (if you listen very closely) you can hear RD laugh quietly in the background. He should REALLY do this more often.

Meanwhile Scott Hall caused a 'disturbance' at a gas station. That's all we get from the Faxtrolla, which raises an important question: Was he being disturbed over the high cost of gas? This gives Blade license to shout randomly.

:38 'Satan' calls, sounding far more sober and calmer than Blade. Something's not right here...This time Shane Helms is angry at Shawn Michaels for some reason or other. Then again most people are too so it's not particularly uncommon or out of character really.

:43 John Kelly has another bad 'pun'/legal advice about Tara/Victoria's Custom Shop almost burning down.

:47 RD has had enough and skips to opening presents.

• Harry Simon sent RD some video tapes. 
• Kelly sent RD Rifftrax's DVD of Plan 9 From Outer Space, always a winner. 
• Steven Breech sent Blade some action figures, some of them decapitated. He also had a He-Man bag clip thing. 
• Stevey J sent RD some nice foods from Montreal and a Rocky III Thunderlips figure (not decapitated). 
• Fire At The Time sent Blade Lita's Bestiality Video (on DVD!) as well as some trading cards for the duo. RD got a Tommy Dreamer on the toilet figure. 
• Ed Salo sent the duo some Japanese cereal. He also found an old tabloid article about Ric Flair seemingly help plan Operation Desert Storm.
• The Gillman sent a donation to the site, which was very charitable of him. 

:67 From Jake "Yippee" Lloyd Jr., RD gets his figure and a really old Star Wars game. Jake also sent Blade a throw of Boba Fett and Mickey Mouse as Luke. Stubby sent RD The Twilight Zone's Willie the dummy. Blade also sent him a King Pedophile shirt.

All-Time leader in Trashbags

Blade's last gift is perhaps the most interesting of all. (If you can call it that.) (:74) RD sent him an audio CD that's basically the sports equivalent of one of those personalized children's books where they find themselves within the story. In this case, Blade is the QB of the Lions (and a beacon of the community too at that), leading them against Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. RD plays an early excerpt but you can listen to the whole thing here. Now I wonder how it would sound if I were Captain of the Habitant playing against Detroit for the Stanley...[Hopefully better than this - Clarence]

:80 The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes have a 'gift' for the Listeners: a WCR rendition of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, made through a 'get together as a group' of the progrem's cast of characters that RD & Blade could do impressions of. Apparently they've already forgotten about the last time they got together, at the Roast, which was just months ago. Well, when it turned out like that, I'd try and forget about it too. Cue out of tune music.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the First Day Of Christmas C.S. Irwin gave to me...
A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Second Day Of Christmas Angry Jim gave to me...
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for Johnny Ace and one for McMahon)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Third Day Of Christmas Gay Popeye gives to me...
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk. 
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for RD and one for Blade)
And A Partridge in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fourth Day Of Christmas Satan gave to me...
4 Virgin Sacrifices
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Bottles of lube (my wife hasn't fucked me in about two years)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fifth Day Of Christmas Sir Alec gave to me...
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessed Wrestlers
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Years...of your wife not fucking you
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Sixth Day Of Christmas Dixie gave to me...
6 Sugar Cookies (to make a Samoa Joe snowman)
5 Long John Douches (right underneath the table)
4 Possessed Facebook Profiles
3 Big and Burly's
2 Bankrupt Restaurants
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Seventh Day Of Christmas Stubby gave to me...
7 Sleazy Crack Whores 
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches (gotta love that malt vinegar) 
4 Daemonic Twitters
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Nuts in Dark Journey's Mouth
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas Nintendo John gave to me...
8 Power Gloves on the Nintendo (His audience cheers)
7 Contaminated Meals
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Evil MySpaces
3 Requests For Peter Gazer's Phone Number
2 Fuck Yourselves
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Ninth Day Of Christmas Mike Check he's going to give to you...
9 Bumper Stickers (from WSUX in Tuscaloosa, Alabama where he was Danny Dryson, and with Washington Jones did the Wash'N'Dry for the Tide)


RD: "I like it the song has come to a complete stop while he keeps talking."


8 Super Mario Games on the Nintendo
7 Sloppy Blow-Jobs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Failed Exorcisms
3 Periscopes
2 Assholes Shoved Up (Jim!)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas Midnight Rose gave to me...
10 Dead Cockroaches
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Amazon Chops
7 Premature Ejaculations
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessions Of Sunny
3 Dock Dinghies
2 Meat Beatings
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas B.M. Punk gave to me...


(RD interrupts before he can shoot his load, the Scrooge)


On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas R.D. Reynolds gave to me...
11 SPEAKING OFs...Verne Gagne masturbating
10 Copies of Maria's New Album
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Pro-Am On The Nintendo!
7 Bottles Of Wood Polish
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Bowls Of Pea Soup Vomit
3 Nights With Pluto
2 Feathered Boas
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Twelth Day Of Christmas Blade Braxton gave to me...
12 Cans Of Miller Lite (and maybe 10 JPEGs of Mickie James naked too)
11 SPEAKING OFs
10 Scars From Eating Some Holiday Pineapple All Night Long
9 Bumper Stickers


Blade: "You're making this song feel like The 500 Days Of Christmas, buddy."


8 Back Issues Of Nintendo Power Magazine
7 Oozing STDs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Linda Blair Nude Photos
3 Not Just Spinach that Gay Popeye likes in the can, Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Packs Of Beef Jerky from JR's Restaurant (and not from that cocksucker Hillbilly Jim)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

188 Buying Buttons: December 3, 2010

87 minutes

Blade being still as lazy (and drunk) as ever gives RD pause. He and Don went to a Misfits show and went to the dentist's (though not at the same time.) He attributes this to 'basic chemistry'.

Sad News: RD & Blade are currently at the bottom of the FF league...while I am second. Hmmm. Blade's brother-in-law had a fantasy team named the Manboobie Bombers. I'm surprised Blade didn't beat him to the punch to name his own team that.

:20 Mama keeps breaking plates. RD's latest Black Friday outing took him to three stores opening earlier than usual. At Target the woman in front of RD has troubles getting a discount with candy bars. At Meijer someone had a full cart of strawberries and one (1) cucumber. Popeye is interested. At Menards the Chick-Fil-A cow paid a visit providing free cocoa for all. A woman in line used a wheelchair for a cart. Perhaps she somehow gained temporary superhuman strength to get through the day's challenges? [Well Black Friday Woman would make a better superhero than Subtracting Man at least - Clarence]

:42 Blade & Corey & Don went to see the Misfits while in Kansas. (Blade is reminded of that time Don peed on a cripple.) Wearing his Rose mask he managed to get Jerry Only to go with a Celebrity TRIP with him, where we find that he loves the Peanut Butter Crunch and calls RD an elephant.

:52 'Satan' calls again. Marty Jannetty is now rapping on New Jack's FB page. His 'lyrics' are so bad that even RD has to censor him. That's unnecessary in my opinion; after all, only 12 people listen to this show and they're probably too socially insecure to contact their local representative to tell them their sensibilities are being offended. Bah!

:59 Was Mickie James exposed? She had some sort of nipple slip and her dress went flying away while performing. Blade is of course very amused.

:63 RD prefers Blade's Question to the one actually sent this week (by Shawn). A minute later John Kelly calls to discuss Jeff Hardy's strange looking belt. He's so bad that David Lee Roth soundboards in just to say "No." Is he the new Chief Jay Strongbow now? RD wastes time reading about a children's game on Wikipedia.

:73 Someone (Caitlyn) wins on a show (NXT) not even on TV any more. New world champion Miz went against Jerry Lawler for a bit. Blade discovers Hardy's belt has Don's mask on it. Looks like it's time for Jeff to bring out the corn oil! John "Yawn" Cena still shows up on TV despite being 'fired'. His Mexican cousin Juan Cena is now on the air with him.

Seventeen Holiday Syllables on him:
Mexican Cena.
What is his Spanish catchphrase?
"¿You can't si me?"

187 The Final Frontier...Of Crap!: November 24, 2010

80 minutes

RD gives a disclaimer: This was recorded on Monday night, around the same time that the Miz defeated CM Punk to become WWE Champion. Obviously BM is not happy.

Sad News: Jillian Hall has been released. Blade wants to ring a bell for her. Luke Gallows was also released, but since he was basically Blade's clone he doesn't really care. Also, Blade looked Husky Harris on the days that he didn't look like Brian Pillman.

With the previous episode being really good (in their opinion anyway), they thus have the fearful thought that today's would not be terrible in response...like Star Trek III. I don't know, it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, have they seen the recent J.J. Abrams movie?

Or the Voyager episode "Threshold" for that matter.

Old School RAW somehow brought back Lord Alfred through a terrible impersonation, so Blade counters with HIS terrible Lord Alfred impersonation. Needless to say it sounds too Oriental, like Christopher Lee when he played Fu Manchu. (Assuming anyone could see him anyway.) They thus wonder how Global Internet's Greg's voice impersonations would go. (Probably surprisingly well, in my opinion.) Blade gets strange dreams dozing off while listening to them discuss Craig DeGeorge on earlier episodes. Also for Thanksgiving, a special treat: All 6 WC DVDs can be yours for just $21! (Too bad I already have them all.) Be warned, their books now look different somehow.

:24 RD took another trip to Disneyland in the last few days. While waiting in line to Captain EO he saw someone shill for the TNA taping taking place nearby. Needless to say, few came. (Now why do I feel Clarence will write something about this this week?) Also for some reason some promotional advertising Shrek 4D seemed to involve SoCal Val. The two wonder on the mystery of her vanishing nose.

:39 A George Foreman biopic may have Ernest "The Kat" Miller in the title role. [No doubt this will have George calling someone's momma after he gets "Rope-a-Doped" - Clarence] On the other end of the movie making business Joanie Laurer attempts to squash rumors she is making another porn movie. SPEAKING OF the strange things people do,  Blade's ex-girlfriend got angry over yet another picture of a wrestling diva.

:51 The Devil makes another call in. He reveals his plan of taking over the world through social networking sites. This time Tammy Sytch is angry at WWE yet again for passing her by on their Legends show. Then Satan wishes the two a Happy Thanksgiving. He's nothing if not considerate, I'll give him that.

:56 Jim Ross calls in, angry as ever, especially considering he was recently at the Legends show. He's making his time losing money by selling turkeys from ice cream vans. Needless to say it did not go well. Now, if he had turkey flavored ice cream...

Meanwhile Mickey James is going to have Meet & Greet in Virginia. Of course Blade would probably miss his chance to go see her.

:66 John Kelly calls. There are rumors that Hogan's gotten married to someone who is looks like Brooke. His puns are all over the place in response, causing RD to finally admit he doesn't think of him as a good TNA correspondent any more. This means only one thing - he's going to have a 'tragic' death soon. I fully expect Jimmy Smits to replace him for the role.

:71 The latest DVD release of the Top 50 Superstars in WWE History did not go well with many people, due to the fact that Hogan is #23, ahead of Bruno Sammartino.

Seventeen (plus Five) Syllables of exception to it:
Top 50 Wrestlers.
What a total load of shit.
Where are Ax and Smash?/Where is Adonis?

RD "I don't think a lot of people will be thankful for this show."

185 Bloody Halloween: October 29, 2010

81 minutes

Blade is 'sober' again on this special Halloween, which once again involves Roddy Piper PSAs. Something involving the theme song to Over The Top.

:20 The Trip is going in circles/time loops. Quisp cereal. Swearing at restaurants. Arby's Chocolate Turnover is something BM Punk would like.

RD breaks the cycle and knocks on the door so Popeye can visit, playing his theme music on speakerphone. (:26) He brings his 'nephews' Huey, Dewie and Louie, Pimpeye, Peepeye and Poopeye who sound like Jake Lloyd Jr, for trick or treating. Blade doesn't give them anything as they didn't follow Roddy's rules. "If you're old enough to knock up a woman, you're too old to be knocking on doors on Halloween," says he. "And make sure whenever you knock up that woman, you say please and thank ya!" adds RD.

:32 RD wants you to Sit Down For WrestleCrap. The Great Khali is appearing in the Indian variant of Big Brother because 'his wife wanted him to'. The show is named Big Boss for some reason, but unfortunately I don't believe David Hayter would be involved in any capacity with it. Meanwhile the Boogeyman is now calling himself Slither. Blade yawns.

:38 For some reason Satan, i.e. the Devil, calls in, fully prepared with the theme to The Exorcist. Dirty Dutch Mantell is talking smack on his Facebook page. Wait, he has a Facebook page? This 'Devil' has more important things to do, like laugh evilly at his favorite team New Jersey for burning $100 million dollars on Ilya Kovulchuk, so he randomly says 'I'm leaving now' and uses the midi Star Trek TNG music to disappear. I wonder, could he be... RD once again calls the show incomprehensible.

Sad News to Blade: the original Centaur Jenna Van Oy has recently married. Our current Centaur looked great on TNA, according to Blade's nonsense rapping. She's also going to be 'auctioned' for charity like some kind of prop. For some reason Blade wants to win the auction with a roofie, if he doesn't pull a Don Mason and take it himself before hand of course.

:50 Jim Ross calls in. Angered by legends shows done by other wrestlers, and the failure of his lawn mowing BBQ business, he decides to make his own UWF Haunted House. Featuring Sting as the Invisible Man! Of course, he can only attract one customer with his $200 fee. (Was it Steve Williams?)

:60 Ultimate Kennedy (10) asks about the perfect employee smell. Blade says tuna.

SPEAKING OF employees John Kelly calls, on track to break the TNA Corresponding record. Of course there's a problem, as Blade's street has suddenly transformed into a stock car racetrack. After we learn that Katie Lee Burchill will appear on TNA as Winter, J.K. gives everyone a near scare when he gets hit by a Pontiac (driven by the Devil, one would wonder) [The Devil can't play a fiddle. What chance does he have to drive a stick shift? - Clarence]. Thankfully he manages to evade becoming his own crime scene by doing a Starsky and Hutch style dodge over the car roof.

:69 RD and Blade make fun of the foolish wrestling community for thinking that the Undertaker would brawl with Brock Lesnar while watching him at an MMA match. Huey has a laughing fit at this. Voters in Connecticut are (finally? I guess) allowed to wear WWE shirts while at the booths. I don't really get it either.

Laying down Seventeen Syllables to get us out of it:
Wrestling shirts at polls.
Why Vince sued Connecticut.
Linda still won't win.

144 Cursed!: May 8, 2009

71 minutes

Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows.

This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")

Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)

No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.

Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.

The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on wwe.com): "I'd make Mickie sticky".

RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.

No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)

Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.

Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.