Episode 120: Holy Skywriter!: December 11, 2023

The Great Train Robbery
February 8, 1968
"After his previous battle with the Terrific Trio, Shame now has Batgirl as a hostage. He agrees to a swap when he realizes that Batman and Robin also have Calamity Jan's mother, Frontier Fanny. Batgirl informs the Dynamic Duo of a plan for a "great train robbery" that she overheard as a hostage. The three work to figure out Shame's plan and race to stop him. But when they realize they are too late, Batman attempts to lure him out of hiding with an offer of man-to-man combat."
43 minutes

RD: READY TO DRY GULCH VARMINTS. He wishes there was more Shame and Egghead and King Tut and less Mr. Freeze on the show.

Narrator: "Gotham City Central Park, where the Dynamic Duo interrogate Frontier Fanny in Shame's  stable hideout."
We get a repeat of the last scene, to remind us of the situation facing the Dynamic Dingbats. Batman almost reaches for his gun.

The gang goes to Peter's Guns And Ammo with a sign ("Everything for the firearms enthusiast") written in a really goofy font, having left Batgirl in the truck of their vehicle. Peter, showing his experience in running a gun shop, leaves a pistol and ammo on the bare counter for Shame to immediately pick up and point at him. He tells his men to "hang him up" so they literally hang him on a mounted antler's head.

Jan: "Shame, honey, you seen my ma?"
Shame: "Yeah, I seen too much of her lately."
Jan: "I think we must've left her at the stable with the horses."
Shame: "Well, don't worry, nobody will notice."
Jan: "I know she's a battle-ax and an old owl, but she is my flesh and blood."
Shame: "Yeah, I was wondering about that heredity. What'd your father look like?"
Jan: "Oh, he was prettier than my ma."
Shame: "Nobody could be uglier."
Jan: "We could trade her for Batgirl, like a prisoner swap."
Shame: "No, that ain't no swap. If I swapped like that, I wouldn't have a pot to put my head in for a  haircut."
But ultimately he decides to listen to her. They kiss straight into the opening titles.

In Gordon's Office Batman worries of Batgirl's safety. "I think he has something else in mind, something infinitely more heinous."
Gordon worries of Barbara's safety. "While the welfare of Gotham City is important, worries of my  daughter's welfare keep invading my thoughts."
Then Chief Standing Pat just walks in with a "How" and a soft Native American theme instead of any police accompaniment. Not even a couple of officers chasing trying to apprehend him, and perhaps being stymied by all the cigar smoke. 

Batman: "Let's hear what he has to say."
Pat: "Man with blue-and-white face speak with straight tongue."
He offers the hostage trade.
O'Hara: "What's the catch? Shame usually has three or four aces and a derringer up his scheming sleeve."
Pat: "You no try catch us, we let Batgirl go with full scalp safe."
Gordon: "No deal."
Pat: "That's fine by me. Her scalp look good on my belt."

He goes to leave but Batman stops him by...putting his boot on his long buffalo robe. He agrees to the terms over Gordon's objections.
Pat: "Then you bring Fat Squaw to Central American pavilion at Gotham City World's Fair. It closed  now. No one bother us. We meet when little hand is on 11 and big hand is on 12. Chief Standing Pat has spoken."

Narrator: "Meanwhile, back at the ammunition store, Shame and his aides are celebrating their coup." (:15)
Pat informs the group of the deal, but also that Batman is no longer affected by the Fear Gas. Shame states he will "gonna dry-gulch them varmints", but not before he has to be told by Jan that the exchange will be at 11 o'clock. They all leave.
Fred: "Tallyho."
Shame: "Are you sure he's Mexican?"

Narrator: "But even as Batman and Robin race along the highway, Shame is arriving at the Central American pavilion with deadly punctuality."
The gang quickly get into a standoff with the Duo: "Get away from our Fanny!" Batman won't hide behind his Fanny, but he whispers to Robin directly over her that he has a Bat-chemical which can make metal 20 times heavier. Of course he has to throw it (after she shouts at Shane to watch out), which causes the now heavy guns to drop from their hands. RD wonders why they didn't consider using it before in the series. 

Shame: "Doggone it. Doggone it, Batman. You cheated. You know we ain't no good in a fair fight."

So there is another (unfair) fight, which is pretty good. Shame takes a flight through a table. Robin does some actual combat for once. Batgirl manages to free herself by using a sword in a manner that RD found rather sensual before she proceeds with her smiling kicks. Shame has to resort to shooting three pinatas down on the Trio so they can escape. RD thinks they contained not candy by metal toys, which were now heavier thanks to the Bat-chemical.
Batman: "Take heart, Batgirl. All is not lost. We'll catch Shame before this day is through."

Back at the Office Gordon is still panicking over Barbara's condition. Batgirl tries to reassure him, which helps his mood. Surprisingly he does not then start feeling around Batgirl, which makes RD think he only does that to Barbara, his own daughter.

Besides that they still have no idea on Shame's target.
O'Hara: "I think we all need some refreshment. What would you be saying to some soft drinks to cool  off your brows? On me, of course."
Batman: "Splendid idea, Chief O'Hara."
RD is reminded when Batman refused one for finding it "too relaxing"...earlier in the season. Vince thinks it's because O'Hara is paying, through a giant pile of cash that he has in his pocket.
This somehow is the breakthrough Batman needs: "Today's the day when the government ships all the old money out of town by train to be burned. Old money that's tattered and torn is collected by banks and turned over to the treasury for destruction. That must be what Shame's been after!"

Narrator: "But are you in time, Batman? Because, even now, evil events are being put into motion." (:26)
Cue stock footage of a train. The people inside boast of how the train can only be broken into with an acetylene torch and a 283-karat diamond drill, which just by coincidence the gang has. They enter with the Fear Gas.
Train Guard: "Please don't hurt us, mister. I'm a family man. I got a wife and kid."
Train Clerk: "I'm a bachelor, but...but...but I wanna live anyway!"

The Trio arrive too late, but Batman has some soup bravery tablets as an antidote. He also has his own solution: a skywriter drone which he will use to send a message to Shame requesting a showdown. 

Back at the ammo store, the gang decide what to do with their loot, amounting to $60 million.
Fred: "And how is this vast fortune to be allocated?"
Shame: "Yeah he's Mexican, all right. Look, Fred, I got no truck for a man that talks 8 pounds to the  word. Now, you talk English like us normal folks or don't talk, Fred. Get it?"
Fred: "Got it. How do you plan on divvying up the spoils?"
Shame: "That's better. You and the chief get 1 million each. That ought to keep you in tacos for a while."

Pat (staring out the window): "Look. Up in sky."
Fred: "It's a bird."
Jan: "It's a plane."
Shame: "No, it's a message for me."

Onscreen it is only one word: Shame. Offscreen he reads the script, as Batman demands the "lily-livered coward" meet him at high noon for a bare-handed duel. Knowing it's a trap from "that Caped Clown," he tells his gang to notify the police.   

At the location the hero contingent is somber for this duel for some reason.
Batman: "That's why I deliberately chose that urban renewal area, the one that's condemned, so that no  innocent bystanders would get shot up. This town's gotta be cleaned up so that little children are safe  and happy and healthy growing up."
He then dramatically says his goodbyes to each one. 

Of course Shame is not alone, and he tells his gang to shoot at 20 feet.
Jan: "Good luck, Shame, honey."
Shame: "Dumpling, I don't need luck as long as I've got you."
In the back Fred facepalms: "Couldn't you just get sick?"

Shame: "Hey, Batman, you fake. Don't you ever smile? You look grimmer than a losing football coach."
Batman: "Perhaps I should unbend a little. Thank you for the constructive criticism, Shame."
Shame: "Your mother wore Army shoes."
Batman: "Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable."
Shame: "I'm gonna keep on insulting you till you run out of cheeks to turn."
Batman: "If you need to be vitriolic, vituperative and vindictive, Shame, you go right ahead."

Meanwhile Robin and Batgirl see the gang laying in ambush and easily dispatch them all.

Batman: "What's wrong, Shame? Lost your nerve?"
Shame: "How far you figure we are apart?"
Batman: "Eighteen feet, six and a half inches."
Shame: "We're less than 20 feet apart. (Towards where his gang would be) You hear me? We're less than 20 feet apart! (To Batman) You big sissy, you couldn't drive nails in a snow bank."
Batman: "Why would I want to?"

In disgust Shame throws down his hat, revealing the revolver inside. 
Batman quickly disarms him, causing him to drop down and cower in fright.

Shame: "Oh, no! No, spare me, Batman. I ain't nearly, nearly as ornery as I ought to be."
Batman: "Stand up, Shame. You're not worthy of the name Shame. You're a sham, Shame. Don't ever  cry on my tights or pull my leg again."

So Shame gets up, leading to their fight. By which I mean, it's just he and Batman. By which I mean by which I mean, it's just Robertson and West. No stuntmen involved here. It's a very short fight anyway, of which the Dark Knight easily wins. 

Batman: "Shame, I look at you with a mixture of emotions: sympathy and disgust. You're heading for  the last roundup, Shame, because of your greed and your avarice. Otherwise, you might have realized  that good, even though it's sometimes sidetracked, (to the camera) always, repeat, always triumphs over evil."

Back at the Office, Gordon gushes to O'Hara about his one true love (besides Barbara). "It reminded me of that great old movie, Low Midnight or something." Shame is back in prison, and the women are too...as correction officers. Because of course Prosecutor Batman ordered it so.
O'Hara: "At last, maybe things will get back to normal around here."

Narrator: "Normal, Chief O'Hara? With that famed Yale professor of Egyptology back in his King Tut alter ego, escaping from a Gotham City Prison's psychiatrist's couch to begin another cunning caper calculated to confound our Terrific Trio? Watch the next episode to see just how normal things are not  going to be in Gotham City!"

This was obviously a very fun story, and could very well be the high point of the whole season. If only there was more like this instead of visiting Londinium Angeles.

Vince guesses Dina Merrill was 34, somewhat off from 42. He gives her 7 Batpoles, RD 6.5.  

While a well-known actress and model in her own right, Merrill, born Nedenia Marjorie Hutton, may be better known for her wealth and philanthropy. Her mother was Marjorie Merriweather Post, owner of General Foods/Post Cereals. Her father was EF Hutton of the stock brokerage (and Post's second husband; her first, Edward Close, was Glenn Close's grandfather). Merrill's first husband, Stanley Rumbough, was an heir to Colgate. Her third husband, Ted Hartley, was a fellow actor (when not also an investment broker), and they bought and managed RKO Pictures/Pavilion in 1989. Even six years after her death at 93 (in 2017) her net worth of at least $5 billion has made her the world's richest actress.

Vince still has to watch what RD is willing to suffer through for Christmas.

• Special Guest Villain: Shame [2] (Cliff Robertson) [2]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Calamity Jan (Dina Merrill)
  

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Gordon's Office, cheap candy
• RD Time Outs: 1 (Real Quick)
  

Episode 119: Holy Fondue!: December 4, 2023

The Great Escape
February 1, 1968
"Shame escapes from prison, and together with Calamity Jan, goes to work on his newest caper. He leaves a cryptic clue for Batman, Robin, and Batgirl describing the first part of his scheme - the robbery of two opera singers. The Terrific Trio decipher his riddle and attempt to stop him, but when Shame breaks out his "fear gas," the three are left quaking in their shoes."
47 minutes

RD WANTS TO DO SOME FUNNIN'. He wants Vince to join in.

This is the final two-parter in the show's original run. Vince has to explain to the Listeners who Shame was and why he shouldn't be confused with Shane.

Narrator: "Gotham State Prison, a grim and foreboding edifice. It, like politics, has been the last refuge of many a scoundrel. Including that criminal cowpoke Shame."

As mentioned the previous week, Shame is visited by his girl Calamity Jan and her mother Frontier Fanny. Of the two Jan gets villain crediting with him because she is played by Robertson's then wife Dina Merrill, and he would only appear if she also got a part. We will get into her own fascinating life at the next Batpole rating.

Anyway the two women are planning to get him out so he can join their posse gang and get to "funning again".
Shame: "Well, I appreciate it mighty much, Frontier Fanny and Calamity Jan. But I find this here hoosegow's tighter than a New England banker. I likewise opine it'd take more than a pack of wild horses to get me out of here."
Thankfully for him they already have 325 of them wild horses for it. Jan gives her man a kiss, "just a down payment on what you're due."
RD wonders if 'conjugal visits' are part of Warden Crichton's prison program. 

He waits for the escape by playing horseshoes with others in the auditorium.
Prisoner: "Nice timepiece you have there, Shame."
Shame: "Yeah, got it off a railroad man. They gave it to him for 50 years' dedicated service."
Prisoner: "What did you give him for it?"
Shame: "Three bullets. In the head."

Suddenly a gold red tank breaks through a wall, all 325 horsepower worth. The guards respond by shooting live bullets at it as Shame makes his getaway.
Shame: " I gotta hand it to you, Calamity. You're a woman and a half. (Looks at Fanny) If you could  just get rid of the other half."
The Bros wonder where the budget came for this and the last week.

Meanwhile Bruce and Gordon have having Barbara's fondue in her apartment. (:11) Vince has never had fondue, much to RD's sadness. He enjoys taking his wife to the nearest Melting Pot. He can even withstand Vince's voice in his head complaining about the sauces: "You know, bro, it's a lot of calories in that sauce."

Bruce: "Excellent fondue, Barbara. Not often a bachelor gets a good home-cooked meal."
Barbara: "Well, it isn't often a spinster gets to cook for a bachelor."
RD: "Alfred is always making him home-cooked meals!"
RD is a fan of her floral dress but not her giant earrings. 

Her phone rings, and of course it's for her father, as O'Hara informs him of Shame. Meanwhile Bruce has cuff-links that let him connect to the Emergency Bat-Communicator and direct a recording of his voice to "answer" the Batphone.
Bruce: "I think I should run along as well, Barbara. It wouldn't be proper for the two of us to be here  alone in your apartment without a chaperone."
Barbara (subtly): "But what about my fondue?"

After the titles, O'Hara wonders where the villains went...in a large tank that probably can't go as fast as a normal police car, assuming there were even any at the prison.  
Mayor Linseed calls to inform Gordon that they found the tank abandoned on the road.
Batman: "Is it still there?"
Gordon: "No, they towed it, the parking meter had run out."
Batman: "(Beat) I think Mayor Linseed should make some changes in his towing policy."
Bonnie then calls Gordon to tell him he has a horse in the lobby. 
Gordon: "Has the whole world gone batty?"
Cue Batman with a confused look. 

Actually it's a sawhorse with a message from Shame that he will steal "a rock and a roll" from the Gotham City Stage later that day. "I dares you to figure it out, Dynamic Dumb-Dumb."
Batman: "It's full of misspellings, and I'm full of misgivings."
Then Barbara walks in, this time in a light green dress, so she can be told what's going on.  The Duo leave to consult the Batcomputer. 

Narrator: "A short while later, under the cover of darkness, Shame and his cohorts are holed up in  Gotham City's Central Park Stables." (:22)
Shame meets his other goons. There is a typical vaquero in a Spirit Halloween cowboy outfit named Fernando Ricardo Enrique Dominguez, or Fred for short. Of course he speaks in a British accent. There is also a typical American Indian in the expected buffalo robe and war bonnet named Chief Jay Strongbow Standing Pat. Of course instead of speaking he takes a puff on his cigar.
Jan: "That means: "It's gonna be great working with you, and I hope to get to know you better real  soon.""
Shame: "You got all that from one puff?"
Jan: "He talks in shorthand."

First Shame wants to get rid of the Trio. Next he wants to commit "The Great Train Robbery", which Fred doesn't initially find original. He and Pat are to go and check the scene.
Fred: "I stand chastised. ... Your lucidity is surpassed only by your remarkable command and penchant  for gibberish."
Unfortunately Shame can't get to the next step of doing..."sparking" with Jan because of Fanny's cockblocking: "You can't get closer than two feet until a marriage is arranged." She's a bigger threat than any superhero.

Meanwhile in the Batcave, Batman figures Shame may be after a diamond rock and a bank roll when Barbara calls knowing what the Stage would be.
Batman (lustily): "We obviously need each other, Batgirl."
Cue Barbara gaining an immense blush as they arrange to meet. She puts the phone down as Gordon enters for yet more reaching around of his daugther. RD: ""Daddy may be having ribs tonight!""
Anyway he has two tickets to the Opera that she could share with Millionaire Bruce Wayne. "There's no time for cultural pursuits with Shame on the loose."
Barbara leaves to change into her costume just as Batman calls back, asking Gordon for Batgirl. Cue the two being befuddled. 
Robin: "I don't think we should even attempt to fathom it, Batman. She treasures her own anonymity every bit as much as we treasure ours." 

Narrator: "As Batman and Robin hurry to their appointment, Barbara Gordon transforms herself into  Batgirl, scourge of Gotham City's underworld and defender of truth and justice. But are their actions too late to stop Shame from robbing the Gotham City Stage of a rock and roll? The answer in one breathless minute."

This is of course the halfway mark of the day. (:30)

Narrator: "Gotham City Opera House, where a handful of unlikely visitors are already backstage."
The posse gang, already assembled, faces their greatest threat so far: a surprisingly young stage doorman named Pop. "Well, I'm 17, and it's a time-honored theatrical tradition that no matter how old  or young a stage doorman is, his name has to be "Pop."" Pat knocks him out.
Still it's a bit better than calling him Beaver, since this is in fact an uncredited cameo by Jerry Mathers.

Outside, a handful of likely visitors - the Trio - are assuming Shame will hit here due to the House's production of The Girl of the Golden West. The lead soprano wears a 283 karat diamond pendant, while the lead tenor carries $20,000 in his pocket for good luck.
Shame finds the two singers backstage, and as you'd expect they are arguing about their roles. The gang knocks them out to rob them of their valuables in time for the Trio to arrive for their very intense fight. The Bros consider it the best of the season by far, although Vince wonders why the gang doesn't just shoot them.

The Trio win because of this discrepancy, so the gang breaks out the FEAR GAS on them. This has the effect of making them overact more than usual as they beg for their lives. Batman even puts Batgirl in front of him, offering her to the gang as tribute. Vince admired how West enjoyed doing things as goofy as possible if he could get away with it.
Shame: "How do you like that, scaredy bats? (Laughs) Hey, Fred. Did you hear that? That's pretty good. "Scaredy bats.""
The gang leaves, leaving the Dynamic Duo behind still cowering in fear. 

Jump cut to the Batcave, where the Duo have managed to return to despite still being afflicted. (I'd like to think they ran down the streets whopping and hollering loudly in fear at everyone to drive them off.) Alfred tries to feed the two some antidote soup.
Batman: "What are you trying to do?"
Robin: "It's probably poison. He wants to see us dead. He's always hated us."
Batman: "Yes, he has. You're right, Robin. ... You're not to be trusted either, Boy Wonder."
Robin: "Well, neither are you."
Alfred manages to get them to eat just as the Batphone rings.
Batman: "What's that beeping?"
Alfred has to answer Gordon, who tells him that both Batgirl and Barbara are missing. He relays this to Batman who is quickly shaking the effect off. "But there seems to be a slight residue of fear left.  However, I must shunt this aside and press on."
He and Robin then dash off to the Stables lair which is just across the street from the opera house (perhaps once more running the streets whooping and hollering loudly in fear at everyone to drive them off).

This did answer RD's wonder on how the equally fear gas using but much more intimidating Scarecrow would have worked in a potential Season 4. Now he just wants a whole season of Scarecrow sharing the Trio shitless. 

Speaking of the lair, Shame argues with Fred on where to obtain an acetylene torch for their plan. "You sure he's Mexican?" he asks Jan. Meanwhile Fanny is arguing with Pat.
Jan: "You and Ma and me, living on our own spread west of Laramie, where the air is clear and smog- free, and the corn is as high as Chief Standing Pat's eye. Can't you just picture it?"
Shame: "I'm picturing about two-thirds of it."
As they still have Batgirl captured out back, Jan wants to shoot her and be done with it, but Shame prefers her alive. They move in to kiss - and Ma intervenes.
Shame: "Why couldn't you been born an orphan?"
As they turn and leave his wall-mounted lucky horseshoe falls off and hits Fanny on the head knocking her out. This is forceful enough to cause a commercial break. 

When we return the Duo find her and consider having her as their hostage.
Batman: "It hardly seems like a fair trade, does it, Robin?"
She pulls a gun on them, so Batman just immediately disarms her and holsters the gun in his utility belt. He asks about Shame.

Fanny: "Wouldn't you like to know."
Batman: "Yes, we would like to know."
Fanny: "Well, I'll tell you this, dynamic dummies. Do anything to me, and Batgirl's chances of living  through the night ain't worth a pitcher of warm tears."
Batman: "I never met a person I didn't like, Frontier Fanny. But in this case, I may have to make an  exception."

Narrator: "Have Batman and Robin been hornswoggled? Watch the next episode for the thrilling  conclusion!"

RD warns Vince not to watch the movie he's reviewing for Christmas. Vince ignores it.

 

• Special Guest Villain: Shame [2] (Cliff Robertson) [2]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Calamity Jan (Dina Merrill)
  

 

• Window Celebrity: 1. Jerry Mathers

Episode 64: Holy Matador!: October 30, 2022

It's How You Play the Game
December 1, 1966
"With his special truck finished, Shame goes to work on his final caper - the theft of four prize cattle worth over one million dollars. Batman and Robin deduce his plan, but realize they are too late to stop him and too slow to catch him. With little left to go on, the Dynamic Duo employ their "bat-logic" to try to figure out his next move."
69 minutes

Come Back RD. Come Back!

Vince finds consecutive recordings tough. RD managed to change his shirt. 

We are now halfway through the series' run. 

The Bros are still confused by why the Narrator is only taking 15 seconds at a time of late.

Somehow the rumble of the stampede's "zooms" has loosened Batman's restraints, allowing him to at least sit up. He then uses his cape like a matador to divert the stampede. "Toro! Toro!"
Robin: "Olé, Batman, olé! Bravo! Bravo! More! More!"
He then wonders how a non-red cape would work. Batman says bulls are actually color blind.
Robin: "Holy toreador!"
Batman: "The word is 'matador', Robin. 'Toreador' is a word of convenience used by Bizet in his classic opera 'Carmen'."
Robin: "Oh. Holy matador, then!"
Batman: "Very apt."

Andy then walks up thinking it was all just a game. Batman holds up one of the stakes: "It was a game...and the stakes were life and death!" He tells him to listen to his parents. Andy: "I'm seven years old!" He just wants his radio back. "Shame! Come Back Shame!"

Batman: "Let's go, Robin. We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow."

The Duo figure Shame is not actually going to enter the race, so they go to see DJ Hot Rod Harry again at KGC Radio, "the #1 radio station in the world!" (:13) He refers them to Laughing Leo, a used car salesman magnate. He sells a car only used "in months with an 'r' in them" to a stereotypical little old lady from Pasadena. He thinks the visiting Duo want to trade in their Batmobile, but feigns ignorance on "the conniving cowboy of crime" with a delightful heel laugh. 

Leo then visits the lair as the posse laugh over defeating the Duo. RD wonders on Shame's current ensemble. They discuss stealing four Angus steers worth over a million dollars from the Gotham City Rodeo. Shame says some more Western-speak confusing Vince. Leo then tells Shame the Duo is actually alive. Cue Shame breathing heavily. Annie: "He's angrier than a hyena with laryngitis!" Vince: "Interesting."

In the Batcave the Duo use the "Batroscope" as Alfred reports they found the stolen limo. "I hope you didn't mind my dismantling it for you." Batman: "You saved us at least 15 minutes." 

One of the parts is a giant steering wheel with a green speck and a red speck of food.
Robin: "Shame is a sloppy eater?"
Batman: "Partly!"
They know the Adobe Hacienda Motel and Eats serves such (delicious) fare.
Robin: "Holy guacamole!"
Vince wonders when avocados first entered the US. (1994, after NAFTA ended an 80 year ban over the southern border.) 

The motel is also Shame's other lair, but he's already gone when the Duo visit. They have to wait for his acting in the night, since he can't appear in the day due to being a vampire his ridiculous attire. They determine he's back at Westernland.
Robin: "He wouldn't do that because he would know that you know that this is a hideout of his."
Batman: "Knowing that, he'd think that we'd think he would not return there; therefore he did and so will we."
Robin: "Holy Batlogic!"
The posse are also there due to Shanelogic: "I knew he'd think I'd think he'd think I think he'd come back here."

Cue an immediate shootout.
Batman: "We've been bushwhacked!"
Robin is actually shot, forcing them to cover behind the Batmobile as the posse retreat. Batman has to cut out the bullet with a knife while Robin bits down on a cardboard shoehorn. Of course all this is done bloodlessly; it was the 60s after all.
Batman has to take his old chum back to the Batcave to give him ever handy drugs (of Batcillin), which is helpful enough for him to dance around the Batdiamond. He is sad they didn't catch the posse yet. Batman: "That's the crime business, Robin. It's all in the game."
Alfred reminds Batman that he is the Rodeo's Grand Marshall for some reason. They determine that Shane is going after the cattle there. Thus, the Duo will take Bruce's place...somehow.

The posse are already there as expected. (:34) The people throw their wallets at them but Shame does not want their "bacon drippings". RD wants to fry fish in bacon which does sound delicious. The Duo enter from the back (ahem) as the posse go to get the cattle which are on an upper floor for some reason. Any excuse for a wall climb.
Robin: "These short Bat-climbs are harder than the longer ones."
Batman: "It takes a while to unlimber your muscles, Robin. It's all good training."

This prompts a window cameo from...Hogan's Heroes' Colonel Klink. Yes, really. I suppose with all those folks trying to go back in time to kill Hitler, it's only fair that the Nazis send people forward in time to...I don't know, hunt down B.J. Blazkowicz or something?
Batman: "Colonel, what are you doing here in Gotham City?"
Klink: "I am looking for an underground agent."
Robin: "One of ours or one of yours?"
Batman: "And why at the Exposition Hall at the Coliseum?"
Klink: "Who knows? You never know where you might find one."
Batman: "Be careful not to get picked up. Chief O'Hara can be very tough with aliens incognito."
Klink: "Incognito? With my monocle?"
Robin: "Well, say hello to Col. Hogan for us."
Klink: "It's a wonder he hasn't tried to borrow your Batrope to pull another one of his escapes!"
He lets out an exasperated grunt which Batman ignores. Or perhaps he heard nothing.

RD wonders how the pitch meeting for Hogan's Heroes would have gone. Vince is reminded of the miniseries The Offer (about the making of The Godfather) where one of the showrunners talked about pitching it (Hogan's Heroes, not The Godfather).

Unfortunately the Duo are again too late in catching Shame, leaving behind a rather shocked guard in place of the cattle.
Batman: "They know where they're going. ... Steers have to be fed, right? And it's not easy to hide such enormous well-known animals, right? They must have gone back to the Gotham City Stockyards, right?"
Robin: "Wrong! ... If you wanted to hide a person would you hide him in a crowd? It's easy to spot a person in a crowd. It's not as easy to spot a person if you put him someplace where you wouldn't have looked. Ergo Shame has probably taken those cows back to the KO Corral."
So off they go after notifying Gordon.
Andy: "Come Back Shame!" 

The Narrator reminds us he's still there as the posse meets a holstered Leo. (:43) They barely have time to laugh as they are unable to recognize the Batmobile driving up to them. With Batman's theme also playing Vince wishes they would also mentioned the music. The Duo exit and walk down Main Street for a showdown at high noon.

Shame: "Don't make a move Batman, or I'll fill yer full of lead."
Batman: "You can't frighten us with a vague threat, Shame."
Shame: "Draw."
Batman: "You and every other criminal know that I don't carry firearms, Shame."
Shame: "Well, then reach for your utility belts, so as I can do you in."
Robin: "Even the rottenest cowboy wouldn't gun down two unarmed men. It's against the code of the old west!"
Shame: "Them rules don't count east of the Mississippi!"

Batman then throws a smoke bomb so he can 'concentrate' while the posse shoot blindly around them, and manage to deduce that they have run out of bullets. The smoke clears and they are correct, leading to the stunt doubles fighting. Even Leo has one! Robin does jump on a goon to ride them around like a steed for some reason. Batman then calls out Shame for not using a water pump properly.
Leo: "You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?"
Batman: "You're not wearing glasses. [Punches him in the face into a water trough.] Laugh that off, Leo!"
Shame saves the last bullet to knock O'Hara's hat off, showing the police's lone contribution to the whole affair.
Gordon: "Well, Batman, you've done it again. May I shake your glove?"

All of the posse is hogtied in Gordon's office before going to the "calaboose". Andy wants his radio from "this dirty old man" or his mother will punish him. "Give me back my radio, Shame, or you'll be in big trouble with my mother!" Shame gives it back and promises to buy batteries for it.
Batman: "Well, what are you going to do now, Andy? You're not really a lost little boy."
Andy: (Suddenly going run-on) "I was for a while Batman but you helped me find myself I'm going straight to the department store and trade in this Western outfit for a Batman costume I don't wanna be a cowboy anymore I wanna be a hero like you caped crime-fighter."
Batman: "Being a hero or a crime-fighter is not what counts the most, Andy. It's growing up to be a good citizen and if that's what you meant, it's the highest possible comment that you could pay me."
Shame: "Good grief."

Vince finds that Andy's actor, six year old Eric Shea, is the younger brother of Christopher Shea, who played Joey in the then running TV version of Shane. Vince wonders if he can get him on the show.

Cliff Robertson would of course also play Uncle Ben in the 2002 Spider-Man. 

RD gives Okie Annie 7.5 Batpoles just because. Vince thinks it generous and gives her a 6 due to her Shirley Jones/Mrs. Partridge vibe and she didn't have much chest wise. Joan Staley was active in the 50s and 60s before retiring to family life.

Personally this story was a lot of fun. I wish there were more of this not just in the series but in the Batman-verse as a whole.

Vince does not remember Rick Rude as the WCW Phantom.

Vince considers doing a non-wresting show with lists.

 

• Special Guest Villain: Shame (Cliff Robertson)

 

• Window Celebrity: 2. Jack Carter, Werner Klemperer
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Different costumes
• Entertain The People: 1
  

Episode 63: Holy Batfeller!: October 23, 2022

Come Back, Shame
November 30, 1966
"Shame is back, and is using stolen vehicle parts to assemble a truck so fast even the Batmobile won't be able to catch him. Bruce Wayne tricks him into stealing his limo, which he (as Batman) and Robin use to track down his hideout. But the villain gains the upper hand in the ensuing fight, and the Dynamic Duo find themselves staked to the ground in the path of a cattle stampede."
53 minutes

RD Won't Shop for Aunt Harriet. Not even for bras?

Vince doesn't think they could be able to remake Shane today. It's his father's favorite movie.

The Gotham City Speedway's 100 is half way done with "400,000 people" at a place that looks like the Indianapolis. The race leader has such a comfortable lead (six minutes!) that he can afford to get out of his car during a pit stop. He gets a gun pointed at him for his trouble by a cowboy in a very bright bandanna. "Make one false move, you got another mouth where your nose used to be!" he threatens and RD says in his Mike Check impression. He then takes the car out rather slowly while shooting a platinum bullet.

In his office Gordon determines that Shame has returned "to taunt us with his western wiliness" to steal a race car, a hot rod, and a go-kart. (:11) This needs the help "of one wiser than we." RD: "If someone stole a bicycle they wouldn't be able to handle it."

At Stately Wayne Manor Bruce and Dick are playing slot racers. "It's child's play once you get the hang of it!" says the one with the driver's license and a playboy's collection of actual fast cars. Alfred announces he has an appointment with "Mr. Red Amici from the phone company" so the Duo let Aunt Harriet try.

Vince's grandmother once worked at Aurora Plastics in New York. RD grew up in Aurora, Indiana.

Gordon: "There were three auto thefts in Gotham City today, Batman."
Bruce: "That should be simple enough for your fine force."
Gordon: "It would be, except that all clues point to the redoubtable road agent."
Bruce: "The bloodthirsty bushwacker?"
Gordon: "Shame himself."
Bruce: "We'll be right there."

At the office Batman compliments Shame's bravado. O'Hara randomly calls him a "caped crimebuster"; they also got the vehicles back but with parts missing. Batman asks to analyze one of his platinum bullets on the precious metals Batanalyzer. "Vamanos!" Robin: "Right amigo!" 

"Meanwhile, in Westernland" (as per the narrator), the lair is a deserted movie studio. Shame literally has an axe to grind as he threatens the Duo. His posse expresses their support. One of them takes a drink of "tonsil varnish." His girl, Okie Annie, pretends to play a player piano as fast as she can. Shame plans to make a super truck that can exceed 300 miles per hour and beat the Batmobile. 

Before he can kiss Annie the posse announces the arrival of a little kid. He calls himself Andy, "The Pecos Kid", and he pledges his six-shooter. Then Shame pops up his head to scare him. 

In the Batcave Batman chews on the platinum bullet to test its worth. (:24) It's just a regular bullet painted in platinum. They also determine that Shame is building a super truck to race with. 

Batman decides to ask "Dean" DJ Hot Rod Harry on his car knowledge. Harry, played by actual comedian Jack Carter, plays "a tune that was written this morning and it's already #3" on KGC before Bruce calls in. RD points out that east coast Gotham City should be WGC.

RD once wanted to be a disk jockey. Fascinating.

Andy still hasn't run away from Shame spinning his revolver, so Shame replies with a string of western related phrases. DJ Harry then states over Andy's radio that Bruce has a "super cam shaft and valve lifters" on his limo, which is what Shame needs. He and the posse leave with the radio. Andy: "Come back, Shame!"

The posse drive into town in a Cadillac with huge horns. Shame seeks the limo's "backwash".

Cut to Bruce and Dick shopping somewhere. Bruce: "Maybe we should have checked Aunt Harriet's shopping list a little more closely before we volunteered." Vince thinks they're buying her a girdle. RD decides to check with his wife if that could be considered lingerie. She says yes. 

Shame and Annie are observing subtly. Vince is more interested with another women she sees despite not having a face. He gives her 8.5 Batpoles anyway. RD gives her 8. (:37) 

Annie then approaches, asking for millionaire Bruce Wayne and a ride since her car has broken down. The drive is interrupted by a literal cow on the road, so Bruce has to get out and shoo it away. Dick: "What's a nice cow like you doing in a place like this?" 

Shame and posse then appear to steal the limo leaving the Duo and Alfred adrift. Thankfully Bruce has already programmed the Batcycle and Alfcycle to come to them from a mile away. They can also follow a trail from the limo in the Batmobile.

The Duo thus get to Westernland as the posse assemble their "hayburner".
Batman: "The best-laid plans of mice and men aft gang a-gley." (:41)
See, his memory that makes him forget he is married to Aunt Harriet last week also makes him forget that it's actually "The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft a-gley." If the Bookworm was here (and not just because he probably escaped prison already) he could have told him that. 
However the posse can't risk shooting their guns for fear of damaging their vehicle.
Shame: "Talkin' to you is like talkin' pig Latin to a donkey! We got 'em outnumbered! Three and a half to two!"
Annie only has a brief moment to be shocked that she is only considered half before a barroom brawl breaks out with the stunt doubles. "One Half" Annie subdues the Duo by shooting the chandelier down upon them. 

Andy then enters asking for his borrowed radio, and then notices the knocked out Duo. Shame's attempts at an excuse don't work and he walks off in...shame.

Shame decides to get rid of the Duo by tying them down in the potential path of a stampede. "Now those cows don't stop comin' for no one. Not even you Batfeller!"
Batman: "Shame on you, Shame."
Shame: "Watch your tongue."

Narrator: "Have Batman and Robin at last bitten the dust? Is this the Big Casino? Are the Dynamic Duo heading for the last roundup? If you have the intestinal fortitude to learn the answer to these questions, tune in tomorrow! Shame time! Shame channel!"

The Bros discuss Weird Al for a moment. 

 

• Special Guest Villain: Shame (Cliff Robertson)

 

• Entertain The People: 1
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Aurora, Disk Jockeys 
• Window Celebrity: 1. Jack Carter