169 MenstrualCrap Radio: March 12, 2010

75 minutes

As teased at the beginning of the year, a new Monday Night War has developed between RAW and Impact going head to head. But it can't do anything to cure Blade's menstrual fetish. He's also interested in the ages of wrestlers for some reason, like some pseudo Art Donovan. One of those wrestlers is Hungry Hungry Ken Patera.

RD's TRIP (:14) is sponsored by Popeye and Blade's bad jokes.

:20 Stacy Keibler was at Elton John's Post-Oscar party (sponsored by Popeye.) RD is mystified by those gatherings oddly enough. The Iron Sheik was arrested on a flight for being his usual drunk self. Blade wants to be Popeye for some reason.

WORLD CHAMPION IRON SHEIK. FUCK THE HULK HOGAN!!

Tylene Buck is currently doing some sort of webcam thing. Selling point: no pubic hair. The Co-Fs look around Maryse's website randomly and listen to random music on Leila Milani's site. But what about her pubes, are THEY shaved? [I like to think she's had them fashioned into a replica of the Wrestlicious logo - "Showstealer"] Blade makes his only actual joke of the episode when he wants to see Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Mare/Mane, complete with soundbite.

The HorseTrolla tells us Mickie James has been sidelined from wrestling due to a staph infection from some leg surgery, which is an excuse for Blade to indulge his foot fetish (shouldn't that be a hoof fetish in this case?) The BabyTrolla tells us that Stephanie McMahon is pregnant again.

Screamin' Cheech has one of the wittiest Questions I've heard recently about musical groups. (:51)

Speaking of the Monday Night War of earlier...well, WWE completely dominated TNA this week so Blade has to be that Ratings Reaper guy again. His TNA Peter Gazer guy is still a no show so RD has to do his Dixie Carter to kill time even MORE than they normally do.

:60 Jim Ross may return to WWE in time for Wrestlemania, so the Co-Fs call him up. Now he's angry about people constantly emailing about Joanie Laurer when they SHOULD be instead looking for the elusive Dark Journey.

Seventeen syllables about Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan on TNA:
New Monday Night War.
Same old Nature Boy Ric Flair.
Bloody Mount Rushmore.

138 Release The Boogeyman!...Again!: March 6, 2009

Goodbye Boogeyman...Again!

73 minutes

Sad News: Boogeyman fired. Again.

Speaking of deja vu Damien Demento is still continuing his heroic barrage on our Co-Hostess Fruitcakes. Blade aims to recruit Don...Don Mason and Peter Gazer to help him plan some sort of revenge. Oh good: Don could repel him with his mask while Pete will love him and/or make awful jokes to death. (:08) RD tries reading the Angry Marks ad copy as Chewbacca.

For no particular reason we talk with Stubby for a bit. (:15) As if the show didn't have much time to waste already... He reveals that he was revived with the magical powers of a beaver who liked his wood. That's it. That's the joke.

RD's TRIP to the Grocery (:20) had Blade rediscover the Star-O-Saurus. Vanilla milkshake pop-tarts are discussed (but not toasted).

Obscure Wrestling News: Mr.T refuses to be in the totally authentic WWE Hall of Fame, citing Pete Rose's presence in it. (:25) He should cut the jibberjabba and know that that thing is a work only for punks like Hulk Hogan, FOO! RD does an impression of him as Dr. D through Jeff Foxworthy. The Co-Fruitcakes go over other celebrities who should be inducted post-haste.

The Iron Sheik will have some iPhone apps. (:34) I know I'll buy a few if they include his insanity and great one-liners in full. He can make a tutorial program: "How to Camel Clutch and Humble B Brian Blair Old Country Way."

This week on WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre: (:37) Sir Alec Heineken narrates for us a heartwarming porn story with CM Punk & a dominatrix Michelle McCool to the sounds of Moonlight Sonata. I'm expecting Rolling Stone to give it 5 stars like they give just about everything else.

Report of the Week (:44) with our fellow Crapper Jason "Jared" Rodicker reporting on Todd Bridges' wrestling from last week. Needless to say Todd sucks, participating in a six man heel turn while people infringe on RD's wrestling gimmick.

Mike Check tunes in for our amusement. (:50) This week: remembering Paul Harvey, his time at KZZO "Kazoo 92" in Laredo Texas, The Great Kazoo, Don "Wild Wild" West and being Juan Sanchez on the Don Juan Siesta Drive (for two weeks only).

Jim Ross livens things up by calling in, angry at his representation on the site. (:62) He calls out RD for not being in the Hall of Fame or something. Any excuse to call in, I guess. Steve Austin shaved off his goatee. James Snuka is a walking corpse. The show is meandering harder than a river.

The Co-Fruitcakes sing in tribute to the Boogeyman.



[This week's WrestleCrap.com update caused the url VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com to be taken.]

131 No Improvement: January 9, 2009

Typical Rasslin' fan, Sugah!

75 minutes

Because of a friendly bet Farmer Iggy and I made over the Canadiens-Penguins match last month (of which my beloved Habitant won 3-2 thanks to a Andrei "The Giant" Kostitsyn hat-trick), he has to write a article of his own too, and a nice complimentary one at that. (That is the one right below this one.) Knowing our track records with this fine radio progrem and the quality of this week in particular...I pity him, I really do.

[Here's his piece if you're wondering. Again: poor guy.]

RD is busy, much to Blade's chagrin, with some 'recent' report on the wrestling industry headed by Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA: Descended from Canadians? His father was born in Montreal, speak of the non New Jersey Devil Canadiens). RD reads a portion of the testimony in a bad Dixie Carter impression. "Have you seen the 40 Year Old Virgin, Sugar?" (:03)

RD is refocusing himself now on the Radio Progrem, delegating Triple Kelly to take his place writing new inductions for the time being. While I support it dearly I fear that he may call on ME to take Blade's place for his own columns (should he actually update them), a position I fear I'll utterly fail at. (:11) There's also a new hosting site for the WCR episodes slowly being updated. RD does his 70's J. Jonah Jameson impression. He should do it like this man. Blade is sober this week for a change. (:16)

Speaking of Waxman and his Report, RD and Blade were called on for some sort of related hearing by a Quentin "Q-Tip" Arnold, of which RD secretly recorded some of it with a wire in the off-chance of using it (perhaps as blackmail material - against himself). Some time is wasted listening to the funky People's Court theme music which arouses RD. (:17) We learn the show's 12 Listeners are 7 Unibomber-style shack males, 3 shut-ins, 1 deceased and known to be sick, and Robecca DiPietro (who again favorite-d that Car Ad commercial - make up your mind buddy!).

Our show is "full of wrestling news" which we won't actually get to hear about. (:25) The 2009 Gooker voting has begun and the nominations gone over; Vince's Million Dollar Rickrolling Mania, a confusing TNA Love Triangle (including the mystery of So Cal Val's missing nose), Commentator Mike Adamle, "Obama" vs. "Clinton", Braden Walker (RD personally wants him to win so he could have him on the show; remember that they did shows together), The Divas Championship, Santino Mirella vs. Cousin Sal, and the TNA Fish Market Street Fight. Personally I am split between Adamle and the MDM. A search for Maryse's photos is made. RD thinks she is/looks greasy. She looks fine to me.

Obscure Sad News: Lord Littlebrook is ill. The good news is he's not suffering from pneumonia. (:36) Blade once took a leak next to his son at a strip club. Littlebrook's I mean, not his own. (As far as he knows.) Some smack talk of the Colts and Lions is made. (:41) The Iron Sheik is accepting bookings for public functions to humble you old country way while getting heavily drunk. RD thinks he has a curly penis.

More of the Q-Tip hearing. (:44) The crickets failed a drug test. RD killed five people last year.

Question of the Week (:53) once more from Ultimate Kennedy (7) (who also sent the two Christmas gifts, fine man) indirectly brings up the WrestleCrap Carnival. Unfortunately there is no mention of kicking Virgil in the balls.

The new TNA correspondent MegaTrolla marches in with bad sound effects (:59). He cuts to the chase in his first week on the job by not watching TNA at all as he was looking for the Allspark. Still, he's the best TNA correspondent by far. Of course, that's not really saying much.

Some more of the Q-Tip hearing. (:63) Questions of Robecca's fake breasts and phone number make RD suspicious of their questioner. "We cock blocked Mr. Tip!" he defiantly says as if expected to be quoted upon.

Current News consists solely of Vince returning to TV despite having his legs 'crushed' in that aforementioned Million Dollar Mess. (:68) RD wants Don Mason to pee on Vince and thus challenge him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vickie Guerrero nudes were posted and just recently removed on wwe.com.

Seventeen syllables...to put this episode of WrestleCrap Radio to bed:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.

105 Wii Fat: May 23, 2008

Stubby's Debut, Wii Fat
(81 minutes)

A Crapper asks the forums for help for a WCR-related tattoo. Blade suggests the Trolla logo. More of his singing.

RD's Trip to Wal-Mart: RD was first in line to get the Wii Fit, a game which provides motivational insults (:17). Blade saw an inflatable Titanic slide (:29).

Obscure Wrestling News: Rodney Mack's opponent Broadway Joe Namath has a 3-29 record. (:33) Kevin Nash is selling a play-date on eBay where you can smoke one cigar with him. (:36). [You can find an 'archived' listing of the auction here.] The Big Show is to be starring in a 'comedy'. The Iron Sheik was on a comedy tour. Blade believes he wrestled with an erection.

Question of the Week from Gavin (2): WrestleCrap's new TNA correspondent is Stubby the Hobo Dummy (:54). He's brought his own laugh track. RD supplies some fake laughter of his own.

Blade entertained some WrestleCrap fans who watched Raw this week (:65). RD takes a full minute to set up a Horsey Sauce pun (:70). At Raw, Blade saw Roddy Piper, Ron Simmons, and the other sign guy (:72).

Seventeen . . . Breakfast Cereal Syllables For Your Entertainment:
C Double-U Post
Further proof that Vince is one
of twelve listeners.

104 A Kick in the Taint: May 16, 2008

Karaoke, Cena + Mickie
(74 minutes)

Blade started a vanity project at the Karaoke myspace page. He's ranked high because nobody knows about the karaoke myspace page yet.

Former WWE writer Seth Mates will be on in a few weeks. Blade's first question to him will be: "Have you mounted a cripple?"

In a thousand years, this will NOT be worth something.

RD's Trip to the Grocery after an 11 week absence: Blade tastes a Snickers Adventure Bar which promotes the new Indiana Jones movie with the power of coconut. They certify it as an adventurous kick right in the taint. (:19 - :29).

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade sings Neil Diamond songs and Rodney Mack wants to be an MMA fighter (:34). His first opponent is named "Broadway Joe Namath". RD wants him to enter the ring with the Drinking music. The Iron Sheik will be roasted, so Blade wonders if he can audition for it with Stubby, his ventriloquist dummy (:39). Hulk Hogan got in trouble for not removing his bandanna in court. RD says he wore a do-rag for the first time (:41), which is surprising for a balding man.

MovieTrolla: Shelly Martinez stars in The Porn Shoot Massacre (:44). Horsetrolla: Mickie James claims she's an athlete just like the horse that was euthanized at this year's Kentucky Derby (:53).

Question of the Week from Ed Salo: Kitty Dukakis gets raped for the second week in a row (:58).

The Divas are getting repetitive. (:62) The Deever in particular derives her strength from her hair like Samson. Trevor Murdock got his singing comeuppance by getting punched in the face. (:64) RD guested on Figure Four Daily and was asked to sing Mondo from the Muscle Rock Madness VHS tape. (:66)

Seventeen Miserable, Sad Syllables to Discuss This Week's Raw:
Mickie and Cena--
John better keep his hands off
or die a slow death.

RD: Do me King Vitamin! Do me deep!

096 Home Cooking: March 7, 2008

Iron Sheik: Available For Parties...The Old Country Way!

"The roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows."
(64 minutes)

RD and Blade declare that Damien Demento got crapped. Youtube hosts their seven minute video, in which Lord Alfred Hayes "played the role of a balloon."

ED GE's current escort, Vickie Guerrero, apparently has a thing for men named Ed G. (:09)

Blade and RD begin to re-enact "Wrestletalk with Bill Apter and Ric Flair." (:11) The intent was for Blade Apter to ask a simple inane question, then RD Flair would discuss fashion for six minutes and then go down the roster and mock every other wrestler. RD requests that Blade impersonate Bill Apter and Jim Ross. Blade begins to do it. (:16)  Somehow that leads to RD praising last week's WWE 24/7 (Week 5) in which the British Bulldogs were featured. (:17) Blade likes "vintage Matilda action." RD plays dogs barking Jingle Bells.

RD points out that The Undertaker has been 15-0 at WrestleMania but many of the matches have been awful. These were his opponents: aging Jimmy Snuka, out-of-shape Jake the Snake, immobile Giant Gonzales, King Kong Bundy, Diesel, Sycho Sid, Kane, Boss Man, HHH, Flair, Big Show and Albert, Kane again, Orton, Mark Henry, and Batista.

The Faxtrolla spits out obscure wrestling news. (:21) The Iron Sheik is now available for parties. He'd be scarier than a clown. Jessica Hatch was in Maxim's Hometown Hottie contest. (:27) Does that mean she's only super hot when compared to other Houstonians? Blade and RD reminisce about the time they suggested that they should talk to her about maybe wanting to take a picture of their faces on each side of her ass. Heat celebrated 500 episodes, which is indeed obscure wrestling news. (:30) Talk about Shane McMahon leads to another instance of Don Mason using corn oil. Jeff Goldblum as the Fly.

RD says, "We would make the world a better place if we went around putting eggs on top of old ladies' heads."

The Question of the Week this week is a sad non-question letter. (:38) Brandon From Edmonton lost his job because he fell asleep at work while listening to RD and Blade discuss "a big-nippled vampire." I say if you can't sleep at work, then you don't want that job anyway. Blade responds by referencing Mickey James' Arby's roast beef. (:43)

Someone on the forums invites the Co-Hosts to his wedding. (:46)

Johnny 6 makes a cameo appearance. . . . (:48) RD says, "Never commit statutory rape...We used to be the Apple Dumpling Gang of internet radio shows. Now we're like the roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows." Johnny 6 insults Blade: "I. Did. Not. Know. Braxton. Wanted. To. Be. A. Wrestler."

WWE.com now has industry news. (:56) WrestleCrap's new goal is to be cited as a source on that web page, with Johnny 6 as a correspondent.

Blade Braxton's Seventeen Syllables on Money Mayweather:
Money Mayweather--
his boxing skills are cash, pro-
mo skills are welfare.

069 Hogan Knows Breast: July 13, 2007

Hogan Knows Breast
(77 minutes)

WWE has many red necks on its roster.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kaboom bowl blaster should do cross-promotions with Kaboom cereal and the video game Kaboom.

No Co-Host Contest (Week 16) because Blade was too hung-over to reply to the contestants. (:18) If that doesn't summarize the Contest...

Mail Bag: John Thomas has a Myspace page. Spiky900 thinks John and the Repo Man should tag team. (:23) A forum fundraiser for Blade to go out on a lunch date with Mimi has so far raised negative dollars. The Nitro girls have no talent and have some strange names. Neil Parthon listens every week (poor guy). (:32) There are actual Food Jobbers and Meat Jobbers. Someone wanted to sell Blade his old mobile food unit. Chris McGuiness has the show's only good joke today. (:38) Funk Sock. It's spelled FAXTrolla.

Clocktrolla: 10152 days. (:40)

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): RD wants to go all Iron Sheik on Blade and cut promos against him. Teddy Hart, Bret's cousin and formerly of WSX, is heading to WWE to flip all over the ring. (:49) RD and Blade want to go on a dinner date, so RD suggests they go to JR's BBQ restaurant in OK which is close by to former Lion Billy Sim's own one. (:53) WWE Magazine has new features that are similar to WrestleCrap columns. (:57) Shelton should go in search of his momma. The Undertaker has a new $2.7 million building, which is NOT the world's biggest stable. (:63)

Blade: "You know of I were to pass away and like, one of my family members came in there to open that box, can you imagine the sheer horror on their face?"

Blade has sources. (:69)

Seventeen Syllables on Brooke Hogan's Tucans:
Brookester's new boobies.
What, you ask, could be better?
Some bright orange nipples.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Festus to my Jesse, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap Book of Lists, Global Internet, Angry Marks, KaBoom Bowl Blaster
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 5. 5 star entertainment, things that suck, Grandmasters, things that are fantastic, someone bought this
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 8. Activision, Atari, KaBoom!, Kaboom Clown, The Fall Guy, Singer, Sears, Dick Clark
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade
  

• Krankor Laughs: 2
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
• Cricket Chirps: 3
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1

• Mailbag
• Spiky900: If John Thomas the infamous bill collector from Chase Meridian Mastercharge and the Repo Man formed a tag team and called themselves the Debtonators, what would their finisher be? I'm thinking they would win most of their matches with a Schoolgirl in Heat rollup. This guy answered his own question.
  
• Neil Parthon: I listen to Wrestlecrap Radio every week. However, on your show from June 6th you made an error. According to some California state statues a quote "food jobber" is indeed an establishment. I quote: "food establishment means any restaurant, vehicle, itinerant restaurant, mobile food preparation unit, vending machine, bakery, food processing establishment, delicatessen, grocery, confectionery, meat market or plant, meat jobber, food jobber, and any other establishment or place or portion thereof maintained, used, or operated for the sole purpose of commercially storing, packaging, displaying, making, cooking, baking, mixing, processing, bottling, canning, slaughtering, or other preparing or handling food or beverage." Who knew that there were not only food jobbers but also meat jobbers? Wrestlecrap Radio: raising the bar with not only obscure wrestling news and comedic jokes, but now you're raising the awareness and frontiers of our fellow crappers' linguistic capabilities and vocabulary prowess. No sold.
• Chris McGuiness: After all the discussion last week about the various Trollas at Wrestlecrap HQ it made me think. In fact I've been pondering this question for a long time since I was lucky enough to be a contestant during the second week of the co-host contest. If you received a gadget that gave you news only about Chris Jericho, would it be called the Ayatolla of Rock 'N' Rolla Trolla? He's good.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Brookester's new boobies.
  What, you ask, could be better?
  Some bright orange nipples.

 

067 No Old Country Way for Old Men: June 22, 2007

Don with Corn oil for the Iron Sheik
(94 minutes)

Brother Midnight wears no pants, making him Blade's long lost brother.

RD doesn't like Stephanie McMahon. He is completely incorrect regarding this issue.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Sad News: rumor has it that Kellogg's will purge its cartoon characters. (:17) Blade sings the Yummy Mummy jingle. Also he has some "Big Announcement": He wants to make a bet on when the Colts and Lions play on August 25th.

Co-Host Contest Week 14: (:23) RD is 'stunned' by a woman (Kelly) on the line. She will win this pointless, horrible charade. 12 of 22.

Mail Bag (:35): Seth Drakin (2) thinks the Burger King may be King Pedophile's long lost brother. The Burger King veggie burger sucks. Robert Conrad memories. RD goes into the WC Forum and brings back a question about Wendy Richter from WrestleMania I: Does the Iron Sheik have weird sex habits? (:42) Fabulous Moolah has a very scary action figure.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): There's a Tribute to RD Reynolds on Youtube. The Crickets have a Myspace page. Lord Alfred offers free balling. His daughter contacted Blade recently. Years ago, the Blue Meanie was involved with WrestleCrap.com. He is now selling Meanie sauce. (:55)

WSX has stripped its only champion of his belt despite not having made an episode for many months. (:58) The Zombie is back in the ring. (:62) TNA's complexity is killing itself. (:66) RD starts talking about Mark Twain for some reason.

WWE has ordered referees to not act like buffoons, which involves fining them. (:70) Candice Michelle has a small nose. ECW got the Boogeyman. (:76) Blade's friend Don (who likes beating off with corn oil) does not believe they kill off actual live worms. (:78) This is an excuse as any to remember American Starship Eagle and Coyote. Rumors abound that the Iron Sheik may be on TV, which is an excuse for RD to play sound clips. (:83) Interminable Raw.

Seventeen Big Syllables:
Big Steph's in the house.
Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
as big as a house.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Brother to my Midnight, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap DVD Rom, Meanie Sauce
• URLs not taken: 1. ChuckWooleryPullsAChain.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 14. Fascinating, beating off with corn oil, making a porno movie, proud sponsors of WrestleCrap Radio, madness from things you get at the grocery store, fellow crappers, folks, battery and like battery acid, things that won’t fly, reverse licenses to print money, the Rubix cube of wrestling, people obsessed with anuses, things that are no longer funny, evil witches
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 4. Kentucky Fried Movie, Chuck Woolerly, Love Connection, Robert Conrad
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• F-Bombs: 7. Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade

• Blade Burps: 1
• Krankor Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
  
• Zombie Growls: 2
  

 

• Shelly Martinez References: 3

 

• Mailbag
• Seth Drakin (2): I know you've talked about King Pedophile and the Crackhead Boo Berry. What are your thoughts on the King from Burger King? What would happen if he popped up out of the blue like a stalker and he gave you one of the Burger King's meals? Would you either a) take his gift and don't bother with him stalking you, b) call the police and have the guy arrested, or would you beat and maim the bastard till he goes away once and for all? Inquiring minds want to know! No sold.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Big Steph's in the house.
  Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
  as big as a house.
  

056 Robotic Robecca Released: March 23, 2007

Robotic Robecca Released
(79 minutes)

RD met his co-author of The Death of WCW, Bryan Alvarez, for the first time at an indy show. A man in a monkey suit was directing parking lot traffic. He later was involved in a match as The Super Amazing Monkey. Why that guy hasn't been signed to TNA yet I do not know.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:21): RD saw non-refrigerated organic milk in the cereal aisle, which got on his nerves. Reanimated via CGI Orville Redenbacher is creepy.

Co-Host Contest Week 6: Eric doesn't know. (:32) Soul thinks Haku figures are glorified bars of soap. (:38) Trash has written all their questions up till now. A likely story. 4 of 11.

Mail Bag (:47): Tony Christ wants the Mighty Seamen. RD flubs a laugh but doesn't edit it out. Jimmy K brings about RD's giving a physics lesson. (:49)

Obscure Wrestling News (:52): The Iron Sheik was robbed of his Wal-Mart earnings by a 'nephew' and a 'drug dealing driver'. Lita and her band are recording an album. (:57) New Godwins. Blade can't spell. (:62) Sad News: Robecca DiPietro was fired. (:63)

This Week's Top Wrestling News Story is that Bobby "Lindsay" Lashley broke the Masterlock. (:66) Kelly Kelly danced with the Deever and "Anonymous Brooke" to Pour Some Sugar on Me. (:69) WrestleMania: Kane vs Khali in a meathook match.

Seventeen Syllables Dedicated to the Battle of the Billionaires:
Billionaire Battle.
I'd pay one billion dollars
to make this shit stop.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The pissed to my off, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Fight Sports Midwest
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 14. Joy and happiness in my innards, your innards, things being awesome, sounds we like, things, things that are cold (5), violating in the corn hole (2), Verne Gagne masterbating, having your corn hole violated
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 2 
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2.5
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 4
• Cricket Chirps: 3
  

 

• Ashley Massaro References:  4
• Trish Stratus References:  1

 

• Mailbag
• Tony Christ: Do you think Ricky Steamboat, Tugboat, and Captain Mike Rotundo/Rotunda could have formed a stable called The Fighting Seamen? RJ Fletcher: Flubbed Yes.
  
• Jimmy K: Hi guys. I have two questions for you this week, one for RD and one for Blade. First off, and this question has been bugging me for years, RD, you know I was wondering. Like, if you were traveling through outer space and you're going real fast like the speed of light, and all of a sudden you start screaming, you think your brain would blow up? Of course my brain will not blow up. And secondly to Blade, I called a few colleges and business schools to see if they had any Ladder Falling 101 classes. None of them had any professors with degrees in that field so I'm wondering: how DO you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? I don't know.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Billionaire Battle.
  I'd pay one billion dollars
  to make this shit stop.
  

049 I have something to say...: January 19, 2007

I have something to say...
(97 minutes)

The Lions suck, so Blade must recite many listener-submitted insults. Blade fights back with an insult book printed in 1965.

[One particular limerick Blade had to say made me laugh the most (:24):
Hello, my name is Blade,
A really stupid wager I made.
Luckily I didn't ask
To caress the Deal's ass
'Cause God knows, I need to get laid.

-Future PB]

The manuscript of the WrestleCrap Book of Lists has been completed. Pick it up in the Fall.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): American Idol ice cream sucks. Birthday cake ice cream tastes like feces.

Obscure Wrestling News: The Warlord signed a Jakks deal. (:25) Ivan Koloff is now licensed to conduct wedding ceremonies but does not provide "cake location." (:34) The Iron Sheik got drunk again. Monte Brown will be called Marcus Cor Von in WWE. (:48)

Blade and RD go through the list of potential WWE Hall of Fame inductees for many, many minutes. (:58) At close to 40 minutes long this is by far the most they've ever spent [or ever will spend] talking about an actual wrestling subject.

Seventeen Syllables from Our Fellow Crappers:
Detroit Lions stink.
Demolition weren't that good.
I like to eat poop.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

Blade: "I think Erik Majorwitz, Erik Majorwitz should be the next co-host, but it probably would take me took long to get the money to call Germany."

 

• The big loser to my big winner, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Chic-fil-A, NyQuil
• URLs not taken: 1. PoonTangAPlenty.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 7. The Lions, fascinating, Jon Thomas, Mr. Fuji leading them in song, Verne Gagne, Sherri Martel
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 2. Buck Owens, Teddy Ruxpin
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  

 

• I have something to say: 25
  
• Krankor Laughs: 7
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
  

• Mickie James References: 3
• Ken Patera References: 2
  

 

• Mailbag: N/A

• Say a name, Hall of Fame?
• Both say yes: 18. Von Erichs, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Ultimate Warrior, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Honky Tonk Man, The Original Sheik, King Curtis Iaukea, Howard Finkel, “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, Mr. Fuji, Nick Bokwinkel, Mummgamad Ali, Mr. T, Dusty Rhodes, Bon Uecker, Rocky Johnson, Wild Samoans, Bob Backlund
• Both say no: 3. Dick Ebersol, The Bushwackers, Big Boss Man
• RD no, Blade yes: 4. Ric Flair (active wrestlers should be ineligible), Ken Patera, Rick Rude, Brooklyn Brawler
• Hogan picks: 9. Von Erichs, King Curtis Iaukea, Howard Finkel, Rick Rude, Wild Samoans, Big Boss Man, The Bushwackers, Dusty Rhodes, “Macho Man” Randy Savage

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Detroit Lions stink.
  Demolition weren't that good.
  I like to eat poop.
  

041 Release The Boogeyman!: September 22, 2006

Boogeyman Released
(54 minutes)

Sad News: Boogeyman fired.

Have your friends over for breakfast.

Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:09): Good Friends cereal sucks. Blade eats granola, flakes, and twigs in "fun dildo shapes the kids will enjoy."

Obscure Wrestling News (:17): RVD's comic book store closed. Kamala will sing at an event. WWE is suing rapper The Game for supposedly infringing on Sean Michael's name. Blade is reminded of porn star Sean Michaels, of Sean Bond fame. That is, if he can escape from his pit that is affecting his audio quality.
 
Mail Bag (:26): OT (2) questions technicalities. Aaron informs us that John Thomas and BM Punk now have Myspace pages too. (:30) "Maybe RD Reynolds wouldn't" let Iron Sheik humble him in the old country way. RD and Trash Losagain once met a drunk off his ass Sheik at WrestleMania VIII. Repo Man Barry Darsow was not the first wrestling repo man, according to Hobo Diablo. (:34)

WWE hired Brad Armstrong, among other old guys. (:36) Too Cold Scorpio has a big penis, "big and round as a dinner plate." (:39) WrestleCrap.com will not update in October so that Blade and RD can write more of the book. Blade hits the bottle out of happiness because Vince Russo is coming to TNA, which may be going head to head against Raw. (:47)

Seventeen Syllable Tribute to Our Good, Our Now Departed Friend, The Boogeyman.
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The ying to my yang and the Ko to my Tex, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Wizard of Oz Museum, Toto’s Tacos
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Riots, our good old friends on MySpace, Repo Man, transsexual dinosaurs
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. MySpace
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2

 

• Mailbag
• OT (2): On last week's radio show during the talk of Krypto, Blade went to call him a son of a bitch but he stopped himself to keep from swearing. However, he brings up a good point here. Since Krypto is a male dog, he would technically be a son of a bitch. So my question to you is would you allow Blade to refer to Krypto as a son of a bitch this week to make up for stopping himself last week? RJ Fletcher: Yes.
  
• Aaron: Dear RD and Mr. Brakestown, if the Iron Sheik offered to humble you in the old country way or any other way for free, wouldn't cost you a dime, would you let him? Trash Losagain might.
  
• Hobo Diablo: Dear radio hosts extraordinaire, this week I was evicted from my home. When the repo man came, he looked nothing like Barry Darsow, having neither the Lone Ranger mask or the rope. Was he an imposter and have I been duped? Was he instead Nasty Ned Brady?
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  He's the Boogeyman.
  And he's...coming to get his
  unemployment check.

 

031 Double Trouble: June 23, 2006

Say everything twice. Say everything twice.
(38 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery now has an intro. It's a sped-up intro to The Streak by Ray Stevens. (:06) RD discusses organic macaroni and cheese. Speaking of bizarre pastas...

Obscure Wrestling News: Volkoff's Maryland delegate election opponent is airing old wrestling footage on TV in his ads, so Volkoff responds by getting his own Myspace page and the Iron Sheik to help him. (:14) Lex Luger is a (drunken) idiot. (:18) Blade relates how he was in a strip club where Gorgeous George was a stripper. (:24) The new OVW booker is (Rambo) Greg Gagne. (:26)

So many people on Smackdown have gone. ECW's fortune teller actually tells the past, but is no good a replacement for the vanishing Zombie. WWE should've fired the midgets . . . out of a canon. DX are homoerotic.

Speaking of things that will make you poop with joy:
Too much bare male ass.
Was that Raw or the World
Wrestling Enema?

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Macho to my Libre, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 17. Horrible, bizarre pastas, outliving things, bad ideas , Randy Savage, Billy Jack Haynes, black hat with Oregon on it, Randy Savage 5 (6), generic Playboy skanks, being three inches from a hole, fired midgets, putting Max Mini in a cage, things that will make you poop
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Franco-American Raviolios, MySpace, Gallagher
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Iron Sheik
  

 

• F-Bombs: 2. Iron Sheik
  

 

• Zombie Growls:  2
• RD Time Outs:  1
  

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Too much bare male ass.
  Was that Raw or the World
  Wrestling Enema?

 

025 Komedy with a capital K: April 7, 2006

Komedy with a capital K
(47 minutes)

Blade's pants are a mystery.

RD says the old inductions mostly suck. Last week's callers were revealed. Heel RD needs to return. Blade and RD will meet for the first time soon.

RD's trip to the hillbilly Wal-Mart (:09): For Blade's arrival, RD has purchased Boo Berry. RD has lost 25 pounds since January 1. RD has been told that there will be an Easter Egg Hunt at a local funeral home, and it's the third annual. (:15) Jokes about hunting for hairy testicles are made.

Eyewitness testimony from Dr. Keith Lipinski that WrestleMania 21 sucked. (:18)

Obscure Wrestling News: Ricky Morton was in a car wreck. (:32) Nikolai Volkoff is attempting to get into politics, but he cannot escape his wrestling past. (:34) RD suggests he team up with the Iron Sheik and do things the old country way. Barry Darsow signed a Legends contract. Question of the Week from Shark Boy Fan: something about leprechauns and toadstools. These questions are really light in being actual 'questions'. (:39)

Not Indianapolis to be sure, but a remarkable simulation.

Blade Brakestown's Wrestling Haiku:
Forget old Conan.
Here's Triple-H as Gonad
the Barbarian.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Xena to my Hercules? Mr. Blade Brakes-town
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Harry Simon as Lee Marshall and John Thomas, Mrs. Deal as Peaches, D. Burgan as Scott Epstein, Dr. Keith Lipinski as Jack Arnold, Chris Thomas as Lang
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Porn that relates to shit-eating, last week's show, STDs, phlegm, Wrestlemania, Triple H looking like a Moe
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. He-Man, King Cobra, Colt 45, Billy D. Williams
  
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Dr. Keith Lipinski

 

• F-Bombs: 2. Dr. Keith Lipinski (2)

• Trish Stratus References:  2
• Mickie James References:  5
  

• Question of the Week from: Shark Boy Fan
• Hi guys. The other night I had a weird dream in which you and RD were living together. You had a big garden with a huge toadstool, and you ate whilst you were recording WrestleCrap Radio. So I was just wondering if you eat whilst recording your very entertaining radio program. P.S. you were wearing leprechaun outfits. No.
  

 

• Blade Brakestown’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Hunter and the MOTU!!!
  Forget old Conan.
  Here's Triple-H as Gonad
  the Barbarian.