Showing posts with label SummerSlamming and Cramming. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SummerSlamming and Cramming. Show all posts

250/40 Revival: August 20, 2015

I'ts Ba-ack! Yip-pay!
75 minutes

Having been podcasting for 10 years (and 250 episodes) now, RD & Blade decide to bring the old show back, and NOT because they only made 39 episodes of its 'successor' over 2 years. Cue the same old Old Yeller jokes. Although now I want to see a Zombie Old Yeller movie, so...thanks?

(Of course, most full term shows have 25/26 episode seasons on average too, so it does all balance out overall. Then again, most full term shows aren't badly made wrestling radio progrems either. Not unless the next season of Better Call Saul has an episode where John Thomas discusses credit card payments with Mr. "Johnny Mackerel/Sean Goodplan".)

Greg, formerly of globalinternet.net, may be getting back into the website hosting business. RD wonders what his new site URL would be. (:04)

So it comes to pass that this very site you're reading (if still up) is now an official sponsor of WWCR. Cue my non Jeff Foxworthy impression/silent movie voice in reading the ad copy in a single sentence. (:07)

Blade: "Oh, here's the thing, you know, we want to try and get a good schedule going where -"
RD: "Well now you just cursed us."
...
Blade: "Here's the thing real quick."

:11 Blade has Don standing around to taste test some food for him. Hopefully he's not wearing his mask or using corn oil as a condiment. The bag of Herr's chips he's testing is sadly not named or flavored sand or Barbecue Corn Nuts like he guesses, or RD's thinking that it has Elmer's glue in it for that extra kick. (It's actually Peppered Bacon.)

Blade ate an entire 'pack of bacon' the day before. Wouldn't you? (Don't answer that.)

Blade reads a blurb about the upcoming Black Bottle Brewery's Count Chocula Beer. If you want to try it out for yourself, try eating Count Chocula cereal in some beer instead of milk and see how it tastes. And it HAS to be in a cereal bowl or it doesn't count. (:20)

At least the Faxtrolla is still operational. (:22) Ted DiBiase and Jim Duggan met David Prowse at a UK wrestling convention. RD is reminded of when Mike Check went to a Star Wars convention and ran into Jake Lloyd Jr's foot, which is better than (his old man) "good old" Jake Lloyd Sr. being arrested after some real life podracing. Blade suggests watching Episode I in Spanish where (of all things) Anakin's "YIPPEE!!" was dubbed. Hmmm, I wonder how Latin Jar Jar would sound like now.

:28 The "TammyTrolla" has followed the Co-Fruitcakes to the original progrem, much to RD's dismay. She's trying to sell her sofa so she can buy a sectional. RD wonders if Debbie Reynolds is on social media. Her recent Skypeing for sexual/non-sexual related stuff suddenly summons the Sad News Music, but thankfully it's not for her. It IS for Yvonne Craig, the original Batgirl and Vince Russo's beloved, who is no longer with us after a long and fruitful life. (:34)

Blade can't wear his Bossk mask outside of Halloween for some reason, or so he says.

:37 The Question Of The Week is going to once again be award/prize winning because RD wants to clear out his house of unwanted stuff. At least for his American Listeners; seeing as it costs a bajillion to ship overseas, he'll instead pay the "lucky" winner $5 (American) for their submission. That converts to I believe £3, ¥600, $200 Canadian and 300 of whatever the Greek currency is now. 300 Spartans I think.

It also has a new email address: questions@wrestlecrap.com. That is the ONLY place for submissions now. No other ways will be accepted!...Almost no other ways, anyway.

In lieu of a question, what with the surprise recording and all, the two talk about their favorite progrem moments. Again. Thankfully their reminiscing is interrupted by a "Filson Wisk" looking for a "Mr. X". He sounds more like RD than Vincent D'Onofrio though. (Dincent V'Onofrio?) (:42)

The duo now need to look for a new TNA Correspondent. Oh joy. I guess the Honky Tonk Mailman was transferred to a different section in the USPS so he's unable to take them on his route in his pink Cadillac. (:45) They try calling David Lee Roth's Soundboard for help at first. He still won't report on TNA though. So they have to call JR instead. (:50) He's angry because he's not getting any money from his 'appearances', and is still so angry that he even censors himself. "Go fluff yourself!" he rambles.

Blade retrieves Stubby from his corner. He doesn't prove much help either. (:55)

Neither does Mike Check. (:58) His daughter is trying to find a job for him which is remarkable when you consider he's a prison escapee (EDIT: A prison escapee under house arrest who has his own website. --Raging_Demons). Did he ever tell you about the time when he was in Madison, Wisconsin (market) in WDEL "The Dell" (making bad Kennedy jokes) as Billy Limburger with Craig Atlas "Cutting The Cheese"? Also Taryn "Tiffany" Terrell brings his microphone up to attention to Carol Channing here on WWCR.

:69 Lesnar is to fight Undertaker as Frasier Crane at Summerslam. Iron Mark wonders how Cena's nose is holding up.

Seventeen Easily Digestible Cubic Syllables:
Taker Vs. Brock.
Summerslam's big main event.
Will Mark's Depends leak?




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Greg formerly of Global Internet, WrestleCrap.com
  • URLs not taken: 5. KrogerCellPhone.com, GloboGreg.com, TheBestDamnWebhostintheEntireUniverse.com, TrollaHosting.com, GoodOleJakeLoyd.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. The finest celebrities
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Premier Blah, Don Mason, Filson Wisk, David Lee Roth, Jim, Stubby, Mike Check, “Iron” Mark Tyson
 
  • RD Time Outs: 4 (1 Wait A Second)
  • Krankor Laughs:  1
  • The Price Is Woooo: 2
  • RD False Finishes:  1
  • Cricket Chirps:  1
 
  • Trolla Products Update: Faxtrolla (functioning)
 
  • Question of the Week from: RD & Blade
    • Favorite WCR moment? RD:  WCR outro. Blade:  Hanging with RD.
 
  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
    • Station/Market:  WDEL The Del (Madison, Wisconsin)
    • Radio Call Sign:  Billy Limburger
    • Partner: Craig Atlas
    • Show:  Cuttin’ the Cheese
    • Song:  “Hello Dolly” by Carol Channing
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: This feels awfully familiar:
    Taker Vs. Brock.
    Summerslam's big main event.
    Will Mark's Depends leak?
 

153 WrestleClip Radio: August 14, 2009

(144 minutes !!!)

Previously, on WrestleCrap Radio...


"We've covered dog semen and shitting in trashbags. That's a start, that's a start to a good day."

- Blade Braxton

Blade is to RD as the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson. The show has been running so long that Blade's 'students' from four years ago are now graduating high school, one of them doing a "Speaking Of" in his Valedictorian speech. Iggy and I are the 'finest of the youngest of the eggs' with Ultimate Kennedy. Thus to celebrate this 4th anniversary occasion (and them both being lazy after whatever they did) they decide to relax with a first for the show - a clip show. It worked for Star Trek after all (except when it didn't).

We must first mention our sponsor, globalinternet.net (:05) RD thinks Greg dresses as Gilbert Lowell from Revenge of the Nerds. Our second sponsor is angrymarks.com (:07) as RD does their ad copy in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. Blade reminds us of his wrestling appearance at August 15 in Granite, Illinois, close to St. Louis. Next stop, Smackdown!

As we take a TRIP to the Grocery (:12) RD remembers all his non-Grocery TRIPS, including...

(:13) Black Friday, where he met Calculator Man and Bedding Man (:15) Blade would come, but he is scared of Cornholes. SPEAKING OF Cornholes... (:21)

As we're still celebrating we play the MIDI Dr. Feelgood for RD to sing to. Here's some more 'great' singing...

(:24) RD and Blade sing off to each other on Halloween.
(:28) RD beats Triple Kelly at his game of singing Cher.
(:35) Blade sings a song about Ashley Massaro.

RD goes through all his sound clips: Krankor, RJ Fletcher, Al, Mama, Crickets, Huey. Blade has one clip to symbolize the show, his favorite in fact. the infamous Beating Meat clip. (:40) Some more favorites of the two:

(:49) Sir Alec's debut, with his first great debut story
(:53) RD loses it.
(:59) Frank from LA tries the Captain Crunch Milkshake
(:68) Alien Ham
(:72) Trashbagging
(:75) Blade meets Superstar Billy Graham and the Rods in his dream.
(:79) Gorgeous George stripping for Blade
(:81) Don...Don Mason finding a guy fucking a horse.

RD was scared that Blade would tell Vince Russo Don Mason stories. (:83) Thankfully he didn't and so we hear about Vince signing copies of the Death of WCW. We also hear how the dearly missed John Tenta first heard of WrestleCrap (:84) and of Lance Storm dancing. (:86)

Remember the Co-Host Contest? RD and Blade sure do, particularly the sound of one contestant farting. (:89)

If you think THAT'S rude, you don't want to hear Jim Ross' frequent calls on the show to rant for no reason. Including:
(:92) Jim Ross being angry on being featured on site inductions.
(:96) Jim Ross beating his meat with Dr. Death Steve Williams.
(:104) Jim Ross as a TNA Correspondent? No chance!

SPEAKING OF TNA Correspondents...
(:109) Johnny 6 likes skank hos.
(:113) Stubby is as lewd as ever.
(:118) David Lee Roth does not want to cover TNA news.
(:120) Mike Check makes himself at home on the Whacker, WWCR.
Blade's favorite TNA guy was Stubby, of course. RD could never see his lips move.

(:128) We hear the Coliseum Video music for Current Wrestling News, still as great to hear as ever. RD remembers Blade's quest to milk Linda Hogan. (:129)

With the appearance of the WrestleCrap Quartet (:132) we go back to the first great Haiku all those years before, which went something like this...

First Ever WrestleCrap Haiku:
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

(:138) RD and Blade sing to cover up the past four years. Sing along, won't you?

Didn't Know He Was Sick

12 Listeners, fine young egg, Glen "Campbell" Kane
Hit the bottle, BM Punk, Rebecca DiPietro
Mickie James: Centaurlicious, Brother Midnight: No-pants business
Tee Hee Tickle Party, The (Ashley)'s a ho

Nicole Bass, Hobo, "Rockin' Chair," Bistro
Tajiri's wife can't drive, Precious Paul's frozen eye
Lions-Colts, "You're hurtin' me, Randy," Crochet Queen
Prostitute roommate is lactating for money

Didn't know he was sick
Knotts is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

JT Titty, "Tarzan Boy," Mountain Dew Doritos
Johnny Six, Randy West, JR hates Gorbachev
Boo Berry, Good Friends, Ricky needs help again
"ZZTopwinsTerrisHouse, I bet that's not taken"

Ric Flair with a bear, Kelly Kelly somersaults
John Thomas selling Grit, Greg at Global Internet
Bill Cosby, Joyce DeWitt, bring back WSX
Blade as the Penguin, Demento is a douchebag

Didn't know he was sick
McMahon is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Loverboy, He-Man's log, Unibomber-style shack
Corn oil, Miller Lite, Big Nippled Vampire
Midnight Rose, Sir Alec, Ghetto Skeletor
Lift the tail, Triple Kell, watch out for the Clumsy Girl

Lord Littlebrook's legs don't work, Jack and the Curly Q's
Granny panties, Strongbow, Gorgeous George nude show
Gazer, Stubby, Chili Twistaroni
Bridget Midget, Scaleface, no sex on Mimi's first date

Didn't know he was sick
Cronkite is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

Lena Yoda, Gay Popeye, That Trolla Tattoo Guy
Betsy Russell, Nipsy Russell, Verne Gagne masturbating
Great Khali's giant tooth, Val Venis sold his pooch
Roddy Piper's neighborhood, Deever's curly hair is good

Vince has a turkey neck, who killed Mike Check
Jillian's mole, Michelle McCool likes to roll

Didn't know he was sick
Harvey is not alive
We killed another guy
Didn't know he was sick
No, we're not delighted
That he had to bite it

White Castle, Trash Losagain, Trish's meat curtain
Dunk tank, Virgil's cock, Dusty's book, funk sock
Candice glow stick, banging Katie Vick from behind
RD scrammed, Alien Ham, Mama - "Damn, damn, damn"

Star-O-Saurus made kids cry, Anonymous Brooke's backside
Jazz Blade, cheap headset, RD loves Kurt's moveset
Lita wants Blade's bone, met at a car show
"Please and thank ya," "Mrs.Deal, get Dave Meltzer on the phone"

Didn't know he was sick
Carson is not alive
We lost another guy
Didn't know he was sick
Johnny's gone and on and on and on...

151 Total Non-Stop Awfulness: July 24, 2009

82 minutes

Sad News - the passing of Walter Cronkite, killed by RD and Blade. RD still thinks he'll be met by Mike Check in heaven, if he is actually dead of course. (Again.)

Blade wants an archive of every person mentioned on the show, preferably by a cripple. (He does mention us though as non-cripples.) Like myself he's unable to sleep well, being at a Poison/Def Leppard concert the other night where he was fistbumping people in a "Fat Section". They talk a bit about the bands. They shouldn't talk too loudly, do they want to curse them too? Blade thinks Global Internet's Greg is randy for RD. (:10) RD wants to make amends with AngryMarks.com for forgetting them last week since they didn't call in. He reads their ad copy as Redd Foxx.

Blade had to find someone for the Celebrity TRIP (:14) but couldn't for this week. RD wants Missy Hyatt on to debate the earlier Zombie. So no Trip this week. The Midnight Rose is returning to WWE TV ... (:17) but sadly not to a grocery store.

RD is unsure about Sir Alec reading another story this week, particularly if it is about the Co-Fruitcakes again. (:18) Of course as Blade isn't feeling so good he can't 'attend'. His adoring audience still cheers for him regardless. RD thinks of him as the Pale Horse just staring in at the window. RD takes the opportunity to investigate Alec's involvement with Mike Check, as well as matters of continuity on the radio progrem. Perhaps his criminal past brings more to the eye of the 'Englishman'... Even worse, Blade still doesn't have his WWCR Bumper Sticker. Oh, the horror. RD got one though, confusing his mother. Blade thinks of her as an obscure He-Man villain.


RD feels the Faxtrolla needs maintenance. (:27) WWE is still attempting to get Bill Watts' Midsouth Library, owned by wife Ene "Ma" Watts, who will only provide it on condition that Eric Watts gets a job. The Co-Fruitcakes discuss all the stuff Vince does not currently own. RD wants him to purchase the promotion he worked for; PWI. It leads to a random song that Mike Check would play, and Don Mason's first experience with a blow-up doll. (:35) "Longest segue ever." Chief Jay Strongbow seals the deal (:39) "good for a five second nonsensical appearance."

In other equally exciting news the Deever had a tooth removed. (:40) The pain makes her spell badly on Twitter which confuses RD. He tries deciphering what she says. Porn person Trina Michaels is joining TNA. (:44) Blade wants Christie Canyon to come on the show and 'shop' with him. (Is that the euphemism in vogue these days?)

Today's Question (:47) is from Frank In New York (not LA), the former Circuit City Questioner. (2) He still wants to apply to be on the show. In response to that the two watch what may very well be the worst match in TNA history (which is definitely saying much, especially with it being IN A PPV NO LESS) between Sharmell and Jenna Morasca. (:52) Still, if trying to run ropes in drunken circles while slapping her opponent is too much for the former reality show 'contestant' she can always star in bad movies with Kurt Angle.

With Current Wrestling News at :62 RD and Blade discuss the terrible RAW show earlier. At least there's that famous Podium they seem to love. Maryse continues to grow on RD.

Ezekiel Jackson's new theme is the old Brawl For All one with lyrics (:68) so Blade sings a new theme for Randy Orton with the old Summerslam theme. "WAL-KING SLOW-LY! TO! THE! RING!" he tries. RD also plays the old Coliseum Video theme, which sounds like far better Current Wrestling News music than the one we have now.

The Co-Fruitcakes don't have much to say that's already been said on the terrible and actual love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle that's providing far more drama than anything that TNA is currently providing. (Kurt's probably out of the way trying to continue his 'acting' career.) (:71) So Stubby calls in. Not to be outdone Jim Ross calls in after. (:75) Karen Angle reminds him of Dark Journey, both prospect consumers that could try his various meats, like his signature smoked lamb.

Send this one home with Seventeen Syllables:
Jeff's banging Karen.
Why or why did she leave Kurt?
Must be Jeff's gold tooth.



002-BETA The Lost Episode (Mommy's Milk)

The Lost Episode
Al Capone's Second Vault
((( recorded in over-modulated fidelity ))) (42 minutes)

This is RD and Blade's first attempt to produce the second episode of WrestleCrap Radio. Blade says RD wanted a do-over because of sound quality, but the final version is just as bad.

RD prepares himself for the show by drinking out of his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. This does not help to improve the quality of the show though.

The Co-Hosts receive more love from Get In The Ring for their upcoming appearance.

RD talks about that week's Raw. Hey, I remember these attempts at jokes!

The listener can't help but appreciate the then-future strategy of refusing to talk about wrestling. Big Show vs the Heart Throbs has zero nostalgic value.

RD: "That's the thing I love about those James Bond movies, it's that they're so subtle. You know, we make fun of, like, WWF, WWE, and Beaver Cleavage, you know what I mean? But that is like so subtle compared to 'ummm, yes, what's your name?' 'My name is Pussy Galore.' 'I must be dreaming, nhmm hmm hmm hmm.'"

This year's Diva Search wasn't funny. RD brings up the hot dog eating contest which makes Blade mention what he saw One Night In China. The winner of the Search, one Ashley Massaro, looks like she has a mustache (Their words.). (:17) This is compared to another contestant who looks like an insect and another who looks like a 70's TV character.

RD admits that WrestleCrap Radio is a glorified phone call.

Nineteen minutes in, Tee Hee Tickle Party is in full effect.

SummerSlam will have at least some (Wrestle)Crap: the Eddie's kid on a pole match. Perhaps Hunter can adopt him. RD's PSA (:20): Don't solve parental disputes in the ring. RD also likes JBL's promos.

Blade suggests that Shawn Michaels give Hulk Hogan some of mommy's milk during their match. (I'm surprised he didn't do this during his face heyday in the 80s.) (:22) Blade then hits some 'haiku music'.

Seventeen Syllables of Slobber-Knocking: (:25)
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

RD laughs so hard he spills milk all over his keyboard.

Some things happen for the next fifteen minutes. In honor of Dusty Rhodes in talks with WWE RD is planning to give away his autobiography to anyone who submits a good Question of the Week. The first question, from Andrew is Good, asks about wrestlers RD has met in person. Blade once met Coach at a bar. RD doesn't believe him. Crazy Rose's question is read and promptly discarded.

While wondering about potential WCR guests, Dennis Stamp is explained. Tony Atlas wanted money to appear in the WrestleCrap book. RD doubts Vince would call him up to return to WWE (:37), and we all are glad RD was incorrect. A Tee Hee Tickle Party closes the show as it just falls apart.


To improve the quality of this recap, here is the intro to Heathcliff, as well as Gummi Bears. Listen to those vocals!

I want to hear Blade sing the chorus of St Elmo's Fire.

115 Purge Roulette: August 15, 2008

WWE Purge Roulette
(88 minutes)

Can you term calling into the show 'crashing'?
The bizarro Lost Episode has been posted in celebration of the third anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. Poor old Glen Jacobs is the subject of another induction, Fake Kane. This one puts him in the Five Timers Club with Hulk Hogan, Sting, Jake the Snake, and the Ultimate Warrior.

The show has a new sponsor, the HOTT line (:12).

Sad News: Nick Patrick was released (:18).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Blade got sick from blue milk (:24). RD implies he could replace Blade with knock knock jokes printed on Pop Tarts (:27).

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade wants bignippledvampire.com for Xmas. She'll be on this fall's America's Sex Symbol (:31). Trevor Murdoch changed his name to Trevor Murdock after being released by WWE (:36). Ashley Massaro will return to stripping. Blade asks, "What is that phrase where you know like you never stray too far from something?" (:39) I think it's "You can't go home again." [Wasn't it "how the mighty have fallen?" - PB] Blade forgot his Myspace log-in (:40). Matt Morgan will have his DNA sent into space (:44), presumably so that aliens can produce an army of stuttering clones to conquer Earth. RD and Blade will be in a comic book (:45).

Sad News: Nunzio was released (:48), and Braden Walker (:51), and Shannon Moore (:53). WWE should announce the next batch of releases during Raw like draft picks. Question of the Week from Terry Brass: Blade's beard makes noise (:55). TNA correspondent Peter Gazer exists (:60). Unfortunately, this dusty character stopped being edgy twenty years ago.

Sad News: Domino released (:71). RD YouTubes Tarzan boy (:73). Randy Orton estimates he bounced and rolled off his motorcycle for the length of a football field (:78). (Big Daddy) Viscera released and made to be a cannibal (:80).

SummerSlam is this Sunday and here's RD and Blade's entire discussion about it: (crickets).

Third Anniversary Haiku:
We've made it three years--
The age kids get potty trained.
We'll still piss our pants.

074 SummerSnore: August 31, 2007

RD's Hardcore Diet
Nyquil Crap Radio
(78 minutes)

The Colts mercilessly beat the Lions again. Blade: "They scored points!" RD wants to make another bet.

RD and Blade may meet Virgil at their indie show in Indiana (October 22nd) and ask him to participate in their carnival. (:08)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): RD needs to lose three pounds fast.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): Diva Search Woman and Anchorwoman Lauren Jones has some Surreal Faces. Blade responds with a Bill Cosby impersonation.

RD: "Here's the thing. Everybody does a Bill Cosby impersonation. Like, I am convinced every person on the planet does a Bill Cosby impersonation. I'm also convinced that every single one of them is absolutely terrible."

Buy pudding panties (among other random stuff) at WWE Shop Zone. (:26) One Night Stand should be renamed Going Steady. Pac Man Jones wanted Ron Killings to be at the good quality hotel with him, so TNA (AKA the Kurt Angle Variety Hour) took out the difference from Killings' paycheck. (:32) Clocktrolla: 10103 days. (:36) Poor Beth Phoenix is saddled with the ridiculous ring name of Glamazon. The Co-Hosts don't really want her around.

Question of the Week (:45): Blade has shout-outs: Random meanderings and acknowledgments to fellow Crappers. Cheebie Diablo has a question about UHF in regards to whether Vince has seen it yet. Blade verbally ejaculates.

Sad News: the Diva Search hopeful who called Batista "Bistro" has been cut. Sadder News: on her blog she thanked "Hulk Hojan." (:49) Missy Hyatt's book is full of penises. This week, on a special Facts of Life...RD actually warns people to record next week's ECW which they will talk about next time. (:55) Blade wants to run cliffhangers that have no chance in Hades of working. (:57)

SummerSlam was a forty-dollar sleep-aid. (:59) Blade recreated Hell in a Cell with a beer can. 'Hysterics' with Vince's prospective baby-mommas makes Blade think of papier-mache dildos. RD loves Balls. Speaking of men with tits...

Intergalactic Super Heroic Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Silver Surfer Rey.
Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
tic 40-inch waist.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The 10 to my 37, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. BladeLosesAgain.com, BoyTheLionsSuck.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 16. Things me and Trash talked about, things that are funny, getting chaffed, Greg Gagne masturbating, bitches you want to see get their ass kicked, good times, 16 bit, the forum, young Kelly, hoses, Bill Fralic, guests, boring and Hunter, people, men with tits (2)
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 10. Rainbow Brite, UHF, Crispin Glover (4), Urkel, Crispin Glover (3)
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 1
  • I have something to say: 2
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!: 1
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 3
  • Christy Hemme References: 1
  • Mickie James References: 2
  • Ashley Massaro References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Cheebie Diablo
    • Here with a humble question: having recently watched the Weird Al opus UHF at the recommendation of another Crapper, young Kelly (not Kelly Kelly), and knowing about Vince being behind the times, how long until we see a talk show segment called Eugene Podalski's Clubhouse? The problem though is I would hate to think about what hose people would be drinking from. Maybe a new club Vince invents. Dong. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Silver Surfer Rey.
    Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
    tic 40-inch waist. 

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

Crüe Ball
Crap In A Hat
(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy. Blade: "That sounds so exciting, I’m, I’m literally I’m I’m salivating at the mouth just thinking about it."

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Balls to my Mahoney, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. JackTunney.com, Furthermore.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Things you shouldn’t probably partake in, which, CM Punk and John Morrison
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Atari 2600, Wide World of Sports
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Kelly
 
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Ultimate Kennedy (4)
    • If a smark were to design a wrestling video game, do you think one of the statistics that they would work into characters would be a work rate listing? Wrestlers could have such things as speed, stamina and work rate. I think there would also be a moveset. I love the idea.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Return of the Game?
    I'd rather play Atari
    Twenty Six Hundred.
  • Kelly's Haiku:
    Vincent's bastard kid.
    A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
    Gooker ends in tie.

038 An Emancipation Procraplimation: August 25, 2006

An Emancipation Procraplimation
(63 minutes)

The third WrestleCrap book will be about Lists. Who doesn't enjoy reading lists?

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:05): RD can't stand grocery store workers looking at his precious groceries. (He prefers Blade doing it.)

The Faxtrolla isn't working efficiently for some reason. Nidia has been knocked up with an Italian or something. (:12) Sorry, I dozed off there, uh...Romeo of the Heartthrobs is branching out into entertaining. Blade does some entertaining of his own while RD looks up this news at bellaonline.com. The Rock has bought an apartment near a Dunkin' Donuts. The show has 20 listeners.

Mail Bag (:26): Some droning, nervous dork (Raving Wendall) sent an audiogram and wants to match last week's 'episode' with the actual Diva Search episode and post it online. Blade has a Plymouth Horizon for RD's Dodge Omni. Hulk Hogan 2 reminds us that the Marine sucks, even more so as it has 'sensuality' in it. Most likely it involves Cena telling his woman that she can't see his penis during sex. (:32) King Superspecial listened to last week's episode twice because he was too lazy to stop listening. He demands a refund. (:36)

Sad News (:38): Rumor has it that Francine will be fired soon because Vince thinks she is 'ugly'. I can almost hear the rest of this segment below the music.

SummerSlam happened. (:42) Blade didn't watch it so he tells us what happened from a third hand source. Grandpa Flair and Mick Foley had a hardcore match. Eddie Guerrero's widow is now a heel valet. The DX vs McMahons match made Blade hit the bottle. The reason why, I don't know because all I hear is mumbling beneath some music. (:48)

INVEST IN A RETIREMENT PLAN, KIDS!!
RD's favorite heel is Vince McMahon, maybe because he just got the McMahon DVD. RD thinks Linda McMahon is an android (oh no! run) and Stephanie is full of BS because she thinks her father "doesn't like yes men."

Haiku Shill:
Our new book's coming.
Hope you buy it. RD jun-
ior needs clean diapers.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The nom to my de plume, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Bryan Alvarez, Figure Four Weekly
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. The book, nonsense, sharp objects going into the back of your head, Vince McMahon
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Plymouth Horizon, Atari 2600, Dodge Omni
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Raving Randall
 
  • RD Time Outs:  4
  • Krankor Laughs: 4
  • Weird Al Laughs: 4
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  5
 
  • Ashley Massaro References:  1
  • Trish Stratus References:  2
 
  • Mailbag
    • Raving Wendall: Hey Blade and RD, this is Raving Wendall from the Wrestlecrap forums, AKA the only man stupid enough to run around with a Komodon avatar. What can I say, I saw him when he came out and did his little intro thing and just loved it. They got a good actor for that. Well I first wanted to congratulate you on the funniest radio shows that I've ever heard with commentary for the Diva contest. Yes, I am trying to download it now so I can put that with the commentary. And I have a strong feeling from what I heard from you guys that's probably the only way this thing will be bearable. Whether or not I'll get it up on Youtube depends on whether or not the person I'm downloading it from kept in the commercials. If they didn't, this is gonna be one heck of a mess. I did have a question for you guys. Did you - damnit, another question just went on in my head. Must have been a Wrestlecrap question anyway. Look forward to listening to listening to your next radio shows. Until then, from the den here, this is Raving Wendall signing out. There was a question?
    • Hulk Hogan 2: Hey RD and Blade, I don't really have a question. I guess I should come up with a question. The new John Cena movie The Marine was given a PG-13. It was given this rating for intense sequences of violent action (something new for John Cena), language, and here's the best one: scenes of sensuality. Is the Deal ready to hit the theaters on opening night to see some intense John Cena lovemaking? I'm almost afraid to know. I don't want to see John Cena doing it.
    • King Superspecial: Now that I've wasted two hours of my life listening to last week's WrestleCrap Radio (I listened to it twice, it was on repeat and I was too lazy to press stop), how are you gonna reimburse me for the time of my life I will never get back? Forget it pal.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: 
    Our new book's coming.
    Hope you buy it. RD jun-
    ior needs clean diapers.

002 Mommy's Milk: August 19, 2005

Mommy's Milk
((( recorded in high phone-buzzing fidelity ))) (27 minutes)

RD prepares himself for the show by drinking out of his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. This does not help to improve the quality of the show though.

The Co-Hosts receive more love from Get In The Ring for their upcoming appearance.

RD needs more people for the podcast, so to bribe them to come he's going to give away the Dusty Rhodes book to people who send in Questions of the Week to them. The first question, from Crazy Rose, is read and promptly disregarded.

While wondering about potential WCR guests, Dennis Stamp is explained. Tony Atlas wanted money to appear in the WrestleCrap book.


RD: "You know, you know, you know, the, you know, I make fun of WWF, WWE for some of their gimmicks, but when you talk about like, he came up with Beaver Cleavage, you know, he's really, and you say that's you know beatin' people over the head and that's not funny but you look at it and you have like James Bond and you got like Octopussy and and you know it's like 'wha-wha-what's your name?' 'My name's Pussy Galore.' It's like, 'Oh I must be dreaming, nhmm hmm hmm hmm.'"

This year's Diva Search wasn't funny. RD says, "We didn't have anybody this year saying my ass is hungry." RD brings up the hot dog eating contest which makes Blade mention what he saw One Night In China. The winner of the Search, one Ashley Massaro, looks like she has a mustache (Their words.). This is compared to another contestant who looks like an insect and another who looks like a 70's TV character.

[Fifteen minutes in, Tee Hee Tickle Party is in full effect.]

SummerSlam will have at least some (Wrestle)Crap: the Eddie's kid on a pole match. Perhaps Hunter can adopt him.

Blade suggests that Shawn Michaels give Hulk Hogan some of mommy's milk during their match. (I'm surprised he didn't do this during his face heyday in the 80s.)

Blade then hits some 'haiku music'. RD: "Is this Hulkster milking music? Dare I even ask why you're playing this queeny music?"

First Ever WrestleCrap Haiku:
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Arthur Fonzerelli of the Wrestling World
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. People who might not like the show
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 4. The Outer Limits, Bea Arthur, Maude, Land of the Lost
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.
 
  • Christy Hemme references:  1
  • Ashley Massaro references:  8
 
  • Debut: Question of the Week from: Crazy Rose 
    • How on God's green earth is Steve Austin pouring a beer on himself cooler than the Sandman pouring beer on women? No sold. 
 
  • Debut: Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
    SummerSlam's big main event.
    Will Hulk's Depends leak?