Showing posts with label Talking to the Listeners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talking to the Listeners. Show all posts

Episode 51: Talking with the Listerine: August 30, 2020

48 minutes

Blade hasn't talked to RD in 30 seconds. "That sounded bad." RD can't decide which recording is worse. 

Blade had tried enticing patrons with random sexual innuendo to (have RD) call, since they're supporting and all.

For real this time.

Shockingly the first person (Jason "Jared" Rodicker) has their phone ringing. (:04) He video chats with RD while babysitting his children on a swing. As expected the children are the only ones happy. As one of the Original 12, Jared witnessed Todd Bridges "wrestling". He still remembers being part of Mike Check's target demographic while on his Summer Sizzlin' Splashin' Spectacular. He also remembers Ghetto He-Man, "undead" Stubby, and Blade trashbagging. Jared once saw cardboard boxing. Sadly those two are less common now that porta-potties are mandated.

After him they attempt to call (Not-Diamond) Dan (AKA Danny Franchise) who is driving. (:14) So they call Taylor of British Colombia. (:16) He was drinking green Listerine; RD uses purple. Another Original 12 Listener since 14 years old, he thanks Blade for wasting his time yet also for being a gentleman. He remembers Bedding Man and their interviews, especially John Tenta. Blade was very hung over when they were with Lance Storm. RD remembers when he was on Get In The Ring Radio with Rambling Cowboy Bill Watts.

Dan is no longer (dangerous) driving due to his essential working. (:28) He considers listening to the radio progrem as a full time job (and perhaps also more dangerous). He also drinks green Listerine. He remembers when Blade remembered when Don and his grandpa stumbled upon a guy fucking a horse. Shockingly like Blade he's also single. He does enjoy king crabs like RD however. Long John Silvers is too 'pedestrian' for him, though he has yet to write that in a Yelp! review. Blade misremembers quotes about sand. He also remembers being in the Co-Hoss Contest, and losing since he wasn't a woman or could count properly. Blade: "You are also essential to us."

RD tries one more number while jinxing things by admitting it's been fun so far. (:37) Logan (AKA Not-Ultimate Kennedy13) is also an Original 12 Listener since 14 years old and drinks green Listerine. However he does use turn signals. He remembered when Blade went to a Raw and offended a 13 year old. Blade: "Fuck that kid." Logan agrees with him (for once). Blade remembers his wacky antics there forcing a camera change. Logan aims to send him a Mickie James GIF from that show afterwards. He also remembers that Halloween with Piper and RD singing about Candy. Then he goes back to making signs to offend more teens.

Also for once, RD wants to do another some time soon (within the next 15 years).

271 Marcho Madness: March 26, 2018

Uh Oh!

91 minutes

RD and Blade do not like basketball much. This definitely has nothing to do with their hometown teams sucking. (Or in RD's case following multiple bad teams at once.) Blade brought it up however as an excuse to portray "Marcho Madness" if he were an old western prospector (and possibly owning a mine called The Danger Zone. Motto: "Can you (be able to) dig it?"). RD remembers when Mark Jindrak was an evil basketball player in WCW, though he's missing recordings of it. At least they also have Shaq's surprise WrestleMania appearance, Dennis Rodman in the nWo, and Stan "Kronkie" pissing off old man Vince.

This month it's Patrick Stewart's turn to promotional considerate with the all new Pontiac Montana Del Fantasma with "all new air filters!" (:06)

RD's latest writing, this week of hat wearing ECW Champion Vince McMahon was an excuse for him to post an image of Kristal Marshall. (:10) Blade randomly remembered when she doused herself in blue paint during the Diva Search, then blames others for driving him to drink.

RD took a TRIP to Jungle Jim's (International Market), causing Blade to interrupt him with laughter. (:13) There he bought a (glass) bottle of root beer from Chowning's Tavern, which when taste tested is pungent and tastes like unwanted root beer bubblegum.

Sad News: One time while touring Blade found Bart's Root Beer with no caffeine in it. Sadder News: According to RD's investigative Googling he learns he actually took a sugar free (and caffeine free) one instead. (:20)

Obscure Nestlé News: RD found the connection between the corporation name and their nest logo. Wait till he finds out about Nescafé and Nespresso! (:23) Blade has some "serious business" to complete and wants to auction off some deep frozen Universal Studios crunch bars he found in his folks' fridge 20 years ago.

65 year old Ricky Steamboat whom Blade respected as a child defeated "The Duke" (:27) The two wonder which Duke it was. My money is on Edmund.

Aspiring necromancer Eric Sims wants to bring Doink back, initially confusing RD. Blade has to clarify, further confusing RD. (:31)

Tammy's back in the slammy again. (That sounded better in my head.) (:34) Things have gotten so bad the duo initially think she was jailed for an earlier offense.

Despite putting them in the itinerary and having their MIDI music played, Blade's friend Cory Udler is unable to make the time as Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley to report on TNA news, of which I can't blame him. (:38) Thus RD instead calls up a Patreon patron by the name of Sean Stein to do so instead. One of the rewards of being a $50 tier WC sponsor is "a one-time guest shot on WrestleCrap Radio", so he appears on what Blade randomly calls "The Stein Line" (Blade reveals he's still stuck on "TV Guide time" where each day starts at 5 am).

Sean tried watching TNA once and found himself stuck watching looping advertising promos for an older and no longer running show. No comment. He went to their YouTube page where a recent upload is for "Christian Cage Theme Song and Entrance Video (2006)". No comment. The trio wonder how similar it is to his old WWE theme, fitting in to TNA's music guy literally phoning it in by making more rip-off themes than Jimmy Hart.

RD: "Keep your Johnson where it is."

Sean is gracious as RD keeps his number in his little black book for future use.

Robert Sternburg asks about Gorilla Monsoon's toilet technique and the Co-Fruitcakes miss the obvious joke about him being in the Gorilla Position to do so in. (:54) Blade prefers his toilet paper to be sturdy. "I don't want to be the Jim Morrison of wiping, right?" he reasons.

Blade wants to hire out (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera to swing children around in full nelsons. (:57) RD thinks that should be part of the auction. Blade remembers a magazine wondering if Patera would wrestle Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania IV. Also he recently hung out with Frank From LA.

Goldberg will NOT be inducted into the marketing gimmick Hall Of Fame by Braun the Leprechaun or by my guess of Eric Bischoff, but by Paul Heyman. But of course. (:66) Blade is angered into confusion by this. RD remembers when Bobby Heenan was inducted by Blackjack John Lanza and he absolutely hated it.

RD: "Like we know what we are talking about."

The two wonder who should be celebrity inducted into the Hall Of Fame instead. This is not a repeat from last month when they also did this. (:71)

Blade: "I like to come behind you."

RD wants Burt Reynolds with himself inducting him of course, with his actual Smokey and the Bandit theme (confusing Blade again as it is not Jerry Reed's Eastbound and Down); Herb by Clara Peller or the currently reigning Burger King; and Elvira by Jesse Ventura.

Blade wants Bill Fralic by Stone Cold Austin; Cyndi Lauper by Dave Wolff (since Roddy Piper is no longer with us); and Susan St. James by Mike Adamle. The two wonder how little St. James has been on the radio progrem, as well as Lauper playing nearby Blade opening for Rod Stewart, RD going to see Weird Al perform soon, and Blade having gone to around 20 Misfits concerts. All very...fascinating stuff, no?

Seventeen More Syllables (RD: "Mike Check would be proud"):
Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
Bob with the bob the bang to
Bang shitty (shitty).



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right


...Uh Oh! 
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, eBay, Dinosaur Dracula, Day of the Dead
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. Overstaying the welcome, obscure Nestle news, obscure wrestling news, trouble, concerts
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Stewart Patrick, Sean Stein

  • Blade Time Outs:  5
  • RD Time Outs:  1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Krankor Laughs: 
  • Weird Al Laughs:  1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  • Cricket Chirps:  3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  • RD False Finishes:  1
  • Susan St. James Uh Ohs:  4
  • George!:  4
 
  • Question of the Week from: Robert Sternburg
    • Do you think Gorilla Monsoon used the bunch method or the folding method when wiping?  I’m a big bunch method guy because I’m scared my fingers will break through the toilet tissue.  Thoughts? Blade: Quad ply or bust for me.
 
  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  :  3 celebrities you’d like to see in the WWE Hall of Fame.
    • RD:  Burt Reynolds, Herb From Burger King, Elvira.
    • Blade:  Susan St. James, Cyndi Lauper, Bill Fralic.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Apparently, Kid Rock isn’t worthy of induction:
    Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
    Bob with the bob the bang to
    Bang shitty (shitty).

266 WeaselCrap Radio: October 21, 2017

12 years later, hopefully the "Hydraulic Lift" & the "wheel chair roll"
won't be part of Kurt Angle's "moveset" after TLC?
AKA Kurt Angle's Re-Moveset

120 minutes

RD managed to find the censor button on his recording machine. This does not stop today's radio progrem from being two fucking hours long.

Kurt Angle is due to wrestle a match. This is a not a repeat from TNA. RD proudly proclaims they have more scoops than anyone in town, including a now rolling in his grave Al Isaacs. Blade thinks the show is viral meningitis. I would say that term is redundant, if it were not true.

It's been seven months since the last recording, enough time for someone to have a premature child according to RD's calculations [Actually, it's been 6 months and 21 days, but I think the Clocktrolla broke down long before we could get an accurate reading? -R.V.M Kai]. This is even longer than the 4 1/2 months taken between the first ending of WWCR to do their TURDBUS show [And to think, in 2011, the period between episodes #199 and #200 seemed so long at the time...but were only 77 days apart? -R.V.M Kai].

Blade makes RD have PTSD flashbacks to the time Mike Check did the Star Wars convention market. (:06)

During their absence Blade went traveling around and lost 50 pounds, getting below 200, while RD has continued to write for the site and helped to open and run an arcade. He gives his Co-Hosss a round of laughter applause.

RD needs sponsors again, not just for the progrem but also for the site. (:13) He's aiming to go on Patreon like many other folks have before him (such as this awesome fellow who I've been happily supporting for quite a long while) to keep WC running. Blade is so low maintenance he only needs $1000 a month to get by. Canadian I'm sure.

:16 RD was once again in the Netherlands for his other work, as well as bringing more food to try. He suggests to always make some space in your luggage for this purpose. Blade has to drink Jack Daniels because soup is too expensive where he is at.

RD: "Kids, do you want Blade Braxton to be in the soup line?"

This time he brought "Deep Ridged Lay's in Sweet Chilli flavor" "spelled with two l's for some reason"...which it should normally be. I think RD can't spell like Blade can't count. The chips are yellow instead of orange on the packaging. He chews loudly and notes they seem "burned" for some reason.

While Blade was in Cannes with the Troma folk (:24) he had roasted chicken chips which taste just like mom used to make. He will order some in time for the next episode in five years' time.

Speaking of food the Faxtrolla announces the arrival of some Obscure Wrestling Food. (:26) Some pizza place in Ottawa, home of Anthem Entertainment, is going to have some sort of "Impact Food" for a couple of days with some funny sounding names. Blade and the Honky Tonk Mailman once found a Sbarro's serving breakfast. He also tried pulled pork tacos for the first time while in Texas. He still prefers chicken while RD prefers beef.

Sheamus is to have a "Celtic Warrior Program" for exercise, sadly not featuring Larry Bird. (:34)

Blade managed to find some bad MIDI version of The Way We Were. He uses it to bring up memories, seeing as he asked people for their favorite obscure progrem memories. This is not a repeat from the last 15 years this has been done before. (:35) RD can't even remember what he had for breakfast this morning.

RD remembers killing Get In The Ring Radio, and interviewing Bill Watts with them before doing so. Blade remembered hearing Chavo Guerrero Classic taking a leak while interviewing with them. He once again teases a Big Announcement. (:44)

[I'd find the links for those if I was more inclined to do so, so I delegate that to my colleagues, assuming they're still around and haven't fled yet. [No, I'm still trapped here...Help! -R.V.M Kai]]

RD wants people to send in both real AND fake memories so that they can test their memories and make a memory game of it it and their "Game Show Trolla" (A GST if you will.)

The HorseTrolla neighs about "Old" Mickie James fighting Alexa Bliss. (:55)

:57 For a change RD plays Tammy's music himself of his own volition. The two texted to each other a lot during their hiatus like competing lovers. Blade: "I've been drinking." Apparently she's come closer to home - WC home, not the Big House home, by randomly posting on the old WC forums, now renamed FAN (Freakin' Awesome Network). She liked the "big giant flying turtle" in the Godzilla franchise...which is Gamera, and a different franchise (one which is really neat and is filled with turtle meat). What, Tammy wrong again? You don't say! Blade had broken Godzilla toys back in his day.

Also she went to an arcade and didn't like it. She definitely didn't go to Rupert's Kids Arcade, which would delight just about anyone attending, I guarantee it!

RD finally knows how to mute himself. (:63)

Instead of answering Questions RD attempts to call a Miss Cyndi for her favorite WWCR moment (the one where RD left early due to Blade having fun with the Katie Vick outfit), only to hit her answering machine. That's pretty much symbolic of the show as a whole. (:67) So they call Zane U Paisley instead. Fortunately after hitting HIS answering machine he manages to call back, although somewhat stymied that they called him at 11 pm while he was in bed. He coaches U12 soccer on weekends you see, so RD goes on about AJ Styles' high kicks. Also he was to be their Co-Hosss Coach back when Blade was still remembering to look for one on the last show. His favorite memory was when he was their Roast drinking beer while the Ratings Reaper was getting creampied. (Ahem.) RD is angry his favorite moment is about himself (well, yes?), so he sends Zane away.

Blade does not have an itinerary because he doesn't have a paper plate on hand for it.

:77 Like many, RD was deeply saddened and heartbroken by the passing of Bobby Heenan, remembering him and the many times he got him through some hard times, of which he pays forward with his own work. They call up a gentleman named Dan who had re-found some portions of his recorded interview made many years back with The Brain hidden away in the Archives, and is rewarded with Blade doing his (non-Rambo) Greg Gagne impression. Dan remembers Blade and his audible beard in the times when he was listening to the show with a bad connection. This causes Blade to break down again. RD: "We don't make great memories any more, no."

RD plays some portions of his recorded interview which was made on actual audio tape. Needless to say, it is recorded in Watergate quality fidelity. (:92 - :101)

Blade remembers when Adrian Adonis joined Heenan's Family in the 80s for some strange reason. RD remembers when he and Monsoon visited Busch Gardens and his actual daughter kicked him in the shins. Blade then remembers the duo messing around at some boxing training camp. RD follows up by remembering them during the time No Holds Barred was sprung on an unsuspecting audience and Monsoon was petitioning the Academy for an Oscar for the Hulkster. Perhaps WWF would have named Ed Leslie as Oscar if they could have.

Back to Kurt Angle once again wrestling in WWE for the first time in over 10 years, RD is forced to remember when he gushed all over his moveset. (:109) The two listen to it again. RD can barely last a minute before (rarely!) self apologizing for audibly boring Blade.

RD maintains that the Haiku is one of Blade's greatest things.

Seventeen easily digestible syllables:
Kurt Angle's moveset.
Twelve very long years later
RD feels randy.

$1.50 : $30.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • 12th Anniversary
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 9. Diamond Dan’s Hotline, WrestleCrap.com, Rupert’s Kids Arcade & Party Room, Patreon, Crust and Crate, West-ridge Mall , Purple Stuff Podcast, DinosaurDracula.com, Angry MarksWrestleCrap.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Perfect timing.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Coach Zane, Dan, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
 
  • F-Bombs: 5. Blade Braxton (3), Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (2)
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 6 (3 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs: 3 (Wait a minute, 2 Real Quick)
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Weird Al Laughs:  2
  • Krankor Laughs:  1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  • Cricket Chirps:  2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

  • Question of the Week from: Two words: Train Wreck.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: 12 year pay off on Kurt Angle:
    Kurt Angle's moveset.
    Twelve very long years later
    RD feels randy. 

190 Resolution: January 14, 2011


- Hunt down Johnny Ace
It's nice to see Blade try (and fail) to be more clean. To use a Blade-style analogy, it's like watching a cripple try and climb a flight of stairs unaided. RD thinks of using a Swear Jar for that task.

Both Co-Fruitcakes had a boring New Year's Eve. Blade was injured while RD fell asleep before midnight. RD is selling old movies on eBay if you're also interested in getting equally bored for the NEXT New Year's. Blade models his life after Randy Savage.

RD wants to 'turn things around' for the site (:09) by making a new column for it. The rest of his talk is just rambling about the progrem. Bad quality sounds of lightning and Blade being clean interrupts RD's shilling. (:14)

:18 Blade tries some Throwback Doritos (not made from natural sugar). He approves.

:22 Tammy Sytch is writing a cookbook on indiegogo.com (and not belly dancing!) that can be funded by just about anyone, quite similar to the Rose's movie that was mentioned and promptly forgotten about last year. Let's just hope she doesn't have any recipes involving eggs. RD thinks she will belly dance based on the "gogo" part of the url. For once, Blade has to explain to him the concept of crowdfunding. Yes, I know.

David Arquette is in rehab...since December. Boy, that's some hot latest wrestling news for you. Dave Meltzer can only marvel at such speed. SPEAKING OF, Blade's ex-girlfriend did not like RD's gift screensaver of the former WCW Champion. (:30)

Ashley Massaro will be on a bad sounding copy of The Bachelorette with potential suitors actually fighting for her. RD has to explain nicknames of their Divas to new listeners. Blade loses track. Is the Midnight Rose homeless? (:40)  He'll be wrestling in Ottawa (in Kansas, far south of Canada) on the 21st and is also to be getting his own well made tour T-shirts.

:45 Question Of The Week: TV's Mr. Neil of Facebook wants a new football bet. Blade wants to bet on the Pro Bowl. RD accepts, but he'd prefer to bet on if the game is actually good.

:49 Ed Salo's Trash Baggin' won this year's FFL with a 5-8 record. RD calls him up. He once again answers sleepily. He wins despite not properly updating his roster from week to week, but he has a field day having fun with it all. He rewarded himself with a Classic Boo Berry shirt. RD dismisses him by ending the Skype conversation.

:59 John Kelly. Something about making an actual feud based on that fucking blasted love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle. See, THIS is why TNA is failing.

Blade can't get through his bad jokes anymore so the Ratings Reaper returns from his exile since the Roast to claim him. (I sincerely hope this is also how Horatio Caine meets his end when they cancel CSI: Miami.)

:67 Mike Check calls from prison to pad out the progrem length. He was once based Tuskaloosa's WEAT "Eat In Tuskaloosa" as Jammin' Jay Duvall, and with Pete "PB" Basille did "Lunch with PB & Jay" Taylor Wilde has retired rather than continue to work in the healthy environment that is TNA. Of course, Mike has always wanted to get Wilde with her. This is also probably the first I've heard Cat Stevens on US-based radio in years.

:75 Shawn Michaels is going to the Hall Of Fame. This is a good an excuse as any for Jim Ross to call in. He resolves to get Andre's HOF ring for his penis. Let's hope Hollywood John doesn't claim it first.

There is still a week left as of this writing to vote for the Gooker. This year we have: Abyss and his Hulk Hogan Green Lantern-style ring, Edge kidnapping Paul Bearer, The New Monday Night War, another blasted Hornswaggle angle, Orlando Jordan, THEY (Bischoff and Hogan) 'coming' to TNA, John Cena getting 'fired' yet still showing up for work, Standing Up for Linda's Senate Bid, NXT Season 3, and Bret Hart Vs. Vince McMahon.

Mike Adamle was caught drunk driving. Blade has one piece of ACTUAL advice for him: get drunk at home instead.

Seventeen Syllables of advice for him:
Adamle's a lush.
He needs a new role model:
Mister Blade Braxton.

Blade owes RD $7 at the end of all this.

181 The WCR 5th Anniversary Telethon: August 13, 2010

182 minutes (!)

It's the 5th anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. No, I can't believe it either.

With bad MIDI music playing, Blade remembers his favorite moments of meeting Mike Reno and Hollywood. RD's were meeting Vince Russo and the numerous characters the two have voiced. "I would not like to remember any shows without Angry Jim Ross." says he. He also forgot to credit the Ratings Reaper on their disc. Perhaps I should inquire if next time I should do all the detail smoothing... Meanwhile Blade is stuck on feces and the fetish of Bette Midler farting. Lord Alfred shills, as he is always a master at doing.

For the rest of the show the Co-Fruitcakes call and then hang up on the 12(+) Listeners on Skype. Because, sure, why not? RD asks them for one (1) favorite moment of theirs on the show, then Blade asks them a random question on Don (Mason) before RD quickly hangs up on them. Of course, he can only talk to so many in thirty or so hours, and I know for certain that neither I or Kelly asked to be called either. Regardless though, let's see who we get on the air. [I didn't either. Sorry to break kayfabe folks but there was only room for one drunk guy on the show this anniversary and Blade filled the quota - Clarence]

:13 Austin Gilliam, the Gilman. He takes the call while security guarding in the rain. In a lovely Southern accent he likes Don Mason and his attempts to have sex with a midget. He easily gets his question right and is subsequently congratulated by Sir Alec's audience.

:19 Chainsaw Rich, Master Control Operator in NY. The Co-Fruitcakes worry that he won't be fired from his job while taking the call. He understood Mike Check, and certainly liked Blade losing his bet, and many years later RD losing his bet and having to sing. Alas, he fails the Co-Host trivia question so it is now 1/2.

:25 Amanda. She does the right thing and hangs up. Next then is The People's Regulator. He very much liked Sir Alec (Guiness)'s story about Frankie. He cannot answer the question so we're 1/3.

:32 Brandon, one of those who 'attended' the Roast. They have to call him through his girlfriend but before they cause further wacky hijinks they hit the voicemail. So they call David, Angry Jim's stunt double at that Roast with the same Vivaldi music as Alec. He makes a customary bad joke but makes up for it by getting the question. The tally is now 2/4.

:38 Mr. Snatch. He's incredulous of them calling while outside a bar. He's always liked Bedding Man. 2/5.

:43 T-Man from Blade's Myspace. They hit his voicemail too. Blade keeps wanting to call Amanda back for some reason, and this time he manages to get through. She also likes Bedding Man. 2/6.

:51 Frank In New York, the guy fired from Circuit City. He's still looking for a job. He listened to them talk about a Maxim list while on jury duty and couldn't stop laughing. 3/7

Blade has to take a leak and thus makes the show more bearable to listen to.

:59 Dominic "Mysterio". Like me he once listened to all the episodes in a week. He remember John Thomas calling and hitting on Blade for some reason. 4/8

:64 Bob Taco. He likes Jim drafted to Blade's Co-Fruitcake role during the last Draft and breaking down. 4/9

:69 Ed Salo can't be reached because he changed his number. They call Brian instead while RD looks for Ed's number. They hit Brian's voicemail too. They call another guy now, Byron. This time they get through. He remembers a (Horny) Jim Ross giving a replacement gift of Oklahoma Sooners boxers to the guy who won the auction for Katie Vick's outfit but refused to accept it. 4/10 Blade thinks everyone thinks Don is gay. (I just think he's bisexual.) RD finally reaches a very mellow Ed at :76. He's always liked the original (and classic!) tale of trashbagging. He's also enjoyed reading the Book of Lists. "It's a page turner," he says listlessly. 5/11

:82 Pete. He remembers the show falling apart when the two watch that Tarzan Boy music video. 5/12 Brian is called again and now they are successful. He had to put on his pants first. He remembers Nathaniel being replaced at his job. 5/13

:90 Robert Q, who's written for the site before. He also liked Blade's having something to say, especially when he had to denounce Demolition. 5/14

:96 Primetime. He liked Jim Ross losing his restaurant. But disturbingly, does his young nephew listen to the show??? 5/15

:102 Roid Raging Douche Chills. He remembers his question being read immediately after Blade revealed he had sex with the Katie Vick outfit. 5/16

:108 Will. They talk to his wife who's also a listener, and also has a thing for her husband's Mike Check impression. Of course - how do you think he managed to impregnate all those women? He is fond of listening to the show while deployed in Iraq, but fails at asking RD for a freebie for the two of them. It was worth a try, at any rate. He breaks the streak of losing at answering the Don question (this one about him and his grandfather finding a guy fucking a horse), as the score is now 6/17.

:119 Newt. He doesn't pick up the phone. Blade has to go to the bathroom again while RD calls another guy named Anthony. He had inadvertently led to the duo having their infamous discussion about banging your meat (preferably with a stick). He sings White Lion and likes Greg calling in angered at all the false rumors spread against him and his legitimate web-hosting company. 6/18

:127 Josh. He had once paid to be on the show before. 6/19 At least this time RD actually says his farewells to him before hanging up.

:133 Rob the Nerd. He also enjoyed hearing about how Blade had sex with a pair of clothes. Before he gets any further the loudness of the Don Mason musical sting drowns them both out. He does get to answer the question correctly however. 7/20

:138 Shawn "Michaels" Breeding. He also had to put on his pants before answering. He liked their last year Christmas-themed episode. 7/21

:143 Toom E. Guci, a highly valued moderator on the WC forum. Unfortunately his wearing Jimmy Wang Yang boots at a restaurant named Dick's Last Resort makes Popeye call in, once again without having to have the telephone ring. Mr. Guci gets through with good humor but sadly fails at the question too: 7/22.

[As a somewhat unnecessary but interesting to me only aside, I think these characters and impressions are how RD expresses himself sexually. Blade, the sexually frustrated bachelor who drinks a lot and is a general raconteur is always a rowdy man to be around. This shows in his (drunken) speech of course. but also shows in the majority of the characters he voices. RD on the other hand, the more stable based man with a happy family and an occupation which sends him to Disneyland a lot, is much more subtle and indirect in how he 'handles' the matter (nudge nudge wink wink). It's very much a meeting of opposites in that regard. (And no, I'm still not Clarence.)] [Interesting theory. I may have to steal it. I shall call it The "Blah" defence - Clarence]

:150 Stevie J. of Angry Marks. At this point everyone is tired, but Blade still (drunkenly) talks to Lady J. about something or other. I couldn't catch the skein of what he was trying to say. Mr. J also likes trashbagging, but isn't good at this Don Mason trivia sadly. 7/23.

:161 Taylor, the valedictorian Blade mentioned last year, gets applause from the (still awake) audience. He also wonders if Blade wants to have sex with his grandmother. He can still remember the first episode, RD wondering if Blade is "ready for this." The man's as witty as I, he'll go far in this company I think. Sadly, he cannot answer the question, leaving our final Don Mason tally at 7 out of 24.

Tsk tsk. If those people were frequent readers of this site that percentage would be much higher, let me tell you! [/shill]

Blade interrupts himself with Sir Alec reading a letter from another man named Tony Nagle (:170) and John Kelly being quieter than usual, but at least Blade gets himself to sing about the show.

RD (still wanting a tear in Robert Gibson's glass eye): "I know I don't like where this is going."

136 Horny Jim Ross: February 20, 2009

76 minutes

Dark Journey
A find of some rare outtakes of Jim Ross (in this week's It Came From YouTube!) prove him to be a fan of Dark Journey. (Well wouldn't you?) Blade wants him to be the next singer for Loverboy and compares him to Don Mason's portrayal on Revenge of the Black Scorpion (on the Archive Disc, available from fine sites on the Internets.) Our now Horny Jim Ross calls in. (:04) Now that he is no longer being intimate with his wife he focuses his sexual attention on poor Miss Linda Newton (and rather forcibly too at that). Some of the good old porn music helps him get in the mood as he he leaves for some corn oil. Blade wants to read strange/slash wrestling fanfiction on the show. (:12) RD skat-sings Vivaldi in response. Blade is shirtless this week, for a change.

RD bought cookies from "The Fudge Factory" on his TRIP to the Grocery. (:18) The Book of Lists (Exclamation Point) and Death of WCW are now available on the Amazon Kindle, sadly still not available in Canada. (:23) Blade turned 34 last week. "What a filthy show this is!" he says. RD plays random sounds in response, but did send his Co-Hoss a figure of a screaming Kirk in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, complete with four extra hands. I just hope Blade doesn't hallucinate Kirk is Mae Young and start pulling hands from his ass. [Blade spent Valentine's Day at the strip club, so send your future donations in one dollar bills. —Iggy]

Obscure Wrestling News: (:29) Lacey Von Erich appears in Playboy. The recently retired Victoria wants to do some MMA. (:32) The HorseTrolla lifts the tail: Francine is pregnant. That's all we get. (:34) Val "The Freetarian" Venus has some random "provocative" T-Shirts for sale in yet another desperate attempt to make money. I'm probably going to buy one for Iggy and make Morley happy with the ONE person who would buy that. [Oops, I forgot and didn't buy even a single one.]

Question of the Week (:40) comes from - myself? That's a surprise. (3) I ask: What is Blade's Big Announcement? He promises to reveal it 'soon'. Some talk of his karaoke, sadly no new song made in a year by himself or with his Hobo Six.

The topic turns to Blade's auctions, where a man by the name of James has won the auction of Katie Vick's panties. The two talk to him (:44) where he reveals he has a Obi-Wan Kenobi cup with him to match RD's WWE Niagara Falls (and my Canadiens one). Blade tantalizes that Don Mason would turn into Obi-Wan with the power of the Force...of enough weed. James is also the first person to have a site from Global Internet (http://the-reactor.org/) but the having sex part from getting it was delayed slightly. He clarifies that he did the good and honorable thing and decided to just send the money rather than ask for the clothes in return, something I can commend him for. In return Jim Ross sent a gift of his own to James, and calls back on the show to talk to him in his own special way. Said gift is a pair of Oklahoma Sooners' boxers.

Now for something the world totally didn't want, a new TNA correspondent! (:59) RD promises a "New Era" in TNA reporting and brings his newest recruit, one Mike Check to do things and...Well, do you remember when RD wanted someone with 'radio experience'? Well this is what he gets, to the letter. He rambles and malapropisms on "WWCR with Blake Braxton" and his time as Macon Dixon at WPEZ "The Pez" in Macon Georgia, makes some ode to Billy Gunn (who worked with him while Mike was Pecos Bill at KSII "The Kiss" in El Paso, Texas) and just cuts to a Phil Collins song at :67.

Ah, what the hell. THIS guy's my new favorite TNA guy, pushing David Lee Roth down to second place.

Current Wrestling News takes us from there. Christian returns to ECW. RD is not looking forward to Wrestlemania this year, much like last year. (:71) Blade has a idea for an induction of Mickey Rourke in case his appearance fails to level out. But RD can't stop thinking of Jim Ross and what he's going to do with all that corn oil.

Seventeen syllables about Dark Journey:
It is nightmare fuel.
I hope I don't dream about
JR's Dark Journey.

130 A Christmas CaRoss: December 19, 2008

Merry XMAS...And Go F*** Yourselves!
You're a mean one, Mr. Deal.
82 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

If you're looking for any actual wrestling news here then you're out of luck. Of course...why are you listening to this show for news in the first place anyway? [Get your HOT NEWZ right here. --Iggy]

RD and Blade announce that due to the hard financial times we are in, only one of the...'12' listeners could send them a present, of which we'll soon see (well, hear). (:03) Don Mason once tried having sex with a dwarf. Unfortunately she did not have the nick/name of Sexy. (:05) Blade once again promises a great show, but he's not helped by being drunk off his ass due to the Lions' loss to the Colts. According to Mr. Braxton he's more better when sober, but I have my doubts. Besides he could have two deadly sides, like Harvey Dent. He also has some array of STDs. RD is mystified by things on his own DVD. (:13)

Mention is made of last week of a returned to angry Jim Ross trying to uplift his spirits by making a "Christmas album" (16). We listen to Blade's karaoke - I mean Jim's singing tones - spitting on the mike about Bell's Palsy as RD helps record his golden tones (and tries to stifle his laughter - yes, very professional.)

There is mention of the new induction, the movie adaptation of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I admit it's a terrible movie, and one of Ron Howard's worst, but I disagree with RD, as I've seen worse. Besides, in my humble opinion the worst Dr. Suess movie is obviously The Cat in the Hat. RD reveals he's drinking a bit too due to the movie. (:21) Sadly Blade did NOT see it with Don. RD's TRIP consists of his ordeal of an odyssey of obtaining the movie to review, interspersed by Blade's meanderings (of course).

Another JR 'song' is made, I mean listened to.

Obscure Wrestling News - Maria is dating a WWE cameraman (:32). Sad News - Deuce is splitting from Domino to be known as Sim Snuka and Cherry is retiring to pursue further education. (:33)

Another JR 'song'. mypenisdoesnothavepalsy.com has not yet been taken. Does that mean it would get erect/online on one side only?

Question of the Week (:38) this week Present of the Week, due to gifts from Ed Salo (2) (they say his name wrong, what is it about mispronouncing names? Don't get to MY name I beg you!). They turn out to be some very nice Count Chocula shirts.

Trolla's 'gift' for RD hasn't 'arrived' yet, prompting him to call Technical Support...for a package delivery? Don't you need CUSTOMER Support for that? He does this via a free face-to-face Skype call. (:43) The whole thing is just an excuse for the TattooTrolla Guy to make an appearance answering RD's call. It seems the package was sent not to RD, but to Nathaniel. Of course, seeing as how RD and Nate are the same guy it's easy to get confused.

RD 'summons' 'Nate' to explain himself (:49) He calls into 'WrestleClap' (Is that one of Blade's mentioned STDs?)  Coincidentally the package arrives for him just that moment. How 'convenient.' (Also RD hits on his wife - I mean, Nate's 'mother'.) It turns out to be a TrollaTron 7800 'MegaTrolla', the new TNA correspondent. "But wait," you say (assuming you verbally respond to this website), "Isn't that Nate's job? How are we going to explain this discrepancy?" Sure enough, Nate gets exterminated for our amusement, sounding like an extra in one of Don Mason's home movies [And buy your copy of the Archive Disc today! /shill]. (Also the sounds of gunfire sound more like he's getting killed questing for a Captain Crunch drink at the nearby Carl's Jr.)
So he falls, the fifth TNA 'correspondent' to go in just the year alone. For the next year I predict it will change at least four more times, one of those times being Angry JR. Want to hold me on it Iggy? The wager doesn't have to be on hockey of course. [I'll bite. What's at stake? --Iggy] [Hmmm...whoever loses has to be more nice than mean-spirited in their next recap of the show?][Okay, but let's put it on the Pens/Habs game rather than waiting until 2010. --Iggy]

Current Wrestling News - Marissa Tomei plays a stripper in The Wrestler (:60). A recap of the show and all the wrestling news therein is made, which...yeah.

We get another JR 'song'.

Finally we get to the main point of the week as presents are opened. (:65) Blade got back his shirt he left at RD's home, some Boba Fett helmet car thing, a Darth Vader snow globe, some Lions shirt, and some action figures of the Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, and Matilda (in packaging for Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson). RD got a DVD of The Outsiders, a Quentin Tarantino figure who looks like Peyton Manning (in Kill Bill: Vol.3: Kill Bill Belichick), and a Don Mason gift of Killer Looks complete with corn oil.

Haiku to close out the wonderful year of 2008:
Nathaniel is dead.
Blasted by Trolla product.
Greatest gift of all.

One more JR 'song' ends things. Happy holidays everyone! Iggy and myself wish you all well till the next year.

126 Top (Wrestle)Chef: November 14, 2008

Top (Wrestle)Chef
Mushy Peas!
61 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Although the release date of the WrestleCrap Archive Volume II Electric Boogaloo DVD has been delayed slightly, the Teaser Trailer for the WCR Shoot Interview has been uploaded to show that it actually was recorded and actually exists. Blade is once again in trouble for his lewdness and his frequent conversation about cereals that time, but that fails in comparison compared to the brought up 'continuity error' (AKA random laziness) of resurrecting Stubby just for the sake of the Shoot. And it was lasting so well too! Ah well. Another Triple Kelly induction makes its way this week, this time of Booker T's Einsteinesque intelligence on The Weakest Link (thank God he was smarter for Family Feud). The Angry Marks ad feed is again updated, with the aid of a lot of exclamation points.

Discussion of the Shoot Interview continues in RD's TRIP to the Grocery (:09). If Blade had to go shopping Black Friday he would bring Don...Don Mason along with him. To try and get RD off his tail on that line of thinking Blade tells us about what Don told him "why you shouldn't have anal sex." (:12)

Mr. Braxton visited the famous World Food Aisle and confuses RD and us somehow. (:15) Blade is sure one of the 12 Listeners (and thus by default one of the 12 Readers of this article) is listening to this while having sex, but RD is unsure. I'm guessing Blade does, preferably while wearing his Katie Vick outfit.

RD's friend Clayton is on the line; you'll remember him as the man of the King Pedophile commercials and of the taco Doritos debate. (:17 - :26) Blade wonders if he lives in the not too distant future way down in Deep 13 hatching an evil scheme with TV's Frank concerning sending a man into space and subjecting him to really bad movies (hey, he mentioned it first, not me). Regardless, Clayton says that "the incoherent rantings of a drunken hobo" are half-right; not all places in the Continental US sell them, so Blade might not find any near his location like Clayton does. [I thought Blade knew there are Taco Doritos, but they didn't taste like the Taco Doritos he grew up with...There is a pattern of Blade loving things which are extinct. --Iggy] As you can expect on a fine wrestling progrem such as this some discussion of Doritos ensures. Mention is made of the Fruity Pebbles/Mountain Dew Doritos (AKA the Epic Fail Doritos as RD calls them).

Faxtrolla's Obscure Wrestling NEWS - would you pay for a WrestleCrap video podcast? (:27) I know I would, particularly to see if Blade's wearing no pants and is drunk/hungover every week (or even able enough to actually do a show). This week, we visit The Hulk Hogan Experiment, a rapper trying (and almost getting too at times) to sound as gruff as the Hulkster. Shouldn't he call himself Brother Hulkster then? He also sounds like that one person who covered Beach Patrol a year ago. RD thinks the few tracks the man has sound better than that Hulk Rules album. I still prefer the Family Man song though. (There's some attempt to make a video out of all this here.)

Blade gets a MySpace bulletin from the Maestro (Stro?), advising him to do Christmas shopping with some memorabilia at some site or other. If you want to buy overpriced t-shirts with a simple picture on them, now's your chance! Of particular interest to our co-hosts is the mousepad which makes him look like he's dead. Why, I didn't even know he was sick! (Though to me he looks more like the Ghost Rider.)

Jim Ross calls (:40), still bitter on being on Smackdown and being sent overseas like RD was and being fed mushy peas and tea and crumpets and baby food, BUH GAWD! One of Blade's favorite foods is some sort of 'baby wienies', whatever the hell they are. [Vienna Sausages —iggy] But I still think you can serve them with JR's barbeque sauce. RD promises not to tell JR's wife about his pulled pork with Mickie James.

Question Statement of the Week (:46) from Frequent Questioner (and this week, an unhappy one) Ultimate Kennedy (6), shares my views of 'Nathaniel'.

SPEAKING OF Nathaniel, here he comes again. RD changed his number as a preemptive measure so he has to call him instead; oh the humanity. (:49) This week he's more animated than usual. Blade would rather watch the Lions lose. I of course, prefer my Canadiens, who are often so erratic they make the Joker look quite sane. TNA's Turning Point is discussed amid all the noise pollution. However, this time it's somewhat slightly less annoying, mostly due to Blade having more time to actually get some words in sideways against him, and the two shouting him down. Total time: 3:30 minutes. Blade tries his own impression of RD doing his impression of Nathaniel. They fear the 12 Listeners tune out and miss the Current Wrestling News and Haiku  - which isn't that big of a deal for them to fret about. They can waste less time and just read them on this very site.

SPEAKING OF Music-less Current Wrestling Sad News: Mike Adamle is no longer on TV (:54), even though he only served one year out of a three year contract. [I think it was only a one year deal and that RD somehow mistook Mike Adamle for Ric Flair. —iggy] WWE cleaned out a portion of their roster, among them Lena Yada. Blade laments she was not named Lena Yoda.

Seventeen Syllables from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Oooh! Lena Yoda!
Business not strong in this one.
Mmmm! Fired you are!

RD: "Yoda kinda sounds like he has some Angry Jim Ross in him."
Blade: "So what you're telling me is Jim Ross fucked Yoda?"
RD: (Yoda) "Mmmm! To the Dark Side he went!"

Well, if there's ever some sort of Wookie-style BBQ sauce involved in some way, then...

123 Ric Flair Spotted With Bear: October 17, 2008

Ric Flair Spotted With Bear
(80 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah

As expected we start the show with Nathaniel attempting to ring in. I admit I understand his persistence; if only his beloved TNA would do the same. RD argues with himself while Blade wishes for Peter Gazer to have an Honorable Discharge from the Navy. (:02) RD tries to defend the show's wrestling veracity a bit, something that I do not really complain about. Whereupon he brings up some strange case of deja vu/old news/time warp of the Honky Tonk Man (again) nearly losing his finger before his appearance on Cyber Sunday. WWE is now charging people to vote on their hotline (:06) Don...Don Mason once called up sex lines just to talk. Don...donmason.com and uncharistmaticenigma.com have not yet been taken. Speaking of Don Mason...more fellow Crappers prefer his segments than RD's TRIP to the Grocery. (:12)

Speaking of RD's TRIP to the Grocery, delayed very slightly by RD and Blade waxing nostalgic about their earlier segments and attempts at actual wrestling news and Blade enjoying frozen dinners alongside his Miller Lite and V8 and discussion about tacos...RD tries Ranch Taco shells (:21). Blade finds it all "interesting", but somehow is slowly getting angered by their intense discussion about Taco Doritos for some reason. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Although, what's he going to do while drunk? Drive over to your house?

...

...

...

And throw full trashbags at it?


Phew, almost missed it by that much.

Obscure Wrestling News is overflowing with information this week. (As it always seems to be.) Balls Mahoney's money was stolen from his bag (:26) RD can't understand chained wallets. Ah, these kids today...Blade does his Balls Mahoney impression by reading one of his psychotically written statements where he vows to kill the thief who stole his family's sustenance. Apparently he hasn't heard of banks. Still, if I were him at least I would be thankful he didn't lose his money in the bad financial markets as of this writing.

I bet the rematch is only
available through paid DLC.
Ric Flair was spotted with a guy in a bear suit which causes our co-hosts to crack up. (:31) This leads to our Dynamic Duo YouTubing the Theme to BJ and the Bear while wondering of their anal sexual activities (with the following comment from YouTuber tracyterry: "i heard Greg fucked the fuckin monkey up the ass between takes :P". I'm willing to bet that next week will feature the Theme to either TJ Hooker or Man From Atlantis. WrestleCrap Radio, your perfect source of BJ and the Bear news! (You can find video of their escapades here. As for Flair's escapades, we now have a logical reason for that.)

This Week's Interactive Segment: Dawn Marie poses with a Jokeress (or is that Harley Quinn?). (:41) Poor woman. I know she can't help that smile but she'll never live it down.

The WWE 24/7 Music unexpectedly pops up, taking RD by surprise (:43). Blade names the month after himself by the fact that they showed his first appearance on a RAW show, the one with the first mention of Degeneration X. Can YOU find him?

Question of the Week: More like Questioning of the Week, as RD and Blade talk with Jay Watts, the man behind (pun fully intended) bignippledvampire.com Not much to see here, but he does offer the privilege to help him with his site through his email at jaywwatts@gmail.com (:48 - :56)

Oh Emperor, Nathaniel's back for more TNA news. I know that this is all a long, long, long...long joke and all, but it will only be all worth it if we get to the ultimate punchline: Angry JR as TNA correspondent. Think about it, won't you? He takes seven minutes this time. An equally upset Blade wonders (as I do) if Johnny 6 can be rebuilt, preferably better, stronger, faster.

CM Punk will be in the Chicago Thanksgiving Day Parade (:65) Blade wonders if Mickie James would be dressed as a centaur, leading to further talk about Thanksgiving Day Parades. The second strangest segue in WCR (so far) is used here, and with good effect: Trish Stratus, Haiku Plagiariser for Burger King at meathaiku.com (and also at http://rajah.com/base/node/13884) . (:70) Her Haiku for posterity's sake:

Do yoga, eat meat.
Stratusfaction guaranteed.
Do the body good.

The phone rings again (:73) - but it's just Jim Ross. (Skykid has made a youtube video of this phone call.) He too is angry over how their Meat Curtain Diva is hopping on the WCR rip-off bandwagon while regaling the Dynamic Duo about Dark Journey's sexual proclivities with Bill Watts. And it looks like he wrote his own Haiku about it too. Why am I not surprised? (:79)

Trish don't like my meat.
Neither does my fucking wife.
Fuck all them bitches.

And now Jim has to get back to work on his new flavor: Canadian Hickory Barbeque Sauce. Well, if it helps make this listening go down better, I'm all for it!

114 Hot or Not: August 8, 2008

Talking Wrestling with Mom
(74 minutes)

Despite being posted for months on the WrestleCrap Radio myspace, the live appearance listed below was never booked:
August 8, 2008 at 8 P.M.
Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre
Kissimee, FL

It's gonna be one dandy of a jam-up time. All your favorite Cher and Hall & Oates songs will be performed live onstage by RD & Blade. Just added to the bill!!!!! A poetry reading by John Thomas from Meridian Chase Mastercharge, and a special inspirational spoken word performance from B.M. Punk.


This week's blurb for WrestleCrap update:
Because you demanded it...PAUL CHRISTY IS BACK! This time our favorite wrestling magician-hypnostist-rapist is featured in It Came From YouTube. Thrill as he deep throats a microphone! Plus...New Induction! New Someone Bought This! And a Brand New WrestleCrap Radio...but Blade is missing! Never fear, though - RD and Triple Kelly are on hand to tackle all the news AND give our long lost hobo a musical tribute!


Are your expectations lowered yet? Well, it's still summer, so go outside or something.

As always, WrestleCrap Radio's recommended play speed is 2x.

Blade is passed out so in his place 3Kelly plays Hot or Not (:05). RD implies that the Brooklyn Brawler is gay (:11).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD searched for Peanut Butter Toast Crunch (:13). 3Kelly's Weekly Trip to the Goodwill to Search for LPs and VHS: Jumpin' Jack Flash soundtrack (:23) and Trees Talk Too (:30).

Happy 75th, Cap'n Lou!
Obscure Wrestling News: Stacey Keibler is on a publicity tour for her role in the miniseries Samurai Girl. (:32) The Sandman went to Captain Lou Albano's 75th birthday party and got arrested (:34) while his son has begun wrestling as Twisted Sand (:38). I guess if he teamed with Lance Storm's kid, they could call themselves Sandstorm. Torrie Wilson is getting back into wrestling (:43). Glens Falls, New York, is celebrating their resident son Hacksaw Jim Duggan. (:44) A 101 year old woman won tickets to a WWE showing. (:48)

Horsetrolla: Someone spotted a Mickie James Roast Beef sign at SNME (:51). Question of the Week happens (:54). Primetime (3) thinks Santino should be women's champion. The Divas Belt has a vagina on it.

The new TNA correspondent, Pete, is, perhaps, a myth. 3Kelly watches Urkel rather than Impact (:59) -- URKEL . . . . IN 2008. COULD TNA SUCK THAT BAD?!?

TNA has a game for mobile phones. The CableFAX Program Awards are all a work. (:61) Ric Flair has left WWE. (:64)

Long lost hobo "musical" tribute.

111 Stubbed: July 11, 2008

The WWF Pinball Lizard
(73 minutes)

Sad News: Stubby's dead, which is good because he was doing a poor imitation of Otto & George's act. Misses Deal set him on fire or something (:07).This makes Blade angry as only someone laughing while dying can. He also realizes only now that Raw sucks.

RD snapped a photo of a gigantic inflatable Titanic slide. (:15) Blade meanwhile saw a giant inflatable Eddie Murphy head used for advertising for Meet Dave. Sad News: that movie was terrible.

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade once asked a midget to imitate Steve Austin as Short Cold (:23). RD worked one show with WCWO in a furniture store (though not as bad as working with Diamond Dan in a junkyard), and was familiar with Ron Owens, the arrested manager of last week's Even Colder Mike Austin (:29). Blade has a friend named Vince Viagra. Chris Harris, who once worked with RD, debuted in ECW with the fantastic name of Braden Walker. (:32) Sad News: Ashley Massaro was released. (:34) FCW finally has plumbing now. Tommy Dreamer is following Chavo Guerrero in hair growth using.

RD put his WWF Royal Rumble pinball machine into the eBay WC yard sale. (:42) Question of the Week happened (:47). Ismael Naji (2) thinks the Big Nippled Vampire needs to eat a sandwich.

Paid boring self-promotion with Josh Dionio (:51 - end). Could you believe he paid $162.50? To be on THIS show?

How the haiku is supposed to be done:
ECW.
08's shocking moment:
Heel Saba Simba.

108 Hungry Hungry Ken Patera: June 13, 2008

Hungry Hungry Ken Patera
(87 minutes)

Photo taken by Sean Carless
This week's induction is the Ken Patera story. I must quote the induction. Mean Gene Okerlund: "The true tragedy began innocently enough. Late, on a snowy night, in Wakesha, Wisconsin, when a hungry Ken Patera went to a fast food restaurant after a grueling match. According to newspaper reports, Ken Patera was denied service, told the restaurant was closed for the night. It is alleged that Ken Patera and a co-defendant threw a rock through the restaurant window, resulting in a call to the police. . . . Who's to blame? The judicial system? Society? Or does Ken Patera bear the full brunt on his own wide shoulders? Let Ken Patera tell you." Ken Patera: "I accept full responsibility for my actions. I should have never listened to Bobby Heenan!""

Blade is continually drunk and likes to talk about his semen. The show has not jumped the shark because it IS the shark.

Blade's Trip to the Convenience Store: Mountain Dew Quest Doritos taste like Pine Sol Fruity Pebbles (:19) and the Jimmy Hendrix Liquid Experience tastes like strawberry battery acid (:30). Blade apologizes for it. Word of advice: Don't ever become famous.

Obscure Wrestling News: Maven was hired by Home Shopping Network (:37). Although there is a graphic on Maven's website for "Fan Mail," it is not linked to anything. My favorite piece of Maven News is: "Recently, without much of an announcement regarding this, Maven was removed from Day of Reckoning 2 for Gamecube due to his release from World Wrestling Entertainment. If you were planning on buying the game just because it was one of the few games that Maven was in, you might want to think twice now that he was taken out of the game."

Blade finds out in the book Ring of Hell that Arn Anderson gave Tylene Buck a cat-bath, which seems to be some sort of amazing accomplishment rather than yet another random term name that the kids are using these days. Meanwhile Stacy Kiebler is not appearing topless in a Disney mini-series.

Horsetrolla: Francine got married (:48). Stubby's TNA News: Ratings fell below A.M. Raw, which airs at 2 A.M. on Saturday nights. This prompts RD to play a thunderous soundbite. (:54)

Question of the Week: Chris Angler's (2) soundbite of a now voice acting Stephanie Wyand. (:60) Bret Michaels has fucked everybody (:61). Please click on this link to see a picture of a sad old man with a large package in tight jeans staring at you, next to a small diabetic child's endearing letter, all on a web 0.2 site.

RD calls a Trekkie named David who got a Trolla tattoo (:66 - :77).

People are not interested to see Vince try and give away a million dollars.

Seventeen Syllables:
Rick Astley on Raw
Never gonna give you up.
Ratings going down.

077 Co-Hosss Cher-Off: September 28, 2007

Co-Hosss Cher-Off
(85 minutes)

SPEAKING OF Gookers...
Co-Host Contest "winner" Kelly is on the line. Smooth Jazz Blade returns once again thanks to some behind the neck microphone for $5.99.

Blade wanted to get a Black Scorpion tattoo. RD will miss his 20th High School Reunion for the Legends show. Marty Jannety called him asking for chicks.

Obscure Wrestling News (:21): Dawn Marie wants to return to WWE. RD can't hear properly. Gangrel is now directing porn, though without Kevin or Ariel. (:29) Sex with Greg Valentine falling down on you. Johnny Fairplay is a better bull-rider than Vanilla Ice. SPEAKING OF Ariel she wants to be the next Elvira. (:39)

Question of the Week (:42): Ton Insley wants Missy Hyatt inflatable dolls. Blade doesn't know who Bob Crane is. More 'fun' with the Diva Search, "The World Series of Bimbos." (:46)

Clocktrolla: 10076 days. (:53)

"Current Wrestling News" is music-less so we instead sing Cher with RD. (:56 - :64)

Smackdown wedding with Tommy Dreamer's hat. Blade didn't watch it so he makes excuses. The love story of Kelly Kelly and Balls Mahoney. Midgets. Wrestlers drugging women. (Midget wrestlers drugging women?)

These Seventeen Syllables:
The contest's over.
I've only got one more syl-
lable to add: (gong).
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Jana to my Zan, Triple Kelly
  • The Gleek to my Zan, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. BigLots!, Best Buy, Global Internet, WCWA Pro Wrestling Legends Show, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 7. Women, the new book, Halloween, movements, going into houses and such, dangerous ground, rape
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Bob Krane, Hogans Heroes
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Triple Kelly
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
 
  • RD Time Outs: 3
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 4
  • Weird Al Laughs: 4
  • Cricket Chirps: 3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • CrĂĽe Cues: 1
  • Mamma Mia! That's a Spicy Meatball!: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1
  • Tammy Sytch References: 4
  • Trish Stratus References: 3
  • Shelly Martinez References: 3

  • Question of the Week from: Ton Insley
    • Unlike most of the WWE Legends dolls, wouldn't a Missy Hyatt doll have to be inflatable? No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    The contest's over.
    I've only got one more syl-
    lable to add: (gong).
 

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

CrĂĽe Ball
Crap In A Hat
(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy. Blade: "That sounds so exciting, I’m, I’m literally I’m I’m salivating at the mouth just thinking about it."

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Balls to my Mahoney, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. JackTunney.com, Furthermore.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Things you shouldn’t probably partake in, which, CM Punk and John Morrison
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Atari 2600, Wide World of Sports
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Kelly
 
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Ultimate Kennedy (4)
    • If a smark were to design a wrestling video game, do you think one of the statistics that they would work into characters would be a work rate listing? Wrestlers could have such things as speed, stamina and work rate. I think there would also be a moveset. I love the idea.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Return of the Game?
    I'd rather play Atari
    Twenty Six Hundred.
  • Kelly's Haiku:
    Vincent's bastard kid.
    A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
    Gooker ends in tie.

025 Komedy with a capital K: April 7, 2006

Komedy with a capital K
(47 minutes)

Blade's pants are a mystery.

RD says the old inductions mostly suck. Last week's callers were revealed. Heel RD needs to return. Blade and RD will meet for the first time soon.

RD's trip to the hillbilly Wal-Mart (:09): For Blade's arrival, RD has purchased Boo Berry. RD has lost 25 pounds since January 1. RD has been told that there will be an Easter Egg Hunt at a local funeral home, and it's the third annual. (:15) Jokes about hunting for hairy testicles are made.

Eyewitness testimony from Dr. Keith Lipinski that WrestleMania 21 sucked. (:18)

Obscure Wrestling News: Ricky Morton was in a car wreck. (:32) Nikolai Volkoff is attempting to get into politics, but he cannot escape his wrestling past. (:34) RD suggests he team up with the Iron Sheik and do things the old country way. Barry Darsow signed a Legends contract. Question of the Week from Shark Boy Fan: something about leprechauns and toadstools. These questions are really light in being actual 'questions'. (:39)

Not Indianapolis to be sure, but a remarkable simulation.

Blade Brakestown's Wrestling Haiku:
Forget old Conan.
Here's Triple-H as Gonad
the Barbarian.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Xena to my Hercules? Mr. Blade Brakes-town
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Harry Simon as Lee Marshall and John Thomas, Mrs. Deal as Peaches, D. Burgan as Scott Epstein, Dr. Keith Lipinski as Jack Arnold, Chris Thomas as Lang
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Porn that relates to shit-eating, last week's show, STDs, phlegm, Wrestlemania, Triple H looking like a Moe
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. He-Man, King Cobra, Colt 45, Billy D. Williams
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Dr. Keith Lipinski
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Dr. Keith Lipinski (2)


  • Trish Stratus References:  2
  • Mickie James References:  5

  • Question of the Week from: Shark Boy Fan
    • Hi guys. The other night I had a weird dream in which you and RD were living together. You had a big garden with a huge toadstool, and you ate whilst you were recording WrestleCrap Radio. So I was just wondering if you eat whilst recording your very entertaining radio program. P.S. you were wearing leprechaun outfits. No.
 
  • Blade Brakestown’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Hunter and the MOTU!!!
    Forget old Conan.
    Here's Triple-H as Gonad
    the Barbarian.