Episode 110: Holy Feet!: October 2, 2023

Surf's Up! Joker's Under!
November 16, 1967
"The Joker plans to become the king of surfing, hoping the fame will give him control over the hearts and minds of Gotham City. He captures top surfer Skip Parker, then uses his "Surfing Experience & Ability Transferometer" to transfer the needed skills and stamina from Skip to himself. When all the other contestants drop out of the upcoming surfing match, Batman steps up to challenge the Joker's supremacy."
50 minutes

Vince had to watch AEW Dynamite for the first time in three years, much to the chagrin of RD: ANTIQUE BEACHCOMBER and his surfing Batman and Joker shirt. It was a toss-up to Vince.

Vince also wonders why a surfing episode would air in the middle of November.

Narrator: "Surf's up at Gotham Point, and all the local surfers are shaping up for the forthcoming world surfing championships. Here's Skip Parker, local surfing idol and the hottest wave jockey around riding  out the soup to join his current beach bunny, Barbara Gordon."

Barbara's swimsuit is very pleasing to the Bros, especially in publicity shots.  

RD still owns YvonneCraigBikiniParty.com. He had told Vince of his purchase the last time he was on the old radio progrem.

Barbara and Skip flirt with each other.
Narrator: "But a fast surf isn't the only thing at Gotham Point that's hairy this morning! Not with this jesting jackstraw, the Joker, on the scene!"
A beach version of Joker's theme plays as he uses his hot-dog transmitter to coordinate his goons (Rip Tide and Wipe Out) kidnapping another surfer named Hot Dog Harrington. He then flirts with his own lady Undine, RD was mesmerized by her look. Vince noted she had a very flat stomach.

Joker sends Undine to get Skip by...walking up to him to tell him he has a phone call. Skip takes one look at her and decides to follow her, much to Barbara's surprise.
For this betrayal Joker gasses him.
Joker: "We'll run him into the Ten Toes Surfboard Shop and get all his surfing secrets out of him. Then after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good, I will rule the waves. Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers. Then Gotham City. Later, the world!"

Barbara calls Gordon, who calls the Duo. (:15)
Bruce: "Alfred, alert the Batcopter port. To the Batcave."
Dick: "COWABUNGA!"

Cue obvious stock footage of the Batcopter with two people who look nothing like the Duo or their regular stunt doubles. Robin looks way too muscular, even more so than Batman.
Narrator: "And so the forces of law and order converge on Gotham Point by air."
Robin (badly dubbed): "If we land on the beach, Batman, we might hurt someone."
Batman (badly dubbed): "And cause undue attention, old chum. We'll set down in Pelican Cove, just north of Gotham Point and walk down the beach just like ordinary people."
RD: "Also because we have no footage of the Batcopter landing in any sand."

The Undynamic Duo are already there in beach shorts, cheap sunglasses, and floppy hats, as Duke and Buzzy.
Gordon: "Well, most true surfers are known as Duke, Skip, Rabbit, or Buzzy."
They see a woman with green hair dancing to a performing band singing a song about a woman with brown hair. Then a trash can nearby them starts shaking.
O'Hara: "Buzzy, I think this trash can's trying to tell us something."
Gordon: "Nonsense, Duke. It's an echo of the surf."

RD: "This is all I ask. Could the US government let us know at the beginning of each year just send out a pamphlet: here are the terms we're no longer allowed to use? That way I, as an old white man, can make sure I'm not offending anyone."

Gordon and O'Hara Buzzy and Duke go to the Hang Five, Hot Dog Harrington's hangout, followed by the Duo. The staff immediately calls them "gremmies".
Robin: "No compliment. Beach bums. We should have worn our baggies."

Barbara had gone to change into Batgirl the Library, but told them to watch the woman behind the counter, who is Undine.
Batman: "You mean the one talking to her hot dog?"
Undine (on her hot-dog communicator): "They are sitting with a couple of antique beachcombers who  were asking some questions about Hot Dog Harrigan."

Joker tells her to leave them be for now, as he shows captive Skip his "Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer: all your surfing know-how will be drained out of you and transferred to me. And don't forget to switch on the Vigor Reverser, so that all his youthful energy will be pumped into my blood and bones!"
RD: "This is quite the episode."

As if that weren't odd enough, the Duo go back to the Batcave just so that Alfred can show them pictures of feet.
Alfred: "I thought these new illustrated Batslides might prove a bit of a novelty, sir."
Robin: "Holy ten toes."
Batman: "A cryptic comment, Robin. The Ten Toes Surfboard Shop has been closed for some time. The most appropriate hideout for Joker and a hostage. These Batslides are more than a novelty, Alfred. I've learned more in the past minute from these two naked feet than we learned at Gotham Point in one hour. Although we left Buzzy and Duke out there to follow up."
Alfred: "Buzzy and Duke, sir?"

By then Joker has absorbed all of Skip's...surfing power.
"The Surfing Championship of Gotham Point in the palm of my pig board! Oh, the prizes, the honor! The envy, respect and adulation of all the local surfers! Where I go, they will follow! What I want, they will provide! And what I want is Gotham City to plunder and to pillage! And that is what they will provide!"
He orders his goons to put Skip in a dresser drawer. Undine warns him that the two antique beachcombers are "fuzz". Also the Duo have returned to the area, this time in Batmobile.
Joker: "Oh, exquisite. Their tricks for tracking me down have always been clever. But this time I will outsmart them. They will no doubt come through that window. You have the poisonous sea urchin spines, boys?"

Batman: "Ready?"
Robin: "Never ready." 

So the two break in straight into a spray of spines. 
Robin: "Holy pin cushions!"
Batman: "Obviously spines from a sea animal of the echinoderm family, Robin. Quite painful. Potentially lethal. But the poison can be counteracted if we immediately soak our bodies in hot water  and Epsom salts."
Joker: "Oh! Too bad, Batman. But we've just ran out of hot water and Epsom salts"
Batman: "Then I think we've almost run out of time."

Joker ties the two to boards to process them to become...surfboards.
Robin: "Holy human surfboards!"
This definitely deserves a cliffhanger, and by cliffhanger I of course mean commercials. 

Somehow the goons oversee the Duo enclosed into two rather thick surfboards with a coat of catalyzed resin, while their boss goes to the surfing competition. They know they've done their job when the boards suddenly explode, revealing the unscathed Duo.
Batman: "Catalyzed resin is a highly combustible mixture. All I had to do is activate this portable ultraviolet Bat-Ray from my Utility Belt to set off the explosion that released us from our foam blank  coffins."
Also the explosion dissolved the spines. And somehow their poison which is probably still within the Duo's bodies. Because that's how things work here.

Anyway the Duo find some sandy footprints that lead them to the drawer where Skip is. He leaves to go find Barbara (and apologize to her for ditching her for another woman). 
Batman: "Robin, hop a cab or take the subway to Stately Wayne Manor. Take Dick Grayson's car and head for the beach. Batman, in his showdown with Joker, will need the help of Bruce Wayne's youthful ward. Plus his surfboard."

Narrator: "And so the showdown approaches as Batman and Dick Grayson rendezvous at Gotham  Point." (:32)
Dick "arrives" and leaves his surfboard outside the Hang Five, red with a white stripe. Inside Joker is regaling the people on his surfing tales. Batman challenges him for the surfing title.
Joker: "It's too late, Batman. The entries are closed."
Dick: "Correction, sir."
Joker: "Correction? You dare correct me? You immature mollusk!"
Dick: "I'm Millionaire Bruce Wayne's youthful ward, Dick Grayson. Mr. Wayne's president of the Gotham Point Surfing Association and in this case I can speak for him. I'm entering Batman in the surfing championships."
Batman: "Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies? Excuse me, citizens."

So Batman and Joker put swim trunks over their regular outfits. 

The two will also be judged on their sportsmanship. Joker: "Sportsmanship?" The two get their boards, and of course Batman has Dick's red with a white stripe a yellow surfboard with the Batlogo. Barbara finally appears in her swimsuit to watch.

And so Batman and Joker surf in front of a green-screen.

While West would write that he thought this was the lowest point of the series, to RD it's his favorite. He always watches it whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

And of course Batman still has and uses the Shark Repellant Bat-Spray.

Despite all this, the production still had two other doubles actually surfing. This is never expounded upon. 

Joker rushes out of the (relatively calm for surfing) waters first proclaiming victory, and of course the two are completely dry.
Dick: "I've tallied all the judges' points. You got one. For being the more colorful surfer. (That was not part of the judged criteria of course.) Batman got all the rest including 50 for avoiding a dangerous hazard, a shark."

Buzzy and Duke finally remember there's a moving trash can, which they should probably check. Inside is Hot Dog Harrigan. Joker uses this to bail. Batman asks Dick to find Robin "the Boy Wonder" (forgetting he's now the Teen Thunderbolt). 

Dick finds the locker room - at the same time as Barbara. They both change separately. Then they come out of their adjacent changing stalls. Somehow this confuses the two.
Batman, Buzzy, Duke, and the villains all arrive so we can have our fight. Robin does a leapfrog. Joker still has an awful looking stunt double. Batgirl continues to kick and smile, and vanishes immediately afterwards. 

Batman: "He's all yours, gentlemen."
Joker: "Gentlemen? These two hodads?"
Gordon: "Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara to you, Joker."
O'Hara: "Cowabunga. (Beat) Begorra."

Barbara reappears (perhaps to recover her swimsuit), having passed by Batgirl earlier. "Are you all right, Skip?"
Skip: "I will be as soon as they hook me and the Joker up to that Reverserometer and reverse it."
Robin: "Cowabunga."
Batman: "Begorra."

Back the Office they note Skip's returned to normal and Joker is behind bars for now. 
Batman: "I think these two crime-fighters better call it a day."
Robin: "Let's call it a week, Batman. And really get some sleep."
Batman: "Agreed, old chum."

Narrator: "But just how much rest do the Dynamic Duo have coming? For what startling new crime wave has already begun across the sea from Gotham City? Who are these two new conspirators? Batman and Robin haven't the foggiest notion, but they'll travel 3000 miles to tangle with these treacherous twigs of aristocracy and wind up on the maddest manhunt of all time in that great metropolis of the old world: Londinium. Don't become fogbound! Watch the next episode! Cheerio!"

This would be the season's only three-parter, which is so bad RD sets to review them all at once next recording. It is such a stark contrast from this story, which he considers one of his favorites. And it only needed a half-hour!  They noted everyone was having a fun, especially Hamilton and Repp's beach misadventures. To them it was a encapsulation of a typical Batman episode.

Sivi "Undine" Aberg had been in the show before: she was Mimi, one of Chandell and Harry's trio of ladies. The Bros had given her 8 Batpoles then. Vince gives this appearance 8.5. RD gives 8.75, "basically the same as a 9". Sadly there is still nothing new about her online in the year long gap of reviews. 

RD wrote about the time during Vince's WCW tenure where Bam Bam Bigelow was counted out against Brian Knobbs in a No DQ Falls Count Anywhere match. Even Vince admits it was "ridiculous".

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [9] (Cesar Romero) [9]

 

• Screen Shares: 2. RD, RD
  

Episode 102: Holy Nebuchadnezzar!: August 7, 2023

Ring Around the Riddler
September 21, 1967
"The Riddler is out to control all of prize fighting in Gotham City. He begins by kidnapping and brainwashing top prizefighters with the aid of the Siren. Then, under the guise of Mushy Nebuchadnezzar, supposed boxing champion of Southwest Asia, he challenges Batman to a fight in the ring. But when it becomes clear that the Riddler has no plans to play fair, it's up to Batgirl to help her crime fighting companions."
77 minutes

Vince can't believe how much the show has changed so suddenly. He wonders where the show could have gone. RD (aka Kid Gulliver) thinks it would still end up the same. 

Of note, RD also wrote about the episode on his other site, in connection with Adam West appearing in Memphis in his cowl and costume tracksuit to cut a promo on Jerry Lawler.

Narrator: "Night, the cloak for sinners, draws its dark folds over Gotham City, where the Riddler hides out in a little-used gymnasium."

Riddler spars with his kidnapped boxer Kid Gulliver, played by James Brolin in his third appearance (sadly not with Catwoman).
RD: "How could he go to anything bigger or better than Ring Around the Riddler?"
Riddler asks Gulliver to lose his next match at Gotham Square Garden. "I have a riddle for you. What do many boats, shovels, laundries, whistles and hot showers have in common? Steam. (To his goons) Put him in the steam room and shrink him down to size."
You can tell it is a steam room because there is a sign over a door-less frame saying so in front of a completely dark room. 

Vince, who rather enjoyed this story, thinks they used the budget on other areas. RD, who is more ambivalent, disagrees. 

Riddler's lady, Betsy "Bullface" Boldface, and with rather short 60's hair, listens to her man plan to get rid of all the other prizefighters and Batman "then control all the prizefighting in Gotham City once and for all...and everywhere else."
"When is the top of a mountain like a savings account? When it piques one's interest."

RD once worked with a wrestler named Bull Payne. At one show he had to help a rather...distracted referee during a hell turn (RD, not the referee) to award a match to "Bullpen". 

At Stately Wayne Manor, the Duo watch their study big screen in surprise as Kid Gulliver loses in the third round. (:14)
Bruce: "As chairman of Gotham City Boxing Commission, I'm gonna call an emergency meeting. It looks like undesirable elements have once again infiltrated the manly art of self-defense."
RD: "What about those poor kids in church? All they wanted was a little summer retreat!"

At the boxing box office, Riddler has a metal box with a light up question mark on the top that RD thinks may have also been used in Batman Forever. "Riddle me this! When does a painter use a trigger instead of a brush? When he's a stickup artist."
He's about to violently kiss the box office lady but seeing Barbara standing in line to buy tickets he has to run off, leaving the box behind. 

Cue spinning Batsignal, now with Batgirl.

Batgirl calls Gordon who calls Alfred who tells him that Bruce isn't home by shaking his head (over the phone). So they light the Batsignal, a surprisingly uncommon occurrence in the series as we've found out. This gets the Duo into the Office.

Vince wonders how Gordon couldn't figure out who Batgirl was.
RD: "To be fair, how many times has he talked to Bruce Wayne in person?"

Batman: " It's lucky you were in the vicinity of Gotham Square Garden."
Batgirl: "Yes. Luck is an important weapon to a woman crimefighter, Batman."
The box has been brought in for the Trio to examine with a stethoscope.
Batman: "This little blinking device is merely an added touch to pique our curiosity. Sounds like a trick of Riddler's."
The only thing inside are metal shavings and a note: "Who rules the ring? No prince, king or raja. Look for a clue on the walls of Khafajah."
Batman: "Khafajah was a famous temple in what was the land of Mesopotamia, Robin."
Gordon: "My daughter, Barbara, studied the history of Southwestern Asia in college, Batman."
Because of course history is essential for her job of...librarian.
Speaking of Barbara, Batgirl has somehow vanished without the men noticing.
Batman (lustily): "Her particular brand of vanishing cream... another weapon in her arsenal."
RD knows sudden vanishing is actually a skill of Batman more so than his protege. 

The boxing commissioner then calls to report that Kid Gulliver has vanished. This is due to him being back at the gym being shot up with "riddle juice".
Riddler: "Gentlemen, if we had our choice of laps to sit on right now, which would we choose? Kid Gulliver's temporary lapse of memory."
As the goons take him away Betsy brings a burnoose for her man. She has something for her sports show at midnight of all times (what does she think it is, SportsCenter?): "Mushy Nebuchadnezzar, unchallenged champion of Southwestern Asia's boxing world, arrived in Gotham City tonight. Ready  and willing to take on any and all comers."
Riddler: "Stroke of your usual feminine genius, Betsy."

Cut to the Duo Batclimbing up to Barbara's apartment to ask for her Southwestern Asian knowledge. (:28)
Batman: "We would've entered the building by more conventional means."
Robin: "But we didn't wanna startle the tenants." (Emphasis mine)
Barbara: "As I recall, some strange scrollwork was found on the walls of that temple indicating men used fists to fight long before the supposed beginnings of boxing in ancient Rome and Greece."
Robin: "Holy hieroglyphics. How would the Riddler know that, Batman?"
Batman: "The mind of a criminal like Riddler's is a sponge which soaks up many strange facts, Robin."
Barbara thinks Riddler is referring to the prizefighter ring.
Batman: "Perhaps Riddler himself is trying to take over."
Robin: "That punctuated pipsqueak?"

Then Gordon knocks on the door (conventionally).
Barbara: "Well, tonight seems to be my night for gentlemen callers."
The police had found Kid Gulliver on the side of the road, of course with no memory of the recent days. The Duo leave to check out the location.
Gordon then suddenly makes himself at home so he can watch Betsy's sports show - again, at midnight. (:33) He turns on the television just in time to see a masked Riddler a burnoose-d Mushy Nebuchadnezzar, unchallenged champion of Southwestern Asia's boxing world talking about eating "tamarisk berries, bulbul bird eggs and licorice, but only licorice native to my country" and "camel grass juice".
Gordon: "Enough of that. He sounds like Southwestern Asia's unchallenged nut."

Vince loves circus peanuts, to RD's disgust.

Wrote RD: "Hard cut to unneeded extreme close-up of O'Hara's face." He's stumbling around (more so than usual) by the boxing box office as the Duo try to get through to him.
Riddler: "Riddle me this, Dynamic Dullheads!  What have the following in common? Hemming, basting, purling and tacking?"
Then he vanishes.
RD is reminded of when Shaquille O'Neal was on AEW and just vanished inside an ambulance. Perhaps he was trying to evade process servers?

Batman: "Hemming and purling, basting and tacking are all words related to needlework."
Robin: "You think they gave Chief O'Hara the same injection as they gave Kid Gulliver?"
Batman: "I'll take Chief O'Hara down to headquarters. You follow in the Batmobile."
At last, Dick has a use for his new driver's license!

Meanwhile Barbara mentions to Charlie (her pet bird) how this Nebuchadnezzar's chin "didn't look much like a Southwestern Asiatic chin to this student of history. Maybe Batgirl should investigate the local source of tamarisk berries, bulbul bird eggs, licorice, and camel grass juice." 

Vince is impressed by how RD can say Nebuchadnezzar. "You don't want me saying that name."

Narrator: "So it's across her bedroom in a flash to the secret Batgirl nook, where Barbara Gordon makes her dazzling change to Batgirl! And into action on her Batgirl Cycle! And shortly, back in Riddler's little-used gymnasium..." (:39)

Betsy, giving the tamarisk berries, bulbul bird eggs, licorice, and camel grass juice, tells Riddler on Batgirl following them i.e. three steps behind her.
Riddler: "Riddle me once. What's most alluring, when it's lowest or highest? When it's in the air or in a  hole? When it's served you, yet you can't touch it?"
Batgirl: "An enchanting ace."

This gives him the space to command next week's villain, Joan Collins as the Siren, to hum a high-pitched note test of the emergency broadcast system. Unaffected, Batgirl just turns her head slightly.
Siren: "I've never tried my note two octaves above high C on a woman before."
So there is a fight, and Batgirl gets taken to the steam room. 

Regardless of the outcome, Riddler is still thrilled; "I thought my broadcast would put the Dynamic  Decimal Points on your track. But Batgirl will work just as well."
"He had also been using Siren's singing to entice men to do his dirty work. He now has three more prizefighters to be controlled, all played by actual boxers of the time. They too get the steam room treatment. Then Siren just...walks out the door. Of course Riddler watches her leave (until Betsy gets in his way so he can look at her instead).

Then all of a sudden Batgirl gets away. Off-screen.
Betsy: "Would you like a shot of camel grass juice?"
Riddler: "Oh, what's looser than a thread, a fish, flying ribbons? A woman's tongue! Possibly Batgirl's!  I've got to get on some provocative riddles if I'm going to coax Batman into the ring with Mushy Nebuchadnezzar." 

RD bullies Vince to say "Mezuchanazzer". 

Cut to next day. Gordon has Barbara in his Office to talk to since O'Hara is still recovering from being more useless than usual amnesia. (:48) He also has more riddles for her to decipher until the Duo enter, and then Riddler as Mushy calls. He means business because he is standing in front of a curtain.
Riddler: "My line is plugged into radio station GTCR. That means that all of Gotham City has heard you called - hahaha - a coward."
He hangs up, cuing an extreme close up of Batman.
Batman: "Regardless of who Mushy Nebuchadnezzar may be, or what Riddler is up to, regardless of  private or public image, one thing I cannot abide is being called a coward. You may inform all the news media that I will meet the champion of Southwestern Asia in Gotham Square Garden tonight."

Thankfully since Batman is tight with Boxing Commission chairman Bruce Wayne, it's not too hard to prepare the GSG to accommodate a boxing ring at the last minute, and by boxing ring, I mean whatever on earth this is:

 

RD: "I worked in front of some very, very, very small crowds. Very ghetto stuff. There was one show I worked at - with the good Lord above as my witness and I am not making this up - there were two paying customers. It looked more impressive than what this is." 

Vince: "And this is Gotham Square Garden no less!"

Betsy is at one side helping to commentate because of course she does. Batman is on another side with his corner man Alfred Egbert Gus. Aunt Harriet is on another side with the Undynamic Duo and Barbara. She gets her quota of lines for the whole season talking non-stop to the men. At least she seems to be holstered this time. 

Batman (to Robin): "This is ridiculous. [Riddler's] smaller than you are."
RD's extensive research found that Ward was in fact an inch taller than Gorshin.

Riddler: "Batman, what eats crow, yells uncle, and tosses sponges?"
Batman: "A loser. AND I'M NOT A LOSER, RIDDLER!" 

So they start "boxing". 

As much as RD has his doubts on the episode, he easily found this to be some of Gorshin's best acting.

To try and even the odds Riddler does a Popeye punch, in which he sprinkles metal shavings all over the Dark Knight. Betsy is suddenly underneath the ring (despite the canvas looking to be a foot off the ground), sitting cross legged and taking a smoke as she turns on a giant magnet. This of course pins Batman in one place because...

Alfred: "The drawing power of this fight seems to have concentrated beneath the ring."

Is this how (fucking) magnets work? 

Batman entangled, this allows Riddler to rope-a-dope whack-a-mole. 

Barbara quickly rushes to the "bathroom", changes, and manages to get under the ring without anyone noticing to take out the magnet. Perhaps their eyes were also magnetized.

Riddler (not noticing the situation): "Ladies and gentlemen, riddle me this. When is a prizefight like a  beautiful lady? Answer: when it's a knockout."
Only when he turns and sees Batman is free and out for revenge does he turn and jump out through the ropes. The Bros were saddened there wasn't a fight in the ring, as much as whatever the 'boxing' was.

 

RD: "It should have been a 12-parter, and it should have been 12 rounds of Frank Gorshin in a boxing ring being a clown."

Instead the fight is a short one at the lair. Even Alfred is there, and he delivers the knockout blow with a bowling pin. Because of course he has one. 

Batman: "Any final riddles, Riddler?"
Riddler: "Yes. What do you throw away that keeps returning?"
Batman: "A boomerang."
Riddler: "Correct. And I'm a boomerang. And I shall be back."

Granted it would take him 12 years, but he did come back for one more try. 

Batman deters Robin from trying to follow Batgirl, though RD knows for sure that if Batman were alone he'd definitely stalk her.
Batman: "Let us respect her disguise as she respects ours."
Robin: "I guess you're right."
Alfred: "Some camel grass juice, sir?"
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great!"
Batman: "Beware of strong stimulants, Robin."

Back at the Office, Gordon gets a visit (through Bonnie) from the Siren, real name Lorelei Circe.
Gordon (aroused): "Ms. Circe, what can I do for you?"
Siren: "It's what I can do for you, Commissioner, that really counts." (She gives a test of the EBS.)
Narrator: "Will the Siren succeed in the plan she has for Batman and Commissioner Gordon? Will her  purring parlay pay off? Watch for the stunning surprise on the next episode!"

Vince thought 35 (he guessed 34) year old Betsy was "definitely long in the tooth" and gives her 1 Batpole. RD was "very generous" for a 4. Peggy Ann Garner was more known for being a child actor, even winning an honorary Academy Award. She too passed way too young from pancreatic cancer. Upon hearing this Vince decides to give her a 2 instead. 

Vince: "I'm getting that old timers' disease, Bro."
RD: "Well maybe it's part-timers'."

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [7+1] (Frank Gorshin) [6+1]
  
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: The Siren (Joan Collins)
  

 

• Window Celebrity: 3. Jerry Quarry, Armando Ramos, Raul Rojas (the three charmed boxers)
  
• (Soon To Be) Window Celebrity: 1. James Brolin
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Exactly what you are talking about
• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1.Off-screen steam escape
  

Episode 94: Holy Savings Bonds!: June 11, 2023

53 minutes

RD hasn't changed his title from the last recording, belying they are recording this immediately after that as much as he is still Very Unlike Indian Fakirs. 

Today the Bros will look at some promotions, commercials, public service announcements and clips to see how Batman was promoted over some years until the Burton movies and The Animated Series made him the hero that they deserve (not the one that they need).

• Vince has a framed mountable replica of TV Guide with Batman on the cover.
  
• He also has a framed mountable original of the March 1966 Life Magazine - also with Batman on the cover - that he bought for $10.
• From the National Archives is a rather famous one. (:05) Batman reads a "message" from President Johnson extolling the "boys and girls" to buy savings bonds to support the Vietnam War. Five year old Vince received some bonds which were worth $32. He would have asked his mother to buy some more for him because Batman says so. RD concurs. They wonder if today's superheroes would support today's wars. 
• From 1973, (:10) Batgirl saves the Duo on behalf of the Federal Equal Pay Act (Batman: "No time for jokes Batgirl"). This is despite Craig being paid more than Ward and Batman not being played by West. This really riled up Vince. RD jokes it was his stunt double, or it should have been Alfred. Vince jokes West was not there because he did "not believe that women should be paid equally". Actually he just wanted to distance himself from the role for some reason. Vince looks up a copy on YouTube that listed West as appearing. While researching Hulk Hogan for the first WC book, RD saw an incorrect IMDB credit for Michael Nesmith's Elephant Parts that almost ended up being published. 
• West does appear in a recently discovered item on road crossing awareness (i.e. look both ways before crossing a street) - from the United Kingdom. (:17) He accentuates it by holding a child in his arms for 10 seconds. 
• West did not appear on the Superfriends, so he did not voice Batman teaching Robin how to do the Heimlich Maneuver. (:20) RD wonders how a choking victim would tell someone what to do. If they could talk, why would you need to do it anyway?
• Also animated (from 1984), the Duo have advice on safe skateboarding. (:23) This would not apply to either Bro who never skateboarded as youths. This would not help safety either, as RD would want to skate recklessly so as to be saved by the Duo. Vince was annoyed Robin was voiced by Casey Kasem for some reason. 
• Roving Vince found the time Conan O'Brien remembered the recently passed West (at ComicCon) with some of his more memorable lines from the series. (:27)
• Instead of another PSA RD found an '86 parody ad for Zayre discount stores. (:29) West actually sued over it for $9 million. He lost. Four years later Zayre merged with TJ Maxx's parent company. I don't think those two are related.
• RD found a promo which would run during the original airing (on ABC). (:33) He was particularly amused by the end clip of the Duo shaking hands on a loop. 
• He contrasts this with one during its run in syndication. (:38) The Bros reminiscence on syndication and their attempts to record them on tape. 
• RD then compares them to one on cable's Family Channel (now known as Freeform) recorded in 90's VHS fidelity. (:44) Cable's penchant to sometimes cut scenes to fit within 22 minutes on runtime made the Bros forget Catwoman's cameo during Ma Parker's story.

For his efforts Vince gives his friend applause. 

RD enjoyed writing about a shock win by Barry Horowitz.

RD thinks CM Punk's return to AEW could work if he fought everyone as soon as he arrived. However as he doesn't think that will happen he doesn't expect success. 

Then RD almost gets disconnected from the call.

• Entertain The People: 2
  
• Screen Shares: 10. RD, RD, RD, RD, RD, Vince, RD, RD, RD, RD

Episode 68: Holy British!: November 27, 2022

The Bat's Kow Tow
December 15, 1966
"Batman and Robin escape Catwoman's trap, but they are too late to stop her from stealing the voices of Chad and Jeremy, the British singing duo. Catwoman demands an 8 million pound ransom for their voices, or else she will begin silencing the entire world. Things look grim when the British refuse to pay. However, a background noise in a phone call tips the Dynamic Duo off to Catwoman's hideout and the location of her voice-restoring formula."
75 minutes

RD: One of Those Blighters. Cor Blimey to you too.

Vince: "I was thinking about you this weekend."
RD: "That seems random."

Before Vince can ask his "weird bird" friend what's on his mind he finds out he's live again. One of the attendees remembers B.M. Punk. Vince: "Interesting." He then starts getting donations. He asks for the URL to send to RD to share for some reason. RD agrees to take the blame for any complaints from Jeff Lane. Vince decides to keep things running for now since they have more than the regular 40 Watchers for their progrem.

Vince's actual query (:07) is about former Paige Soraya on AEW appearing on one show, then appearing on the next one immediately after discussing what she just did. This confuses him. RD just considers it regular behind the scenes stuff due to giving their wrestlers more freedom to act than the competition (TNA?).

Vince correctly guesses that the episode originally aired on the deathday of Walt Disney. RD grants him leave to self-applaud. (:13)

Anyway, the Dynamic Duo are in danger of having scrambled eggs for brains in the physically-impossible echo chamber. Batman shows the predicament he is in by crossing his eyes for a brief moment, then asking Robin to find the vibration frequency that will shatter the glass. He then instantly determines it is "F Sharp above High C" and starts humming very out of tune (according to RD). This works, allowing the Duo to untie themselves. 

Robin: "I think I'll be hard of hearing for a while."
Batman: "WHAT?"
Robin: "I think I'm gonna be a little hard of hearing for a while."
Batman: "YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER ROBIN! I THINK I'LL BE A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING FOR A WHILE!"

They secure Benton again, and Batman tells Robin to tell O'Hara to get this "bounder".
Batman: "All right, Belgoody, tell me everything."
Benton: "Well, I was born in Youngstown of poor but honest parents - "
Batman: "Come off it, Bellgoody, you're pulling my boot!"
For some reason the two are reminded of The Jerk (Navin R. Johnson), who was "born a poor black child" played by Steve Martin.
Benton tells Batman that Catwoman is already going to get Chad and Jeremy's voices. The Duo tie his arms behind him to a broom. 

They then speed off to the Town Hall as the Narrator sounds jubilant for a song by "the music world's Dynamic Duo". (:29) Vince goes to get his Chad and Jeremy Greatest Hits record. RD trash talks him to the live audience. 

Catwoman and goons appear wearing cat's eyes night-vision goggles and quickly steal the duo's voices. The Dynamic Duo appear but Eenie turns off the lights, covering the group's escape. Batman has to light a very strong match from his Batmatchbook so that he and Robin can save the 20 or so scared people at the show.
Batman: "Citizens! Citizens! [Waves hand] Hi kids!" 

The next morning on The Allen Stevens Show (who can only be played by the incomparable Steve Allen) (:33) Batman asks the audience to have faith in the law to set things right.
Allen: "I understand that millions of the world's teenagers are in virtual mourning since last night's tragedy."
Batman: "On the plus side, millions of parents are delighted."
Robin: "Speaking as an average, ordinary, red-blooded, typical American teenager, I think this is one of the worst things that could have happened!"

Catwoman and goons then appear with "sonic beam blast guns" to threaten the audience while still attracted to Batman and his "baby blue eyes".  She then interrupts Allen's attempt at promotional consideration by demanding a ransom of 8 million pounds "of European currency", or over 22 million dollars (again in 1966). 

Catwoman: "Chad and Jeremy pay so much income tax to their native land that if it were to stop, the whole empire might crumble and the British Pound would be deflated!" 
Batman: "The entire economic structure of the whole world would collapse! How dastardly! It's not as if they have other more popular things that can take their place, like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Who, the Animals, James Bond, Mary Poppins, Lawrence of Arabia..."

Catwoman demands her payment of "the scratch" by the next day or she will silence the whole world, then silences Allen just because before throwing a sneeze bomb to cover her escape. 

One attendee thinks it is the most pointless thing he's seen. RD: "That's what we're here for." 

Batman then meets Sir Sterling Habits, the British Council General of Gotham City, who's so happy to meet him he loses his monocle. (:42)
Batman: "You're aware of the serious tragedy affecting your countries most popular export?"
Habits: "Have we stopped making those small sports cars?"
Robin: "We're referring to Chad and Jeremy."
Habits: "Oh yes, those blighters. Can't understand a word they say."
Suddenly "Parliament" calls, like the whole governmental body, and Sterling looks pleased as the Duo look on in annoyance. (He's suppousedly talking one-to-one to then Prime Minister Harold Wilson, which is admittedly a name more American than British.) Of course the government won't pay a single pence/shilling.
His butler, Rhett, announces that he don't give a damn there is a crowd outside for the Dynamic Duo. Sadly they don't have time for any meet and greets so they have to wall climb down. 

This gives an appearance of a window celebrity in the original sense of the term, in this case Hawaiian singer Don Ho.Vince tries singing Tiny Bubbles as an example of his work and so he can self-applaud again.
Don Ho: "It's gotten me as far as your Batropes have gotten you. I think I'll introduce Batropes in Hawaii. Pick coconuts more easy that way."
Batman: "I'd like to sit here and chat with you all day, Don, but..."
Robin: "The surf's coming up and we gotta catch a big one."

Gordon is still silent in his office as O'Hara remains stumped. "She has us licked!" Batman is still hopeful even as O'Hara whines and moans. However he did record the previous day's conversation where his boss got silenced.
Batman: "It's no wonder you've risen to the top of your department O'Hara."

He decides to use the Batsound Analyzer in the Batcave for the sake of the whole world. As he tells a skeptical Robin with his renowned Batlogic: "If we can't talk, there'd be no telephones. You see, there are millions of people who use telephones in business every day. Now they'd have to meet their clients face to face. That would cause enormous traffic problems. Further, all the people who work for the phone company would be out of jobs. There'd be no radio. Television and movies would go silent. That is a whole heaping helping of ramifications."
Robin: "You're so brilliant Batman."

The Analyzer detects three hair dryers, but there are over 2000 hair salons in the City. Wondering if the silence fades after a while, he sends Robin as Dick upstairs to see Chad and Jeremy, who are also with Aunt Harriet and Alfred who have attempted with their own remedies. 

The saddened two still indicate they want their hair fixed at Mr. Oceanbring's hairstylist hands. Alfred: "Every rock and roll star goes to have his hair quaffed by this man." And he does this with just three hair dryers! Dick immediately runs out, leaving Harriet confused. Neither Bro checked if she was wearing an undergarment. 

Of course Catwoman is at the salon contemplating her schemes. Oceanbring is actually cameoed by Jay Sebring, a legendary pioneer in men's hairstyling. He was also rather morbidly involved in a break-in including his ex-fiance Sharon Tate, where a group of wayward souls affiliated with Charles Manson were halted in their plans by the timely intervention of an aging TV actor and his stunt double.

Her goons wonder why she doesn't just kill the Duo, but she just can't. Batman saved her life once after all. (She doesn't care about Robin of course.) She also has the silence antidote of sweet basil, garlic, salt, and goat's milk "in the right proportions."

Vince does not do Italian stuffing for Thanksgiving. 

Enter the Duo.
Catwoman: "Batman, why for art thou doing this to me?"
Batman: "It's my job, Catwoman."
Catwoman: "We could make such beautiful music together."
Robin: "You'll play a different tune when we're through with you! And all the notes will be sour!"
Catwoman: "Party pooper. Teenagers should be seen and not heard!"

Cue fight, although she wants Batman to not be beaten too much; it may damage his looks. Robin throws a goon into a bouffant hair dryer burning his face, as one does. Oceanbring troubles himself with trying to catch all the antiques around as they are thrown about - then accidentally drops one once the battle is over. Catwoman runs off, so Batman leaves his ward to secure the place while he goes after her. 

Cue the Dark Knight exaggeratedly running, leading him into an alleyway.
Catwoman jumps off a ladder onto his back and aims her gun at him: "I can slice you like a hot knife through high-priced spread. Should I steal your voice or end your life?"
Batman: "Whichever you decide I'm sure it will be the wrong choice."
Catwoman: "You have a pretty sharp tongue for a man about to say goodbye to the world! Beg! Beg for your mortal existence!"
Batman: "I'd rather die than beg for such a small favor as my life."
Of course she can't go through with it: "Can't you see how I feel about you Batman? I can't kill you. You're the only man I ever - "
Of course even if she did try to kill him he would have deflected the shot anyway. He still praises her scheme though.
She then tells him the antidote by tightly whispering in his ear. "You see, my voice eraser electronically loosened their vocal chords and - you just spray it. And tighten them right back up. ... Batman? When I get out of jail, will you take me on a date?"
He will have to think on that.
Catwoman: "If I were to kiss you, would you think I was a... bad girl?"
Batman: "No, of course not, Catwoman. Kissing is one of the most natural things in the world. Some people kiss almost every day, and - I'm told..."

Of course before they can actually kiss (or whatever it was in the 60's), Robin the Boy Blunder comes along to Holy Cock Block. Batman asks for a rain check (which would take 50 years). RD considers it payment for when Dick was also about to kiss (a girl) were it not for Bruce's summons. But the two walk off hand in hand. Batman and Catwoman I mean.
Robin (to the camera): "Holy Mush!" 

The Musical Duo finally get to perform. Somehow Gordon is in the balcony with the Wayne Manorhold.
Alfred: "They certainly do sway, don't they?"
Harriet: "Very hep, Alfred."
Dick: "It's 'hip', Aunt Harriet, they changed it."
Gordon is around because of his grandchildren, despite later Barbara being his only descendant.
Bruce: "Every era has its own music Commissioner, its own art, its own manner of speech."
Harriet: "The essence of progress is change."
Gordon: "It's a point well taken, Mrs. Cooper. But there's only one pair in the public eye which I pray will never suffer the stigma of antiquity - it's Batman and Robin!" 

RD thought Eenie was pretty and curvy for 7.5 Batpoles. Vince gives her 7, although she wasn't in the story much. RD found a MP3 of actor Sharyn Wynters singing a very soothing tune. She also transitioned to alternative and naturopathic health over 40 years ago.

Like myself the Bros loved the story. Vince wants to split the donated amount with RD. One of the donations was in Saudi Arabian Riyals. (It wasn't mine either.) 

The Arcade is getting a (Sean Connery) James Bond pinball machine, one of 50 currently sold (out of a 1,000).

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman [4] (Julie Newmar) [3]

• Window Celebrity: 5. Chad and Jeremy, Joe Flynn, Steve Allen, Don Ho, Jay Sebring
  
• Entertain The People: 1
  

Episode 65: Holy Jellyfish!: November 6, 2022

The Penguin's Nest
December 7, 1966
"Facing the strange situation of the Penguin determined to be arrested, Batman must figure out why."
59 minutes

RD: Won't Pay $100 Cover Charge. He complains on having to be on time unlike Blade Vince. However he has an actual excuse of being on GAW (the show run by Mickie James, Lisa Marie "Victoria" Varon, and "So Cal" Valerie Wyndham). He still remembers Mickie's immense kindness once when he was unable to work with her and Nick Aldis due to his mother's condition. RD still has to meet her for Blade's sake, but Lisa Marie and Valerie were some of the nicest folks he had met.

Vince also takes the moment to remark on new regime WWE still doing pretty badly with ratings, even on Halloween. "Bro, kids are not trick or treating at 8 o'clock at night, bro." They shouldn't anyway, it's a school night. 

The episode aired on the birthdate of C. Thomas "Soul Man" Howell. 

"An old super crooked fiend" (according to the Narrator) is opening "The Penguin's Nest" restaurant on top of a skyscraper with a very bad looking sign. (He couldn't afford to rehire the artist who drew the Vote For Pengy posters?) Another better looking sign states there is a $100 cover charge, "only rich people and friends admitted". I don't remember the last time I ever paid a cover charge. Vince somehow remembers a $5 charge for the disco.

Among those already seated at a table with the Penguin are the Disguised Duo (Bruce & Dick), the Undynamic Duo, and Aunt Harriet.
Bruce: "To think you've mastered the art of haute cuisine in the kitchens of the Gotham City State Penitentiary, it certainly proves that almost nothing is impossible."
However he notes the odd way they have to write down their order and hand it off to his goon as a maître d' (literally named Matey Dee) is "fishy, not efficient".
Penguin tries to ignore it to flirt with Aunt Harriet while stealing her diamond bracelet, only to be caught by - O'Hara??? Broken clocks I suppose.
Penguin: "I've been caught with my feathers down."
A suspicious Bruce suggests looking further into this as with Batman, but Penguin just says to take him to prison anyway.
Gordon: "When this pompous waddling master of foul play asks to be arrested? Thanks for the advice Bruce, I'll call Batman at once."
Cue Gordon going to a phone booth. Cue Bruce going to the phone booth next to him to get Alfred to connect them. Gordon is so happy he jumps out of his booth with joy: "We're in luck, Batman's home."

Vince only visited the UK after the bulk of his career. The public garbage cans have small openings to prevent bomb drops...and garbage. 

Batman says he may be late in arriving. Gordon: "I'll wait however long I need to, Batman!" Harriet wants to go back home so Bruce and Dick take her home and go down the Batpoles.

Penguin is still at the restaurant when the Dynamic Duo "arrive": "Just when I learned to fly straight, I destroyed my life again! That's the way the iceberg crumbles." (:19)

Batman asks the Undynamic Duo how the restaurant is doing. Business is great, with an average pre-drinks tab of $87 alongside the $100 cover charge (which today would both equal $1,639.50. Holy Fees!). Neither Bro would spend more than $100 current dollars. Vince would even only allow his wife to drink water (the high costs coming from all the condiments she probably uses). 

Batman clears the place of the goons: besides Matey Dee, previously Warden Crichton's personal valet, there's Cordy Blue as the chef, formerly "chief hash slinger at the state pen", and "bootlegger of untaxed cigars" Chickadee as hat check.

Gordon: "You make something of this enigma, Batman?"
Batman: "It sticks out like Penguin's nose."

Batman asks the "policemen" to forgive Penguin for "the impulsive theft of that bauble".
Penguin: "Great quivering jellyfish!"
He then throws a pie at Gordon. O'Hara goes to arrest him.
Batman: "No, Chief, no. He was merely baiting us. Don't swallow."
Robin: "Have a heart, Chief, Penguin didn't mean any harm."
Gordon: (Trying to say "Didn't mean any harm?") "Blah blah blah blah blah?"
O'Hara: "Hitting a police commissioner in the puss with a pie?"
Batman: "No, he was simply overwrought with astonishment. Anyone can make the same mistake."
Gordon: "Anything you say Batmannnnn!"
Batman offers a cup of warm cocoa.
Penguin: "Ah! Fah! Phooey! Fudgey!"
O'Hara: "I'd like to grab that bird by the neck! I'd like to pluck him! I'd like to prod him all the way to the pen with a pointed stick and toss the rest of this pie in after him!"
The Duo, seeing there's no way to do things properly with these incompetents, decide to leave to do a wall climb to check out the kitchen.

The kitchen is in fact the lair, where Chickadee tries to soothe her "Penguin poopsie: don't lose your cool."
Penguin: "I'm the Penguin, how can I lose my cool?"
He needs to go to prison because for some reason he can 'process' all the hand written orders by the clientele. The goons suggest other crimes to attempt.
Penguin: "Fah! That's fiddlesticks! If a bird can't get arrested by potting a police commissioner with a pie, what chance with those piddling ploys?"
Then his Batdetector on his umbrella flashes: "we have bats in this belfry!"

Actually the bats are outside the belfry and slowly ascending. (:30)
Robin: "It's sure a shame, Batman. A restaurant with such terrific chow turning out to be a mere front for some criminal scheme."
Batman: "Look at it this way, Robin: that hundred dollar cover charge is pretty stiff. Penguin's terrific chow is hardly within the budget of the average worker."
Robin: "Gosh, yes, you're right Batman. All the needy people in the world. The hungry children..."
Batman: "Good thinking, Robin."

As they climb a harpsichord plays a melody frequently heard on The Addams Family, before Lurch appears out the window.
Lurch: "Ohhhhh. It's youuuu, Batman... gave me quite a start."
Batman: "Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord."
Unfortunately he does not inform him that he missed his employer's appearance in town some days prior.

Vince has plans and tactics for how to fight off each scary movie horror and villain. This includes Michael Myers' harpsichord play his theme when he's around, tipping off potential victims. He then forgets the name of "Austin Austin", giving RD a big chuckle.   

The Duo then see Penguin shoot Mr. Blue for supposedly being a traitor, but upon breaking in to arrest him find it's just a blank. Batman: "I observed the recoil of that umbrella gun. Obviously its angular momentum was inadequate for the mass of a real bullet." 

But they decide to humor the Penguin and take him to the city jail: "Petty crooks only!"
Penguin: "I'll sue you, you pioutest upstarts! You have absolutely no right to do this to me! How dare you confine a supercriminal of my ilk in this petty city jail all night, this tawdry penny ante pokey on a charge of simulated murder!"
Batman tells him he's actually charged for the forbidden discharge of umbrella guns in the kitchen of a licensed restaurant.
Robin: "Yeah, call your lawyer! Have him look it up!"
Batman: "Good day Penguin. Reflect on your petty sins, you bush league bird!"
RD honestly thought Robin gave the bird the bird.

In the Batcave the Duo look up Penguin's "permanently reserved cell" which is right next to that of "Ballpoint Baxter, the ugly master of forgery." (:41) This proves Batman's theory that Penguin would have had Baxter use the handwriting on the orders to forge checks. RD has Vince please to explain checks. But then how would they get the blank checks? They call up Warden Crichton on a clearly labelled phone next to another sign for an "Entrance to Subterranean Grotto." Vince thinks it's like the Playboy Mansion if it had a Batlabel printing press. 

Crichton is woken up from sleeping during his working day (story of my life) with a sleeping mask and cap. Of course inmates can get blank checks from the print shop, why do you ask? It's all in rehabilitating them to responsibly use personal finances and reintegrate themselves back into society.
Cue Batman's disgusted look on his face: "Ah, another of your advanced penological techniques...I've always had boundless admiration for your efforts, Warden. But sometimes...I just don't know."

Vince would sometimes write with (other) Vince in what would very much be his dining room where he took power naps for 20 minutes at a time.

The Narrator reminds us he's still here as the Duo drive from the Batcave to the prison. The Penguin managed to smuggle a tiny Penguin radio in with him, which he uses for his schemes. He thus calls his goons who come to the city jail backdoor: "No unauthorized exit!" They ask the gatekeeping Sergeant O'Leary if they can bring him a birthday cake. O'Leary takes out his metal detector to check for inner surprises and immediately gets shocked.
Matey Dee: "Wow! This high voltage battery pie sure worked the way the Penguin said it would!" 

However the Duo appear just as the goons break their boss free.
Batman: "The best-laid plans of birds and men gang aft a-gley."
At least he said it the proper gang aft way. 50% is progress, yes?
Chickadee then shoots at Batman, who unlike Robin has the scriptwriter's luck to not get hit: "You deluded murderous girl."
Cue fight, during which Robin pulls on Penguin's beak. "Stand still you red breasted road runner!" he still manages to squawk out.
O'Hara runs in just to trip and thus get Chickadee to capture him. The Duo thus have to let them go.

Penguin then calls Gordon in his office to tell him and the Duo that O'Hara is being held in the swimming pool of an abandoned rec center.  
Batman: "Do you promise a fair duel? Robin and I against your mangy mob?"

Cut to someone's backyard swimming pool with O'Hara in a very tiny box like he's secretly a contortionist or something. "Let me out of this infernal hamper you devils! What's the idea?" he shouts muffled. They also plan to shoot the Duo into the pool and use their pool electrifier. 

Narrator: "Crossfire! An electrocution looks like the end! Have our heroes ever been in a nastier spot?"
RD: "...yes?"

RD will be playing pinball as part of the Christmas parade through Shelbyville.

Recent Headlie: "“Unemployed Vince McMahon” Costume Actually Vince McMahon".

• Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [6] (Burgess Meredith) [6]

• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Which
• URLs not taken: 1. VinceRussoattheDisco.com
• Window Celebrity: 1. Ted Cassidy
  

Special Round - Man Called Cheatum: August 4, 2022

40 minutes

"I <3 Cheatum" (don't we all) is giddy in introducing Vince to some of WCW's finest theatrical productions featuring an evil one-eyed midget. Vince was at one of the matches (at Halloween Havoc 1992) but didn't remember watching the actual video or any material leading up to them. 

• :03 First Medusa walks through a very dark set to enter a bar with a dry ice floor to Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (with Cheatum). Cue Jake Roberts arching his eyebrows.
• In enters the man they call Sting. Vince thought it was Jeff Jarrett. 
• He and Roberts trade words as the bar patrons look back and forth like a tennis match.
  
• Vince: "This acting leaves a lot to be desired."
• Sting: "You think I'm afraid of some wheel?"
• He spins the wheel, then has it as a backdrop as he and Jake stand still and face to face, allowing the production "crew" to draw electrical wires/lightning bolts/laser beams from their eyes before an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
• The reel reminds you that Halloween Havoc 1992 will be on Sunday October 25th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
  
• Of course Vince thinks it's tremendous, but it wouldn't have caused him to go to the match just by itself.
• Vince does not know how to mute his Discord notification alerts. (For the record, it's in User Settings - Notifications.)
  
• :10 Next is the White Castle of Fear (not sliders). Sting gets into a tiny helicopter. While over stock footage of the Rocky Mountains he has visions of Big Van Vader standing in front of a wind machine blowing snow from the side. 
• Sting: "Could this be some sort of trap?"
• He checks the rolled up parchment that Vader wrote his invitation on for some reason. RD: "I really need one of those on the wall."
• Vince: "These are gems, bro!"
• Sting enters an extravagant set where people loaf around eating amidst dry ice fog.
• Vader breaks a mirror by shouting and shadow boxing at it, then enters with a laughing Harley Race to trade their own words while Cheatum keeps asking to Play the Game Play the Game.
• The two combatants then tug of war with a strap (is that the Game to Play?) over an open fire. The strap dramatically snaps as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
  
• The reel reminds you that Superbrawl III will be on Sunday February 21st and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
• Vince can't believe he never learned or was clued in about them during his tenure in the company.
• :16 Finally there is the one for Beach Blast 1993 on WCW Saturday Night (June 19th), the piece that made RD fully want to start WrestleCrap, for good or bad. Nominally it's to be for a tag team match of Sting and Davey Boy Smith vs. "The Masters of the Powerbomb" Vader and Sid Vicious (with Race and Colonel Robert Parker).
• "Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico" Sid stands confused with the rest of the heel contingent. They point to an "island" where Sting and Smith are playing beach volleyball with some random people (or "orphans" as they call them for some reason).
• Sting expresses his joy in scoring a point by letting out a tiny "woooo." I think Ric Flair would have a word or two on that.
  
• The heels all laugh manically as they discuss their plans.
• Cue Cheatum snorkeling right next to the beach with a shark fin and carrying a water cooler as someone attempts the expected music on a synthesizer: "My name is JAWS! Now you girls get on outta here!" 
• He then puts an alarm clock "bomb" on a speedboat.
• The "orphans" say some lines woodenly as the heels arrive on one of those amphibious landing craft.
• Sid shows off the flip-flops he's wearing with the rest of his wrestling outfit.
• Cue some more howlers from the wrestlers as an attempt at a western showdown is played on the synthesizer. When they get up close another randomly strums on a guitar. 
• Parker offers the faces "two tickets to the retirement haven of your choice". Sting considers it as he repeats the stats of their opponents. 
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" looking sad.
• The faces decide to go on with the match anyway.
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay".
• The heels make more threats and laughter. 
• The faces decide to continue their volleyball anyway.
• The two girls tell Sting of "a funny guy hanging around the boat". Then they tell Smith of "a guy hanging around the boat going click-click-click."
• Smith rushes to the speedboat and pushes the two off just as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
• Cue "orphans" looking sad.
• The two then spring up from the water arms raised.
• Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay". Again.
• The reel reminds you that Beach Blast will be on Sunday July 18th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
• Vince thought it was "very early 90-ish" but thought if it was the work of Bischoff and actual writers at Turner, then it was ahead of his time. RD can agree although he's not sure if he would include Cheatum or such heel plans. Vince would reenact it though, including with Cheatum.
• :30 In turn Vince has Ultimate Warrior being...selectively edited during a shoot interview. It's still more legible than any public promo or speech. Vince would play it before every creative meeting as an energizing icebreaker (outside WWF). 
• Vince loved the old Mr. Fuji and Muraco sketches, especially Fuji Vice. 
• RD thinks AEW's reels and skits are greatly influenced from such vignettes, even if sometimes in parody (the sincerest form of flattery). (:35) The originals were campy but unintentionally went to downright hilarity. Vince is of course reminded of Batman. (Holy Shark Fin!)
  
• RD still has yet to find Cheatum in any way shape or form, serious or otherwise. 
• Vince plans to have some of the clips on a new show he will do with Disco Inferno.
  
• Next up for Vince: AWA's private show for Kellogg's.
  

Episode 49: Holy Batburgers!: July 17, 2022

The Clock King's Crazy Crimes
October 12, 1966
"After a robbery aided by a rigged timepiece, Batman and Robin deduce the Clock King must be in Gotham City. Disguised as a pop art expert, the villain brings his latest masterpiece to the Parkhurst Gallery. But everyone is surprised when the sculpture turns out to be more than just a piece of art, and the Clock King makes off with a valuable time-related painting. Batman and Robin follow a clue to the villain's hideout, unaware that a trap awaits them."
70 minutes

According to Vince and his applause soundbite "this handsome young man" is "The Greek word for RD is "RD"". 

He also forgot to make their conversation private so fuck it, we'll do it live. He doesn't want to make this a regular thing as it would take away from subscriptions. He could go on a full streaming service like Twitch and do streams for paid subscribers only if he wanted (and he can figure out how to do so without having to make fun of his colleague Jeff Lane). One of the viewers is Taeler Hendrix, who also has her own show on Channel Attitude. Vince could totally see her as Poison Ivy. 

At Harry Hummert's jewelry store, Harry and a customer are mesmerized by an antique clock on display instead of for sale. (:08) The clock has a small camera inside it for Clock King, with his lady Millie Second, to watch and relay to his goons the "all wound up" Second Hands. RD incites Vince by intentionally saying her name wrong. Vince responds by having viewer Kevin Schiller of Georgia run in. Now let's see if he makes him WCW world champion.

The clock goes off at the wrong time, then gasses the two occupants (with a third) as they come to check on it. The goons thus take the opportunity to rob the place.

In Gordon's office, he hardly wastes any time and admits "we're in over our heads." Vince wonders if Matt Morgan is among the peanut gallery. 

Alfred does another exasperated eye roll as he answers the phone while Bruce and Dick play boring regular 2D chess. Vince was unsure if Aunt Harriet was wearing a bra this time but guessed yes: "we're not the ones not wearing the bra." She apologizes for not being too attentive and Bruce just pats her on the shoulder in acceptance. He then ignores Alfred as Dick has put him in check, so he shouts "BATPHONE!!!" while Aunt Harriet is within earshot. For once the two will not immediately go to police HQ as they "can't waste time", and the episode immediately cuts to King's lair.

There King surveys all his stolen loot and (also for once) compliments his goons for their work while Millie is all over him and his colored eyebrows.  RD finds she closely resembles Katy Perry. Vince wonders if she's a time traveler. One viewer thinks she looks like (blonde) Elizabeth Montgomery and Jenny McCarthy for some reason. Vince points out viewer Ivana Tinkle's nose. (:31) He gives Millie 8.5 Batpoles for her strength and confidence. Another viewer gives her 8.6.

Anyway all the clocks go off at once, deafening the goons as King revels in their sound.

Smash cut to the Duo investigating the jewelry store. Harry has little knowledge on the clock.

Smash cut to the lair as King consults his "crimetable" which of course includes Bruce Wayne. He threatens Batman and the "Boy Blunder - hahaha!" by slamming down an hour hand on his desk. 

Cut to the Parkhurst Gallery preparing for their first pop art exhibition as Batman learns that one particular clock was brought in by a Mr. Chronos. Robin: "The Greek word for time!" Cue Mr. Parkhurst's amazement as if they found out a mystery of life. Batman: "You haven't been trained in deduction like we have."

A TV crew is already there reporting on the art, preferring the classical over the popular. Enter a disguised King himself disgusted over an "inferior!" parody of Dali's The Persistence of Memory with the Duo drawn in it (a Batparody?). Knowing his antics, commercialism, and spotlight hogging, I would not be surprised if he himself painted that just because for the show (even if uncredited). He probably didn't appear on the show itself because Batman would arrest him on the spot for saying that he was drugs. 

Anyway King calls himself Progress Pigment, and he is here to submit some random assortment of items named Time Out of Joint as a diversion while it cuts a hole in the wall. 

(Also Jeff Lane cut Vince's live feed for the time being for some reason.)

Meanwhile the Duo check the Dunbar Diner Drive-In to be gawked at by an old couple gushing all over Robin, as they follow a lead of King's earlier woman Thelma Timepiece. A former co-worker waiter tells them she moved back to the Midwest (a reference to Payton Place) before she gushes all over Batman.

Robin: "I am a little hungry."
Batman: "Of course, Robin. Even crimefighters must eat. And especially you, you're a growing boy and you need your nutrition."

Robin goes for his order but is intercepted by the waiter who offers him to try out their newest meal: the Batburger. "Trouble stealing your appetite? Arrest it with our new Batburger." A touched Batman orders two with two double glasses of orangeade. 

As they eat in the Batmobile they watch the news of King and his piece. (:50) Batman wishes for a closer look and somehow the news crew there is able to oblige him. Batman still wants to make sure it is in fact King. (After all, Clark Kent has his obscuring glasses.) So they get the Bat Photo Scope to print out a photo, so Batman can use a blue colored pencil from a compartment next to the Bat Super Rocket switch. Sure enough, his expert drawing removes all doubt from his mind (about his artistic skills). Robin: "Holy masquerade!" 

King lets loose a "supersonic" smoke detector sound from his machine to knock out everyone as he makes a hole to his storeroom of items. They exit with their items just as the Duo pull up.
Batman: "Four against two. I'd say the odds are in our favor Robin!"
Cue a weak fight where the participants knock down the art more than each other. King triggers the Counterattack Activator from his dropped watch to ensnare the Duo in slinkies "coils of time" so that they can escape.

The Duo use the Bat Chemical Analyzer in the Batcave on the watch to lead them through technobabble to Tick Tock Synthetic Rubies Incorporated. From the Batcave! Vince has Kevin pop on to say hello.

As the Duo do their climb Sammy Davis Jr. pops out of the window. (:57) He invites them to join his rehearsal ("Hey, you guys come and catch my act some time! I dig yours!") but sadly they are too busy. Batman: "Our pursuit of justice allows us few diversions." Oddly he does not then suggest sending an invitation to assumed patron of the arts Bruce Wayne.

Inside the Duo then fall pray to King's trapdoor of clock oil and then get gassed, and end up in a slowly filling giant hourglass.
Batman: "You grinning devil!"
King: "Some people kill time. But this time, time is going to kill you!"

Narrator: "Is this the zero hour for the Dynamic Duo? Are the sands of time really running out for Batman and Robin? At long last have they met a gritty, granulated, inglorious fate? Tune in tomorrow! Same bat-time! Same bat-channel!" 

2013's Batman '66 comic would give King the real name of Morris Tetch, brother of Jervis "Mad Hatter" Tetch. Vince guesses correctly on this based on their eyebrows. 

RD has to make sure from Vince that he didn't actually tell Goldberg to try and break through a car window with his bare fist and seriously injure himself. (:64) He did the right thing and spent that night by his hospital bedside.

• Special Guest Villain: The Clock King (Walter Slezak)
  

• Screen Captures: 4. RD, RD, RD, RD
• Window Celebrity: 1. Sammy Davis Jr.
  

Episode 24: Holy Rack!: January 16, 2022

Give 'Em the Axe
March 31, 1966
"Taking advantage of the Riddler's mistaken belief that they were killed escaping his deathtrap, the Dynamic Duo must stop the villain from stealing a treasure of Incan jewels that would mean destroying an archaeological treasure as well."
80 minutes

"RD is Hualpo Cuisi's Long Lost Bro" perhaps through Uncle Burt. He's happy because Stern Pinball has announced a Rush pinball table, which looks as beautiful as a Red Barchetta. (If I had to buy a Stern it would be between that and their Iron Maiden, even if it has yet to include a Pinball Eddie.) While he prefers heavier musical fare, he at first thought the playfield artwork of the trio made them look like Spinal Tap. (If that was the case, wouldn't it then be actual Stonehenge size?) His observation on Twitter caught the attention of Harry Shearer. Vince gives him boos for not then trying to get him on their video progrem.

RD could regale Vince for hours with his pinball knowledge, including former challenger Williams thinking a table based on Star Wars Episode I would be a best-seller. (I wonder if Blade ever played it.)

RD is wearing a Japanese Batman movie shirt. He knows the word Ichiban means 'number one' from his time watching WWF and their commercials for Ichiban Confections ("First in smiles!").

Vince worked in the same ring with Hulk Hogan and never had any real trouble with him, hair issues notwithstanding, yet he wonders why he keeps getting into trouble online. (:15) RD leaves it to habitual human nature if not just apathy. He compares him to WWE Hall of Famer Pete Rose ruining his chances by not apologizing when he should have. And also Paul Bunyan.

SPEAKING OF Paul Bunyan, the Narrator summarizes the previous day's Bat-adventure. (:24) Vince somehow still remembers the original showings of Wednesday and Thursday at 7:30. The Bros trade applause. RD does not remember Riddler having to wear a girdle. "RD Needs A Girdle More Than Frank Gorshin", he wanted to title himself but couldn't due to lack of space. Vince thinks it's a back brace to support his raucous laughter. 

Batman: "Remember Riddler, you can't buy friends with money."
Riddler: "With money, who needs friends?"

Moth gives theatrical coughs so she and Riddler have to vacate the room to watch through their "candlescope" periscope. They leave Batman to sweat his armpits in the heat. He guesses that some listed ingredients of sodium dichromate and potassium ferrocyanide are to create candle wicks that are "highly explosive when exposed to heat". RD wonders what used an explosive candle would be. In this case Batman twists slightly so his "highly polished" belt buckle can reflect sunlight into the chemicals to cause an explosion and free them, rather than just killing them, though it does knock them out. 

Riddler sees bodies and shows his happiness through emotional whisper without actually checking on their status in person. He then calls Gordon to gloat and give a riddle before leaving for the Blue Van: "A crime is no fun without riddles. I'll have you know that's the main reason I took up this crime game." The Duo wait for him to leave before taking back the Batmobile to call Gordon that they're feeling better. RD wonders how they would fix whatever damage Riddler caused. 

Gordon: "Who is this?"
Batman: "Why? This is Batman! Your Caped Crusader!"

They figure out Riddler is going after an nonoperational lion fountain. The Bros find it confusing. 

At the Gotham City Museum (:46) the Riddler and his goons determine their Incan treasure is in the sarcophagus of emperor Hualpo Cuisi. Goon: "Boss, I don't even know what an esophagus is." Riddler and Moth then find themselves in a basement of medieval torture devices (SPEAKING OF Iron Maiden). The Duo park in a no-parking spot and determine that the sarcophagus and treasure must be kept air-tight or it will disintegrate. Billionaire Batman wonders why he would do this for a "mere" million dollars.

As the door is locked and Batman and his stunt double can't fit into a third-floor hole (or just break in lawfully), Robin volunteers to enter. Vince wonders why he was straining to walk up the wall by himself. RD: "Maybe he feels more empowered when Batman's in the rear." 

Robin immediately loses a fight, and is brought before the Riddler. He orders the goons to put the "pernicious pipsqueak" on a rack. Batman calls Gordon for backup before he deploys the Bat-ram barstool to break down an easily opened door.

Finding the sarcophagus Riddler notably pants as he prepares the wax, only to be stopped by a Bat-shadow.
Riddler: "You lied to me, Boy Wonder!"
Batman: "A little white lie is excusable when dealing with the likes of you, you black-hearted scoundrel!"
Cue another fight, though it's so easily fought that West actually involves himself in it. To cover them Riddler picks up a sword and makes his own "SWOOSH!" cut-ins by his swinging. This does not stop the Dark Knight who puts him on the spinning wheel of death. Riddler: "Ow! Oh! Ow! Batman! That smarts!" He goes to relieve Robin. "One of Aunt Harriet's good nourishing meals will set everything right again," he declares loudly. 

As O'Hara arrives (late, most likely to the bar; he lies by saying they accidentally went to the wax museum) Riddler's stunt double is clearly seen on a motionless wheel. RD thinks his stunt double was the same one for erect Robin. Moth pleads for forgiveness. Batman: "Unfortunately you learned your lesson too late, Moth. A moth that plays around candles is bound to be burned." Riddler: "You may have won the battle...but the war isn't over yet!" 

At the museum which looks suspiciously like Stately Wayne Manor, bra-ed Aunt Harriet joins Bruce and Dick looking at the sarcophagus. Dick decides to write about it for school.
Bruce: "Yes, most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incans. Very few appreciate that they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn."
Dick: "Now when I eat mashed potatoes, I for one will think of the Incas!"
Aunt Harriet notes the integrity of the sarcophagus.
Bruce: "The old boy nearly didn't make it! Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha."

RD thinks the first half was much better than the second. Vince likes the plot's simplicity. 

RD has an actual Gooker trophy even if the statue is just a regular turkey. (:69) He runs down the list for Vince. He voted for WWE's "attempts" at movie tie-ins.Vince would also if he had voted. 

RD entertains the people while Vince finds his McFarlane Batcave box set that he got for Christmas.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [3] (Frank Gorshin) [3]
  

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 4. The Machines, Japanese, lying, Paul Bunyan
  
• Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  
• Blue Van: 1
• Entertain The People: 1
  

 

Episode 5: Holy Koufax!: August 29, 2021

The Joker is Wild
January 26, 1966
"The Joker decides to fight fire with fire against Batman with a utility belt of his own."
72 minutes 

RD Thinks Criton's A Crook. Russo disagrees. He also doesn't listen to his own podcasts. However the other day while driving this podcast came on and his wife seemed to like it. I'm glad it wasn't the last radio progrem then where one of the people was a concussed drunkard.

Vince likes the show's attempts at continuity. That's the joke. (:03) But this is actually due to Warden Criton to again appear with his "advanced theories of penology making a place where recreation is part of reform." RD wants a similar character to appear in pro wrestling. Vince thinks it's referencing his gimmick.

At Arkham Asylum Gotham State Penitentiary, "entertainment plays a role in CONtainment". (:07) Among the item swaps, a corkboard, pin-ups exchanged for art material, "law books for hacksaw", "a travelling bag for what have you", a glee club, bowling, and afternoon softball with the aforementioned Joker pitching. RD can't believe how bad the baseball field was, prison or otherwise. It was more circular than diamond! Vince ridicules the team the Joker is up against easily throwing softballs and laughing at them. I'd go mad too if I was in his place.

RD notes the first appearance of the Joker's theme. (:11) RD Jr's school banned spiral-bound notebooks like what Russo is using due to all the mess they make.

Even more bizarrely the game has spectators including O'Hara. Vince wanted him drinking. The catcher swaps out one ball for another while loudly saying "this is the one". Hitting it causes a smoke bomb and the spring-loaded pitcher's mound to launch the Joker out of jail into a net. (You'll have to take the show's word for it as we just hear a spring instead of seeing any moving bodies.)

Gordon recalls O'Hara just for some reason so he can call Batman instead. (:18) Dick is playing Chopin on the piano while Bruce and Aunt Harriet make fun of him for some reason. 

Bruce: "All music is important Dick. It's the universal language, one of our best hopes for the realization of the brotherhood of man." What happened to language language? 

At Alfred's prompting the two say they have to go to the ballgame rather than fishing. Dick: "Holy Koufax!"

RD wonders why no one caught on that the Joker was making a spring in the prison workshop despite it being of enormous size. They then find a paper-mâché bust of the Joker which doesn't really look much like him. Batman: "A trait of the criminal mind, the urge to boast often leads to the criminals giving themselves away!" This leads them to the Gotham Museum of Modern Art's newly opened Comedians Hall of Fame which sadly does not feature the Joker. RD thinks they should have renamed it to the Random Warehouse of Randomness. Vince wonders why Pete Rose still isn't in the Hall of Fame.

As the Dynamic Duo visit they are beset by groupies - Robin groupies. (:26) RD hopes they were high school seniors or co-eds marking out over a 12 year old. Vince wonders if Robin had a cold during the shooting due to his nasal voice. He also thinks the cops wouldn't have let Batman remove a No Parking sign if he were Black. Batman parks somewhere else after regardless.

The two enter the museum 30 seconds before closing to see another Joker statue that looks nothing like him, despite Batman's claims to the contrary. The curator promises they'll lock up tightly but the Joker is already there just hiding behind a statue with his henchmen, about to raid the Hall of Fabulous Jewels. Vince was fascinated by a statue of "Vin Vinson".

The Duo break in anyway to fight as obvious stunt doubles. Vince wonders if the word balloons were thus used to try and cover them. (:36) During the scuffle a hung jewel-encrusted toy sword falls onto Batman knocking him out and allowing the two to be captured.

Joker: "Batman and Robin: the dashing diamonds of daring-do!"

While captured and tied up Batman manages to break free with a utility belt smoke bomb of his own: "Here's a joke for you, you FIEND!...This is the end of your evil career!" He uses what RD terms a "double noggin knocker". Vince thinks the sword only pretended to knock him out so Batman could use it to his advantage.

Joker: "I swear by all that's funny: I will never be foiled by that insidious unconstitutional device again!...Never again will that ghastly girdle thwart my plans!"

Young Vince would see his grandmother wearing a non-ghastly beige girdle. Sadly he did not wear one as a utility belt. He would wear a blue towel as as a cape instead. Geek Nerd & Poindexter RD references "The Joker's Utility Belt" as seen in Batman #73 (1952).

The Joker's hideout is in a still shot of the Gotham Pier Amusement Park with the same henchmen the Duo's stunt doubles beat up. (:45)  RD uses it as proof that secret crime boss Gordon released them after their arrest to return to criminal activity on his behalf. They plan to steal the cruise ship SS Gotham.

Vince finds the name of one of them, Queenie, hilariously funny. Not to be confused with the more well known Harley Quinn, she was also in the comic in the 40s and actually found out Batman's secret identity, but was killed before divulging it. 

IMDB lists her trademarks as "natural brunette hair" and "seductive deep voice". She too appeared on The Original Series. (Although I am admittedly more fascinated by her long lasting marriage to Zubin Mehta, musically inclined as I am.) RD feels he underrated the earlier Molly and updates her to 9 Batpoles so that Queenie gets an 8 due to her appealing evilness. A head shaking Vince gives her a 3 due to her long in the tooth appearance as a mid-30s lady.

Back at police HQ no one figures out Bruce and Dick may be more than they seem when an evil clown doll crashes through a window. (:52) They think the "chaplain of chicanery" will rob the circus which left last week. They call up Batman but Alfred tells them he's "out for the day" like he's gone grocery shopping or something. This saddens Gordon considerably to the point of depression. Bruce takes the doll as a souvenir of his "narrow brush with crime", evidence collecting and safekeeping be damned. RD wonders how it could have been thrown through a high story window. A facepalming Vince has to remind him the Joker has a strong pitching arm.

O'Hara then mocks Bruce after he's gone for some reason so Gordon has to stand up for him.

The doll is scanned on a doll stand in the Batcave because why not? A facepalming Vince has to remind him they find only "ordinary dust patterns". 

Thus they naturally segue to the opera. Robin: "Holy ravioli!" The Co-Bros call Pagliacci the Jim Belushi opera. (:60) The Duo go to the TV studio where it is to be shown, as a clown appears wearing a mask from the bank heist from The Dark Knight. Vince remembers a Rice Krispies commercial of the time based on one of the more famous arias (from the opera, not The Dark Knight). Meanwhile there are constant cuts to a bar where one drunk patron says random things and thinks his mother-in-law is on the screen. The clown is in fact the Joker who escapes by throwing sneezing powder, causing the Dynamic Duo to again lose a fight and about to be unmasked on live TV. Patron: "They shouldn't be out with those colds."

Vince wonders why the cliffhangers so far have been rather weak, predictable, and flat. RD liked the Joker's sinister theme and the filmography. (:65) He remembers a third of the cliffhangers and guesses they'll escape with their own utility belt. Vince thinks the patron will do a run-in.

RD does his shilling. (:68)

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker (Cesar Romero)

 

• RD Time Outs: 1 
  

300 The Cameotaker: November 29, 2020

Coming soon to NBC: "Young Rock".
This is the Dwayne.

97 minutes

Blade plays to the ever present crickets on a metaphorical bean bag. RD is unsure whether people saying the show hasn't changed in 10 years is a good thing or not.

Blade reminds RD that Lord Alfred's daughter once contacted him on MySpace many vernal equinoxes ago. (:05) 

The Co-Fruitcakes spend too much time on that poor guy who gets off on Blade's burping. (:09) Blade confused one of his dates by going off to fight a toilet paper mummy. "I want to be as professional as I can." (:13)

RD was sent an odorous UnderTrolla for Thanksmas. (:15) "Turning" it on plays a car turning sound effect followed by a Undertaker Cameo (A bargain at half the price for the low low cost of only $1000! Just ask Bryan Alvarez's Granny). As expected Blade laughs over it.

:19 No global pandemic is getting in the way of RD doing his Black Friday shopping on behalf of the site (and his wife who remained at home). While on the road he saw someone had run their car into a CVS. At Target he saw a woman wearing a hoodie instead of pants buying pants for her son. But at least she was wearing a mask. At Wal-Mart to buy some shirts for charity donation, a redneck "older woman" required help to find some "hey ma, look at this" underwear for her son. And at the Chick-fil-A drive-through for a chicken biscuit, two guys fought over chicken nuggets.

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:35) Blade loudly lies down coughing in response.

Billy Graham has some words congratulating Kurt Angle's (moveset) return to steroids. (:40) Sadly "Stan" is too busy for Blade to pick up the voice modifier to portray him once more so he is forced to read it normally.

Among the balloons at this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Parade was a promotional CGI one of 90's Meme "Young" Rock. (:48) Blade wants a "Baby" Rock carried around by "Dwayne Johnson" Rock or "Father" Rock(y) Johnson. RD summons Popeye to disrupt him. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. (:53)

A Halloween Havoc '99 balloon was selling for $2500. Someone once told Blade WCW's last logo looked like "bird poop".

Trish Stratus will cameo as a "professional" lumberjack in a Hallmark Christmas movie. One wonders what she will be wearing. (:57)

Outback Jack is to do an autograph signing. That's the joke. (:60) 

He's also been doing podcasts. That's also the joke.

Candace Michelle received random "Japanese porn" scored by Titanic music. (:62) RD resummons Popeye for some reason. ああギュグギュクギュグギュク。

The Bushwhackers are autograph touring next year. That's also also the joke. 

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:65)

Tam has spent 300 days in jail. 

RD: "How is that news?"

Tony Christ of Facebook: "Why did it take so long?" RD: "There's your answer. Done." (:68)

Blade laughs himself into coughing.

The two have some more favorite moments. RD has Blade coughing himself into Burgess Meredith, Mike Check doing the Star Wars Convention market, and putting the Co-Hosss Contest out of its misery. Blade has The Bob & Weave Morning Drive, beating your meat in front of Victoria and Gillman, and Co-Hosssing as Sir Alec. 

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:82) He thinks this one was for Ken Patera, who's also autograph signing. Does he sign boulders?

RD admits the Trolla Corporation may not in fact be delivering top quality products. You don't say.

Blade has yet to watch The Mandalorian, one episode guest starring Sasha Banks as another Mandalorian. He prefers to be in Vince's demographic and talk about his mask in Clerks 2 with Rosario Dawson guest starring in another episode. RD: "Did you throw your back out trying to make that connection?"

Some AEW folks will do a table read of A Christmas Story as part of annual TBS tradition, with Jim Ross narrating. He calls in to complain, sounding more hoarse than usual due to Blade's coughing fits. (:90) Then Blade laughs too much, giving RD an opportunity to quickly end things before Jim can tell him to go fuck himself.

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:93)

Seventeen Syllables right here on the fly sure to be good:
The Undertaker.
You know what will rest in peace?
Some moron's wallet.

RD: "I thought you were gonna say "One thousand dollars.""
Blade: "Well, if I had more time to prepare."

$33.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Thanksgiving/Black Friday
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmellow, Patreon
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Sleazy, things referencing things referencing other things.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Popeye, Popeye (2), Jim
  

 

• Mama’s Dishes Broken:  1
• Blade Time Outs:  10 (4 rapid fire)
• RD Time Outs:  1
• Blade Burps:  2
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  0
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  0

 

• Question of the Week from: Tony Christ
  
• WrestleCrap Radio 300.  What took so long? There's your answer. Done.

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Favorite Moments in WCR history?
• RD:  Penguin Episode, Mike Check goes to the Star Wars convention, the 2007 WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host Contest (non sequentially)
• Blade:  April Fools Day WTKO Bob N’ Weave Morning Drive May 1977, Victoria’s launch party for her car company, RD lost his marbles over Gilliam, the draft where Sir Alec was co-host (non-sequentially, first time)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Undertaker cashing in fools’ money:
  The Undertaker.
  You know what will rest in peace?
  Some moron's wallet.