254 Derailed: October 10, 2015

All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya!

91 minutes

Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.

That's what she said.

This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot if there is one is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.

RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.

Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Co-Hosses seem to be suffering from at present.)

:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote Mrs. Deal doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.

Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)

RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."

Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.

Artist's representation
of a poison mushroom

Sad News: Blade's never been married even as he hits 40. Actual Sad News: The Rock's puppy, the one he saved from drowning, didn't cheat death a second time, succumbing to a poison mushroom. (:41)

Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)

Eve Torres had a child named Raeven, pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)

RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."

:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven? Pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She supposedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not explicit of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.

RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"

Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again.  (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (as King Arthur decapitates him, only for him to continue talking.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:

• "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter." 

• "The show was held from the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, North Carolina. The venue reported that only 280 people paid for tickets to the show. Tweets showed that TNA was distributing hundreds of vouchers in an attempt to have any sort of crowd."

• "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."

Also of rather important note:

• "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."

I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.

Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mailman to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.

:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!

Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.

:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.

Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."

Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)

:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.

James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Co-Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.

Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe
Hehehehehe.

The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.

RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, IntestinalFortitude.com
• URLs not taken: 1. MikeCheckinathimble.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Internal organs, dying
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Filton Whisk, Bill Cosby, Honky Tonk Mail Man, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen

 

• Krankor Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Allan in Milwaukee
• Who will win this years Warrior Award and why will it be Stephanie McMahon? Blade: Nope, Iron Duke.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: New Yawn or York?
  The MSG Show.
  Yawn. It was more like War to
  Not Settle the Bore. 
    
• Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: One last thing on RDs white:
  
  Hooker solicits RD.
  What do call such a thing?
  Terrifying Whore-Deal!
  

250/40 Revival: August 20, 2015

I'ts Ba-ack! Yip-pay!

75 minutes

Having been podcasting for 10 years (and 250 episodes) now, RD & Blade decide to bring the old show back, and NOT because they only made 39 episodes of its 'successor' over 2 years. Cue the same old Old Yeller jokes. Although now I want to see a Zombie Old Yeller movie, so...thanks?

(Of course, most full term shows have 25/26 episode seasons on average too, so it does all balance out overall. Then again, most full term shows aren't badly made wrestling radio progrems either. Not unless the next season of Better Call Saul has an episode where John Thomas discusses credit card payments with Mr. "Johnny Mackerel/Sean Goodplan".)

Greg, formerly of globalinternet.net, may be getting back into the website hosting business. RD wonders what his new site URL would be. (:04)

So it comes to pass that this very site you're reading (if still up) is now an official sponsor of WWCR. Cue my non Jeff Foxworthy impression/silent movie voice in reading the ad copy in a single sentence. (:07)

Blade: "Oh, here's the thing, you know, we want to try and get a good schedule going where -"
RD: "Well now you just cursed us."
...
Blade: "Here's the thing real quick."

:11 Blade has Don standing around to taste test some food for him. Hopefully he's not wearing his mask or using corn oil as a condiment. The bag of Herr's chips he's testing is sadly not named or flavored sand or Barbecue Corn Nuts like he guesses, or RD's thinking that it has Elmer's glue in it for that extra kick. (It's actually Peppered Bacon.)

Blade ate an entire 'pack of bacon' the day before. Wouldn't you? (Don't answer that.)

Blade reads a blurb about the upcoming Black Bottle Brewery's Count Chocula Beer. If you want to try it out for yourself, try eating Count Chocula cereal in some beer instead of milk and see how it tastes. And it HAS to be in a cereal bowl or it doesn't count. (:20)

At least the Faxtrolla is still operational. (:22) Ted DiBiase and Jim Duggan met David Prowse at a UK wrestling convention. RD is reminded of when Mike Check went to a Star Wars convention and ran into Jake Lloyd Jr's foot, which is better than (his old man) "good old" Jake Lloyd Sr. being arrested after some real life podracing. Blade suggests watching Episode I in Spanish where (of all things) Anakin's "YIPPEE!!" was dubbed. Hmmm, I wonder how Latin Jar Jar would sound like now.

:28 The "TammyTrolla" has followed the Co-Fruitcakes to the original progrem, much to RD's dismay. She's trying to sell her sofa so she can buy a sectional. RD wonders if Debbie Reynolds is on social media. Her recent Skypeing for sexual/non-sexual related stuff suddenly summons the Sad News Music, but thankfully it's not for her. It IS for Yvonne Craig, the original Batgirl and Vince Russo's beloved, who is no longer with us after a long and fruitful life. (:34)

Blade can't wear his Bossk mask outside of Halloween for some reason, or so he says.

:37 The Question Of The Week is going to once again be award/prize winning because RD wants to clear out his house of unwanted stuff. At least for his American Listeners; seeing as it costs a bajillion to ship overseas, he'll instead pay the "lucky" winner $5 (American) for their submission. That converts to I believe £3, ¥600, $200 Canadian and 300 of whatever the Greek currency is now. 300 Spartans I think.

It also has a new email address: questions@wrestlecrap.com. That is the ONLY place for submissions now. No other ways will be accepted!...Almost no other ways, anyway.

In lieu of a question, what with the surprise recording and all, the two talk about their favorite progrem moments. Again. Thankfully their reminiscing is interrupted by a "Filson Wisk" looking for a "Mr. X". He sounds more like RD than Vincent D'Onofrio though. (Dincent V'Onofrio?) (:42)

The duo now need to look for a new TNA Correspondent. Oh joy. I guess the Honky Tonk Mailman was transferred to a different section in the USPS so he's unable to take them on his route in his pink Cadillac. (:45) They try calling David Lee Roth's Soundboard for help at first. He still won't report on TNA though. So they have to call JR instead. (:50) He's angry because he's not getting any money from his 'appearances', and is still so angry that he even censors himself. "Go fluff yourself!" he rambles.

Blade retrieves Stubby from his corner. He doesn't prove much help either. (:55)

Neither does Mike Check. (:58) His daughter is trying to find a job for him which is remarkable when you consider he's a prison escapee (EDIT: A prison escapee under house arrest who has his own website. --Raging_Demons). Did he ever tell you about the time when he was in Madison, Wisconsin (market) in WDEL "The Dell" (making bad Kennedy jokes) as Billy Limburger with Craig Atlas "Cutting The Cheese"? Also Taryn "Tiffany" Terrell brings his microphone up to attention to Carol Channing here on WWCR.

:69 Lesnar is to fight Undertaker as Frasier Crane at Summerslam. Iron Mark wonders how Cena's nose is holding up.

Seventeen Easily Digestible Cubic Syllables:
Taker Vs. Brock.
Summerslam's big main event.
Will Mark's Depends leak?




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Greg formerly of Global Internet, WrestleCrap.com
• URLs not taken: 5. KrogerCellPhone.com, GloboGreg.com, TheBestDamnWebhostintheEntireUniverse.com, TrollaHosting.com, GoodOleJakeLoyd.com
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. The finest celebrities
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Premier Blah, Don Mason, Filson Wisk, David Lee Roth, Jim, Stubby, Mike Check, “Iron” Mark Tyson

 

• RD Time Outs: 4 (1 Wait A Second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• The Price Is Woooo: 2
  
• RD False Finishes:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1
  

 

• Trolla Products Update: Faxtrolla (functioning)

 

• Question of the Week from: RD & Blade
  
• Favorite WCR moment? RD:  WCR outro. Blade:  Hanging with RD.

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WDEL The Del (Madison, Wisconsin)
• Radio Call Sign:  Billy Limburger
• Partner: Craig Atlas
  
• Show:  Cuttin’ the Cheese
• Song:  “Hello Dolly” by Carol Channing

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: This feels awfully familiar:
  Taker Vs. Brock.
  Summerslam's big main event.
  Will Mark's Depends leak?

 

Filson Wisk

A character, possibly hailing from "Hell's Kitchen" New York, that debuted on Wrestlecrap Radio's 2015 return episode (#250), who called the show looking for a "masked man" called "Mr. X". He quickly hung up the phone when someone called "Fanessa", who he referred to as "Honey", walked in.

It is completely coincidental that he would call in at the same time that Arrow's Stephen Amell would celebrity guest host a WWE PPV, or that he would be representing the opposing DC Comics in this battle. (Marvel wouldn't be involved with TNA because...they're friggin' TNA for crying out loud.)

• Sounded more like RD than Vincent D'Onofrio. (Dincent V'Onofrio?) 
• Rumored to be the infamous crime boss "The Pingkin".
• Had the henchman Bullsear do his dirty work.
• Rumors also abound that he is hunting Murdock Matt, the deaf Devildare.