200 The Call-Out: October 21, 2011

137 minutes (!)

If their arrows blot out the sun,
it would help global warming.

Despite missing two months to who knows what, things are back to 'normal', at least before the duo takes the year off due to someone breaking their back or something. And what better way to do that than to reminisce, both with the Co-Fruitcakes and other Listeners favorite moments on a forum thread. Even RD has forgotten a few moments during the show's history. This shows he's not a regular visitor of this here site which would have helped him out. And he would also know that our Beloved Founder (The Founder to my Premier as it were) [To my hired help? - Clarence][The Founder to my Premier to my Showstealer, as it were.] has helped summarize all their episodes. Go have a look. Trust me, it's better than this week, because nothing of note happens for the next 24 minutes, except for another Don anal story (is there any other kind?).

Blade spoils things by saying that Rowdy Roddy Piper (the ACTUAL legend and not just his legendary PSAs) will be appearing next episode. (:18)

Blade has found his favorite 'Nitro party' entry. (:22) He reads an '11th hour' letter sent in August.

And now you can end the show here if you like. (Mrs. Deal! Get Iggy on the phone!) This is because the rest of the show is just people calling in and messing around. If that sounds familiar...well it is, and we don't even get Global Internet's Greg or the Zombie to spice things up. I'm not necessarily going to take them to task for disobeying the Cornette Rule and repeat the same angle (or episode) only after seven years, and I know they were probably rushed for time to do something or risk wasting yet another fruitless week. But looking at this from a creative viewpoint as I always do, they should at least have made one thing different. Perhaps have Nate come back from the 'dead' and have him break Mike Check out of jail so he can call in randomly and threaten them with a Men Without Hats song or something. I'm expecting next year to be another clip show that would rival the infamous TNG episode Shades Of Grey in terms of nothing happening.

So this year we're essentially getting a WCR Roster roll call as various characters call in to fart around and have fun for some random reason.

And I wonder if I'm losing my mind sometimes.

:25 Pleasantries out of the way, let's get to the self-congratulatory circle jerking. Jim Ross calls to insult the two. Hey, that's my job! I didn't realize he was a newly recruited Co-Historian. He revisits his only video to read comments.

:34 One 'loan' bright spot arises with John Thomas, sight for sore ears. Blade 'thinks' about him. John's been hunting Brakestown down over lifetimes like a Highlander.

:42 The Honky Tonk Mailman gives a call, now the longest running Intercontinental champion TNA correspondent for doing fuck all while the show was hibernating, thank you very much. Matt Morgan's been un-injured six weeks ago. The new Zack Gowan stamp is made from Lego pieces.

Be afraid.

:52 Popeye calls in. He has his own website. Hilarity ensues.

:59 Nintendo John likes some Castlevania game, but hopefully not the one featuring that Bond villain and that guy who sounds like "Stewart Patrick".

:68 David Lee Roth calls in like he's some sort of frequent character now. Sadly his soundboard has no new lines from Runnin' With The Devil so he's not much help.

RD 'remembers' when Johnny Six hosted a show with Blade that one time, which is an excuse to draw a one-line joke even longer than it should. (:72) Are we sure this wasn't included in that April Fools show that one time? Or for that matter, aping Iggy's summations?

Blade's ex-girlfriend does not want to be on the show. I have no idea why. (:76)

:82 Chief Jay Strongbow.

:82 The Midnight Rose calls. He hung out with Blade who played a cripple in a movie. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:90 Corporal Fagsher is still possessed by a car. Knowing he he's probably just censoring himself with his own car noises.

:94 Stubby does his shtick. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:104 B.M. Punk is Chief Jay Strongbowed, as per usual.

:105 Satan confuses RD by 'rereading' Billy Graham's letter. I think he does it even more so by not having his music play while he originally did that. He actually congratulates them on their 'achievement', as he is wont to do.

:111 Sir Alec Heineken and Ellie are 'engaged'. He reads a 'poem'. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:117 Mike Check gets his prison call. Finally, an actual celebrity! Now the show is picking up. Did he ever tell you about the time he was at Omaha's KFLU 102? He was John Cillin to Andy Rooney's Penny Simpson to host the Penny Cillin Show. [And of course the Curse strikes again, felling the man a fortnight later. - Future PB]

Blade does his Bill Cosby. (:127)

So too his Iron Mark Tyson.

:129 Stevie J shows how ad copy is SUPPOSED to be done. He and his Angry Marks Podcast co-host (Co-Fist?) congratulate the duo.

RD doesn't want to take any more chances and decides to end the show. I don't blame him.

Blade 'doesn't do haikus' on anniversary shows (yes you fucking do) so he sings instead. Mrs. Deal! Get that 80's era Casio keyboard!

$4.00 ($36.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

199 One-Off: August 4, 2011

73 minutes

Emperor, are they REALLY going to harp on this episode milestone constantly over and over to replace the fact that they always have fuck all to actually discuss on the radio progrem? Apparently the answer is yes. "That's what this show's become," RD admits.

Sad News: both men are hurting bad, although it's more from day to day life rather than injuries from equally angered Listeners. Blade tries to get through the pain by more random singing. RD wants an anniversary re-release of Blade's Revenge of the Black Scorpion . They are still accepting submissions for people dressing up as characters at "Nitro parties". Hell, just cut the middleman and send them to me. I could use a good laugh.

NITRO SAUSAGE PARTY

And no, don't look at ME to send in anything. I only wear one thing most of the time, and unless Oklahoma University's hockey team is any good, I don't think what I wear counts. In fact, you could say that the only character I dress up as is...well, myself. So leave ME out of this thank you very much.

:15 RD's back hurts from a bump he took while driving on the wrong side of the road in a bumper car. Those things are deadly, let me tell you. Blade makes some meaningless arguments which RD mercilessly tears down.

:25 The BNV finally has her site up, so RD pays a visit. Unfortunately it's not as concise as bignippledvampire.com. The two get it in their heads somehow that paying for her to appear on the show every month to answer the Question of the Week would be a license to print money. Or you could just donate the money to me and I can pretend to be her for your enjoyment. The Midnight Rose is appearing on another shoot DVD, this one with Danny Doring. (:34) Poor Maryse has a stalker. Sir Alec is summoned to read some of his strange messages to her. (:39) In actual news, did you know she did an interview for the hometown Habitant?

:50 Blade wants to make a "NWO B-SquadThunder" spin-off of the "Nitro" Fantasy Football League. Did you know someone made a custom Ted DiBiase and Gary Coleman figure?

:53 Ultimate Kennedy (12) has a question.

:55 The HTMM is preoccupied, so RD preoccupies us with Sting's bird. Blade in turn preoccupies us with how his ex-girlfriend un-friended him on Facebook because she didn't like one Troma movie.

:65 Zack Ryder, geek jobber.

Triple H is on two shows for double the pain.

Seventeen Syllables about this:
There's one champion,
two champions, three times
Triple H bullshit.

$4.00 ($32.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right thing for PC.) Can he break the $50 mark by the end of the year? One can wonder...

198 Null-Stars: July 22, 2011

82 minutes

Using the opportunity of C.M. Punk 'escaping' WWE with the belt, Triple H has finally taken his revenge against Vince for putting him in The Chaperone and has temporarily replaced him on screen. My advice for his first order of business: remove whoever is running WWE Studios with someone more competent.

A rare deal this week only: you can have the Archive Disk for only $15! Related to that you can also get Blade's limited Midnight Rose shirt until August 15th.

:12 Blade wants to search the "Canon" to find how long his Doug Jarvis-style Mickey James mentioning streak has lasted. (Heh, it's funny seeing the legendary Hab winning his 6th Stanley Cup as an assistant coach with Boston) While I CAN tell you when they started talking about her in the first place, I'm not that much of a fool to go over the episodes AGAIN to pinpoint any gaps and holes in that streak. Not unless serious bribes are involved. Anyway, there's more shilling of this very site. RD wonders if a (no doubt fascinating) segment named "To Quote Mike Check" would be the next Fantasy Booking Island.

:17 Blade thinks the show is menstruating. I think it's more like it's going through menopause. RD's been in Europe much of the year, but he only took the opportunity just recently to go visit Disneyland Paris. At right is an example of what is considered a fun ride for young children. Speaking of unbroken hymens...sadly Popeye does not call in claiming to have made the ride. Shockingly Blade is not drunk...yet. Again, he's probably getting his 'caffeine' in Irish coffee. Cap'n Crunch Treasures are King Pedophile cereals in disguise. (:25) Sadly Popeye does not call in here either to show his approval.

:29 The Big Nippled Vampire was once supposed to be on the radio progrem against Damien Demento but for some reason she sadly couldn't make it. Sad News: her webpage was down at the time of recording (it's up at the time of writing.) Sir Alec is summoned to try and take her place. (:35) He has another Shawn Michaels 'story' about him against PETA.

New Jack has been rather heated against his former girlfriend Terri Runnels, she of the house scam. (:43) Sad News: according to him she was spreading a venereal disease around the locker room. Sadder News: she was once involved with New Jack. Saddest News: remember when Don's friend fucked a horse?

:47 Satan's Tubular Bells are back to their regular 'normal' sound this week. He can't get inside Google Plus yet though. Those anti-daemonic wards must still be working. He reads for us more of New Jack, who apparently has 'naked photos' of her. Even worse is Gene Snitsky 'hacking' his own page to insult the Miz and his fans because he has a hot girlfriend instead of a foot fetishist bounty hunter angle.  Good news is RD doesn't bother to censor him this time. His daemonic powers are probably at full power today.

:54 The BNV had some rather strange ring names. Poor lady, she must be far too nice to ask for more dignified sounding names. The Question of the Week is from Dallas James who is lonely and wants to crash a party. RD wants one made for the 200th episode. Blade wants uploaded footage of character dress up to be discussed on said episode.

:59 The HTMM is again a no-show so Jim calls instead. (:62) He needs a taste tester and takes the time to mock "Johnny Age" and can relate to a TNA Knockout's face paralysis. Then he abruptly leaves. 

:67 Blade does his Mike Tyson impression. C.M. Punk stores his belt in his fridge to make it Mountain Cold. RD can't help but watch a old clip of a random lady shooting on someone. Why she's not currently on Raw is a mystery for the ages.

Vince's fashion sense is as impeccable as always.

All kinds of stuff:
Vince in salmon suit.
Goodbye to wrestling, hello
Chicken of the Sea.

$5.00 ($28.00)



What's this? Blade's crossed the $25 mark with flying colors? Why, this calls for...well, a prize! Something bonus that can be fit into the jar (if physically possible) to commemorate this fantastic milestone.

What do you have for us, Rich?

That's right P, it's The Price Is Right computer game! Now you too can have fun coming on down in the comfort of your own home! Get on the Showcase Showdown, get the chance to win a brand new car, or even just mess around just to hear those legendary losing horns while flirting with Carey's Cuties. It can be done with this Nintendo John Seal Of Approval game right in your hands! All this in stunning Windows XP-era graphics for the amazing actual retail price of $19.99, but only if...The Premier Is Right! Back to you, P.

($28.00 plus TPIR game for $19.99)

(Many thanks to Robert Q. Seidelman for the item recommendation. Check out his site here. Trust me, it's far more funny than anything I could write.)

197 I have something to say...3-D: July 1, 2011

101 minutes

DO NOT WANT

The AFC lost the Pro Bowl, so RD must recite many listener-submitted insults. This is despite him trying to make everyone forget about his debt by having so many weeks pass without updating the radio progrem. A noble attempt to be sure, but futile.

Beside that, the Co-Fruitcakes have to make it up by discussing the passing of Randy Savage. (:09 - :17) He once had an erection at some point in time that only Blade noticed. But he's not gay or anything. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.)

RD's PSA (:22): Use more efficient methods for birth control. Ruffles Double-Fisted Bacon Cheeseburger Chips have a rather unfortunate name, despite their taste.

RD went to Disneyworld again for a Star Wars Weekend (:28) where he met a Mon Mothma impersonator. Apparently Peter Pan moonlights as Luke Skywalker. As worrying as it may sound, it might have its benefits. Instead of having to get around in an X-Wing he could just Force Fly to his destination.


The Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness II are fighting vertically-challenged combatants in Topeka on the 16th. (:40) The bare mention of his name is enough to get Tony's Theme running, like it always seems to do. It's his ring tone or something.

Rose is also with Jim Ross and Stubby sending weird submissions to the Honky Tonk Man on his second shoot DVD. Some random online reviewer doesn't get them, thinking that Jim sounded somehow like Freddy Krueger. Jim calls to dissuade him (badly). (:45) Apparently he was a big fan of 38 Special.

Satan's Tubular Bells sound different somewhat. (:50) Gorgeous George thinks she's Jim Ross. (But not sadly as Freddy Krueger.) "The Devil made me do it." is her excuse.

The HorseTrolla tells us that Mickey James is 'opening up' for that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. [I wonder what would draw more. A concert with Mickie and that guy from Hootie and the Blowfish....Or a TNA live event? - Clarence] (:55)

Warning: Do not
consume rectally.

(:59) RD has to answer another Question from Facebook, which is tough as no one wrote an actual question.  He cheats by reading one of those 'questions' from Robert Stenburgh. Blade analyzes the current movie scene.

The Honky Tonk Mail Man has no deliveries for Blade this week. (:64) Perhaps he also works for Canada Post and was on strike.

:66 Blade keeps listening to that 'rerun' of Mike Check as Bob Ali at WTKO The Knockout. RD wonders if this particular edition will be called "Summerslam '88 Boner" for some reason. You're confusing me, Randy.

The big news this week is rather obvious: CM Punk's 'rampaging' worked shoot at the end of Raw. The two have some sort of discussion on the response, which involves Scott Steiner for some reason.

SPEAKING OF Scott Steiner (:76), RD can't help but show Blade a promo for his workout video, which involves him being dry humped by two women.

:80 Blade decides to just give RD all the suitable submissions he wants him to say. However, many make no sense and keep referencing Gay Popeye, thus diluting their potency. Better luck next time Mr. Brakestown.

That being said, whoever came up with the line "the Swear Jar, when full, will be shoved up my ass." is an absolute genius.

Someone has written a haiku for RD:
Chick-a-dee Chyna.
Wanna get that vagina
and freak like Steina'.

In what could only be loosely termed as a Alexander Pope style 'satire', B.M. Punk has his own work shoot worked shoot on-air diarrhea. (:96) No word if he's doing it sitting cross-legged on a toilet seat.

$4.25 ($23.00)

I AM planning for an extra 'reward' for Blade to have to pay when he passes that $25 dollar tier. Whatever it is though, I have to think on still. Suffice to say it should be...something, alright.
 



[Edit: A full list of Deal's "I have something to say" quotes can be read here]

196 A Medley of Musical Madness: May 20, 2011

85 minutes

Is it me, or is RD more attractive in a wig?

Blade is ill this week, but rather than sound like the Penguin like he normally does, this time he sounds almost drunk. He's also forcing himself not to be as crude as he normally is. RD has his WWE Niagara Falls...shirt on, and is reduced to answering questions on his Facebook wall. More shilling of this very site ensues. Blade wants he and RD to wear powdered wigs for their bicentennial 200th episode.

The Co-Fruitcakes finally have their new forum thanks to Sean Carless, the Craphole. (:09) Go look at it now, I'll wait. Hell, Clarence and I are mods over there. If you read this, say hi to us over there. We might give you an e-cookie or something. (I'm still going to be around the old site though, and you should check out the Freakin' Awesome Network if you have some spare time on your hands.)

RD is guessing that their sponsorship deal thingy with Global Internet is somewhat strenuous right now (it's like one of those cyclical graphs with the line going up and down in waves; right now the number is low) so he searches for a new sponsor to take their place. This week on the Sponsor Roulette (:16), we get promotional consideration from Hulk Hogan Vitamins (Blade can't hear the children on it properly), Lord Alfred for Mr. Freeze Freeze-a-bars (though thankfully without any bad puns being made), and Lord Alfred shillingreallyreallyreallyfastforhislifeforsomereasonfor Double Dragon 3.

:21 RD has to explain the Trip to the Grocery. White Castle is now accepting online orders. (What are they, Domino's?) RD has to explain White Castle with reference to Bob Griese. It's a fast food franchise. What more do you want to know? RD posts on the new forum for the first time.

:31 On Primetime Wrestling this week from WWE On Demand the Megapowers explode through a verbal debate with Rockin' Robin. Speaking of exploding the Ultimate Warrior is working on some music project with Steven Adler, formerly of Guns 'n' Roses (:36) Unless he's painting album covers while Adler does all the actual musical work I'm not buying it (literally or figuratively). I mean, Warrior would spend at least half an hour between songs rambling incoherently. This leads to the logical nostalgia of Rockin' Robin singing as well as the Warrior does on an average day.

The Big Nippled Vampire is appearing in a Smashing Pumpkins music video. Wait...the Pumpkins are still making music? And music videos??? It's probably just an excuse for Billy Corgan to hit on her. Hell, perhaps she's in the band now which would give him an excuse to do that. That wouldn't be more surprising than the news we actually get.

The Midnight Rose is to be back on TV, which gives RD an excuse to play Tony's Theme again. I look forward to the day they play Push it to the Limit and make me hallucinate I'm playing a Grand Theft Auto game with the radio progrem as part of the soundtrack. On that same track, the Rose's imaginary girl Maria is on a party tour at Baltimore, which is not to be confused with Baltimora and Tarzan Boy. The two randomly discuss Easter eggs that can be 'found' on their DVDs as a result. Or you could just save your money and look for them on YouTube.

Sad HorseTrolla: (:48) Blade missed seeing Mickie James, Becky Bayliss, and Betsey Russell in Detroit. It's almost becoming a habit of his. RD thinks Betsey doesn't have long for this world so Blade needs to fuck her as quickly as she can before she becomes known to be sick.

:55 You know the recording is taking too long when Blade's phone dies and he has to get a replacement. RD reads a question from Keil Williams (not to be confused with the band Keel) about Ric Flair, secretive Time Lord. (Why do you think he's still in the ring after all these years?)

:62 The Honky Tonk Mailman pays a visit. Hey, remember him? I sure don't. Sadly, in his hiatus between appearances he didn't bother to upgrade his Skype connection because it still keeps cutting out every now and then. According to him, Sting will appear in WWE...in February. You know, if they want more timely news they should get him to ship Express. He also has news about the Dark Journey $5 Priority stamp. It's apparently made in Soviet Russia because the stamp licks you. Jim Ross calls in to see if he can get one. (:68)

:69 The Co-Hosses waste time by going over Maxim's latest Hot 100 List. According to Blade's excited reading of her statement, Kelly Kelly is excited to chart the list at #82....ten spots below former Diva Stacy Keibler. That's so representative of the whole current Diva roster isn't it?

In case you were wondering (and you were probably weren't) about the irreverence of such Lists as these, the top spot at the list is taken by a Victoria's Secret lady who's currently replacing Megan Fox in the upcoming Transformers: Bark at the Moon. (At least, I think that's what the title is. Didn't we already see this in this year's Doctor Who series?) The lone silver lining for that movie: Leonard Nimoy is going to be voicing Sentinel Prime. (His second wife is a direct relative of Michael Bay. Plus as a last resort he could just send in repurposed clips of when he was in the first first movie as Galvatron.)

[Spoiler Alert? Judging from what happens with Prime in this movie maybe they should have just kept him as Galvatron and enticed more confused folks to see it. - Future PB]

Michael Hayes is now a wrestling manager. (:78) RD remembers his terrible theme song he had when he was with the Fabulous Freebirds. Wasn't it usually a rite of passage though those days to have your own awful theme song? It's most definitely nothing new. An 'invasion' is being planned for June 21st. The fact that they're randomly just dropping this news here at the end of the show without much explanation says wonders for what they think of it or what the turnout will become. So, don't hold your breath for anything to happen just yet.

You know what is even worse? Joanie Laurer is in TNA playing as Jeff Jarrett's lover.

Seventeen Syllables to expand on that:
Chyna the mistress.
Sorry, I'd rather bang Ar-
nold's fat ugly one.

Blade: "End the show now."

You have to be kidding me. Just 75 cents? ($18.75)

195 How: April 29, 2011

60 minutes

Now available in HD.

WrestleCrap Radio returns to the (digital) airwaves after a two year month absence. Lucky me. I would say the break in recording is from some karmic retribution of not actually making a proper episode before the April Fools one, hence this result. But I don't think anyone would be the wiser from this. Either way, it is fine by me. Anything to lessen the, ah, 'experience' of subjecting myself to and summarizing the radio progrem. (I really am a masochist.)

#1 It also appears the DraftTrolla supersedes all made bets, as Glen Danzig has been drafted to WTKO The Knockout. He would certainly have a lot to say on THAT network, that's for damn sure.

Sad News: WWE Niagara Falls has been future endeavored.

#2 To try and liven things up Gay Popeye is drafted to the laugh track. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. (:05)

#3 To try and liven THAT up Mike Check is drafted to Promotional Consideration. Hilarity ensues as they try to get him to shill from prison. (:07)

#4 Jim Ross is drafted to take a TRIP to the Grocery. (:19) He was too busy standing vigil for Johnny Ace's moist skateboard to find anything of note there. "Never trust a carnie with your meat Deal," he advises.

The Midnight Rose is now on cable in Kansas. (:26)

#5 RD tires of Blade much earlier than last time, so he gets Sir Alec on his end of the tin can and string instead. RD is not sure how long he should play his music. (:30) Trish Stratus is selling some sort of water online. Sir Alec often used hush puppies when malt vinegar was not available.

#6 "Satan" is summoned so RD can explain what exactly he does on the show. (:36) His old friend Billy Graham is up to no good again. Neither is Mickie James.

#7 SPEAKING OF the Midnight Rose, he's drafted to answer the Question of the Week. (:41) It's from Raging Demons (5), who thinks a porn startlet looks like Madison Rayne. Shouldn't that be the Observation of the Week insetead?

#8 Stubby reclaims his old post of TNA Correspondent. (:46) TNA is receiving a worker's comp lawsuit from an injured Daphnee. (According to the Honky Tonk Non-Mail Man, Karen Jarrett also has her own suit against the company .) Sir Alec temporarily becomes possessed by Popeye for some reason.

:52 Sin Cara is on a trampoline like Dennis Stamp. WWE wants to make their own TV network. Then Blade starts coughing, causing RD to laugh uncontrollably.

#9 Chief Jay Strongbow is drafted to deliver the Haiku.
How. How. How. How. How.
How. How. How. How. How. How. How.
How. How. How. How. How.

#10 The radio progrem's Intro tune has been drafted to replace the Outro.

A very minuscule amount for the Swear Jar, just 50 cents, for $18.00. I don't count swearing from Blade's other characters because that's in their character to act around like that. Now, if Brakestown HIMSELF does it, that's a whole other story entirely!



*Note to self: Insert self-portrait with my own WWE Niagara Falls Cup here*

(194) The Bob & Weave Morning Drive: April 1, 2011

77 minutes

They say that like it's a bad thing.

You think Mike Check was fibbing when he was talking about his past radio experience? Then enjoy this 're-run' from 1977 while he was working in Ithaca NY's WTKO 'The Knockout' as Bob Ali alongside his broadcast partner Cassius Weave!

(Aside: Is it wrong that I actually enjoy the music they were playing? I guess I prefer music when it was, well, actual frigging music.)

The Swear Jar is holding at $17.50. No interest is being incurred...yet.

193 Phoned In: February 11, 2011

70 minutes

This is essentially the equivalent of a slow news day, so in inspiration from my predecessor's earlier writs let's just cut to the chase and not dally too much. You have more important things to attend to today rather than just reading this, I'm sure. [And here I thought I was the only one who phoned things in around here - Clarence]

RD lost his bet so he has to read submissions next time. Lesson learned: don't bet on the Pro Bowl.

This is a real poster made by Hollywood(?).
Update 3/17: Already on Netflix!

RD was lazy (actual excuse: he was away for business), so in lieu of writing something for the site he has his first premeditated/premonitioned/prehumous/future induct of The Chaperone, literally copied from a post of forum member Bone Machine of F4WOnline (presumably with his permission of course.)

[Update 2/20: Apparently the movie did so bad it didn't even chart on the weekend's box office results.]

[Update to the Update 3/1: Apparently the film grossed less money than the asking price on a used Plymouth Horizon, but that's 'OK' because it allows Wal-Mart to sell their DVDs...] 

:13 Someone is auctioning a UWF/Mid-South ring. (Standing price at time of writing: $3700) Jim Ross is not happy.  Or perhaps he's not happy at The Chaperone? Or perhaps he wants to make his own Clerks movie? Or perhaps he wants to slap a Jap? He makes no sense. (This is a habit of his.)

:24 RD went back to the Netherlands for business and had strange Doritos flavors - Cool American, Japanese Teriyaki, BBQ Ham. His review of "The Mexican" Restaurant - terrible food at a terrible price. Blade's horrible John Travolta impression tries some Pizza Supreme Doritos. He does not like them.

:36 Hulk Hogan is reduced to shilling some cleaning product. You can use it to remove blood stains from your shirt, so keep that in mind the next time you plan to murder someone.

Sad News: Matt Hardy's new girlfriend is that Giants girl. Blade is not afraid.

The Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness (2) will be in a benefit appearance in Topeka.

Question (:47): Derek Quinn of the Powerhouse of Sound DJ Service remembers the 10 Year anniversary of Big Show beating RD up that one time.

:51 As expected the Mailman isn't here (he was caught in the snow). He did however deliver the news on Blade's 'answering machine', which has Kevin Nash leaving TNA for WWE again...more than three weeks ago. They're also selling Virgil's stamp, which is larger than normal due to his penis. The message 'cuts' off just before he can tell a fanfic-style story of said penis. That's Alec's gimmick, you know.

:57 The 40-man Royal Rumble was no good, so much so that some caller named "Stu Hart", apparently back from the dead, calls out his son Smith. Popeye likes what he hears. "What has this show become?" RD asks. "How?" Chief Jay calls in response.

Apologize with Seventeen Syllables:
Chief Jay, Honky, Stu,
Gay Popeye too: this show sucks.
Why do you listen?

$5.25 (Total: $17.50)

192 Ready to Royal Rumble: January 28, 2011

90 minutes

Blade was in an actual recording studio the other day. Presumably he had to wear pants while doing so.

The duo spend some time talking about/advertising this very site. I feel like a third/fourth sponsor now. I should get Clarence to send them some ad copy that RD would butcher while trying to read it. [Wrestlecrapradio.com: From Fantasy Booking Island to RD's Dream Analysis and all the crap in between. Every Wrestlecrap Radio archived and dissected for your entertainment. Plus Random Thoughts on Wrestling from THE Clarence Mason....or at least someone who plays him as a gimmick. It's the Crapipedia of the Internetz. Wrestlecrapradio.com. Yes it really IS taken (I really should write these more often) - Clarence]

The 2010 Gooker has been decided, and it is TNA's first: The New Monday Night Wars. Boy, that sure went well while it lasted, huh? Blade wanted Abyss and his Green Lantern ring and RD cheated by mentioning nominee Orlando Jordon in his writing.

There's talk of numbers in the upcoming Royal Rumble. RD wants defeated combatants to return to the ring but disguised in masks. But would the show handle itself well against the ratings powerhouse that is...the Pro Bowl? Here's a thought: combine the two outings: Have all the football players fight against each other in a wrestling ring. The winner gets the opportunity to be exempt from the next Pro Bowl.

RD (on Blade's 'soberness' at first): "You're doing good. I'm waiting for you to fall off the wagon."

:20 The show is "very amateurish". RD discovers Asian Helper, of the Helper genre of foods. Blade dreamed he met a still alive Tupac Shakur working in a fast food outlet. I bet RD would have dreamed about the Notorious BIG instead.

:24 Sid Vicious was arrested for marijuana possession. This of course logically leads to discussion about Spiderman and how Don once made fun of a comic book for some reason. Lizzie Valentine/Kandi Kisses turns down WWE. I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing.

Jillian Hall Tiffany and Maria want some sort of Divamania tour that is sure to bring fans by the...tens. RD reads their announcement about it very precisely. Then he does it in his Jeff Foxworthy voice.  Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness (losing the #2 sadly) were wrestling in Ottawa, Kansas. Popeye is interested. (:50)

Kurt Angle is a father again. In true celebrity fashion he has given his child a very strange name. RD should volunteer to be the babysitter so he can lull the child to sleep talking about Angle's moveset.

:55 Statement Of The Week: Adam W. of Facebook alerts the two on someone named 'Johnny C' disapproving of The Death Of WCW, somewhere around here. Blade disapproves of the disapproving by not even answering the guy's claims. RD has a more coherent and logical response to add to that.

Timeout real quick.

(I've always wanted to say write that.)

As much as Mr. Brakestown is a fine young egg (perhaps a pickled fine young egg from all the liquor he consumes), he really doesn't handle the essence of trolling, which is basically all that their critic is doing. (I think Chris Engler needs to send him a TrollTrolla to teach him what trolling is all about.) What he thinks he sees is some guy who, while he is definitely allowed his own opinion on whatever he wants (it's his right after all), is someone with actual power that has a physical affect on the world.

What Blade thinks he sees in an average troll: Not Big Daddy V as himself, but an Armored Troll threatening Aragorn at the Battle of the Black Gate in The Lord Of The Rings: The Return of The King. And by the way? Viggo Mortensen is ALSO a large fan of the Canadiens, which amuses me to no end.

But this is what he's actually seeing:

A troll doll. Note the intimidating stance, brutal viciousness, and evil glint in its visage.
Ignore its attempt to be a wizard. (Pink-Hair the Blue?)

...Not exactly the same thing. It would be like thinking of a cute Persian cat as an angry Siberian tiger. They MAY be related somehow, but they're not exactly the same thing.

And now you know. And knowledge is power. Guard it well.

[Also Scott if for some reason you're reading this since the site has since transformed into a Blog of DOOM, we should pit our Animal Crossing islands against one another. The loser has to buy Blade one of those troll dolls. - Future PB]

This, by the way, is also perhaps the longest they've ever answered a Question/Statement on the show. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing either.

:64 Blade's TNA mailman finally shows up to bad MIDI music. He calls himself The Honky Tonk Mailman. Wait...are we sure it's not John Kelly back from the dead? He steals people's Observers for his news reporting. He thus read-tells us about 88 year old Hogan's 'upcoming' marriage which will last two months. There's also some Pistol Pez Whatley stamp which is sure to be of more worth than anything Hulk is doing these days. (And should he get a big profit from the stamp he should use it to pay for a better Skype connection which breaks up from time to time.) Then he leaves for his Pink Cadillac, Thank you very much.

[On a personal note, I keep thinking of my fellow Forum friend (and friend of the Habitant, but not one of the Twelve) Darth Alexander, who uses the Honky Tonk Man as his avatar. I'll never think of one without thinking of the other, and vice versa.]

:75 The Royal Rumble returns to rear its roughened rump at us. RD wants Yoshi Tatsu to win. Blade wants Roddy Piper. There's some very confusing discussion about their Pro Bowl Bet thing. RD: "I would be senile if I told you you were not a drunk."

DDP is hosting Nitro DVDs. Bobby Heenan has his own DVD where everyone think he's dead (an in advance tribute DVD perhaps?).

Seventeen Syllablyastic Thoughts:

TNA Gooker.

Biggest award they have won.

Dixie must be proud.

Blade owes $3.00 ($12.25)

191 Ripped from the Headlies: January 21, 2011

71 minutes

WrestleCrap is new and improved! Now where have I heard that one before?

As mentioned from last week, the site has something new for the first time in over seven years. No, it is NOT the return of the Jobber Of The Week. On the top of the main page is a 'LiFi Scanner' that posts random words and phrases strung together into sentences to make what is commonly referred to as a 'joke' from a  Twitter account, with no other articles or sources related to said Tweets, which would be semi-frequently updating until the random headline generator behind it stops working or the figure behind the account gets bored of the whole ordeal. (And no, it's not me.) From that, fine young eggs Justin Henry and Sean Carless and Catherine Perez make 'humorous' wrestling related 'newz' in the form of WrestleCrap Headlies. Personally, that is about as clever as someone having the pen name of "Topsy Kretts".

So essentially WrestleCrap is trying its hand to be the Onion of the wrestling world/IWICK. (An OnionTrolla perhaps?) This isn't a bad thing of course, as both the Onion and the A.V. Club are really great sites. The question is how long they can maintain some sort of level over the long term, as much as the often absurd world of wrestling lends to its own self-parody and comedy. More importantly, would it be something that Dave Meltzer would finally be reporting on?

I admit, if I put any effort into it I may have some success also (alongside running this site of course). Hmmm...

Fresh from the LiFi Scanner: John Cena is set to star in The (Space) Marine 3: The Ultramarine (in Space). "This is taking 'U can't see me' to a whole new level," proclaimed WWE CEO Vince McMahon, "since now you can't see him in outer space as well as not seeing him in theaters." A collaboration with Games Workshop's popular sci-fi franchise Warhammer 40,000, Cena is to play Ultramarines Chapter Master Marneus Calgar, a well known and controversial figure thought by many within the community to be pushed and publicized too much despite he and his chapter being thought of as bland, generic, and unoriginal. "Any similarities between the two are totally coincidental and unrelated," Mr. McMahon said when asked about this. The former WWE World Champion said he looked forward to expand his acting abilities for the role by, to paraphrase him, "doing the Five Finger Shuffle in one of his trademark Power Fists." In addition to Mr. Cena, Paul "Triple H" Levesque is also to star as the God-Emperor of Mankind. Reports that Randy Orton would play the part of a still unannounced main villain and that the diminutive Hornswaggle was to play Calgar's comic relief sidekick were unconfirmed as of press time. Mr. McMahon was last seen in a nearby Games Workshop store complaining that the miniature figures that are the basis of the tabletop game did not have enough muscles on them, and was overheard suggesting giving them scale size ICOPRO supplements.

Heh, I can see why such diversions would be fun to write now. Perhaps next I'll see if this very site can be linked as an official source of wrestling news and have all the dirsheets coming to our digital doorstep, or what have you.

What isn't fun though is some Sad News, as we are reminded of John Kelly's 'departure' from the show last week due to an exhaustion of bad puns for Blade to try and fumble through. Blade's next replacement for the TNA reporting: his own mailman. Well that could be convenient; he could just mail his news in every week. (Insert laughing Krankor here.) Blade is also still confused about RD's Swear Jar.

:25 Random discussions about the Colts prevail. Blade's grade school constantly gave children erections. RD mercilessly needles him on this, forcing Blade to apologize for once. Sadly he does not seek revenge by asking to watch the music video for Hot for Teacher. Anyway, Bart's Red Cream Soda has returned to RD's Meijers. Is Loroza's Pizza next?

:35 Dustin "Screech" Diamond is now booking himself for wrestling. Hey, anyone remember when he was on Hogan's celebrity wrestling? Or anything about Hogan's celebrity wrestling nonsense thing at all? Yeah, me neither. Torrie Wilson is shilling some drug-like workout supplement with the very bad name of Diva Trim. The only thing we learn from it for sure is that Blade is so drunk he can't say the word supplement. There's some very small film footage for Trish Stratus's upcoming film Bail Enforcers, wherein she hits some criminal with a garbage can lid. On the other hand, it IS better than that god-damned trailer for The Chaperone, which was so bad that WWE tried to pull it off the interwebs.

:50 B.M. Punk calls in. His major complaint this time is that John Kelly very much sounded like him. Wow, how very meta. He also reports on Tammy Sytch's poop problems on Facebook. Shouldn't Satan be the one calling in for this? Social networking sites ARE his domain after all.

:55 Ultimate Kennedy (11) has a rather simple Question of a skinnier Vickie Guerrero on TV. Odd Christmas gifts are discussed.

The mailman didn't show up. I have a worrying feeling he's going to sound like Peter Gazer.

:59 Randy Savage is in promos for WWE's upcoming All-Stars video game, giving opportunity for Nintendo John to call. For some reason his audience is suffering from slow reaction times.

The Royal Rumble is changing itself by adding 10 more jobbers for a total of 40 combatants. Wow, that's not a wrestling match, that's a fucking raid group in vanilla World Of Warcraft. Forget trying to handle the Twin Emperors in the ring, I wonder how they'll be able to fit them inside. They're gonna need a bigger boat, is what I'm thinking.

Seventeen Syllables:

Forty Man Rumble.

Wrestling bores me so much now

I'll need a Forty.

Blade owes RD $2.25 for this week, for a combined total of $9.25 from last week.

190 Resolution: January 14, 2011

95 minutes

- Hunt down Johnny Ace

It's nice to see Blade try (and fail) to be more clean. To use a Blade-style analogy, it's like watching a cripple try and climb a flight of stairs unaided. RD thinks of using a Swear Jar for that task.

Both Co-Fruitcakes had a boring New Year's Eve. Blade was injured while RD fell asleep before midnight. RD is selling old movies on eBay if you're also interested in getting equally bored for the NEXT New Year's. Blade models his life after Randy Savage.

RD wants to 'turn things around' for the site (:09) by making a new column for it. The rest of his talk is just rambling about the progrem. Bad quality sounds of lightning and Blade being clean interrupts RD's shilling. (:14)

:18 Blade tries some Throwback Doritos (not made from natural sugar). He approves.

:22 Tammy Sytch is writing a cookbook on indiegogo.com (and not belly dancing!) that can be funded by just about anyone, quite similar to the Rose's movie that was mentioned and promptly forgotten about last year. Let's just hope she doesn't have any recipes involving eggs. RD thinks she will belly dance based on the "gogo" part of the url. For once, Blade has to explain to him the concept of crowdfunding. Yes, I know.

David Arquette is in rehab...since December. Boy, that's some hot latest wrestling news for you. Dave Meltzer can only marvel at such speed. SPEAKING OF, Blade's ex-girlfriend did not like RD's gift screensaver of the former WCW Champion. (:30)

Ashley Massaro will be on a bad sounding copy of The Bachelorette with potential suitors actually fighting for her. RD has to explain nicknames of their Divas to new listeners. Blade loses track. Is the Midnight Rose homeless? (:40)  He'll be wrestling in Ottawa (in Kansas, far south of Canada) on the 21st and is also to be getting his own well made tour T-shirts.

:45 Question Of The Week: TV's Mr. Neil of Facebook wants a new football bet. Blade wants to bet on the Pro Bowl. RD accepts, but he'd prefer to bet on if the game is actually good.

:49 Ed Salo's Trash Baggin' won this year's FFL with a 5-8 record. RD calls him up. He once again answers sleepily. He wins despite not properly updating his roster from week to week, but he has a field day having fun with it all. He rewarded himself with a Classic Boo Berry shirt. RD dismisses him by ending the Skype conversation.

:59 John Kelly. Something about making an actual feud based on that fucking blasted love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle. See, THIS is why TNA is failing.

Blade can't get through his bad jokes anymore so the Ratings Reaper returns from his exile since the Roast to claim him. (I sincerely hope this is also how Horatio Caine meets his end when they cancel CSI: Miami.)

:67 Mike Check calls from prison to pad out the progrem length. He was once based Tuskaloosa's WEAT "Eat In Tuskaloosa" as Jammin' Jay Duvall, and with Pete "PB" Basille did "Lunch with PB & Jay" Taylor Wilde has retired rather than continue to work in the healthy environment that is TNA. Of course, Mike has always wanted to get Wilde with her. This is also probably the first I've heard Cat Stevens on US-based radio in years.

:75 Shawn Michaels is going to the Hall Of Fame. This is a good an excuse as any for Jim Ross to call in. He resolves to get Andre's HOF ring for his penis. Let's hope Hollywood John doesn't claim it first.

There is still a week left as of this writing to vote for the Gooker. This year we have: Abyss and his Hulk Hogan Green Lantern-style ring, Edge kidnapping Paul Bearer, The New Monday Night War, another blasted Hornswaggle angle, Orlando Jordan, THEY (Bischoff and Hogan) 'coming' to TNA, John Cena getting 'fired' yet still showing up for work, Standing Up for Linda's Senate Bid, NXT Season 3, and Bret Hart Vs. Vince McMahon.

Mike Adamle was caught drunk driving. Blade has one piece of ACTUAL advice for him: get drunk at home instead.

Seventeen Syllables of advice for him:

Adamle's a lush.

He needs a new role model:

Mister Blade Braxton.

Blade owes RD $7 at the end of all this.

189 White Christmas: December 21, 2010

91 minutes

RD knows about Blade's drunkenness beforehand, so he's ready to deflect his early bad jokes. Santa likes them though, and RD plays his crazy laughter from another famous bad movie to needle Blade's bawdiness. (Santa Claus Conquers The Martians) He should do that more often in my opinion.

:16 Five year old RD Junior is more mature than the radio progrem. SPEAKING OF people being mature, Blade wants to continue hosting the show with him when he gets of age, assuming he doesn't die or become Mike Check's new bunk-mate. Regardless, his local Santa has a barely disguised trash can as a 'postbox'. On the subject of other uses for a trash can, Blade is still thinking with his penis, angering RD to no end. His grandfather didn't have to put up with any of THAT stuff in his time!

:23 Batista's daughter has her own sex tape. Is that like a rite of passage nowadays? Fortunately RD shares my mischievous way of thinking and gets cleverly crafted revenge by 'leaving' for a few minutes. Thus, what would normally have been generic Sad News about some randomly generic woman connected to the New York Giants turning down an offer to work with WWE is made infinitely funnier, as drunk Blade is left stumbling over his lines and repeating himself, while (if you listen very closely) you can hear RD laugh quietly in the background. He should REALLY do this more often.

Meanwhile Scott Hall caused a 'disturbance' at a gas station. That's all we get from the Faxtrolla, which raises an important question: Was he being disturbed over the high cost of gas? This gives Blade license to shout randomly.

:38 'Satan' calls, sounding far more sober and calmer than Blade. Something's not right here...This time Shane Helms is angry at Shawn Michaels for some reason or other. Then again most people are too so it's not particularly uncommon or out of character really.

:43 John Kelly has another bad 'pun'/legal advice about Tara/Victoria's Custom Shop almost burning down.

:47 RD has had enough and skips to opening presents.

• Harry Simon sent RD some video tapes. 
• Kelly sent RD Rifftrax's DVD of Plan 9 From Outer Space, always a winner. 
• Steven Breech sent Blade some action figures, some of them decapitated. He also had a He-Man bag clip thing. 
• Stevey J sent RD some nice foods from Montreal and a Rocky III Thunderlips figure (not decapitated). 
• Fire At The Time sent Blade Lita's Bestiality Video (on DVD!) as well as some trading cards for the duo. RD got a Tommy Dreamer on the toilet figure. 
• Ed Salo sent the duo some Japanese cereal. He also found an old tabloid article about Ric Flair seemingly help plan Operation Desert Storm.
• The Gillman sent a donation to the site, which was very charitable of him. 

:67 From Jake "Yippee" Lloyd Jr., RD gets his figure and a really old Star Wars game. Jake also sent Blade a throw of Boba Fett and Mickey Mouse as Luke. Stubby sent RD The Twilight Zone's Willie the dummy. Blade also sent him a King Pedophile shirt.

All-Time leader in Trashbags

Blade's last gift is perhaps the most interesting of all. (If you can call it that.) (:74) RD sent him an audio CD that's basically the sports equivalent of one of those personalized children's books where they find themselves within the story. In this case, Blade is the QB of the Lions (and a beacon of the community too at that), leading them against Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. RD plays an early excerpt but you can listen to the whole thing here. Now I wonder how it would sound if I were Captain of the Habitant playing against Detroit for the Stanley...[Hopefully better than this - Clarence]

:80 The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes have a 'gift' for the Listeners: a WCR rendition of The Twelve Days Of Christmas, made through a 'get together as a group' of the progrem's cast of characters that RD & Blade could do impressions of. Apparently they've already forgotten about the last time they got together, at the Roast, which was just months ago. Well, when it turned out like that, I'd try and forget about it too. Cue out of tune music.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas

On the First Day Of Christmas C.S. Irwin gave to me...
A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Second Day Of Christmas Angry Jim gave to me...
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for Johnny Ace and one for McMahon)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Third Day Of Christmas Gay Popeye gives to me...
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk. 
2 Fuck Yourselves (one for RD and one for Blade)
And A Partridge in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fourth Day Of Christmas Satan gave to me...
4 Virgin Sacrifices
3 Well Blow Me...Downs! Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Bottles of lube (my wife hasn't fucked me in about two years)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Fifth Day Of Christmas Sir Alec gave to me...
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessed Wrestlers
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Years...of your wife not fucking you
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Sixth Day Of Christmas Dixie gave to me...
6 Sugar Cookies (to make a Samoa Joe snowman)
5 Long John Douches (right underneath the table)
4 Possessed Facebook Profiles
3 Big and Burly's
2 Bankrupt Restaurants
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Seventh Day Of Christmas Stubby gave to me...
7 Sleazy Crack Whores 
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches (gotta love that malt vinegar) 
4 Daemonic Twitters
3 Chocolate Turnovers
2 Nuts in Dark Journey's Mouth
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Eighth Day Of Christmas Nintendo John gave to me...
8 Power Gloves on the Nintendo (His audience cheers)
7 Contaminated Meals
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Evil MySpaces
3 Requests For Peter Gazer's Phone Number
2 Fuck Yourselves
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On the Ninth Day Of Christmas Mike Check he's going to give to you...
9 Bumper Stickers (from WSUX in Tuscaloosa, Alabama where he was Danny Dryson, and with Washington Jones did the Wash'N'Dry for the Tide)


RD: "I like it the song has come to a complete stop while he keeps talking."


8 Super Mario Games on the Nintendo
7 Sloppy Blow-Jobs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Failed Exorcisms
3 Periscopes
2 Assholes Shoved Up (Jim!)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas Midnight Rose gave to me...
10 Dead Cockroaches
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Amazon Chops
7 Premature Ejaculations
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Possessions Of Sunny
3 Dock Dinghies
2 Meat Beatings
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas B.M. Punk gave to me...


(RD interrupts before he can shoot his load, the Scrooge)


On The Eleventh Day Of Christmas R.D. Reynolds gave to me...
11 SPEAKING OFs...Verne Gagne masturbating
10 Copies of Maria's New Album
9 Bumper Stickers
8 Pro-Am On The Nintendo!
7 Bottles Of Wood Polish
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Bowls Of Pea Soup Vomit
3 Nights With Pluto
2 Feathered Boas
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

On The Twelth Day Of Christmas Blade Braxton gave to me...
12 Cans Of Miller Lite (and maybe 10 JPEGs of Mickie James naked too)
11 SPEAKING OFs
10 Scars From Eating Some Holiday Pineapple All Night Long
9 Bumper Stickers


Blade: "You're making this song feel like The 500 Days Of Christmas, buddy."


8 Back Issues Of Nintendo Power Magazine
7 Oozing STDs
6 Sugar Cookies
5 Long John Douches
4 Linda Blair Nude Photos
3 Not Just Spinach that Gay Popeye likes in the can, Ah gyuk-gyuk-gyuk-gyuk.
2 Packs Of Beef Jerky from JR's Restaurant (and not from that cocksucker Hillbilly Jim)
And A Partridge...in a Pear Tree. (YEAHHH...)

188 Buying Buttons: December 3, 2010

87 minutes

Blade being still as lazy (and drunk) as ever gives RD pause. He and Don went to a Misfits show and went to the dentist's (though not at the same time.) He attributes this to 'basic chemistry'.

Sad News: RD & Blade are currently at the bottom of the FF league...while I am second. Hmmm. Blade's brother-in-law had a fantasy team named the Manboobie Bombers. I'm surprised Blade didn't beat him to the punch to name his own team that.

:20 Mama keeps breaking plates. RD's latest Black Friday outing took him to three stores opening earlier than usual. At Target the woman in front of RD has troubles getting a discount with candy bars. At Meijer someone had a full cart of strawberries and one (1) cucumber. Popeye is interested. At Menards the Chick-Fil-A cow paid a visit providing free cocoa for all. A woman in line used a wheelchair for a cart. Perhaps she somehow gained temporary superhuman strength to get through the day's challenges? [Well Black Friday Woman would make a better superhero than Subtracting Man at least - Clarence]

:42 Blade & Corey & Don went to see the Misfits while in Kansas. (Blade is reminded of that time Don peed on a cripple.) Wearing his Rose mask he managed to get Jerry Only to go with a Celebrity TRIP with him, where we find that he loves the Peanut Butter Crunch and calls RD an elephant.

:52 'Satan' calls again. Marty Jannetty is now rapping on New Jack's FB page. His 'lyrics' are so bad that even RD has to censor him. That's unnecessary in my opinion; after all, only 12 people listen to this show and they're probably too socially insecure to contact their local representative to tell them their sensibilities are being offended. Bah!

:59 Was Mickie James exposed? She had some sort of nipple slip and her dress went flying away while performing. Blade is of course very amused.

:63 RD prefers Blade's Question to the one actually sent this week (by Shawn). A minute later John Kelly calls to discuss Jeff Hardy's strange looking belt. He's so bad that David Lee Roth soundboards in just to say "No." Is he the new Chief Jay Strongbow now? RD wastes time reading about a children's game on Wikipedia.

:73 Someone (Caitlyn) wins on a show (NXT) not even on TV any more. New world champion Miz went against Jerry Lawler for a bit. Blade discovers Hardy's belt has Don's mask on it. Looks like it's time for Jeff to bring out the corn oil! John "Yawn" Cena still shows up on TV despite being 'fired'. His Mexican cousin Juan Cena is now on the air with him.

Seventeen Holiday Syllables on him:
Mexican Cena.
What is his Spanish catchphrase?
"¿You can't si me?"

187 The Final Frontier...Of Crap!: November 24, 2010

80 minutes

RD gives a disclaimer: This was recorded on Monday night, around the same time that the Miz defeated CM Punk to become WWE Champion. Obviously BM is not happy.

Sad News: Jillian Hall has been released. Blade wants to ring a bell for her. Luke Gallows was also released, but since he was basically Blade's clone he doesn't really care. Also, Blade looked Husky Harris on the days that he didn't look like Brian Pillman.

With the previous episode being really good (in their opinion anyway), they thus have the fearful thought that today's would not be terrible in response...like Star Trek III. I don't know, it wasn't THAT bad. I mean, have they seen the recent J.J. Abrams movie?

Or the Voyager episode "Threshold" for that matter.

Old School RAW somehow brought back Lord Alfred through a terrible impersonation, so Blade counters with HIS terrible Lord Alfred impersonation. Needless to say it sounds too Oriental, like Christopher Lee when he played Fu Manchu. (Assuming anyone could see him anyway.) They thus wonder how Global Internet's Greg's voice impersonations would go. (Probably surprisingly well, in my opinion.) Blade gets strange dreams dozing off while listening to them discuss Craig DeGeorge on earlier episodes. Also for Thanksgiving, a special treat: All 6 WC DVDs can be yours for just $21! (Too bad I already have them all.) Be warned, their books now look different somehow.

:24 RD took another trip to Disneyland in the last few days. While waiting in line to Captain EO he saw someone shill for the TNA taping taking place nearby. Needless to say, few came. (Now why do I feel Clarence will write something about this this week?) Also for some reason some promotional advertising Shrek 4D seemed to involve SoCal Val. The two wonder on the mystery of her vanishing nose.

:39 A George Foreman biopic may have Ernest "The Kat" Miller in the title role. [No doubt this will have George calling someone's momma after he gets "Rope-a-Doped" - Clarence] On the other end of the movie making business Joanie Laurer attempts to squash rumors she is making another porn movie. SPEAKING OF the strange things people do,  Blade's ex-girlfriend got angry over yet another picture of a wrestling diva.

:51 The Devil makes another call in. He reveals his plan of taking over the world through social networking sites. This time Tammy Sytch is angry at WWE yet again for passing her by on their Legends show. Then Satan wishes the two a Happy Thanksgiving. He's nothing if not considerate, I'll give him that.

:56 Jim Ross calls in, angry as ever, especially considering he was recently at the Legends show. He's making his time losing money by selling turkeys from ice cream vans. Needless to say it did not go well. Now, if he had turkey flavored ice cream...

Meanwhile Mickey James is going to have Meet & Greet in Virginia. Of course Blade would probably miss his chance to go see her.

:66 John Kelly calls. There are rumors that Hogan's gotten married to someone who is looks like Brooke. His puns are all over the place in response, causing RD to finally admit he doesn't think of him as a good TNA correspondent any more. This means only one thing - he's going to have a 'tragic' death soon. I fully expect Jimmy Smits to replace him for the role.

:71 The latest DVD release of the Top 50 Superstars in WWE History did not go well with many people, due to the fact that Hogan is #23, ahead of Bruno Sammartino.

Seventeen (plus Five) Syllables of exception to it:
Top 50 Wrestlers.
What a total load of shit.
Where are Ax and Smash?/Where is Adonis?

RD "I don't think a lot of people will be thankful for this show."

186 Show me...Hulk's penis!: November 5, 2010

82 minutes

[X][X][X]

"Old School RAW" is upcoming, but it does not seem to involve Rob Bartlett or the Rizzotti sisters, according to pwinsider.com. Lord Alfred shills while Blade interrupts promotional consideration. Yes he's drunk. How ever did you guess?

:16 RD talking about Slim Jims is interrupted by Blade being interrupted by crickets, 'senate news', eating Slim Jims with Don (which is not even a Don story) and an ACTUAL Don story, where he molested a girl at seven with a stick. His music plays throughout.

:24 Hillbilly Jim has made some kind of jerk beef turkey. Jealous of this, a very angered Jim Ross calls. RD gets rid of him by asking about his wife.

:29 Some things are going on at NXT, most notably a 'fake wedding' between Oksana Baiul and Goldust with reference to Johnny Ace, Ted DiBiase Sr presiding, Border Patrol Officer Dick Apopolos in attendance, Michael Cole's gong, and Caitlyn. Meanwhile Jeff Hardy is now a father. (:39) Also, Blade & Midnight Rose seem to be tag teaming at various places.

:45 Sir Alec and his audience entourage are currently visiting Philadelphia at Ultimate Kennedy's story request, or so he says. The real reason however, is that he wants to help thrash the old Spectrum. He reads something about Kane and the Undertaker's brotherly love, in the literal sense.

:53 Blade tells a story about his strange ex-girlfriend that he promised he would tell from last week, for some reason using some music from Psycho. Was her last name Bates or something? One time she was sick of Eric Bischoff on her TV screen.

:56 Question. Sergei on Facebook wonders how come when one wrestler enters, often the other wrestler vacates the ring for him. Blade thinks of it as a matter of pride.

:62 SPEAKING of wonderings, John Kelly reminds us of TNA being on Family Feud. This for some reason warrants RD and Blade going at each other at the Face Off. RD gets the number one answer when he wants a GLOW run in at the game show. Then John leaves. 

:67 Linda loses her election, Vince loses his erection, and they both lose $50 million. Lita returns to RAW, to Blade's delight. What he is NOT delighted about is Pee Wee Herman guest hosting, as he reflects on the strange man. RD apologizes for him. Also Hogan flashed his penis while playing some game or other while Brooke was watching. There's probably an incest joke to be made here (but not by me).

Seventeen Syllables about Hulk Hogan's penis:
Hulk's exposed penis.
He got 'Juicy' with Brooke and Hart.
Limp five inch python.

185 Bloody Halloween: October 29, 2010

81 minutes

Blade is 'sober' again on this special Halloween, which once again involves Roddy Piper PSAs. Something involving the theme song to Over The Top.

:20 The Trip is going in circles/time loops. Quisp cereal. Swearing at restaurants. Arby's Chocolate Turnover is something BM Punk would like.

RD breaks the cycle and knocks on the door so Popeye can visit, playing his theme music on speakerphone. (:26) He brings his 'nephews' Huey, Dewie and Louie, Pimpeye, Peepeye and Poopeye who sound like Jake Lloyd Jr, for trick or treating. Blade doesn't give them anything as they didn't follow Roddy's rules. "If you're old enough to knock up a woman, you're too old to be knocking on doors on Halloween," says he. "And make sure whenever you knock up that woman, you say please and thank ya!" adds RD.

:32 RD wants you to Sit Down For WrestleCrap. The Great Khali is appearing in the Indian variant of Big Brother because 'his wife wanted him to'. The show is named Big Boss for some reason, but unfortunately I don't believe David Hayter would be involved in any capacity with it. Meanwhile the Boogeyman is now calling himself Slither. Blade yawns.

:38 For some reason Satan, i.e. the Devil, calls in, fully prepared with the theme to The Exorcist. Dirty Dutch Mantell is talking smack on his Facebook page. Wait, he has a Facebook page? This 'Devil' has more important things to do, like laugh evilly at his favorite team New Jersey for burning $100 million dollars on Ilya Kovulchuk, so he randomly says 'I'm leaving now' and uses the midi Star Trek TNG music to disappear. I wonder, could he be... RD once again calls the show incomprehensible.

Sad News to Blade: the original Centaur Jenna Van Oy has recently married. Our current Centaur looked great on TNA, according to Blade's nonsense rapping. She's also going to be 'auctioned' for charity like some kind of prop. For some reason Blade wants to win the auction with a roofie, if he doesn't pull a Don Mason and take it himself before hand of course.

:50 Jim Ross calls in. Angered by legends shows done by other wrestlers, and the failure of his lawn mowing BBQ business, he decides to make his own UWF Haunted House. Featuring Sting as the Invisible Man! Of course, he can only attract one customer with his $200 fee. (Was it Steve Williams?)

:60 Ultimate Kennedy (10) asks about the perfect employee smell. Blade says tuna.

SPEAKING OF employees John Kelly calls, on track to break the TNA Corresponding record. Of course there's a problem, as Blade's street has suddenly transformed into a stock car racetrack. After we learn that Katie Lee Burchill will appear on TNA as Winter, J.K. gives everyone a near scare when he gets hit by a Pontiac (driven by the Devil, one would wonder) [The Devil can't play a fiddle. What chance does he have to drive a stick shift? - Clarence]. Thankfully he manages to evade becoming his own crime scene by doing a Starsky and Hutch style dodge over the car roof.

:69 RD and Blade make fun of the foolish wrestling community for thinking that the Undertaker would brawl with Brock Lesnar while watching him at an MMA match. Huey has a laughing fit at this. Voters in Connecticut are (finally? I guess) allowed to wear WWE shirts while at the booths. I don't really get it either.

Laying down Seventeen Syllables to get us out of it:
Wrestling shirts at polls.
Why Vince sued Connecticut.
Linda still won't win.