296 Cam-Eye: July 23, 2020

Eye Quit!

109 minutes

Blade prepared himself by remembering a number. RD uses his degree in broadcast journalism to do bad impersonations.

Blade wants someone to write them a script for one episode, which they won't follow because it won't fit on a paper plate. (:06)

Blade entertains the people. (:08) RD wants to bribe people to listen. His Etsy shop has a new name.

RD is discovering the power of grocery delivery and item substitution...from Kroger. This scares Blade. (:17) His favorite United Dairy Farmers' Chocolate Chip was replaced by Toffee & Chip. This possesses Mama for some reason. (:24)

Sebastian Bach, formerly of Skid Row and not the WCR Quartet, has beef with Chris Jericho "miming" for some reason. (:25) Cue Jericho promoing against him. Cue Bach wanting a fight. Blade has to read things without Satan/Stan to do so. They play something of Jericho proving himself by copying RD. RD gongs him. He then does his own attempt on Ricky in his Nathaniel impression. He gongs himself. Blade then does his own attempt on I Remember You by fucking it up immediately. RD gongs him. His second attempt goes slightly better. RD gongs him again anyway. Blade makes excuses.

Miss Elizabeth has a new action figure. There's no word on whether it also functions as an ATM. (:38) While in the UK earlier in the year (before the rest of the year happened) Blade was surprised how many people did not like her by not buying her doll. Wendi Richter too also has a new action figure. Blade finds himself stymied by not being able to offend like he used to. He once saw a Richter pencil eraser. LJN was once to make a Haiti Kid figure.

Mickie James wants to "run" for "president" in news already reported on by Raging_Demons...somewhere. (:44) Will her agenda be based on trains running on time and a free horse for everyone? RD does his Jeff Foxworthy impression if possible. He thinks of making the site more redneck since he can't fully escape his hillbilly roots. I reckon.

As already reported on...by me, Tam has been arrested. (:48) Even worse, some of her OnlyFans stuff was leaked before that. What a shock. RD expects her to pop back soon, and if so to come after Blade since he's a "reporter".

Blade's royalty checks are being sent to an old address. (:56) Sean C. McLaughlin of Facebook has a question about Cody. So of course the two discuss Rebel instead. Blade has a short attention span. What a shock. RD finds Maryse more attractive nowadays as a mother (MHLF?).

The two's dismissive opinion on Randy "Cody" Orton is unchanged. RD looks up the ever accurate Wikipedia to read more about him that one time he was with Ted DiBiase Jr., Sim Snuka, and Cody. The two cough dryly at this. RD: "Poor Sim Snuka. I don't even know who he is."

Who would run gallop with Mickie James? (:68) RD wants the Deever, $20 on Cameo Jackie Gayda, and Taryn Terrell. Blade wants the Deever's bad impression on Cameo, Jim Crockett, Demolition Axe (not Smash?), Trish Stratus, and the Black Scorpion who can make the debt disappear (or transform it into a tiger).

As expected the two are distracted by who is on Cameo, including $20 Shelly Martinez and $50 Vince Russo.

RD skips ejaculating to Ken Pantera swinging so he can play Higher or Lower on Cameo instead of pretending to talk about wrestling news. (:84)

• Lita $100 < Rikishi $109 (Blade is 0 of 1)
• Bret Hart $150 > Kevin Nash $105 (0/2)
• Torrie Wilson $65 < Baron von Raskhe $125 (0/3)
• Diamond Dallas Page $90 < Tatanka Buffalo $100 (1/4)
• Ted DiBiase $75 < Ryback $100 (2/5)

WWE is seeing TNA level ratings such that Vince (McMahon) may also have to be on Cameo. Blade was lucky to miss the latest PPV so RD has to fill him in on what transpired for some reason (since he had to suffer through it on his own). In response Blade declares his secession from the WWE Universe.

Speaking of low ratings, let Mike Check tell you about helicopters once again. (:96) For some reason he did not like Robin Williams or Jonathan Winters in the Mork & Mindy market (perhaps due to it being in space sometimes with that Popeye impression of his, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk). In Phoenix's KLPS Lips 103, he was Duncan Jones, he had to fly a helicopter there with Sandy Roberts, and together they did the Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Weather Report. This makes Blade cough with laughter. He leaves with a request from a "Dominick" for Willie Nelson.

Par for the course, with this show your hopes will have to wait:
Eye For An Eye match.
Book another one next year.
Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To/Coasty Marshmellow, Troma Dance 2020, Skyline Drive Thru
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Mimingtoatape.com
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Patreon and WrestleCrapRadio.com, drive in movie theaters, hot, someone reckon their lives.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Mike Check
  

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  5
• Blade Time Outs:  14 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps:  4
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  4
• You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Sean C McG
  
• AEW Dynamite is supposed to have a surprise opponent for Cody and maybe more.  What won’t be the surprise? Sim Snuka (RD) or Randy Orton (Blade).
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  If Mickie James runs for President, who should her running mate be?
• RD:  Taryn Terrell, Jackie Gayda, Layla El
• Blade:  Black Scorpion, Demolition Ax, Trish Stratus (previously Jim Crockett)

 

• Hi Lo Cameo!  The game where you pick who you think charges more.
• Lita or Rikishi?  Blade:  Lita.  Incorrect.
• Bret Hart or Kevin Nash? Blade:  Nash.  Incorrect.  
• Torrid Wilson or Baron Von Raschke? Blade:  Torrie Wilson. Incorrect.
• DDP or Tatanka (Buffalo)? Blade:  Tatanka. Correct.
• Ted DiBiase or Ryback? Blade:  Ryback. Correct.

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  KLPS Lips 103 (Phoenix, AZ)
• Radio Call Sign:  Duncan Jones 
• Partner: Sandy Roberts
  
• Show:  Sandy Duncan Eye in the Sky Traffic Report
• Song:  "In My Mother’s Eyes" by Willie Nelson 

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Take two?
  Eye For An Eye match.
  Book another one next year.
  Rey, Shawn, and Gibson.
  

295 eBay at the Beach: June 30, 2020

RD: "Was fun till Sunny"

75 minutes

RD wanted to wait things out for a few days due to current events. That took longer than expected.

Then Blade got a brutal ear infection. That didn't help either.

Driven to the brink and at the last minute, they decide to cut their losses and record now. It technically still counts as June, right?

According to their (barnyard) logic, if King Kong Bundy always insisted on a 5-count for his matches, then Hulk Hogan should have always kicked out at 4.

Blade has a habit of bowling with smoke bombs on July 4th. (:08) RD: "Thanks for explaining how the calendar works."

Thus, today's pressed for time radio progrem consists of the two just going through eBay auctions (keyword 'wcw'). (:14) Blade wants to search by proximity for some reason despite being in no condition to perform.

• Blade: Three Sting figures for $38.50 (all prices are USD). 
• A 1999 DDP with magnetic grip. 
• RD: An 8 inch 1997 Sting. 
• Random computer games including WCW Nitro and something called "Airplanes" which is actually a demo disc for Wings of Glory (produced by Warren Spector!). RD rightfully calls it a ripoff. 
• Blade: A $10 Goldberg VHS tape.
• RD: 61 figures for $195.
• 53 figures with DVDs (do any of them contain Goldberg?)
• A $98 1993 Sid Vicious figure. A "mountain of muscle" with half the brain that you do.
• Blade: A figure of Jimmy Hart in a yellow suit masquerading as Hulk Hogan.
• A vibrating Scott Hall figure infested with fleas.
• RD: 10 miles from his house (but with free shipping): A rain-covered baby carrier.
• VHS tapes for $45.
• A tape of Wrestlewar '89 for $19.
• Blade: 30 miles from his trailer: Brian Pillman and Chris Benoit masquerading as D-X.
• More vibrating figures of Andre the Giant and Kevin Nash.
• RD: Scott Hall with Toad shaped chest hair.
• A "loose" Fabulous Moolah (but does she vibrate?).
• Blade: 50 miles from his trailer: A Fall Brawl / WarGames 1995 Snapback hat for the low low price of $130.
• "Sold Cut" Kevin Nash (no word on if he's portrayed by a fake Diesel). 
• RD found a seller of autographed cards. He makes Blade guess some of their prices (for 2014). Stan Lane: $17. Kevin von Erich: $35. Booker T: $9. Eric Bischoff: $20. "James E. Cornette": $38 (Does not come with sexual harassment as illustrated). Terri Runnels: $20 (Does not come with handgun or scam house as illustrated). A Konnan scribble: $11. Dennis Condrey: "only" $9. A Ryan Shamrock illustration where Blade thinks her nose is too unhealthily red: $20. 

The two then go international. Blade will search by highest price first, RD by lowest.

• Blade: $12000 for a "bundle" of video wrestling footage.
• RD: 75¢ auction for "1991 Championship Marketing WCW #10 Sid Vicious Wrestling Card" with the man tied down with plastic. He bids on it.
• $1 1995 Jerry Sags with a picture of Brian Knobbs.
• Blade: $9999.99 + $5 shipping MINT 9 1988 Lex Luger rookie card.
• $8000 for a sealed VHS "private collection". Includes a German version of Road Wild '96, or as they call it, "Wild in Sturgis '96". RD sneezes as his bid.
• $7500 1995 WCW Main event Nasty Boys rookie card.
• RD: 99¢ Hollywood & Vine as Steve Austin. He wants to put that on one of his coasters.
• $1.69 1999 Brian Knobbs card.
• Blade: $5500 WrestleMania 6 Bobby Heenan Jacket.
• $5000 GEM-MT 10 Kimberly Page rookie card.

Since they're on the subject, the two then look for Tam stuff (to have fun with).

• Blade: $1500 for a "superstars 1 of 100" figure. This is the highest priced.
• The next item is $800 (also a superstars figure).
• Then $500 (ditto).
• Then $320 for a WWF 1998 Calendar CD that Blade already has.
• Then $130 for a "Sunny & Sid Ahmed Johnson Signed WWF WWE 1997 Bend-Ems Action Figure Set".
• RD: There is no Sunny within 95 miles of his house (thankfully). 165 miles from his house: A 1998 "Get Pumped" Deadstock shirt for $200.
• A 1996 Sunny Days print ad for a life management program for $2.30. RD: "I don't want her in charge of anything."
• A $5 Sunny in Chains photo from Australia.
• A 1996 Sunny Daze Collection print ad for $8.
• A completed listing from Fort Mitchell, Kentucky for an "Absolutely Sunny" shirt. Sold on the 13th for $50 despite the lack of a chin.

Blade: "Pretend I'm your father."

RD does the Haiku since Blade is still in no condition to perform:
What a show this was.
To be honest, was not bad.
Was fun till Sunny.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 1. Smokebombbowling.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Worst ear infection of all time.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  3
  
• Blade Time Outs: 4 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Under the weather Blade reaches to RD for the hot tag on the haiku this week:
  What a show this was.
  To be honest, was not bad.
  Was fun till Sunny.

 

294 Sleep Stampede: May 25, 2020

One of the 12 listeners during this episode...with worst looking belt.

76 minutes

Blade is already sleepy in the afternoon. It's almost as if he's doing actual work! He is spending his time indoors re-listening to the whole podcast and slowly going mad, poor bastard. He tried the whole Star Trek canon, before he got distracted to Troma movies, before he got distracted again.

Blade: "My mind has a tendency of wondering."
RD: "I've never noticed this."

Distracted Blade is also a master of timing.
Blade: "Our big anniversary shows have been timed so they're like...double bombastic. Our 200th episode was our 5th anniversary show."
RD: "The output ain't what it once was, kids."
...
Blade: "You guys should have heard me back when we started this show."
RD: "It's amazing how much funnier we are off the air."

RD suspects I have bugged the tin can and string so I can get the jump on insulting and mocking Brad.

...

He is absolutely correct. How did he know? I guess I have to readjust my ways now. For one thing, I need to update my SpyTrolla 5000.

Blade never likes going to the grocery regardless of the situation, unlike RD. (:14) The latter went with his wife to Sam's Club to purchase a giant 2 pack (11 ounces each) of Red, White and Blue Crunch. Blade has an unopened box of Boo Berry from 2004 with 11 servings in it.

RD repeats month-old news about XFL Commissioner Oliver Luck suing Vince for $25 million. (:21) Anyway, Vince may be trying to secretly buy it back. You don't say. [Or maybe not? Or maybe not not?]

Jim calls to get annoyed by RD. (:27) He's stuck at an Arizonan bookstore for his "book tour" and wants to live in RD's basement. RD gives him and by extension Blade some advice. "Shove this show up your ass!" Jim replies in between (Blade's) laughing.

You know what that means...?

Bitey "might be over the show" according to Blade. (:31)

Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch are expecting. This angered Jim Cornette for some reason.

Matt Striker is a reality show contestant competing to impregnate somebody. I don't know either. [If you were wondering he finished 8th on "Labor of Love". - Erik Majorwitz]

Mickie James now has a podcast of her own, with Victoria and SoCal Val as "Grown Ass Women". (:38) The two approve of their attempt.

Tam is back on OnlyFans. (:44) The two do not approve of her attempt. RD does his Nathaniel impression. Even Blade is slightly tongue-tied.

RD: "It's not that you've matured and you've become a better person; it's just due to being lazy."
...
Blade: "I'm better than you."

Simon Beach is first on Facebook. He asks how Parts Unknown is dealing with the lockdown. (:50) RD ignores Blade's response since it involves his mythical Yearbook.

What are some great looking belts? (:51) Blade has a seizure trying to understand what RD has to say. He likes the 80's green Intercontinental, Savage's winged eagle, and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. RD instead has the worst looking belts: Warrior's rainbows, the Cena spinner (ruthlessly aggressive spinning!), and Demolition's classic Tag Team Championship. It ruined Ric Flair's original run with the digitized Big Gold Belt such that he once had to carry a Tag Team belt. This was done instead of, say, WWF crafting another, like what Ted DiBiase once did in that one vignette. RD wishes there was a playset for that, but they leave discussion of that for another later recording.

Double or Nothing's Stadium Stampede greatly pleased the two, even without any angry cows or bulls (doesn't the horse count?). (:66) RD remembers when Sammy Guevara was in WWE only for Lacey Evans to make fun of him. Show attendee Iron Mark yawns.

Some Syllables:
Tyson All Elite.
He was there to present the belt.
Double or Not-yawn.

"I fell asleep; that haiku had eighteen syllables."



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, What Ganon Is Up To
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. RD and Blade, horrible NES games.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Just woke up.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jim, Iron Mark Tyson
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  2
  
• Blade Time Outs: 8 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Wait a second)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Simon Beach
• How do you think Parts Unknown is coping with the global lockdown?  What’s their plan going forward to protect lines and reopen Parts Unknown High?  That’s a good one. (Blade with his last gasp breath)

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Three best/worst looking championship belts
• RD:  (worst) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, any Cena spinner belt, any Ultimate Warrior pastel leather belt
• Blade:  (best) WWF Tag Team Championship belt, WWF Winged Eagle World Championship belt, Green WWF Intercontinental Belt

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Seems some fans attention spans may vary:
  Tyson All Elite.
  He was there to present the belt.
  Double or Not-yawn.

293 Fun House: April 12, 2020

Squeal Like A Pig, Allen!

93 minutes

Blade's audio setup returns him to Smooth Jazz. RD's audio setup returns him to Jeff Foxworthy.

Blade threatens to talk about wrestling before he coughs into the microphone. RD thinks Tam's release and the global pandemic are related.

Blade bought some custom made coasters from RD. He has also made some WC related ones with the help of his wife.

Bitey is taking a break from soundbiting Fantasy Booking Island and using a HulkTrolla the other day. (:10)

RD's tournament is down to the Final between Katie Vick and David Arquette. (:12) RD was surprised by Judy Bagwell's path all the way to the Conference Finals including Giant Gonzales, but even she could not stop runaway Katie who was up in the 90s and a...69 to the Gooker (who was also up in the 90s). Beaver Cleavage also got high due to weak competition. Meanwhile Arquette went beyond the Shockmaster (and No Way Outback Jack). The Yeti had a Cinderella run defeating original worst gimmick Red Rooster. More mockery of him ensues. Meat also erected himself  beyond Al Wilson by 0.5%, Naked Mideon beat the Boogeyman, and the Black Scorpion disappeared. Blade wonders if some of their footage will appear in Arquette's upcoming documentary.

Sad News: Blade forgot to send in a predictive bracket.

Sadder News: Both vote for the first time. Katie is currently in the lead.

Saddest News: Brakus was not one of the contenders, but he was extensively and insultingly made fun of by Jim Ross and Vince Russo in Vice TV's Dark Side of the Ring series' latest episode on the Brawl For All. (:29) RD once ran away from New Jack. Blade almost stayed in a hotel room with him, but Mustafa did give him a beer once. He does his Jeff Foxworthy impression. "God bless Doc." He does his Jim Ross impression.

[To quote the induction on why he deserves such ridicule: "Well, in poor Brakus’ case, he got bested by Savio Vega. This while Jim Ross dubbed Brakus the “German Superman.” Somehow I doubt the real Superman would have become as famous as he is if he got beat up by Savio Vega."]

Young Buck Nick Jackson is a father for the third time. (:37)

Blade has sent RD so many screen caps of Fifth Horsewoman Tam. (:40) She is offering some special offer on her Snapchat or other and yet again can not handle people expectantly being people such that she thinks Ashley Massaro is still alive. Blade does his Tam impression. Krankor's laughing has woken up Bitey. "Did you ever see her porno film?"

Gary "Blue" Oransky of Facebook has today's Question because he commented first: (:47) "In these trying times how often do you shower and/or change your underwear?" he asks. Blade hasn't been on a date in a week (so he's been out of action longer then). RD is considered "essential" enough to be out and about, lucky him.

Blade's random photo was featured on his idol Godfather's Pizza social network, in the pinnacle of his life up to this point. (:50)

Since that was not a proper Question RD went back to The Board again. (:52) He had gone down a recent thread of a "tribute to women in wrestling" (was it the same one he had gone to previously?). "Sexist" Blade reads something sent by RD about "Soul Kane" lusting over Liv Morgan in the Elimination Chamber.

Also from that same Facebook thread from Brian Keith Johnson/Jackson, who was second: (:57) "What woman in wrestling today would you want to be quarantined with?" Don's daughter wouldn't be one of them for the still quarantined Blade. RD wants non-woman Orange Cassidy (like me), non-woman Chris Jericho with his bubbly, non-woman Batista for a brief minute, and Becky Lynch with her dolls. Blade wants Mickie James to sing country songs about Christmas sweaters with, non-woman Black Scorpion to practice magic tricks with, and non-sane person Tam.

"Celebrations" for Triple H's 25 years will "begin" on Smackdown in two weeks, in news that definitely needs no further comment. The Co-Fruitcakes do so anyway, for obvious reasons. (:63)

Big Black Room WrestleMania was alright, except for Becky Lynch who only appeared in the fourth match, and Michael Cole who once again showcased his commentating mastery. (:69) The two worry over the hilarious gimmick matches now influencing others to make it worse by copying them (and WWE adding to things by also failing to copy themselves properly). Blade fears the Undertaker will now use such matches to continue wrestling to Ric Flair age levels. The Fun House encounter was particularly awful as a "match", reminding rambling Blade of the teleporting not-hot Dungeon of Doom, among other things.

However RD is thankful Vince did not (yet) do a match based on Deliverance.

Seventeen easily digestible syllables:
Ruthless Aggression.
Ruthless Aggression. Ruthless
Aggression. Bad Shit.



$1.50 : $34.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. What Ganon Is Up To, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Offensive maneuvers, things on the internet
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 1.5. Blade, Blade (2)
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  5
• Blade Time Outs: 7 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
• Cricket Chirps:  4
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Gary "Blue" Oransky
• In these trying times, how often do you shower and/or change your underwear?  Blade: not as often as I should. RD:  I do it more since I’m considered essential.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What woman personalities in wrestling today would you want to be in quarantine with?
  
• RD:  Orange Cassidy, Chris Jericho/Becky Lynch, Batista
• Blade:  Sunny, Mickie James, Black Scorpion

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Cena in nWo?
  
  Ruthless Aggression.
  Ruthless Aggression. Ruthless
  Aggression. Bad Shit.

(292) Bitey's Revenge: April 1, 2020

..But not as terrifying as this podcast, Alfred!

"3" (27) minutes

Bitey tries his claw hosting with predictable results Random albeit looped/sequential bird soundclips take over for RD & Blade RD plays all his soundclips available to him RD attempts an avant-garde meditative audio piece RD last minute submits his monthly quota for the peanut gallery.

Co-Hosss Contest Year 14: An owl and a droid imitating parrot fail to impress with their own soundclips. Current Tally: 0 of ???.

Chirp:
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp.



...Go vote?



$32.50 Chirp $19.99 Chirp 

Chirps & Cheeps (as deciphered by Erik "Dr. Doolittle" Majorwitz)

 

• 20th Annibirdsary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SQUAWKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not chirping about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Fly Ins: 2. Owl, Droid Parrot
  

 

• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs: 1 
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

Despite having less than a 30 minute run time, Bitey has the show record for number of segments/Trolla products used:  

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsor/Shills
• Trip to the Grocery
• Obscure Wrestling News
• Question of the Week
• Fun With Tam
• WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host Contest
• Fantasy Booking Island
• WrestleCrap Radio 3 Count
• Current Wrestling News
• Weekly Wrestling Haiku 
• FaxTrolla
• BabyTrolla
• HulkTrolla
• TamTrolla
  
  

• Question of the Week from: ???
• I don't speak bird.
  

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  ???
• Bitey:  I don't speak bird (non sequentially).

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Bitey fills in as best he can:
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp
  Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp Chirp

291 Love in the Time of Corona: March 27, 2020

This ring is empty, just like after listening to this show feels.

101 minutes

The latest development for Big Black Room WrestleMania: AJ Styles will face the Undertaker in a "Boneyard Match". Blade makes an actual joke. For once. I know.

Blade is back (quarantined?) in Don's Petting Zoo Basement with his pet parrot "Bitey". He is the only one laughing at Blade's jokes/laughter/Big Announcement. RD thinks Bitey would make the perfect next TNA correspondent. I'm expecting he will have a character page eventually irregardless of this. (He already has a label now anyway.)

RD now has an Etsy shop. At the moment he is specializing in creating high quality old school game coasters.

RD admits that we of this very site are more awesome than them. (:16)

News depending on how you look at it: Tam is out of prison and expressing a desire to "paint". No word on whether she also is on Etsy. (:19) Blade reminds RD on the many Tam "presents" he had subjected him to for Christmas. Then he threatens to talk about her weekly. Then he coughs outside of the microphone. Then he randomly says: "I'm allergic to the world." Then he Joker laughs.

Shelly Martinez is not doing nude work on her OnlyFans page. (:25) Blade has to explain to the more prudish RD what OnlyFans is. Wasn't Tam there also? She will be on Snapchat if she wasn't already there before her "hiatus". Bitey pterodactyl screeches on hearing this. Blade has seen her recent photos and thinks she looks better. Spending time in jail will do that to someone.

Blade had a Wrestling Vixens account before he or his library had a computer (he used his friend's computer to use it).

Jillian "Mole" Hall is a mother for the second time. (:32) Blade: "[Shawn Michaels] never had any problems conceiving, but..." He keeps thinking it's still cold outside. He also fantasizes about naming his alternate dimension children after Crayola colors and/or cheese. (Crayola colors named after cheese?)

Sad News: Blade once again is missing out on meeting Mickie James (and Tom Wopat) in Columbus (Indiana) due to the current pandemic cancelling everything. (:38) He expresses his sadness by more coughing.

RD announces that he will pay for Blade's next flight to see Mickie James within the next 12 months if she's within close distance of either of them. Blade still wants to ask her about her favorite breakfast cereal. (:44)

For a change, Listener James Campbell was Questioned in the Kult of Kayfabe Facebook group about wrestling podcasts. He chose...wisely. (:46) Blade wonders how their two radio progrems compare to one another. Then he Joker laughs again alongside Bitey.

RD took another visit to the F4W Board for another Question there. (A subscription is still required for access.) (:49) Blade wants to call these occurrences Board Games. This week/month from January: who is the best member of Demolition? "Dude Life" liked Axe due to his creepiness as a middle-aged factory laborer sex pervert.

WrestleCrap will be 20 years old this April, so the Co-Fruitcakes go over some of their favorite moments (again). (:54)

• RD was supposed to be a caller-in on a radio show with an elderly receptionist identifying him as "Russell Crap" (I am sure he mentioned this once.). 
• Blade had an early email conversation with the Warrior on his personalized workout program using the nom de guerre of RustleCrup. 
• RD remembered the many people he has met over the years. 
• Blade remembered their feud with Damien Demento including singing and their missed attempt to have Shelly Martinez on the show because she "overslept". 
• RD is most happy to have met Blade through his Black Scorpion Revenge. Blade was assisted by his Ex and Don to make it as an excuse to expand his VHS tape library, and as a result starting his IMDB profile. Discussion of the expensive good old days follows. 
• Blade is most happy that he has Katie Vick's outfit to literally fuck around in.

The two wonder how much it will cost to bring Tam onto their show. (:83) According to her Facebook page she was happy for two (2) hours on the 23rd before getting angry again for some reason.

Big Black Room WrestleMania over two days with gimmicks matches is the worst way to go about it, instead of delaying it in order to make it better (you know, like everyone else is doing). (:87) Blade argues they can't delay it without impacting their TV shows; they might as well get things over with now and start anew. RD shows how incorrect Blade is by forgetting who Brock Lesnar is to fight against (Drew McIntyre).

The two agree that WWE should take a hiatus/offseason anyway, as they should normally do even without a pandemic (you know, like everyone else is doing). Blade attempts to be "light" and spills water all over himself.

RD on WrestleCrap on Patreon: "Enjoy some bad wrestling from when some of it was actually good."

Seventeen Syllables of Blade Braxton telling you what's going on:
Coronavirus.
Empty WrestleMania.
It will feel empty.



$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right



#StayAliveStayInside #Don'tBeBlandWashYourHands #BeBadAssWearAMask

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. What Ganon Is Up To, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  1
• Blade Time Outs: 17 (1 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  3 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
• Cricket Chirps:  3

 

• Question of the Week TO: James Campbell
  
• Anyone know any good wrestling podcasts? WrestleCrap Radio. Well the RD & Blade Show was pretty good too.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Best WrestleCrap moment of the last 20 years?
• RD:  Meeting Blade via the Recreate the Crap Contest, Mildred calling him Russell Crap, meeting cool people in the business
• Blade:  The Katie Vic outfit, Jim Helwig the Russell Crupp mentor, Damien Demento vs WrestleCrap (non sequentially)
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates this pandemic:

Coronavirus.
Empty WrestleMania.
It will feel empty.

290 The B Word: February 19, 2020

BladeStranglesHisBird.com

...I Bet That Url's Not Taken?

85 minutes

Blade has returned from abroad to be further confused by RD himself. Quote one Listener: "You guys just seem to tickle each other."

RD explains to Blade how he got his scar in Gotham City getting pseudo-creampied in his Roselyn Bakery Death Match in his wrestling days by his very excited opponent. (:05) Blade remembers their pie throwing at the end of that Roast of 10 years ago. Was it really that long ago?

Blade is currently in Don's basement with his pet parrot. RD wants to make him the next TNA correspondent. (:12)

RD wants to add years to the site to make it older than it currently is, like WCW did with Goldberg's record. Blade has a forbiddingly bad idea for what he wants for the April anniversary. "I can read a calendar," he proclaims.

As expected, Blade did not listen to last month's show.

RD gave Blade some karmic justice for always being late for their recordings. (:22) Blade had a good time in the UK with his Midnight Rose and Katie Vick outfits in a horror movie without a title. Botchamania's Maffew is also to appear in it. Blade promised a friend he would bring them UK variant Kit Kats, so of course he ate them all himself. That's all the news he can give us.

Blade continues to be drunk. (:28) One of the Iiconics did a photo shoot resulting in an expected deluge of "messages". RD reads a publicized one in his non-Sir Alec/STAN impression.

Jim calls in since he is soon to release another book. He and RD crack each other up unintentionally (for once). (:34)

The Hall of Fame bound Bellas are expecting at the same time. RD pretends to be surprised that it may not be on the straight and narrow. Blade: "I just got up." (:39) Also joining them this year are the original four of the NWO Classic, Bistro Batista, Jushin Liger, and Davey Boy Smith [and JBL].

Robert Sternburg (2) thinks Adam Bomb has bowel issues. (:46) He has to make sure they're alright since he may be imprisoned like his partner Crush was that one day. Blade fails his 'joke'. RD: "Does it really matter?" He tries again. That fails. He tries again. That fails.

Blade also hung out with some Listeners while overseas. The drinking probably helped them against his bad jokes. (:50) Shayna Baszler appeared with a vampire/hound gimmick. RD does not mess up his 'joke' but it still fails also. Blade tries again. That fails.

Speaking of wrestling biters, RD likes Hulk Hogan, the Haiti Kid, and Shelly Martinez (What is she up to these days anyway?). Blade likes Kamala, Gangrel, and Matilda. (No Abdulla the Butcher?)

RD has yet to watch a full match of the new XFL but likes some of their rules, including the different point conversion. (:68) Blade's Hobo Curse has had no effect on the nearby Kansas City Chiefs, since they are not based in Kansas. His XFL team is the also not based in Kansas ST. LOUIS BATTLEHAWKS (to be written only in all caps, like the OTTAWA REDBLACKS. Who are also not based in Kansas).

WWE is currently documenting their years of RUTHLESS AGGRESSION, their period of random activity in the 2000s after they had defeated WCW and had no idea what to do next (sounds like nowadays to be honest). Blade does his old man impression due to being confused by their era dates. (What, does he think this is a game of (Sid Meier's) Civilization or something?) RD is more amused by WWE's hilariously awful attempts to rewrite history, in this case that they 'voluntarily' changed their name just because.

Wipe it clean with Seventeen (Shayna) Syllables:
Shayna likes to bite.
I hope she doesn't get sued.
Trademark White Wolf Inc.



$1.00 : $32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrap.com, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 3. Thebadboysexcited.com, BigBadBillygettingexcited.com, Bittenbyamidget.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

  

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade (2)

•  Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Jim
  

 

• Mama’s Broken Damn, Damn, Damn Dishes:  3
• Blade Time Outs: 23 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs:  4 (1 Hold on a second, 1 Real Quick, 1 Wait a minute, 1 Wait a second)
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  
• Krankor Laughs: 2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 3
• Cricket Chirps:  7
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Robert Sternburg (2)
• Do you think Adam Bomb has explosive diarrhea? Blade distracted RD with a poorly delivered punchline.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Top 3 Biters.
  
• RD:  Hulk Hogan, The Haiti Kid, Shelly “Ariel” Martinez
• Blade:  Matilda, Gangrel, Kamala the Ugandan Giant (sequentially)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Shayna guilty of copy bite?
  
  Shayna likes to bite.
  I hope she doesn't get sued.
  Trademark White Wolf Inc.

The Audio Mailbag: January 30, 2020

62 minutes

Blade is currently in the UK being drunk while in a gutter filming yet another horror movie, so RD has to once again do things all by himself (any more) in order to fulfill his monthly obligations. This gives him the opportunity to reminisce the early days of the site where he used to reply to people's questions (and before he recreated it on the radio progrem just so he could make fun of the questioners). From that it led him to ECW Press and his eventual books and his friendship with Bryan Alvarez, and his friendship with Blade winning him over as the Black Scorpion by the power of FedEx.

But first, RD FINALLY has an opportunity to talk about wrestling! Blade is not around to interrupt five times in a row with bad jokes or whatever. (:09)

• He thought the recent Royal Rumble was alright, even if was a bit too long. 
• He did have the time at least to write about Kurt Angle's final match with Baron Corbin, of all people. The Human Jigglypuff had a horrible match with Roman Reigns. 
• The Women RR featuring Molly Holly was alright, but he misses seeing more and older people.
• The other matches also went well more or less. RD finds Kairi Sane cute, as do we all, and thinks she can do much better escaping WWE.
• The Men RR with MVP and Brock Lesnar throwing out people constantly was as he expected. He understands why he was eliminated, but not if Drew McIntyre is up to the challenge to face him.
• He wishes Edge (ED GE/Redger) would return with Vickie Guerrero.
• AEW is still a blast, both old and new folks alike. MJF, Darby Allen, and Sammy Guevara are particular standouts to him.
• Even NXT is having some fun.
• Overall, some of his enjoyment of the genre has returned.

That out of the way, RD dives into his Facebook thread of questions.

• One fellow, Paul LaParka (not Paul O’Parka), sent him an audio question asking who would play the Co-Fruitcakes in their movie. (:24) Obviously Blade will be played by Al Pacino as Tommy Michigan of course. RD wants the most boring actor he can find, but instead decides David Schultz as himself would do much better.
• Ron Motta asked about his earliest wrestling memory. He ties it into his love of video games; someone he asked to come over was watching wrestling instead, so he first watched the British Bulldogs which hooked him before Bobby Heenan further sealed the deal.
• Andy Denyer wants Bryan to appear on the show
• Jason Lindsey remembers the Big Nippled Vampire.
• Matthew Fox asks about She-Ra.
• Kurt George Lewis thinks the King of the Ring should be a defended title. RD disagrees. Richard Gottfried wonders what happened to Mabel's belt.
• Ryan Goodman loved the old Mailbag. He didn't phrase it in the form of a question. (:30)
• John Rambo thinks Blade is starting WrestleCrap UK.
• Joe Vernola asked him about Burt Reynolds. RD still calls him Uncle Burt and is still sad after his passing for some strange reason. RD took him from a flea market poster rather than go through with the original name of Jack Diamond.
• Someone pretending to be Iron Mark Tyson asks about Lana's fluctuating accent. And are Bryan and Dave secretly with AEW? (:33)
• Sean Bateman asks about Becky Lynch's pre-WWE matches. RD remembered when she was initially a leprechaun. 
• Brian Weckerly wonders which bad gimmick he would super push. RD thought Waylon Mercy could have gone further had it not been for physical issues.
• Danny Rhoads has a tough question: which written about thing would he remove? (:36) His ultimate goal is to make people laugh, no matter the subject matter. But the one and only thing he would remove would be Blade suffering through Joanie Laurer's (first) adult adventure.
• David Stidham misses Bobby Lashley's sisters in his latest bad angle. (:41) RD agrees.
• Neil Purcell thinks Joey Janela's theme sounds like a Journey song. RD stresses the importance of good music in wrestling.
• One of my fellow Co-Historians asks about noticing a show's sobriety. (:43) RD: "Yes." His throat is also hurting from all his monologues.
• Ryan Goodman (again) asks a random Guevara question. Keith Lagasse follows up with another random Guevara question (on another thread).
• Patrick McCabe is still unsure who was the Higher Power.
• Peter Melnick asks if he was in a submarine. Yes he was. Two feet underwater anyway. He was in a helicopter once due to his mother entering him into a competition.
• Ben Warrick remembers The Wrestling Album. RD prefers Piledriver.
• RD cannot explain a photo on the air.
• Jamie MacKay has a Terry Funk song to listen to. (:48) Mike Check RD uses the opportunity to take an intermission by playing it in full.
• DJ Derrick Guynn (AKA Derek Quinn) has some games to rank. (:53) His #1 is WWF Superstars due to its play. Mania Challenge is #2, WWF Wrestlefest is #3. From Luke Lay's followup, ProWrestling is another #1.
• Forest George wonders if Paul Teutel Sr. vs. Hogan would be a draw.
• Ralph Archuleta has a question about Jaime Hayter.
• Ryan Swartz has a badly worded question about a current wrestler using an older gimmick. (:56) RD thinks such a thing would be hard to do.
• Denny Taylor (in kayfabe) wants to know how real Giant Gonzalez's airbrushed muscles were.
• Dave Hines warns RD about spelling Barry Manilow's name wrong. (Actually he spelled it right. Does hie also write his songs too?)
• John Hudson thinks Tam, when (if?) released, could do a prisoner gimmick. (:57)
• Luke Lay (again) asks him about his favorite Royal Rumble moment. Ric Flair in '92, no question.
• Wes Lee has RD wanting to play air hockey with Sammy Guevara and his salmon pants.
• Dylan Fionda asks about trains.
• Arya Witner forgot that Kerry Von Erich was the second Ultimate Warrior.
• Brian Beissel is scared about contagion. Although "Coronavirus" is a good name for a finisher.
• Danny Rhoads (again) wonders who would win between Well Dunn and American Males. RD picks the latter.
• Simon James Lindsay asks about Kane's titles. (:60) RD thinks he had as enough as he should have had.
• And finally, Iron Mark Tyson (again) asks about Blade's Big Announcement. What a mark.

289 Moistmas: December 22, 2019

Mickie the Red Nosed Nipple

77 minutes

Blade doesn't have any proper Big Announcements anymore. This is assuming he even had any in the first place.

Lord Alfred had a MySpace page before Blade deleted it. RD: "Is Lord Alfred also a Force ghost? A Jedi ghost?"

The two will discuss Episode IX later for their RD & Blade Show to be released yesterday.

This year RD reviewed a particularly horrible Christmas movie.

Blade: "I was thinking about that while I was on the toilet a few minutes ago." (:12)

RD has met many characters over the years on Black Friday or Brown Thursday as he now calls it. (:14) Blade apologizes for interrupting but he wonders who else does this while encountering RD.  This year at the "nicer" Walmart due to his 'strategy' the wife and son got to see a scuffle, while RD met a 'lovely/moist' woman. She was discussing Thanksgiving dinner with another woman before suddenly saying "that guy smells like shit." (Not RD thankfully.) He teases his brother having his own stories to tell (assuming he doesn't smell either).

Bobby Eaton had an appreciation night the other day, which is a good thing. (:30)

Mickie James has a new Christmas song which has four thumbs down. The two watch it. (:33) RD is distracted by her reindeer nose nipple. (Odd design for a pastie to be sure.)

RD cheats for the Question (:41) by going to the F4W Board for it. (A subscription is required for access.) Someone on a 'beautiful women of wrestling appreciation thread' wants random fetishistic pictures of now 50+ year old Misty Blue Simmes. Blade did some searching of Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Sack - Indiana Jones in order to find a "movie" of hers. Sadly I don't think they cover the fetish that one guy was looking for.

Barry Darsow scared RD by talking about Ken Patera. (:47) Billy Jack Haynes has wild hair. Blade will have a Beastmaster Christmas, whatever that means. [It means an online showing of Beastmaster movies which - surprise surprise - gets aborted halfway through.] Roman Reigns will be competing on Fox for New Year's Eve. Blade wants him to compete in a three legged race against Zack Gowan.

Things I've learned today: over the years, the only people who are sending presents have been Jordan Mishkin and myself. Maybe next year we will complete the triangle and send presents to each other too. (:55)

Jordan sent RD gluten free baby back ribs chips, a King Mabel bendem, and a Jim Cornette book (now with 100% more racism). Blade got a Predator 2 VHS and football Headliners. He eats some Guinness naturally flavored Burts chips. They seem to taste better than RD's.

I had sent for RD and his young man an R2D2 lunch box with lights and sounds. (I did not check to see if it was wash safe, though it should be.) He also got an Artoo Thermos as a probable replacement for his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. (As ridiculously useful flasks to keep large amounts of fluid hot or cold at their required temperatures for hours or days at a time, they can't be beat.)

Blade got a NES cartridge shaped "Drunk Hunt" flask via Nintendo John, "the greatest gift you will ever get" (although Blade cannot receive a picture of it on his phone unsurprisingly; probably spending all his money on drink instead of a new phone), and a grip strengthening beer mug via Jim. RD: "People know you."

Blade sent RD a 1996 Tam bikini koozie. (Isn't she still in jail?) RD sent Blade a He-Man Christmas sweater with a funny holiday card.

I have seventeen syllables for words:
Deck the halls with lots
of moistness, fa la la la
la, la la la moist.




$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Black Friday
• Christmas
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 1. BillyJackHaynesHair.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

•  Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.
  

 

• Blade Time Outs: 4
  
• Robotic Reindeer Laughs: 4
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Cancelled. No time!
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: All fun and games until it turns to black mold...
  Deck the halls with lots
  of moistness, fa la la la
  la, la la la moist.
  

288 The Turkey Drop: November 25, 2019

A Turkey Of A Show!

95 minutes

Blade has already started the Thanksgiving drinking. He has to since his voice is shot from shouting while wrestling the day before.

RD wants more Hundred Dollar Men/Crappers so he can wear a Nikolai Volkoff Cent Sign shirt on their behalf. I'm sure Virgil would come free regardless of cost.

WWE is so bad it makes RD think it can be improved by old Hulk Hogan freestyling. (:10)

The Lions are playing so awfully that Blade is time-outing himself so he can forget/ignore them. (:12) RD already encountered Little Debbie Snowflake Brownies which are like all the rest. So he calls up his lady to try their Holiday Spice Christmas Tree Cake. It has cinnamon, cloves, & nutmeg on the front, and a square maze on the back. It tastes alright. RD persuades her to return to the show sooner than 10 years like the last time.

Blade's only child and potential heir is a ventriloquist dummy who once took a fall onto hard concrete. (He got better.) (:23) Brock Lesnar's daughter Maya has committed to Arizona State University due to her exemplary shot-putting. Blade stumbles while trying to make another "joke". Tito Santana has written a book titled Don't Call Me Chico. RD wonders if Jesse "Chico" Ventura will write a foreword. Blade remembers the possibility of Hulk Hogan vs. Ken Patera's swinging full nelson at Wrestlemania IV. Purchasing the book also includes a phone call with its author. Blade would want him on the show so he could ask him about women in cars. RD would ask him about his "bullfighting training".

RD wants to discuss wrestling things to be grateful for while Blade wants a "quick show", preferably within 3 hours. (:34) RD is grateful for Blade and his corded phone and the other connections he has made with his site, AEW vs. NXT on Wednesday, and the WWE Network where he can watch Survivor Series Jimmy Garvin. Random discussion about Linda McMahon's old Wrestlemania theme ensues. Blade is grateful for his Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness 2 tag teaming for around a decade now and in movies and hopefully visiting the UK in January, Mickie James still being around and active (instead of Tammy), and Demolition still being around and whole.

Eric K. asks what their favorite Thanksgiving food is. (:50) RD's is pecan pie. Blade rambles about eating room temperature raw turkey when he was younger.

RD wants Bill Apter on the show again. (:55) He could discuss PWI October 1991 of which Blade guesses features Sid Vicious. The centerfold is Lex Luger. The back cover is Captain Lou Albano with his awkward wrestling hotline 1-900-LOU-4-YOU. I don't think he would have given Super Mario Bros 3 tips over that.

15 year old Blade recorded a JR hotline on cassette tape because he thought he hosted a late night talk show and felt ripped off when he found out the truth. He does his Jim impression.

Speaking of old cassette tapes, Mike Check is back in his "Eye in the Sky", the WWCR Party helicopter as part of his live remote. (:66) His idea is...such...that WKRP In Cincinatti famously did this before Jim could: a turkey drop. However, this time is different!

He has parachutes for them.

Needless to say, he has another 'accident' as it is proven that, once again, as God is our witness, turkeys still can't fly.

(Also he apparently worked with Jaime Farr in Toledo.)

RD Jr. went to his first show with his old man, AEW Dynamite in Indianapolis. (:75) RD notes his kid is following the same route he took at his age; being more interested in games with the wrestling interest perhaps coming up later while growing ridiculously tall. RD thinks the promotion and audience comprise a "happy cult", most likely because it did not have that wrestling arena aroma. They were the only ones who tried to leave before the Dark taping since Jr. had an early day, and one fan was super excited that Cody Rhodes was coming. At least Jr. seemed to enjoy the whole thing.

The Co-Hosses could only record all this during the concurrently running Survivor Series. Why is that a bad thing?

One of the 12 Listeners appeared on 205 Live.

Here's the Haiku with Extra Time about CM Punk on WWE Backstage:
CM Punk on Fox.
A Raw/Smackdown recap show.
Makes me Go To Sleep.



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrap.com, Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

•  Blade's Poor Performance Excuse: Yelled at kids at an Indy show last night.

 

•  Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Mrs Deal, Bill Apter, Mike Check
  

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  N/A (Toledo, OH)
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  N/A

 

 Apparently, Mike Check was thrown from a helicopter sans parachute.

 

• Blade Time Outs:  12
• RD Time Outs:  9
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  5
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Erik K
  
  • What is your favorite food for Thanksgiving? RD:  Pecan pie. Blade:  Room temperature turkey.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What 3 things in wrestling are you thankful for?
  
  • RD: All the friends he’s garnered running WrestleCrap, Wednesday night's wrestling war, the WWE Network. 
  • Blade: Demolition are still together, having Mickey James around, Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness' decade run

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: CM Punk with more pipe bombs?
  
  CM Punk on Fox.
  A Raw/Smackdown recap show.
  Makes me Go To Sleep.

287 The Angry Gym: October 31, 2019

WWE2k20 Glitch or artist's impression of Becky Lynch in a Haunted Gym?

89 minutes

Huey has a laughing fit while Drunk Blade rambles.

Blade does not remember (m)any of their old episodes, both on Patreon and on this site (somewhere). RD: "They do a lot of fine work. We should recognize them thusly." Blade: "It will be something."

Roddy Piper also has something. He reminds kids to wear neon to ward off the danger of idiots driving cars. (:12) The two have names for his posse. Might I suggest the John Nada Carpenters?

Blade and Don are stuck inside the War on Candy Corn, which has heavy fighting on both sides. (:14) RD tries Ultimate Cheddar Flavor Doritos with Cheetos extract which tastes alright. Blade is stuck on Tron's Brach's butterscotch discs, "the tan things you suck on". He reminds RD on his age.

RD decides to talk about wrestling. (:24) Rick "Eyes" Steiner's son Bronson is doing well Running Backing in college football. Blade thinks he will last in the new XFL's one season, particularly as they now have suddenly open spaces due to paying players a salary between "jack" and "shit". Blade thinks retired players should play again for some reason. I am sure it would be worth risking their health once again.

[Bronson would get the last laugh when drafted by the Baltimore Ravens while the new XFL didn't even last one whole season. I am sad he did not have to use uncle Scott's math skills however. - Future PB]

Matt Hardy and Reby Sky will be parents again for the third time. (:32) RD gets ahead of Blade and non-directly says that she likes to f-ollow through on things.

Jim calls with horror music, a by-product of "The Angry Gym", a 'haunted gym'. They'll scare the fat out of you! (:36) He tells them to call Dave Meltzer to tell him to go fuck himself, or something. RD decides to do just that as per his itinerary, so that he can play an excerpt from his podcast with Bryan Alvarez where he tells him about some very seductive weights. Piper reminds RD to say please and thank ya to him next time.

Bill Apter had a birthday last week. (:45) "Wrestling's Power Brokers" is the cover story of Wrestling Superstars October 1990. Ken Patera and Black Scorpion are NOT on the list, but somebody named "Big Juice" is. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams is #1, possibly from Jim's haunted gym. Demolition Smash is #14.

Jim calls back in so RD has to rush to cue up his horror music. Such good coordination I see. (:53) Bob Caudle is literally running for his life so Jim speeds him off his treadmill. "Shove it up your ass!"

As can be expected with Blade's intellect and/or sobriety, at no point does he make the obvious CrossFit joke.

Blade wants to be Ken Patera's Swinging Full Nelson for Halloween. (:56) RD admonishes Blade for not knowing how to count. Blade: "Put that on my tombstone."

In relation to another bad WWE T-shirt in the recent news which does not feature Sin Cara's penis, what are some GOOD wrestling T-shirts? RD has Andre the Giant 5X worn by Stephanie McMahon belted as a mini (Blade thinks they should be worn by female companions), Blade's 2004 WCW Dungeon of Doom, and Survivor Series 1987 sent to and from Blade. He still can't count. He has to look up a 10th Anniversary Mickie James crotch-licking, (breast-feeding) Matilda, and Demolition's first "band-aid" shirt to show that they had finally made it. Sad News: Blade's AtG shirt was only XL instead of 5X which he did not belt as a mini, colored pink when his mother washed it, and bleaching it only shrunk it, before he discarded it ten years later.

WWE 2K20 is hilariously awful. That won't stop the two from wanting to buy a copy and see how so bad it's good it is in person. (:75) Blade was worried by one visual of a glitching referee having a seizure. Nintendo John agrees and bleeps himself. So does his audience.

RD found some "Haunted" Haiku music for Seventeen (Haunted) Syllables not about Dark Shadows:
2K19 blues.
Seems the new game kinda sucks.
MUSCLE didn't glitch.

RD has to squeeze in his obligation remaining Piper at the end, for shame. No space for spacing on the itinerary?



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrap.com, wrestlecrapradio.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs on Retro TV
• URLs not taken: 2. Tanthingsyousuckon.com, Beltedasamini.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Dark Shadows
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Nintendo John
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Jim, Dave Meltzer, Bryan Alvarez, Bill Apter, Jim (2), Nintendo John

 

• Blade Time Outs:  5 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 6
• Cricket Chirps:  3
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
• Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  11 (3 for RD)
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 favorite wrestling t-shirts of all time.
  
  • RD: 1987 Survivor Series shirt, WCW Dungeon of Doom shirt, Andre the Giant 5X shirt modeled by Stephanie McMahon
  • Blade: Demolition shirt, Matilda shirt, 10th Anniversary Mickie James Crotch Licking shirt
    

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Today’s graphics with yesterday’s glitches:
  
  2K19 blues.
  Seems the new game kinda sucks.
  MUSCLE didn't glitch.

286 SmackDrunk: September 30, 2019

A.E.W. Punk?

66 minutes

You can already tell Blade is drunk (All Inebriated WrestleCrap?) since he is confused by military terminology. He praises the WrestleCrap Girdlers at The Big Girdle.

RD: "Is every show we ever do like some kind of, you know, event? Some kind of milestone?"

...

RD: "It's been almost 20 years since you actually wrote anything on the site."

Drunk Blade wants a Male-Male-Male threesome.

RD compliments the very site you are reading. "They are fantastic people, they do fantastic work." (:12) Acting oppositely from his co-host, Drunk Blade had to deter a co-worker from becoming a 13th Listener.

RD offers Drunk Blade cinnamon apple straws, a variation of veggie straws. He likes them and its malic acid, the term that Blade would want as another indie wrestler persona (although it would fit better as a finisher in my opinion). (:15)

RD reminds people he once managed Mark Henry when he fought The Big Show, who is getting a Netflix comedy series (which is probably not this one). [Aaaaaand it's gone. Did WWE Films have a hand in it? - Erik Majorwitz] RD thinks he could play a neighbor teacher. Drunk Blade: "You could have thrown away a WWE career." (:21) Blade now has to avoid people due to his WC work, or something. His phone responds by avoiding him temporarily.

C.M. Punk is getting some sort of tryout on some show or other which might see his return to WWE. B.M. Punk disapproves. RD gives him one (log) line. (:32) Recovering Mickie James may do commentary on Main Event. Drunk Blade remains confused drunk.

Who else would they want to see return to commentate? (:35) RD wants Ernie Lad, Howard Finkel, and yelling Brian Knobbs. Drunk Blade can't count, but he wants (Satanic) Superstar Billy Graham, Susan St. James, the Black Scorpion (where would he have space for his magic tricks?), and Demolition Axe.

This week, RD reads the "You Asked Us!" column in The Wrestler Magazine June 1989 (:44). "Mat Reporter" Lori Long of Edmonton writes to the "British Bulldogs" to inquire about Matilda's condition. Drunk Blade thinks the tag team nursed her. I'm just glad none of his exes had a pet dog for him to try this out personally.

Paul O'Parka of Facebook (2) asks about reviving cereals. (:49) RD wants the return of Vanilla Captain Crunch which lasted three months in the 70s. Blade remembers Strawberry Shortcake (not Crunch?) cereal, but he wants ET cereal since they tasted like a woman or something. One wonders where he ate that cereal from.

WWE will have pyrotechnics again. Drunk Blade thinks they once killed someone, but sadly does not add that information onto a Wikipedia page. (:54)

Televised wrestling will be literally weekly, even before including indies and PPVs and whatever Impact is currently doing. Blade fears for his partner's health in following it all, rather than just reading summaries of them online like just about everyone else except him (all that daytime work while sober probably prevents him from being online too much, understandably).

Blade still uses a VCR to record wrestling in 2019?

Seventeen Syllables:
Way too much wrestling.
All of these shows. Gentlemen,
Start your VCRs.



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 1. Girdlegauze.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Obscure things such as this, indy workers, my in ring career
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. B.M. Punk, Bill Apter
  

 

• Blade Time Outs:  9 (1 Wait a Second, 3 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs:  2 (1 Wait a Minute, 1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  4
• Cricket Chirps: 6 
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Paul O'Parka (2)
• What cereal would you bring back from the dead? RD: Vanilla Captain Crunch. Blade: ET Cereal.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Top 3 commentators.
  • RD: Brian Knobbs, Howard Finkel, "Big Cat" Ernie Ladd (non sequential)
  • Blade: Demoliton Ax, Black Scorpion, Susan St. James (replaces “Superstar” Billy Graham) [He uttered brother XX times at Summerslam 1988.]

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: T120 can hold all that wrestling?
  Way too much wrestling.
  All of these shows. Gentlemen,
  Start your VCRs.