304 The RD & Blade Show: April 5, 2021

36 minutes

 

Troy Ferguson AKA Blade Braxton passed away last week.

 

RD spends some time remembering his close friend and the good times that were had over the years. 

 

April Fools was supposed to be a Dark Side of the Ring parody about the unpaid parking tickets of Hillbilly Jim. They did record a RB&BS before this which RD plays here. (:10)

(Episode 58: Network Connection Issues)
26 minutes

WrestleCrap will be 21 in April and outlasting the WWE Network. Blade still has some of RD's hard drives.

Thus the two talk about the WWE Network and what could be found on there.

• On the road Blade asked his friend about Kevin Nash messing around commentating on Thunder that one time. RD had to write about that in time.
• RD had written about Ernie Ladd messing around commentating on Wrestling Challenge that one time.
• Vince loved weddings.
• RD thinks Peacock won't have space or time for Tuesday Night Titans.
• Blade was drunk enough to remember a documentary on Mickie James.
• He didn't know Tom Magee was in their bus ride with Eric Bischoff and Jimmy Hart.
• AWA had a Kelloggs-General Mills feud after their pilot with Verne Gagne's world's saddest dog.
• RD laments that Peacock will no longer have any more obscure or old stuff now for others to discover.
• He still remembers the early days when the website could not load properly.
• He also remembers when WWE would try to buy everything for their archives that they now can no longer really show to people.
• But at least you can also watch The Office!

 

 

 

"You don't know what you got till it's gone."

 

 

 

 

303 Old Blood: March 21, 2021

 87 minutes

The ultimate of ironies...just like this show.

RD is happy for once because they're only eight minutes late today. Blade is happy for once because he has a script instead of an itinerary today.

Blade was listening to other radio progrems these days. One of them involved Conrad Thompson having to fill in for "the Best of" an occupied Bruce Pritchard.
Blade: "You should do a Best of Me episode and worship me."
RD: "It would be like two minutes long."

Coasty Marshmellow is a year old and still doing extremely well. I still need to figure out what my custom order will be about. (:14) 

Hard-up Blade wants to knock-up someone to have an illegitimate child. He was once cursed at by Konnan at a WCW house show after he shoved him for some reason. Blade shoving him, I mean. RD subtly shades him by not bleeping him when he swears against himself. 

Blade was on the road recently where he got a Food Lion generic Mountain Dew, which is of course named Mountain Lion (and is not to be confused with Dollar General's just Mountain). (:18) The two actually agree on something for once: they prefer straight soda over gimmicks.

Then two old men remember 80s cartoons, like what old man led WWE is doing by releasing new He-Man style action figures. (:28) I like how they made upcoming Warrior He-Man more cartoonish than his Santa-assaulting comic book form.

Sad News: RD cannot find many original He-Man voice actors on Cameo. One was unknowingly sick.

Sadder News: 2 year old Blade had to pretend he was a year older in order to buy his first Threepio figure.

RD is to next get vaccinated on April 1st, of all days. (:44)

SPEAKING OF Conrad, he was Twitter feuding with the Patriot, if by "feuding" you mean ruthlessly and mercilessly humiliating. (Why, you'd think he was a jobber or something!) Blade does his Jim Ross impression. 

SPEAKING OF Jim, he couldn't complete a recent blood donation. Of course they call him up to make fun of him for this. (:48) RD thinks he didn't sound so good on the last Dynamite, and then summons Popeye to further mess things. "Shove your ass!" Jim mumbles. 

SPEAKING OF...you know, Tam Only has 4 Fans to a now inactive profile. (:57) You'd think with all the money she'd made she could have hired someone to help caretake her affairs. I hear the Patriot has a lot of free time on his hands for such a thing. 

Rob McGrath of Facebook Questions about a Dungeon of Doom revival. I think Bray Wyatt is overdue to lead that. (:61)

Blade apologizes for his own Court idea. (:64) "Phillip Dick" brings up the Repo Man, because he was cut too soon. For once RD actually praises Blade for bringing up good points...before he makes fun of the original question for saying he could have done Make-A-Wish appearances. Verdict: Guilty.

Stemming from the excellent women's match over on AEW, RD makes Blade list his favorite women's matches. (:68) He has Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai at Wrestlemania I, Mickie James vs Trish Stratus at Wrestlemania not I, and some 80's "foxy oil wrestling" scored by Motley Crue. 

RD's new favorite is the aforementioned Dynamite one of Thunder Rosa vs Dr. Britt Baker DMD with Rebel not Reba, even if he doesn't want to see it again because it was so bloody, and even without any Ken Patera swinging full nelsons. He wants Blade to ask him about his favorite cereal the next time he sees him. (:76)

The disappearing WWE Network is taking the bulk of its old archives with it into the void, at least in the US. RD wonders if he should get a VPN to watch it internationally, where it still exists (for now).

RD's and WWE's Frenemy Eric Bischoff is entering their Hall of Fame. Seventeen Syllables:
Bischoff inducted.
What's one good thing we can say?
He should dye his hair.

$0.50: $34.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmellow
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 5. Mountain Dew, wrestling, Dungeons and Dragons, Conrad Thompson, things that don’t make sense
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Lou Scheimer, voice of Orko 

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jim, Popeye
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  

 

• Blade Time Outs:  1
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  3
• Weird Al Laughs: 1 
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Rob McGrath
• The Giant recently returned to TNT after over 20 years being away.  Surely the iron is hot for a Dungeon of Doom Version 2, who would you include in this group? The Dinosaur, Bear Country.

 

• Crapper's Court
• Case brought by: Phillip Dick
  
• Case #003: Crappers v. Barry “Repo Man” Darsow. 
• Blade's "defense": Darsow made the gimmick work.  He took every gimmick thrown at him.
  
• Verdict: Still guilty of WrestleCrap. 

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 Favorite Women’s Wrestling Matches.
• RD:  Thunderosa vs Dr. Britt Baker DMD in AEW, No sold (non-sequentially)
  
• Blade:  Keisha vs Lady Desire oil wrestling, Mickie James vs Trish Stratus at Wrestlemania, Wendi Richter vs Leilani Kai at Wrestlemania I

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Eazy-E is headed to the hall and the hairdresser:
  Bischoff inducted.
  What's one good thing we can say?
  He should dye his hair.

302 Rumble Mifflin: January 29, 2021

Whatcha mean I'm still Wrestlecrap?! I made you laugh, Brother!

94 minutes 

RD threatens to talk about wrestling. Blade wants to argue about Star Wars again. RD threatens him on his Big Announcement. [Wasn't it Midnight Rose's retirement? - Erik Majorwitz]

Blade received his Christmas gift from Jordan: A Hulk Hogan Rock 'N' Wrestling VHS tape and some grilled cheese and tomato cream puffs. (:15) RD's Miss Elizabeth card does not have a hometown listed, and he summons Popeye to heckle Blade before he can do any impressions. He then tries some White Chocolate Sugar Cookie M&Ms which are averagely bland. He thinks they should change the name to something more accurate.

:24 Something called a "Shaq Bowl" with the eponymous basketbrawler will occur during the Super Bowl half-time with the Miz and Drew McIntyre, despite him expected to also appear in AEW against Cody after cutting a sleepy promo against him. Blade can relate (to the sleepiness.) RD compares him to Rick Rude. But will they be fighting over bracelets?

Sad News: Catherine Bach is not on Cameo. Neither is Priscilla Barnes. Charlene Tiltin is though. So is Cheryl Ladd, who 8 year old RD once wrote to. Blade guesses Ladd at $150 is higher than Tiltin at $100. It's actually $199 compared to $40, a bargain at half the price.

SPEAKING OF Obscure Hall of Famers, the Undertaker said some stuff on Joe Rogan's podcast. Blade admits to getting drunk while carrying his own blade. (Ahem.)

Tony Schiavone tweeted about being in physical pain, perhaps from putting butts in seats. RD was stationary biking during the pandemic. Blade has been vegetarian for the past few weeks.

Jonathan Coachman vows not to return to WWE. RD doesn't believe him, remembering Bobby Heenan's words that refusing to return only makes Vince want you back more.

Madison Raine is retiring much to Mike Check's fascinating sadness (that they are also not on Cameo). (:44) For once RD breaks his own character laughing. Mike: "I don't think that's how technology works Brad." He still wants minimum wage Taylor Wild. He plays that one BJ Thomas song.

Mickie James is a fan of Trish Stratus' 'companions'. (:50) Blade thinks RD was stalking her: "I would have checked your passport if that was the case. ... Do you and Mike Check sit around and talk about who has the bigger microphone?"

Speaking of technology Blade had to find another Question on Facebook. He responds with 30 seconds of silence. (:56) David "TattooTrolla" Merlino gets an expected non-answer. (Not more silence?)

Neither wants to talk over the People's Court theme. Who would? (:56) This month, Robin Enrico doesn't mind Mr. America. RD lets Blade ramble before telling him that just because Blade liked it doesn't mean RD should also. Cf. Black Scorpion. Verdict: Guilty. RD thinks people should submit their audio defenses personally since Blade is terrible (as a human being).

Since it's that time again the two talk about their three favorite Royal Rumble memories. (:61) RD has Greg Valentine vs. Ron Garvin in '90, Hogan running into Warrior in '90, and Heenan commentating for Ric Flair in '92. Blade has Dino Bravo bench pressing in '88, Haku vs. Harley Race in '89, swimsuit Ivory in a swimming pool competition with Mae Young in '00, Honky Tonk Man returning in '01, Demolition in '89, Dalmatian Miss Elizabeth in '89, and Mean Gene feuding with cigarettes in '92. He can't remember who else was judging Ivory. To be fair, neither can most other people not named Dave Meltzer or Bryan Alvarez.

Ken Patera is on Facebook (and I bet not following McDonald's on there) but also not yet on Cameo. (:76)

RD takes credit for Jungle Boy's theme being Tarzan Boy.
Blade: "You were in your thirties."
RD: "Yes."
He also enjoys the piped in "holy crap" chants. Blade laments not working in 'AWE'.

The WWE Network is being sold to NBCUniversal's Peacock for one...BILLION...dollars. RD highlights the quality of the sale by putting Tekno Team 2000 over everyone on their current roster.

Seventeen Syllables:
Network on Peacock.
Yay, NBC with McMahon.
That's not what she said.

 

$1.00: $34.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrapradio.com, Patreon, Coasty Marshmellow
• URLs not taken: 1. CatherineBachinaDunkTank.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Arguing, turning the channel
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Popeye, Mike Check

 

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade (2)
  

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  N/A
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  "Raindrops Fallin’ on My Head” by BJ Thomas

 

• Blade Time Outs:  3
• RD Time Outs:  1 (1 Wait a second)
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs: 1
  

 

• Crapper's Court
• Case brought by: Robin Enrico
• Case #002: Crappers v. Mr. America, allegedly Hulk Hogan under a mask. 
• Blade's "defense": Brought smiles to faces and brought back patriotism in a post-911 world.
• Verdict: Still guilty of WrestleCrap.

 

• Question of the Week from: David "TattooTrolla" Merlino
• Why haven’t Jinder Mahal’s puffy nips been inducted yet? No sold. 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 Favorite Royal Rumble Memories.
• RD:  Greg “The Hammer” Valentine vs “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin at Royal Rumble 1990, Hogan and Warrior stare-down at the 1990 Rumble, Bobby Hennan’s 1992 Royal Rumble commentary  (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Demolition Powers Explode at Royal Rumble 1989 #1 vs #2 entrants, “Mean Gene yelling about cigarettes (nee Honky Tonk Man Royal Rumble return), Miss Elizabeth Dalmatian dress. (née Dino Bravo Bench press challenge at the 1988 Royal Rumble) (Sequentially)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: WWE Network finds a new home:
  Network on Peacock.
  Yay, NBC with McMahon.
  That's not what she said.
  

• Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The truth in figure advertising will set you free:
  
  “Weaponized” B. Braxton?
  Sadly, he doesn’t come with “blade”
  as illustrated!

301 Another Christmas CaRoss: December 22, 2020

"Guilty as charged!"

112 minutes

Blade does not know who Bing Crosby is.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes pondered being on Cameo. Blade made an OnlyFans account with an Only Fan. RD wants him to make burping fetish content. (:05)

Blade was on this very site before recording to check on mentions of his Big Announcement. RD rightfully responds with crickets. (:12)

Blade has a "network of fans" informing him that Christmas Monster cereals are on sale. (:14) RD finally went to Cincinnati to (safely) see the in-laws. On the way back he went to the United Dairy Farmers to try their seasonal pumpkin pie ice cream with crust and whipped cream. He presently tries out Homemade's Santa's Cookies ice cream with sugar cookie chunks and red and green icing. He enjoys it immediately and immensely, putting it as one of his top 5. Blade has trouble hearing. Again.

Jim calls. (:23) He is once again making holiday beats, not BEETS, although maybe they would go well with BBQ sauce. Things go as expected.

Mattel is finally giving Chyna her first action figure. (:30) RD is confused on why they're doing so now, some years after her final HOF induction and many years more after her passing. I'm confused why they're pairing her in some offers with Triple H, and all the confusion that entails in today's world. 

Blade has his own confusion. "They'll put like, a body part -" What he means in his nonsensical way is that some figures have separate extra parts to configure the model like open or closed hand grips or accessories. (For example one time RD sent Blade a James T. Kirk figure with four extra hands for long winded speeches.)  For some reason Chyna comes with Paul Ellering's eyes ventriloquist dummy Rocco. Blade wishes Demolition had their own hand puppet in that feud. RD makes a bawdy joke for once.

RD chatted amicably with good friend Vince Russo the other day. (:38) He also has his first officially licensed action figure. Blade wants to buy an autographed one from his site.

WWE is selling Hogan, Warrior, and Savage hair gel, since they are of course known for the quality of their hair. Are they expecting Ed Leslie to shill them on their behalf?

Piper returns to gush lovingly about Santa. (:44)

Trish Stratus will appear on the GAW video podcast hosted by Mickie James, Victoria, and SoCal Val.

Tam spent her birthday in jail. (:47) Sad News: Someone provided Blade her prison address for some reason. Sadder News: she now has only 8 Only Fans. RD: "We have more listeners than she has fans." Saddest News: Marty Jannety was asking for help to contact "Lady Sunny AKA Sunny". Either he's once again extremely drunk to not know of her state, or he wants advice on how to survive prison.

RD reprinted a whole bunch of bumper stickers to sell on Mike Check's behalf. (:54) He was once in Orem, Utah's 105.3 CUTE "The Ute". He was Oscar "The Big O" Johnson, and together with Danny "Fucking" Kaye they did O-Kaye in the Morning. He plays John Pine's Christmas in Prison as Marty's long distance request for Tam.  

Piper reminds you to put them gifts under that tree.

Jim is called back for some reason. (:61) He continues to ramble sing.

Blade reuses the People's Court theme (AKA The Big One) for their own forum: the Crapper's Court, revisiting old inductions to see if they are still worthy to remain. (:66) Eli Iffert, second on Facebook, brings forth Double J. Blade rambles on for a minute about crossover potential before RD shuts him up by reminding him that such a way did not exist in the 90s. Verdict: Guilty.

Chad Ecto Young, fifth on Facebook (:72): What is RD's favorite Outback Jack memory? It would be when he drank beer with a cow.

What are some action figures yet to be made that the two would want? RD wants Big Josh with bear, Phantasio, and the Ding Dongs. Blade has his Black Scorpion, Midajah and Shakira, and Mr. X. He's still confused by why original Haku did not come with crown and outfit as illustrated.

Jim is called back for some reason. (:85) He continues to have fun by himself. The two make fun of him and thus themselves for not calling up his employees as musical back-ups.

SPEAKING OF things to make fun of, USA is unhappy with WWE's recent rock bottom ratings and how they're being beaten by old reruns, let alone AEW. (:90) The two mock WWE's excuses short of them blaming the seasonal weather. RD would prefer to talk about old games. I don't blame him. He laughs at Blade's Eastern European accent. I don't blame him either.

Piper will always ensure Santy Claus remains as long as he's around.

Due to the rushed schedule and I being unable to send my own in time, RD did not get much gifts in this accursed year. (:96) Jordan did however manage to send him some Herr's chips, some 1989 WWF cards, and some 1991 NFL cards. 

Blade guesses most of them correctly thanks to his Tecmo Bowling experience. RD, damning with faint praise: "That is the most impressive display of intelligence you've ever shown."

The two also got a Hornswoggle Cameo taking them to task for not yet being on the show despite his interest from over 18 months ago. I concur.

Blade hasn't received Jordan's gifts via RD yet. He did receive RD's shirt of Mickie James as Elektra. In return Blade sent him a Tam Rubik's Cube. I hope he sent one to her prison address. She may need something to while away the time; I don't think the folks would help let alone approve her to make erotic content in her cell.

Here we go:
Worst ratings ever.
Network wants adult content.
Vince's ass comeback.

RD: "Thank you for the gift."
Piper: "SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING!!!"

$33.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Christmas
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmellow
• URLs not taken: 2. PlasticWithBigJoshOnIt.com, PaulElleringsTorso.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 5. Losing your toe in a diabetic accident, things that are horrible that have been drug out of the mothballs, levels, magicians, Christmas. 
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Jim, Mike Check, Jim (2), Jim (3)

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  105.3 KUTE (Orem, UT)
• Radio Call Sign:  “Big O” Oscar Johnson
• Show:  O-Kaye in the Morning
• Song:  “Christmas in Prison” by John Pine 

 

• Mama’s Dishes Broken:  1
• Blade Time Outs:  12 (2 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs:  5 (2 Real Quick)
• Blade Burps:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  0
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  4
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Debut: Crapper's Court
• Case brought by: Eli Iffert
• Case #001: Crappers v. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett
• Verdict: Still guilty, induction stands

 

• Question of the Week from: Chad “Ecto” Young
• What is R.D.’s favorite Outback Jack memory? Early 1987 intro vignette. 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What 3 wrestling figures would you want Santa to put under your tree for Christmas that were never made?
• RD:  Big Josh, Phantasio, Ding Dongs Tag Team set (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Mr. X, Scott Steiners Freaks Duo, The Black Scorpion 

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: WWE needs to fix their lowest ratings yet:
  
  Worst ratings ever.
  Network wants adult content.
  Vince's ass comeback.

300 The Cameotaker: November 29, 2020

Coming soon to NBC: "Young Rock".
This is the Dwayne.

97 minutes

Blade plays to the ever present crickets on a metaphorical bean bag. RD is unsure whether people saying the show hasn't changed in 10 years is a good thing or not.

Blade reminds RD that Lord Alfred's daughter once contacted him on MySpace many vernal equinoxes ago. (:05) 

The Co-Fruitcakes spend too much time on that poor guy who gets off on Blade's burping. (:09) Blade confused one of his dates by going off to fight a toilet paper mummy. "I want to be as professional as I can." (:13)

RD was sent an odorous UnderTrolla for Thanksmas. (:15) "Turning" it on plays a car turning sound effect followed by a Undertaker Cameo (A bargain at half the price for the low low cost of only $1000! Just ask Bryan Alvarez's Granny). As expected Blade laughs over it.

:19 No global pandemic is getting in the way of RD doing his Black Friday shopping on behalf of the site (and his wife who remained at home). While on the road he saw someone had run their car into a CVS. At Target he saw a woman wearing a hoodie instead of pants buying pants for her son. But at least she was wearing a mask. At Wal-Mart to buy some shirts for charity donation, a redneck "older woman" required help to find some "hey ma, look at this" underwear for her son. And at the Chick-fil-A drive-through for a chicken biscuit, two guys fought over chicken nuggets.

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:35) Blade loudly lies down coughing in response.

Billy Graham has some words congratulating Kurt Angle's (moveset) return to steroids. (:40) Sadly "Stan" is too busy for Blade to pick up the voice modifier to portray him once more so he is forced to read it normally.

Among the balloons at this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Parade was a promotional CGI one of 90's Meme "Young" Rock. (:48) Blade wants a "Baby" Rock carried around by "Dwayne Johnson" Rock or "Father" Rock(y) Johnson. RD summons Popeye to disrupt him. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. (:53)

A Halloween Havoc '99 balloon was selling for $2500. Someone once told Blade WCW's last logo looked like "bird poop".

Trish Stratus will cameo as a "professional" lumberjack in a Hallmark Christmas movie. One wonders what she will be wearing. (:57)

Outback Jack is to do an autograph signing. That's the joke. (:60) 

He's also been doing podcasts. That's also the joke.

Candace Michelle received random "Japanese porn" scored by Titanic music. (:62) RD resummons Popeye for some reason. ああギュグギュクギュグギュク。

The Bushwhackers are autograph touring next year. That's also also the joke. 

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:65)

Tam has spent 300 days in jail. 

RD: "How is that news?"

Tony Christ of Facebook: "Why did it take so long?" RD: "There's your answer. Done." (:68)

Blade laughs himself into coughing.

The two have some more favorite moments. RD has Blade coughing himself into Burgess Meredith, Mike Check doing the Star Wars Convention market, and putting the Co-Hosss Contest out of its misery. Blade has The Bob & Weave Morning Drive, beating your meat in front of Victoria and Gillman, and Co-Hosssing as Sir Alec. 

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:82) He thinks this one was for Ken Patera, who's also autograph signing. Does he sign boulders?

RD admits the Trolla Corporation may not in fact be delivering top quality products. You don't say.

Blade has yet to watch The Mandalorian, one episode guest starring Sasha Banks as another Mandalorian. He prefers to be in Vince's demographic and talk about his mask in Clerks 2 with Rosario Dawson guest starring in another episode. RD: "Did you throw your back out trying to make that connection?"

Some AEW folks will do a table read of A Christmas Story as part of annual TBS tradition, with Jim Ross narrating. He calls in to complain, sounding more hoarse than usual due to Blade's coughing fits. (:90) Then Blade laughs too much, giving RD an opportunity to quickly end things before Jim can tell him to go fuck himself.

RD plays another Undertaker Cameo after loudly tapping his fingers. (:93)

Seventeen Syllables right here on the fly sure to be good:
The Undertaker.
You know what will rest in peace?
Some moron's wallet.

RD: "I thought you were gonna say "One thousand dollars.""
Blade: "Well, if I had more time to prepare."

$33.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Thanksgiving/Black Friday
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmellow, Patreon
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Sleazy, things referencing things referencing other things.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Popeye, Popeye (2), Jim
  

 

• Mama’s Dishes Broken:  1
• Blade Time Outs:  10 (4 rapid fire)
• RD Time Outs:  1
• Blade Burps:  2
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  0
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  0

 

• Question of the Week from: Tony Christ
  
• WrestleCrap Radio 300.  What took so long? There's your answer. Done.

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Favorite Moments in WCR history?
• RD:  Penguin Episode, Mike Check goes to the Star Wars convention, the 2007 WrestleCrap Radio Co-Host Contest (non sequentially)
• Blade:  April Fools Day WTKO Bob N’ Weave Morning Drive May 1977, Victoria’s launch party for her car company, RD lost his marbles over Gilliam, the draft where Sir Alec was co-host (non-sequentially, first time)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Undertaker cashing in fools’ money:
  The Undertaker.
  You know what will rest in peace?
  Some moron's wallet.

 

299 The Angry Jerk: October 31, 2020

Happy Go fu**ck yourself-ween!

85 minutes

Blade explains numbers to RD.

Cory Udler is supposed to be in the latest Halloween movie which was delayed due to the worst serial killer of all - a pandemic. Blade meanwhile is to be filming in Nashville as a werewolf. "I'll give you some side-boob."

Blade: "I disagree with you."
RD: "Of course you do." (:11)

Mountain Dew's random new flavors are not just for Halloween. Well, yes?

Anyway that's all the grocery tripping RD has done this month, since they go straight to the gimmicks. (:14) AJ Lee Jim had sent them both some "Jerk Jerky" that the two apply loud noises to the microphone for. The effect is slow to come, much like Jim's...BBQ business. (You were expecting something else?)

For some reason Ken Patera discussion more often ensues at Current News rather than the more appropriate Obscure News. In this case he's making (Obscure) News as his used singlet for sale was deemed sexually inappropriate for Facebook. (:17) RD thinks the seller uses it as a funk sock.

Today is also Katie Vick's 21st birthday, according to Blade's ad-libbing. (:25) RD has yet to forgive Blade for involving him with her. 

Somebody found the British Bulldog's Boy of '92. In a twist he was actually a Girl (with her own action figure). RD argues with Blade over whether she flubbed her line.

It was also Bill Apter's (21st) birthday. Blade is jealous of his energy. (:33) Bill's peer Craig Peters got Gilbert Gottfried to Cameo a promo on him. Why isn't he Co-Hosssing instead?

Speaking of promos, Roddy Piper has his one against the idiots in cars. (:38)

Speaking of speeches, Patrick Stewart beams in to report that Rob Van Dam has left TNA (for Pontiac). (:40) He has to report this since Blade is too lazy and/or busy and/or incompetent to get Cory to do his Gene and Paul impression to "report" this (or perhaps he's too busy having fun away from the progrem doing actual movies). He gets possessed by Mike Check for some reason by mispronouncing Blade's name.

Patrick: "I just have two things to say to you Mr. Brakstone!...GO FU**CK YOURSELF!...And also, I'm leaving now."
...
RD: "That was random."

Blade wrote something to Mickie James on her Instagram about the Detroit Lions. This is apparently newsworthy. (:44) She also thinks Lego sets have a piece or two missing even though they don't. This is also apparently newsworthy. (:48) RD uses the excuse to make fun of her. "Thank ya," reminds Piper.

This DOES however lead to yet another bet on the Colts vs. Lions. Remember those?

Popeye interrupts a Question by Jason Farrell to inform folks that he can no longer be blown (down). (:51) For the rest of the recording he is now Politically Correct Popeye. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

What are their favorite Diva Halloween outfits? (:54) RD has the Deever (sadly not on Cameo) as Princess Leia, AJ Lee as Kitana, and Penguin Kaitlyn. Blade has Mickie James as Elektra, Mickie James as a cavewoman, and Miss Elizabeth as Jane (who according to RD was at fault for something for some reason).

Instead of telling children to take their candy back home first, Piper delights in heel trick or treating with bowling balls painted as apples. (:65)

Mike Check uses his '50% share' of the progrem (as RD Reynolds) to shout at Brad. (:66) Before he can talk about being in Sleepy Hollow's WSPK Spook 103, Popeye interrupts to object about spooks. Blade: "Maybe you can go fu**ck yourself too!" Mike responds with Bobby Pickett's Monster Rap.

RD resummons Popeye to interrupt Blade. (:72) Popeye: "Go fu**ck yerselfs!"

RD resummons Mike by declaring that he doesn't eat steak. Mike: "Go fu**ck yourselves!" Blade: "Hey, fuck you!" (My goodness, what a shock that RD missed one.)

Jim calls in to gloat now that his jerky is fully affecting them. And Patrick. And Popeye. And Mike. And retroactively Piper. And Gilbert Gottfried. And the British Bulldog Boy/Girl/Kid. And Ken Patera (he was hungry!). (:77) Man, with such strange itineraries it's a wonder how RD could write three bestselling books. Jim: "Go fu**ck yourself!" Blade: "Fu**ck you Jim!"

Seventeen Syllables Now:
It's the Halloween show.
That was some bad tasting jerky.
Go fu**ck yourself RD! 

RD: "Blade Braxton, go fu**ck yourself!"

$0.50: $33.00 plus that $19.99 Go Fuck Yourself (Rated AO no doubt.)

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Rupert’s Kids Arcade (Re-opening), Skyline Drive In, wrestlecrapradio.com, Coasty Marshmallow, Patreon
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Things you may wear around the house if you get too drunk, people on cocaine, Detroit Lions, Halloween.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Stewart Patrick, Popeye, Mike Check, Popeye (2), Popeye (3), Mike Check (2), Jim.

 

• Fu**ck Bombs: 11. Stewart Patrick, Gilbert Gottfried, Mike Check, Blade, Popeye, Mike Check (2), Blade (2), Jim, Blade (3), Blade (4), RD.

  

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WSPK Spook 103 (Sleepy Hollow)
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  “Monster Rap” by Bobby Pickett
  

• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 3
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Jason Farrell
  
• Scarier sight, Hulk Hogan being double humped by Yeti and The Giant or Uncle Eric as Count (Censored)? None given, interrupted by debuting PC Popeye.

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Favorite Diva Halloween outfits of all time?
• RD:  Deever as Princess Leia, AJ Lee as Kitana, Kaitlyn as a penguin (non-sequentially)
• Blade:  Ms. Elizabeth as Jane, Mickie James as Cavewoman, Mickie James as Elektra

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Half-hearted attempt this week:
  It's the Halloween show.
  That was some bad tasting jerky.
  Go fu**ck yourself RD!
  

298 Technical Havoc: October 8, 2020

86 minutes

It's hard to get a word in with these clowns!

 

Technical difficulties have caused Blade to laughing into coughing. That makes one of us. (Laughing, not coughing.)

 

This continues for 18 minutes.

 

Blade is paranoid for some reason.
RD: "I sincerely doubt that your 'jokes' are the problem."
Blade: "It's a problem."

...

Also yes, RD, you and I are correct. (:16)

...

However, this doesn't apply to their other show where things actually work properly (most of the time anyway). So things are a wash.

 

(That sounds like a damning with faint praise endorsement to support them to listen to that, come to think of it.)

But at least it's fun to hear Blade lose his mind (and his breath).

 

Anyway, RD is doing Halloween things early in a time period where such temporal concepts are all timey-wimey by trying some Halloween Crunch with a Ghost Captain (an Ancient Mariner)? The back of the box has a word to unscramble which RD has Blade attempt over the phone. As expected, Blade needs the letters repeated. As unexpected, he guesses correctly. The orange ghosts taste like creamsicles. RD doesn't have milk to test if they turn it into green so Blade has him try it in 0% fat water poured all over his desk instead. 

Spoiler: nothing happens.

Blade also correctly remembers who all five Killer Bees are. They have a Kickstarter for a comic book which has already achieved its minimum goal of $3,000, despite it being 35 years too late and their illustrations looking nothing like them. However, Ken "Swinging Full Nelson" Patera will also be in it. (:27) Someone should send a copy to the Iron Sheik to see if he can break its back and make it humble old country way (you can probably guess how to do so with a comic book).

Speaking of crowdfunding, April Hunter needs to replace her implants due to a freak accident with her dog through her own Gofundme. Currently it is at 60% of the required $9,000. (:37) Blade lies that he will help folks who may get in trouble by donating. (She's also on Patreon if you prefer to help her there.)

Marty Janetty has confessed to crowdfunding murder. Again. (:43) RD advises the Listeners to not social media while intoxicated; otherwise you might end up Co-Hosssing a radio progrem with him.

WWE has made a special on The Best of Mickie James after mocking her for being old. (:46) The Co-Fruitcakes don't think it will include her appearance on Jenny Jones or her time in TNA with a train.

After having crowed about being in the top 1%, current jailbird Tam's OnlyFans page is now inactive. (:51)

RD: "How is that news?"

His actual phone rings in an attempt to get him to escape further talk on the subject. So too Blade's dog (he also has a duck).

As expected, Blade failed to do his one job of finding a Question of the Week Past Month since he was distracted by his attempt to get him some online. (The worse thing about this being alleged is that he failed at said alleged thing. The worst thing about this was that it was expected.) (:55) All he has is an ad from Kraft for their Macaroni and Cheese (or what's known up north as a Kraft Dinner). He lies again that he will send the box to the first person who emails him on this. RD agrees with me on calling him out in advance of not doing this. Blade tries to shift responsibility.

Speaking of doing his one job, he also has to improvise this week's other debate question: who else would they like to see in comic book form? (:59) RD wants the Apter Mag newsroom (wasn't that a Howard Hawks movie?), Missy Hyatt (I'd buy that for a dollar if she wrote it), and Jack Tunney: Agent of FURTHERMORE, with an unequivocal monologue in every issue. Blade wants the Iron Sheik fighting the aforementioned Killer Bees, Mickie James, and the Black Scorpion. RD (for real) would send someone his own Kraft box to whoever can spell out best what FURTHERMORE would stand for.

WWE is bringing back Halloween Havoc for NXT. (:74) Blade hallucinates someone dressing up as a "slutty ghost" and thinks AEW should have a competing Hanukkah Havoc.

Blade: "I've been pretty unprofessional at times."

Seventeen Syllables to add:
Halloween Havoc.
NXT's bringing it back.
I'm scared. Literally.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Coasty Marshmellow, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Bad things in tag teams, this show, train wrecks, tired.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Lack of sleep.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 0.

 

• Blade Time Outs:  11
• RD Time Outs:  0
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  3
• RD’s False Finishes:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1 

 

• Question of the Week from: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
  
• Do you have that special someone that would like a free box of Kraft macaroni and cheese? Blade: Yes.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What three wrestlers would you like to see in a comic book?
• RD:  Apter Mag characters, Missy Hyatt, Jack Tunney (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Black Scorpion, Mickie James, Iron Sheik

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade is frightened of cash grab nostalgia:
  
  Halloween Havoc.
  NXT's bringing it back.
  I'm scared. Literally.

297 Mad Ex: FuRD Road: August 30, 2020

15 Years of WCR: 12 Listeners Enter, 12 Listeners Leave

100 minutes

Blade feels old. RD: "You're telling me." SPEAKING OF Verne Gagne masturbating before killing somebody...  

This radio progrem was so big it was delayed due to technical difficulties and made Blade tired, then hungover, then drunk.

RD shills his WCW Halloween Havoc coasters. (:11).

RD is not sure if it requires less energy to listen to the progrem, or to read its summary here. "They're very tortured, I can give you that." He vows to have Co-Librarians on the show...somehow.

RD: "Everyone's more talented than I am."
Blade: "You have no idea how talented we are."
RD: "I didn't say 'we', I said 'me'. That's the difference." (:16)

RD has Kroger's Private Selection General Tso's Chicken in chip form. Unsurprisingly, they taste awful. Blade wants to target the food product market demographic.

Blade had tried enticing people on Facebook with random sexual innuendo to (have RD) call one chosen out of a hat. RD mocks him correctly on his not getting a single response, causing Blade to laugh uncontrollably. (:23) As you might expect, RD's attempt...disconnects Blade. How is this a bad thing? Blade filibusters by reading something by "Rose" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't know who was Becky. (:27) This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her.

Ricky Morton pleads with people on Twitter not to send him pizzas. (:30) Blade wouldn't mind paying for unexpected pizzas, expectantly missing the whole point. This prompts RD to give Jim a call. Sadly he doesn't order a pizza for him. (:35) RD insults Blade through Jim for misremembering things (but remembering he drove a braking down turkey van among his many business ventures).

Mickie James is on Raw again. (:40) RD still remembers her feud with Trish Stratus. Blade filibusters by reading something by "Christensen" who remembers Blade's ex-girlfriend who didn't like Trish. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

Tammy Sytch is in jail again. (:44) RD does his Nathaniel impression. He hopes that this is the last that will be heard of her for a good long while. For now.

RD: "We don't do scripts...obviously." (:51) 

He is shocked that for today's Question, "Blade has this". Dan on Twitter remembers RD's shaved back. RD corrects that it wasn't during his bachelor party. Blade does his Stubby impression to repeat one of his lines from their Roast of many moons ago. (:56)

Sad News: Blade will be moving out of Don's basement. Bitey has no comment. (:61)

RD disregards Blade's Question for another. (:64) Steve Mcclernon in Glasgow also listened to the whole canon, poor man. He remembers Marcho Madness, old RD&BS tapings, Mike Check still not properly doing the TNA market, Unsolved Mysteries remaining unsolved, Blade hearing actual TNA news from Corey Udler's impressions while visiting him at Chicago, Fun with Tammy, Paige replacing jailbird Tammy, and being baffled by their references and sports.

RD also checked the F4W Board, where someone noted that sped up Blade laughing sounds like Jim Neidhart. (:70) Blade remembers wearing shoe polish to look like Darryl Hall in third grade. If RD had his hair back he would leave it wet ala Bret Hart. Blade may not look like Brian Pillman in his youth or his AEW son, but he shares his madness. RD continues to make baffling references.

As for their favorite guests, (:75) Blade has Rebel eating cereal, 2011 Halloween Piper, the Zombie, and Kari Wuhrer. RD has run-in Piper, John Tenta, and his mother. Blade filibusters by remembering his ex-girlfriend who was tired of hearing about Eric Bischoff. This leads into RD successfully calling the other end to "prank call" her. 

RD fails to find Ken Patera on Cameo. (:91) The Co-Fruitcakes are still unimpressed by WWE. Someone asked Blade why he hasn't done his Ratings Reaper impression in a while. He's too distracted by whoever is left in the company throwing all their shit at the wall to impress Vince, like Shane McMahon's Fight Club rip-off. RD compares them both to the Apter Mag's complaining Old Man. He then repeats his Nathaniel impression. "We're like every other podcast now."

Blade sings about not wanting to go beyond Thunderdome.

$32.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 15th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, coastymarshmellow.com (new), wrestlecrapradio.com
  
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 6. Wrong turns, prank phone calls, special, Stratus vs James Wrestlemania match, Rebel and Dynamite, getting people on the show.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Blade's Ex Girlfriend, Jim, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (2), Stubby, Bitey, Blade's Ex Girlfriend (3)

 

• F-Bombs:  3. Jim, Jim (2), Blade's Ex Girlfriend 

 

• Mama’s Damn, Damn, Damn Broken Dishes:  2
• Blade Time Outs:  10
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Dan
  
• Just had a flashback WrestleCrap Radio flashback while on vacation.  There’s some dudes with hairy backs on the beach and it reminded me of RD’s bachelor party where the DJ said "somebody shave that guy's back". Thanks for the laughs.  That was not my bachelor party.

 

• Question of the Week from: Unknown
  
• Hey RD and Blade, in Scotland we went into lockdown in March and I’ve been working from home ever since. To pass the time, I made the decision to go back and listen to every WrestleCrap Radio from the beginning, which I finished this morning. Should I be worried about my decision making skills? Yes.

 

• Favorite Memories: Marcho Madness, RD and Blade hybrid shows, TNA News 14 years in took five people, Fun with Tammy Episode, Turn the Page.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  All-Time WrestleCrap Radio Guests
• RD:  “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, John Tenta, Momma Deal (non sequentially)
• Blade:  Kari Wuhrer, ECW Zombie, Rebel

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, but a song instead. 

(to the tune of “We Don't Need Another Hero” by Tina Turner)

Outside of the ring
Digital wreckage
Vince made a mistake this time

We were once mark fans
The New Generation (The New Generation)
The ones that watched in ‘95

And I wonder if Raw is ever gonna change
Boring year after year
Wrestling’s not the same

We don’t need to see Benoit
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome

All the mark fans say
We don’t need to see Benoit (We don’t need to see Benoit)
We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes (We don’t need to see the clan Rhodes)
All we want is Robbie-Young Thunderdome