283 Stickhead: May 29, 2019

86 minutes

You R.D. can "Stick It", brother!

RD believes that there is a Listener in every timezone, all 24 of them. Perhaps there's half of a Listener in each? Blade crawled out of bed in order to record after recovering from sharing a room with RD at Starrcast II in Las Vegas (where he was feeling even worse).

Sad News: RD did not ask Eric Bischoff, James Storm, or Stu Saks about their favorite cereals while there. He did however go to a CVS with Botchamania Maffew and made fun of him for purchasing some "fake milk". (:13) Their WrestleCrap panel, even if sparsely visited, outdrew Booker T's thanks to the help of many guests there. The two then had dinner at Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo. RD once sat at a table (not in Vegas) with Dave Meltzer and Bryan Meltzer who was eating sauce-less ribs. At the StageCoach Casino (in Vegas) Blade drank $3 40 year old Michelob.

Blade: "I'm ashamed of myself."

Speaking of shame, Terri Runnels was arrested in Florida for carrying a concealed loaded handgun. (:28) Blade thinks she has an attractive mugshot, which sounds like something that should be added to any dating site profile for maximum effectiveness. Vince Russo, still blacklisted from Starrcast, has a conspiracy theory that WWE and AEW are secretly in cahoots. RD disagrees. Blade: "I know, right?" (:30)

Tam is still in jail. (:35) Her parole hearing has been postponed for the second time, to August 23rd. She then has six days from that to appear at Starrcast III. Blade: "I miss her doing things."

Bill Apter livens things up by singing with his AptTrolla. (:39) In a supposedly new segment that needs a name, RD will read something from an old Apter Mag (many having been sold at their stand). Today's is from Inside Wrestling, December 1991, Page 30, with an article 'written by' - what a coincidence, Alexandra York. She 'writes' about people needing to join her credit union before they can join her Foundation. Perhaps if she had stayed in it she would have learned from her computer that carrying around a loaded handgun was a bad idea. Blade wonders where all the computers went. RD thinks they went to NORAD. Unsurprisingly, Blade has no idea what NORAD is. Didn't he see WarGames?

William Ridge Casey on Facebook: "Why do wrestlers hate chairs so much?"
Blade: "Because desks are too heavy." (:52)

The Co-Fruitcakes enjoyed Double Or Nothing featuring a (for once) non-Angry Happy Jim. "I don't menstruate," Blade has to clarify for some reason.

On the subject of who they would like to see in AEW, Blade wants Sting, the Black Scorpion, and Demolition (again). RD wants Fred Ottman as "Tug", Hornswoggle, and Mickie James.

Speaking of Hornswoggle, RD got along ridiculously well with Mr. Postl, who visited their stand as an admitted huge fan of WC (and having been in a lot of inducted stuff, including not one but TWO Gooker winners, he should know), strengthened by their shared interest in something called "Muppets dirtsheets". RD promises with great certainty that he will be appearing soon on the radio progrem.

At DON former Dean Ambrose Jon Moxley livened up the whole arena by walking right past RD. (:62) On Chris Jericho's podcast he mentioned how ridiculously senile Vince was during his tenure. Who does he think he is, the President of the United States? (Does that mean he now has to induct himself into his Hall of Fame?) Blade tries out what RD terms "the best voice you've ever done" before he makes an actually sensible good point (yes, I know) that RD and I agree with: all the money in the world, even if it buys you happiness, cannot find for you contentment if the setting does not grant you the space to support it.

RD did not meet Eric in person at the show as he was busy having a good time with others. Blade did however see him at the stand (while RD was away) after being visited by Lizzy Valentine and Mr. Fitness (2). (:77) He actually signed one of his stickheads with some rather...choice words for RD. Later someone visited him at his stand to try to sign another, and Eric actually gave him $10 instead. Clearly that was a bargain at half the price. He did however join them on their shuttle at the end of the day where he called RD, quote: 

"A bowl of douche water!"

Seventeen Syllables right here for us:

The Bischoff stickhead. 

The only thing worse than that?

Bowl of douche water.

"Don't Google it."

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Recorded video footage of the attempt to get Eric's signature substituted by $10 is on Patreon, with him laughing about it. Blade wishes he is next insulted by him. (7 minutes) 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Patreon
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Krokus, Ken Resnick

 

• Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse: Too much fun in Vegas.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Bill Apter
  

 

• Blade Time Outs:  7
• Blade Burps: 1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  2 (after nearly an hour)
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  

 

• Debut: ApterTrolla

 

• Question of the Week from: William Ridge Casey
  
• Cody destroying Triple H’s throne, Dean Ambrose destroying Bray Wyatt’s rocking chair, and the countless times when wrestlers have used chairs as weapons, why do wrestlers hate chairs so much? Blade: Because desks are too heavy.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 Wrestlers you would like to see in AEW.
• RD:  Fred Ottman, Hornswoggle (replaces Cheatum), Mickie James
• Blade:  Sting, Black Scorpion, and Demolition

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Somebody bought what?
  
  The Bischoff stickhead. 

  The only thing worse than that?

  Bowl of douche water.

 

276 Controversy Creates Crap: September 5, 2018

"If a picture paints a thousand words..." (-@WrestleCrapRD)

75 minutes

RD & Blade have returned from having fun at Starrcast, all photographically catalogued on RD's Facebook profile, should you or one of my fellow Librarians get around to storing it all for future reference. This involved RD skinning the Gobbledy Gooker for his outfit while Blade wore the "heavy" Oz robe with his "trapezoids". RD thanks Conrad for the success of the show through logistically handling the 140+ guest speakers there. Blade had no idea how he got up there to attend.

RD: "Nothing but the finest for Blade Braxton." (:06)

They also met Jordan Mishkin in person for the first time who was a great help throughout. Blade met Diamond Dan for the first time without having to call his hotline. Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.

While there:

• Veda Scott helped apply Katie Vick's makeup (:10) much to Rosa Mendez's initial disgust towards a cheerleader mannequin. Mandy Leon liked her hair though. 
• Simon Gotch was next to them all weekend. Blade caught up with him. (:14) Lanny Poffo was also around for a bit with Jay Lethal. 
• RD Meet Dave Meltzer for the first time. (:16) Blade met Bryan and Dr. Keith Lipinski. 
• Botchamania Maffew was a laugh riot.
• The Ghost of Joey Ryan gravitated to Katie's casket. (:19) Many other folks encountered her both in and out of it including Joel Gertner taking a photo inside it. 
• Lex Luger is a fan of his hometown Bills and their loose fitting t-shirts (not the "ABC Pro Bowl Team" according to Blade.) (:23) Seeing Katie wheeled around surprised him. 
• RD was drawn on a Death of WCW related comic book cover. (:26)
• David Arquette attended the afterparty with other great folks.
• Just about everyone met was super nice and gracious, as it should be at any convention.

SPEAKING OF Rebel, (:26) she eats Fruity Pebbles for breakfast. While visiting the stand she tried some Peanut Butter and Cocoa. While it smelled good enough for a few other people to gather round and try, it sadly had no taste. Also she does not like soggy cereal or having it with milk.

Upon landing and meeting the Co-Fruitcakes went straight to Walmart and its cereal aisle.

Joel Gertner likes the original unaltered Cocoa Puffs. (:36) These days like Mike Reno before him he prefers the ladies for breakfast. He also went with them to Giordano's for evening pizza. RD: "Does the pizza sound delicious?"

The WC panel (purchase and watch it here) had singing Bill Apter going over a few of his old mag covers. (:41)  Oscar of Men On A Mission vented his anger through a funny rap. Dr D still has a fiery look even now. A segment of Kevin Sullivan was played where he talked about how his one time teleport cannot be replicated because you have to be in the right neighborhood to do it, or something.

Jim was also there for some reason. (:52) He spent his time trying to traverse a maze of people in the parking lot at 1 am. "You can go fuck yourself!" he says randomly, as is his custom.

RD feels he could have done better at the Death of WCW panel (which you can also purchase and watch here). (:55) He was more fascinated (© Mike Check) by his supplemental interaction with Eric Bischoff. This is also included in RD's photo feed.

Their first meeting was in one of the photo ops. areas, with the two situated between Eric and Sean Waltman. Eric was also disgusted by Katie, then had to suffer a low person flow (imagine that) with everyone going to the WC table instead. A break in the action had RD coming over to him, and Blade's photo of it easily showed how already annoyed Bischoff was, even in low resolution.

The panel was the next day (with the aforementioned Sullivan and David Penzer). Bischoff admitted beforehand that he was not a funny person (again, imagine that). The two were on each other right from the start, though RD was the one ultimately succeeding in provoking him. Thankfully their agreeing on a few points and RD reminding him that he wrote that he was an influential and pioneering genius in the business many a time calmed him down. At the end of the panel they shook hands in respect (unlike at the beginning where Eric flipped him off). Blade lamented his limited involvement in all of this.

The true shock was afterwards however. RD, continuing to have no hard feelings, thanked Bischoff for the panel. Bischoff then told RD that he thought Dave Meltzer wrote the book (instead of just a foreword) that he didn't even read in the first place. This was such an absurd revelation that the two just started laughing at the whole thing. This finally helped resolve things between them, enough that they would pose for some more photos. In a more positive light anyway.

And to think that Bischoff wanted to castrate him.

I'm curious to see what the Haiku is all about (after Blade misses his cue):
Labor Day Starrcast.
There's money in the casket.
Katie got around.




$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Rebel, Rebel (2).
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Rebel, Joel Gertner, Jim
  

• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Pimpin’ mannequins ain’t easy:
  Labor Day Starrcast.
  There's money in the casket.
  Katie got around.

   

"Eric, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

275 At Home With Dr. D: August 28, 2018

When a man tells you to listen to a radio progrem,
you listen to a radio progrem, wo-man!

90 minutes

Special Patreon offer: Become a valued supporter and listen to an extended version of the entire phone call interview right now. Don't delay, or Dr. D will hunt you down. This is not a joke.

RD thinks their Starrcast presence counts as their long awaited for WC Carnival.

We cut to their interview with Dr. D David Schultz already in progress. (:04 - :76) The three have a lot of fun discussing many things of both his wrestling and bounty hunting, throwing bread in his house, and his dream of finally choking out Vince. Get to reading his book if you haven't done so already! (No digital version available at the moment unfortunately.)

Also he doesn't eat any breakfast cereals. He eats heartier stuff instead.

Somehow this radio progrem is 13 years old so RD tries to get to Ken Patera and his swinging full nelson. (:80) He reminds people that the above linked Starrcast pass also has other panels to stream beyond their ones. Also Eric Bischoff has more promos to cut on his podcast for cheques that he can't cash. RD worries what he's getting into.

Blade: "This is a clean show."

Of course, the Haiku. Here's our puberty right now, seventeen syllables:
Thirteen years of Crap.
How should we all celebrate?
Party at Starrcast.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right   

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 13th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Starrcast, Fyte TV, EatSleepWrestle.com
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Dr. D

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Dr. D, Wo-man, Conrad Thompson, Eric Bischoff

• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The boys and the 17 syllables hit puberty?
  Thirteen years of Crap.
  How should we all celebrate?
  Party at Starrcast.
  

273 Heel-Off: May 13, 2018

 

 27 minutes

The face of a man who thinks Hogan beating
Sting after a year of build-up was a good idea

Kai has also written something about this. Give it a look too won't you?

Blade is outside on a live remote getting heatstroke "like a lobster in a way." RD would eat some lobster if it would improve his spirits, especially if Sting delivered it to him, preferably while attached to a helicopter.

Blade: "I write the itineraries. Sometimes."

The cause of this impromptu recording is THIS MAN: former wrestling bigwig Eric Bischoff (or Bitchoff as the Honky Tonk non-Mail-Man likes to call him). He has own podcast now you see. (:04) All you need to know about it and him is that it's called 83 Weeks, referring to the time period where Nitro beat Raw in the ratings...over 21 years ago. If it were a living person it would be old enough to drink, probably to forget about Thunder.

It's only the second episode (of his show, not WWCR, although it feels like that sometimes) and we learn that Eric has a sudden grudge against RD. An except (:07 - :11) has his co-host Conrad Thompson read to him one (1) passage from The Death Of WCW about how bad the once red-hot WCW ended up becoming under his watch, on its way to losing $15 million in 1999. Speaking in phone-buzzing echoing fidelity Eric rambled against RD and Bryan Alvarez about how the "clowns" didn't interview him for the book (despite not actually responding to their original questions) and misread his actual financial standing, and that he won't sign "a book he didn't write" ( to quote RD who has his own heel promo against him).

Fig.1: Eric Bischoff's actual financial standing in action

RD thinks Eric has more of an issue of his unflattering image on the original cover as seen at the top of this here post. This is despite other original cover guys Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Vince Russo not minding signings, and two of those three remain happily and healthily active in WWE and elsewhere (unlike Eric). RD also reminds that he also wrote in the book that Eric was a pioneering genius who's early success with Nitro should be studied and emulated, and helped bring professional wrestling into the 21st century (:14). This was kept in the reprint even after he was kicked out of TNA.

In another podcast excerpt (:15 - :17) co-host Conrad manages to persuade Eric to go to Starrcast by All-In in Chicago in September to continue to passionately flail and fail in person about how in fact, WCW's downfall was actually a good thing, or something.

Why is he intently reading
the dust jacket?

RD announces that he too will be there to face him, he will bring Blade as backup, and among other featured guests Kevin Sullivan and JJ Dillon will be there (perhaps as judges). Blade brings back the idea of holding the WWCR Carnival (:21) and perhaps after they are done with that they can join in the Roast of Bruce Prichard as well. (Coincidentally Hall and Nash will also be there as featured guests. Also coincidentally Russo will not.)

Additionally, in regard's to Eric's attempts to continue being a rabble-rousing tough guy heel persona (admittedly still far too widespread and outdated in the profession outside of the ring and active working as a whole) in a bid to remain relevant and not left behind as the industry changes, they just seem somewhat embarrassing, and this is during a time where such bluster is accepted and even sometimes rewarded. His now white hair belies his older years of no longer being a leader on the air as he was before let alone being a persona non grata in WWE, his long time rival even now. Before in the so called "good old days" he could make out with middle-aged housewives just because he could. Now they are the only legible people in his current dating pool (if such a thing is applicable) without paying upfront first.

(Let us hope he uses protection though even now. We don't want another Garrett Bischoff running around now, do we?)

Present Day Eric Bischoff

Seventeen Syllables:
Bischoff hates the Crap.
"I'm tired of hearing a-
bout Eric Bischoff!!!"



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. The Death of WCW, Starrcade, Diamond Dan Hot Line
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• F-Bombs:  1. Conrad Thompson 

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Conrad Thompson, Eric Bischoff

• Blade Time Outs:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  1
  

 

• Question of the Week from: N/A

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade's sick of hearing about Easy E:
  Bischoff hates the Crap.
  "I'm tired of hearing a-
  bout Eric Bischoff!!!"
  

WCR Video: Cartoon: "I'm Tired Of Hearing About Eric Bischoff!"

In the first "Breaking News" edition of Wrestlecrap Radio (#273) in half a decade (discounting that time two years ago when Matt Hardy threw a baby at Brother Nero Jeff), RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton play clips from the 2nd episode of Former WCW President Eric Bischoff's new podcast "83 Weeks" (which dealt with the infamous "Finger Poke of Doom", where on the post Starrcade 1998 edition of WCW Monday Nitro, Kevin Nash laid down for Hulk Hogan after a simple zap from his finger to lose the WCW World Title). The clips involved Eric's co-host Conrad Thompson (also the co-host of the popular podcasts "Something To Wrestle With" with Bruce Prichard and "What Happened When" with Tony Schiavone) using RD and Bryan Alvarez's "The Death Of WCW" book as a reference, and Eric refusing to give the book any credibility and calling the authors, quote: "Clowns", unquote (we actually prefer the term "Fruitcakes", but whatever?).

Oh Wait? The Video? Well, this progrem reminded me of an old cartoon I made using GoAnimate.com featuring "a very loosely based" account of Blade's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend throwing a fit about the very person mentioned in this topic:


(By RVM Kai)

...Fascinating?

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives, and for more WCR cartoons, click here! And go to "The Mike Check Show" to hear Eric's WCW theme...which is just an instrumental ripped off from the film Desperado, here.

RD's Festivus "Airing of the Grievances"

I can’t believe it’s been one year since I’ve been recruited here. Since then I’ve had encounters with nerd zombies and had a Twitter war with Angry Jim Ross (out of all people).

Unfortunately my job plus being forced to find Mike Check made things way too difficult, and in fact I can’t release most of the stories yet on how I finally found the man due to some “POSSIBLE LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS” against us. So in honor of last year while I’m waiting on Clarence Mason giving me the OK to release I decided to bring in the holiday tradition like I did last year.

Last year I decided to do my own version of the Steve Martin “Saturday Night Live” classic bit “One Christmas Wish” and well…this year I decided to bring my heritage on the site. You see I…well…I celebrate Festivus, the Festival for the Rest of Us.
I’ll let this explain it:



Yup. That’s what I celebrate and since my family is out of town for the first time in years I have decided to do the annual “Airing of the Grievances” where I tell all of you how I feel about all of you the past year. Let’s start off with…

1. WWE’s latest thing they want to cram down our throats which is my new headache I call Ryback! The thing that I have with the artist formerly known as Skip Sheffield is this; when Ryback re-debuted IMMEDIATELY he was hyped as a killing machine that can’t be stopped! If you define “killing machine” as a big, muscle guy that can’t feel pain by taking on living stick men then yes! Then Ryback continues to basically not only become a walking accident but, man, his interviews are SO douchy! Ryback says in recent interviews that “he knew” that he was going to be a star. You know who else say this? “American Idol” train wreck losers that’s what! You know what I mean! The ones that sing SO bad that their notes register in notes that only dogs and inter-dimensional beings can hear! Most recently Ryback has said that “he no longer hears the Goldberg chants because they are gone!” Last time I checked which was last week’s RAW the “Goldberg” chants still exist! The guy’s a giant douche!

2. You know what I got a complaint about? The recent pop music that is out there. That’s the reason why most “American Idol” failures think they can be famous! Nicki Minaj can’t even sing and Lady Gaga can barely carry a GD note! Yet all they have to do is dress up like morons and they get people to like them! Hell Gaga wore a meat dress while carrying a purse with the C-Word on it! It is kind of like pro wrestling now when all you need is a flashy gimmick and screw the talent! Where’s the talent? Where’s the love? Where’s the desire to sing a damn good song not a song that will impress Simon Cowell or you have to do while wearing a blonde wig while stomping on an apple pie? Music is now a joke and I mean that literally!

3. Speaking of jokes I have a serious complaint about “The Creeps”, fans of “New Year’s Day”. For fans of the Podcast you know I’m friends with Ash Costello and Ash has been strongly for supporting individuality; yet her damn fans are trying to copy her! Honestly I never understood the whole fandom base when fans think they can do what they want and find it acceptable yet when others see them they go “WTF?!?” In this case they are copying Ash’s look, hair, nails, the whole she-bang! Also isn’t that a WEEE bit hypocritical when the fans try to take away Ash’s identity?!? The “Sheep Creeps” as I like to call them now need to respect Ash. Then again they are fans so they aren’t going to give a damn!

4. Speaking of fans yet again! TNA what the hell?!? Yeah I know that the whole Claire Lynch storyline was crap but how could you let the online wrestling fans bully the actress that played Claire Lynch off your programming?!? Was Claire like a temp or something so you decided not to protect her; and what the hell is Hulk Hogan talking about wanting the TNA World Title? I mean COME ON!
And uh…uh…okay I lost my train of thought there. Something to do with Cena, The Incredible Hulk, and hamsters. Okay now I remember.

5. Angry Jim Ross! I don’t know how you wanted a piece of me you SON OF A BITCH! I got three very familiar words for you! GO F**K Yourself!!!


I think the “Airing of the Grievances” is done with. Now if you will excuse me I got to find someone for the “Feats of Strength”.

(171) WrestleMat Radio: April 2, 2010

27 minutes

RD & Blade talk about wrestling... 

...

...or do they?

165 I have something to say...Again.: January 15, 2010

70 minutes

His fantasy football team sucked, so RD must recite many listener-submitted insults. He fights back with some weak excuses. But he finally concedes "I'm an idiot."

RD doesn't get 'Diet' meals served at eating establishments. (:14) But he does get KFC's 395 meal. Blade loves their grilled chicken (I always enjoy their chicken sandwiches) He then awkwardly manages to summon Popeye on air so he can make RD flirt with him. (:19) But it feels wrong somehow, and I can't place my finger on it. All I'm saying is if I wanted to go out with myself I probably wouldn't need to have to flirt first, if you know what I'm saying. And if you do you sure have one dirty mind. (But don't we all? ... Don't answer that.)

:22 Roddy Piper's warnings about idiots driving cars are remembered, as his daughter was almost hit by a bus. Nobody was willing to pay 5 grand for Damian Demento's Shoulder pads, even if proceeds were going to help the USO. For some reason the Co-Fruitcakes want to know the "story of how the pads originated" so Blade 'promises' that Sir Alec will have the inside scoop of that in the month. Yeah right, I'll believe it when I see hear it. The HorseTrolla tells us Mickie James will release a country album around late March. Blade makes RD say 'cunnilingus'.

U Can't See Wii.

:37 Inspired by John Cena going on about Punch-Out!! on TV, Blade decides to extend the progrem by another hour with some video game segment. Thus the new arrival of Nintendo John, AKA Angry Jim Ross as Satanic Billy Graham as John Cena. He's borrowed Sir Alec's enthusiastic audience to cheer him on. He says things that are hard to comprehend and then pixels out to join his brothers Sony Jack and Microsoft James. What say you in response, RD?

"I want the Manning Brothers to double penetrate me while sticking a ball gag in my mouth."

Not exactly my finest insult, but I suppose it will have to do.

Today's Question (:43) is from Alexis2K. Apparently the recently deceased Victor Borga was a secret member of the Kobra Kai. RD is forced to apologize for Mike Check which puzzles me. He was probably their best and most fascinating TNA correspondent so far.

Only one limp piece of Current News troubles us. (:49) And it's not RD wanting Bryan Alvarez to do his John Cena impersonation. Randy Orton is in trouble for spitting gum into a young fan's face, which is good a time as any for Sir Alec to narrate a randy Randy story for us all where he goes all stalkerish on Mickie James. RD doesn't want to read any more lines so he tries to hide behind the haiku music, but Blade still makes him read one from the peanut gallery.

Seventeen syllables about good old Hornswoggle:
Hornswoggle is great.
He's a champion on screen.
He's nude in my mind.

Thankfully this is not enough for Blade and the faithful listeners, so for the next seven minutes Blade makes RD read some more demeaning lines and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me."

Blade: "Did I tell you I love this show yet?"

161 Under a Full Mooney: November 13, 2009

New RAW Announcer? Sean or Ian?

70 minutes

A new rumor is currently afloat: EventCenter might return to the airwaves. RD wants Sean Mooney to host it again as he watches a random thing about him. Blade of course has no recollection, but it's not due to his drinking. Somehow Craig DeGeorge doing oral is involved so Popeye wants in on the action. RD gives him five seconds as he has more important matters to take care of; he rolls a 6 and enlists F Sin's help in making another video against Damien Demento. If his adversary sings a cartoon theme, then BY GOD RD will sing his own! (:09) Of course Blade thinks he's dissing the man's penis. He wastes another Big Announcement for having an upcoming shot of his own in this skirmish.

RD was stealing from his son's Halloween stash as he took a TRIP to eat some Whoppers. (:12) (The Hershey's chocolates, not Burger King.) Blade hates them for some reason and wants to make his own rival candy - the Big Mac. He confounds RD as he does this, as expected.

Time for some Obscure News, so early in the show too! That can't be good. (:17) Blade takes an opportunity to make another football bet, this time with the Yahoo Fantasy League the duo and I are in. (RD has the Mike Checks Whackers, at the time of writing in the lead, Blade has the Midnight Blades competing with him, and my PB Justice League is desperately trying hard not to be dead last. Ah, such is my lot.) Blade decides to repeat the "I Have Something To Say" bet from the 2006-7 season. This should be actually good, for once.


Anyway, some Sad News: (:21) Lillian Garcia had an altercation in New York. She's doing fine though. Chained wallets are brought up. Catalina "Sailor James" White's name brings Popeye back, for slightly longer this time too to make Blade chuckle. She's doing porn now, as the two have fun with her name. That is something two people named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton are experts at, apparently.

WWE Announcer Lauren Mayhew is trying to give away copies of her singing. Blade wants he and RD to dress up as Wookies and kiss each other, but only if Popeye can watch.

The BabyTrolla gives birth to Candice Michelle being pregnant, or something. So at least we know what she's up to now that she's gone from wrestling. Hit the porn music! This gives an excuse for another Don Mason story, so RD plays the old Current News music for it. In this case Don bought a Right Said Fred album in the 90s, but that's not the story; he's just getting heavily drunk at a bar while thinking how good ejaculating in a woman is.

The HorseTrolla neighs. (:37) Jim Ross had to come to the defense of Mickie James to protect her from a random fan 'congregating' on the Interwebs. It's as good an excuse as any to call him up. JR doesn't like Dave Meltzer since it's the in-thing right now, and he continues to give RD a case of the giggles. This year he's sure to bring in the customers with his new gravy and his new slogans and giving people blowjobs. But back to the whole subject in the first place, did you remember that at all? Blade gets Sir Alec (and his Four Seasons music) to read the fan's missive. (:50)

Today's Question Answer from Mav makes fun of some random hairstyles. (:55) RD asks for photos.

Johnny Four is so stuck he repeats the previous week's 'news' of Hogan and Bischoff coming to TNA. That's it. (:58) RD wants to do some live remotes for Black Friday, Blade wants to take Stubby with him.

This Week on Current News, (:62) Hogan is still up against Flair Down Under. RD reads down the card, and if you want to see Brutus Beefcake facing Heidenreich then this is the show for you! Also Flair got married again.

Seventeen Syllables of Speech:
New RAW Announcer?
Mooney is back from the dead.
Don't forget Ian.

160 Trick or Tonic: October 30, 2009

93 minutes

After a month (!!!) of inaction, WrestleCrap Radio returns from beyond the grave. For a moment I thought we were back in 2006 again. Wait, what am I saying? The show always feels like it's in 2006.

RD has "so much to talk about", i.e. nothing at all, but he does have some bottle of tonic delivered to him, adorned with Papa Shongo's visage. Blade gets to randomly sing early in response, but he also 'coincidentally' has a bottle of his own.

RD: "I don't like where this is going."

You don't say.

The bravely bold Damien Demento gets a Hit on his Scatter roll with a fresh barrage of attacks against his usual targets. (:07) Blade prepares against him with a Rocky IV montage with the help of Stubby and a masked Don...Don Mason who train him in Siberia, Kansas, which quickly gets its own remix. Blade thus challenges him again to a boxing match, but Double D instead thinks of them as playing for the opposing team and sends Gay Popeye against them for more random talk. Does RD secretly have erotic feelings for Demento? How would that even work?

Popeye also has his own bottle of tonic, and thinking it will cure his erectile dysfunction problems takes a sip. (:13) A random horror movie sound bite plays and he reverts to his 1930's persona, strangely wanting to open his can of spinach in Olive Oyl instead of the usual Bluto. This desire soon fades with some tinkling of piano keys and he returns to his homosexual senses to see Bluto waiting for him as he always does.

RD: "That was very very strange."

But back to Demento, who instead challenges the Co-Fruitcakes to a sing-off. He will sing the Underdog cartoon theme song. RD falls back to randomly singing to his Dr. Feelgood MIDI. Blade wants to dress up as Mickie James on Halloween to annoy people and indirectly be allowed to have sex with the Diva. Whatever you say, Mr. Brakestown.

Blade: Halloween Cap'n Crunch turns the milk green.

RD didn't take a TRIP to the Grocery (:22) but went to a Chicago pinball Expo instead during the hiatus. He saw a Playboy pinball machine there with a woman stripping naked for your amusement, and some peep show machine where the ball gets stuck and its players have to have sex with it as a result. Also some machine that appeared in a Jodie Foster movie was sold for only $200, and no one knows if John Hinkley was the successful bidder. Blade meanwhile had an encounter with a child molester in a library bathroom. Good time for PSA Roddy Piper to make his return! (:32) But not even he can help Blade's latest trashbagging story (complete with Sad News music). He is forced to take a dump in a tight bathroom and finds himself trapped inside with his bag. (That sounds like a modern horror movie.) He's compelled to apologize for some reason. He also promises to one day tell his 'favorite' trashbagging story involving a co-worker named Reuben.

Obscure News shambles along. (:38) Amy Weber gets confused with the concept of kayfabe as she was asked about why she left the WWE. Blade had a dream about how nice she was. Over in Japan Rene Dupree wants Shane McMahon to come over from leaving the company. RD mocks his thinking.

The HorseTrolla neighs (:45) causing Blade to hit himself in the nutsack, revealing that Mickie James was sent to Smackdown as some sort of 'punishment' for her weight. This makes Blade happy as he can make more sex jokes now. RD tries to caution him, wondering what's gotten into him for some reason that's only needed to further today's plot. Following their itinerary this makes Blade decide to tap into his tonic. (:49) Sadly the only thing it does is regress him into 2005 Blade by calming his earthly desires and make him think more inwardly. Bah! Where's Popeye where you need him? This lasts three minutes before he returns to normal as he tries to contain his quiet laughter.

Question of the Week. (:53) Charles has some rapid fire questions for the duo. RD shares my love for Coca-Cola, Picard and Mike Nelson. The last question: Nathaniel or Mike Check? This activates the SeanceTrolla sound effect. (:58) Sure enough, our favorite WWCR DJ comes on to scare Blade, particularly as he's somehow managed to hack into the contraption somehow. Remember, he's only pretending to be dead to escape John Thomas' clutches. He's having fun up in 'Heaven' but is somewhat weary of Wolfman Jack, who once thought he was infringing on him as Wolfman Mike while at Salem Winston's WBOO "Boo 92". Did he ever tell you about the time he was also at San Bernadino's KHIP "Hip 106" as Bob Salad in the Soup & Salad Musical Buffet? And now here's the McCoys here on the WHACKER!

RD: "What else could go wrong on this show?"

Time for Johnny 4 to show him, that's what. (:68) He plays the Atari ET game theme to again remind us how much he's supposed to be terrible, or at least what the two want us to think about him. I think he's just cute. "Nothing but the finest news!" we're told, as J4 tells us; Hogan and Bischoff are on TNA. This gives RD a dangerous idea to feed his robot companion some of the tonic, which he gladly does. The resulting (glowing) '08 era automaton now talks like Nathaniel as the G-Man of Half-Life, giving actual TNA news like some sort of AI narrator for a wrestling documentary. "Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha." Then he returns to normal and flops on the floor.

Current News. (:73) Jim Ross is still boldly battling his Bell's Palsy, but he still has time to call into the show. He says he faked the disease so he can take time off, even taking the time to glue his face to make it look more believable. Unfortunately his attempts to relax are constantly interrupted by well wishes in the mail and searches for royalty checks. He still hasn't gotten closer to his wife though, and gets paranoid about Johnny Ace circulating around his restaurant like a vulture. But he decides to take a test of his own tonic (of course they miss the obvious joke of trying to persuade him that its barbecue sauce). (:82) Sure enough he temporarily morphs into the 'original' '08 Jim Ross. Of course this doesn't last long.

RD: "It's like an alternate universe WrestleCrap Radio."

Cyndi Lauper and Maria are contestants on The Celebrity Apprentice. (:86) Unfortunately they can't do anything to stop the ending of the selling of WWE Ice Cream Bars. Blade always loved to eat Miss Elizabeth.

Seventeen Syllables on Damien Demento:
Demento's pissed off.
He's challenged me and RD.
Don't bring it, sing it?

Happy Halloween all.

137 The Tormento of Damien Demento: February 27, 2009

66 minutes

So it happens again. A year after his first attack, the brave Damien Demento sends another salvo to WrestleCrap. For what exactly, I don't know, so I'll let this picture explain it better (with acknowledgments to The Sam09):














Our Co-Hosses the Real Deal Fruitcake and the Fat Man commentate on the video. In return Blade challenges "Dependo" to some Front Yard Boxing. Perhaps he can also get the help of Peter Gazer with the Andre of that really weird Andre the Giant movie (:06) Could Demento also be on the show as the next TNA correspondent? (:11) One can only hope. Speaking of TNA the response to Mike Check has been "overwhelming". (:14) For once they're right.

No TRIP to the Grocery this week, as instead we have a visit to the WrestleCrap FanFiction Theatre. (:17) As Vivaldi's Spring and Pachebel's Canon in D play Blade does an English Jim Ross as Lord Alfred as Sir Alec Heineken...You know Alec right? The legendary thespian who was Obi-Too Kenobi of Start Wars, Prince FreeCell of Lawrence of Aruba and Colonel Nickelson of The Bridge on the River Why? This week has some Shawn Michaels and Triple H slash fiction. He leaves with applause. I'm expecting him to be the next TNA Correspondent now.

Obscure Wrestling News: (:24) Joanie Laurer has a new sex tape. Speaking of returns... RD bets on the Colts and Lions again such that the loser has to appear with her in the film (preferably with Nicole Bass too, no doubt.) (:27) Blade: "I do like Gerber baby wienies." Don...Don Mason and he would steal them for fun. Todd Bridges is now an indie wrestler. (:30) A Crapper is attending that show. Van Hammer unretires against a 'Champ Champagne', which gives the latter an excuse to make references to The Wrestler. (:32)

Question of the Week (:36) from Ed "Don't call me Han" Salo (3), is about Cheatum Spinning the Wheel (Making the Deal) at birthday parties. Blade talks about old shows blending and repeating stories, but if this site can't help him then what will? As if in response RD re-talks about his attempt to "Let's make a Real Deal".

RD uses a radio to tune in Mike Check. (:43) In his ramblings to 'RT and Brad' he talks about a Nostradamus Norris, his already outdated MySpace page, nicknaming WWCR as The Whacker, and his time as Bob Ali (working alongside Cassius Weave) on the Bob & Weave Morning Drive in Ithaca NY's WTKO "The Knockout".  Oh, and some random TNA woman named Taylor Wild. Mike plays Wildfire for her, RD's old theme song.

Current Wrestling News. (:55) Ricky Steamboat, walking corpse. Some more Mickey Rourke discussion. Could HE be their next TNA correspondent? Hulk Hogan is saying that he was originally going to be Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Unfortunately he didn't say that Linda Hogan was supposed to be in Milk.

Seventeen Syllables:
So very scary.
He's Damien Demento.
Live from a closet.

100 Trashbaggin' in a Dwarf House: April 11, 2008

Trashbaggin' in a Dwarf House
"one of the single worst shows" (:81)
(83 minutes)

Sad News: Blade's lime Simon LeBon t-shirt is gone.

Jakks released a Matilda action figure, albeit with the British Bulldog. One may need to look underneath to make sure it's not Winston, says RD. (:04) This opens a Pandora's box, as Blade tells story about a gay dog's penis (:06), and hallucinates that RD said something about Greg tasting dog semen (:08).

Big Daddy V/World's Largest Love Machine/Viscera/Mabel was taken off the road because he's overweight (:09), which begs the question: why now instead of fifteen years ago?

Nothing happens for four minutes, then RD introduces Blade to Hayseed Dixie, the AC/DC cover band, which is to say nothing happens for nine minutes. Then RD unveils that he went to the Chick-Fil-A Dwarf House (:18). Apparently Gordon Solie was sick (:20). The Coal Miner's Daughter, Sissy Spacek, is not a door (:21). The Dwarfs weren't mining gold nuggets, but chicken nuggets (:25).

Blade got pulled over by the cops again, and must explain the ancient construction-worker secret art of trashbaggin' it (:30). He also tells his 'favorite' story. RD: "You can limit it down to just one?"

Obscure Wrestling News: Mike Knox left some possessions in his former residence (:35). Trish Stratus is opening a yoga studio (:39). This week's induction is the Death of ECW. The Undertaker has a large bedroom for his "huge, special bed" (:42). Jim Ross blogged about Test turning his life around. Turns out there was no wrestling news this week.

DO NOT ZOOM IN

RD calls Jim Ross's office as Blade rambles about another trashbaggin' story (:48). "Good Ol' JR" as interpreted by Blade calls the show and rambles for ten minutes. This just in from the Faxtrolla: Test was arrested for drunk driving (:57). "JR": "Buh Gawd he got shitfaced aghen!"

Johnny 6 rolls in to say "Ich. Bin. Ein. T. N. A. Er." because of TNA being broadcast in Germany (:60).

Question of the Week from I.C.: There may be another Short Circuit movie. Johnny Six to Blade: "Hi. Fuck. Face. ... I. Don't. Do. Incest. Like. You. Do." (:67)

Blade says Brother Midnight may address Damien Demento (:71). WWE may build a Hall of Fame. There will be no Katie Vick exhibit. RD suggests that Blade's DNA wasn't the first sample on that outfit (:73). Animatronic Fabulous Moolah. Miss Elizabeth was hotter in WCW. Michelle McCool isn't (:77).

Seventeen Syllable Haiku For This Week:
Barack versus Clinton.
And soon their mixed tag partners:
Donald and Rosie.

097 Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton: March 14, 2008

Krankor Speaks (to the people of Earth)

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton
(77 minutes)

Unexpectedly, the show begins with wrestling news: Jeff Hardy pulled a Blade Braxton and was suspended for sixty days for violating the wellness policy.

For more information, skip ahead seventy minutes.

RD and Blade imitate Lord Alfred. Blade did color commentary on a shaky bootleg of a Whiplash Wrestling match, Jude Vice vs Brian Jacobs. Jude is the one wearing white tights. Whiplash Wrestling's official site is hosted by the fine folks at tripod.com.

Blade: "I bet Vickie Guerrero knows how to fuck."
RD: "I guarantee you that's not on the Observer this week."

No 24/7 (Week 6) (:13) as RD went to Atlanta for his job to stay in a paper-thin walled hotel with mirrors all over its bathrooms, and saw a Dwarf House Chick-fil-A. It's essentially a restaurant with an expanded Chic-Fil-A menu.

The Faxtrolla fires out obscure wrestling news at the 24-minute mark. Damien Demento has a rather confusing response to RD and Blade. RD thus thinks they have won the battle by default. Matt Morgan is an American Gladiator. Sean Morley (Val Venus) is selling his Mac Powerbook. Well, he TRIED to. All that work for 271 page views and zero bids.

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton (March Madness): A debate rages over who lactates more: Nathan Jones or Linda Hogan. (:39) Blade insists that everyone see the two-minute commercial for The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express instead of trying Hulk Hogan's contraption. (:42) The Crickets want to move out of WC HQ. Joanie Laurer's latest reality show is called "Celebrity Circus". She'll play the Bearded Lady. (:48)

The Question of the Week segment occurs. (:50) Shane Dillon has a trick question for the Co-Hosts. Blade wants to sire children with Alyssa Milano and doesn't like the Double Filet-o-Fish. RD saw A Clockwork Orange by mistake. [He probably saw it via the Ludovico Technique. Great film adaptation though. - PB]

RD summons Johnny 6 for TNA news, (:55) which consists solely of the fact that an audience member was hit by a (flying) fish during a Dudley Boyz match. "Thank. God. Lent. Is. Over. Soon," he says cryptically, prompting the Crickets to answer for him.

Sixty-two minutes into the show, the "current wrestling news scene" is discussed. A bait-and-switch at Raw leaves many mad. It is revealed that the ECW title is as valuable as a super sized combo meal from McDonald's.

Blade Braxton's Wrestling Haiku:
Hardy and Ashley
The correct phrase is Just Say
No, not just say blow.

RD proclaims, "That is the worst ending ever."

096 Home Cooking: March 7, 2008

Iron Sheik: Available For Parties...The Old Country Way!

"The roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows."
(64 minutes)

RD and Blade declare that Damien Demento got crapped. Youtube hosts their seven minute video, in which Lord Alfred Hayes "played the role of a balloon."

ED GE's current escort, Vickie Guerrero, apparently has a thing for men named Ed G. (:09)

Blade and RD begin to re-enact "Wrestletalk with Bill Apter and Ric Flair." (:11) The intent was for Blade Apter to ask a simple inane question, then RD Flair would discuss fashion for six minutes and then go down the roster and mock every other wrestler. RD requests that Blade impersonate Bill Apter and Jim Ross. Blade begins to do it. (:16)  Somehow that leads to RD praising last week's WWE 24/7 (Week 5) in which the British Bulldogs were featured. (:17) Blade likes "vintage Matilda action." RD plays dogs barking Jingle Bells.

RD points out that The Undertaker has been 15-0 at WrestleMania but many of the matches have been awful. These were his opponents: aging Jimmy Snuka, out-of-shape Jake the Snake, immobile Giant Gonzales, King Kong Bundy, Diesel, Sycho Sid, Kane, Boss Man, HHH, Flair, Big Show and Albert, Kane again, Orton, Mark Henry, and Batista.

The Faxtrolla spits out obscure wrestling news. (:21) The Iron Sheik is now available for parties. He'd be scarier than a clown. Jessica Hatch was in Maxim's Hometown Hottie contest. (:27) Does that mean she's only super hot when compared to other Houstonians? Blade and RD reminisce about the time they suggested that they should talk to her about maybe wanting to take a picture of their faces on each side of her ass. Heat celebrated 500 episodes, which is indeed obscure wrestling news. (:30) Talk about Shane McMahon leads to another instance of Don Mason using corn oil. Jeff Goldblum as the Fly.

RD says, "We would make the world a better place if we went around putting eggs on top of old ladies' heads."

The Question of the Week this week is a sad non-question letter. (:38) Brandon From Edmonton lost his job because he fell asleep at work while listening to RD and Blade discuss "a big-nippled vampire." I say if you can't sleep at work, then you don't want that job anyway. Blade responds by referencing Mickey James' Arby's roast beef. (:43)

Someone on the forums invites the Co-Hosts to his wedding. (:46)

Johnny 6 makes a cameo appearance. . . . (:48) RD says, "Never commit statutory rape...We used to be the Apple Dumpling Gang of internet radio shows. Now we're like the roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows." Johnny 6 insults Blade: "I. Did. Not. Know. Braxton. Wanted. To. Be. A. Wrestler."

WWE.com now has industry news. (:56) WrestleCrap's new goal is to be cited as a source on that web page, with Johnny 6 as a correspondent.

Blade Braxton's Seventeen Syllables on Money Mayweather:
Money Mayweather--
his boxing skills are cash, pro-
mo skills are welfare.

095 Demento v. "WrestlingCrip.com": March 1, 2008

RD's New Jobber Enemy

Demento v. "WrestlingCrip.com"
(77 minutes)

Blade Braxton is in studio, though he cannot drink from the WWE Niagara Falls cup. The Gimmick Table has returned.

Damien Demento, courageous YouTube shooter, has called out "WrestlingCrip.com." RD and Blade provide commentary for Demento's video. (:06 - :11)

24/7 Week 4 Blade's Trip to the World's Worst Grocery Store, the Kroger in Indianapolis off Route 31 (:15): he encountered a woman with an eye-patch to purchase a box of King Pedophile. He has a new look but his jokes are WCR-quality. RD also has fantastic news: he purchased an 8 pound bag of Coney Sauce.

RD has received a Clocktrolla (i.e. an actual clock that keeps actual time). It twitches like Candice Michelle on the mat.

Obscure Wrestling News (:31): Mick Foley was at a charity event. Twisted Sister was there but did not sing Burn In Hell. Blade begins to sing Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Great White.

Hulk Hogan has a new home at the Palms Palace Suites. (:38) The Zombie was trying to win money in a contest on Howard Stern and RD and Blade wonder if he rode the Sybian. Jeff Goldblum as the Fly. Victoria has a car or something. (:45)

In the Question of the Week segment from Austin Gilliam, (:50) RD says his main enemy is no longer Jared from Subway, it's Damien Demento. Jessica Alba is orange.

Johnny 6 has broken out of the bathroom that Blade had locked him in, insults him, and leaves: "I. Am. No. Geek. Screw. You. Brax. Ton." (:54) RD and Blade check out Johnny's nonmasculine myspace page. We are indirectly Rickrolled.

WWE is looking for slogans. (:60) RD suggests, "We Will Never Entertain You." Blade wants, "It's Like A Monkeys Tea Party." A jealous John Cena wants the Rock to return to wrestling. Blade points out that the Rock now weighs about 160 pounds. Cena has no hemorrhoids. (:68) ESPN Classic is airing AWA shows. Singing Taz. RD mimics Kermit singing It Ain't Easy Being Green. Maria has done a centerfold.

Wonderful Haiku (with Johann and Sebastian):
Maria's Playboy.
How could it be high fashion?
Bowtie on her bush.

088 Audio Snowball Christmas: December 21, 2007

"This...Place...Is...A...Pit"

Audio Snowball Christmas
(85 minutes)

This is an audio snowball fight. RD loves the pre-Xmas shows best. Clips of the WrestleCrap Choir singing Jingle Bells are interspersed in this show, one of them being Chris Engler, now of the Trolla Corporation. (:15)

Blade returned to hitting the bottle. Sad News: the Lions didn't make the playoffs. (:20) [They'll get 'em until next season! --Iggy] He has another "Big Announcement" for next time.

Blade has a heart-warming story about he and Don flipping off a girl during the Xmas season. (:26)

Obscure Wrestling News (:28): a Playboy Diva poll is shockingly led by Chyna and Ashley Massaro. Damien Demento has been shooting on Vince McMahon and people who call him a jobber. (:33) The Deever will be at the Big Boy Toy Show, which is not the title of a PPV.

Piper has Xmas clips about Santy Claus. (:39) Horsetrolla (:41): Bobtail was the horse's name in Jingle Bells. Mickie James went to the WWE events in Iraq. Blade is worried about wrestlers' helicopters being shot down while bad Creed songs are played. I think that since Vietnam was tragedy, the Iraq War is comedy.

The WrestleCrap Choir has the giggles and is drunk. (:45)

Question of the Week (:51): Give RD a prize/bribe to read your question. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book to further prove its existence. Travie Yak (2) wants WrestleCrap audio-books. More Piper clips.

Xmas Gift Exchange (:59): Blade received from C. Thomas Howell a rather...transposed gift. Deever's picture is ghostly white and her action figure is black. Perhaps she's the next Soul Man? He also got a Billy Sims Lions jersey. RD received a Brother Midnight T-Shirt (without pants of course) and a Potty Time bear.

Trolla also sent RD the TrollaTron 5200 AKA Johnny 6. (:69) His first words: "This. Place. Is. A. Pit." Blade suggests Johnny be the TNA correspondent. "T. N. A. Sucks," he replies, but he does like porn, so they balance out.

Barking Dogs.

Holiday Haiku That's a Little Bit Naughty and a Little Bit Nice:
WrestleCrap Christmas.
What would make the yuletide gay?
[Michael] Cole in your stocking.