Episode 10: Holy Fishbowl!: October 3, 2021

A Death Worse Than Fate
February 10, 1966
"Told that her loot is genuine money after all, Zelda is forced to lure Batman and Robin into a possibly unsolvable deathtrap, with hitmen waiting outside to shoot them if they escape."
77 minutes

Holy 10th Show Batman!, RD self-titles. He has issue with the show Russo Swerving a next week appearance by the Joker when it will actually be the Riddler again. However it could actually be confirming his theory that they were shown out of order like a JMS show. 

RD: "Everybody hold your breath: Russo's gonna do research."

Aunt Harriet is still levitating and peddling for over half an hour above a fire while the narrator does a Fat Albert impression. (:04) For some reason Robin is by himself when he goes to Police HQ while they try to reach Bruce for his ransom. 

O'Hara: "I've called every rich man's club and eating place in Gotham City, and he's in none of them...I bet Mr. Wayne is on some yacht eating sherbet and changing his clothes!" 

The two wonder if that line was actually in the shooting script. RD is reminded of Jackie Gleason ad-libbing in Smokey and the Bandit. Vince also has Gleason as Ralph Kramden tattooed on his right arm.

Robin responds to this bad line by getting into a rage. Gordon has to control him by bad touch rubbing his shoulders. 

Thankfully Bruce enters before things can escalate further. Apparently there is to be a color notification on TV, interrupting regular black and white programming while Zelda is knitting. Vince's confusion with crochet angers RD. (:12) He is further disturbed by Gordon stealing all the good quality cameras for his debauchery. Vince is further disturbed by the first announcement of:

Gordon: "Hello criminals wherever you are out there! Do you hear me criminals? This is Police Commissioner Gordon!"
Bruce: "I'm Bruce Wayne."
Robin: "And I'm Robin, Batman's aide. I speak for Batman officially."

Cue further bad attempts by the three to reach the criminal underworld without shockingly being prank called for it before Zelda does. (:18) Gordon has a signed sealed and notarized note from the newspaper about the money actually being real using a red ribbon on a newspaper copy. Robin: "Come on, ya crook!"

Zelda drops off Harriet. RD notes his hatred towards Vince due to tracking her lack of bra every time he sees her. He is further confused by the Duo further drugging Harriet at the Batcave. Vince thinks it's to help her cycling fit. (:26) Alfred gives an excuse of being too engrossed watching the television. Vince thinks it's Playboy After Dark somehow showing or recorded in the daytime. RD thinks he was watching an infinity mirror of his boss. But he knows where Zelda is and Bruce knows who Zelda is. As they descend the Batpoles RD wonders how Robin could get changed so quickly. 

This is also Batman's first appearance halfway through the episode, by the way.

Robin doesn't know who it is out of the 27 women licensed to be magicians in the city. RD wants to watch them go through the licensing process. Robin figures out it's the one he saw on his birthday due to her straitjacket that braless Harriet was tied up in. (:32)

Baman goes to the bookstore to get trapped - again - while the villains plot to kill him - again - with mafia henchmen in sarcophagi with tiny guns, despite Zelda's second thoughts. Vince takes offense at his Italian heritage being attacked by them signing a contract with a "wink-wink syndicate". RD wonders if Mr. Freeze would have offended his German heritage. 

The villains check out things in a "secret control room" with periscopes. Vince saw a golden cat reminding him of Catwoman, reaffirming his theory of out of order releasing as they were scheduled and prepared. Batman enters the trap through a secret bookshelf toggle: "Bizarre! A play without actors!" Robin: "The script could be for us!" "One way to find out - let's step in the limelight!" "Holy fishbowl!"

As expected Zelda falls for the "handsome creatures...can I help being a woman?" (:41)

RD: "At this point it gets kinda wacky."

As Eivol gloats about his trap and Robin tries to humor him Batman forms a Joker smile: "WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, GENIUS?" However his utility belt cannot stop the hydrogen gas "lighter than air", although it could be used on the electrified floor to cause an explosion...while they are inside of. RD is reminded of the Hindenburg. "It was a terrible plan that somehow worked." 

Vince is not reminded of Fat Albert since he never watched it. RD asks yours truly to now look for "Brown Hornet escapes", referencing its show within the show and later spinoff where its title character used equally implausible methods to escape.

This also solves the problem of the hiding henchmen (even with Zelda's shouted warning) by dodging them and having them shoot each other, though sadly there is no fight as Batman simply knocks Eivol down with a Batarang. Quote he: "Let's take them to the morgue." He also determines that Zelda's tears are real this time through smelling and licking them, or at least that's what RD might have seen in order to make sense of things. "Perhaps some other lifetime."

Sometime later Bruce meets Zelda at the Gotham State Penitentiary wearing a ridiculous black and white striped prison uniform with a tuna can style hat. (:51) He promises her a job as "Resident Lady Magician" at Wayne Corp after she is released for saving his life after she threatened it. She conjures for him a plastic flower to give to Batman as a trophy.

RD: "Why would anyone live in Gotham City?"

RD wonders what the point of her and her one-off appearance was compared to the rest of the villains, including King Tut. (:57) Even if she was trapped (no pun intended) by Eivol she could have asked one of the other 26 women licensed to be magicians in the city to help her out. Vince wonders if he was doing the same even to them.

Vince: "Let's do some plugs here." (:60)

He complements AEW on broadcasting on Friday nights, and their marketing, which surprises him. RD half-jokingly justifies his current demographic to explain that people may not watch so late and so long due to numerous reasons. He finds their close success after only two years of operation weird. Vince reminds him of the current state of Raw.

RD wrote about something related to Vince. Vince hates reading, despite having written two books. RD can accept his not reading The Death of WCW (yet) due to his personal involvement and chance it may upset him, even though he doesn't regret what he produced and recorded. They also remind of their apolitical natures. Vince wouldn't mind RD to list what he thought his three biggest blunders were so they can discuss them on their next Patreon argument.  

• Special Guest Villain: Zelda The Great (Anne Baxter)

 

• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Escaping an electrified trap by exploding hydrogen gas.
  

 

Episode 9: Holy Hole In A Donut!: September 26, 2021

Zelda the Great
February 9, 1966
"The Dynamic Duo arranges a trap for an elusive annual bank robber, but the female magician they are hunting is on to them with a new scheme of her own."
90 minutes

Even Russo is Greater Than Zelda, according to RD's nameplate.  But is he better than his current Co-Bro, still "ChannelAttitude.com"? He wags his finger at RD disapprovingly.

This is the first lady villain of the show, one of a very small group. (:04) RD wouldn't mind doing an Addams Family progrem after this one. Vince would just go over missed stuff. This is especially the part here where things are quite unmemorable except for the "mind-boggling" last 20 seconds.

A peaceful night in Gotham City is interrupted by an explosion at the Gotham Bank as captured by a Raw cameraman and a guard expressing surprise at his gun that he shot at someone. Vince remarks on his terrible acting. RD: "On this show? Really?" 

This for a $100,000 robbery is apparently an April Fools tradition, which seems more like a Calendar Man thing. I'm surprised he never made an appearance on the show. Gordon: "The Unknown Bandit escaped as clean as a hound's tooth...The League of Banks is becoming uneasy." This sounds like a job for FATCAT! (:12) 

He has to placate his grimacing cops "castigating yourself; you're tip-top officers all of you. Still, two years on this case and you men haven't turned up a SINGLE CLUE! ANY REASON TO THINK YOU'LL DO BETTER NOW???" STIFF, double underlined Vince. O'Hara pleads for help. RD: "Do they ever not need help?"

Thus for the first time, Gordon uses the Batphone while his forces use the Batsignal. It's a good thing as no one is home greatly depressing Gordon. The two are actually on the roof of Stately Wayne Manor stargazing, where Bruce is very poetic on the importance of astronomy. Vince is alarmed that Aunt Harriet keeps wearing the same outfit day in and day out. She is there to see the Batsignal with the naked eye and announce dinner at a strange time of day. They calculate it's at least 10 pm when no one should be banking or eating and Dick should be in bed. He should also technically be a Teen Wonder. They give an excuse of going to a "lecture" on Latin American affairs at 11 pm. Bruce vows to eat some hot pancakes later, which excites Vince for some reason. 

Excited Vince finds it odd that they've mounted a jaguar head in the study. (:22) RD leaves that to Bruce's antics on a shooting hunt. Because as everyone knows, a jaguar killed his parents.

The Duo set off in day-for-night shooting to the rear parking lot of Police HQ obstructing at least five police cars. 

Vince is alarmed by the state of O'Hara's teeth. He conspiracy theories Gordon removed their medical and dental plans due to their incompetence. Once again RD has to remind him they did not expect to be watched in high def 55 years later. 

Their plan is to fabricate a story that the money is counterfeit. O'Hara thinks the criminal is stealing to pay for his taxes. Batman admonishes him into hanging his head in shame. The two compare it to their own children shaming them.

Cut to a poster proclaiming Zelda the Great is "even greater than Houdini" which is hard to prove given that by then he was no longer with them for 40 years and they did know he was sick. Vince calls it "interesting" when it actually isn't to him. 

Analysis of a bullet trajectory in the Batcave determines the bullet went through layers of silk, so they immediately determine it was a woman because no MAN would be wearing silk! Vince wonders if this would rule out Liberace. But it's not a mentioned Catwoman either. Gordon: "A WOMAN? What is this world coming to?" RD wonders on their filming order.

Cut to the Gnome Bookstore where "lurks the secret workshop of a strange Albanian genius" Eivol Ekdol, working with Zelda (the Great). RD remembers seeing Anne Baxter as Nefretiri in The Ten Commandments where she would get 7 or 7.5 Batpoles, but only gets 3.5 here. Vince mishears him and thinks it is affecting his judgment; he gives her 5 for her body offset by his dislike of short hair. RD responds with his Nathaniel as Vince impression. But he is persuaded to upgrade his score to 4.5. 

Instead of ancient Egyptian clothing, Zelda wears a "Hiero-glycerine tear producer" ring and pulls handkerchiefs from her pocket. (:41) The money is to purchase tricks (for $100,000?), with this year's being a escape-proof plastic electrified bullet-proof cage with deadly gas, so they just throw the money away and prepare the cage for Batman instead. RD critiques Batman for his rushed plan. 

Speaking of Batman he prepares a bugged emerald called the Star of Samarkand (or Sam Markand as Vince says it). He critiques RD for jumping ahead too much and gives him boos: "Did you watch this episode???" Zelda's female intuition leads her to add "two strings to her bow" to deal with her suspicions of the trap. The gem is to be held by one Hilary Stonewin in her jewelry store. Sad News: She is the lowest rating on their Batpoling. (:47) The Duo hide in her store's...balcony, as she looks them over. Batman: "This unique garb of ours is one of our weapons of crimefighting!" They do all this planning and quoting as Zelda observes them regardless. Vince mistimes her activities. RD has to correct him with a cut to Stately Wayne Manor. Aunt Harriet answers the phone and is disturbed to hear Dick was hit on the head with a ball: "which playground?" she weirdly asks. Vince is equally disturbed by her not wearing a bra. (:53) Then she gets a visit from "Mrs. Smith, The Playground Matron". "What an idiot," handwrote Vince.

THEN we return to the jeweler. Vince boos RD for missing the Dynamic Jabronis hiding in the balcony for two hours when a lady enters spraying purple gas everywhere. "Does she have COVID?" wonders Vince. The Duo's stunt doubles make a huge jump with a slide-whistle. Zelda gets the gem with the help of her hat mirrors. Robin: "Holy hole in a donut!" Batman: "The tricky little she-devil!" However before they can give chase Gordon calls to tell them a braless Harriet Cooper has been kidnapped for $100,000 ransom within an hour...and Bruce is nowhere to be seen. Robin: "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO POOR AUNT HARRIET - I mean, Mrs. Cooper?" 

Finally we see Zelda sitting and knitting while Aunt Harriet's stunt double is peddling her feet above a roaring flame. (:63) RD compliments the special effects used in shadowing her feet. 

Vince compliments Zelda in outsmarting Batman, at least for this one episode. He wonders where "Admiral Ackbar" gone off to while waiting for his money. He hopes braless Aunt Harriet will be alright. 

RD: "Sometimes the simplest story is the best." (:72)

RD's first WrestleCrap book has an odd UK variant. 

Vince was asked by WWE to appear in some WCW DVD. (:76) He at first turned it down unless he got paid for his time. He recently got a check from World Wrestling Federation. He ponders posting a picture of it without comment to anger people. RD ponders posting a picture of his check from Vince without comment to anger people. Then they discuss Dave Meltzer's star ratings.

• Special Guest Villain: Zelda The Great (Anne Baxter)

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Missing stuff, Aunt Harriet
  
• Vince Time Outs: 1
• Entertain The People: 1
• Outdated references: 1. Harry Houdini