by iggy
January 16, 2009
FaxTrolla
HorseTrolla
Angry Jim
MegaTrolla
Don Mason defiles a man in a wheelchair
#allspark #wasted
132 Sad Boys: January 16, 2009
66 minutes
"the saddest darkest WrestleCrap Radio ever"
Sad News: the passing of beloved actor Ricardo Montalban, of Khan Noonien Singh and Fantasy (Booking) Island (and one uncredited voicing of Claudius in MST3K's Hamlet). RD suggests not listening to this week's depressing episode and is nostalgic for the good old days of the Tee Hee Tickle Party. (:03) On the other hand, he DID once want a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (according to Iggy), so this could all be just another gimmick in an attempt to raise ratings. Next you'll tell me someone's been raped.
Sad News: Blade was at a strip club but Don Mason was not. (:05) RD gets through his sponsors in (monotone) record time as Blade stifles his 'laughter'. In a much more serious and darker note, Blade is not doing good either with his incurred debts and his mother sadly passing away before Christmas, and to alleviate his situation he is auctioning some of his stuff online, which includes some Katie Vick props (which can be found on his inspired eBay user name Hobo Auctions).
RD's TRIP to the Sad News. (:12) RD turned 40 and is probably feeling the first effects of a mid-life crisis, which he found from his celebrations which involved him driving an hour to a Denny's-like restaurant. Sad News: a drunk Don Mason once urinated on a cripple. (More Sad News: Blade was actually standing up for him at the time.)
Obscure Sad News (:23): WWE cut 90% of their staff and 85% of their roster which included Val Venis/Sean Morley, Sgt. Slaughter, D-Lo Brown (RD likens him to Nathaniel), and Ron Simmons. Blade does a bad Butch Reed impression. A WrestleCrap Goth Carnival is mentioned, but sadly nothing is said about kicking a leather-clad white face-painted Vincent in the balls.
Dr. Death Steve Williams is now working for Southwest (:33). Angry Jim Ross calls to discuss it. He also sings Happy Birthday to RD, and is rewarded by being angered off the air when RD calls him out on how he treats his hard working employee.
Question of the Week from the Engineer, the "only happy thing this week" (:40) asks what other career opportunities Mickie James would have if she left WWE. Speaking of Mickie James, the HorseTrolla also has Sad News (:46) - she was in a car accident. Thankfully she's alright.
The MegaTrollaTron 7800 didn't watch TNA again this week, he was also too depressed while looking for the Allspark. Sure enough, more Sad News: "Optimus Prime is a son of a bitch," he reports.
Current News finally has music, (:55) but that's the only good news we get. Sad News: The Duo's favorite pizza-making Diva Victoria is fully retiring from wrestling. The Co-Hosts reminisce of her baby kissing days. Sad News: Cousin Junior has passed away. (:61)
Seventeen Syllables:
Dark day in Mud Lick.
Cousin Junior is now gone.
Tears in my moonshine.
[I wonder though. If this week was so depressing why didn't they just skip recording for this week and pick it up again next week like they did a few times before? Quite odd...]
[Schadenfreude. I think it's the reason I like WrestleCrap in the first place. --iggy]
"the saddest darkest WrestleCrap Radio ever"
 |
| MontalBBBAAANNN!!! |
Sad News: Blade was at a strip club but Don Mason was not. (:05) RD gets through his sponsors in (monotone) record time as Blade stifles his 'laughter'. In a much more serious and darker note, Blade is not doing good either with his incurred debts and his mother sadly passing away before Christmas, and to alleviate his situation he is auctioning some of his stuff online, which includes some Katie Vick props (which can be found on his inspired eBay user name Hobo Auctions).
RD's TRIP to the Sad News. (:12) RD turned 40 and is probably feeling the first effects of a mid-life crisis, which he found from his celebrations which involved him driving an hour to a Denny's-like restaurant. Sad News: a drunk Don Mason once urinated on a cripple. (More Sad News: Blade was actually standing up for him at the time.)
Obscure Sad News (:23): WWE cut 90% of their staff and 85% of their roster which included Val Venis/Sean Morley, Sgt. Slaughter, D-Lo Brown (RD likens him to Nathaniel), and Ron Simmons. Blade does a bad Butch Reed impression. A WrestleCrap Goth Carnival is mentioned, but sadly nothing is said about kicking a leather-clad white face-painted Vincent in the balls.
Dr. Death Steve Williams is now working for Southwest (:33). Angry Jim Ross calls to discuss it. He also sings Happy Birthday to RD, and is rewarded by being angered off the air when RD calls him out on how he treats his hard working employee.
Question of the Week from the Engineer, the "only happy thing this week" (:40) asks what other career opportunities Mickie James would have if she left WWE. Speaking of Mickie James, the HorseTrolla also has Sad News (:46) - she was in a car accident. Thankfully she's alright.
The MegaTrollaTron 7800 didn't watch TNA again this week, he was also too depressed while looking for the Allspark. Sure enough, more Sad News: "Optimus Prime is a son of a bitch," he reports.
Current News finally has music, (:55) but that's the only good news we get. Sad News: The Duo's favorite pizza-making Diva Victoria is fully retiring from wrestling. The Co-Hosts reminisce of her baby kissing days. Sad News: Cousin Junior has passed away. (:61)
Seventeen Syllables:
Dark day in Mud Lick.
Cousin Junior is now gone.
Tears in my moonshine.
[I wonder though. If this week was so depressing why didn't they just skip recording for this week and pick it up again next week like they did a few times before? Quite odd...]
[Schadenfreude. I think it's the reason I like WrestleCrap in the first place. --iggy]
131 No Improvement: January 9, 2009
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| Typical Rasslin' fan, Sugah! |
Because of a friendly bet Farmer Iggy and I made over the Canadiens-Penguins match last month (of which my beloved Habitant won 3-2 thanks to a Andrei "The Giant" Kostitsyn hat-trick), he has to write a article of his own too, and a nice complimentary one at that. (That is the one right below this one.) Knowing our track records with this fine radio progrem and the quality of this week in particular...I pity him, I really do.
[Here's his piece if you're wondering. Again: poor guy.]
RD is busy, much to Blade's chagrin, with some 'recent' report on the wrestling industry headed by Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA: Descended from Canadians? His father was born in Montreal, speak of the non New Jersey Devil Canadiens). RD reads a portion of the testimony in a bad Dixie Carter impression. "Have you seen the 40 Year Old Virgin, Sugar?" (:03)
RD is refocusing himself now on the Radio Progrem, delegating Triple Kelly to take his place writing new inductions for the time being. While I support it dearly I fear that he may call on ME to take Blade's place for his own columns (should he actually update them), a position I fear I'll utterly fail at. (:11) There's also a new hosting site for the WCR episodes slowly being updated. RD does his 70's J. Jonah Jameson impression. He should do it like this man. Blade is sober this week for a change. (:16)
Speaking of Waxman and his Report, RD and Blade were called on for some sort of related hearing by a Quentin "Q-Tip" Arnold, of which RD secretly recorded some of it with a wire in the off-chance of using it (perhaps as blackmail material - against himself). Some time is wasted listening to the funky People's Court theme music which arouses RD. (:17) We learn the show's 12 Listeners are 7 Unibomber-style shack males, 3 shut-ins, 1 deceased and known to be sick, and Robecca DiPietro (who again favorite-d that Car Ad commercial - make up your mind buddy!).
Our show is "full of wrestling news" which we won't actually get to hear about. (:25) The 2009 Gooker voting has begun and the nominations gone over; Vince's Million Dollar Rickrolling Mania, a confusing TNA Love Triangle (including the mystery of So Cal Val's missing nose), Commentator Mike Adamle, "Obama" vs. "Clinton", Braden Walker (RD personally wants him to win so he could have him on the show; remember that they did shows together), The Divas Championship, Santino Mirella vs. Cousin Sal, and the TNA Fish Market Street Fight. Personally I am split between Adamle and the MDM. A search for Maryse's photos is made. RD thinks she is/looks greasy. She looks fine to me.
Obscure Sad News: Lord Littlebrook is ill. The good news is he's not suffering from pneumonia. (:36) Blade once took a leak next to his son at a strip club. Littlebrook's I mean, not his own. (As far as he knows.) Some smack talk of the Colts and Lions is made. (:41) The Iron Sheik is accepting bookings for public functions to humble you old country way while getting heavily drunk. RD thinks he has a curly penis.
More of the Q-Tip hearing. (:44) The crickets failed a drug test. RD killed five people last year.
Question of the Week (:53) once more from Ultimate Kennedy (7) (who also sent the two Christmas gifts, fine man) indirectly brings up the WrestleCrap Carnival. Unfortunately there is no mention of kicking Virgil in the balls.
The new TNA correspondent MegaTrolla marches in with bad sound effects (:59). He cuts to the chase in his first week on the job by not watching TNA at all as he was looking for the Allspark. Still, he's the best TNA correspondent by far. Of course, that's not really saying much.
Some more of the Q-Tip hearing. (:63) Questions of Robecca's fake breasts and phone number make RD suspicious of their questioner. "We cock blocked Mr. Tip!" he defiantly says as if expected to be quoted upon.
Current News consists solely of Vince returning to TV despite having his legs 'crushed' in that aforementioned Million Dollar Mess. (:68) RD wants Don Mason to pee on Vince and thus challenge him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vickie Guerrero nudes were posted and just recently removed on wwe.com.
Seventeen syllables...to put this episode of WrestleCrap Radio to bed:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.
Testify!! for #131
WrestleCrap Radio Recap
Testify!!
75 minutes
Written by Farmer Iggy
It's a new year and WrestleCrap is back!! And I'm back writing a recap because I lost a bet!!
What a great year 2008 was!! I didn't get stabbed even once!!
On with the show!!
RD has been hard at work poring over thousands of pages of a transcript of hearings held by a U.S. Congress committee, chaired by Henry Waxman. Employees of wrestling companies recently testified in the nation's capital about steroids.
This is great news!! Congress is free to use their time concentrating on an issue that nobody cares about, because everything else is hunky-dory!! The economy is on the mend!! Democracy has spread like cancer in Afghanistan and Iraq!! Peace has broken out all over the world!! China and India have decided to curb pollution!! OSAMA IS DEAD!! Iran, North Korea, and Cuba were taken off the shit list!! Stock markets have rebounded world-wide!! AIDS IS SURVIVABLE!! The troops are coming home, this time not in body bags!! Detroit has recovered!! HEATH LEDGER HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE!! Gasoline prices have fallen dramatically!! The sky's the limit for the Oakland A's in 2009!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!! Global warming has been solved!! The housing market has bounced back!! SOME OF THOSE AREN'T FALSE!!
Among those questioned were Dixie Carter and Stephanie McMahon. RD impersonates Dixie as he reads the part in which she links fans of wrestling to fans of The 40 Year Old Virgin (:04). Blade and RD say they would never insult their fans like that (:07). Unfortunately, some people need to be insulted in order to get the hint that they suck. That's where this site rightchere can help!!
Since April, this site has bashed RD and Blade, the providers of free entertainment, week after week. I won't speak for Premier Blah, [I'll still focus myself against the Dynamic Co-Hossing Duo. - PB] but I, Farmer Iggy, for ALL of 2009, will "hate on" the listeners EXCLUSIVELY!! EVEN IN REAL LIFE!! If I have a bad day at work, it will be the listeners' fault!! If I scrape my forearm, I know THE GODDAMN LISTENERS DID IT!! HERE'S TO MENTAL HEALTH IN 2009!!
WrestleCrap Radio's host, Podango.com, died and went to CyberHell at the end of 2008. Just for posterity, here is the old blurb on http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wrestlecrapradio.html for Podango:
And here's the new blurb for LibSyn:
ALRIGHT!!
Blade suggests Tammy Sytch's old site wrestlingvixens.com be an induction (:08). This week's induction is Vinnie Vegas, written by Triple Kelly.
More big news!! Triple Kelly is now the lead writer of WrestleCrap Inductions (:10). Congratulations Triple Kelly!!
Short impersonations are drawn from the late '60s version of Spider-Man (:12). Podango's dead but the sponsorships aren't (:14). The People's Court theme music is porn music (:18). Congressman Waxman's aide, Mr Tibbs, questioned RD and Blade as proved by an clip of the first part, which lasts four minutes (:20).
WrestleCrap kicks off 2009 with its exalted crown (of thorns) -- the Gooker Award!! (:25) You don't even have to register or anything!! Anyone who visits this webpage before January 26 can vote!!
And the nominees are: Mike Adamle, Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania, Santino vs Cousin Sal, Braden Walker in general, the Diva championship title, Hillary vs Barack, TNA Fish Market Fight, and Dutt-Lethal-Val love triangle. All are deserving nominees!! This one will be close!!
Blade wants to fund WrestleCrap Radio One Dollar Mania (:27) but RD opposes. RD talked about Maryse for a minute (:31). Interactive: Maryse's greasy visage (:34). Blade likes legs, ass, abs, and then tits (:35).
Obscure Wrestling News: Sad News: Lord Littlebrook is bedridden (:36), which is fortunate for his family because you don't want a person with Alzheimer's to be mobile. The Detroit Lions stink now and Blade prefers to reminisce about the Lions from back from the Jim Brown era (:40). I could not tell you what decade that was. The Iron Sheik, Bushwacker Luke, and John Cena Sr. can be booked to watch a WWE PPV with you (:43). In exchange for dollars, you can torture three notable men with bad television!!
The second clip lasts eight minutes (:44). It's difficult to make congressional testimony entertaining unless you're Peter Dragon.
Question of the Week: Blade says, "Apparently I am a alcohol monkey" (:53). Ultimate Kennedy gave Chainsaw Charlie and Sparky Plugg dolls to Blade and Tatanka (Buffalo) and Earthquake to RD for Xmas (:56). UK claims Kizarny is awesome (:57), which is completely false. Kizarny will likely be very available for the WrestleCrap Carnival (:58)!! MegaTrolla appeared (:59).
The third and final clip lasts four minutes (:62). Vince McMahon will appear on Raw in a few weeks (:68), as his handlers plan to scare him out of his hole in the ground. Will he see his shadow? Vickie Guerrero's black-boxed nude photos were placed on wwe.com and removed a few days later by popular demand (:72).
Seventeen Syllables About Her:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.
Nice recaps take three times as long to write!!
[I know! I wonder how I will fare should it be my turn next time... - PB] [For the April 11th Pens-Habs game, should we wager that the loser has to watch the entire Jeff Jarrett DVD set? —Iggy] [You shall have it. I'll see if I can try and get it electronically too. —PB]
[This bet was changed because a Jeff Jarrett DVD set is cruel and unusual. —Iggy, April 13, 2009]
Testify!!
75 minutes
Written by Farmer Iggy
It's a new year and WrestleCrap is back!! And I'm back writing a recap because I lost a bet!!
What a great year 2008 was!! I didn't get stabbed even once!!
On with the show!!
RD has been hard at work poring over thousands of pages of a transcript of hearings held by a U.S. Congress committee, chaired by Henry Waxman. Employees of wrestling companies recently testified in the nation's capital about steroids.
This is great news!! Congress is free to use their time concentrating on an issue that nobody cares about, because everything else is hunky-dory!! The economy is on the mend!! Democracy has spread like cancer in Afghanistan and Iraq!! Peace has broken out all over the world!! China and India have decided to curb pollution!! OSAMA IS DEAD!! Iran, North Korea, and Cuba were taken off the shit list!! Stock markets have rebounded world-wide!! AIDS IS SURVIVABLE!! The troops are coming home, this time not in body bags!! Detroit has recovered!! HEATH LEDGER HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE!! Gasoline prices have fallen dramatically!! The sky's the limit for the Oakland A's in 2009!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!! Global warming has been solved!! The housing market has bounced back!! SOME OF THOSE AREN'T FALSE!!
Among those questioned were Dixie Carter and Stephanie McMahon. RD impersonates Dixie as he reads the part in which she links fans of wrestling to fans of The 40 Year Old Virgin (:04). Blade and RD say they would never insult their fans like that (:07). Unfortunately, some people need to be insulted in order to get the hint that they suck. That's where this site rightchere can help!!
Since April, this site has bashed RD and Blade, the providers of free entertainment, week after week. I won't speak for Premier Blah, [I'll still focus myself against the Dynamic Co-Hossing Duo. - PB] but I, Farmer Iggy, for ALL of 2009, will "hate on" the listeners EXCLUSIVELY!! EVEN IN REAL LIFE!! If I have a bad day at work, it will be the listeners' fault!! If I scrape my forearm, I know THE GODDAMN LISTENERS DID IT!! HERE'S TO MENTAL HEALTH IN 2009!!
WrestleCrap Radio's host, Podango.com, died and went to CyberHell at the end of 2008. Just for posterity, here is the old blurb on http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wrestlecrapradio.html for Podango:
The entire WrestleCrap Radio archive is now hosted on our new system, Podango, which will allow all sorts of new features for the show, including direct comments for each episode! We are also looking into new ways to make the show even more craptacular in the future for our 12 listeners. Thanks - and keep on Crappin'!
And if you want WCR as fast as humanly possible, just click on the subscribe feed on the Podango page - you'll get the shows before Podango updates!
And here's the new blurb for LibSyn:
The entire WrestleCrap Radio archive is now hosted on our new system, LibSyn, which will allow all sorts of new features for the show, including direct comments for each episode! We are also looking into new ways to make the show even more craptacular in the future for our 12 listeners. Thanks - and keep on Crappin'!
And if you want WCR as fast as humanly possible, just click on the subscribe feed on the Podango page - you'll get the shows before Podango updates!
ALRIGHT!!
Blade suggests Tammy Sytch's old site wrestlingvixens.com be an induction (:08). This week's induction is Vinnie Vegas, written by Triple Kelly.
More big news!! Triple Kelly is now the lead writer of WrestleCrap Inductions (:10). Congratulations Triple Kelly!!
Short impersonations are drawn from the late '60s version of Spider-Man (:12). Podango's dead but the sponsorships aren't (:14). The People's Court theme music is porn music (:18). Congressman Waxman's aide, Mr Tibbs, questioned RD and Blade as proved by an clip of the first part, which lasts four minutes (:20).
WrestleCrap kicks off 2009 with its exalted crown (of thorns) -- the Gooker Award!! (:25) You don't even have to register or anything!! Anyone who visits this webpage before January 26 can vote!!
And the nominees are: Mike Adamle, Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania, Santino vs Cousin Sal, Braden Walker in general, the Diva championship title, Hillary vs Barack, TNA Fish Market Fight, and Dutt-Lethal-Val love triangle. All are deserving nominees!! This one will be close!!
Blade wants to fund WrestleCrap Radio One Dollar Mania (:27) but RD opposes. RD talked about Maryse for a minute (:31). Interactive: Maryse's greasy visage (:34). Blade likes legs, ass, abs, and then tits (:35).
Obscure Wrestling News: Sad News: Lord Littlebrook is bedridden (:36), which is fortunate for his family because you don't want a person with Alzheimer's to be mobile. The Detroit Lions stink now and Blade prefers to reminisce about the Lions from back from the Jim Brown era (:40). I could not tell you what decade that was. The Iron Sheik, Bushwacker Luke, and John Cena Sr. can be booked to watch a WWE PPV with you (:43). In exchange for dollars, you can torture three notable men with bad television!!
The second clip lasts eight minutes (:44). It's difficult to make congressional testimony entertaining unless you're Peter Dragon.
Question of the Week: Blade says, "Apparently I am a alcohol monkey" (:53). Ultimate Kennedy gave Chainsaw Charlie and Sparky Plugg dolls to Blade and Tatanka (Buffalo) and Earthquake to RD for Xmas (:56). UK claims Kizarny is awesome (:57), which is completely false. Kizarny will likely be very available for the WrestleCrap Carnival (:58)!! MegaTrolla appeared (:59).
The third and final clip lasts four minutes (:62). Vince McMahon will appear on Raw in a few weeks (:68), as his handlers plan to scare him out of his hole in the ground. Will he see his shadow? Vickie Guerrero's black-boxed nude photos were placed on wwe.com and removed a few days later by popular demand (:72).
Seventeen Syllables About Her:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.
Nice recaps take three times as long to write!!
[I know! I wonder how I will fare should it be my turn next time... - PB] [For the April 11th Pens-Habs game, should we wager that the loser has to watch the entire Jeff Jarrett DVD set? —Iggy] [You shall have it. I'll see if I can try and get it electronically too. —PB]
[This bet was changed because a Jeff Jarrett DVD set is cruel and unusual. —Iggy, April 13, 2009]