by iggy
January 15, 2010
Slush Puppy
The characters are social networking.
Itinerary
The New Monday Night War begins.
Bret Hart
#myspace tom #serious business
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 10: "Scenario 1 Randy Orton is a Mickie James fan?"
Scenario 1 Randy Orton is a Mickie James fan?
Written by xFaintHorizon
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken
The match started to get hectic as Mickie James went for a pin on Natalya, Voices started playing and no they weren’t in her head, it was Randy Orton coming out and taking a seat ringside just staring every inch of Mickie as if she was food. Despite the distraction Mickie hit her finisher and pinned Natalya. She was on top of the world and then she remembered she had a special spectator watching, Randy Orton was still there clapping ringside very impressed he seemed. Mickie felt flattered but weird why was he there?
Mickie was just hanging around and suddenly the phone rang... who could it be? she stared at the screen and it said unknown number, she would normally hang up but she was in a good mood so she picked up. To Mickies surprise it was Randy Orton, she asked ‘’where did you get this number?’’, Randy answered ‘’ does it matter ‘’, getting a bit freaked out she hangs up and blocks the number.
Mickie though Randy was kidding around with her.
Soon he started to show up to her lockeroom and to her matches and she tried being nice about him being around but she just couldn’t take this anymore, the last straw was went he brought flowers to her.. she never sent out these signs and realized that Randy had an obsession with her...
She couldn’t argue with him, for she knew he had an anger disorder and she couldn’t take a break now especially when she was so close to getting the women’s championship...
Randy exactly that Mickie was planning to get rid of him, to get a restraining order against him... if he couldn’t be with her anyone could and the rage got to him when he saw her chatting with his rival John Cena
Randy took it upon himself that no one must be with her that she is his and so he went in for the kill, and he knocked out Mickie, soon he realized she was dead...and thought to himself ‘’ what the hell did I do’’, ‘’ there’s only one way we can be together forever’’.
John Cena called Mickies phone and voice mail came on, he went on a desperate search for Mickie and in the end he found her dead as well as Randy dead in Randy Orton locker room.
The tragic end.
Written by xFaintHorizon
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken
The match started to get hectic as Mickie James went for a pin on Natalya, Voices started playing and no they weren’t in her head, it was Randy Orton coming out and taking a seat ringside just staring every inch of Mickie as if she was food. Despite the distraction Mickie hit her finisher and pinned Natalya. She was on top of the world and then she remembered she had a special spectator watching, Randy Orton was still there clapping ringside very impressed he seemed. Mickie felt flattered but weird why was he there?
Mickie was just hanging around and suddenly the phone rang... who could it be? she stared at the screen and it said unknown number, she would normally hang up but she was in a good mood so she picked up. To Mickies surprise it was Randy Orton, she asked ‘’where did you get this number?’’, Randy answered ‘’ does it matter ‘’, getting a bit freaked out she hangs up and blocks the number.
Mickie though Randy was kidding around with her.
Soon he started to show up to her lockeroom and to her matches and she tried being nice about him being around but she just couldn’t take this anymore, the last straw was went he brought flowers to her.. she never sent out these signs and realized that Randy had an obsession with her...
She couldn’t argue with him, for she knew he had an anger disorder and she couldn’t take a break now especially when she was so close to getting the women’s championship...
Randy exactly that Mickie was planning to get rid of him, to get a restraining order against him... if he couldn’t be with her anyone could and the rage got to him when he saw her chatting with his rival John Cena
Randy took it upon himself that no one must be with her that she is his and so he went in for the kill, and he knocked out Mickie, soon he realized she was dead...and thought to himself ‘’ what the hell did I do’’, ‘’ there’s only one way we can be together forever’’.
John Cena called Mickies phone and voice mail came on, he went on a desperate search for Mickie and in the end he found her dead as well as Randy dead in Randy Orton locker room.
The tragic end.
165 I have something to say...Again.: January 15, 2010
70 minutes
His fantasy football team sucked, so RD must recite many listener-submitted insults. He fights back with some weak excuses. But he finally concedes "I'm an idiot."
RD doesn't get 'Diet' meals served at eating establishments. (:14) But he does get KFC's 395 meal. Blade loves their grilled chicken (I always enjoy their chicken sandwiches) He then awkwardly manages to summon Popeye on air so he can make RD flirt with him. (:19) But it feels wrong somehow, and I can't place my finger on it. All I'm saying is if I wanted to go out with myself I probably wouldn't need to have to flirt first, if you know what I'm saying. And if you do you sure have one dirty mind. (But don't we all? ... Don't answer that.)
:22 Roddy Piper's warnings about idiots driving cars are remembered, as his daughter was almost hit by a bus. Nobody was willing to pay 5 grand for Damian Demento's Shoulder pads, even if proceeds were going to help the USO. For some reason the Co-Fruitcakes want to know the "story of how the pads originated" so Blade 'promises' that Sir Alec will have the inside scoop of that in the month. Yeah right, I'll believe it when Isee hear it. The HorseTrolla tells us Mickie James will release a country album around late March. Blade makes RD say 'cunnilingus'.
:37 Inspired by John Cena going on about Punch-Out!! on TV, Blade decides to extend the progrem by another hour with some video game segment. Thus the new arrival of Nintendo John, AKA Angry Jim Ross as Satanic Billy Graham as John Cena. He's borrowed Sir Alec's enthusiastic audience to cheer him on. He says things that are hard to comprehend and then pixels out to join his brothers Sony Jack and Microsoft James. What say you in response, RD?
"I want the Manning Brothers to double penetrate me while sticking a ball gag in my mouth."
Not exactly my finest insult, but I suppose it will have to do.
Today's Question (:43) is from Alexis2K. Apparently the recently deceased Victor Borga was a secret member of the Kobra Kai. RD is forced to apologize for Mike Check which puzzles me. He was probably their best and most fascinating TNA correspondent so far.
Only one limp piece of Current News troubles us. (:49) And it's not RD wanting Bryan Alvarez to do his John Cena impersonation. Randy Orton is in trouble for spitting gum into a young fan's face, which is good a time as any for Sir Alec to narrate a randy Randy story for us all where he goes all stalkerish on Mickie James. RD doesn't want to read any more lines so he tries to hide behind the haiku music, but Blade still makes him read one from the peanut gallery.
Seventeen syllables about good old Hornswoggle:
Hornswoggle is great.
He's a champion on screen.
He's nude in my mind.
Thankfully this is not enough for Blade and the faithful listeners, so for the next seven minutes Blade makes RD read some more demeaning lines and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me."
Blade: "Did I tell you I love this show yet?"
His fantasy football team sucked, so RD must recite many listener-submitted insults. He fights back with some weak excuses. But he finally concedes "I'm an idiot."
RD doesn't get 'Diet' meals served at eating establishments. (:14) But he does get KFC's 395 meal. Blade loves their grilled chicken (I always enjoy their chicken sandwiches) He then awkwardly manages to summon Popeye on air so he can make RD flirt with him. (:19) But it feels wrong somehow, and I can't place my finger on it. All I'm saying is if I wanted to go out with myself I probably wouldn't need to have to flirt first, if you know what I'm saying. And if you do you sure have one dirty mind. (But don't we all? ... Don't answer that.)
:22 Roddy Piper's warnings about idiots driving cars are remembered, as his daughter was almost hit by a bus. Nobody was willing to pay 5 grand for Damian Demento's Shoulder pads, even if proceeds were going to help the USO. For some reason the Co-Fruitcakes want to know the "story of how the pads originated" so Blade 'promises' that Sir Alec will have the inside scoop of that in the month. Yeah right, I'll believe it when I
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| U Can't See Wii. |
"I want the Manning Brothers to double penetrate me while sticking a ball gag in my mouth."
Not exactly my finest insult, but I suppose it will have to do.
Today's Question (:43) is from Alexis2K. Apparently the recently deceased Victor Borga was a secret member of the Kobra Kai. RD is forced to apologize for Mike Check which puzzles me. He was probably their best and most fascinating TNA correspondent so far.
Only one limp piece of Current News troubles us. (:49) And it's not RD wanting Bryan Alvarez to do his John Cena impersonation. Randy Orton is in trouble for spitting gum into a young fan's face, which is good a time as any for Sir Alec to narrate a randy Randy story for us all where he goes all stalkerish on Mickie James. RD doesn't want to read any more lines so he tries to hide behind the haiku music, but Blade still makes him read one from the peanut gallery.
Seventeen syllables about good old Hornswoggle:
Hornswoggle is great.
He's a champion on screen.
He's nude in my mind.
Thankfully this is not enough for Blade and the faithful listeners, so for the next seven minutes Blade makes RD read some more demeaning lines and sing "Pour Some Sugar On Me."
Blade: "Did I tell you I love this show yet?"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 9: "The Favor"
"The Favor"
Written by chaingangprincess1978
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken
Mickie James smiled as she arrived back at her hotel room after the show. Tonight had been fun. The Divas had been involved in a Pyjama Pillow Fight Match and it had turned chaotic when Maryse had taken a cheap shot against Kelly in the ring. But it had all been in fun and everyone had enjoyed themselves in the end. Kelly would already be back at the room. She had left right after the match. Mickie had had to stick around as she had been required to shoot a promo for her match at the upcoming Royal Rumble Pay Per View.
Mickie slipped into the room quietly, and as she was closing the door, she felt Kelly slide her arms around her from behind, and plant soft kisses on the back of her neck.
“Hi baby.” Kelly whispered in her ear.
“Babe.” Mickie replied. Grinning again.
“Guess what?” Kelly whispered.
“You’re horny?” Mickie asked, sounding hopeful.
“Well yes…but something else too…”
“What’s that?”
“I’m ovulating….let’s make a baby.”
“Ummm, one small problem there sweetie.” Mickie said, gently caressing Kelly’s cheek, as she gazed into those gorgeous blue eyes.
“What?”
“We don’t have a donor yet!” Mickie reminded her.
“I thought we agreed on someone.” Kelly said with a small pout.
“Yeah..but don’t you think we should ask him first?” Mickie said with a small smile….that was her Kelly…so cute.
“Ok…pass me my phone.” Kelly said.
“KELLY! I didn’t mean right now!” Mickie said, shaking her head and snickering.
“Why? No time like the present.” Kelly replied, reaching for her cell phone on the bedside table.
Before Mickie could stop her, Kelly had picked up her phone and had dialed the number.
“It’s ringing.” She whispered.
Mickie’s face went pale, as she imagined John on the other end.
“Oh hi John…How are you?...We’re fine…Actually we have a favor we’d like to ask…Could you come up to our room?..five minutes…great….see you then.” Kelly hung up the phone and turned to Mickie with a smile.
“He’s coming up.”
The end.
Written by chaingangprincess1978
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken
Mickie James smiled as she arrived back at her hotel room after the show. Tonight had been fun. The Divas had been involved in a Pyjama Pillow Fight Match and it had turned chaotic when Maryse had taken a cheap shot against Kelly in the ring. But it had all been in fun and everyone had enjoyed themselves in the end. Kelly would already be back at the room. She had left right after the match. Mickie had had to stick around as she had been required to shoot a promo for her match at the upcoming Royal Rumble Pay Per View.
Mickie slipped into the room quietly, and as she was closing the door, she felt Kelly slide her arms around her from behind, and plant soft kisses on the back of her neck.
“Hi baby.” Kelly whispered in her ear.
“Babe.” Mickie replied. Grinning again.
“Guess what?” Kelly whispered.
“You’re horny?” Mickie asked, sounding hopeful.
“Well yes…but something else too…”
“What’s that?”
“I’m ovulating….let’s make a baby.”
“Ummm, one small problem there sweetie.” Mickie said, gently caressing Kelly’s cheek, as she gazed into those gorgeous blue eyes.
“What?”
“We don’t have a donor yet!” Mickie reminded her.
“I thought we agreed on someone.” Kelly said with a small pout.
“Yeah..but don’t you think we should ask him first?” Mickie said with a small smile….that was her Kelly…so cute.
“Ok…pass me my phone.” Kelly said.
“KELLY! I didn’t mean right now!” Mickie said, shaking her head and snickering.
“Why? No time like the present.” Kelly replied, reaching for her cell phone on the bedside table.
Before Mickie could stop her, Kelly had picked up her phone and had dialed the number.
“It’s ringing.” She whispered.
Mickie’s face went pale, as she imagined John on the other end.
“Oh hi John…How are you?...We’re fine…Actually we have a favor we’d like to ask…Could you come up to our room?..five minutes…great….see you then.” Kelly hung up the phone and turned to Mickie with a smile.
“He’s coming up.”
The end.
164 Blade's Gone Wild: January 8, 2010
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| TNA: We Are Limpin', Sugah! |
Dedicated to the memory of Paul Servo, a great fellow Crapper, Honorary WCR Historian, Co-Host Contestant and one of the Original 12, who sadly passed away on the 3rd of January. Our condolences and thoughts for his friends and family.
It's a new decade for WrestleCrap Radio, seeing as how they fell off a cliff for them at the end of the previous year, (much like the Canadiens and Lions). Blade wants to talk about wrestling all show for a change. So they talk about...slurpies. But they are wrestling slurpies!
Impact has gone head to head against RAW for the first time (:08) and the Co-Hosses mark out on naked Val Venus and Orlando Jordan in Impact. Popeye calls. You know the drill - pun literally intended. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. WrestleCrap will be 10 years old this April, but RD would like to forget his newsletters. (:14) Perhaps they'll reappear on his next Archive Disc?
:17 Further talking about wrestling (Yes, really). Blade finds something on his script which predicts Popeye's calling in, and the fact that RD finally lost a bet due to his own fault and own confusion over Blade's rules and now has to read whatever people send to him. Send your requests to blade@wrestlecrap.com if it hasn't been featured here yet. RD got some gift glass bottles from his brother for Christmas (I too always prefer glass over plastic). Blade has some own glass bottles in his collection.
:26 Blade is trying to stay sober for the first time in a while. Tammy Sytch with nothing else better to do calls out the Bella Twins for being in the same glass house as she is, or something. RD reads what she has to say in his Dixie Carter impression. Blade fantasizes about Ashley Massaro. He also has some grudge against cutlery and wants to fuck people while cooking food on them. Maybe that's why he keeps calling the Big Nippled Vampire's breasts big and round as a dinner plate. I know there is a term for that fetish, but it escapes me at the moment.
Blade is trying to look and act like a hobo caveman (more so than usual) in an attempt to escape jury duty.
Moe from Men on a Mission (:34) reminds Blade of the Robonic Stooges in a bad recreation of a Dumas novel, itself part of some Skatebirds show which includes a monkey for some reason. Sadly he's not BJ's Bear. The actual Moe is considering leaving the wrestling biz for MMA. One word: Horrible.
Blade wants to know how the BabyTrolla works, which reports that Candice Michelle is having a baby girl due to the actions of her husband. The HorseTrolla reveals Mickie James was in another car accident where she was rear ended. A word of warning: whatever you do, please do not look up 'dragoning'. You'll regret it. There's more fallout from her moving to Smackdown. Blade may finally get his chance, but he's still stuck on Lita.
Sir Alec 'visits' yet again. (:53) This time, Mickie James (speaking of her) finds love with Kelly Kelly but needs John Cena to simplify things.
The WCR Gong has the week's Question. (:60) Could a Jonas Brother appear in a revival of 3 Count? RD finds their theme song. Blade wonders on Britney Spear's fallopian tubes.
:64 Voting has begun for the 2009 Gooker. This year: Hornswaggle vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell, Vince's random hatred against the Denver Nuggets, the Abraham Washington Show, Santina Marella as Miss Wrestlemania, TNA's 'portrayal' of Sarah Pallin, and some really bad RAW guest hosting.
Impact and RAW may go head to head on a weekly basis. Oh good, looks like WCW is back. RD compares the radio progrem to mid-90s Scott Hall. The duo pine for those good old days, but would they want Bret Hart to return to the ring? And could he do anything with their wacky nicknames? The two are unsure, so they instead turn to Hulk Hogan.
Seventeen Syllables on the return of Hulk Hogan to TNA:
Hulk's back in wrestling.
Dixie's new tagline? T-N-
A: We Are Limping.