286 SmackDrunk: September 30, 2019

A.E.W. Punk?

66 minutes

You can already tell Blade is drunk (All Inebriated WrestleCrap?) since he is confused by military terminology. He praises the WrestleCrap Girdlers at The Big Girdle.

RD: "Is every show we ever do like some kind of, you know, event? Some kind of milestone?"

...

RD: "It's been almost 20 years since you actually wrote anything on the site."

Drunk Blade wants a Male-Male-Male threesome.

RD compliments the very site you are reading. "They are fantastic people, they do fantastic work." (:12) Acting oppositely from his co-host, Drunk Blade had to deter a co-worker from becoming a 13th Listener.

RD offers Drunk Blade cinnamon apple straws, a variation of veggie straws. He likes them and its malic acid, the term that Blade would want as another indie wrestler persona (although it would fit better as a finisher in my opinion). (:15)

RD reminds people he once managed Mark Henry when he fought The Big Show, who is getting a Netflix comedy series (which is probably not this one). [Aaaaaand it's gone. Did WWE Films have a hand in it? - Erik Majorwitz] RD thinks he could play a neighbor teacher. Drunk Blade: "You could have thrown away a WWE career." (:21) Blade now has to avoid people due to his WC work, or something. His phone responds by avoiding him temporarily.

C.M. Punk is getting some sort of tryout on some show or other which might see his return to WWE. B.M. Punk disapproves. RD gives him one (log) line. (:32) Recovering Mickie James may do commentary on Main Event. Drunk Blade remains confused drunk.

Who else would they want to see return to commentate? (:35) RD wants Ernie Lad, Howard Finkel, and yelling Brian Knobbs. Drunk Blade can't count, but he wants (Satanic) Superstar Billy Graham, Susan St. James, the Black Scorpion (where would he have space for his magic tricks?), and Demolition Axe.

This week, RD reads the "You Asked Us!" column in The Wrestler Magazine June 1989 (:44). "Mat Reporter" Lori Long of Edmonton writes to the "British Bulldogs" to inquire about Matilda's condition. Drunk Blade thinks the tag team nursed her. I'm just glad none of his exes had a pet dog for him to try this out personally.

Paul O'Parka of Facebook (2) asks about reviving cereals. (:49) RD wants the return of Vanilla Captain Crunch which lasted three months in the 70s. Blade remembers Strawberry Shortcake (not Crunch?) cereal, but he wants ET cereal since they tasted like a woman or something. One wonders where he ate that cereal from.

WWE will have pyrotechnics again. Drunk Blade thinks they once killed someone, but sadly does not add that information onto a Wikipedia page. (:54)

Televised wrestling will be literally weekly, even before including indies and PPVs and whatever Impact is currently doing. Blade fears for his partner's health in following it all, rather than just reading summaries of them online like just about everyone else except him (all that daytime work while sober probably prevents him from being online too much, understandably).

Blade still uses a VCR to record wrestling in 2019?

Seventeen Syllables:
Way too much wrestling.
All of these shows. Gentlemen,
Start your VCRs.



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 1. Girdlegauze.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Obscure things such as this, indy workers, my in ring career
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. B.M. Punk, Bill Apter
  

 

• Blade Time Outs:  9 (1 Wait a Second, 3 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs:  2 (1 Wait a Minute, 1 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  4
• Cricket Chirps: 6 
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Paul O'Parka (2)
• What cereal would you bring back from the dead? RD: Vanilla Captain Crunch. Blade: ET Cereal.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Top 3 commentators.
  • RD: Brian Knobbs, Howard Finkel, "Big Cat" Ernie Ladd (non sequential)
  • Blade: Demoliton Ax, Black Scorpion, Susan St. James (replaces “Superstar” Billy Graham) [He uttered brother XX times at Summerslam 1988.]

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: T120 can hold all that wrestling?
  Way too much wrestling.
  All of these shows. Gentlemen,
  Start your VCRs.
  

285 By The Numbers: September 1, 2019

No comment.

70 minutes

The Anniversary is observed two weeks late because the two wanted to "discuss" AEW All Out. RD teases things. Speaking of teasers, Mickie James turned 40. (:04) The two use the opportunity to ramble in reminiscence.

RD claims they had the proto-podcast, ideally run by wrestling ring veterans repeating the same jokes over and over. (:12) Once they can get the "hilarity" out of the way, he tries some Southern Recipe Cheesy Halapeno Flavored Curls (not to be confused with Herr's own) which taste similar to Cheetos. Blade is recording in his truck with the window down parked by a Target. Let's hope he doesn't fall out of it if he has to pee.

The Co-Fruitcakes were unable to attend Starrcast III due to their conflicting schedules. (:24) Blade was one of the background staff in an upcoming Netflix revival of Unsolved Mysteries. RD is a Ninja Mime. C.M. Punk who did attend did neither, but he wishes to be in a Spider-Man movie instead. B.M. Punk disagrees naturally. He doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to poop, he'll have you know! (:29)

Today's Apter Mag Delight (:32) is Pro Wrestling Illustrated Weekly from exactly May 6, 1991 and has Ric Flair "concerned" with El Gigante without any sense of irony. Blade wanted to go to Washington D.C. to see Baby Doll in person.

RD again went to Facebook for his Question. (:39) Mike Still asks who's Becky. Or, as he wrote it: "WHOSE BECKY?!?!?" Blade and his ex have made amends and can now laugh over such things which he feels obligated to explain in case there are new listeners or something equally uncommon.

Blade reminds RD that he used to work shows with Ken Patera's daughter. RD initially wants her and her old man booked to do swinging full nelsons at their Carnival before learning that he's 76 years young (and still hungry). (:42) Cracker Barrel's All Out with its VG Young Bucks was alright. Jim calls to congratulate himself for appearing on so many radio progrems and ask for his cut and a hot tag from Robert Gibson for some reason. (:50) He also gets his numbers wrong while preparing his Halloween turkeys. And I'll bet he doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to do so either! He also randomly got arrested while trying to buy fireworks and had to get Bob Caudle to bail him out since Hollywood John Tatum went to the circus or something. "Go fluff yourself!" he mumbles.

What are the two's favorite Mickie James moments? (:58) RD remembered her acting with Jennie Jones, her Christmas ornament, and her censored WM feud with Trish Stratus. Blade remembered her first appearance, attending a team battle in 2007 where she noticed his shirt, as well as that same Trish feud.

Seventeen Syllables:
We're fourteen years old.
Almost driver's license time.
Driving off the cliff.



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 14th Anniversary
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
• URLs not taken: 0
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Things you want to check out and  that have had a streak as well
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. B.M. Punk, Bill Apter, Jim
  

 

• Blade Time Outs:  9 (1 Wait a Second, 2 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs:  4 (3 Real Quick)
  
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• Cricket Chirps: 6 
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Blade Burps: 1 (RD totally no sold it, but that one WCR listener...)
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Mike Still
  
• WHOSE BECKY?!?!? Blade: Timeless.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 favorite Mickie James memories.
  • RD: Her match vs Trish at Wrestlemania, selling unique items, on the Jenny Jones show.
  • Blade: Trish feud, Mickie and Blade’s fleeting moment, her WWE debut appearance.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: We can’t drive...55!!!
  We're fourteen years old.
  Almost driver's license time.
  Driving off the cliff.
  

WCR Video: Playlist: Wrestlecrap Live 2019

At Starrcast II (May 2019): RD Reynolds, Blade Braxton, and Jordan Mishkin of WrestleCrap.com were joined at The Wrestlecrap Live Panel in Las Vegas, by Bill Apter, The Blue Meanie, Maffew Gregg of Botchamania, and Brian Zane of Wrestling with Wregret for an all-star riff of the 1987 Slammy Awards! Also on the playlist, they discuss The Apter Mags, The Black Scorpion, Abe "Knuckleball" Schwarz, Eugene, WWE's Greater Power angle, and the Blonde Bytch Project, etc!

Note: More clips possibly to be added to the embedded video playlist below, so stay tuned to this space!



(Videos by WrestlecrapRD)

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

Episode 45: Testing Ground: August 18, 2019

35 minutes
((( recorded in new audio setup fidelity )))

RD is using the opportunity to test something out, in this case a new audio setup. He lucks into playing the right audio file at least. (:02) Blade was talking to a guy who called it Patron. RD thinks of dessert since he was at an Italian restaurant earlier having some infamous spaghetti of theirs.

Blade is inspired to plug in something to his phone to try things out on the behalf of their 'households' each with 12 listeners in them. Thankfully it works, so he can remain "high-def hungover" in his 'professionalism'. RD: "It sounds exactly the same as the old one." Further sound recording discussion follows. Blade tests the soundbites in response.

Naturally this leads into talking about pop music. (:11)

• Blade and Don almost saw Tiffany and Debbie Gibson recently as part of an 80s-based concert but didn't want to deal with senior rowdy housewives for the boy bands. RD thinks they would make good potential dates for the single 44 year old. At least he can see the two in some random Sci-Fi monster movie. 
• RD prefers the later "country girl" Brittney more for her antics than her singing, of which Blade agrees. 
• They also like Mariah and her own non-country girl diva gimmick. 
• Blade thought Shoeless Joe Jackson once judged American Idol. 
• RD has a live remote. 
• RD still likes Stacey Q who had an appearance in Return of the Living Dead instead of a Wikipedia picture.
• Blade brings up Goodbye to You by Scandal. RD watches it on Blade's behalf to find Paul Orndorff on guitar and Kerry Von Erich on keyboard standing around in an AWA-pink room. (:30)

 Throughout all this, the two beg for suggestions from the paying audience.

Blade has to go "do something". Let's hope it doesn't involve a trash bag.

284 Pickle-Down Economics: July 24, 2019

All answers point to: YES.

103 minutes

Blade has some unorthodox spelling habits. He also wants to do more than one show a month. RD: "Let me know how that goes."

Blade tries to stake his claim to having the first podcast by wrestling ring veterans. RD disputes this, and his long way round to do things short. Blade is drowsy drunk due to his injured arm from being said wrestling ring veteran.

RD: "You know, when people think: 'who is a veteran of the wrestling scene?' They think the Real Deal RD Reynolds."

RD finds it remarkable the number of people they want to guest invite that they don't follow through on. This included Diamond Dallas Page during their MySpace heyday before his Yoga took off. Drunk Blade: "If you can't self-deprecate yourself what can you do by yourself?" (:16)

One of RD's colleagues at Rupert's Arcade asked him (and by extension myself) what episode of the radio progrem to first listen to. This is a bit of a problem due to how serialized the show is. It may not be traditionally serialized like Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul where almost all the episodes constitute the whole of the one series long story, but there is a depth of in-jokes, segments, and characters that may be confusing for an unprepared first timer without any understanding, explanation, or a glossary. And that's just this website. For this reason I would have chosen the closest thing this has to a clip show, even if a long one, to characteristically overview the way things go and what to expect (or not).

Of course, Drunk Blade mishears RD and wants his colleague to listen to other (younger) shows instead. He blames himself for everything before rambling some more. Hey, there's some of that self-deprecation he was just talking about! What a surprise.

RD makes up for missing the Fourth of July by trying out some Red, White & Blue Crunch. He approves. (:21) [How many Cap N Crunch varieties?  Glad you asked.  33. - Erik Majorwitz]

Blade attempts to be "serious". Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes are already available as special editions in July. Drunk Blade alerts RD in to a Long John Silvers July Fishmas campaign while his painkillers trigger, or so he says. He is too out of it to get Sir Alec to appear, so LJS indirectly promotional considerations instead.

Continuing his state, Drunk Blade misplaced his sources and has to direct RD to Facebook on his behalf. (:35) Gorgeous George also has an injured arm, but this is due to falling out of her truck in an attempt to pee. The Co-Fruitcakes then beg for donations. For themselves, not for her. Drunk Blade makes a bad joke. Even worse, it's the wrong bad joke.

Speaking of Obscure Wrestling News, CM Punk will be at Starrcast III in hometown Chicago, perhaps even joining the WC panel. (:42) The two put over AJ Lee spooning with Daniel Bryan.

This summons Mike Check, who knows a thing or two about spooning. (:45) Blade still has a spare bumper sticker of his.

Mike Check: "You know Brad, that's just fascinating. Can you drive people away from their radio any faster than that?"
...
Drunk Blade: "If people gave out licenses for the ability to drive people away from radio shows, yours would have been revoked ten years ago."
Mike Check: "It would be revoked because I would not be driving people away from their radio, you are correct."

Anyway, Mike was once at WLAF "The Big Chuckle" in Moline, Illinois, and did the morning drive as Ned Nursenky. When Dr. Demento joined him (somehow finding a quick and easy way to commute between California and Illinois), they became Heading Home with Dr. and the Nurse.

He leaves them with Dave Edmunds singing about a high school reunion. This gets them talking about old games for some reason. Blade thinks they could stream some old video game playing.Well, you could do that at Rupert's Arcade, no? With the added benefit of promotional consideration of the place and all that. Definitely a license to print money if ever there was one (more).

Today's Apter Mag Delight, as it is now called (:56) is from Sports Review Wrestling, January 1990 (released October 1989) and is about "The Fattest Wrestlers Of Our Generation". Wow, Bleacher Report style substance-less lists? Who knew they would be ahead of their time by over 15 years?

The Flamingo Kid Questions: What is the one original but defunct theme you want WWE to return? (:67) Blade wants Shane Douglas' Deep Purple theme. RD wants the Midnight Express.

Speaking of themes, RD wants Ken Patera on to ask him about his swinging full nelson. (:70) Eric Bischoff is going to help head Smackdown. RD wants him to host a show back in the Mall of America. He then has to repeat his story of he and his son meeting Ray Park since Blade is...you know.

Speaking of being inebriated in order to watch something, who would the two have wanted to see but didn't at that pretty bad Raw reunion show the other day? (:82) RD wanted the Goobledy Gooker, Ken Patera, and King Haku with crown as illustrated. Blade would want injured Mickie James in a wheelchair, Black Scorpion, and his usual Demolition. Sad News: Blade had to make his own Demolition Smash figure when he was younger. Sadder News: Ted DiBiase's current championship status is confusing. Saddest News: Torrie Wilson still hasn't won anything. Omega News: Steve Austin alluded to doing illegal things with Gerald Brisco while on tour.

This Is All. The Wrestling. News. You. Need. To Know. This Week. Mr. Braxton:
Kelly Kelly: champ.
Deever and Anonymous
Brooke deserve a reign.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, Rupert’s Kids Arcade, Long John Silvers
• URLs not taken: 0
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Hurting arms
  
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Blade's Poor Performance Excuse: Sore from getting thrown out of a Battle Royal. 
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Bill Apter

 

• Blade Time Outs:  13 (1 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs:  1
• Blade Burps: 4
  
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
• Cricket Chirps: 3
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WLAF The Big Chuckle (Moline, IL)
• Radio Call Sign:  Ned Nursinki
• Co-Host: Dr. Demento
  
• Show:  Headin’ Home with Doctor and the Nurse
• Song:  "High School Nights" by Dave Edmonds

 

 

• Question of the Week from: The Flamingo Kid
  
• I really hate when WWE changes out music on the WWE Network, what is the one song you wish they would pay to get back on there? RD: Midnight Express. Blade: Shane Douglas' Deep Purple.
  

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count:  What 3 wrestlers would you have liked to have seen at the Raw Reunion, that were in fact, not there?
  • RD: Goobledy Gooker, Ken Patera, King Haku.
  • Blade: Demolition Smash, Black Scorpion, Mickie James in a motorized wheelchair.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade recaps Raw Reunion:
  
  • Kelly Kelly: champ.
    Deever and Anonymous
    Brooke deserve a reign.

"I believe that professional wrestling podcasting is another sad, bizarre chapter in our human history whose last pages even now are being written."

- Ronald Reagan, 40th President of the United States, Wrestlecrap inductee