Episode 20: Holy Split!: December 19, 2021

Better Luck Next Time
March 17, 1966
"Batman evades the attacking tiger thanks to his utility belt. First, he scales the wall. Then, he uses a sonic device "to split the tiger's skull," as narrator William Dozier informs us. The hero still has to free Robin, who is facing a separate death trap. Once that task is completed, the Dynamic Duo are back on Catwoman's trail. It turns out the feline villain is after the lost treasure of Captain Manx, which is in a remote spot outside of Gotham City."
64 minutes

"RD is Not Middle Aged Robin" on The Batman's Mustache. He's wearing his Santa hat including fake hair. He actually beat a few kids at the Arcade. He advises Vince not to get The Simpsons arcade machine due to poor emulation. 

The recapping Narrator is more involved this time, even if he has a random "open sesame": "IS THIS TRIP NECESSARY?" (:05) Vince is baffled by their use of stunt doubles just to walk into room. RD shows "Batman" played by the on-set tiger wrangler having a beard and belly and sweat stains.

Catwoman is wearing rather baggy clothing making RD wonder if she "filled" them. Young RD once went to the Smithsonian where this particular outfit is displayed. Vince: "Interesting." "Batman" has great fun playing with Tinkerbell the tiger like a pet dog. Then he climbs the bare concrete/dry wall with a visible wired harness Batclaws. Catwoman: "TTFN!" Batman has no idea what she means. Vince kept writing that in his work. 

Batman then gets out his Batearplugs that fit over the cowl to technobabble his Batcommunicator to 20,000 decibels to "split the tiger's skull", despite telling Catwoman that "pets are our responsibility". Thankfully the tiger instead decides to take a nap. 

Batman then goes down into the Catacombs using very bright Batstickers as breadcrumbs. Catwoman has drugged Robin with yet more powder. All of a sudden she has a third henchman without a name (Fire Emblem or otherwise) take him down into their real life Mouse Trap game board over another tiger pit. Narrator: "What now Caped Crusader? Is it a cul-de-sac?" (:25) Robin is listed as weighing 132 pounds and 10 ounces, which I think is 10 kilograms. "Catwoman, you are NOT a nice person!" She responds by leaving without bothering to wait around. Robin waits for Batman to swinging through a very small window before they jump off to safety and their stunt doubles fighting for them, featuring comb-over senior-aged Robin. The goons respond by lighting the room on fire. Felix escapes leaving Leo and Henchman to be arrested.

At the Batcave calling police HQ Gordon asks Batman to do his job for him while Robin acts as intermediary. Gordon staring at the camera: "Good luck to all of us!" Discovering the statues are not identical Batman goes to the Bat Research Shelf with his four volumes on the history of Gotham City. He knows Captain Manx willed his loot to the City except for "one gold doubloon". He finds the statues contain a map leading to his treasure. They then radioactive track her after throwing the statues into the "lead shielded compartment" (i.e. trunk) of the Batmobile.

Catwoman has already found the loot with Felix in a non-Batcave. "From now on: pussy willows galore." The Batmobile drives through mines that blow out the tires that require turning on the Automatic Tire Repair Device to reinflate. They then see footprints. "Only one man has feet that big!" 

Catwoman drugs Felix before taking off, the Duo chasing her and her stunt double. She has trouble climbing up a wall with one hand carrying the treasure and the other without any claws of her own. Not listening to Batman offering help she falls into a "bottomless pit" as Robin calls out to her. Vince is reminded of Shane. RD is reminded of Indiana Jones trying to save Elsa with the Holy Grail. They only find a cat, emblematic of a cat's nine lives. 

Back at Stately Wayne Manor they return to their 4D 3D chess. RD is the one to notice braless Aunt Harriet complaining about a cat stealing their lobster dinner. She hands it to Bruce who hands it to Alfred who hands it to Robin to vanish into the aether. 

RD found Julie Newmar couldn't appear in the movie because she was filming a movie of her own that was never finished. She couldn't appear in Season 3 due to "scheduling" in a Western, but that is suspect since it also starred Burgess Meredith. 

RD has Blade Vince open up his presents. (:52) One is Cincinnati Recipe chili mix. Another is a Newmar as Catwoman framed photo signed to Vince. 

RD has to explain Cody Rhodes almost using a different tunnel to Vince. (:61) Vince gives him boos for not getting a joke.

 

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman (Julie Newmar)

• Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Some setup, things worse than 3D chess
  

 

Round Five - A Christmas Carol: December 16, 2021

52 minutes

"Santa Deal is Coming to Town". He uses the excuse to play the old dogs barking Jingle Bells. "DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!" Vince played it constantly as a kid. He gives RD applause for the same. Their wives don't celebrate Christmas as much as they do. The men also have the lights on only at night. Vince gives more applause. 

As is the season, the two will debate Christmas songs. 

• Young RD was captivated by the Time-Life Treasury of Christmas ads until he remembered he could buy it at 24. (:09)
• Vince cannot get enough of Faith Hill's Where Are You Christmas despite being from The Grinch. RD reminds Vince of the movie's awfulness. 
• Christmas Mariah Carey makes RD think of his wife. Vince gives him applause. His second would be White Christmas. He has yet to find a good version to his liking of What Child Is This. Vince doesn't like it in general.
  
• He believes his Patreons would know Danny Kaye from Christmas Vacation. 
• He shows Vince his older brother in a Griswold sweater putting up his decorations. Vince doubts its veracity at first. (:19)
• Vince's second is John Lennon's War Is Over. He remembers when it was sung on SNL with Sean Lennon on guitar.
  
• He pulls up a Christmas sketch from 2000 SNL for RD to stare too close to the screen at. (:25)
• As for hated songs, RD's is Santa Baby. Vince pulls up Eartha Kitt's cover to try and change his mind. RD responds with Cyndi Lauper and Rosie. Vince: "Catchy tune, man."
• Young RD would also trick his stepmother by looping The Night Before Christmas.
• Vince only loves Baby It's Cold Outside if sung by Dean Martin. RD doesn't mind it by Sammy Davis Jr and Carmen McRae. (:34) One version had two children singing it which appalled him. 
• RD has Vince search for Jillian Hall which he does without spaces.
• Vince loves Christmas in Colorado in song and living form. 
• If he only had one LP RD would stick with Bing Crosby. Vince would be John Lennon (without the Muppets). 
• Mrs. Deal likes Elton John's Step Into Christmas like Vince. (:43) He has difficulty pulling it up for some reason.
• RD wants to know what a Hard Candy Christmas is. Vince doesn't know either. 

Vince had a tough time getting all the family together in the one place. RD believes with hope that his son will never leave the house.  Last year they had the Christmas congregation outside in the cold. "My brother lives on a farm, I don't."

Episode 19: Holy Reshevsky!: December 12, 2021

The Purr-fect Crime
March 16, 1966
"Catwoman initiates a series of thefts that cause Commissioner Gordon to summon Batman and Robin. But the importance of the crimes go beyond the taking of the objects involved. The Dynamic Duo eventually find Catwoman's lair. But Robin is whisked away while Batman is given a choice between two doors. If he picks the right door, he'll find Catwoman. If he picks the wrong one, he'll face certain doom. The hero makes the wrong selection and is about to be attacked by a tiger."
74 minutes

"RD: Smitten with the Kitten". He warned his wife he was going to discuss "the one and only" Catwoman. Vince wonders about his "devious" look. RD is going to make him wait on talking about the different actors despite their not wanting them changed in the first place. Mrs. Deal wanted them to Batpole rate the men. RD asked her to rate whoever will appear next. 

At midnight at "Museum" (for Gotham City Art) (:10), a guard is assaulted by a house cat and a clawed hand makes a circular hole in glass to steal a golden cat statue. 

Cycle to Police HQ where Gordon and O'Hara are confused by the theft. Bonnie, Gordon's secretary, gets -2 then -3 Batpoles from Vince because she shares screen time with Catwoman. RD gives her a more normal 6: "I don't even know what to say to that." She gives Gordon a gift kitten from the "oddest looking man" because..."I don't know." Gordon is immediately enamored by it. There's also a newspaper clipping of "multi-millionaire" Mark Andrews who had been robbed of the statue. RD wonders if he is richer than Bruce. Gordon: "I smell the tracks of a feline predator!"

Cycle to Stately Wayne Manor where Bruce is beating Dick at 4-D chess. "It's quite rudimentary, Dick. You just have to think 14 moves ahead, that's all!" Dick: "Holy Reshevsky! I think I'll stick to my Latin crossword puzzles!" Alfred loudly declares "PHONE SIR!" "NO BRA THIS WEEK." Vince handwrote about Aunt Harriet. RD wonders why she can't hear the Batphone. 

The Duo then come to Police HQ. Batman: "I am sure this is just the first stitch in a large tapestry of crime!" He summons Mark by asking about him where he says a second statue is at another exhibition for insurance. Vince reveals that for a time following common corporate and political practice, the McMahons would never travel together. O'Hara offers Batman backup policemen for some reason. Batman: "I don't want to cast any aspersions on the police department, but I think this time it's better Robin and I go it alone. Any large contingent of police officers might create unnecessary confusion." RD: "In other words, you guys suck." 

As they prepare to leave, Batman notices Robin has not buckled his "safety Batbelt". "It won't be long until you're old enough to get a drivers license, Robin. Then you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other vehicles. Remember: motorist safety." RD wonders if he will want to drive anything else besides the Batmobile. He had to install seatbelts on his first car. 16 year old Vince once hit a parked car while changing his 8-track and told his parents he hit ice. 

A blue van is seen in front of the Gato & Chat Fur Company where slowly revealed Catwoman resides with her complaining henchmen Leo and Felix. (:29) Julie Newmar breaks RD's Batpole completely (ahem) like Charro by getting 28 then 38 then 48 then 58 then 69. Vince gives her a more reasonable 10. She reads a book on "the lost treasures of Captain Manx" in the "dark years" of Gotham City before it became...a criminal hotbed.

In the Batcave a distraught looking Batman tells Alfred he's found out it was the Catwoman behind the theft. Alfred: "Will she ever learn?" They have to refuel the Batmobile by sticking a tube into the exhaust while Batman puts gloves on top of his gloves to make a radioactive tracking spray for the Bat-o-meter. RD prefers that to the same old boring bugs. 

At the Exhibition the Duo go to buy tickets where they encounter Leo disguised as a scalper. He calls his boss on a Catphone to inform her. Standing guard, Batman goes on patrol for "three minutes and 20 seconds", allowing Catwoman to cat attack Robin so she can steal the statue. Robin: "Holy cats, a cat!" Batman: "You feline devil! What have you done with Robin?" Vince wonders the villains wear masks when they are already wearing their costumes. Cue an awful fight with the goons while she waits in a corner.

They escape, making sure the Duo can follow them. Catwoman: "You can brush my pussy willows before you leave. And don't go against the fur." Vince: "Goldust didn't even talk like that!" 

The Batmobile is parked so that Robin can walk all over it annoying RD to no end. (:50) 
Robin: "Gato & Chat Fur Company. Gato means cat in Spanish and chat means cat in French! Only the Catwoman would choose a hideout with those names."
Batman: "I'm glad you're up on your foreign languages, Robin, they come in handy when fighting crime."
Robin: "Si, si, Batman. What do we do now?"
They shoot at the door with a Batbeam blowing up the handle.
Robin: "We might have been killed!"
Batman: "Or worse."
Vince thinks they mean motorboating Aunt Harriet. RD makes a big show of protest.

The Duo are trapped in the catacombs (not by Aunt Harriet). Vince doesn't like her laugh. The walls start closing in trash compactor style. Batman tells Robin to "hit the deck" while he tries to keep the walls apart before he notices the spikes are fake. Then a bomb explodes into a flag. Then she decides to "separate Damon from Pythias" by dropping a glass tube on Robin. Batman has to choose one of two doors, which contains a tiger. RD does his Popeye impression, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

Vince got a mysterious package from RD that he won't open until the time is right. (:65)

RD is alarmed he forgot Jim Herd's name.

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman (Julie Newmar)

• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Up to no good, ratings and such, interesting vehicles, forewords
• Blue Van: 1
• Outdated references: 1. Damon & Pythias

Episode 18: Holy Rat Race!: December 5, 2021

Holy Rat Race (that's the actual episode title)
March 10, 1966
"Alfred contacts Batman by radio from the Batcave. Batman instructs the butler to short circuit a communications device the hero has on his wrist. This enable Batman to get free of his bonds. He and Robin get free just before they would be run over by a subway train. The Dynamic Duo resume their pursuit of False Face, which ends up at an old movie studio."
71 minutes

"RD: Live from Bioscope Studios". He had 20 or so people for Thanksgiving (hopefully all properly protected). His games are actually upstairs rather than in a basement or Batcave. "Papa" Vince got exhausted chasing his granddaughter around. Vince: "Interesting." RD: "Is it?" 

Vince calls the Duo's escape "kabuki-ish" while the Narrator mentions the inflating cape and "False Face in Chief's clothing". Vince is reminded of WWE doing similar reminders of their last week's terrible stuff. 

Rather than using the utility belt or a well-thrown Batarang, Batman is contacted by Alfred through his Battransmitter. He was listening to "the fragile intricacies of Mozart" in the Batcave and just remembered to check up on them after the DJ gave a vague statement about them. Batman asks him to pull the "short-circuit lever" for the transmitter, which he does despite his protests. This lets him break loose from his saran wrap bonds and use his "buzzer" to escape. Vince cannot believe how cheap it all was. RD agrees. The Duo stand by a wall as a flashlight goes past them. 

Male Passenger in train: "Isn't that Batman and Robin we just passed?"
Female Passenger in train: "Yes, fighting crime wherever it may be. Good for them!"

At "False Face Headquarters" Face "looks like the love child between Mean Gene Okerlund and Hulk Hogan". (:15) The two wonder what he's supposed to look like. Blaze now has pink hair. RD gives her 7.5 Batpoles, Vince 6.5. Even worse is the dwarf wanting to "deep six" her by throwing her in a river. 

To the Batcave, the Duo wonder who on the radio could have prompted Alfred to call them. RD knows it's the repentant Blaze. Vince thinks it's the dwarf. RD does his Vince as Chumley impression in response. 

Alfred is sewing Batman's glove while he's still wearing it. Vince sometimes irons his clothes while he's wearing them. RD hasn't ironed anything in a long while. 

At Police HQ the real O'Hara stumbles in from a garbage scow. 

Then it's back to the Batcave as the Duo watch television as a reporter remarks that O'Hara has "sworn revenge and will have an appeal to the citizens of Gotham later tonight". RD wishes it was televised. Vince recognizes the announcer as Gary Owens, a year before Laugh-In. RD asks Vince to please to explain Laugh-In.

They go to the radio station where the DJ thought "it was a religious announcement". Batman: "I don't think we should treat religion lightly." (It was the 60s after all, in between all the smoking.) 

The DJ also saw that the woman paying for the message had green hair. Vince thought Sable had the best hair in wrestling. RD has Bull Nakano. Vince: "What's with you and the Orientals on this show?" He remembers Ruby Riott not knowing what to say in her hometown. He also remembers reading two people online debate about Adam Cole being interrupted by Tony Khan using internet slang. RD tells Vince about Satan Stan's plan to take over the world using social media before social media took off. Anyway Blaze paid with a "false" check. Batman promises to get Gordon to pay for it. 

Speaking of Gordon, back at Police HQ they try to figure out their next move. O'Hara is so happy that he knows that there is money in a bank. Face is attempting to replace it with counterfeits. Batman wants him to be "encouraged, enticed, and then entrapped by falsehood!" Narrator: "Can Batman lie?"

Face sneaks into the bank as a security guard. (:37) RD loved his theme. The henchmen get to opening the vault. Vince wonders why they have different listings in the credits when they all have names. Says one of them: "We're rich beyond the dreams of avarice!" 

But of course it's the Duo inside instead.
Batman: "It's not only possible, it's true!"
Face (covering his eyes): "Please! Not that word!"

He then throws one of the goons at them to cover his tracks. The dwarf (whom RD recognizes as a Lollypop Kid) fights a sitting O'Hara for over three minutes. Face as a cop takes him away on his shoulder. The cop he replaced stumbles out in very tight fitting undergarments. 

Cue another car chase, with red haired Blaze tied up in the Trick Truck. Vince gives her 7, RD 7.5. Face laughs but doesn't click his heels as he leads the Duo to the abandoned Bioscope Studios. As Robin waxes philosophical about the validity of the movie sets, they drive straight into a net held up by more henchmen. Batman just shoots the net onto them. Vince was distracted by the constant cutaways clearly showing the stunt doubles. 

Robin stands up in his seat as the Batmobile drives around the corner...and Face blows it up into a wireframe. Then the real Batmobile shows up, having used an "inflated duplicate that I prepared for just this kind of situation" to distract him. 

Vince hates holiday decorating but he prefers inflatables over plastics. (:50) RD is so disgusted he has to step away from the camera for a moment. 

There's still eight minutes left to the episode, allowing Face to throw the "emergency escape lever" and launch a speeding motorcycle. Vince gives RD applause for knowing McMahon sponsored one of Evil Knievel's jumps. The Duo free Blaze who tells them to chase him on foot, so that their stunt doubles including Robin's 6'3" one can get their time on camera. Batman uses tied Batarangs to catch and potentially behead his opponent, but this just knocks him off the bike so that they can run around some more to pad out the episode. 

Finally Face turns into an old Western prospector, is thrown through a window, and shakes his fist in disgust. Vince wonders how confused the crew must have been in their attempts to keep Face's disguises straight. (That was actually because for some of the disguises they used different actors entirely, hence the "?" credit for them collectively.) Face then tries to sneak out as Gordon but Batman stops him by noticing he's holding his handkerchief in his left hand instead of his right. 

At Stately Wayne Manor Aunt Harriet is wearing a bra for once. (:60) A reformed Blaze now in boring black hair plans to go to New Zealand to look after her sheep-herder brother. Cue WWE style awkward staring. Cue cue credits listing Midget, Fat Man, and Thin Man. 

RD gives dwarf actor Billy Curtis some of his due that the show didn't give him by reading an IMDB blurb. Vince wonders why the "little people" don't have advocates to help represent them, so we can tell he never watched Game of Thrones (with all the good and bad that entails). RD wonders why Vince hasn't yet recorded a Christmas album. (He could call it Russo Swerves Sleighs On A Pole or something.)

RD: "Spoiler alert: I play Santa."

• Special Guest Villain: False Face (Malachi Throne as ?)

• Screen Captures: 2. RD, RD
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Unattractive, not being generous

Round Four - Food Fight: December 1, 2021

52 minutes

"RD Knows Pecan Pie is Best". He also changed into his WC attire with Former WCW World Champion Vince's photo on the back. Vince flexes in response.

Today they are going to debate Thanksgiving food. Before that they warn that in the Batman episode they were recording about before this they made a tangent on decorations so blood-boiling it made RD walk off. He has several blow-molded figurines for his decorations that he uses frequently. To store them he ties them with bungie cord and keeps them in holes in his garage.

Anyway, RD is to lay out a meal for a visiting Vince to determine by debate what foods they would or would not eat. (:09)

• Turkey: Vince hates having to carve and having to cleanly break the drumsticks, his favorite part (with RD).
• (Fried) Chicken: Vince loves Target's. He preferred KFC when it had the original recipe, which he thinks was sold off by the Colonel when he started franchising. RD doesn't like its current "cheapened" flavor. He occasionally tries the Long John Silver's, malt vinegar or otherwise. He now gets his chicken from a franchise called The Eagle, the Mrs from Kroger.
• Ham: Vince is not too big on it for any occasion. (:15) He makes Christmas dinner of leg of lamb. RD has food with the in-laws on the Day, and pizza rolls on the Eve, a tradition from childhood. This makes Vince walk off since he has fish for being an Italian; he has pizza rolls on New Year's Eve.
• Cranberries: The two have them unaltered. Mrs. Deal makes sauce out of them. Vince's daughter maddened him last year by cutting the turkey before cooking it. 
• Stuffing: Vince does not like it. He's never had it since his grandmother's passing more than 30 years ago. His traditional ways clash with the artistic flair of his daughter's.
• Mashed Potatoes: Vince likes them plain unlike his wife who loves all the condiments. (:25) RD does his Subway attendant impression to determine what sandwich he would order (a tuna melt). He likes to keep things simple as well.
• Sweet Potatoes: Vince only wants them properly sweet. RD agrees.
• Green Bean Casserole:  Vince will eat it but he won't go out of his way on it. RD is allergic to mushrooms so he won't eat any that has it. 
• Macaroni and Cheese: Vince likes it but not on Thanksgiving. He doesn't mind it with crackers or lobster. RD prefers sweeter crab legs. Vince doesn't mind crab cakes for Christmas Eve. He lists all the seafood he would give RD to eat on Christmas Eve. (:33) RD loves shrimp, especially for Thanksgiving, Vince for Christmas Eve. Vince likes wasabi, but not other kinds of spices.
• Cornbread: Vince doesn't have that for Thanksgiving, nor rolls or biscuits due to the carbohydrates in the bread. Mrs. Deal makes cinnamon butter to make a butter turkey.
• Broccoli Casserole: Vince has that instead of the mac and cheese. RD prefers the vegetable by itself.
• Fried Artichokes: RD tries to avoid anything with 'chokes' unlike Vince. He also doesn't really like them. 
• Pumpkin Pie: Vince prefers them, much to RD's disapproval. Pumpkins are not really his thing. (:39)
• Cherry Pie: Vince prefers apple pie for Thanksgiving although he doesn't like it much. He has cherry pie on other months. RD would have apple pie even though he dislikes fruit in general due to its living texture "Fruit is weird." Vince: "You're being weird."
• Pecan Pie: Vince would definitely have one before a pumpkin pie. He also likes whipped cream with it and Jello. Sadly his daughter does not like the whipped cream.

Vince would cut a promo against the "gabones" who keep delaying the queues sampling and trying everything at once. (:44) He wants to hydrate himself with a chocolate malt after all this recording. He and his wife managed to get skyline chili available in their nearby Kroger.

RD has his Christmas gift he will send to Vince to open on air. Vince wonders what he can send in return. He advises RD to cook his shrimp scampi with pancake batter.