Episode 31: Holy Triple Feature!: March 6, 2022

Death in Slow Motion
April 27, 1966
"The Riddler is back, and is pursuing a silent movie theme with his latest scheme."
71 minutes

"The Great" "RD: Also Not Wearing a Bra" Does that make Vince surly Alfred? RD is in his library since his normal shooting area is currently occupied. He and Mrs. Deal will go as the Dynamic Duo to the church's appreciation dinner. 

RD also confused Vince by asking him if 60s bras were expensive and making him excited enough to watch the episode at 4 am looking for Aunt Harriet. RD thinks he should pay a visit to the "oculist". Vince considers RD a brother regardless, even if he felt misled (and also from the baseball lock-out (and also conflict in Europe)). 

A silent black and white movie plays in a theater that's not in a baseball stadium or Ukraine but Washington Center "THE PLACE for arts in Gotham City!" (:13) And yet, despite the movie being at "The End" the Narrator is unconvinced. "This title is not correct! It's not The End, but The Beginning! The cue for one of the most baffling crime waves to ever confront the Dynamic Duo!"

Vince can't help but see the bad skin of the actors in High Def.  

In the lobby an old guy named Van Jones who looks like Mr. Freeze talks about the silent movies he owns. He is interrupted by Riddler walking in as Charlie Chaplin followed by goons as Keystone Cops unnoticed (and who are more actual cops than the normal ones). He meets his girl Pauline who does not immediately impress the Co-Bros with her wig. Together they dance a random gig that causes the sound of laughter to be piped in while the actual onlookers stare silently. Riddler then uses the distraction to gas the box office lady to steal her money (all $200 of it) and is "arrested" by his Cops while the people continue to applaud. Van Jones is not impressed by the "group of amateurs".

Gordon in his office immediately deduces it is "the prince of puzzlers, the master of criminal conundrums" and gets to the Batphone. Vince wonders what good their prison is at reform. This time Bruce himself picks up, again, and Gordon doesn't put two and two together, again. 

Dick: "Holy triple feature! Won't that crook ever learn?" 

As they go to the Batpoles they almost trip on each other. Bruce: "Excuse me." 

In the office Robin can figure the riddle that they will next hit Mother Gotham's Bakery because he can "dig musicans' slang", and Batman has to explain this to the "astonishing" policemen. (:30) 

At the Bakery Riddler confirms with his goons and cavewoman attire Pauline that the silent films are a distraction from their actual crimes. RD was confused by her attempt to look "poor" but she looked much better than the earlier scene, making him wonder if they changed actresses. She uses the dress to distract the baker at begging, then uses her shawl to make him pretend he's stuck in flypaper. Riddler blows her a kiss as he and the goons cause havoc causing a cartoon "WHACK!" 

RD: "Are you in agreement that something's going on between Pauline and Riddler? Do you think when they're getting intimate she says "riddle me this?"

Riddler hits another worker with a sleeping cream pie and a "nuts to you!" They blow up a safe with an explosive eclair and his safecracking skills, but before they leave they make sure the Duo are coming in first. They record them as they enter and see the pie. Batman: "Mother Gotham never baked this pie!" Another riddle of a "dishonest shortcake" leads them to the Branch Library on Baker Street. Vince mumble sings for some reason.

The Batmobile pulls up to another vehicle equally illegally parked, but Batman points out its diplomatic plates. The library is closed Wednesdays due to "lack of funds". Millionaire Batman: "Shocking." They use a Batkey to enter anyway where a giant book of silent films falls on them with more riddles. Unable to solve them for some reason the Duo decide to return to the Batcave to examine them in a magnifying glass. 

The Riddler's lair is an abandoned film studio where the goons watch Riddler constantly rewatch the Duo get hit by a giant book.

Alfred joins the Duo in the Batcave to figure out an answer is "dead pans". (:47) RD sings about Van Jones for some reason, who will have a viewing party of deadpan comedy while drinking lemonade. Riddler and goons are already there spiking the drink with "temperance liquid", reminding RD of a Popeye cartoon where Bluto sent him "punch cologne" that would cause people to punch him. In the end Popeye also punched himself, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. 

Gordon and O'Hara are also affected while they are talkin' baseball.
Gordon: "Maury Will's better than Honus Wagner?"
O'Hara: "Fifty times better!"
Gordon: "You're an ignorant oaf, Chief O'Hara! I wonder why I keep you in my department!"
O'Hara: "Your Royal Highness, oftentimes I wondered why I don't resign!"
RD did research for once which made him agree with Gordon. I'm just glad they didn't have their argument involving sabermetrics. 

Batman's stunt double bumps into Pauline so she can call actual Batman "you clumsy brute!" 

Gordon: "The BORES a man in my position has to tolerate! Is it worth it? NYAHHHHHHH!"

Cue everyone fighting or cheering those fighting. Batman tries to tell Robin monitoring in the Batmobile but gets interrupted by Pauline (who is dressed as Bo Peep for some reason) who gasses him. Batman raises his arms dramatically as he calls for order from the citizens, then chases the Riddler's cameramen who miss their shots at him. Gun shots, not camera shots. 

But Riddler has Robin tied up to a conveyor belt leading into a circular saw about to slice him in two.

It was then that RD saw how perky Pauline was. He had to lighten his screenshot slightly so Vince can see it and assume West was all over her. RD gives her earlier redhead look 6 Batpoles, 6.5 as Bo Peep, and an "easy" 8.5 for this natural braless look. Vince gives her 9. Sherry Jackson started as a child actor (with a long run on The Danny Thomas Show) who transitioned into a few guest roles (including an appearance in a rather awkward episode of The Original Series Star Trek) before retiring in the 80s to become an acting teacher. 

Riddler is so happy he does a backflip and sets the conveyor belt speed to Real Fast."You said Batman would be here in no time, but will he be here IN time?" Then he gasses him again just because. 

RD shows Vince's books hanging around him and asks for his signature.

• Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [4] (Frank Gorshin) [4]
  

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Church
• Blue Van: 1 
• Screen Captures: 1. RD

Episode 30: Holy Tome!: February 27, 2022

While Gotham City Burns
April 21, 1966
"To steal the Batmobile for a grand scheme, the Bookworm prepares a bizarre deathtrap for the Dynamic Duo."
84 minutes

"RD: Turning...My...Memory...Back" Vince is having an odd hair day after a long day yesterday. He wonders what to do with it. RD wonders if he can keep it uncut until they finish the entire series. Vince wonders how his wife would be able to handle it. Mrs. Deal is thankful his husband is bald rather than looking like Han Solo. 

Vince thought today's episode wasn't so good. RD wonders if he is still sleepy/asleep. Vince compares McDowall's large tongue to Dave Meltzer's. He shows him one of his paintings on this. RD considers putting a muzzle on Dave.  

While Robin remains tied the Narrator is worried about Batman driving "in the opposite direction on a trail that's fatally false!" (:16) He ends up at a bookstore where O'Hara is, who tells him that he messed up. Batman: "Don't tell me, GREAT HEAVENS! I'd better try to contact Robin instantly on the utility belt wavelink. Robin! ROBIN! Over." 

He then puts himself into a "trance" to turn...his...memory...back..."I'm trying to fathom the subconscious of a deadly criminal!" This leads him to "Big Benjamin" in the Clock Tower. Vince tries to point out that O'Hara also got to it and faster than Robin. He gives him applause. RD would give him a drink. 

So Batman speeds off at super-speed with a scared O'Hara. The show gives them one minute to rescue Robin. RD estimates it took them four. O'Hara wants to shoot the clock to stop it. Batman instead uses his Batzooka to connect electrical wires between the clock hands and the positive terminal of the Mobile's atomic power source, and asks O'Hara to clasp his hands and pray that their not an actual electrical circuit will work. Which it of course does.

In the lair Lydia can only hear a nightingale. Worm: "AHHHHH!" He throws random pages around. He then contemplates things while leaning on one of his goons: "I cannot conceive, but from "Gil Blas", translated by Tobias Smollett, Book 10, Chapter 3, quote: "Facts are stubborn things", unquote. Now the fact is that our bats have flown the belfry, unaccountably still squeaking. " Lydia: "Gee, and us with our super crime not pulled yet." All the goons then bow their heads in shame. Worm gives, and then takes his glasses back from Lydia, with a new plan in his mind.

Said plan is to just walk into Stately Wayne Manor right past Alfred and Aunt Harriet. (:33) He handles them by gassing them with another book, then smashes a case to steal another book. Gordon calls Batman in the Batcave to inform him of the theft. He first looks up as if to check for himself. "I'll be at Wayne Manor faster than anyone can imagine." Gordon also tells them there's a two story cookbook in the city. The Duo go to investigate, where Batman calls Worm a "foolish amateur" for his complicated plots. This is his despite having "no imagination".

Young RD was in a book club and once got the novelization of The Empire Strikes Back before the movie came out. Obviously learning beforehand that Obi-Wan was Luke's father ruined things. 

The Duo reach the book. Robin: "Holy Tome!" Batman has to tell the onlookers "the recipes in this book could be explosive!" As the cover is metallic they get out a yellow and pink Batmagnet to open it, as Worm and Lydia watch. Inside is a kitchen with "darn good soup"..."bat soup!" The door traps behind them. Worm gloats through a megaphone while Lydia fixes her makeup. He will steam them with "happy juices!" 

Batman: "Red alert, red alert! We are trapped inside a cookbook at 5th & Cedar!" 

Vince screen captured Dana Brooke's hair extensions for some reason. 

Gordon: "A fine pair of crime fighters, boiled in the entrails of a monster cookbook! Who could imagine a more tragic end?" 

Even worse is the Batmobile again being stolen. Batman then has to call the Batcave when Alfred is doing his daily routine of dusting the atomic pile. He literally jumps to the Batcomputer to assist. Gordon considers getting the Riddler from prison to safecrack the book before deciding to blow up the door conventionally. Finding nobody inside the police take off their hats to bow.

Worm and Lydia head with their goons to the Morganville library to steal some valuable books.
Lydia: ""The best laid plans of mice and men." I don't know where it's from, but I know it's true."
Worm: "Schemes. Schemes. Schemes. "The best laid schemes." Robert Burns, To A Mouse, Stanza 7. Schemes. You are graded C-minus."
They break through a wall with a Batbeam just as the Duo jump out of it, having heard everything beforehand. RD wonders why they didn't do anything earlier. They had also escaped through a steam shaft. RD wonders why they weren't cooked alive in there. Worm jumps into a trashcan. Lydia jumps into a box to watch with opera glasses. The goons are left to just run at the Duo with a wooden log as a battering ram. Batman steps out of the way throws a barrel at them, then watches Robin handle the rest. They then put a lid on the trashcan and beat on it like a drum so they can reveal a concussed Worm like in a (not The Animated Series) cartoon. 

In Gordon's office (:58) Bruce and Dick have heard about the "...bookworm? affair?" and give $5000 to the prison library. Bruce wonders what led Worm to villainy. Gordon offers to have him talk to Worm who is just waiting in the hallway. Lydia is also there reading a book about crime. Gordon: "You abandoned child! Is there no hope for you?" Bruce responds to Worm's book smarts with his own. Worm: "Bruce Wayne, you're almost as obnoxious as Batman!" 

Despite things, the two thought this day's episode wasn't so bad either. They wish there was more of him in the show. Or even in the world as all, for that matter.

RD is helping to prepare the 5th annual Rupert's Kids fundraiser on April 2nd at the Arcade. (:64)

Vince again asks RD his opinion on Cody Rhodes leaving AEW, which haven't really changed since the last time. 

RD still fondly remembers his personal interactions with Weird Al and how his welcoming nature still affects him and makes him want to do the same to others. 

Young Vince would often frequent the nearby New York Nets games and meet all the players. He could never forget getting starstruck into silence once by seeing late exiter Julius Erving and being asked to walk with him to his limo.

RD gives Vince a virtual hug.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Bookworm (Roddy McDowall)  

• URLs not taken: 1. DaveMeltzersTongue.com
• Entertain The People: 1
• Screen Captures: 2. Vince, Vince
  
• Vince Time Outs: 1
  

Episode 29: Holy Reincarnation!: February 20, 2022

The Bookworm Turns
April 20, 1966
"When Commission Gordon's death is faked by the Bookworm, the Dynamic Duo must track down the literate criminal to find out what he is up to."
77 minutes

"RD Wants a Blue Van" Don't we all.

Once again Vince prefers 60s Batman to 20s WWE due to its actual characterizations. They agree that the Batman actors "got it".

At a newly constructed bridge dozens of people golf clap a beauty pageant queen who is there to open it with giant scissors while Gordon stands behind her. A blue van run by KGCTV is also in attendance. RD wonders based on his broadcast knowledge (used to voice a fascinating 900 year old disk jockey) that puts the city on the west coast rather than its traditional place in New Jersey. Vince gives him actual applause.

The Bookworm wonders into the shot of the camera as Dick watches this on Stately Wayne Manor by sitting way too close to the screen eating his milk and cookies. (Aunt Harriet was elsewhere wearing a bra.) To Bruce's questioning Dick's recognition, the Boy Wonder points out his "crazy clothes that look like old worn book bindings" of a regular brown leather suit, a desk lamp on his head, and trick eyeglasses "with the secret radio stuff built in." RD uses a headlamp for maintaining his pinball tables. Vince wonders if he wears one during sex. 

Bookworm has his goon, or as he calls him a Printer's Devil (an old term for a printing apprentice), shoot Gordon's stunt double off the bridge. Bruce declares they don't need to wait for a call on the Batphone from Gordon's corpse (to be grumpily answered by Alfred, who's not here this episode). He tells a tearful Aunt Harriet that they have to go pay their respects within 15 seconds of his "death". 

Bruce: "I solemnly swear by my oath as a crime-fighter that this outrage will not go unavenged! To the Batpoles!"

The Duo run into Police HQ to discuss the situation with O'Hara (:20) as a woman in really tight pants tosses a book (For Whom the Bell Tolls) into the Batmobile. RD wishes he had a copy of the Bookworm's theme with him. O'Hara turns into Mickey Mouse as he loses his mind against "you pasty faced devil!" Then Gordon walks in. His secretary Bonnie rushes towards him in a very sensual manner. RD thinks there's something between the two. Robin: "Holy reincarnation!" Gordon was actually delayed by a ticket by "a monumentally stupid police officer." This causes O'Hara to overdramatically belly laugh and show his bad teeth. Gordon: "Are you anxious to be transferred to the Department of Sanitation?" Batman has to explain the situation "performed by an ex-pert high diver in Bookworm's pay." He then gets an alert on his utility belt from the Batmobile's bomb detector, and he ejects the seat with the book bomb on it that explodes into thousands of pages. The Printer's Devil who is observing all this reports to his boss with a very big book communicator. Batman makes the expected pun on the book's title.

In the Batcave they learn Bookworm is a "failed novelist". RD wonders how such a thing is possible when he and Vince have written some. Vince: "That's a big overtaking man." Batman determines some of Bookworm's plans from the plot of the book (an American is sent to blow up a bridge during the Spanish Civil War).

Bookworm's lair is the expected library, where for once his girl Lydia Limpet is actually his girlfriend. "You're one clever worm, Bookworm." He responds with a soliloquy about books. Vince feels nostalgic listening to RD. Worm then loses his own mind with Lydia wonders why he doesn't attempt to write again, saying he has "no originality" to write anything of his own. Vince wonders why he didn't self-publish. He's about to piledrive Lydia into the ground with a giant book (and according to Vince make her breasts explode) until he sees the book (which looks more like a telephone book) is about self-control and starts speed reading it with his hands, getting the idea to add a "twist in our plot".

Here's a thought; since Batman is all about redeeming criminals, why doesn't he get Bruce to help Worm with the writing and publishing and thus take another villain off the streets?

In the Batmobile the Duo wonder on Worm's motive. (:37) Gordon calls for their assistance, prompting a Batturn which RD demonstrates with his Lego Batmobile. Upon completing the maneuver the Duo then call the Parachute Pickup Service in another Blue Van. Then another Blue Van shows up as the Bookmobile, driven by his other goon Pressman. 

Batman declares Worm has "blown up the bridge" through a projected photograph from the Bookmobile. They can't climb up the wall it's on with rope so they instead first use a "Batzoom." As they climb up, the first window celebrity, Jerry Lewis, pokes his head out of a separate window to greet them both. "Holy human flies!"

Having seen the Bookmobile, Batman orders Robin back down by "reverse Batclimb" so they can use the "Batray" at "12000 deci-bells." This draws out Worm and five scrawny goons, leaving Lydia tied and gagged inside the Bookmobile, so they can fight. And by fight, they first run circles around the Duo. Batman: "Wait! Your glasses!" To Robin: "Remember: never hit a man with glasses." Worm hides in a dumpster as the Duo throw in the goons with him, only to find it has a trapdoor which they all escape through. Batman: "You cowardly worms!"  

They go to Lydia in the Bookmobile.
Robin: "Holy Cinderella! It's just like a fairy tale!"
Batman warns it could be a trap.
Robin: "She has honest eyes."
Batman: "Never trust that old chestnut that crooks have beady little eyes. It's false. I say we subject her to the most rigid test."
And then he gasses her so that they can take her to the Batcave. 

They put her under the Hypermetric Lie Detector to hear Worm hasn't actually told anyone his scheme yet, but it relies on the Duo dying. Unlike many other women actors on the show, Francine York actually had a long acting career on television. Early morning Vince getting on top of his screen to watch the episodes subjected him to seeing her "very bad skin" and thus only 7 Batpoles. RD has 7.5. 

Then Lydia starts with the lying, like how Worm plans to steal the Declaration of Independence (now THERE'S a role for Nicholas Cage to play!). Robin gives a huge eye roll.
Batman: "Another trap, of course."
Robin: "You could say that again."
Batman: "Another trap!"
He tells Robin to guard "the crooked girl" while he just leaves to walk into the trap anyway.

Lydia flirts with Robin enough to ask him to read a book about "the complete English history" that when opened gasses him. She calls up Worm on her own communicator: "Bookworm, do you read me? Am I legible?" 

Jump cut to Robin hanging upside down in the bell of Wayne Memorial Clock Tower (in memory of Thomas Wayne). (:59) Vince wonders if this infringes on later villain Clock King. Worm soliloquies some more, confusing his goons by asking for the time in bad French or Dutch. After giving his goodbyes he gets the bell ringing with Robin swinging around in it. RD wonders how a villain with "no imagination" can have such an ingenious plan. 

Narrator: "Stick merciful cotton in your ears! The death knell sounds tomorrow!"

Vince enjoyed the cleverness and the new villain, even if only for the week. RD agrees, even if he thought the skin in high-def didn't look bad.

Vince asks RD on his opinion of Cody Rhodes leaving AEW. (:64) As he relates and wrote about, he considers this a good thing overall for the two companies and the industry. However they also hope there's a good payoff in the long term. This is also assuming McMahon doesn't continue to lose his mind and squander him.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Bookworm (Roddy McDowall)  

• Entertain The People: 1
  
• Blue Van: 3
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. The plus side, Mrs. Deal
• RD Time Outs:  1 (Real Quick) 
• Window Celebrity: 1. Jerry Lewis
  

Episode 28: Holy Hyenas!: February 13, 2022

The Pharaoh's in a Rut
April 14, 1966
"Bruce frees himself just before the cart he is riding goes over a cliff. As Batman, he works to bring King Tut to justice. But the hero is captured by King Tut instead. Batman is then tortured as King Tut drops a pebble on his head at a time. Robin works to track Batman in time."
71 minutes

"RD Misses Demolition Derby" He compensates by having his WWE Niagara Falls Cup with him for what would have been Blade's 47th birthday.

Vince writes less for three hour Raw than he does for 25 minute Batman. If he could RD would have Han Solo frozen in carbonite like he was Jabba the Hutt. Vince would have one of the (original) Planet of the Apes chimpanzee outfits. 

The Narrator still thinks the statue was a sphinx. "BRUCE IN A BLANKET?" Instead of showing him they have a shot of Nefertiti. "And another dish!" says the Narrator randomly. 

Light jazz leads to Bruce continuing to roll along. Vince kept seeing the mound of dirt and a string tied to the gurney.

Vince only now notices the Cup, which RD explains to him by taking a sip. (:10) Vince had no idea they had a shop up there.

Then Bruce just unties himself and pulls the metal railing on the gurney to get off it just in time. RD was sad it then didn't burst into fire. 

Tut now has a fifth woman in his throne room watching Demolition Derby. Vince randomly guesses they may be from Yale. The Co-Bros wonder why Derbies aren't being shown more these days. Tut changes the channel to the news. Nefertiti: "You know all this! Switch back to the spaaarts!" 

Batman is seen at Gordon's office telling people that Bruce is alright (because he is he). Tut makes a sound of a cat coughing up a furball. Nerfertiti: "Batman! He turns me ooooohhhhhhhnnnn!" Tut attempts to summon his "ninnies".

Sad News: Mrs. Deal never called her husband "groovy". (:19)

Batman: "In my expert opinion Commissioner, we're seeing the dust of centuries blown away with a monstrous revival of a strange and ancient cult."
Gordon: "It's unearthly."
Batman: "Perhaps."
Batman then declares he will research further into "secret archives" in the library of Alexandra. Gordon thinks he means Washington DC.
Gordon: "Who will balk the criminal schemes of this madman who calls himself King Tut?"
Batman: "I pass the Egyptian ball to you Commissioner."

Vince's phone accidentally rings with a call from his father. 

Tut then goes into a hard to understand rage, exacerbated by Nefertiti reminding him he was once a professor. "Nuuuuuuuuuuu?" He blows on a loud horn to tell his servants to take her away. "While Batman is bounding around in belfries in far off Egypt, I'll do what I set out to do before: abduct Bruce Wayne!"

In the Batcave (:25) Robin actually thinks Batman is going to travel. Of course it's just a trap to get Tut to kidnap Bruce again, or rather his "life like dummy". They have to do this while trying not to let Aunt Harriet know (or find the Duo hiding nearby).

RD does not understand warm milk. Vince has it with butter. 

Batman: "It's almost the hour of the hyena; 6 o'clock in our nomenclature. That's the time when Egyptian super-criminals invariably strike! Now the hyenas are at the gate. Who knows what form they'll take?" 

Tut's goon enter disguised as a policeman and gases Alfred the "buster" (who has pilled himself to handle it) and the dummy, then just leaves. As other goons come in, Batman randomly does a back bump to put himself in the dummy's place, which they take instead to the Royal Barge. Alfred has to follow Robin via service elevator instead of Batpole where they tell Gordon they are tracking Batman via his cowl.
Alfred: "Those poor demented felons!"
Gordon: "Heartwarming indeed, Boy Wonder! The way a distinguished millionaire like Bruce Wayne operates in the fight against crime! Not all millionaires would be so self-sacrificing!" 

The goons take the body to the park statue where one of them pulls out a scroll warning them of a spot changing leopard or something. So they knock out Batman with a club to the head, somehow disrupting the tracking signal.

They take him to Tut's dungeon with his "ex-queen", again with non-Egyptian medieval torture devices. He plans to torture them with the dreaded "pebble torture" which is dropping a thousand pebbles on them over time like Chinese water. Batman again tries to remind him he was a professor. Tut: "Speed it up!" 

Robin and Alfred figure out the location while Gordon says Tut will ransom Batman for $1 million from Bruce. RD wonders what happened to his original plan to conquer Gotham City. Alfred suggests getting police help for some reason. Robin calls them "heavy-handed". He then asks for Gordon to drive the Batmobile. 

In the dungeon Batman and Nefertiti sings "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat" for some reason. Tut wants to determine their sanity more though, so he has the ancient Egyptian record player play some light jazz to watch Batman dance the Batusi. Batman has held on through counting his multiplication tables - backwards! - and uses his strength to help him fight. Robin soon joins in as Tut makes it out of there.

The Duo exit to find Alfred knocked out and Tut having taken the Batmobile. Vince wonders what their fight might have looked like. So they give chase in the Golden Royal Sedan. (:44) Batman connects to the Batcave's voice control Batmobile relay circuit to fire the ejector seat to launch Tut. 

Thankfully it doesn't work, much to Robin's dismay. Batman: "Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin. None of them are infallible. It's a lesson which much be faced."

Vince asks Alexa about ghost presences in the house. RD's Alexa scares him by her proactiveness. 

Tut then comes behind the Sedan preparing the Batbeam - but launches the ejection instead. He gets up to fight - and Batman knocks him out with one punch. "That's life, Robin, full of ups and downs. It ill befits any of us to grow too confident."

Tut is taken to Gordon's office for some reason as he references his "hem" and having sympathy for his plight rather than just sending him to a mental hospital. This proves correct as he wakes up back to normal. "Whatever will the Dean say?" 

Vince remembers Dallas Page once wanting to do an angle faking his own death including hiding overseas (:53) RD: "Maybe [Goldust] was once a Yale professor too."

The Co-Bros found Tut very entertaining, with his lines and music and outfits. RD pledges to send Vince sound-bites to play.

Vince admired the commitment and passion of the actors playing the villains. He looks forward to next time's Roddy McDowall as his only (worm) turn as Bookworm. He wonders if he was too preoccupied by filming for Planet of the Apes.

RD tests Vince on some Cameo prices. (:62)

• Special Guest Villain: King Tut (Victor Buono)
  

Episode 27: Holy Whiskers!: February 6, 2022

The Curse of Tut
April 13, 1966
"A former academic who thinks he is really King Tut has returned. Batman and Robin seek his capture. A twist occurs, however, when King Tut's gang kidnaps Bruce Wayne. They are taking the millionaire in an ambulance. As Bruce tries to get free, the rear doors of the ambulance open and Bruce rides a cart toward a cliff."
78 minutes

"RD Reynolds: Nemesis of the Nile!" Vince wants to sell Joker mustaches. They would be licenses to print money (only to be stolen by a villain). Mrs. Deal does not like mustaches. Neither does Mrs. Russo, but without it "I look like a child."

They kept stopping and starting their watching of the day's episode to keep track of everything like a wrestling program. This includes explaining the motive of a villain for once, like Mr. Freeze earlier. However this was especially needed for Tut who was an original creation of the show (even Zelda had a one-off comic a year earlier), and would not make an appearance in paper for 43 years. 

On a "deceptive quiet" afternoon at Gotham Central Park, goons take off their gold masks to place an Egyptian statue that is too large to fit into the blue van. (:08) For some reason this causes an onlooker to scream loudly. A female voice from the statue proclaims that "the great king of the Nile" is to claim Gotham City and any challengers are to be "smitten dead!" 

RD will only be on Cameo like those he recently wrote about if he can charge $1.99 for his services. Vince: "Interesting."

For some reason Gordon calls the statue a sphinx despite it clearly not looking like one. He is then appalled at O'Hara thinking it's publicity for the museum: "Is there no limit to the brazen effrontery of the press agent? They'll pay for their stunts!" So he calls Bruce, who is with Dick and "hot" bra-less Aunt Harriet about to go to the museum. He is alarmed by "my dear commissioner" and calls him wit-less before hanging up on him.

So Gordon calls Batman, not noticing that like the last call it's Alfred who picks up first. He gives the cover of a thick book on "ancient Egyptian cat worship cults" for Bruce to give the slip to a very agitated Harriet. Complains she: "Mercy alive, such an impetuous pair! There should be some way to harness such energy!"

Again Gordon doesn't notice that Batman sounds exactly like Bruce. Dick: "Holy hieroglyphics! This might mean a battle royale!"

At Gordon's office they determine it is the doings of King Tut, having survived their last encounter in a warehouse fire "like a phoenix from the ashes." It's not like ancient Egypt had any famous connections with the afterlife that would necessitate better similes or anything.
Batman: "So our mad pharaoh has found himself a Nefertiti; some hapless female trapped IN A LIFE OF CRIME!"
They then consider calling the National Guard to blow up one random statue. Vince thinks it may have been a Trojan Horse. RD thinks it was more of a clown car due to its three foot width. 

We do learn some more about our villain of the week; he was once a Yale professor before he hit his head during a student riot. Batman has more pity for him for his situation than anything.

Still, being in Yale doesn't usually get one a full scale throne room with a full contingent of four women and four goons in attendance. (:29) Tut orders the commencement of Phase 2. One goon wonders why he's revealing all this. Tut: "You're a twit." He then snorts his declaration to handle Batman. "Snick snack stare! Battlestations to the royal barge!" RD waves a bottle of Roddy Piper bubblegum soda like his scepter.

The Duo go to the park to examine the "Sphinx of Giza" which looks nothing like it. Another announcement warns people not to approach or risk the wrath of Anubis "the jackal guardian of the cemeteries...and that goes double for you Batman!" Rather than just pull at a convenient handle on the statue to open it, he ties a basic knot for it, revealing a random knife. Robin: "Holy whiskers! That was a close shave!" 

Tut's Nefertiti watches and signals with a mirror. "CURSES!" he shouts. The Duo also see her and give chase: "HALT YOU DELUDED CREATURE!" She throws a smoke bomb to escape. Robin: "Holy asp!" So they have their stunt doubles briefly fight some sword wielding goons. Vince likens it to Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park and Ace Frehley having a Black stunt double. 

They decide to investigate the museum further, so Bruce goes surrounded by the press. (:38) He opens one sarcophagus to reveal a 3500 year old mummy inside. Bruce: "I think it's safe to say this particular fellow will not rise again. Ha. Ha. Ha." But then it does...just to fall down. Bruce: "IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?" Vince tried to contain his laughter being so close to Scott Steiner doing mathematics. He would have no idea how he would be on the Batman sets. Both are amazed by West's performances. 

A reporter remarks on the curse being real as they put the remains on a medical gurney. Bruce tags along just because (he's rich), and so the medical staff can gas him in an empty lobby. Of course it's Tut as the mummy as they put Bruce on the gurney. 

In the throne room Tut brushes his beard with a very small toothbrush. Nefertiti is also there eating a hot dog in a very sexual manner, which he disapproves of: "You abandoned wretch! How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectar and ambrosia...not hot dogs!"
Nefertiti: "So I get hungry, living on nothing but figs and dates and pomegranates. Want a bite?"
Tut: "Bah! Unclean!"
She summons the "charioteer" by blowing a horn and shouting "Home toots! And step on it!"

Vince thinks Nefertiti was rough around the edges but her sexuality and clothing give her a "very disappointing" 6.5 Batpoles because it could have been more. RD gives her 7 for too much makeup. Shockingly enough for its time, Nefertiti's actress is regionally appropriate, played by Israeli-American actress Ziva Rodann. She had an uncredited appearance in King Creole, which Vince knew was Elvis Presley's favorite movie music wise. RD: "Fascinating." 

At the park Tut has Nefertiti go through some lines (on cue cards just for the expected upside-down sight gag) to recite through the statue. They inform the people standing around eating popcorn that Bruce has been abducted. Tut: "Remember Batman: Bruce Wayne's life is in your hand."

Bruce himself is still in the ambulance, which looks too much to the Co-Bros like the Ecto-1. As he's not being tied down to anything but the gurney he bounces all over the place as they go down a rather bumpy road. Says one goon to his colleague: "You know Harry, that Tut's a kook, but he's got brains!" In the Batcave Robin has to frantically answer Gordon asking for Batman. (:55) Mrs. Deal wondered if Robin was on cocaine. Bruce manages to roll out the back out of the vehicle only to find himself rolling down a hill towards a 300 foot drop into a pile of dirt. 

Narrator: "Holy Cliffhanger! Bruce Wayne hurtling toward an awesome abyss! What will be his fate? How can he possibly be saved this time? Be in front of your Bat-sets tomorrow night. Same time. Same channel. One hint: the most horrendous is yet to come!" 

The two enjoyed the episode greatly, especially the change of pace with the villain and writing. 

Vince subjected himself to watching the last part of the Royal Rumble where a celebrity took out half the wrestlers. (:60) RD will always love Andre the Giant strangling Bob Uecker: "DON'T WORRY ABOUT VANNA WHITE!" He also remembers heel Howard Finkel in Memphis. Vince had him as his first driving partner in WWF who would sometimes drive with his feet and gave him his first Dairy Queen Blizzard. 

Vince has a conspiracy theory about Triple HHH's "cardiac event" being a cover to get rid of him from the company. RD thinks the medical situation was far worse than reported upon. "Maybe he thinks he's King Tut now."

• Special Guest Villain: King Tut (Victor Buono)

 

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