by iggy
January 29, 2010
Hornswoggle wins again.
Gay Popeye calls.
Kelly Kelly, Olympian
Demolition Rumble
Angry Jim
#double dip #bedpost
Random Thoughts From The Office, January 29, 2010
This Week in WrestleCrap Radio History
1 Year Ago: As I've been told in numerous torture sessions this week, THIS week was the episode with Shane killing off MegaTrolla. Can't I dream of a world without Megatrolla? WON'T YOU GRANT ME THAT?
2 Years Ago: The thought of Blade using the Katie Vick outfit as a sexual aid forces RD to Walk Out on the show (As opposed to our favorite recapper Premier Blah, who just wishes he could walk out on Recapping every week).
3 Years Ago: RD learns that White Castle is taking reservations for Valentine's Day, leading to a scheme to get Mrs Deal to go with him (The Repressed Memories of which probably led to the Attempted Murder of Stubby and the Outright Murder of Johnny 4)
4 Years Ago: Jameson is on Blade's Wall and that new Squad.....man do they have Spirit.
I know, I'm as shocked as you are. I've survived another week to share more of my thoughts on all things wrestling and WrestleCrap related with you. There was that aforementioned torture session....I really don't want to go into that but suffice to say I now know why there are never any lights at WrestleCrapRadio HQ (And it's not because Blah's just cheap). [I guess I run on the souls of the damned for power - PB] So let's go through the highlights of randomness that are causing discussion around the water coolers here at the Offices of Clarence Mason, Attorney at Law.
On WrestleCrap this week, the saga of Damien Dependo comes to an end, the only way it can, with an FYBA World Heavyweight Title match between Mr. Braxton and Mr. Dependo. I was originally going to call this column "From the Outer Reaches of Your Mind" to be a real smartass but I decided against it for two reasons.
1. I think I might make a slight amount more sense than Damien Demento. (Not by much. I'm kind of on a level with the crazy old man from the Simpsons. I can even sing "The Old Gray Mare she ain't what she used to be")
2. Without him talking about the Fruitcakes anymore it's just not funny.
But am I the only one who's reading too much into this, we've gone from Fruitcakes to repeated attacks to training videos to cartoon theme singoffs to this final installment and I keep wondering to myself....WHY? I realize by the quality and quantity of his Youtube Shoots that Mr Demento REALLY has nothing better to do but why the fascination with Wrestlingcrip.com? (To make Blah's job easier, Wrestlingbloods.com is still NOT taken.)[Why thank you. - PB] Maybe it's just me but I'm convinced the more I hear and see Damien Demento that something more is going on here. So I'm going to make a prediction: sometime in 2010 Damien Demento is going to be on Wrestlecrap Radio. To me it's the only thing that possibly can add up in all this, why would there be this constant back and forth barrage (Other than the fact it's funny to see Demento constantly get owned). Unless Damien is really just that sad, which is not beyond the realms of possibility but I somehow doubt it. Time will tell.
The Gooker Award is the other big WrestleCrap news of the week. No real shock to see it went to Chavo v Hornswoggle: The Neverending Story. (Neverending Storrrrreyyyyy ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhh. I actually prefered the guy in Kajagoogoo) That feud was just so painfully bad that it made me pine for a Bastion Booger match. A lot of people wanted the Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell match from TNA to win the Gooker and it was insulting no doubt but I'll tell you why I believe while it definitely is WrestleCrap, it's not a Gooker Award winner.
1. As horrifically bad a match as it is, it was still only one match, whereas Chavo and Hornswoggle went on for week after week, year after year, decade after decade. I'm sure when I go to wrestling fan hell, that series of matches is going to be on permanent loop, along with a Sega Genesis with a broken controller and Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game because nothing says fun like the Undertaker flinging imaginary tombstones at opponents.
2. It's not the worst match I've even seen, it's in the top 5 no doubt, but it's not the worst, not by a long shot. That dubious honor falls on.....and shall always fall on Kriss Sprules vs Cage Tyler from British "Wrestling" (I use the Rabbit Ears around "Wrestling" deliberately, because to say that they're wrestling is an insult to wrestling cause I've literally seen backyard matches with better wrestling maneuvers than this "Classic"........Do a search for "Kris Sprules V Cage Tyler" on Youtube if you don't believe me.....or go to the wrestlecrap forum and watch the embed in the {W}rest of Wrestling section under Worst match you've seen......DISCLAIMER: Clarence "Showstealer" Mason and the employees, sponsors and affiliates of Wrestlecrapradio.com take no responsibility whatsoever for any damage, emotional, physical or otherwise that may be caused by watching this match. This match makes Jenna V Sharmell look like friggin' Steamboat-Flair from '89. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED) federation OPWO. The Commentary if you get that version almost saves it (It was actually done by a guy on another wrestling forum. Not the OPWO). Key word: ALMOST.
3. It wasn't even the worst TNA angle of the year, that was "The Governor" angle (Although that angle would've ruled had Daffney come out to the Guv'ner generic theme from WWF Attitude "IT'S THE GUV'NER BABY! AND I'M GONNA RULE ALL OVER YOU! LET'S LEGISLATE!") It does earn points for pretty much turning Daffney batshit crazy and running to the care of Dr Stevie, resulting in the Zombie Hot Goth Goddess she's become but even that doesn't save the crap we had to go through to get to that point.
For almost every option on the Gooker voting this year you could kind of go over it and figure out a reason why it wasn't a Gooker winner......all except Chavo-Hornswoggle, which had no rhyme, no reason, no payoff, no effort, no great matches, just pure unadulterated pain for everyone who was fool enough to watch it. Basically it's kinda like watching the New Era of Impact.....but hey that's a thought for another time. The court's being called back from recess. I have to go to work
Clarence "Showstealer" Mason
1 Year Ago: As I've been told in numerous torture sessions this week, THIS week was the episode with Shane killing off MegaTrolla. Can't I dream of a world without Megatrolla? WON'T YOU GRANT ME THAT?
2 Years Ago: The thought of Blade using the Katie Vick outfit as a sexual aid forces RD to Walk Out on the show (As opposed to our favorite recapper Premier Blah, who just wishes he could walk out on Recapping every week).
3 Years Ago: RD learns that White Castle is taking reservations for Valentine's Day, leading to a scheme to get Mrs Deal to go with him (The Repressed Memories of which probably led to the Attempted Murder of Stubby and the Outright Murder of Johnny 4)
4 Years Ago: Jameson is on Blade's Wall and that new Squad.....man do they have Spirit.
I know, I'm as shocked as you are. I've survived another week to share more of my thoughts on all things wrestling and WrestleCrap related with you. There was that aforementioned torture session....I really don't want to go into that but suffice to say I now know why there are never any lights at WrestleCrapRadio HQ (And it's not because Blah's just cheap). [I guess I run on the souls of the damned for power - PB] So let's go through the highlights of randomness that are causing discussion around the water coolers here at the Offices of Clarence Mason, Attorney at Law.
On WrestleCrap this week, the saga of Damien Dependo comes to an end, the only way it can, with an FYBA World Heavyweight Title match between Mr. Braxton and Mr. Dependo. I was originally going to call this column "From the Outer Reaches of Your Mind" to be a real smartass but I decided against it for two reasons.
1. I think I might make a slight amount more sense than Damien Demento. (Not by much. I'm kind of on a level with the crazy old man from the Simpsons. I can even sing "The Old Gray Mare she ain't what she used to be")
2. Without him talking about the Fruitcakes anymore it's just not funny.
But am I the only one who's reading too much into this, we've gone from Fruitcakes to repeated attacks to training videos to cartoon theme singoffs to this final installment and I keep wondering to myself....WHY? I realize by the quality and quantity of his Youtube Shoots that Mr Demento REALLY has nothing better to do but why the fascination with Wrestlingcrip.com? (To make Blah's job easier, Wrestlingbloods.com is still NOT taken.)[Why thank you. - PB] Maybe it's just me but I'm convinced the more I hear and see Damien Demento that something more is going on here. So I'm going to make a prediction: sometime in 2010 Damien Demento is going to be on Wrestlecrap Radio. To me it's the only thing that possibly can add up in all this, why would there be this constant back and forth barrage (Other than the fact it's funny to see Demento constantly get owned). Unless Damien is really just that sad, which is not beyond the realms of possibility but I somehow doubt it. Time will tell.
The Gooker Award is the other big WrestleCrap news of the week. No real shock to see it went to Chavo v Hornswoggle: The Neverending Story. (Neverending Storrrrreyyyyy ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhh. I actually prefered the guy in Kajagoogoo) That feud was just so painfully bad that it made me pine for a Bastion Booger match. A lot of people wanted the Jenna Morasca vs Sharmell match from TNA to win the Gooker and it was insulting no doubt but I'll tell you why I believe while it definitely is WrestleCrap, it's not a Gooker Award winner.
1. As horrifically bad a match as it is, it was still only one match, whereas Chavo and Hornswoggle went on for week after week, year after year, decade after decade. I'm sure when I go to wrestling fan hell, that series of matches is going to be on permanent loop, along with a Sega Genesis with a broken controller and Wrestlemania: The Arcade Game because nothing says fun like the Undertaker flinging imaginary tombstones at opponents.
2. It's not the worst match I've even seen, it's in the top 5 no doubt, but it's not the worst, not by a long shot. That dubious honor falls on.....and shall always fall on Kriss Sprules vs Cage Tyler from British "Wrestling" (I use the Rabbit Ears around "Wrestling" deliberately, because to say that they're wrestling is an insult to wrestling cause I've literally seen backyard matches with better wrestling maneuvers than this "Classic"........Do a search for "Kris Sprules V Cage Tyler" on Youtube if you don't believe me.....or go to the wrestlecrap forum and watch the embed in the {W}rest of Wrestling section under Worst match you've seen......DISCLAIMER: Clarence "Showstealer" Mason and the employees, sponsors and affiliates of Wrestlecrapradio.com take no responsibility whatsoever for any damage, emotional, physical or otherwise that may be caused by watching this match. This match makes Jenna V Sharmell look like friggin' Steamboat-Flair from '89. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED) federation OPWO. The Commentary if you get that version almost saves it (It was actually done by a guy on another wrestling forum. Not the OPWO). Key word: ALMOST.
3. It wasn't even the worst TNA angle of the year, that was "The Governor" angle (Although that angle would've ruled had Daffney come out to the Guv'ner generic theme from WWF Attitude "IT'S THE GUV'NER BABY! AND I'M GONNA RULE ALL OVER YOU! LET'S LEGISLATE!") It does earn points for pretty much turning Daffney batshit crazy and running to the care of Dr Stevie, resulting in the Zombie Hot Goth Goddess she's become but even that doesn't save the crap we had to go through to get to that point.
For almost every option on the Gooker voting this year you could kind of go over it and figure out a reason why it wasn't a Gooker winner......all except Chavo-Hornswoggle, which had no rhyme, no reason, no payoff, no effort, no great matches, just pure unadulterated pain for everyone who was fool enough to watch it. Basically it's kinda like watching the New Era of Impact.....but hey that's a thought for another time. The court's being called back from recess. I have to go to work
Clarence "Showstealer" Mason
166 Demographics: January 29, 2010
67 minutes
The votes are in, and YOUR 2009 Gooker goes to the eternal feud that was Hornswaggle and Chavo Guerrero making fools out of each other throughout the past year. That does not help lift Blade from his funk, derived from his upcoming 35th birthday removing him from the coveted 18-34 demographic. But it's a good time for him to get drunk (when is it not?). He makes a Fruedian slip in wanting to hire a client of his prostitute roommate. Either he's already drunk or he wants to experiment in his mid-life crisis. (This brings in the expected caller-in for such a thing.) Then the Co-Hosses make fun of random listeners, as is their wont.
:14 Blade took a TRIP to some random bathroom (he prefers to do his business in proper toilets) where he finds one of those bathroom vending machines selling Kaluha flavored condoms. They're non alcoholic sadly, so it confuses him. It confuses me too, I can never really grasp the notion of birth control dispensers in public bathrooms, especially airports. Do they expect people to join the mile high club in today's airplanes' small bathrooms?
:20 Mattel is now making WWE toys. Vince has also forgiven the Denver Nuggets, or yet again forgot his random hatred against them, as WWE will return to their Pepsi Center on March 12. Kelly Kelly answers a random question with teddy bears, and tries to persuade us that she was a probable Olympic candidate before she "broke her ass". RD wants WWE to make resolutions to their storylines, which they won't do as it would actually make sense. A&E is making some show about Backyard Wrestling...hosted by Bob Saget. No, I don't know why either. RD makes fun of Blade some more, the poor man.
Steven in Sacramento's Question about Demolition (:38) devolves into talking about Domino's Pizza. As far as I can recall I don't think the Noid was their manager.
Jim Ross calls in to try and solve their TNA conundrum, (:45) but he's just there to talk more nonsense and read comments about some video of his. "You don't wanna suck, you wanna lick," he advises. Sadly Blade is too lazy to bring Sir Alec to help with the task.
:57 The two wonder who will be making surprise appearances at this week's Royal Rumble. Blade will always mark out for the Black Scorpion. Shane Helms and Chris Jericho were arrested in Kentucky near RD's old home for disorderly conduct and posted a $120 bond. Randy Orton received a 10-year contract as well as $600,000 for his terrible Wrestlemania match against Triple H.
Seventeen quick syllables on the second most boring man in WWE (behind John Cena):
Ten years of Orton.
Fuck. Please wake me up in the
year twenty-twenty.
The votes are in, and YOUR 2009 Gooker goes to the eternal feud that was Hornswaggle and Chavo Guerrero making fools out of each other throughout the past year. That does not help lift Blade from his funk, derived from his upcoming 35th birthday removing him from the coveted 18-34 demographic. But it's a good time for him to get drunk (when is it not?). He makes a Fruedian slip in wanting to hire a client of his prostitute roommate. Either he's already drunk or he wants to experiment in his mid-life crisis. (This brings in the expected caller-in for such a thing.) Then the Co-Hosses make fun of random listeners, as is their wont.
:14 Blade took a TRIP to some random bathroom (he prefers to do his business in proper toilets) where he finds one of those bathroom vending machines selling Kaluha flavored condoms. They're non alcoholic sadly, so it confuses him. It confuses me too, I can never really grasp the notion of birth control dispensers in public bathrooms, especially airports. Do they expect people to join the mile high club in today's airplanes' small bathrooms?
:20 Mattel is now making WWE toys. Vince has also forgiven the Denver Nuggets, or yet again forgot his random hatred against them, as WWE will return to their Pepsi Center on March 12. Kelly Kelly answers a random question with teddy bears, and tries to persuade us that she was a probable Olympic candidate before she "broke her ass". RD wants WWE to make resolutions to their storylines, which they won't do as it would actually make sense. A&E is making some show about Backyard Wrestling...hosted by Bob Saget. No, I don't know why either. RD makes fun of Blade some more, the poor man.
Steven in Sacramento's Question about Demolition (:38) devolves into talking about Domino's Pizza. As far as I can recall I don't think the Noid was their manager.
Jim Ross calls in to try and solve their TNA conundrum, (:45) but he's just there to talk more nonsense and read comments about some video of his. "You don't wanna suck, you wanna lick," he advises. Sadly Blade is too lazy to bring Sir Alec to help with the task.
:57 The two wonder who will be making surprise appearances at this week's Royal Rumble. Blade will always mark out for the Black Scorpion. Shane Helms and Chris Jericho were arrested in Kentucky near RD's old home for disorderly conduct and posted a $120 bond. Randy Orton received a 10-year contract as well as $600,000 for his terrible Wrestlemania match against Triple H.
 |
| Jericho and Helms were arrested for not being Southern enough. |
Seventeen quick syllables on the second most boring man in WWE (behind John Cena):
Ten years of Orton.
Fuck. Please wake me up in the
year twenty-twenty.
Minisode #165 NESonomics
by iggy
January 22, 2010
RD finally has something to say
Nintendo John debuts.
#peanut of death #general adulation
January 22, 2010
RD finally has something to say
Nintendo John debuts.
#peanut of death #general adulation
Random Thoughts From The Office, January 22, 2010
This Week in WCR History
1 Year Ago: One of the happiest days of 2009 as an angry Shane-o-Mac finally killed off Megatrolla. Now that's the Allspark
2 Years Ago: The debut of "What's on WWE 24/7". Which is now my personal number 3 on "Worst Segments in the history of Wrestlecrap Radio" (Behind Nintendo John and Fantasy Booking Island)
3 Years Ago: "I Have Something to Say" Version 1.0. The first time since Robocop that the first movie was actually better than the sequel. (I don't watch many movies, you can tell. Paul Verhoeven is a legend of Mike Check Status however)
4 Years Ago: Blade met Amy "Lita" Dumas at a car show, which sadly did NOT end with the two of them in the back of a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertable and SPEAKING OF beating off with Corn Oil, it's the early adventures of Don......Don Mason
First off if I could be Lance Storm for a moment (Sadly without giant dong), even if this is a one off, or it only lasts a month before I'm future endeavoured or even if by some fluke of time and space (Or a Vince Russo SHOCKING SWERVE~!) this actually ends up being perfect and fun for everyone. I want to thank Premier Blah for actually giving me the opportunity to write even this post on wrestlecrapradio.com. I know this is going to sound like I'm kissing his ass and believe me I'm not (That comes later and I'm sure it's just part of the "Initiation" for new members to the site), [I have a Initiation policy? - PB] but his recaps of the radio shows have given me a lot of laughs. It's an honor and a privilege to be here and being able to share some thoughts with the 12 listeners.
Okay now that that's out of the way let's kick-start the engine and get ready to jump the damn shark already.
For the most part I'll be popping up from time to time with random thoughts on wrestling or WrestleCrap radio or how much I hate Tom Brady, basically (and hopefully) once a week I'm just going to chime in with my random thoughts on things, as well as making smarky comments in Blah's recaps (I'm kidding.......as far as you know), some may be good, some may be bad, some will make you yearn to go to Fantasy Booking Island but I'll at least try and be entertaining.
This week though there's a couple of things I want to discuss, and since this is a site about the longest running episodic podcast in the history of planet Earth they're both to do with the show. First off I wanted to expand a little on an article I did for my audition to this site. In it I basically compared WrestleCrap Radio to Seinfeld, the infamous show about nothing and how a wrestling podcast without any wrestling could be so damn entertaining and a lot of that has to do with the hosts, RD and Blade - they're willing to try new things, be it a new segment or a new character or a story about their lives and the most important thing is they're not afraid to fail and believe me they have failed. (Who mentioned NERD?) But the thing I've always admired them for is very early on, they got their audience, you see so many radio progrems and so many podcasts fail that basic requirement and fall into the dust because they make the same mistake almost everyone makes, they assume they're better than the audience.
The thing that has always at least for me made WrestleCrap Radio so unique and so entertaining is that RD and Blade aren't afraid to be themselves. Hell, some of the best moments of the show's long and storied history are when Blade is either A) Drunk, B) Telling stories of his real life job (Ala the infamous trashbagging saga) or C) A combination of the two. But I think the moment it finally clicked happened before all this, the day that the story of "Ghetto Park Skeletor" was put to air was the day that WrestleCrap Radio came into existence, not that the show wasn't good before then, for the most part it was, but the day that story came to be was the day that you "saw behind the curtain" so to speak and it left you wanting more.
Nowadays WrestleCrap Radio is like a finely tuned machine, firing on all cylinders but the core belief still remains if I may quote one of the finest orators of our time, a man amongst men........The Slickster when he said "Honesty is the best policy" and it's a belief that has taken WCR into the stratosphere.
Which brings me to the one small problem they have: the inability to keep a TNA correspondent. Believe me I could spend another 20,000 words on TNA and the "New Era" of wrestling but I won't, I want this first offering to be mostly positive and I don't have random thoughts on TNA at the moment. I have pure psychotic hatreds and nothing good will ever come of that........but when you think about it, Johnny 4 was ahead of his time; sure he broke down and leaked and left parts all over the floor of WrestleCrap HQ but come on, wouldn't he be the perfect correspondent for this era of TNA, something that on the surface appears like it comes from 2001? Even broken into a million pieces by Mrs Deal, he's still one up on Nathaniel, but the problem is a vexing one as the co-hosts search for a new correspondent. There are so many people who have opinions on TNA nowadays. Just look at the forums, where do you start? Well fortunately for RD, Blade and hopefully you I've been thinking and drinking and I really need something to kick this post home to at least attempt to not have it look like 10,000 words of rambling.
The new TNA correspondent needs to be someone who has enough knowledge of the past to understand where Hogan and Bischoff are leading TNA while at the same time having a good enough demeanor to connect with the WrestleCrap Radio listeners and entertain them while informing them on the comings and goings of TNA. Most importantly of all the new TNA correspondent needs to be someone who needs the money so much they're willing to play the WrestleCrap Radio equivalent of Russian Roulette in a job where your career prospects are about six weeks. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks; who was a legend of the past, has had his adventures talked about in great length on WCR and has had numerous problems with money that has landed him in jail more than once? The choice for the next TNA correspondent is as easy and will prove to be as popular to the 12 listeners as the hiring of Mike Check was.
The new TNA Correspondent should be Ricky Morton.
Ricky would be able to tell us in five seconds why we should be excited the Nasty Boys are on Impact, Ricky could tell us why we shouldn't believe Jim Cornette when he bags TNA and even more importantly than TNA, Ricky could tell us just what fun was had with Robert Gibson's glass eye. That's worth more than any wisecracking robot or TNA obsessed nerd ever could.
Most importantly of all, we'd be giving back to a man that has provided us, the 12 Listeners with so much entertainment as the co-hosts told his exploits on WrestleCrap Radio, and the only man who could ever stop him from being the longest running TNA correspondent in history would be Stan Lane (As well as numerous authorities the next time one of his cheques bounces, but that's neither here nor there)
I expect to see this happen post haste on the next episode of WrestleCrap Radio.........or you can fire up the Seancetrolla and bring back Mike Check, either way I'm happy.
Clarence "Showstealer" Mason
1 Year Ago: One of the happiest days of 2009 as an angry Shane-o-Mac finally killed off Megatrolla. Now that's the Allspark
2 Years Ago: The debut of "What's on WWE 24/7". Which is now my personal number 3 on "Worst Segments in the history of Wrestlecrap Radio" (Behind Nintendo John and Fantasy Booking Island)
3 Years Ago: "I Have Something to Say" Version 1.0. The first time since Robocop that the first movie was actually better than the sequel. (I don't watch many movies, you can tell. Paul Verhoeven is a legend of Mike Check Status however)
4 Years Ago: Blade met Amy "Lita" Dumas at a car show, which sadly did NOT end with the two of them in the back of a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertable and SPEAKING OF beating off with Corn Oil, it's the early adventures of Don......Don Mason
First off if I could be Lance Storm for a moment (Sadly without giant dong), even if this is a one off, or it only lasts a month before I'm future endeavoured or even if by some fluke of time and space (Or a Vince Russo SHOCKING SWERVE~!) this actually ends up being perfect and fun for everyone. I want to thank Premier Blah for actually giving me the opportunity to write even this post on wrestlecrapradio.com. I know this is going to sound like I'm kissing his ass and believe me I'm not (That comes later and I'm sure it's just part of the "Initiation" for new members to the site), [I have a Initiation policy? - PB] but his recaps of the radio shows have given me a lot of laughs. It's an honor and a privilege to be here and being able to share some thoughts with the 12 listeners.
Okay now that that's out of the way let's kick-start the engine and get ready to jump the damn shark already.
For the most part I'll be popping up from time to time with random thoughts on wrestling or WrestleCrap radio or how much I hate Tom Brady, basically (and hopefully) once a week I'm just going to chime in with my random thoughts on things, as well as making smarky comments in Blah's recaps (I'm kidding.......as far as you know), some may be good, some may be bad, some will make you yearn to go to Fantasy Booking Island but I'll at least try and be entertaining.
This week though there's a couple of things I want to discuss, and since this is a site about the longest running episodic podcast in the history of planet Earth they're both to do with the show. First off I wanted to expand a little on an article I did for my audition to this site. In it I basically compared WrestleCrap Radio to Seinfeld, the infamous show about nothing and how a wrestling podcast without any wrestling could be so damn entertaining and a lot of that has to do with the hosts, RD and Blade - they're willing to try new things, be it a new segment or a new character or a story about their lives and the most important thing is they're not afraid to fail and believe me they have failed. (Who mentioned NERD?) But the thing I've always admired them for is very early on, they got their audience, you see so many radio progrems and so many podcasts fail that basic requirement and fall into the dust because they make the same mistake almost everyone makes, they assume they're better than the audience.
The thing that has always at least for me made WrestleCrap Radio so unique and so entertaining is that RD and Blade aren't afraid to be themselves. Hell, some of the best moments of the show's long and storied history are when Blade is either A) Drunk, B) Telling stories of his real life job (Ala the infamous trashbagging saga) or C) A combination of the two. But I think the moment it finally clicked happened before all this, the day that the story of "Ghetto Park Skeletor" was put to air was the day that WrestleCrap Radio came into existence, not that the show wasn't good before then, for the most part it was, but the day that story came to be was the day that you "saw behind the curtain" so to speak and it left you wanting more.
Nowadays WrestleCrap Radio is like a finely tuned machine, firing on all cylinders but the core belief still remains if I may quote one of the finest orators of our time, a man amongst men........The Slickster when he said "Honesty is the best policy" and it's a belief that has taken WCR into the stratosphere.
Which brings me to the one small problem they have: the inability to keep a TNA correspondent. Believe me I could spend another 20,000 words on TNA and the "New Era" of wrestling but I won't, I want this first offering to be mostly positive and I don't have random thoughts on TNA at the moment. I have pure psychotic hatreds and nothing good will ever come of that........but when you think about it, Johnny 4 was ahead of his time; sure he broke down and leaked and left parts all over the floor of WrestleCrap HQ but come on, wouldn't he be the perfect correspondent for this era of TNA, something that on the surface appears like it comes from 2001? Even broken into a million pieces by Mrs Deal, he's still one up on Nathaniel, but the problem is a vexing one as the co-hosts search for a new correspondent. There are so many people who have opinions on TNA nowadays. Just look at the forums, where do you start? Well fortunately for RD, Blade and hopefully you I've been thinking and drinking and I really need something to kick this post home to at least attempt to not have it look like 10,000 words of rambling.
The new TNA correspondent needs to be someone who has enough knowledge of the past to understand where Hogan and Bischoff are leading TNA while at the same time having a good enough demeanor to connect with the WrestleCrap Radio listeners and entertain them while informing them on the comings and goings of TNA. Most importantly of all the new TNA correspondent needs to be someone who needs the money so much they're willing to play the WrestleCrap Radio equivalent of Russian Roulette in a job where your career prospects are about six weeks. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks; who was a legend of the past, has had his adventures talked about in great length on WCR and has had numerous problems with money that has landed him in jail more than once? The choice for the next TNA correspondent is as easy and will prove to be as popular to the 12 listeners as the hiring of Mike Check was.
The new TNA Correspondent should be Ricky Morton.
Ricky would be able to tell us in five seconds why we should be excited the Nasty Boys are on Impact, Ricky could tell us why we shouldn't believe Jim Cornette when he bags TNA and even more importantly than TNA, Ricky could tell us just what fun was had with Robert Gibson's glass eye. That's worth more than any wisecracking robot or TNA obsessed nerd ever could.
Most importantly of all, we'd be giving back to a man that has provided us, the 12 Listeners with so much entertainment as the co-hosts told his exploits on WrestleCrap Radio, and the only man who could ever stop him from being the longest running TNA correspondent in history would be Stan Lane (As well as numerous authorities the next time one of his cheques bounces, but that's neither here nor there)
I expect to see this happen post haste on the next episode of WrestleCrap Radio.........or you can fire up the Seancetrolla and bring back Mike Check, either way I'm happy.
Clarence "Showstealer" Mason