264 Rogue Two: December 23, 2016

Comes with "magic wand" as illustrated.
92 minutes

Blade already forgot what he wanted to say. He did remember when they opened presents after Christmas on their old show. He is once more recording from his bed. RD calls him the Tiny Tim/Blade to his Bob Crotchet. Blade threatens to fall asleep on air.

To get it out of the way the duo follow that hallowed Christmas tradition of debating about Star Wars. (:05) Blade fell asleep while watching Rogue One: A Star Wars (Christmas) Story, though due to his fatigue from overwork rather than Darth Vader choking him into unconsciousness (and not the drink for once, surprisingly).

RD: "Wait woah woah woah woah woah woah wait a minute, woah, time out. I want to make sure I'm following this. You went to drink before you go to the movies because doing such makes you feel like a kid again. So you went and saw the original Star Wars movies drunk? As a child?"

Blade ranks the movie and "Video Game Peter Cushing" below Episodes IV - VII  and higher than Ewok Adventure if that's any indicator of quality, at a similar level to RD. HE also fell asleep initially, though out of waiting boredom on his part. I also agree with them too on their opinion. So there then, that's settled. Yes, for once.

(Someone should really make ordered listings of our favorite Star Wars movies, now that I think about it.)

Blade wants the Browns to go 0-16 (just two more losses as of this writing!), which combined with their preseason 0-4 will beat the legendarily bad 0-16 2008 Lions. (:15) This inspired football commentary almost puts RD to sleep once again before he can shill his site's Black Friday in December special.

Speaking of Black Friday RD is ready to regale the 12 Listeners with tales of things that happened a month ago. (:18) At Target, a guy in a line smelled of mothballs and almost blinded him. Blade enjoys going to Target for their tan pants. A woman in the toys section complained "I ain't paying $80 for Chewbacca! I want Yoda! The one with the magic wand!"

Little Debbie has some delicious treats for the holidays as per tradition. One of them is the Egg Nog Cake Roll which RD is trying despite it being a couple of weeks expired. Needless to say it doesn't go down well with him. (:31) Mike Check is drawn in by it (:37) and by his time in Santa Claus, Indiana's, WRUD Rudolf 1225 AM as Billy "Egg" Nog who together with his lady of the day Candy Throat did the Egg Nog Down Your Throat In The Morning. He's so old he repeat plays a Dolly Parton song he previously did once before. Yes, I remember such random things as this, and I have no idea how good or bad that is. I wonder if I can put it on a resume.

Davey Boy Smith Jr. had a tonsillectomy. RD has to look up and explain to Blade what tonsils are. (:43)

Jesse Godderz and Victoria are on some Amazon Prime show, but you shouldn't get a subscription just/only to watch that. Instead check out The Grand Tour. While an excellent show in its own right regardless of how much you may like automobiles or not, they have a parody segment related to their old show on Top Gear that REEKS of WWCR (which as we just found out smells like mothballs). They bring celebrities on the show supposedly to do racing segments with, only for them to have 'deadly accidents' on the way to the traveling studio tent, causing trio-host James May to ask "Does that mean he's not coming on the show then?" Such a thing isn't everyone's cup of tea of course, but to a perverse and scarred Listener of such things on this here radio progrem I can't help but always be intrigued by what will happen this week.

Mickie James is returning to the main WWE roster. (:48) Blade had to pass up another opportunity to see her perform nearby.

Paige and Alberto Del Rio got into a random scuffle about bad touches down in Mexico with a luchador who uses a bad shortening of Raphael (Rafy). (:51) Meanwhile they have a new Mexican restaurant (!) which isn't doing so well. But of course. RD reads a customer review on it. Blade's friend had a "H Beef K" sandwich with Shawn Michaels' involvement.

Derek Quinn of the Powerhouse of Sound DJ Service (2) asks them about the worst Christmas song. Sadly Mike Check does not return to give his thoughts. (:59) They use it as an excuse to play that Twelve Days Of Christmas song of theirs again once more. Padding? You don't say! ( - :70)

RD thanks friend James Weck for sending him some doughnuts from Anaheim.

Jordan Mishkin sent them some old wrestling videos among other DVDs. He also sent Blade some Cape Cod kettle chips which he tries to his liking. Erik Majorwitz sent RD a 20 year old Tam/my Bend-Em figure, poor guy. Paul Kraft also gave him an "unexplainable" "The Original LightBowl" to stick inside a toilet seat to light it up to prevent falling inside one.

Meanwhile I had sent them both yet another timely ZZ Top album. I think one more gets me Billy Gibbons' beard for free. (:81) RD plays Sleeping Bag and Velcro Fly for old times' sake, and I am now self persuaded to buy a copy for myself.

RD sent Blade a T-shirt with Bossk on it and a Jim Wynorski movie signed by the man himself and starring Traci Lords. (:86)

Sad News: Blade either forgot or was delayed or was too broke to send RD a gift. He punishes Blade by saying this week's Haiku (probably because Blade either forgot or was delayed or was too broke to write one):
Blade sent no present.
You know what? That is OK.
No Fun with Tammy.

Blade threatens his Big Announcement some more in response.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 
  • Christmas
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. WrestleCrap.com, Donut Star, James, Erik Majorwitz, ZZ Top
  • URLs not taken: 1. Iliketanpants.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 0.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Playing Velcro Fly by ZZ Top
  
  • Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse:  Tired due to only having one day off since Halloween.  
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 15. CS John Kelly, Jim, Gay Popeye, Satan, Sir Alec, Dixie Carter, Stubby, Nintendo John, Mike Check, Midnight Rose, BM Punk, RD, Blade, R2-D2, C-3PO.
 
  • F-Bombs: 8. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 5
  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Robot Reindeer Laughs:  2
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
    • Station/Market:  WRUD The RUDOLPH 1225 AM (Santa Claus, Indiana)
    • Radio Call Sign:  Billy “Egg” Nog
    • Partner: Candy Throat
    • Show:  Egg Nog Down Your Throat in the Morning
    • Song:  "Hard Candy Christmas" by Dolly Parton
 
  • Question of the Week from: Derek Quinn (2)
    • What is the worst Christmas song? Any version of Santa Baby (RD) or Hard Candy Christmas (Blade)
 
Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: RD fills in since Blade forgot to mail him a present:
Blade sent no present.
You know what? That is OK.
No Fun with Tammy.

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #130: Mega X-Mas!

For the six of you who probably paid attention to the debacle that is The Mike Check Show's Halloween Hootenanny back in October, the undead Zombie version of Nathaniel was once again killed off by "Broken" Matt Hardy's drone; 'Vanguard One' after it carried a pair of audio speakers onto Mike's doorstep to play the song "Halloween Spooks" (yes, the sound of that song along with "Monster Mash" will kill Zombies by making their heads explode "Mars Attacks style", apparently?).

In the days before being resurrected as a Zombie in wrestlecrapradio.com's "expanded universe", Nathaniel Edward Rodham Davis (aka N.E.R.D) was one of Wrestlecrap Radio's TNA correspondents who would constantly annoy RD and Blade with his over-the-top TNA fandom. He was originally killed off during WCR Christmas Episode #130 on December 19, 2008 by another 'drone', The Megatrolla, that was sent to him as a gift from 'The Trolla Corporation'.

...And you can relive that moment along with; Don and the dwarf, Crown Royal and Egg Nog and Angry Jim recording his Christmas album, right here:



And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!


AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM US AT WRESTLECRAPRADIO.COM!


WCR Video: Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips (w/ The Original Footage)

Back in the 1980s on WWFE Television, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper gave a special Public Service Announcement where he provided some safety tips for the "bunches of" kids wanting to go trick or treating on Halloween. (Credit goes to John Gjoni for originally uploading this video on Facebook).


Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips (1989) Uploaded by RVM Kai


And ONCE AGAIN, this Halloween, here's the clip of RD and Blade, from Wrestlecrap Radio (episode #081: October 26, 2007), doing commentary on Hot Rod's Halloween Tips:


(Video by J Freek)


Oh, and don't forget to listen to Piper's updated Tips from 2011 (from WCR #201: October 28, 2011):


(Video by R.V.M Kai)

So from Wrestlecrapraio.com, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN, say "Please and Thank Ya"...and watch out for "Idiots In Cars"!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

263 Headless Centaur: October 27, 2016

Uncle Boo needs that
extra spoonful.
71 minutes

Blade is the ECW Zombie (RIP) to RD's WCW Phantom (also RIP). The former talked to their 'producers' who 'told him' to turn down his mic volume to once again become Jazz Overnight, much to the latter's delight.

RD then abruptly receives a 'certified letter' from the Trolla Corporation. Yes, an actual mailed letter. Recent budget cuts you see. (:05) They are recalling their (one) HorseTrolla 'notification device' due to mythical centaur related concerns. He doesn't believe them; they still need to do some shenanigans since April Fools after all! (Yeah that wasn't an April Fool's Joke. I had Chris Engler send that letter. I mean we did create Zombie Nathaniel. --Raging_Demons) So when it neighs up it sounds slower and fails to deliver any news. Wait, is it a news machine or a breaking down car? Of course RD dismisses the whole thing as mere happenstance, even as he tempts fate throughout by running it every now and then.

Blade: "Are we going to get on with the episode now or what?"

Then he breaks into laughter. (:11) RD then has to explain to him the concept of soaping.

RD self-shills for donations with his Nathaniel impression. Help a brother or two out? (:14) Blade repeats his idea of a pledge drive/telethon with his Stubby impression. Raging_Demons does his part to shill for this here website with his Premier Blah impression. ("I'm officially the voice of Halloween! Also if I knew I was going to be used again I would had updated it with this year's "Halloween Hootenanny on The Mike Check Show where Mike & his daughter have to survive the horror that is...Zombie Nathaniel!" --Raging_Demons)(:19) The eternal Roddy Piper provides his ever useful Halloween safety tips in his Nada impression.

Blade has yet to find some Captain Crunch Halloween Cereal, much to RD's shock. (:21) Blade wishes him a Merry Christmas, as many people preemptively do in October. As this is an election year Monster Cereals allow people to vote on their mascots. Sadly, his Boo Berry is as of this writing currently taking a huge beating from Count Chocula (though at least independent candidate Franken Berry is not posing any challenge to them both, only having Montana and its state population of 5 people to his name.). The duo agree Piper should get his own special Halloween "Please and Thank Ya" trading cards.

The FaxTrolla is still working to RD's pride. Blade wants to run cliffhangers that have no chance in Hades of working. (:33) WWE is promoting TMNT figure variations of their wrestlers superstars. RD is flabbergasted that people would want to spend $15 on them instead of supporting their site. WWE also runs some sort of 'hilarity' using zombified versions of their wre - superstars on their page using jokes from the 90's WWF magazine. RD does his Crickets impression.

RD advises Blade not to send him any Tamm related gifts. RD then has to explain to him (again) the concept of soaping. (:41) Sad News: she's in jail "forever" according to Blade's insights. RD uses it as an excuse to no longer talk about her or listen to Debbie Reynolds sing about her.

Not to be outdone, Blade uses some bad MIDI (which sounds even worse than the standard fare) to talk about Paige. RD's disgust makes Blade break into laughter. (:46) The week prior she had proposed to Alberto Del Rio in the middle of the ring. Blade compares his bad indie wrestling gimmicks to RD's bad indie wrestling gimmicks.

For some reason (and not because it's on the itinerary) Blade persuades RD to call up Jim who also seasons greetings them. (:53) He's doing all the holidays at once to save time and money. Sadly he no longer has his UWF Haunted House running. RD's laughter breaking causes Jim to also laughter break. Bob Caudle messed something up which Jim has to handle, among so many other things going wrong in his life (like hiring an extremely old man as his sole employee).

ECW Press is again wanting RD to write The Death Of TNA, and with the further shenanigans it's going through yet again and once more, he thinks of the 'wrestling' company as the perfect horror movie villain. Just when you think they're down and out they get right back up!...although in their case it's a movie villain no one wants to see. Even more than that time Jason Voorhees went into space to reenact a bad Alien rip-off. (:62)

Piper once more tells Blade to send your poisoned and razor bladed treats to Vince McMahon to transform him into Moolah. (:66)

*Play for full effect.*
Mickie James (now on NXT) confuses Blade with her appearance. This time (of course) the HorseTrolla comes to life and roves around the place (instead of floating like an apparition SHOULD be doing) wrecking havoc like a low rent Thin Man's sphere. That or RD is also playing a Shin Megami Tensei/Persona game for the first time and was caught off-guard by the series' notorious difficulty.

So here we go, Seventeen Syllables:
RD is now dead.
I did not know he was sick.
Headless HorseTrolla.

Then Blade breaks into laughter.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right  
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Halloween
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 6. Trolla Corp, WrestleCrap.com, WrestleCrapRadio.com, Mike Check Show, Christmas at the Skyline Theater, Atomic Cotton T-Shirts
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Mickie James
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 5. Mysterious Delivery Man, Mysterious WCR Shill Guy, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Bill Cosby, Jim

 

  • F-Bombs: 1. Jim
 
  • Blade Time Outs:  3 (1 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs:  1
  • Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 7
  • You're Hurtin' Me, Randy!: 1
 
  • Question of the Week from: N/A

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Entertain the folks Blade:
    RD is now dead.
    I did not know he was sick.
    Headless HorseTrolla.

262 Shoot: October 21, 2016

It all began as a wrestling podcast
11 years ago, but...(see above)
95 minutes

This radio progrem is 11 years old. This explains why the two are commemorating it two months late. Blade already thinks of things as a train wreck.

Blade had to conduct early recordings laying on the floor because of his bad phone and NOT because he was too cheap to buy any proper furniture. (:04) He does his "worst" RD impression.

RD has already forgotten that they originally started the show due to their taking over Get In The Ring Radio and killing it off. (:09) Blade was expecting him not to remember it, as he may do many things in the past. RD confirms it.

RD remembers his old shillings. (:11) He reveals he's got good old Greg (formerly of globalinternet.net) to help him maintain his Archives. This derails into them talking about Oz when he was Great and Powerful...and when he was played by James Franco. This derails into Blade worrying things will take six "freaking" hours long. This derails into ME shilling worryingly into how things would take six freaking hours long. Everything is connected! (:17)

RD gives more heck to Blade's Big Announcement using the Apple Newton. They should bring it back as a "special edition" of the iPad and restore their flagging sales. (:20) Blade 'promises' to Big Announce it...next year. Unless he is no longer with us and is sick (which can happen with his shenanigans so it's not unlikely!) so he's already told RD in case as a backup plan.

Blade has returned to his standby Miller Lite and V8. RD has already forgotten about that too, and I don't blame him. (:23) Blade would fall asleep while holding it so he tried Budd Light with Mott's Clamato to see if that would make any difference.

RD makes fun of Blade for wanting to speed up the show before he slows things down by rambling on. (:28) SPEAKING OF Robert Gibson's glass eye, he's been watching a lot of him lately which gives him the ability to do a Robert Gibson impression. He showcases it to Blade's laughter.

Through his sister Don gave Blade some more chips to eat because Don is unable to. (:31) This time he's having Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Potato Chips with reduced fat which taste pretty good, even if they have expired in July.

RD: "You can't 'time out' the Faxtrolla! What is wrong with you?" (:34)

Believe it or not, this has no relation to that other
70s rabbit-based fiasco, Night of the Lepus.
RD once saw Rabbit Test at a drive in. (:39) What an age that was back in the 70s, when a film with the on screen debuts of Billy Crystal and Michael Keaton and directed by Joan Rivers (the only movie she ever directed in fact) could coalesce into something of an obscure and oft forgotten fiasco. Yes, even more than THIS show.

Anonymous Brooke has given birth (to a child and not a donkey to Blade's relief). RD notes how the radio progrem has lasted longer than Xtreme Xpose.

Blade: "I'm too tired for these jokes."
RD: "So is everyone listening but we all have to suffer through."

Mickie James is going to NXT much to Blade's happiness. (:48) RD shills then calls Diamond Dan's Hotline. For some reason it doesn't work. But if it DOES work you can always reach him at 317 335 4688. Again, that's 317 335 HOTT.

Blade makes a randomly obscure joke about Mickie in connection to horse meat.

In place of answering a Question (and having to pay shipping for sending off a winning prize) RD mispronounces some names off Facebook as he reads some of their favorite show memories and their congratulations. (:55) Blade remembers guests they've had on the show including the dearly departed John Thomas, and Bill Brown as Dennis Stamp. RD fondly remembers the also dearly departed John Tenta, and his friendship with Blade over the years. He also remarks that while Vince Russo was terrible in the industry he is nonetheless a good friend of his all the same. Blade still enjoys their six freaking hours long show featuring a meat pinata.

RD originally wanted to record their (actually and even funnier) regular phone conversations for the RD & Blade Show, but was limited to do so by how bad the sound quality would be. (:65) The Duo feel forced (coerced?) to apologize for them. Blade recounts how they had to record something for Black Friday a month before they did the actual show proper. As the show was becoming more and more like the old progrem Blade felt there was a tipping point, certainly around the show's 250th, that they might as well just call a progrem a progrem and return back to WWCR. RD responds with a muffled Blade impression. At least it's better than the earlier reversed one.

:69 The Duo finally agree on liking Becky Lynch. However RD is bothered by Sasha Banks' forehead, or "fivehead" as he calls it. Comparisons to Dark Journey's own summons Jim and distractedly causes Blade to break into laughter. (:75) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him angry and calling in to the show. He finally manages to tell them to go fuck themselves after a year of holding it in (and possibly damaging his prostrate in the process).

Iron Mark Tyson also calls in and distractedly causes Blade to break into laughter. (:79) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him confused and calling in to the show. His remark on how he thinks bees had stung his tongue distractedly causes RD to break into laughter.

Stubby also calls in (without his theme music or audience for some reason) and distractedly causes RD and Blade to break into laughter. (:82) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him stiff and wooden and calling in to the show. For all the good that led him into.

Sir Alec also calls in (without his theme music or audience for some reason). (:85) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when Blade once did his first mention of him which ended up with him being "found" by Blade and calling in to the show. He admits on behalf of Blade that Ellie was named after the character from Halloween III. Good Lord, lad.

Mike Check also calls in (without his theme music for some reason). (:88) RD plays some bad MIDI of "Memories" for him as he remembers when RD once did his first mention of him which ended up with him being wild for Taylor Wilde and calling in to the show. Sadly for him RD intercepts him with the Radio Quartet and their Haiku music before he can reminisce more about his days on and in the radio markets (and its female workers).

Blade: "How would we have ended the show every week without this?"
RD: "Horribly."
...
RD: "This is why the shows last so long."
Blade: "Now I'm really messed up."

Seventeen Syllables:
Eleven long years.
It all began with a dream.
It ended at Maude.

RD: "Smiles, everyone. Smiles!"
Blade is laughing too much to continue the charade beyond that. For shame. For shame, boss.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right  
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
 
 
 
  • 11th Anniversary
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 17. WrestleCrap.com, Greg O, WrestleCrapRadio.com, Premier Blah, Earl Campbell’s sausage, Iggy, Raging Demons, Gooker Kai, Clarence Mason, B. Alvarez, Skyline Drive In Movie Theater, Skycade, Drive In Movie Maniacs, RetroTV, Daveys Uptown, Diamond Dan’s Hot Line, Aldis
  • URLs not taken: 2. NakedTummy.com, BeckyLynchusingDorothyLynch.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Robert Gibson’s glass eye
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Bea Arthur
  
  • Blade’s Poor Performance Excuse:  Lack of sleep. 
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 7. Diamond Dan (attempted), Jim, Mark Tyson, Stubby, Sir Alec Heineken, Mike Check, Mr. Rourke, Tattoo
 
  • F-Bombs: 1. Jim
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 9 (1 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs: 4
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
  • Weird Al Laughs:  1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  • Cricket Chirps:  6
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  • Over the Top Dad!:  1
  • Over the Top Mom!:  1

  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
    • Station/Market:  N/A
    • Radio Call Sign:  N/A
    • Partner: N/A
    • Show:  N/A
    • Song:  N/A by Johann and the Boys
 
  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: All good things start with an idea:
    Eleven long years.
    It all began with a dream.
    It ended at Maude.