Episode 21: Holy Jeepers!: December 26, 2021

The Penguin Goes Straight
March 23, 1966
"The Penguin seems to have gone legit, but the Dynamic Duo suspects otherwise."
77 minutes

"RD is Jollier Than Alfred" by how he's wearing his Santa hat's beard over his face like a mask (certified HOHOHO95). Vince was confused by a video he had sent in which he and the family threw stockings with hot sauce bottles from their windows, an old family tradition. 

At a theater's matinee the performers go for a "refreshing orange drink." (:06) Vince wonders if it was Tang. The Penguin is there for "a penetrating documentary of our times" on morality. Suddenly a masked man appears to steal a woman's necklace. Penguin stops his gunfire with his bulletproof umbrella ("JUMPIN' JEEPERS! A bulletproof umbrella!") and punches him out with a "POW!" graphic like he was Batman. RD makes a "big igloo/orange drink" circle for the camera to show the woman's ecstatic reaction.

Cut to Police HQ where Gordon is surprised that "the waddling pompous of fowl play" prevented a crime of the necklace being stolen, belonging to one Sophia Starr. RD's mind goes places for some reason. Despite the Penguin not doing anything criminal Gordon still calls Batman anyway. 

Even weirder is Alfred's reaction when he answers the phone, sighing at the utter incompetence once again displayed by the police. "Alright Commissioner, I'll go fetch him for ya!" he sighs. (:13) Vince wonders if he was up for contract extensions. Bruce and Dick are practicing putting with braless Aunt Harriet when Alfred finds them and actually tries to be subtle with the call from "Mr. K. Rhyme" that is so obvious even Harriet picks up on it. 

Batman talks to Gordon with some indecipherable words that the two try to untangle. They go down the Batpole - just to talk more to Gordon in the Batmobile's Batphone. This could probably be because again, no crime was actually committed to meet to investigate. 

They thus decide to interrogate the arrested thief to see if he is actually one of Penguin's men. RD attempts to recreate the interrogation room with a desk lamp. The crook thinks they "read too many comic books." O'Hara threatens to punch him. Gordon calls him a "cheap hoodlum" and a "hard boiled cookie covered with armored plate icing". They then turn down the lights to project Batman's fluttering shadow. The crook responds by running into a wall knocking himself out. 

Vince disowned his sister for eating boiled peanuts and clogging toilet bowls. 

Meanwhile the Penguin is at the New Blood Millionaire's Club's steam room, where he saves a kidnapping victim named Richie Reggie Rich with the help of his unconvincing henchmen Eagle-Eye and Dove. (:28) He then pops his head up in between the Duo to eavesdrop. Batman: "You pompous talking creature!" Penguin declares he will safeguard Sofia's jewelry on behalf of Penguin Protective Agency Incorporated. The Duo reposition to the Batmobile to plan for Alfred to swap the jewels for traceable radioactive fakes. 

In the Penguin's lair the camera remains straight instead of Dutch angled, where he refuses Rich's reward for saving him. Well he IS a billionaire, he doesn't need the money. The henchmen complain on not being paid so he has to whack them over the head with the umbrella. 

Cut to Starr's penthouse. Narrator: "Plot and counter-plot: here's Alfred carrying out a risky chore under the guise of a man from Floyd's of Dublin Insurance Unlimited!" (:35) Alfred takes photos of the jewels but the Narrator yells at him that he didn't yet switch the cigarette holders for the anti-theft system that triggers. Vince thinks the Penguin has an alarm buzzer in his umbrella. RD remembers when this happened already with Penguin earlier in the year. Alfred escapes despite the Co-Bros wanting him to be angry that he was almost set up and done for. Instead he fears he did bad despite the Duo's reassurance. 

The Duo then drive the Batmobile at night, a rare occurrence on the show, to Starr's penthouse. Climbing up a wall Robin has worries so Batman wonders if he tied his shoes properly. Yet when inside and using Batman's stethoscope they run into the henchmen, causing a fight. Sofia calls a paper to run the headline "Crime Fighter Penguin Foils Dynamic Duo Jewel Heist!" (:42) Gordon is angry at the paper as Penguin calls him while eating a can of sardines, informing him of a police fundraiser at the Gotham City Amusement Pier. Gordon: "You abominable avian!" He informs the Duo in the Batmobile, and also if they show up they will be arrested. 

Robin: "Batman and I have an awful thought. What if Penguin really has gone straight?"
RD: "How would that be awful? Don't you want him to become a good guy? Don't you want him to not be terrible?"

At the Pier one of the "attractions" is a nightmare animatronic monkey with moving eyes. Another is a nightmare animatronic clown with moving eyes. Isn't that a Joker thing? 

Before the Duo could find more scares a cement filled umbrella traps them. Some henchmen hang their seven feet tall stunt doubles up behind a pop gun game. However Penguin has replaced the pellets with actual bullets, and he offers $1,000 to the visiting police to shoot the balloons and behind them - the Duo. RD expects the police to miss anyway since they're terrible at the rest of their jobs. Narrator: "Good grief! And good night! Double funeral tomorrow?"

RD tells Vince about the ordeal of inducting The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas. Vince: "Interesting." (:52)

RD then gets around to Vince's gift. (:57) He joked that knowing Russo Swerves he expected it to be empty. Instead he first finds garbage bags. Then the gift has another address on it. Then he has to break through the hermetic seal. Inside is Batman '66 meets The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (RD pretends he doesn't know it) and a '66 style Lego Batmobile.

Vince's father still plays softball at 91 years old.

With the concept of RD and Vince being friends and exchanging gifts, the two remind to be good, courteous, and serving to others, regardless of occasion or religion. After all, some things will not matter in death. (:69 - end)

• Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [2] (Burgess Meredith) [2]
  

• Outdated references: 1. Rex Reed
  
• Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Horrifying

What If...Corporal Kirchner really was dead?

https://cultaholic.com/posts/former-wwe-star-corporal-kirchner-passes-away

I can't believe it was 15 years ago when he was (first) declared dead, and he had to prove he was still alive by "calling" WWCR and "shooting" the Co-Hossses through the phone.

Also here is another appearance where he plays a car for some reason.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends during this trying time.

 

Episode 20: Holy Split!: December 19, 2021

Better Luck Next Time
March 17, 1966
"Batman evades the attacking tiger thanks to his utility belt. First, he scales the wall. Then, he uses a sonic device "to split the tiger's skull," as narrator William Dozier informs us. The hero still has to free Robin, who is facing a separate death trap. Once that task is completed, the Dynamic Duo are back on Catwoman's trail. It turns out the feline villain is after the lost treasure of Captain Manx, which is in a remote spot outside of Gotham City."
64 minutes

"RD is Not Middle Aged Robin" on The Batman's Mustache. He's wearing his Santa hat including fake hair. He actually beat a few kids at the Arcade. He advises Vince not to get The Simpsons arcade machine due to poor emulation. 

The recapping Narrator is more involved this time, even if he has a random "open sesame": "IS THIS TRIP NECESSARY?" (:05) Vince is baffled by their use of stunt doubles just to walk into room. RD shows "Batman" played by the on-set tiger wrangler having a beard and belly and sweat stains.

Catwoman is wearing rather baggy clothing making RD wonder if she "filled" them. Young RD once went to the Smithsonian where this particular outfit is displayed. Vince: "Interesting." "Batman" has great fun playing with Tinkerbell the tiger like a pet dog. Then he climbs the bare concrete/dry wall with a visible wired harness Batclaws. Catwoman: "TTFN!" Batman has no idea what she means. Vince kept writing that in his work. 

Batman then gets out his Batearplugs that fit over the cowl to technobabble his Batcommunicator to 20,000 decibels to "split the tiger's skull", despite telling Catwoman that "pets are our responsibility". Thankfully the tiger instead decides to take a nap. 

Batman then goes down into the Catacombs using very bright Batstickers as breadcrumbs. Catwoman has drugged Robin with yet more powder. All of a sudden she has a third henchman without a name (Fire Emblem or otherwise) take him down into their real life Mouse Trap game board over another tiger pit. Narrator: "What now Caped Crusader? Is it a cul-de-sac?" (:25) Robin is listed as weighing 132 pounds and 10 ounces, which I think is 10 kilograms. "Catwoman, you are NOT a nice person!" She responds by leaving without bothering to wait around. Robin waits for Batman to swinging through a very small window before they jump off to safety and their stunt doubles fighting for them, featuring comb-over senior-aged Robin. The goons respond by lighting the room on fire. Felix escapes leaving Leo and Henchman to be arrested.

At the Batcave calling police HQ Gordon asks Batman to do his job for him while Robin acts as intermediary. Gordon staring at the camera: "Good luck to all of us!" Discovering the statues are not identical Batman goes to the Bat Research Shelf with his four volumes on the history of Gotham City. He knows Captain Manx willed his loot to the City except for "one gold doubloon". He finds the statues contain a map leading to his treasure. They then radioactive track her after throwing the statues into the "lead shielded compartment" (i.e. trunk) of the Batmobile.

Catwoman has already found the loot with Felix in a non-Batcave. "From now on: pussy willows galore." The Batmobile drives through mines that blow out the tires that require turning on the Automatic Tire Repair Device to reinflate. They then see footprints. "Only one man has feet that big!" 

Catwoman drugs Felix before taking off, the Duo chasing her and her stunt double. She has trouble climbing up a wall with one hand carrying the treasure and the other without any claws of her own. Not listening to Batman offering help she falls into a "bottomless pit" as Robin calls out to her. Vince is reminded of Shane. RD is reminded of Indiana Jones trying to save Elsa with the Holy Grail. They only find a cat, emblematic of a cat's nine lives. 

Back at Stately Wayne Manor they return to their 4D 3D chess. RD is the one to notice braless Aunt Harriet complaining about a cat stealing their lobster dinner. She hands it to Bruce who hands it to Alfred who hands it to Robin to vanish into the aether. 

RD found Julie Newmar couldn't appear in the movie because she was filming a movie of her own that was never finished. She couldn't appear in Season 3 due to "scheduling" in a Western, but that is suspect since it also starred Burgess Meredith. 

RD has Blade Vince open up his presents. (:52) One is Cincinnati Recipe chili mix. Another is a Newmar as Catwoman framed photo signed to Vince. 

RD has to explain Cody Rhodes almost using a different tunnel to Vince. (:61) Vince gives him boos for not getting a joke.

 

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman (Julie Newmar)

• Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Some setup, things worse than 3D chess
  

 

Round Five - A Christmas Carol: December 16, 2021

52 minutes

"Santa Deal is Coming to Town". He uses the excuse to play the old dogs barking Jingle Bells. "DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!" Vince played it constantly as a kid. He gives RD applause for the same. Their wives don't celebrate Christmas as much as they do. The men also have the lights on only at night. Vince gives more applause. 

As is the season, the two will debate Christmas songs. 

• Young RD was captivated by the Time-Life Treasury of Christmas ads until he remembered he could buy it at 24. (:09)
• Vince cannot get enough of Faith Hill's Where Are You Christmas despite being from The Grinch. RD reminds Vince of the movie's awfulness. 
• Christmas Mariah Carey makes RD think of his wife. Vince gives him applause. His second would be White Christmas. He has yet to find a good version to his liking of What Child Is This. Vince doesn't like it in general.
  
• He believes his Patreons would know Danny Kaye from Christmas Vacation. 
• He shows Vince his older brother in a Griswold sweater putting up his decorations. Vince doubts its veracity at first. (:19)
• Vince's second is John Lennon's War Is Over. He remembers when it was sung on SNL with Sean Lennon on guitar.
  
• He pulls up a Christmas sketch from 2000 SNL for RD to stare too close to the screen at. (:25)
• As for hated songs, RD's is Santa Baby. Vince pulls up Eartha Kitt's cover to try and change his mind. RD responds with Cyndi Lauper and Rosie. Vince: "Catchy tune, man."
• Young RD would also trick his stepmother by looping The Night Before Christmas.
• Vince only loves Baby It's Cold Outside if sung by Dean Martin. RD doesn't mind it by Sammy Davis Jr and Carmen McRae. (:34) One version had two children singing it which appalled him. 
• RD has Vince search for Jillian Hall which he does without spaces.
• Vince loves Christmas in Colorado in song and living form. 
• If he only had one LP RD would stick with Bing Crosby. Vince would be John Lennon (without the Muppets). 
• Mrs. Deal likes Elton John's Step Into Christmas like Vince. (:43) He has difficulty pulling it up for some reason.
• RD wants to know what a Hard Candy Christmas is. Vince doesn't know either. 

Vince had a tough time getting all the family together in the one place. RD believes with hope that his son will never leave the house.  Last year they had the Christmas congregation outside in the cold. "My brother lives on a farm, I don't."

Episode 19: Holy Reshevsky!: December 12, 2021

The Purr-fect Crime
March 16, 1966
"Catwoman initiates a series of thefts that cause Commissioner Gordon to summon Batman and Robin. But the importance of the crimes go beyond the taking of the objects involved. The Dynamic Duo eventually find Catwoman's lair. But Robin is whisked away while Batman is given a choice between two doors. If he picks the right door, he'll find Catwoman. If he picks the wrong one, he'll face certain doom. The hero makes the wrong selection and is about to be attacked by a tiger."
74 minutes

"RD: Smitten with the Kitten". He warned his wife he was going to discuss "the one and only" Catwoman. Vince wonders about his "devious" look. RD is going to make him wait on talking about the different actors despite their not wanting them changed in the first place. Mrs. Deal wanted them to Batpole rate the men. RD asked her to rate whoever will appear next. 

At midnight at "Museum" (for Gotham City Art) (:10), a guard is assaulted by a house cat and a clawed hand makes a circular hole in glass to steal a golden cat statue. 

Cycle to Police HQ where Gordon and O'Hara are confused by the theft. Bonnie, Gordon's secretary, gets -2 then -3 Batpoles from Vince because she shares screen time with Catwoman. RD gives her a more normal 6: "I don't even know what to say to that." She gives Gordon a gift kitten from the "oddest looking man" because..."I don't know." Gordon is immediately enamored by it. There's also a newspaper clipping of "multi-millionaire" Mark Andrews who had been robbed of the statue. RD wonders if he is richer than Bruce. Gordon: "I smell the tracks of a feline predator!"

Cycle to Stately Wayne Manor where Bruce is beating Dick at 4-D chess. "It's quite rudimentary, Dick. You just have to think 14 moves ahead, that's all!" Dick: "Holy Reshevsky! I think I'll stick to my Latin crossword puzzles!" Alfred loudly declares "PHONE SIR!" "NO BRA THIS WEEK." Vince handwrote about Aunt Harriet. RD wonders why she can't hear the Batphone. 

The Duo then come to Police HQ. Batman: "I am sure this is just the first stitch in a large tapestry of crime!" He summons Mark by asking about him where he says a second statue is at another exhibition for insurance. Vince reveals that for a time following common corporate and political practice, the McMahons would never travel together. O'Hara offers Batman backup policemen for some reason. Batman: "I don't want to cast any aspersions on the police department, but I think this time it's better Robin and I go it alone. Any large contingent of police officers might create unnecessary confusion." RD: "In other words, you guys suck." 

As they prepare to leave, Batman notices Robin has not buckled his "safety Batbelt". "It won't be long until you're old enough to get a drivers license, Robin. Then you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other vehicles. Remember: motorist safety." RD wonders if he will want to drive anything else besides the Batmobile. He had to install seatbelts on his first car. 16 year old Vince once hit a parked car while changing his 8-track and told his parents he hit ice. 

A blue van is seen in front of the Gato & Chat Fur Company where slowly revealed Catwoman resides with her complaining henchmen Leo and Felix. (:29) Julie Newmar breaks RD's Batpole completely (ahem) like Charro by getting 28 then 38 then 48 then 58 then 69. Vince gives her a more reasonable 10. She reads a book on "the lost treasures of Captain Manx" in the "dark years" of Gotham City before it became...a criminal hotbed.

In the Batcave a distraught looking Batman tells Alfred he's found out it was the Catwoman behind the theft. Alfred: "Will she ever learn?" They have to refuel the Batmobile by sticking a tube into the exhaust while Batman puts gloves on top of his gloves to make a radioactive tracking spray for the Bat-o-meter. RD prefers that to the same old boring bugs. 

At the Exhibition the Duo go to buy tickets where they encounter Leo disguised as a scalper. He calls his boss on a Catphone to inform her. Standing guard, Batman goes on patrol for "three minutes and 20 seconds", allowing Catwoman to cat attack Robin so she can steal the statue. Robin: "Holy cats, a cat!" Batman: "You feline devil! What have you done with Robin?" Vince wonders the villains wear masks when they are already wearing their costumes. Cue an awful fight with the goons while she waits in a corner.

They escape, making sure the Duo can follow them. Catwoman: "You can brush my pussy willows before you leave. And don't go against the fur." Vince: "Goldust didn't even talk like that!" 

The Batmobile is parked so that Robin can walk all over it annoying RD to no end. (:50) 
Robin: "Gato & Chat Fur Company. Gato means cat in Spanish and chat means cat in French! Only the Catwoman would choose a hideout with those names."
Batman: "I'm glad you're up on your foreign languages, Robin, they come in handy when fighting crime."
Robin: "Si, si, Batman. What do we do now?"
They shoot at the door with a Batbeam blowing up the handle.
Robin: "We might have been killed!"
Batman: "Or worse."
Vince thinks they mean motorboating Aunt Harriet. RD makes a big show of protest.

The Duo are trapped in the catacombs (not by Aunt Harriet). Vince doesn't like her laugh. The walls start closing in trash compactor style. Batman tells Robin to "hit the deck" while he tries to keep the walls apart before he notices the spikes are fake. Then a bomb explodes into a flag. Then she decides to "separate Damon from Pythias" by dropping a glass tube on Robin. Batman has to choose one of two doors, which contains a tiger. RD does his Popeye impression, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

Vince got a mysterious package from RD that he won't open until the time is right. (:65)

RD is alarmed he forgot Jim Herd's name.

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman (Julie Newmar)

• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Up to no good, ratings and such, interesting vehicles, forewords
• Blue Van: 1
• Outdated references: 1. Damon & Pythias